Caveat: Monomanias

There's a strange man who's goal is to visit every Starbucks in the world.  Unfortunately, with recent downsizing, it's become challenging for him to "catch up" to all the different locations before they close.  It's a moving target, as locations open and close much faster than he can get through the list.  He hasn't even tried South Korea, yet even in my time here I've seen both openings and closings of numerous Starbucks just within my small range of famaliar haunts. 

Well, anyway… I can kind of empathasize with his monomania, in some ways.   I've flirted with various monomanias of my own, but in general I've been too lazy to really fall into them.  I remember once I wanted to try to visit every single subway station in Mexico City, when I lived there.  And I think, at one point, I had done it… but then they've added 3 or 4 new lines since I lived there, so I would have to go back and visit more.  Once, I was thinking I could go visit subway stations in Seoul.  But I really haven't had the singelmindedness to do that.  My explorations tend to be less goal oriented, and more just a sort of drifting across the landscape.

Like a ghost.

Caveat: 바보!

pictureI am now officially a baboizer – Ellie sent me this candid photo, retouched some way or another using her cell phone. Note that “babo” in Korean is “fool” or “idiot.” I don’t actually ever call my students “babo” – or “idiot” for that matter. I get the impression from the pragmatics that babo is fairly mild in most social contexts, though it’s far from polite, obviously.
I other news, I tried to be like the Space Emperor BHO today – by killing a fly with a single hand in mid-air. I wasn’t successful. But I did it in two tries, against the wall. The kids reaction: “disgusting, teacher.”
Normally, I don’t bother voting in shareholder actions… I own enough different stocks that I get quite a few opportunities to vote one way or another on various things.  Everything’s electronic, of course, but I rarely feel sufficiently informed to bother voting one way or another.  But today, for the first time since coming to Korea, I voted: I gave a “for” vote in the action for Sun Microsystems to merge with Oracle. Not that I think it makes much of a difference, but it was empowering to feel as if I had an opinion worth having and to be able to act on it, whether an accurate one or not. If the merger goes through at the declared price, I will more-or-less break even on my Sun investment. And we shall see if Oracle is able to make the merged result profitable or not.
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Caveat: Threading… Computers vs Kids

When I check under XP, my computer is running about 300 threads at idle (that is, no programs running).  Does an O/S really need that many threads?  When I boot under Windows Server 2003, I find 500 threads at idle.  And when it's running under Vista, the number is almost 800 threads. 

Obviously, Vista works a lot harder to do the same amount of nothing.  No wonder my laptop crashes sometimes when I ask it to boot to Vista… it's saying "please, no, I'm tired!"  Just like when I ask my students to do more homework?

A few months back, I said goodbye to Ubuntu.  But now I'm reconsidering.  Vista is getting on my nerves, again.  Nevertheless, I had a major insight, yesterday, at work, as I was trying to do something (anything!) constructive with the new install of Microsoft Office 2007 (or some recent year).  It doesn't help, obviously, that I'm stuck with the Korean language version at work, and that it doesn't let you switch to English.  But why is it that every time Microsoft upgrades something, they change all the keyboard shortcuts?  Do they think that no one uses them?  I really despise relying on my mouse to get things done, and since I'm working with the Korean version, figuring out the keyboard shortcuts basically boils down to randomly pressing keys and collecting data on what it does. 

Oh, so, what was I talking about?  My major insight…  I prefer teaching to working with computers for one very simple reason:   computers always make me feel stupid, and kids at least sometimes make me feel smart.  There's nothing complicated about that.

Caveat: Do the multicultural…

We have had "multiculturalism" as our debate topic the last few weeks.  Specifically, multiculturalism as an emerging social phenomenon (very peripheral, so far) in Korea.  I actually have some thoughts and observations at a fairly serious level about this idea, but I'll save that for a later, more coherent post.

For the moment, it's interesting seeing the Korean kids trying to make sense of it.  One of my favorite quotes comes from Kevin, who says, "if we do the multicultural, then Korean men can be happy."

I think Kevin is referring to the fact that many Korean men, these days, have been in essence "importing" brides from Southeast Asian countries – enough so that it's becoming a "problem" the government has been trying to address.  But the way Kevin writes about it makes it sound like it's some kind of weird dance.

"Hey, everybody!  Let's do the multicultural!"

