Month: November 2013

Caveat: ideology:anxiety::malice:stupidity

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism

There is a famous aphorism in English that goes:

Never attribute to malice that which is more easily explained by stupidity.

The phrase applies a sort of Occam's Razor to the problem of bad behavior in people.

Recently, having run across several accounts of "racism" in Korea, I wondered if there might be a sort of corollary to this aphorism that applies specifically to those sorts of bad behavior. Of course, as foreigners in Korea, we often suffer strange or disturbing slights and mistreatments. One frequent thing that I have experienced myself is to be ignored by taxi drivers.

My thought, though, is that rather than assume that's racism at work, why not assume it's not that different from the reason store clerks say nothing to you, or why my students sit and stare at me when I say hello: it's fear or anxiety over fraught language interaction.

Obviously, there is still generalization and stereotyping going on – after all, it might be one of those foreigners who speaks Korean well that the taxi driver drove past.

But social language anxiety is very powerful. Consider my own bizarre telephone anxiety as a case-in-point. I am not that indrawn of a person, yet I am terrified to answer my phone in this country. Unless it's a number of someone I've already added to my contact list (and therefore their name shows when they call) I simply don't answer my phone, for fear of having to interact in Korean. This is true, despite the fact that I have in the past successfully interacted on the phone in Korean, when it was absolutely necessary.

Might it not be the case that many of these taxi drivers and store clerks who slight foreigners are simply engaging in similar language-anxiety driven behavior? I think so. Koreans are typically very self-conscious about their poor English skills, because their society has spent several generations, now, pounding into their heads that they should have such skills.

Well, anyway, I guess I could develop this further and more precisely, but mostly, I wanted to invent a new corollary to the aphorism at the start of this blog-post. It goes:

Never attribute to ideology (e.g. "racism") that which is more easily explained by social anxiety.

It really can be easily represented by one of those SAT-style vocabulary analogies:

ideology:anxiety::malice:stupidity

[daily log: walking, 4.5 km]

Caveat: Dreaming Drawing Monsters

Banalities & Journaling / My Drawings & Paintings

2013-11-14 09.15.18I slept longer than I have in a long time – I woke up about two hours later than my usual time. That's a sign that I was tired yesterday.

I was having strange dreams about drawing monsters. Cartoon monsters. Not much plot. Just drawing cartoon monsters.

Some dream. I tried to draw one of the cute monsters I'd been dreamdrawing immediately when I woke up (see right). Success: marginal.

Caveat: Package Received

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

When I arrived at work today, I saw that I had received a care package from my brother. It is, by far the most eccentric (and therefore best) care package I've ever received.

It included finger puppets (from his girlfriend Hollye), which will be perfect for my lower grades roleplay classes. It included various random packages of unusual flavors of tea and coffee. It included what appears to be a late 1800's edition of Longfellow's poetry (it's undated, like many books from the pre-modern era). It contained some hand-burned CDs of music (some of which were damaged, making me think maybe my brother found them on the floor of the garage or somewhere like that). It contained a robot magnet. And it contained a panic button – literally: a button that looked detached from some device, with the word "PANIC" inscribed on it. Oh, and it had some iodine supplements – which I'd asked for, having been unable to find them in Korea, and theorizing that iodine might be part of what might help my post-cancer resistance to further cancer go well.

2013-11-13 22.21.49

My brother knows me well.

Work was intense today. I had 6 classes, all in a row. And every single one of them was "new" – not the kids, but the curriculum spots were all inherited from other teachers, as we got new schedules this week and I have finally become truly "full time" again. With every class being new, I was hardly well-prepared. But I knew the kids, anyway, and considering everything, it went pretty smoothly. It's the most intense, full teaching day I've had since before my hospitalization.

Walking home, my mp3 shuffle seemed fixated on playing only sad and depressing songs. But I didn't fast forward through them, I just listened. Not really feeling that sad or depressed at the moment. Just tired.

