Category: Buddhism & Zen

Caveat: 28) 무시 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to ignorance.”

This is #28 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
26. 이간질로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to the divisions sown between people.”
27. 비방 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to slanders done.”
28. 무시 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-eighth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to ignorance.”

Ignorance, shmignorance. Sounds like you got an epistemological problem, buddy. Typical. Happy New Year. Not. My. Favorite. Holiday.

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Caveat: 27) 비방 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to slanders done.”

This is #27 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
25. 원망하는 마음으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to a resentful heart.”
26. 이간질로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to the divisions sown between people.”
27. 비방 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-seventh affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to slanders done.”

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Caveat: 26) 이간질로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to the divisions sown between people.”

This is #26 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
24. 인색 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to miserliness.”
25. 원망하는 마음으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to a resentful heart.”
26. 이간질로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-sixth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to the divisions sown between people.”

“이간질” seems hard to translate in this affirmation. The dictionaries say everything from “division” to “alienation” to “mischief” to “the act of playing one side against the other.”  None of these really work in the above phrase. So, I’ve settled on “the divisions sown between people.”

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Caveat: 25) 원망하는 마음으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to a resentful heart.”

This is #25 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…

23. 분노 심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
         “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to succumbing to rage.”

24. 인색 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to miserliness.”

25. 원망하는 마음으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-fifth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to a resentful heart.”

This affirmation sounds like a country western song lyric. A little bit.

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Caveat: 24) 인색 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to miserliness.”

This is #24 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…

22. 시기심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to jealousy.”

23. 분노 심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
         “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to succumbing to rage.”

24. 인색 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-fourth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to miserliness.”

It can be difficult to let go of physical possessions and money.

Today is the first day of the winter term – I will be teaching optional “English Camp” classes for the kids. Many of the kids and most of the teachers are on vacation.

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Caveat: The Amazing Triumph In Which Bad News Came Embedded

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / Life in Korea / The Wonders of Work / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

I'm writing this as I ride the bus to work. Sometimes I do writing on the bus – it's a good use of the commute time. I save a file, and move it to my online cache or post it later. 

After my previous post, which was depressing in tone, I was meditating. Well… I was attempting to meditate – I don't really think that what I do counts as "real" meditation, although it might count, under some zen-like definitions. Mostly, I watch my monkeymind as it monkeyminds around, with a certain effort at detachedness. I was thinking, of course, about the upcoming Move. What worries me, most, about it? Well, I know which building I'm moving to – it's being built by the school. The school will be my new landlord. This is terrifying, because the school has a notably horrible track-record in managing other aspects of its physical plant. Therefore I expect, with 100% certainty, substantial problems in at least one of the following areas: utilities and internet (90% chance); appliances and things falling apart – despite (or because of) it being a new building – (60%); lack of essential furnishings (40%); plumbing problems (99%). Et cetera.

As I was thinking, however, I tried really hard to find and enumerate the positives. And there are quite a few, actually: 1) the commute will be reduced from 50 minutes each way to less than 5 minutes each way; 2) I will not miss living in Yeonggwang, which is still, by far, the ugliest town I have known in Korea – a country not noted for its attractive efforts at urbanization; 3) the chances that the new apartment is smaller than my current one are probably about nil; 4) I will save money on at least the commuting aspect – I'll be paying no more of the 3400 KRW daily in bus fares, which will add up over my last several months; 5) hopefully money can also be saved vis-a-vis the apartment billing too – my current building nickel-and-dimes me on mysterious building maintenance fees quite a bit – but with the school being the landlord, I might have more opportunity to push back on that kind of thing. 

But there was a real, amazing victory right in front of me, too. It was something altogether different. Yesterday morning, I went to bow to my principal in the morning, as I generally try to do. And after bowing, he approached me and spoke to me about this apartment matter – in Korean. That's how I got the confirmation of the rumor. Yes, I received the news in the Korean Language. Entirely. I even caught some of subtleties of the communication: "did I happen to know that…?" "I hope you'll be OK with…." And this is, upon reflection, a suprising accomplishment. I was receiving work-related news from my principal in Korean and I wasn't even really thinking about the fact that it was in Korean. I didn't understand everything – I never do: impressionistically, it's kind of "blah blah new apartment blah blah in february blah blah I hope that's OK blah blah." But I had no sense that there was some important ambiguity in the communication that I was missing. It was simply what he was telling me. And that was a linguistic triumph.

Caveat: 23) 분노 심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to succumbing to rage.”

This is #23 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…

21. 탐욕으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to avarice.”

22. 시기심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to jealousy.”

23. 분노 심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-third affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to succumbing to rage.”