Caveat: No plot

pictureI woke from a strange dream this morning. It was plotless… sometimes that happens. This was almost like some sort of abstract conceptual film; but  it had a visual esthetic drawn from Architectural Digest magazine, maybe. I was in a building. Looking for someone, maybe. It was drawing heavily on the Folwell Hall archetype in my brain (that building being the place where I have spent the most time at my erstwhile academic home, University of Minnesota – see picture).
The interior wasn’t quite right, though.  It was as if the building had been converted into million-dollar yuppie condos. Actually, that might be kind of cool. There were a lot of open, loft-y spaces inside, and then there was a hanging rope suspension bridge between two modernist-looking living rooms.  Finally, I worked my way up to a top floor, and went up a spiral staircase. And through a door, and up a last flight… to find myself on a vast wooden deck.
The deck had no rails, and looking beyond, it was on open, unsullied prairie. No other buildings. No trees. It was at ground level – the Folwell Hall I’d been exploring was underground. The was a strong wind; the grasses swayed.  It was like standing at a rest area in North Dakota. I turned around to go back downstairs.  There was a man selling Korean dalk-kkochi (skewer chicken) from a stand by the doorway where I’d emerged. Other than that, it was utterly lonely and isolated.
That was the dream. Nothing more. As I said, no real plot. The images were quite vivid and strong, though.
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Caveat: Strange Busyness

I had a strange day full of small things, nothing quite routine.
I went to a movie in a theater for the first time in more than year. It was a treat for some stellar students that Peter-teacher engineered, and he invited me along. It was fun, and mindless. Here’s a picture of Willy, standing in a statue, saying “no,” afterward.
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And also, I took a picture of a movie star we apparently saw. A Korean, of course. Not someone I recognized. And… of the various random figures in the picture, I have no idea who the actual movie star is.
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I went to work, and ate an actual sit-down meal with some coworkers at the place-of-work (as opposed to off campus at a restaurant), for the first time since I used to work at LinguaForum. That was fun, too, listening to them talk in Korean, understanding some of what they said, even.
I went to a wedding of a (former) coworker, Niki. But not a single other coworker that I knew was there, and I felt very isolated and out-of-place. That wasn’t so fun.  I fled.
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I sat in a cafe and wrote some notes for my “If I ran the hagwon.”
I met Basil, and we went to Insadong and he went to a Buddhist temple gift shop. He was shopping for trinkets, I guess. I have a hard time completely relating to that. I also find the idea of “Buddhist consumerism” strangely uncomfortable, the same way I find overtly Christian consumerism. There’s some kind of disconnect between dogma and action, maybe. The temple neighborhood is full of stores selling Buddhist and “monk” paraphernalia.
We went to some bookstores, but I bought no books. That’s not my routine, either.
We went to a vegetarian restaurant. The food was good. I liked it. I daydreamed of someday becoming a vegetarian (as opposed to my current 5-days-a-week vegetarianism, I guess).
At the subway station, the train was stalled, because an old man had fallen into the tracks and had been hit by the train. A gruesome prospect… Basil was fascinated and had to go look. I walked the other way. We ended up separated and I went back home.
My computer pissed me off by crashing as I started it up, when I got home. What’s with Vista, anyhow? God I hate it.
Overall, it was a good day, though.
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Caveat: 분노폭발

We have this newish thing at work, where we’re having the more advanced students post their typewritten writing assignments online, on a collaboration server that we’ve long used for posting work-related stuff. This is the wave of the future (or rather, of the recent past, really) – things like this are pretty much the standard in business, both in the US and Korea, nowadays. I think the parents appreciate it, since it’s not necessarily something the students at that grade level (4th~6th mostly) are being taught in public schools, nor even at their “math/science” academies, which focus almost exclusively on test prep. It gives them a small taste of how “grownups” need to be able to work with documents, computers, and the internet.
pictureAs can be expected, however, the student-destined collaboration directories fill up with some peculiar junk: weirdly named (and unnamed) documents in a hundred different (“I didn’t even know that was a format”) formats, etc. And today, in my Eldorado 2 class’ directory, I found a JPG picture of an enraged cartoon baby, with the quote “분노폭발” (see picture).
Is a student expressing frustration?  I have no idea who put it there – someone in that class, presumeably. Or just sharing something they thought funny? Or not having intended sharing it at all, maybe?
Anyway.
 

Notes for Korean
 변경 = change, modification (webpage context)
바람둥이 = playboy-type-guy, “playa” or don juan, braggart, boaster
철학 = philosophy
철학적인 = philosophical (I think?)
느끼다 = feel, experience, respond to (a stimulus)
폭발적 = tremendous popularity, population explosion
돌발영상 = spontaneous (unposed, candid) pictures
분노폭발 = explosion of wrath (see picture)

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Caveat: Advanced Stupidity

"Any sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice."  This is a corollary of Clarke's law, I guess.  I think I stumbled across it while surfing tvtropes, as I seem to do rather regularly.  It's a pop-culturally-inclined semiotician's goldmine.