What I'm listening to right now.

Gossamer, "Memoir."

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Hay que saltar del corazón al mundo

Not My Poetry

Contacto externo

Mis ojos de plaza pública
Mis ojos de silencio y de desierto
El dulce tumulto interno
La soledad que se despierta
Cuando el perfume se separa de las flores y emprende el viaje
Y el río del alma largo largo
Que no dice más ni tiempo ni espacio

Un día vendrá ha venido ya
La selva forma una sustancia prodigiosa
La luna tose
El mar desciende de su coche
Un jour viendra est déjà venu
Y Yo no digo más ni primavera ni invierno

Hay que saltar del corazón al mundo
Hay que construir un poco de infinito para el hombre

– Vicente Huidobro (poeta chileno, 1893-1948)

Caveat: Those Uzbek Girls

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

I was talking with the TEPS반 boys – there's only two right now – about what different countries are famous for. I don't remember the details of the conversation, but the meaning of this is e.g. Australia is famous for kangaroos or Egypt is famous for pyramids. These are advanced, ninth-grade boys. We were just killing time, it wasn't a lesson.

"What else can countries be famous for?" I asked something like this, speculating.

"Girls," one boy said.

Of course! These are ninth-grade boys, right? "What country is famous for girls?" I asked, genuinely curious what the answer would be.

"Uzbekistan," he said, as if it was a well-known fact.

"Really? Uzbekistan is famous for girls?"

"Oh, yes. They are perfect."

"How do you know this?" I pondered.

"It's just known."

[daily log: walking, 4.5 km]

Caveat: 보기 좋은 떡이 먹기에도 좋다

한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean) / 한국어 속담 (Aphorisms & Proverbs)

My friend sent me this aphorism in a text message. He was using it to make a sort innuendo about dating between men and women.
보기      좋은           떡이          먹기에도          좋다
bo·gi    joh·eun       tteok·i       meok·gi·e·do    joh·da
look-GER be-good-PPART ricecake-SUBJ eat-GER-ABL-TOO be-good-PRES
Good-looking rice cakes are good to eat too.

SV400044It’s pretty much self-explanatory.
Picture at right shows a web-found image of a vast variety of sweet and savory rice cakes (떡 [tteok]).
To be honest, I don’t like many of these things, but there are certain types I find quite delicious – mostly the plainer varieties found in soups or tteokbokki.

Caveat: Teach a Language

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Language & Linguistics

For many years, we've been hearing reports about the idea that bilingualism (and tri- and multi-lingualism) can give cognitive benefits and stave off mental decline and even prevent or postpone Alzheimers.

One weakness in the data has been that this research has mostly been done in countries where most bilinguals happen, coincidentally, to belong to immigrant populations (e.g. the US, Australia, Western Europe) -  so there's always been a lingering doubt as to whether the brain benefits were being delivered as a result of bilingualism or were possibly linked to some other aspect of the immigrant experience / environment.

Now a major study out of India has narrowed the apparent benefits more specifically to multilingualism – see this post at Language Log for details.

Give a life-long gift to a child today – teach her or him a language.

What I'm listening to right now.

MC 900 Ft Jesus, "If I Only Had a Brain."

Lyrics

Suppose I accidentally got my shit together
Would I get a medal?
Or a pat on the back and a little feather
I could stick in my cap or pin it to my shirt
Go out in the yard and poke it in the dirt
Or leave it in the woods where it couldn't be found
If it fell over, would it make a sound?
And if it did, would it be the sound that you like?
Or should I do it over until I get it right?