Coming across this one has caused me to doubt my certainty about my translation above for #18, where I translated “성냄” as “anger.”  But this word, “분노” also seems to mean anger. They’re different types of anger, I’m guessing. “성냄” is offense, or a flaring up of annoyance. Perhaps it might be described as controlled anger.

I get the impression “분노” is more the uncontrolled sort. So I decided to go with the word rage. I’m wondering if the defective helping verb “시다” (in gerund form “심” above) isn’t also altering the meaning somewhat (note that I use “defective” as reference to an established grammatical abstraction, meaning a verb that is not fully conjugable – it’s not a judgment on the quality of the verb). I don’t really even understand how this verb works – it seems to mean something like “allow” or “let.” So it’s “rage being allowed.” Hmm, like “succumbing to rage.”

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Caveat: That is called tautology

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism

“Buddhists, Christians, Islam; nobody knows the truth of God or the truth of Buddha because such a thing does not exist. When you talk about truth, that is already based on what you know. But what you know is originally supposed come from truth, right? So in order to talk about truth you have to know the truth. If you don’t know the truth you can’t talk about it. That is called tautology. You are chasing your own tail.” – Shin, Myo Vong, Cookies of Zen, p 382.

This quote cuts close to what I think of as religion’s “epistemological problem.” And I don’t mean that despectively – I, too, as a practicing faith-based atheist, have the same epistemological problem. Only sincere agnostics (and I am one of those cynics who believes most agnostics are insincere, or, minimally, self-deceptive) can avoid the problem – and they do so only by refusing to play the game. At some point, each believer makes a commitment to some kind of truth. And there is no resolution to the paradox lurking behind the question of where such truth comes from. In fact, perhaps in a slightly Lacanian sense, it is the elision of that paradox that is the definition of faith, although I still prefer the definition of faith I once heard in a lecture by Leonardo Boff: faith is a sort of positive inversion of fear. Cf Kierkegaard?
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Caveat: 22) 시기심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to jealousy.”

This is #22 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…

20. 교만 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to arrogance.”

21. 탐욕으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to avarice.”

22. 시기심으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-second affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to jealousy.”

These recent affirmations have not been so difficult to translate, since only the initial word (which ends up the last word in the translation) has varied. Anger, harsh words, avarice, jealousy. Your standard enumeration of bad things, across most religious traditions.

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Caveat: 21) 탐욕으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to avarice.”

This is #21 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…

19. 모진 말로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to harsh words.”

20. 교만 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to arrogance.”

21. 탐욕으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-first affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to avarice.”

Overnight, it appears a lot of snow fell. Not Minnesota-level “a lot” – but definitely Korea-level “a lot.” I decided to have rice and coffee for breakfast. A strange hybrid sort of breakfast. School has been serving very minimalist lunches, lately. Often almost vegetarian. Maybe they’re out of money – spending too much on remodeling. Everyone – all the Korean teachers – have been upset by this. But I rather like it. I’m weird, I guess.

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Caveat: 20) 교만 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to arrogance.”

This is #20 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
18. 성냄으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to anger.”
19. 모진 말로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to harsh words.”
20. 교만 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twentieth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to arrogance.”

Arrogance. My issue with arrogance is complicated. I don’t really feel that it is one of my major problems – but I know that almost anyone who knows me would say that they suspect it is.

Which is to say, I think many of those around me perceive me as arrogant. I’m intellectually prideful, yes. I can’t deny that. And I talk “down” to people because of my vocabulary, and my refusal to conceal my weird, academic interests in normal conversation. And for people who don’t understand what being a nerd really is like, I’m sure that that comes off as arrogant. The point is – I really do talk that way. I really do think that way. I really do have those interests – I’m not showing off or using it to push people away. I’d much rather talk about linguistic theory or geopolitics than sports or food. I’m sorry. Is that arrogant, for me to want to talk about my interests?

Hmm, there’s another aspect. Which is that I am judgmental. I mean… I come off that way. But that’s not really meant, either. Again – I’m merely expressing what’s interesting to me, and, in the area of “judgment”… well, I have strong values – strong ideas about what’s right or wrong, what’s appropriate. It can be difficult to set aside (or more accurately, to avoid expressing) those values when in conversation with people who don’t seem to share them. But I try.

Really, if I re-read the above, it just comes off as more arrogance. Why does assertively stating ones feelings come off as arrogance? Is the key simply to “shut up”? Is it only possible to be humble with one’s mouth shut? Maybe. This is more plausible than I’d like to admit.

On the other hand, just because I’m intellectually prideful doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with self-confidence in other areas. Lately, I’ve been very anti-social. Avoiding people. Feeling unmotivated. On retreat.

Inadequate as a teacher, unskilled in language acquisition, lazy as an artist.

Can’t.

Won’t.