Caveat: 63

I finally went to visit the “63 building” over the weekend, on Sunday. It’s the tallest skyscraper in Seoul. It has 60 floors. The name “63” is because it has three levels of basement, too, making a total of 63 levels. It’s a shiny coppery-colored building right on the Han River. Here is a picture I took looking straight north from the building toward the old part of the city, in the distance in the notch between the mountains. Yongsan is in the right center, and the Mapo area is in the left center. And in the foreground is the wide Hangang.
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Caveat: A chaotic scattering of thoughts

I keep a collection of "blog ideas" that I go to when I can't think of something to write.  But the list has been growing unmanageable, and most of these ideas seem destined to never go anywhere.  So I'll throw a few of them out here.   Random quotes and observations, I guess.  

1.  "Juche is the opaque core of North Korean national solipsism."– Bruce Cumings quoted by Philip Gourevitch in the Guardian, 2003-11-2.   "National solipsism" has a nice ring, even as applied to the comparatively cosmopolitan south.  

2.  I wonder about this weird convergence of history, such that for the first time in 2 generations, the U.S. has a government farther to the left than either of its two main neighbors, Canada and Mexico. Currently the PANistas are running Mexico and appear to be closing in on a new party monopoly to replace the 70 year-long reign of the vaguely leftist PRI (at least, the PRI was rhetorically and theoretically leftist, if not always in practice), and the PAN is arguably farther right than even the US's Republicans, at least in traditional measures of conservatism. And the Conservatives are running Canada, under Harper.  See also… Ignatieff v Grant (his uncle, the red tory)

3.  "omgomg! my fans rock! the movie is doing great you guys! omg AND its all cause of you!!!! I LOVE U ALL! IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET CHECK IT!," — Miley Cyrus, on the success of her new movie Hannah Montana (via Twitter).   I'm glad I'm still not on the Twitter bandwagon.  But, who knows… 

4.  "Crazy moms make crazy kids." — me, on the sometimes fraught interactions teachers must have with parents.

5.   Mixotricha paradoxa… In addition it has spherical bacteria inside the cell; these endosymbionts function as mitochondria, which Mixotricha lacks.   I knew that current theory says that mitochondria and chloroplasts arose as endosymbionts… but for some reason, I found this "halfway" adaptation that I discovered surfing wikipedia randomly one night rather fascinating.

6.  Quotes from the TV series "Dead Like Me":  "He's as dumb as a bag of hammers." — the character Dolores; and "Death is the one thing that always happens right on time." — the character George

7.  Another reason why Rush Limbaugh lacks credibility:  "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society" — Rush Limbaugh, Aug 12, 2005.  

8.  El Kabong was just a persona of Quick Draw McGraw's.   I didn't know that!

9.  "There's a buzz to failing and not dying" — Stephen Colbert.  True.

Caveat: an antisocial consumer of social spaces

My latest epithet for myself:   I am "an antisocial consumer of social spaces."  Basically, that seems like it might just be a fancy way of saying I'm a people-watching nerd.  But… whatever. 

 

Notes for Korean
담임 = charge, duty, homeroom teacher
실지견학= fieldtrip, practicum
견학= observation, inspection (learning by~)
실지=practice, reality, actuality
so, that means a "fieldtrip" is, in fact, a "reality inspection" — nice.
이런=such, such…as, like this
유령=ghost, specter, phantom
유령학생="ghost student" i.e. "unknown student #10" in the school's database:  유령학생10

 

Caveat: 이안의 돌

My coworker Sean was celebrating his son Ian’s first birthday.  The first birthday is called 돌 (dol);  it’s a big deal in Korean culture, and is generally held in a catered location with entertainment, food, millions of relatives.  Rather like a wedding reception in the U.S., for example.  I went to Ian’s event, and sat around and ate hweh (raw fish) and fruit and people watched and chatted with Peter and Sarah (who were only other Lbridgists to show up).   It was mildly entertaining.  Sean is moving back to Guam (he’s Korean-Guamanian, I guess you might call it), but with the intention of leveraging his US citizenship into an Air Force career, apparently.  I wish him luck.  He has a family to support, and hagwon work doesn’t pay so hot… it’s understandable.
I walked home from where it was near Tanhyeonyeok (and the SBS studios out thattaway) with Peter.  We chatted about aimless walking and aimless roadtripping, which seems to be a trait we share.  It was fun.

Caveat: Argh, sycophancy

I was out at dinner with teams "D" and "C," along with the campus bosses, after work the other night.  One of those obligatory "let's all get drunk and pontificate and expiate ourselves at each other" that drives the Korean business environment, English-language schools included. 

And I began feeling really angry.  It was mostly at a certain brand-new coworker.  Speaking English, so I was comprehending… I would probably have felt the same sort of anger at the others, but they were mostly sticking to speaking Korean, and that made the pontifications inpenetrable, though still self-evidently pontifications, nevertheless.