You say everything I know is wrong
So do me a favor, and play along for a minute
As the rusty gears turn
Don't be alarmed if you smell something burning upstairs
It's a little BB rolling around in a box car
See us together

Maybe it wouldn't be hard to explain
If I only had a brain

[chorus]
Somewhere on a higher mental plain
(Somewhere On A Higher mental plain)
I might learn to come in from the rain
(I might learn to come in from the rain)
If I had a clue would I still be here with you?
(If I had a clue would I still be here with you?)
Gee whiz, if I only had a brain
(Gee Whiz, If I only had a brain)

Who's that?
Oh, my little friend cupid
Wearing a shirt that says I'm with stupid
Always nearby wherever I go
He's looking out for me, don't you know

Mr. excitement, never in a rut
Johnny on the spot with an arrow in the butt
Ouch! I guess your love is true
Now, if I could only get a clue

[chorus]
Had a brain
Had a brain
Had a brain
Had a brain

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Branco e Preto

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Cancer

Stuff.

Life keeps happening. I noticed I'm still losing hair. I didn't lose much from the top of my head during radiation (unlike my beard which disappeared almost entirely – but that just makes shaving easier), but I've been aware that the rate of loss overall seems to have accelerated. I keep finding grey and white hair: Oh… that's mine, isn't it? Well, used to be…. goodbye.

What I'm listening to right now.

Elis Regina, "Retrato em Branco e Preto."

letra:

Já conheço os passos dessa estrada
Sei que não vai dar em nada
Seus segredos sei de cor
Já conheço as pedras do caminho,
E sei também que ali sozinho,
Eu vou ficar tanto pior
E o que é que eu posso contra o encanto,
Desse amor que eu nego tanto
Evito tanto e que, no entanto,
Volta sempre a enfeitiçar
Com seus mesmos tristes, velhos fatos,
Que num álbum de retratos
Eu teimo em colecionar

Lá vou eu de novo como um tolo,
Procurar o desconsolo,
Que cansei de conhecer
Novos dias tristes, noites claras,
Versos, cartas, minha cara
Ainda volto a lhe escrever
Pra lhe dizer que isso é pecado,
Eu trago o peito tão marcado
De lembranças do passado e você sabe a razão
Vou colecionar mais um soneto,
Outro retrato em branco e preto
A maltratar meu coração

Caveat: On Revision

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Quotable

Here is an interesting quote on the process of revision.

Over and over again, we are told about the importance of polishing, of revising, of tearing up, and rewriting. I got the bewildered notion that, far from being expected to type it right the first time, as Heinlein had advised me, I was expected to type it all wrong and get it right only by the thirty-second time, if at all.

I went home immersed in gloom and the very next time I wrote a story, I tried to tear it up. I couldn’t make myself do it. So I went over to see all the terrible things I had done, in order to revise them. To my chagrin, everything sounded great to me. (My own writing always sounds great to me.) Eventually, after wasting hours and hours–to say nothing of suffering spiritual agony—I gave it up. My stories would have to be written the way they always were—and still are.

What is it I am saying, then? That it is wrong to revise? No, of course not—anymore than it is wrong not to revise.
– Isaac Asimov

I was forced to revise my Sunday walk, as once I was outside I came to the stark realization that it had become cold. It was 1°C. I guess it's time to break out the winter clothes.

What I'm listening to right now.

John Newman, "Love Me Again." The video is rather depressing (spoiler), if you watch all the way through.

[daily log: walking, 4 km]

Caveat: Dissolute Turtle

My Drawings & Paintings

I have been working on this for a lot longer than appearances would suggest. I'm happy with it compositionally but frustrated with it from a technical standpoint – I'm not very comfortable with watercolor as a medium.

2013-11-10 09.22.15

Dissolute Turtle (ink and watercolor).

Caveat: the aim and the end

Not My Poetry / Quotable

Being But Men

Being but men, we walked into the trees
Afraid, letting our syllables be soft
For fear of waking the rooks,
For fear of coming
Noiselessly into a world of wings and cries.

If we were children we might climb,
Catch the rooks sleeping, and break no twig,
And, after the soft ascent,
Thrust out our heads above the branches
To wonder at the unfailing stars.

Out of confusion, as the way is,
And the wonder, that man knows,
Out of the chaos would come bliss.

