Caveat: Think, everyone

My fifth-grade student who goes by Clara wrote about political economy in her essay book yesterday. I haven't corrected her errors – she's a fairly low level of ability but her meaning is clear. As usual, I type this exactly as written, not correcting grammar or spelling mistakes.

Hello my name is clara. Today I talk about rich pay much more taxes than usuall people today. The first reason is "who have much more money." Think, everyone. Usuall people have much more money? "No." Yes, no is right. Why? Rich dad gives money to his son. Then, Rich dad's son, son's son, that son's son… sons are rich. Usuall people same to rich? No! that is rich pay taxes. thank you.

Caveat: Be all my sins remembered

I have been forcing my most advanced class to read poetry. They're not really that into it, and I know it's hard. I make them read it out loud – not like memorized, but with practiced semi-dramatic readings and presentations.

I believe it's a good way to teach them to think about and internalize the cadences and intonations of English – and intonation and cadence are major issues with these kids – more so than vocabulary or grammar or even word-for-word pronunciation. So that's the plan. Who knows if it really works. And Hamlet's soliloquy is pretty ambitious, I realize. We spent a full class discussing obsolete vocabulary and context. They were interested in that. Then each of them read it for me.

The sound quality is poor – for which I have to apologize. Their voice quality is better than the video might suggest. The camera's mic is good, but the hagwon is noisy and the walls are thin. It's hard to get the sound only from the talking student. I need to invest in a stand mic maybe.

The text:

To be, or not to be–that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep–
No more–and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep–
To sleep–perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. — Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia! — Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

– Hamlet, Act III, scene i.

Caveat: Tennyson

By An Evolutionist

The Lord let the house of a brute to the soul of a man,
And the man said, ‘Am I your debtor?’
And the Lord-‘Not yet; but make it as clean as you can,
And then I will let you a better.’

I.
If my body come from brutes, my soul uncertain or a fable,
Why not bask amid the senses while the sun of morning shines,
I, the finer brute rejoicing in my hounds, and in my stable,
Youth and health, and birth and wealth, and choice of women and of wines?

II.
What hast thou done for me, grim Old Age,
save breaking my bones on the rack?
Would I had past in the morning that looks so bright from afar!

OLD AGE

Done for thee? starved the wild beast that was linkt with thee eighty years back.
Less weight now for the ladder-of-heaven that hangs on a star.

I.
If my body come from brutes, tho’ somewhat finer than their own,
I am heir, and this my kingdom. Shall the royal voice be mute?
No, but if the rebel subject seek to drag me from the throne,
Hold the sceptre, Human Soul, and rule thy province of the brute.

II.
I have climb’d to the snows of Age, and I gaze at a field in the Past.
Where I sank with the body at times in the sloughs of a low desire,
But I hear no yelp of the beast, and the Man is quiet at last,
As he stands on the heights of his life with a glimpse of a height that is higher.

– by Alfred Lord Tennyson

Caveat: Hiring an Argentinian

Some additional, tangential thoughts on the new Pope.

First, a reader comment reported at Andrew Sullivan's blog: "Best comment on the new pope that I’ve heard so far: Pope Francis – because when you need to hide a German, hire an Argentinian." Brutal and prejudicial, but historically justified, perhaps.

But also, yesterday – the day after the new Pope was announced, I received an email flyer from a Spanish bookstore website I get emailings from periodically, announcing a book about the new Pope. That is fast turnaround: about 24 hours for publication. This is what the internet is doing to publishing. This is the future.

Unrelatedly… but rather nostalgically…

What I'm listening to right now.

Bee Gees, "Love You Inside Out."

Caveat: 매사는 불여 튼튼


picture
매사는 불여 튼튼

everything-TOPIC blow-[?]-strong[ly]
In everything blow [as on a fire] strongly.

I don’t know what to do with the particle -여 after the 불 (flame? if it’s a noun). Is it a form of the copula? Is it some other thing? So… is it a conjugation of the 불다 (blow) instead? The one place I found this proverb with any kind of translation, it was correlated with a meaning something like “Always double-check.” So I’m going to go with a strange defective conjugation of 불다, maybe a kind of imperative, I guess, but I feel like I’m not really understanding this. The word order is very non-Korean-seeming, too – why is there a sort of adverbialized 튼튼 at the end? That’s not a normal place for it.

