Caveat: 1998

Things began to break down with Michelle and I wasn’t doing very well with it. In August, we decided on a “trial separation,” but I wasn’t willing to  approach this methodically, and by September, I had quit my teaching job and I ran off (somewhat irresponsibly, I realize) to stay on my uncle Arthur’s land in Alaska. I cut trees and brush with a chainsaw (in the rain), and shoveled gravel (in the rain), and wrote a novel (sitting in a white van, in the rain). In November, I gave up on Alaska and on solitude, and I went to LA to stay with my father, who had recently divorced my stepmother of 21 years, whom I sometimes idolized. This was a very bad period for me, and so, closing out the year with a bang, I attempted suicide while parked alongside the Pacific Coast Highway north of San Simeon, and I nearly succeeded. I spent time in a mental hospital (the parallels with Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance are, um, disconcerting).
[This entry is part of a timeline I am making using this blog. I am writing a single entry for each year of my life, which when viewed together in order will provide a sort of timeline. This entry wasn’t written in 1998 – it was written in the future.]

Caveat: More! Zap!

12/2 4:50  am Update – Wednesday.

Now on your second procedure [ECT]. The first was completed without problem on Monday. Yesterday (Tues) you were discharged from hospital, stayed at home with Phil. You will be starting the hospital program today after procedure.

[The "retroblogging" project:  this is a "back-post" written and
added 2013-06-09  I've decided to "fill-in" my blog all the way
back.  It's a big project.  But there's no time limit, right?

wrote this while among the dead. My paper journals from this period are
precisely dated and have multiple entries from each day.]

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