That, then, is loveliness, we said,
Children in wonder watching the stars,
Is the aim and the end.

Being but men, we walked into the trees.
– Dylan Thomas

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Chicken? Egg? Solved!

Banalities & Journaling / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

In my TOEFL2반 class, I decided to switch things up a bit.

I teach them "Speaking" – which in TOEFL / iBT prep, means getting them to give 45-second or one-minute speeches in response to sample test questions, mostly. It's all about practice, practice, practice. So a normal class involves me getting each of them to answer 2 or 3 questions. We have a routine: I ask the question and randomly choose a student; I hand them my smartphone, which has a countdown timer on the screen, set for e.g. 45 seconds; then I hold my video camera on them – not because I'm going to do anything at all with the result, but merely because it creates an amazing level of "pressure" and focus. And they talk.

Last night, I decided let them ask me questions, instead, following essentially the same routine. I handed the camera to one of the students, sat down at a desk facing them and put my timer down in front of me. They would ask a question, I would have 15 seconds to cogitate on a response, and then I would talk for 45 seconds, with the camera on. Most of the questions they asked were the same typical "made up" iBT Independent Speaking questions (types 1 and 2) that we see in our textbooks. But at the end they threw me a few strange ones, just to see what I'd do. I ran with it, of course.

The final question of the evening was: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

Here is my answer.

I'm not sure I was able to explain it adequately in my alloted 45 seconds, but I think I held my own. When asked to give my response a score on the 4 point iBT speaking scale, my students gave me a 2.9. This seems about right, in my opinion – even native speakers can only do so well on test like the TOEFL, and I always tell my students that a perfect score on the iBT Speaking section is as much about luck on the questions as it is about ability, because even native speakers can easily blow a question or two, ending up tongue-tied or devoid of clear ideas for a response, given the short time-frame.

 

Caveat: 소리 없는 고양이 쥐 잡는다

한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean) / 한국어 속담 (Aphorisms & Proverbs)

TOM & JERRY 9This is an aphorism from my aphorism book.
소리    없는              고양이      쥐    잡는다.
so·ri  eops·neun         go·yang·i jwi   jap·neun·da
noise  not-have-PRESPART cat       mouse catch-PRES
The quiet cat catches the mouse.
A quiet person is more successful than a noisy person.
[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Cheap Flights to Auckland

Found Online / Internet & Blogging

Anyone who has a blog has had the experience of "spam" comments showing up in the comments section. I recently ran across a piece of spam commentary that seemed almost like poetry. It's not often that spam speaks to one so personally as this passage seems to do.

In a vacuum all photons travel at the same speed. They slow down when travelling through air or water or glass. Photons of different energies are slowed down at different rates. If Tolstoy had known this, would he have recognised the terrible untruth at the beginning of Anna Karenina? 'All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own particular way.' In fact it's the other way around. Happiness is a specific. Misery is a generalisation. People usually know exactly why they are happy. They very rarely know why they are miserable. Cheap Flights to Auckland

I always wonder about the origin of texts like this – computer generation? non-native-speaker authorship? some kind of burroughsian cut-up of wikipedia?

Caveat: PTSD?

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Cancer

My acquaintance Kelli (a former coworker from circa 1988) suggested, based on her own experience, that there is possibly a component of the cancer treatment process that leads to PTSD. I've been mulling it over, and it makes sense. That explains the slightly affect-less, semi-shell-shocked feeling I've been having so much of, lately.

I hesitate to use the term, though – both because it seems broadly over-used as part of our culture, and also because I'm not sure how I feel about it as a "diagnosis" at all. I'm not much of one for the DSM, when you get down to it. It's a lot of labels.

Partly, though, my feeling is it's just being back in the grind of work. I had been intending to plunge back into a kind of self-curative workaholism after the worst was over, and so… that's where I'm going. It's taxing, though – physically because I'm not in the best shape, and emotionally, because, well… work.