CaveatDumpTruck Logo

Caveat: That Popey-Changey Thing…

Papa-francisco-i-1-640x640x80To paraphrase Palin (I think it was her): How's that popey-changey thing working out for ya? I couldn't resist.

Habrá Papa argentino. ¿Que significa eso? San Francisco de Asisi fue partidario de la humildad. ¿Sería posible que habrá humildad en el Vaticano? No soy católico, pero hubo un momento en mi juventud, viviendo en América Latina, cuando me ocurrió la idea seria de convertirme – estuve bajo la influencia de la teología de la liberación de Leonardo Boff. Al fin y al cabo, no aguantaba la fantasía. Este nuevo Papa fue parte de la retroguardia en contra de la teología de la liberación en los años 70. No me suena bien…

Caveat: Bracketology

I found this. It is cool: brackets of philosophers, by division (historical). So, who wins? Make your predictions…

Tumblr_mjf4wp0TSw1rmkqb2o1_1280

Should I tell who won when I played it out, "team for team"?

I'll tell you my final four: Aristotle v Marx and Hegel v Foucault. You can learn a lot about me from that.

Caveat: Just Stay

Meditation_63273_629535190406267_873074936_n

What's with meditation, anyway?

Unrelatedly (or only semi-relatedly?), I have been thinking about that maxim that we should live each day as if it were our last, or live each day as if it were crucially important to us, and only be "in the moment." This isn't really such a good idea, though: if I lived that way, for example, I wouldn't really be very good at keeping a job. I wouldn't have savings for if I lost my job. I wouldn't have such intense loyalty to my friends while at the same time being so bad at staying in touch with them. It seems to me that existing only in the moment is a bit of a cop-out, vis-a-vis what the world is really about or for. And it feels like a recipe for flakiness. I'm enough of a flake without making it even worse.

Having said that, I think a constant evaluation of "what's really important" is perhaps crucial. So, for me, what's really important?

I once found (or perhaps myself invented) a counter-maxim to the "in the moment" maxim: Live each day as if you will live forever. This alternative maxim has complications and problems of its own, to be certain, and may be just as bad, as advice, as the other one. But I like to say it, because it forces people to consider all the possibilities.

Caveat: The Ville

This morning, kind of early, I went all the way to Dongducheon. It's about 2 hours by subway: you go southeast from here on line three to downtown, then north-northeast from there on line one.

Why did I do this? I was meeting a sort of "friend of a friend" – a former coworker of mine has a friend who's in the US Army, and that guy recently got posted to Camp Casey, which is HQ to the 2nd Infantry Division that I was attached to as a US Army mechanic while at the 296th Support Battalion at Camp Edwards in 1991.

Because Camp Casey is one of the largest and longest continuously operated US Army bases in Korea, the surrounding town has a distinctive "US Army town" feel, that is utterly unlike any other part of Korea. It's both nostalgic and depressing to see, on the one hand, but on the other, I think about how its being a little bit frozen in time serves to underscore the amazing changes in the rest of the country, by way of contrast.

Ville 006I talked with this friend-of-friend for a few hours. He's only been in-country for a few weeks, so I took him to a Juk restaurant figuring he hadn't had that yet – he hadn't. He's not that familiar with Korea yet, but he's very open minded, having served long bits in Afghanistan, Alaska and Honduras among other places. He's already mastered hangeul, which is pretty rare even among non-GI Americans in Korea, much less soldiers. Apparently, he's really good in Pashto, too (from his time in Afghanistan). As point of fact, he blogged about his experiences in Afghanistan, and he's a damn good writer, too. Because of identity issues since he's still active service, I'll not talk about who he is in public forum such as this blog. But he's an interesting personality, and good for many hours of conversation.

You know you're in "the Ville" (the once and current slang nickname that US soldiers have for the Dongducheon outside the gates of Camp Casey) when the waitress at the Juk joint drops US quarters as change (they are near identical in heft and size as Korean 100 won coins). I only noticed when I got to work and emptied my pockets looking for some change to buy some lunch later in the day – see picture above right. This is the first time I've ever received US coin as change in Korea (except back when I was soldier myself, probably).