The internal mantra that kept me quiet and inscrutable throughout the social experience was:  "If I've nothing good to say, I will say nothing."  But the speech-to-new-coworker that I kept reformulating through most of the second half of the evening was something along these lines:

You've only been at LBridge for less than a week.  What the hell do you know?  I've had more than 30 bosses in my life, including work in fortune 500 companies, non-profits, factories and union work, the US Army, mom-and-pop businesses, and more.  And beyond any doubt, our campus manager, this person whom you sycophantically are right now praising up, down and sideways, is the absolute worst manager I've ever had.

This job has other redeeming features, including the super-smart children, as well as Sarah's amazingly competent (if not always user-friendly) efforts at keeping a well-structured curriculum.  Please don't misunderstand me — our boss is not a bad person!  His heart may even be in the right place, although he seems to me to be stunningly superficial and unreflective, like the worst caricatures of G.W. Bush.

But as far as basic management skills are concerned…  as far as "caring for and mentoring" one's employees is concerned…  as far as showing consistency and business acumen is concerned…  well, forget it.  It ain't there.  And don't try to say that I'm applying "western" standards.  I had several Korean bosses before the current one, and although all of them annoyed me at one point or another, I would never have declared any of them to be fundamentally incompetent.

That was the "angry" speech.  I never said it.  All's the better.  But since then, I've also spent time composing another, much less scrutable statement.  I've managed to avoid uttering that one, too, but I relish playing it out in my head — if only because I would love to see the gears turning in this new person's head as my intended meaning becomes clear:

In North American mainstream culture, respect is something that is earned, and that can be lost, too.  In Korean traditional business culture, respect is due to one's superior regardless of merit.  I am trapped between cultures.

But I've managed to just stay quiet.  Except, now, this totally says-it-all internet post.  Hah.  So far, no one at my current job has shown any ability whatsoever to use the outside-of-Korea internets to find things out about me or anything else in the entire universe.  A lack of curiosity?  A lack of ability?  Korea manages to remain insular despite 100% internet connectivity, through a combination of walled-garden-variety internet portals and simple linguistic and cultural naivety.

And do I really give a damn, at this point, if they find these, my rantings?  Seems that I don't.

Caveat: Browser Skirmishes

I keep hoping I can find an alternative to Internet Explorer that allows me to navigate my work-based websites (which are Korean designed and based).  I'm not sure why… I don't necessarily have anything against Microsoft, at least with respect to their browser, in particular.  I guess I just like to keep my options open.

But the Korean-based websites are stunningly Microsoft-dependent.  Last night, I had a moment of elation when, messing around with my laptop at home, I downloaded and installed the latest Opera browser.  I went to my work website, successfully logged in, and saw normal-looking Korean hangeul writing instead of gobbledygook, which is what I get in both Google Chrome and Firefox.  Nevertheless, the work website was useless because the ActiveX embedded site-navigation widget that appears on the left hand side (which, in fact, loads in Firefox successfully) failed to load in Opera.  Net result:  a gain in one area (flash-based rendering of Korean characters) was offset by a loss in another (navigation widget broken).  Ultimately, I'm still married to Internet  Explorer.

I like the Opera interface, though.  I may end up spending some time with it.

Caveat: GM in bankruptcy, stockmarket soars

GM declared bankruptcy, and the Dow soared.  What does that mean?  At first,  I thought it was because GM was removed from the Dow, but in fact, that changeover doesn't actually happen until June 8, if you read the fine print in the financial press.  So Monday's soaring Dow is still home to now officially mostly worthless GM stock.  

I guess the traditional analysis would be that the market had already "priced" the GM bankruptcy, and therefore it didn't really impact the Dow's reaction to other news and issues.  It's also indicative of the extent to which cars, and heavy industrial production in general, are no longer core to the US and/or global economies.  In the Dow, GM is being replaced by Cisco.  Tech conglomerates are the new blue-chips.

One article I read was quoting criticisms of the US government's managing of the auto industry's collapse, including, specifically, a complaint that the government was "giving" Chrysler to a foreign auto company (Fiat) rather than merging it with GM.  The reason why Chrysler cannot be merged with GM is because of union resistance:  a merged 2-out-of-big-3 would introduce economies of scale that would result in further plant closures and layoffs, which the UAW obviously cannot favor.  I agree with that.   But on the other hand, I think merging Chrysler with Fiat is possibly smart for a reason that wasn't mentioned:  European automakers have a better chance at navigating the US's new "socialist" regulatory and government-owned and union-owned industrial landscape… they've been doing it successfully in Europe for decades, right?  What we're seeing, in other words, is a Europeanization of the US auto industry. 