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Caveat: 19) 모진 말로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to harsh words.”

This is #19 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
17. 전생 , 금생 , 내생의 업보를 소멸하기 위해 지극한 마음으로 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance with a sincere heart, taking care to destroy the karma of my past, current and future lives.”
18. 성냄으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to anger.”
19. 모진 말로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this ninteenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to harsh words.”

This was easy, for a change – because it’s identical to its predecessor except for the substition of “모진 말” (harsh words) for “성냄” (anger).

It’s actually quite difficult never to use harsh words.

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Caveat: 18) 성냄으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to anger.”

This is #18 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
16. 내가 저지른 모든 죄를 망각한 채 살아 온 어리석음을 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any foolishness lived, forgetting any sins committed.”
17. 전생 , 금생 , 내생의 업보를 소멸하기 위해 지극한 마음으로 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance with a sincere heart, taking care to destroy the karma of my past, current and future lives.”
18. 성냄으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this eighteenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to anger.”

Anger. Anger-with-self? That’s my vice. Destiny? Do I believe that?

Walking familiar paths.

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Caveat: 17) 전생 , 금생 , 내생의 업보를 소멸하기 위해 지극한 마음으로 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance with a sincere heart, taking care to destroy the karma of my past, current and future lives.”

This is #17 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

..
15. 내 이웃과 주위에있는 모든 인연들의 감사함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my gratitude for all my ties to my neighborhood and surroundings.”
16. 내가 저지른 모든 죄를 망각한 채 살아 온 어리석음을 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any foolishness lived, forgetting any sins committed.”
17. 전생 , 금생 , 내생의 업보를 소멸하기 위해 지극한 마음으로 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this seventeenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance with a sincere heart, taking care to destroy the karma of my past, current and future lives.”

I don’t believe in karma, nor in past or future lives. These are the sorts of transcendental beliefs that don’t fit with my hyper-rationalist worldview. So this is an aspect of Buddhism that I find it difficult to relate to, although I tend to view karma as a metaphor for the fact that things we do in this life define who we are throughout the remainder of our life, and impact the lives of others, often in very indirect ways.

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Caveat: 16) 내가 저지른 모든 죄를 망각한 채 살아 온 어리석음을 참회하며 절합니다.

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any foolishness lived, forgetting any sins committed.”

This is #16 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
14. 이 세상이 곳에 머물 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들의 귀중함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the preciousness of all my ties to the things that allow me to stay here in this world.”
15. 내 이웃과 주위에있는 모든 인연들의 감사함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my gratitude for all my ties to my neighborhood and surroundings.”
16. 내가 저지른 모든 죄를 망각한 채 살아 온 어리석음을 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this sixteenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any foolishness lived, forgetting any sins committed.”

I’ve certainly lived a lot of foolishness.

At the moment, I’m feeling discouraged. Sometimes, I feel discouraged. My teaching feels stale and uninteresting. My interactions with others feels fraught with my own negativity. I don’t feel like I’m making progress in the things important to me.

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Caveat: 15) 내 이웃과 주위에있는 모든 인연들의 감사함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my gratitude for all my ties to my neighborhood and surroundings.”

This is #15 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
13. 입을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the public virtues of – and my ties to – all those things that I am able to wear.”
14. 이 세상이 곳에 머물 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들의 귀중함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the preciousness of all my ties to the things that allow me to stay here in this world.”
15. 내 이웃과 주위에있는 모든 인연들의 감사함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this fifteenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my gratitude for all my ties to my neighborhood and surroundings.”

Wow – what a downer, coming so close after Thanksgiving day. I’m not sure how I feel about being urged to forget gratitude. It’s certainly a point of divergence in comparison to Christian thought, wherein gratitude is, at least for some, profoundly central to worldview. The concept of grace, and the consequent gratitude, is an aspect of Christianity with which I have often felt some resonance, despite my extreme discomfort with some other aspects of Christian cosmology and even ethics.

There may be some irrationality to this sympathy for Christian notions of Thanksgiving – rooted in the oddly central role that the American Thanksgiving holiday played during my notably un-Christian childhood. Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday, by far: more so than Christmas, which seemed slightly alien to me, even as a fairly young child – not because of some rejection of gift-giving (I was all for that, like any child) – but because as soon as I realized the reason for Christmas, I sensed immediately that our own celebration of it was slightly ironic or even vaguely inappropriate. I think I understood, the moment I realized there was no Santa (and, in fact, my parents made zero effort to perpetuate such a fantasy, being the rationalists that they were – so I was only maybe 4 years old), that we were “borrowing” some else’s holiday.