Here's a picture of my new friend and me at the Bosan train station a few minutes south of the Casey gate 1.

 
Ville 005

Caveat: Soy eco, olvido, nada

Soy

Soy el que sabe que no es menos vano
que el vano observador que en el espejo
de silencio y cristal sigue el reflejo
o el cuerpo (da lo mismo) del hermano.

Soy, tácitos amigos, el que sabe
que no hay otra venganza que el olvido
ni otro perdón. Un dios ha concedido
al odio humano esta curiosa llave.

Soy el que pese a tan ilustres modos
de errar, no ha descifrado el laberinto
singular y plural, arduo y distinto,

del tiempo, que es uno y es de todos.
Soy el que es nadie, el que no fue una espada
en la guerra. Soy eco, olvido, nada.

– de Jorge Luis Borges

Caveat: 구슬이 서 말이라도 꿰야 보배라

구슬이 서 말이라도 꿰야 보배라
bead-SUBJ hold[?] word[?]-EVEN-IF string[Verb-meaning]-IN-ORDER-TO treasure-[?]
[Something about beads being held and treasure and stringing them together]

This was impossible for me to translate. Lately, I’ve been finding all these Korean proverbs that I really can’t figure out. I get the meaning of this one but individual vocabulary items, like “서” and “말” are what I think of as overloaded homonyms – there are so many possible meanings that I can’t make a decision that narrows it down, even within context. Each of those morphemes has several dozen dictionary entries. I can only guess how they fit together, even given the context of beads and string. I don’t get 보배라 either. Google translate is useless. 보배 is “treasure” but then what is 라? – that’s a verb ending meaning command, or else it can crop up in the rather irregular conjugation of the copula (BE verb), but in that case it’s preceded by morpheme 이 which is the main copula. I’m stumped.

“Beads cannot make a necklace without string.” This is a slight alteration of a translation found online, which is unenlightening vis-a-vis the nuts-and-bolts grammar of the sentence.

I think the point of the proverb is that you need string to string beads – not just beads. You need a certain minimum to get along to something. Not sure what the English equivalent proverb is.

The pictures below are my prayer beads I strung along with 108 bows (prostrations) while on the temple stay in 2010.

picture

picture

CaveatDumpTruck Logo

Caveat: modernity causes suicide because it commodifies individuals

There's an excellent series over at the Ask a Korean website about South Korea's stunningly high suicide rate. The blogger there, known by the name "The Korean," generally starts in a humorous vein but his posts often pursue serious topics analytically.

His observation, that I wasn't really aware of, is that the Korean suicide problem is a recent development – very recent: post 1997 (which was a transformative date in Korean history because of the IMF Asian financial crisis of that year). Up until then, Korea's rate was lower than would be predicted based on other socio-economic factors. This is why, he eventually explains, culturalism is not a good explanation for the problem.

Considering that The Korean blogger is, in fact, a lawyer working in DC (according to his online bio), he makes a pretty trenchant observation:

"What
is it about modernization that causes suicide? Modernity comes with
capitalism and individualism, which travel hand in hand. Reduced to its
core (and thus risking gross over-generalization,) modernity causes
suicide because it commodifies individuals."

 

Caveat: Life*

Wordsbrand03
I found this at MyModernMet. It's by a poster shop called Wordsbrand. Text:

Life*. Available for a limited time only. Limit one (1) per person. Subject to change without notice. Provided "as is" and without any warranties. Nontransferable and is the sole responsibility of the recipient. May incur damages arising from use or misuse. Additional parts sold separately. Your milage may vary. Subject to all applicable fees and taxes. Terms and conditions apply. Other restrictions apply.

Caveat: Venting… with Calories

The week isn't over yet, but, despite promises that the workload would lessen with the advent of the new school year and a new schedule, I've put in more hours this week than at any time since I was covering for both Grace's schedule and my own last summer – and that was only temporary, whereas this state of affairs is looking more and more permanent.

And I have a full day's of work ahead of me tomorrow, too. I'm burning out. This was the kind of stress-driven burnout that lead me to abandon LBridge, in 2009. I'm considering long-term options.