Caveat: El Túnel

pictureHe estado leyendo la novela de Sabato, El Túnel. Encontré el libro hace medio año en un estante mal mantenido el librería 교보문고.  Hace mucho tiempo que me dedico a leer una novela en español, y me está gustando. De estilo policiaco, tiene un sabor kafkaesco, o tal vez me hace recordar los excelentes del polacoargentino, Gombrowicz.
El viernes pasado, habiendo podido salir del trabajo temprano a causa de que fuera el fin del trimestre, fui a Seul para devagar, como es mi hábito. Y de repente sentí que había perdido el librito. Me gusta leer libros en español cuando me meto en el metro, por el gusto de confundir a los locales en cuanto se den cuenta de que no es el inglés que esté leyendo. Tantos coreanos padecen una miopía respecto los idiomas occidentales: que sólo existe una lengua del ”alfabeto inglés.”
No podía encontrar el librito en ningún lado. Me puse triste. Pero hoy, preparando otra salida, para ir a algún Starbucks con la intencionada de estudiar, de repente ahí estaba el libro. Me alegró. Acabé con casi 20 páginas en el metro, esta tarde.
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Caveat: Best Class

This has been my best class so far. All smart. All interested. Almost all the time. Awesome kids: Ellen, Candy, Eunice (she came back!), Helen, Anastasia, Sydney, Steven.
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Caveat: Different Priorities

The small cultural differences are sometimes the most striking.  Take the question of what's considered publicly embarrassing. 

God forbid a woman be caught smoking by a male colleague or stranger in public.  Korean women who smoke go to great lengths to hide the fact that they smoke, and every building has a secret balcony or hidden rooftop space where these shameful women ply their vice, while Korean men smoke nonchalantly anywhere they damn well please.  

Meanwhile, I passed not one but two women casually seated on busy sidewalk benches at different spots, indelicately cleaning the gunk out from between their toes.

Notes for Korean
콩국수 = cold noodles and soybean  soup
부터 = from, when
cf. 나를 선생님으로부터 보호하세요 = protect me from the teacher (a student sample sentence)
차지하다= seize, take possession of, make something one's own
편리한 =  convenient
적 = [this is some kind of mystery particle… I see it all the time, attached to substantives and followed by the copula… not sure how it works.  one dictionary meaning that might fit:  "occasion, time, experience" but I'm not sure that's right]
example:
구체 = the property of concreteness
구체적인 = concrete (adjectival meaning, i.e. having the property of concreteness)

Caveat: Proliferation Security Initiative

According to various news sources (e.g. The Korea Herald, The Australian), South Korea's response yesterday to the North Korean nuclear test has been to finally get around to joining the US's "Proliferation Security Initiative."

This was particularly interesting to me, because of an incident in one of my most advanced debate classes about a month ago.   We have these "newspapers" (they have current events packaged for ESL learners, produced by a domestic Korean publishing house) that always have a current debate topic in their pages.  I really like pulling our in-class debate topics from these newspapers, because they are always topics that are immediately relevant to South Koreans, being policy issues that are under discussion by the government.  I can urge the kids to consider that they are learning not just English, but something along the lines of a South Korean civics class.  This provides at least some of them with some additional motivation, and because the topics are prominent in the South Korean media, it also makes them easy to research, even if they are often conceptually quite difficult.

 Last month, the newspaper had as its debate topic the question as to whether South Korea should fully join the US's Proliferation Security Initiative.   I didn't know much about it, and I didn't put too much time into researching it, myself.  I read the article, gave it some thought, and it seemed like a pretty uncontroversial thing, to me.  I understood South Korea's ambivalence, about it, however, given the always fraught nature of its relationship with its northern neighbor — North Korea had basically said that it would view South Korea joining this treaty as a "declaration of war."  Huh… right.

I tend to avoid stating my personal opinion on these debate topics until after the debate is finished, so as not to bias the students' take on them.  But I'd formed in my mind that joining PSI would probably be OK.  Until Sally's discussion of it.

Sally is a sharp sixth grader.  A bit of a prodigy, in some ways, excellent with these civics and social studies type concepts.  I have joked that she's going to be a lawyer, some day.  Anyway, we were beginning our discussion of this Proliferation Security Initiative, and she begins, quite simply:  "I read about it, and I think it's illegal."  My jaw dropped open.  "Uh… That's not what the newspaper said," I was thinking to myself.

But she went on to explain that it involved arbitrary search and seizure in international waters, and that it basically boiled down to a form of international racial profiling of ships-at-sea.  Not using this kind of vocabulary — she's not THAT good — but she did a perfectly adequate job of making these ideas clear using simpler vocabulary.  And I was just stunned, even recognizing that she was probably basing this on something she'd found on a Korean opinion website of some kind.  Because here was a 6th grader, lecturing me on international law.   She'd managed to internalize the arguments, and it was clearly not just parroting but that she understood the significance of them.  I was so impressed.