But, although Thanksgiving has some roots in Protestant (and specifically Puritan) ideas of grace and gratitude, it stands more elegantly – from a cosmological perspective – on its own as a secular holiday. In fact, perhaps the reason I’m comfortable with grace and gratitude is that they don’t, per se, require the existence of any higher power to “work.” So it’s striking to me that another belief system (ie. Buddhism) that manages to (mostly) stay standing despite the elimination of a concept of a higher power, nevertheless seems to be setting itself in opposition to a concept of gratitude.

I have no idea where I’m trying to go with this. Or even if it makes sense. I’m just thinking “out loud.” I feel inclined to read this affirmation as a sort of reminder to not to get attached to the sangha – despite the fact that sangha is one of the refuges. ….which is hard to wrap my mind around.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 14) 이 세상이 곳에 머물 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들의 귀중함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / Language & Linguistics / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the preciousness of all my ties to the things that allow me to stay here in this world.”

This is #14 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
12. 먹을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my ties to all those things that I am able to eat.”
13. 입을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the public virtues of – and my ties to – all those things that I am able to wear.”
14. 이 세상이 곳에 머물 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들의 귀중함을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this fourteenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the preciousness of all my ties to the things that allow me to stay here in this world.”

This translation is a little less literal that some previous efforts. The best I could make out, literally, of the first clause (which is more comfortably the second clause in the English), is something like: “forgetting the preciousness of all ties that are able to stay here in this world.” And that probably means: “forgetting the preciousness of all ties [such] that [I am] able to stay in this world.” But using “…to the things that allow me…” seems to work better in English, if I’ve understood it correctly.

The roles attached to Korean verbs often seem quite oblique to me, not attaching to clear semantic notions of subject/object (is this the dreaded ergativity at work, maybe?). Consequently, although the grammatical subject of the verb “머무르다” (“stay”) seems to me to be “모둔 인연들” (“all ties”), which is relativized by the suffix -ㄴon the periphrastic “-ㄹ 수있게 해 주다” (lit. something scarily like “Be-Able-To-ly Do Give” (and oh, I love those serialized verbs!) which is to say, “be able to”), I nevertheless suspect the semantic subject is the elided speaker “I,” and the “all ties” drops into an oblique role represented by “things that allow…”

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 13) 입을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the public virtues of – and my ties to – all those things that I am able to wear.”

This is #13 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
11. 배울 수있게 해 준 세상의 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of all the origins of the world that can be learned.”
12. 먹을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my ties to all those things that I am able to eat.”
13. 입을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this thirteenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the public virtues of – and my ties to – all those things that I am able to wear.”

Humility. Humility.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 12) 먹을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my ties to all those things that I am able to eat.”

This is #12 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
10. 일가 친척들의 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of the pious acts of my kin.”
11. 배울 수있게 해 준 세상의 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
       “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of all the origins of the world that can be learned.”
12. 먹을 수있게 해 준 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twelfth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my ties to all those things that I am able to eat.”

This is not a call to fast, nor a commitment to disregard starvation. It’s a call to renounce one’s ties to food – not to renounce food. It’s a hard distinction. Perhaps easier to understand at a philosphical level than at a pragmatic one. Since my personal interest in Buddhism lies more at the pragmatics than in any type of abstraction, this is an important puzzle to solve.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 11) 배울 수있게 해 준 세상의 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of all the origins of the world that can be learned.”

This is #11 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
9. 부모님께 감사하는 마음을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my heart full of thanks to my ancestors.”
10. 일가 친척들의 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of the pious acts of my kin.”
11. 배울 수있게 해 준 세상의 모든 인연들을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this eleventh affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of all the origins of the world that can be learned.”

This seems like one of the aspects of Buddhism that I find least attractive: a sort of epistemic nihilism, an abrogation of curiosity in the nature of reality. “We know the ‘real’ reality, so all this reality we see around us doesn’t really interest us.” Then again, that seems to be a feature of any kind of religious certainty, perhaps. Including faith-based atheism?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the “purity narratives” (which all of these affirmations reference, via the concept of repentance), too.  They bother me.  I’m not interested in purity, and I don’t view defilement (i.e. lack of purity) as a valid concept in a philosophically materialist (anti-transcendent) worldview.  But even such as statement as “not a valid concept” is actually a sort of purity narrative, isn’t it? “Material reality is being polluted by concepts of purity! Oh no!” … stuck in a paradox of dialectical thought…

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question. This is especially relevant in the context of this one, since my misunderstanding sent me off on a bit of an ideological tangent about epistemology and “purity narratives”, that turns out to have been unjustified by the original text. The tangent stands, but the cause has disappeared. A koan?]

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Caveat: 10) 일가 친척들의 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of the pious acts of my kin.”