Calories 001
Calories 002Meanwhile, I came home craving something disasterously caloric. I made a cheese, mushroom, onion and tomato omelet. It was really good. Not really very healthy, though. This is why I get fat when I'm stressed (and hit 260 lbs while being a computer programmer, last decade), and why having a high-stress job doesn't work for me, health-wise. It's not workable for long-term sustainability.

Ok, enough complaining.

What I'm listening to right now.



Young Empires, "The Earth Plates Are Shifting."

Caveat: as their good sovereign pleasure dictates

One (very) political blogger I like to read goes by the name Michael J. Smith at a blog entitled Stop Me Before I Vote Again. I'm not sure if his name is a pseudonym or his real name, and one thing is certain: I often don't agree with him. But he has a very biting and incisive style, he is a stunningly good writer, and is a genuine radical. He was offering up a paean to the recently deceased Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, and made the following observation:

"Democracy, on any informed understanding of the term, is the negation of ‘rights’. Democracy means that the people rule. They give rights, and they take them away, as their good sovereign pleasure dictates. If you’re really into ‘rights’, you have no use for democracy; and vice versa." – [from blog post here].

I have been trying to wrap my mind around what this means, but my gut feeling is that he is, in fact, on to something important. There is most definitely a tension (not to use a stronger term like dilemma or – god forbid – dialectic) between the field of discourse we call "democracy" and that which we call "human rights." Perhaps if I was better read in Marxism I'd find his remark to be a truism (in that context, anyway), but I think it's more valuable to remove it from that probable origin and confront it head-on, without so much theoretical baggage.

Democracy, at least in the modern, globalist, bourgeois conception prevalent today, is clearly at odds with the "rights" of minorities within democracies, and at odds with the rights of everyone excluded from given "democratic" polities – cf. the US government's attitude, on evidence, toward the rights of Pakistanis living in tribal areas, or toward Mexicans on the wrong side of the border who have failed to jump through previously established bureaucratic hoops. Et cetera.

Caveat: Llora… Trocitos de madera…

The song below (and referenced in the blog post title) isn't really related to the anecdote below, except that they both involve crying.

I have this one class where my patience runs thin. The ISP72-T 반 (which is mostly 8th graders) has some boys who really lack the ability to control their actions in class. They mouth off (in Korean, and half the time I have no idea what they're saying, I just know it's inappropriate, partly just by watching the reactions of the kids around them), they complain and protest every single assignment, they find excuses for un-done homework, they play footsie under the desks.

I selected one of the ringleaders today and lost my temper, a bit. I put a desk in the hallway, where I could see him out the door, and made him sit there. He's a "class-clown" and always happy-go-lucky, never doing much of anything in the way of homework (though he's not the worst by far in the class), though he's genuinely funny many times – he has a good sense of humor. But I'd just had enough of his constant acting up and not paying attention, mostly because he pulls away the attention of the other students.

His reaction, sitting there at the desk in the hall, was unexpected. He cried.

I thought about something I wrote last week: that I hope never to be the teacher that students remember with fear or loathing. I hope I'm not one of those teachers. I misjudged his resiliancy and wounded his complacency, clearly. It's one thing when a 2nd grader bursts in tears. It's a bit disconcerting when it's an 8th grader who's as tall as I am.

So he had a hard day. And I have a day when I question my effectiveness as a teacher.

What I'm listening to right now.

La Yegros, "Trocitos de madera."

Images

Caveat: For Pennies

I had a dream that I was driving around Illinois collecting pennies in exchange for teaching debate. It was like a cross between a) my current job, b) some kind of replay of Lincoln-Douglas that involved stopping at truck stops and Wal-Marts, and c) a winter road trip.

At each stop, after teaching a debate class to involved or unfocused or somnolent children (all a blur), I was paid a single penny.  I had a jar on the seat in my car, beside me. I would drop the penny in the jar, and then drive in lightly falling snow down the highway of some dream-version of Illinois (that mostly looked like the real Illinois, because, although far in the past, I've done my fair share of driving around Illinois and other midwestern states).

What does this dream mean? Why do I have so many "driving around dreams"? – I haven't even owned a car in half a decade.

What I'm listening to right now.

Mice Parade, "Tokyo Late Night."

Caveat: 求全之毁

구전지훼
???

I was utterly unable to figure this out. I can’t even find dictionary entries that make sense to me.