Sure enough, when you look at Wikipedia on the topic of PSI, you find that it was another one of those dubious cowboy-internationalist undertakings of John Bolton, former UN Ambassador under President Bush.  Given that pedigree, how could it NOT be illegal?  I bonked my forehead and went "d'oh!"  And, because of Sally, I changed my mind about South Korea joining the Proliferation Security Initiative.

Now, it becomes moot (note to self:  now is the time to explain the meaning of the word "moot" to Sally's class — we can revisit PSI for 5 minutes in light of the news).    South Korea has gone and jumped into it, anyway, in reaction to the North's intemperance.  Ah, well…

Caveat: The Space Emperor, Drawn to the Dark Side

Our future Space Emperor, BHO, is clearly not afraid to disappoint his fans. Whether this represents cynicism or realpolitik, I find hard to judge. I really, really enjoyed Maureen Dowd’s recent mocking of the situation vis-a-vis Cheney: “Dick twinkles. ‘Yes, we can.'”
pictureIn other news, I collected all my retired (read, broken) plastic alligators and brought them to class today, because this is the last week of the Spring term. Here is a picture after the Eldorado2 kids had arranged them.
Notes for Korean

야경= night view
-스럽다 = to seem like
사랑스러운 = love-like ~ “lovely”
올리다=raise up, [and many other meanings, maybe “begin”?]

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Caveat: Scooter

It seems I see more and more of these tricked out scooters. Scooters are everywhere, and always have been. But lately, there seems to be this influx of some kind of European or Japanese style high-end scooters. I saw a “Hello Kitty” themed pink scooter with a trendy-looking woman riding it, walking home from work the other night. And this thing was in the parking lot a block away, the other day.
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Caveat: The Land of the Morning Suicide

So many people commit suicide in Korea.  They have a very high rate.  And famous people keep setting the example.  Today, it was the humuliated and profoundly unsuccessful former president, 노무현.  I'm of the personal opinion that he was at least somewhat better than the current president… that's largely due to ideological issues.  That there was corruption and gross incompetence in Roh's administration is undeniable.  But he entered politics as a human rights lawyer and activist, and I really feel that his intentions were genuine.  Somehow, I'm inclined to "read" his suicide as a confirmation of that.  Truly corrupt people (compunctionless types) feel no shame.  And no shame means no suicide.  The truly corrupt go and lurk in a fog of false righteousness.   But suicide is easy to "romanticize."  It can be manipulative, too.  So… who knows.

He threw himself off a cliff near his home village.  He left a note — no ambiguity.  He'd been in the midst of being investigated (or prosecuted?) for corruption charges.  I guess he just didn't want to deal with it anymore.

Caveat: Alas, Robuckle

It was a pretty rough week.  Not so much in the quantity of work, but in the ups and downs of the affective environment at LBridge.  There was the announcement, mid-week, that there will be layoffs, campus closings, etc.  Though not impacting me directly, obviously the mood in the staff room has taken a beating.  And today the rumors began to surface that teaching loads would be way up, next term.  Which is logical, but no more welcome, for all that. 

And there were deprecatory things muttered about "speaking teachers" (code for E2 visa-holding teachers as opposed to "natives") who have "easier jobs."  While I disagree with that, with regard to class load, I do acknowledge that not having to interact with the parents, as is required of the native teachers, definitely makes things a little bit easier.  I see how they struggle and suffer with the constant shifts in mood and policy (oh, there's a policy?), and of course, lack-of-support, on the part of management. 

But the thing that has me most depressed is the situation of a student of mine.  Not just mine… she's been in the Eldorado-ban (level) for a good portion of my time here.  Her English name, self-selected, is Clover.  I actually really have enjoyed having her in my class.  She's not a great intellect, and her English skills are spotty.  She's not a hardcore studier, and she's often moody.  She can be easily discouraged, and is too often comparing herself unfavorably to her peers.  The competition gets her down.  But… she could be a lot of fun, too.

One day, a month or two ago, I came in, and she announced, "today, I am Robuckle."  I said, "that's an interesting name.  I like it."  But I wanted to know where it came from.  She managed to explain, after jumping up to the board and drawing it out in Korean hangeul, that it was the consequence of playing a common language-game with the hangeulized version of "Clover."  This, of course, enchanted me – everyone, including my students, know about my love for all sorts of language games.

Here's how it works.  If you write "Clover" in Korean syllables, it comes to keul-lo-beo (클로버).  Then, according the rules of the language game, you put the first syllable last.  That gives lo-beo-keul (로버클).  But now the leading /L/ has been un-twinned, so it gets to become an /R/, according to standard Korean phonology.  That gives ro-beo-keul.  Finally, you un-hangeulize it back to something close to English phonology, and it sounds like "Robuckle."  Fabulous!