This is #10 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
8. 조상님의 은혜를 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the favors of our ancestors.”
9. 부모님께 감사하는 마음을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my heart full of thanks to my ancestors.”
10. 일가 친척들의 공덕을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this tenth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting any of the pious acts of my kin.”

Weird, thunderstorm this afternoon. Barely above freezing, howling wind. And thunderstorm.

The students gave me pepero sticks. Today was 1111 = “pepero day.” A sort of crass, Korean, commercial, Valentine’s-type day. But the kids all got crunk on sugar. So it was cute, in a hyperactive way.

I had a third grader say something rather surprising, if not exactly “happy”: I asked him, “How are you?” and he answered, “I’m depressed.” This is not typical Korean third-grader vocabulary, though I know his English is pretty good. So I said, “Why?” and he said, shocking me, “I’m ugly.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Finally, I said, “I don’t really think so.” He’s kind of a dead-pan kid. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. I felt kind of sad about it – even if it was just a strange joke.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 9) 부모님께 감사하는 마음을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my heart full of thanks to my ancestors.”

This is #9 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
7. 나의 진실한 마음을 저버리고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, foresaking my true heart.”
8. 조상님의 은혜를 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the favors of our ancestors.”
9. 부모님께 감사하는 마음을 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this ninth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting my heart full of thanks to my ancestors.”

I fell asleep on the bus on the way home from work. That almost never happens. I must be very tired.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: those sands in his eyes

Buddhism & Zen / Life in Korea

Case 10

Sound and Color

A student came to the Great Venerable Chan Master Pop-An (Fa-Yen Wen-I : 885-958) and asked, "How should I understand sound and color?"

Venerable Master said, "Here, good Monk, why don't you introspect yourself about who is asking now?"

Later Chan Master Ja-Soo sang a Gatha for this:

Sound and color are merely two words;
The monk didn't realize those sands in his eyes.
Playing the jade flute in the yellow crane gazebo;
In the town near the river, the plum blossoms falling in May.

The truth of this Kong-An [koan] is distant from any terms, easy or difficult.  Therefore, it is neither difficult nor easy.  Truly, the faithful student who has the bright eye can notice what it is.

Jade flute?  What kind of jade flute?
Plum blossom?  What kind of plum blossom?

If one can distinguish the jade flute and the plum blossom, then tell me now.  If one is capable of distinguishing, then I will comment with an ancient sage's Gatha: 

Truly fortunate is the blind tortoise
Who accidentally found a board floating in the ocean,
Or a mustard seed which was pierced
Through by a tiny needle dropped from Heaven.
He would be the final winner of Tao.

Venerable Master responded for himself

If someone asked me this Kong-An, I would answer,

Before even clouds are gathered in the southern mountain
Rain poured down in the northern mountain.

[from a section entitled "Hye-Am:  Patriarchal Hwa-du," in Cookies of Zen by Shin Myo Vong]

Caveat: 8) 조상님의 은혜를 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the favors of our ancestors.”

This is #8 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations.

…
6. 나의 몸을 소중하게 여기지 않고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, not regarding my body as something dear.”
7. 나의 진실한 마음을 저버리고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forsaking my true heart.”
8. 조상님의 은혜를 잊고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this eighth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting the favors of our ancestors.”

The Bodhidharma was a 5th century Buddhist evangelist who traveled from India to China. He is credited with being the first major proponent of “zen,” within the “great path” type of Buddhism, called Mahayana. I’m reading a collection of some of his works translated into English by someone called Red Pine (I’m not sure what kind of name this is – that’s what it says on the cover).

In a section called the “Bloodstream Sermon,” Bodhidharma says:

The mind is the buddha, and the buddha is the mind. Beyond the mind there’s no buddha, and beyond the buddha there’s no mind. If you think there’s a buddha beyond the mind, where is he? There’s no buddha beyond the mind, so why envision one? You can’t know your real mind as long as you deceive yourself.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 7) 나의 진실한 마음을 저버리고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forsaking my true heart.”

This is #7 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
5. 나는 누구인가, 참 나는 어디있는가를 망각한 채 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting wherever I may be, whoever I may be.” 
6. 나의 몸을 소중하게 여기지 않고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, not regarding my body as something dear.”
7. 나의 진실한 마음을 저버리고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this seventh affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forsaking my true heart.”

Is this really telling me to forsake my true heart? Or did I get something wrong?

I feel very tired today. Exhausted from pushing hard over the weekend, maybe. Not feeling motivated, but I had dinner with my friend Mr Kim at a gulbi joint in Beopseong – this was actually the very first time I’ve eaten in a gulbi joint in Beopsong, despite the fact that I’ve gone through there every single working day since starting here, and some non-working days as well. The gulbi itself was pretty good. I wasn’t so into the banchan, this evening. Hard to judge if it was the quality on offer, or if I was just in an anti-banchan mood.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forsaking…”. The “forsaking my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 6) 나의 몸을 소중하게 여기지 않고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, not regarding my body as something dear.”