I don’t actually think it’s Korean, based on some research. I think it’s Chinese. But like most old Chinese, it has a “Korean pronunciation,” which is what that is above. The hanja (Chinese) is: 求全之毁. It’s by Mencius (孟子=맹자) – the Confucian philosopher from long, long ago.

So I didn’t know what it was, but I found it in the online hanja dictionary, with a definition in Korean: 행동이나 몸가짐을 빈틈없이 온전히 하려다가 오히려 뜻밖에 남에게 욕을 듣게 됨. This was too hard for me to figure out, but I started to get the drift, and did some searching. I found this more concise definition: 온전하기를 구하다가 비난받음.  This could translate as “Condemned to seek perfection.”

That, at least, makes sense. But I also found Mencius’s phrase linked to Moliere’s: “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” So maybe that’s a rough equivalent proverb? Hard to say. I’m giong to have to think about it.

Caveat: I can’t. Not in English.

I've been teaching my annual unit on "All people have a right to self-determination" to my various debate classes, over the last few weeks. The pacing and level of detail with each class has been sligthly different, because each class has different levels of interest, motivation, and ability. Mostly, I time the unit to coincide with 삼일절 (Korean Independence Day, March 1), because one of the readings I give to the kids is an English translation of Korea's declaration of independence. The translation I have is really well written, for one thing, and it talks about self-determination of peoples (in the context of Wilson's Paris Declaration and the end of WWI).

One of the ironies of teaching this unit is that I have ended up teaching the kids a lot of history, and, more specifically, we often – depending on the direction of the class discussion – delve into Korean history, specifically. This evening, I had a rather interesting experience.

When I lecture on Korean history, I'm venturing into fraught territory: I know a lot of history, I've read a lot, but I'm by far an expert – especially in Korean history. All it takes is a few history-buff kids among my audience to point up various mistakes or glaring omissions in my observations. I have a student who mostly sleeps in my classes, although she will occasionally wake up to deliver a slightly-more-than-mediocre speech, if she's in the right mood. But she never prepares or does homework of any kind. Well, tonight, she woke up. She was very engaged, and paying attention. She was interested in Korean history in a way that clearly has never been interested in English. She wanted to argue with me, about the Jeju uprising of 1948.

I was stating, somewhat out of my ass, that the 1948 uprising was at least in part about the Jeju people seeking self-determination. I know enough to talk about how Jeju was originally "taken" by Goryeo in the year 938, when it was called Tamna and had its own culture and language, and how over the subsequent 1000 years it was thoroughly Koreanized. You might say its history resembles Wales in that respect. And I've always felt that, in the background, a yearning for self-determination must have at least had some part in the uprising in 1948, which was so brutally repressed by the American-sponsored president of South Korea, Rhee Syngman, that it's sometimes described as genocide. But the more overt causes of the uprising were, logically in that point in history, communist sympathizers and activists trying to subvert the nascent South Korean anti-communist regime.

So this student wanted to underscore that although the near-genocide in Jeju was undeniable, it was most definitely not about self-determination, in her view. It was a bunch of rabble-rousing communists who provoked an overreaction on the part of the government. She was struggling to explain this, in English, and she lingered after the class ended, to argue with me. She said, "you're wrong," and shook her head. "But I can't explain."

"Explain it to me… try. You can." I have always sensed that she was one of those students who hates English mostly because it doesn't allow her to express herself easily, because it's so hard to be eloquent. She has confirmed this.

"I can't. Not in English." She was almost crying. She really wanted to make her point.

The issue ended unresolved – she had to run, because it was 10 o'clock, the hagwon was closing. But I have this idea that that is what I really want, more than anything else: to turn English class from a boring memorization of canned phrases or vocabulary or grammar into an intrinsically motivated conversation, where suddenly students want… need to express themselves in English. And then English won't be a boring subject, but they'll start to see what language (any language) is for: communicating ideas effectively.