Clover enjoyed having made me so happy with such a silly thing.  So I enthusiastically endorsed the renaming of Clover as Robuckle.

Robuckle went back to being Clover a few weeks later, but after that, I always would grin to myself whenever I was scoring a paper of Robuckle's, or entering a grade, or whatever.  I'm easily and eccentrically pleased, I guess.

Anyway.  Clover's grades have been dropping quite a bit, of late.  And she got a terrible score on the speaking final speech.  She complained (via her mom, conveyed to the homeroom teacher, conveyed to me) that I had scored her unfairly.  And she became grumpy and taciturn in class.  Which of course caused her subsequent scores on things to drop, too.  I asked her, several times, to bring me the scoring sheet I had given her for the speaking final – I was open to renegotiating the score, or, even, letting her have another go at it.  But she was more interested in being angry about it.  She finally told me her mom "threw it away" (meaning the scoring paper), to get me to leave her alone about renegotiating the grade.

The other day, she apparently complained to her mom that she "hated" all of her teachers at LBridge.  Which is fine.  Such complaining is the god-given right of every adolescent.  But she alleged that we all hated her, too, and that we were unfair to her.  Such complaints come from children everywhere, all the time.  But the problem in the hagwon biz, where the parents are the paying customers… well, you can imagine: I've written about this dilemma at least once before.  The management is just as likely to side with the kid as with the teachers, especially if the kid in question is being unequivocably backed by his or her parent.

The outcome of this is that Clover's homeroom teacher got a dressing-down today by the manager, for not intercepting Clover's problems, and for being unfair, and for not mediating her perceptions of unfairness of her other teachers, such as myself.  And that left Clover's homeroom teacher pissed as hell, naturally.  At Clover.  At Clover's mom.  At the manager.  And Clover is, most likely, dropping out.  And Clover's sister, a star pupil across the street at the middle-school branch, is being pulled, also.  Officially, it's all the fault of us teachers. 

You see how this works?  It's depressing.

And despite all that, I'll miss Clover, too.  Her unkempt hair, her occasional wry grin, her sullen slouch, that baseball cap permanently affixed to her head, her flashes of real intelligence shining through the murk of atrocious syntax.

Alas, Robuckle.

Caveat: Evocations

It's weird how bits of music get attached to particular memories, and most significantly, for me, to specific texts.  It's not always a matter of, "that's what I was listening to when I read X."  Of course, sometimes it is, too.  Peter Gabriel's track "Mercy Street" was playing as I read the concluding paragraphs of Cien Años de Soledad, and whenever I hear that song, I inevitably think of that book.  More broadly, Cat Stevens' Tea for the Tillerman album will always, strangely, connect with LeGuin's Earthsea novels, because that album was on heavy rotation when I read those novels way back in junior high.  Tracks of New Order and Depeche Mode moodily — appropriately, perhaps — evoke Dostoyevsky and Nietzsche, as I had those on my playlist (at that time a cassette-playing walkman clone of some kind) when I was reading those very "heavy" books during my complex, often very depressed time serving in the US Army, and stationed at Camp Edwards in Paju, Korea.

Perhaps more peculiar are the connections between Kraftwerk or the Psychadelic Furs and Shakespeare and Melville.  But such connections are really solid, because altogether they represent my second year in college, when I was flirting with being an English major.  Still other evocations are downright bizarre, and less direct.  I almost always think of Jose Donoso when I hear Silvio Rodriguez's Playa Giron album, but the connection is basically because of the song "Santiago," which connects on subject matter to my 1994 visit (a winter week in August — Southern Hemisphere, remember?) in Santiago.  I was reading Donoso, despite the fact that I didn't have any kind of sound track with me at the time.

Perhaps the strangest evocation hit me today, as I was walking to work in the pouring rain.  Arlo Guthrie's "City of New Orleans" played on my MP3, and I thought of Ayn Rand.  That's just plain crazy… but it happens every single time.  I also tend to think about the murals of Diego Rivera.  The connection is actually rather abstract – it's not like I was listening to Arlo Guthrie as I read Atlas Shrugged, all those years ago when I was living in Mexico City.  I think it's got to do with the sort of populist (anti-intellectualist?) "exaltation of the hard-working craftsman" that thematically unifies those artists, despite their stunning ideological differences.

Caveat: Thanks, Evolution

“Evolution is good at getting us to avoid death, desperation and celibacy, but it’s not that good at getting us to feel happy,” – Dr Geoffrey Miller, quoted in the New York Times May 18, 2009.