What I'm listening to right now.

Peter Murphy, "Cuts You Up."

[daily log: walking, 6 km]

Caveat: es enemigo amor de la mudanza

Media (Texts/Music/Movies etc) / Not My Poetry / Quotable

Cervates_jauregui
Mar sesgo, viento largo, estrella clara,
camino, aunque no usado, alegre y cierto,
al hermoso, al seguro, al capaz puerto
llevan la nave vuestra, única y rara.
En Scilas ni en Caribdis no repara,
ni en peligro que el mar tenga encubierto,
siguiendo su derrota al descubierto,
que limpia honestidad su curso para.
Con todo, si os faltare la esperanza
de llegar a este puerto, no por eso
gireis las velas, que será simpleza.
Que es enemigo amor de la mudanza,
y nunca tuvo próspero suceso
el que no se quilata en la firmeza.
– Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616).

 


170px-Los_trabajos_de_Persiles_y_Sigismunda_(1617)El soneto aparece en su novela Los Trabajos de Persiles y Sigismunda, en el cap. 9 de la primera parte, atribuido al personaje de Manuel de Sosa Coitiño, el llamado "enamorado portugués." Es fácil olvidar que el novelista Cervantes también escribió mucha poesía de calidad notable – porque siempre aparece en sus novelas y cuentos atribuida a sus personajes fictícios.

Caveat: Grandmother’s Kimchi

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

We were doing iBT (TOEFL) Speaking test practice questions in the T1 반. I asked a question something like "Choose what you think is the most dangerous social idea in history and discuss."

The students have 15 seconds to think what to say and then must begin talking for 45 seconds. That's TOEFL.

That clown, Tae-hui, gave an answer, without waiting for me to say "start." He made me laugh:

"My grandmother's kimchi," he deadpanned.

What I'm listening to right now.

Capital Cities, "Safe and Sound."

Caveat: Teach Children with Love and Wisdom

Banalities & Journaling / Cancer / Kids / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / Quotable / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

Last night, I had a pretty long conversation with Curt. He was distraught over difficult business decisions: complaints from parents about teachers (fortunately not about me, at least none reported)… therefore more changes in the employee rolls forthcoming… lost students….

"I don't want to be 원장 [wonjang = hagwon boss] anymore!" he sighed.

He paid me an unexpected complement, then, as I complained, in turn, about my current struggle with reconciling my slow and still painful post-cancer recovery with my ambition, such as it is.

"In the time if have known you, you have shown a strong ability to be reborn," he said. He stood up and demonstratively tapped the [broken link! FIXME] Nietzsche quote that is still taped up beside the staffroom door. I'm often surprised and pleased by the philosophical turns our conversations take.

"I reinvent myself," I clarified, perhaps wanting to move away from the religious connotations of being "reborn" that he no doubt wasn't really familiar with in English.

"Yes. You were very different when I first met you." That was in late, 2007, and I worked for him the first time in the spring of 2008.

I didn't feel different…. I don't feel different.

But yes… I reinvent myself, it's true. Constantly.

"So now, I have to reinvent myself again," I finally said, with my own sigh.

"Yes. You can do it."

I will strive to become a better teacher, in my new post-cancer version of the jared.

Here are some ideas from my sixth-grade student Andrea in her recent month-end speech, on how to be a better teacher.



She's the kind of student that I am teaching for – I prefer students like her who have such high standards and expectations. I have titled her speech, "Teach Children with Love and Wisdom" – because that's what she says.

 

Caveat: Four Months Cancer-Free

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Cancer / Quotable

This phrase, "cancer-free," as discussed [broken link! FIXME] last month, is just code for "no major tumors currently identified." We all have cancer, all the time.

I guess my health is much improved.

But now that the elation of living through the summer has passed, I'm more and more suffering from a kind of mild depression: life must go on, and at times it's just as frustrating and tedious and unfulfilling as before.