 

Caveat: If I ran the hagwon (Item 12)

Almost 4 years ago, I posted a list of 11 things that, in my humble opinion, would make for a better (and possibly more successful) hagwon – for those of you not in Korea, remember that “hagwon” are the ubiquitous and nearly universal after-school extracurricular academies that Koreans send their children to, as a supplement to an otherwise rather poor public education system. Most of my time in Korea, I have worked for various EFL specializing hagwon (there are many other types including math, and multiple subject hagwon for example), and these comments are intended solely to pertain to EFL hagwon.
That list from 4 years ago was written at my one-year anniversary at LBridge (which was the biggest and by far most successful hagwon I’ve worked for – though “successful” means only “at that time” as it later went bankrupt). I think all the items on it still pertain, and I wouldn’t really adjust any of my thoughts from that time. But I’ve decided, all these years later, to begin make this “list” a “feature” on This Here Blog Thingy™. So, I’ll add some new items for the list, now or later, as they arise or cross my mind. I’ll called it: IIRTH (if I ran the hagwon) – maybe make it a category on the blog if it grows enough.
So here comes item number 12.

  • 12) Teachers should have fixed classrooms. In every hagwon I’ve worked at, except the first one under some circumstances, the student cohorts have fixed classrooms and the teachers pass from classroom to classroom. This is perhaps convenient in some ways, administratively, and there’s less confusion and bustle from the problematic of having the students change classes between teaching periods. However, I think it has a lot of disadvantages. One of the foremost is that the teachers don’t have any incentive to personalize their classrooms, and very little impetus or motivation to keep their classrooms clean and well-maintained, etc. The kids write grafitti, things get broken, etc. This doesn’t happen in public schools where teachers “own” their classrooms. Besides, I’d so very much love to have a space I could call my own, to decorate, to personalize. You can put posters, bulletin boards, maps… anything you need or want for teaching.

Some of the most productive time I’ve felt that I’ve spent teaching in Korea were the several months of the summer school session I had at Hongnong, when I had my own classroom to decorate and maintain as I wished – and I did!
This evening, I made a remark about this idea to one of my fellow teachers. She sighed and agreed it was a good idea, but she gave a reason I actually had never heard before for as to why hagwon don’t do it that way. “Hagwon owners and managers like to have all the staff in a single room so they can communicate better.” I laughed. “Really? I would say my gyo-gam [vice principal] was a much more effective communicator than any hagwon boss I can think of – we simply had meetings all the time.” I gazed at our boss’s office as I said this. My coworker laughed. “I mean, when was the last time he communicated with us, here in the staffroom?” We laughed some more. (These are paraphrases, not exact quotes.)
Here is a picture of my Hongnong classroom from August, 2010.
picture
picture

Caveat: Barriers to Entry

I spent yesterday in one of my internet holidays. When I woke up, I found myself sitting down at my computer. I made a blog post and then, feeling disgusted with myself for obsessively surfing blog sites, I unplugged my DSL modem, which is a little bit hard to reach behind a pile of stuff along one wall. That provided a sufficiently diffiuclt "barrier to entry" that I managed to stay offline all day. It was a little bit of psychological self-manipulation, I guess – pretending my internet was broken. I just had to forget I had a smartphone, too – but I always keep the ringer turned off on that (so it doesn't interrupt when I'm in class), but that wasn't too hard, as I just stash it on a bookshelf with the charger plugged in when I'm at home, sometimes.

Does this make me an anti-social person, that I take such holidays?

I read some good short stories and even worked on my writing a little  bit, but it wasn't a very productive day. I went grocery shopping and cleaned cleaned my apartment a little bit. I felt domestic but not very content. A bit restless. I should have taken a long walk,  but this persistent sore throat I've had urged me not to go out into the cold.

I'm back "in the world" today. It's hard to stay away from it, isn't it?

Caveat: 걱정도 팔자

걱정도 팔자
worry-TOO sell-PROP
Let’s even sell worries.

“Don’t worry about it” or “You worry too much” or even “None of your business.” It doesn’t feel particularly polite.

I also found a version with the ending -군 (i.e. 걱정도 팔자군) in the daum.net dictionary, but that is much more puzzling to me grammatically, since I had no idea an exclamatory and a propositive could combine that way: a sort of exclamatory proposition?

Caveat: Five Rememberances

The "Five Rememberances" are from the Upajjhatthana Sutta (part of the Pali Canon [Buddhist scriptures])

I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.

I am of the nature to have ill health.
There is no way to escape having ill health.