The parallelism continues. Maybe, at this rate, I’ll figure out what the grammar is trying to do. Out of 108 affirmations, I’m now on number six.

…
4. 나는 어디서 왔는가, 어디로 갈 것인가를 생각하지 않고 살아온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds  lived, wherever I think I may have come from, wherever I think I may go to.”
5. 나는 누구인가, 참 나는 어디있는가를 망각한 채 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting wherever I may be, whoever I may be.”
6. 나의 몸을 소중하게 여기지 않고 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this sixth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, not regarding my body as something dear.”

The first clause seems to literally say, “and not regarding my body preciously.” I settled on the above both with a mind to keeping the parallelism with the previous two affirmations, and to try to make sense of it. I’m not sure that I didn’t take too many liberties with the meaning, though.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, not regarding…”. The “not regarding my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 5) 나는 누구인가, 참 나는 어디있는가를 망각한 채 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting wherever I may be, whoever I may be.”

This is #5 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
3. 지극한 마음으로 승가에 귀의합니다.
     “I turn to the Sangha [Buddhist community-of-faithful] with all my heart.”
4. 나는 어디서 왔는가, 어디로 갈 것인가를 생각하지 않고 살아온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.
     “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds  lived, wherever I think I may have come from, wherever I think I may go to.”
5. 나는 누구인가, 참 나는 어디있는가를 망각한 채 살아 온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read the fifth affirmation (with the same reservations and caveats as the last one’s) as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, forgetting wherever I may be, whoever I may be.”

Fortunately, there is a lot of parallelism, from affirmation to affirmation. As a consequence, I could rely on the hard work invested in making sense of the fourth one to try to sort out this next one.

I’m still not comfortable with the connection between the main clause (second part of sentence, “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived”) and the preceding clause (first part, “forgetting …”) – not in this affirmation nor in my translation of the last one.  But I don’t really see how it works – is the first clause subordinate or coordinate, or is it a clause standing as some kind of noun or adjective modifying or modified by “lived”?

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, forgetting…”. The “forgetting my X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 4) 나는 어디서 왔는가, 어디로 갈 것인가를 생각하지 않고 살아온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, not thinking where I may have come from nor where I may go to.”

This is #4 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).

…
2. 지극한 마음으로 부처님 법에 귀의합니다.
     “I turn to the Buddha Dharma [Law of Buddha] with all my heart.”
3. 지극한 마음으로 승가에 귀의합니다.
     “I turn to the Sangha [Buddhist community-of-faithful] with all my heart.”
4. 나는 어디서 왔는가, 어디로 갈 것인가를 생각하지 않고 살아온 죄를 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read the fourth affirmation (very tentatively) as: “I bow in repentance of any misdeeds lived, not thinking where I may have come from nor where I may go to.” 

This time, the translation was painful.

Wow, I can’t even begin to really understand what’s going on with these verbs – they’re stacked deeper than a Duluth snowdrift in January. And I may not have gotten it right – I deliberately have not gone out to try to find a translation. The Googlator gets it stunningly wrong: “I came from and where do you go from thinking you have lived without prostrate in repentance.” But knowing that Google is wrong isn’t the same as being able to do a better job, myself.

Here’s a breakdown of the pieces, as best as I can figure out:

나 = I
-는 = [TOPIC marker]
어디서 = from where[ever]
왔 = come [with embedded PAST tense marker]
-는가 = [This thing puzzles the heck out of me, but I found the following in on page 255 of my “Korean Grammar for International Learners” (my “bible”): “Vst-는가 하다  This pattern expresses the speaker’s thoughts, imaginings or suppositions about an action or state of affairs.” Also, it seems to be something that’s used when there is an alternation of choices. So from a translation standpoint, I’ve opted for the somewhat old-fashioned-sounding modal construction using “may … “]
어디로 = to where[ever]
갈 = go [FUTURE participle]
것이 = [a periphrastic “blank” nominalizer with a copula (“be-verb”) suffix. Combined with the preceding future participle, it makes a periphrastic future or suppositional tense]
 -ㄴ가 = [This the second installment of the “alternation” referenced above, in talking about “may…”]
를 = [if you decide to take the whole “sentence so far” as a nominal, this is a handy OBJECT marker making it all the object of the following verb]
생각하 = think [unmarked verb stem]
지 = [pre-NEGative non-terminative flag (maybe analogous to some language’s deployment of a subjunctive)]
않 = [NEG… the whole “think” phrase up-to-this-point is now, suddenly, negative, but I don’t think it really has that meaning… it seems more subjunctive]
고 = and / for [a kind of verbal non-terminative conjunct ending, also used in progressive modes]
살아 = live [unmarked FINITE form]
온 = [this bothers me, but I think it’s a participle of “to come” that’s been strung onto the proceeding verb “live” – that would make it an example of the famous “verb serialization” phenom that we study in linguistics, for which Korean is often used as an example. I have trouble seeing how the conjoined first “half” (up to 않고) joins to this relativized form that seems to mean “…that [I] have come to live…”]
죄 = misdeed
를 = [OBJECT marker … again, for the second half of the sentence, now]
참회하 = repent [unmarked non-terminative]
며 = while
절하 = bow [unmarked non-terminative]
-ㅂ니다 = [terminative, high-formal, declarative ending … YAY, we made it!]