I had hoped I'd be eating normally by now. I'm not. When do I get to eat Indian food again? Kimchi? Cake? Burritos? Crackers?

I had hoped I'd be gung ho about work and taking on the challenges it presents, by now. I'm not. When do the major problems plaguing my workplace finally reach some kind resolution?

I had hoped I'd be plunging into some life-affirming project (i.e. my writing), to make better use of my remaining time on earth. I'm not. When will I finally have a reliable every-day writing habit?

This is the hard slog.

One. Step. At a time.

Kurt Vonnegut, in 2006, wrote back to a group of high school students. In part, he said:

Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting,
sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or
badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what's inside you, to make your soul grow.

What I'm listening to right now.

M83, "Wait."

Caveat: Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

I'm really not feeling  that great, so I took it easy today. I think it's more a kind of emotional frustration at how slowly my recovery feels like it's going.

So I sat around trying to read today, and then took a walk around the lake in a slight drizzle after dark fell.

What I'm listening to right now.

OneRepublic, "Counting Stars."

Lyrics:

(Chorus)
Lately I been, I been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Yeah, we'll be counting stars

(Verse)
I see this life
Like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
In my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and ye shall find

Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told

I feel something so right
By doing the wrong thing
And I feel something so wrong
By doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

(Chorus)
Lately I been, I been losing sleep (Hey!)
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Lately I been, I been losing sleep (Hey!)
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be counting stars

(Verse)
I feel the love
And I feel it burn
Down this river every turn
Hope is a four letter word
Make that money
Watch it burn

Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told

And I feel something so wrong
By doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that downs me makes me wanna fly

(Chorus)
Lately I been, I been losing sleep (Hey!)
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Lately I been, I been losing sleep (Hey!)
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be counting stars

(Bridge)
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

(Chorus)
Lately I been, I been losing sleep (Hey!)
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Lately I been, I been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I been, I been prayin' hard
Said no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be counting stars

(Outro)
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons I learned

[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]

Caveat: Political Fantasy, A-Dreamed

Banalities & Journaling / Life is a Dream

Despite my slight addiction to political blogs and world-events newsfeeds, my dreams rarely seem overtly (geo)political in nature. Last night, however, I had a dream that was a bit like watching a major world event unfold on the internet – or really, two world events happening in parallel. Further, they displayed an interesting symbolism vis-a-vis my status as a U.S. expat at this stage in my life.

In the dream, two major political events were unfolding at the same time.

On the one hand, in Korea, a rather sudden and almost entirely peaceful reunification was taking place, somewhat in the style of the German reunification of the early 1990's. The air was full of optimism, as Seoul's TV networks and reality shows were allowed to wander freely in Pyeongyang, while many, many North Korean economic migrants were welcomed with essentially open arms into the South, and Park Geun-hye and Kim Jong-eun made joint appearances at conferences, discussing a "uniquely Korean" federal solution to reunification.

It was all the stuff of political fantasy, of course – I find such a scenario incredibly unlikely, though I wouldn't put the statistical chances at exactly zero.

The contrast, however, was that just as this was unfolding in Korea, in the U.S. a civil war was beginning, as Tea Partiers and other right-wing mal-contents, unhappy with yet another loss at the never-ending game of legislative obstructionism, decided that it was time to "Live Free of Die," as the revolutionary New Hampshire flag would remind us. They began a series of targetted killings and terrorist acts, including assassinating several Democratic Senators, while the state of South Carolina once again announced it was seceding, in response to some federal intervention in the matter of voting rights and healthcare. The U.S. Army was mobilized (again) to do something about the secession, as Texas and Tennessee followed suit.

Once again, this is the stuff of political fantasy, and not necessarily likely.