Notes for Korean
한국어를 잘 못 해서 죄송해요 = I'm sorry I can't speak Korean well
동경 = donggyeong, means Tokyo (literally, "eastern capital", thus it's a translation of the name, rather than a transliteration… interesting, I saw it in an advertisement)

바탕=background

Caveat: Apocalypse hagwon

The first hagwon (a Korean for-profit, after-school academy – think "night school for elementary kids") that I worked for was called Tomorrow School.  I was under the impression that it was pretty successful, but it was a small, single-location, "mom and pop" business.  The owners, Danny and Diana, showed either a lot of market savvy or else had a lot of luck in selling it when they did – basically, they jumped out at the top of the market, as far as I can tell.  So, after my first four months, Tomorrow School was purchased by a rapidly growing chain of hagwon being built by LinguaForum corporation.

LinguaForum was not, originally, a hagwon business but rather a significant publishing house of language-teaching materials.  I had the somewhat vague impression that they were building the chain of hagwon mostly to function as a sort of "lab school" environment in which to develop, test and promote their textbooks and teaching materials.  In that respect, I liked them, because they showed a great deal of methodological sophistication in terms of their higher-level curriculum design and intentions.  But they were new to the hagwon business, and their on-the-ground execution was pretty weak.  I don't think they had a clue how to actually manage, capitalize, and compete in Korea's private after-school-academy market.

So, after taking on too much debt by growing too fast (mostly through acquisitions of mom and pop single-location hagwon like Tomorrow School), LinguaForum decided to abandon the field.  They tried to arrange some kind of complex cross-investing relationship with LBridge company, which was a successful and growing but well-established local player in the Ilsan area hagwon market.  I'm under the impression that more than one of the terms of the deal fell through, and neither LBridge nor LinguaForum were happy with the outcome.

Nevertheless, the consequence was that last July, LBridge acquired my contract from LinguaForum.  Unfortunately, management flat-footedness (in the form of no small amount of arrogance, among other things) meant that although the LinguaForum hagwon chain ceased to exist (the parent publishing house remains), only about half the teachers and barely 10% of the student body tranferred over.  I have the unconfirmed suspicion that the failed deal was bad, financially, for LBridge.

All of that, combined with the slumping economy (although, as I've mentioned before, South Korea, relative to other OECD countries, is doing quite well) and an intensely competitive hagwon business environment with lots of consolidation, cutthroat student poaching, etc., means that LBridge now finds itself it somewhat dire straits.  Yesterday, it was announced to staff that there will be layoffs, campus closings, and shrinking teaching "teams" in the coming Summer term.  I don't think I'm directly affected… my current understanding is that they're going to let my contract run out as written to the end of August.  But end-of-contract "bonuses" are imperiled, apparently, and Korean staff (i.e. those who are working here as Korean citizens rather than under work visas, regardless of native language) are deeply and justifiably concerned about job security. 

Enrollments have definitely been shrinking.  There have been lots of complaints about the difficulty of the curriculum – yet, last fall, there were complaints about the lightness of it.  To keep changing the curriculum in response to the tides of parental sentiment is a little bit of an unwinnable battle.  You've got to adopt a curriculum and methodology, and stick with it.  LBridge definitely has proven poor at this. 

Mostly, however, it seems to me that success in the hagwon biz is about building and managing relationships with kids and, of course, parents.  And my gut feeling is that LBridge is TERRIBLE at this.   Unlike Tomorrow School or LinguaForum, LBridge leaves the major portion of the parent-relationship-management problem to the front-line teachers.  While philosophically this may be a good idea, the fact that the management provides precisely zero training or support to the teachers who they throw into this role means that LBridge sets itself up for failure.  The fact is that they basically treat their staff like wage-slaves rather than professionals (i.e. things like a lack of respect, a distrust of teachers' abilities to manage their own time, etc.), yet they think they're being clever by having their front-line people be the ones in charge of interacting with parents.   You can see the mistake, here, I think.  The parents, after all, are the paying customers.  You don't want disgruntled and untrained staff being the ones who manage your customer relationships.

To connect this crisis to a business I know fairly well, it is like those tech companies that rely on their technical people to manage customer relationships.  This, as we all know, rarely works.  You need customer-relationship-management specialists – commonly known as salespeople.  That's how for-profit business works.  Far be it from me to parrot the likes of the Harvard Business Review, but it seems to me self-evident that in successful companies, intelligent and hard-working salespeople and marketers drive quality and innovation, and then the technical people make it happen behind the scenes, where they can murmur and grumble to their hearts' content.  In the hagwon biz, that means having dedicated "parent-relationship-management" specialists, I think. 

Danny, the owner of the Tomorrow School, understood this intuitively:  he did almost nothing but focus on interacting with the parents, as far as I could tell, leaving the day-to-day management of his business to his wife Diana, and the classroom execution was left to the teachers from whom he expected a great deal of self-reliance and innovation (which is to say that, despite my complaints at the time – see my blog from a year and a half ago – he actually treated his workers more professionally than I've seen at LBridge… we always see things more clearly in retrospect, right?). 

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