I saw my breath this morning, walking to the bus terminal. Fall is happening fast, this year.

[UPDATE: So it occurs to me, on rereading this much later, that I have misunderstood this aphorism – this one, and all those that have the same structure “…misdeeds lived, not thinking…”. The “not thinking X” is in fact an example of the “misdeeds lived” – which is to say, you’re repenting for failing to experience the feeling in question.]

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Caveat: 3) 지극한 마음으로 승가에 귀의합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I turn to the Sangha [Buddhist community-of-faithful] with all my heart.”

This begins to become a regular exercise (is it a linguistic pursuit, a cultural pursuit, or a religious one?).

1. 지극한 마음으로 부처님께 귀의합니다.
     “I turn to the Buddha with all my heart.”
2. 지극한 마음으로 부처님 법에 귀의합니다.
     “I turn to the Buddha Dharma [Law of Buddha] with all my heart.”
3. 지극한 마음으로 승가에 귀의합니다.

I would read the third affirmation as “I turn to the Sangha [Buddhist community-of-faithful] with all my heart.”

The Korean “승가” [seung-ga] is given as “priesthood” by naver’s dictionary, but I don’t think this is accurate. Sangha (this is the Pali word, I think, but like dharma, it’s widely used in untranslated form in English Language Buddhist literature) is a little bit broader than that. It’s kind of the Buddhist equivalent of the word “church” in Christian tradition, almost – it can mean those affiliated with a church directly, like priests or pastors or whatever, but it can also mean everybody in the community.

In the past week, since Chuseok day, fall has arrived and spun a cocoon of chill breezes and gold-green rice fields and loosening leaves across the Korean landscape. Winter will emerge from this chrysalis, in a month or two. I’m pleased. I much prefer Autumn to Summer.

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Caveat: 2) 지극한 마음으로 부처님 법에 귀의합니다

Buddhism & Zen / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I turn to the Buddha Dharma [Law of Buddha] with all my heart.”
More affirmations on 불교TV.

1. 지극한 마음으로 부처님께 귀의합니다 .
     “I turn to the Buddha with all my heart.”
2. 지극한 마음으로 부처님 법에 귀의합니다.

I would read the second affirmation as:  “I turn to the Buddha Dharma [Law of Buddha] with all my heart.”
I don’t like using the words dharma and law as if they were equivalent, although in this case the Korean word 법 [beop] also translates as law.  But I think in the Buddhist religious tradition, the concept of dharma apparently could just as easily be understood as “teaching” or “knowledge.”  The word dharma is Sanskrit, but the word is widely used as a naturalized word in English – in the closely related Pali Language, it is dhamma.  Pali was the language of the first Buddhist writings.

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Caveat: The Venal Vice Principal Devours My Patience

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / Life in Korea / Teaching & Methodology

Donald S. Lopez, Jr., in his book The Story of Buddhism, discusses the bodhisattva Shantideva's argument for patience.  Lopez writes,

When someone strikes us with a stick, do we become angry at the stick or the person wielding the stick?  Both are necessary for pain to be inflicted, but we feel anger only for the agent of our pain, not the instrument.  But the person who moves the stick is himself moved by anger;  he serves as its instrument.  If we are directing our anger against the root cause of the pain, we should therefore direct our anger against anger.

Today, my patience was tested.  I didn't fare so well – I felt a lot of anger.  Mostly, at my vice principal, who seems to be a petty bureaucrat, an unkind person, and, most disturbingly, a venal, xenophobic buffoon.  Yes, all of those things.

I didn't enjoy how his capricious commands ended up leading to my personal possessions and space (what little remains for me at my school – it has been reduced to a shelf in a cabinet, in essence, nothing more – no desk, no closet, no work area) being invaded, rearranged, and disregarded, while I was away teaching class.  I had to go dig my bag of stickers (prizes for students) out of a heap of seeming trash, and my toothbrush and toothpaste was in another pile.