What I found interesting psychologically was how this plays out as a kind of dream-representation of my expat status, or of the reasons behind it. I left the U.S., in part, in 2007, because of a sort of feeling that the U.S. polity had reached such a senescence as to make it "not worth trying" to make a life there "work" anymore. Obama's election in 2008 seemed to offer a sort of chance at redemption, but his subsequent political ineptitude (not to mention outright failure to keep promises) has only confirmed my initial judgment: these are the last days of the Roman Republic, and we should remember that the glories of Caesar were largely only Caesar's, and that the victors write history, in civil wars too.

Make of it what you will.

Happy Sunday.

Caveat: Just A Rainy Saturday

Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

Chilly, rainy autumn Saturdays like today are the reason I fight to stay alive.

Pictures from the walk to work and the walk home.

2013-11-02 09.49.16

2013-11-02 14.29.46

2013-11-02 14.31.26

2013-11-02 14.35.44

2013-11-02 14.42.51

What I'm listening to right now.

Lou Reed, "Perfect Day." Lou Reed passed away on Sunday.

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Every, every, everyday 내가 만든 History

Background Noise / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

The Korean group Exo-K sings in typical kpop style, mixing in tons of English to their lyrics. They also sing in Chinese (kpop is quite popular in China and how could the Korean music industry resist such a huge market?). I was curious if they mixed in English in the same way in the Chinese version – and in fact, they do.
What I’m listening to right now.

H0Exo-K, “History.”
가사:

Listen, 느낄 수 있니?
내 심장이 뛰지를 않아
(My heart be breakin’)
분한 마음에 울어도 보고,
소리 질러 “하!” 외쳐도 봤어
(My pain be creepin’)

흑과 백, 아직 남과 북,
끝이 나지 않는 전쟁 Scene
둘로 나뉜 태양의 절망
멀리 돌고 돌아서 다시 시작하는 곳에 다 왔어
오류투성이지만 배워가며 강해질 수 있는 나
저 태양처럼 거대한 하나란 걸 아는 날
오- 오- 모두 함께 가는 우리 미래로
I need you and you want me,
지구란 이 별에서 오오 오오
Every, every, everyday 내가 만든 History.
Break it! 욕망의 반칙 Move it! 파괴란 미덕
(No more shakin’ like that)
Magic 시간이 가면 또 씻은 듯이 다시 재생 돼
시공간을 뛰어 넘어서
에덴의 아침을 꿈꾸고 있어
가자! 우린 그런 존재
멀리 돌고 돌아서 다시 시작하는 곳에 다 왔어
오류투성이지만 배워가며 강해질 수 있는 나
저 태양처럼 거대한 하나란 걸 아는 날
오오 오오 모두 함께 가는 우리 미래로
I need you and you want me,
지구란 이 별에서 오오 오오
꿈을 잉태 하는 날 우린 다시 일어나
일어나, 일어나, 일어나 (turn it on)
일어나, 일어나, 일어나
영원할거라 믿고 싶을 때.
언젠가 할 거 라고 망설일 때
내일이 바로 끝인지도 몰라.
후회 같은 건 잊어버려 두려워마
제발 사랑해, 사랑해, 사랑해
조화로울수록 완벽하잖아
모든 슬픔이 기쁨이 여기에
나와 너는 한 생명인 걸
Ya! 우리가 원래 하나로 태어났던 순간,
갈수록 소모적인 이 세계를 만난 순간
우린 점점점멀어져가 점점
둘로 깨져버린 채 힘을 잃어버린 태양
갈수록, 갈수록, 갈수록, 갈수록 더
간절했던 꿈의 세계를 다시 마주하는 순간
내 가슴이 뛴다, 마구 뛴다. 둥 둥 둥 둥 둥 둥
돌고 돌아서 다시 시작하는 곳에 다 왔어
Yeah- EXO-M, EXO-K
우리가 시작하는 미래 History
저 태양처럼 거대한 하나란 걸 아는 날
Oh- 하나의 심장에, 태양에
끝없이 우린 하나로 강해지고 있어
I need you and you want me,
지구란 이 별에서 오오 오오
Every, every, everyday 내가 만든 History.
The Chinese version.

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