The vice principal isn't so much a 'stick' being wielded by anger so much as a 'stick' being wielded by incompetence, I would say.  Combined with an utter disregard for human kindness.  That stick, in turn, wielded the stick of my coworkers' disregard for my personal space, which struck me and led to anger.  I felt anger.

The man is a caricature.  If I was watching a Korean drama, and there was to be an annoying, incompetent-to-the-point-of-dangerous, petty bureaucrat, he could fill the role, without having to take acting lessons of any kind.

I need to just get over it.  It's no big deal, right?  Where's my patience?  I really don't want to become one of those people who spend all his time in Korea complaining about Korea.  That's just… a waste of my time.  Right?  I meet people like that, all the time, and they drive me nuts.  But jeez…  I've felt so much frustration, lately.  With the language.  With the bureaucratic incomptence of my school's administrative staff.  With my commute.  With just this and that.

Caveat: 1) 지극한 마음으로 부처님께 귀의합니다

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / The 108 / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

“I turn to the Buddha with all my heart.”

I’m definitely sick. I thought I was feeling better, yesterday morning, but I felt like I had a fever all day.  Often, when I know I have a fever, I deliberately don’t take medicine, because my understanding is that a low-grade fever can help the body fight whatever infection it’s fighting – the fever has the function of making the environment hostile to the infection.  I have no idea if this really good practice, but it’s always been my way of coping, though it’s uncomfortable. Partly it’s because I just don’t like taking medicine.  It always feels like an assault on my existential autonomy, although that’s philosophically inconsistent if not downright ridiculous.

Last night, when I got home, I felt really rotten. I began watching some shoot-em-up action flick on the TV, but it was really annoying. I have limited patience for Bruce Willis. I changed to the Buddhist channel. I sometimes will watch this as sort of background noise, because there’s lots of complex Korean to listen to, it’s culturally interesting, and the wacky-yet-banal informercials can be an entertaining contrast.

I’ve come to realize that every evening around 6 PM, the Buddhist channel runs a sort of day-end prayer, which are in the form of 108 affirmations. Lots of Buddhist ritual comes in sets of 108, which is an important number for Buddhists.

Anyway, the title to this blog entry is affirmation number one:

1. 지극한 마음으로 부처님께 귀의합니다.

Google translate, with typical guileless aplomb, asserts that this means “Buddha mind is extreme ear.”  Which might make a good title for a comedy involving a philosophical meditation on the daredevil the body parts of great thinkers.  But I think a good translation might be:  “I turn to the Buddha with all my heart.”  The first word, “지극한” is an adjectivalized form of the descriptive verb “지극하다,” which literally means “extreme” but in this context, I think it can mean “the depths of,” i.e. “all,” modifying “마음” “heart.”

I am not becoming a Buddhist. Not in terms of commitment. I can’t – I’m a dialectical materialist, and deeply committed to an anti-spiritual, anti-transcendent worldview. But I have strong sympathies for Buddhist practices, and I have found a lot of pragmatic “peace of mind” in Buddhist-style meditative practice, specifically (such as Zen and Vipassana). And I have been encouraged by the fact that when I say things like “I’m an atheist” to Buddhists, I don’t get the shocked and alarmed reaction of Christians, who immediately begin to worry over the fate of my soul. Buddhists, on the other hand, generally say things like, “that’s OK,” or “It doesn’t really matter.” Because they express no hostility toward my worldview, I feel no hostility toward theirs. Peace begets peace.

The morning is foggy. One thing I like about the weather in Glory County, Korea, is the prevalence of fog. It takes me back to my childhood, and the Pacific fogs of the Northern California coast.

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Caveat: Arcoiris en Bulgapsan

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / Español Aleatorio (Random Spanish) / Life in Korea

Mi amigo Seungbae recien ha conseguido nuevo empleo en Gwangju.  En consecuencia, voy a poder verle más frecuentemente que cuando estaba en Suwon.  Ayer me llamó, y vino a visitarme en Yeonggwang por unas horas.  Como tiene vehículo, fácilmente fuimos a Bulgapsan, la montaña al sur del pueblo donde se ubica un templo algo famoso, y que no he podido visitar hasta el momento:  hay autobuses locales que corren regularmente, solo he faltado de motivación para poder hacerlo.

Llovía bastante fuerte a ratos, en el parque alrededor del templo, pero fuimos caminando y hablando.  Debía haber traído mi cámera, porque el templo fue muy bello e interesante, incluso un puerto en forma circular, construcción tradicional, muchas figuras  pintadas con los colores tradicionales de Corea.  Debo regresar con mi cámera.

Caminando de regreso al estacionamiento, vimos un gran arcoiris sobre el valle. 

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