I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.

All that is dear to me and everyone I love,
Are of the nature to change.

There is no way to escape,
Being separated from them.

My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape,
The consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground on which I stand.

The word "actions" in this translation is kamma (karma) in the original. I much prefer thinking of karma as "action" rather than as destiny or fate. Karma is simply the things you do that have consequences.

Here's a picture I took last fall, of 법륜사, looking up under the eaves of a temple building.

Chuseokday 058

Caveat: E dels cinc non m’entendon tréi


CantigasCobla V

Desirat ai, enquer desir
E voil ades mais desirar
Que tener ma dona e baisar
E luec on m'en pogues jausir !
Qu'eu l'am e dic ço que dir déi.
E dels cinc non m'entendon tréi,
Anz diran "Ben vos es esprés".
Si mon joi non avia,
Als bons fa piez.
– Pèire Cardenal (poem written maybe 1201 AD).

Cardenal was poet and troubador of the middle ages from what is in modern times the south of France, but at that time was called Pays d'Oc (the land of people who say "yes" by using the word "oc", roughly). In contemporary times, their language is called Occitan and is still spoken by several millions. It's closely related to Catalan.

I couldn't find a translation this couplet in English online. I found this French translation at a site with much of Cardenal's work.

J'ai désiré ma dame, je la désire encore
et je veux la désirer toujours et davantage
plutôt que d'obtenir de la serrer, de l'embrasser,
en un lieu où d'elle je tirerais grand plaisir.
Car je l'aime et je dis ce que je dois dire.
Trois sur cinq ne me comprennent pas
mais diront " Vous êtes bien épris !"
Et si d'elle je n'avais pas une vraie joie d'amour,
c'est qu'aux meilleurs elle réserve ses rigueurs…

So I attempted my own translation – it's a tossup whether I find the Occitan original or the French translation easier – my work with medival Spanish actually makes the Occitan pretty easy to sort out.

Couplet V

I wanted my lady, I wanted her more
And I want to want even more
Holding my lady and kissing her
Where I would give her pleasure!
Because I love her and I say what I have to say.
Three out of five do not understand me
But say "You are just infatuated"
If I did not have joy,
At best she'd take it easy on me…

If anyone harbored any doubts, this blog post should be clear evidence of my genuine eccentricity: on some days, this is my hobby.

What I'm listening to right now.

Claude Marti, "Pèire Cardenal – Razos es qu'ieu m'esbaudei." The poetry is 13th century (another work by Cardenal), but I suspect the musical setting is modern.

Lyrics.

Razos es qu'ieu m'esbaudei
E sia jauzens e gais
E diga cansos e lais
E un sirventes desplei,
Quar leialtatz a vencut
Falsetat, e non a gaire
Quez ieu ai auzit retraire
Qu'us fortz trachers a perdut
Son poder e sa vertut.

Dieus fa, e fara e fei,
Aissi com es Dieus verais,
Drech als pros e als savais
E merce, segon lur lei.
Quar a la paia van tut,
L'enganat e l'enganaire,
Si com Abels a son fraire.
Que-l trachor seran destrut
E li trait ben vengut.

Dieu prec que trachors barrei
E los degol e los abais
Aissi con fes los Algais,
Quar son de peior trafei.
Quez aisso es ben sauput:
Pieger es trachers que laire,
Qu'atressi com hom pot faire
De convers monge tondut,
Fai hom de trachor pendut.

De lops e de fedas vei
Que de las fedas son mais,
E per un austor que nais
Son mil perditz, fe qu'ie'us dei.
Az aisso es conogut
Que hom murtriers ni raubaire
Non plas tant a Dieu lo paire
Ni tant non ama son frut
Com fai del pobol menut.

Assatz pot aver arnei
E cavals ferrans e bais
E tors e murs e palais
Rics hom, sol que Dieu renei.
Doncs ben a lo sen perdut
Aquel acui es veiaire
Que tollen l'autrui repaire
Deia venir a salut,
Ni-l dons Dieus quar a tolgut.

Quar Dieus ten son arc tendut,
E trai aqui on deu traire
E fai lo colp que deu faire:
A quecs si com a mergut,
Segon vizi o vertut.

Caveat: Channeling Colonel Kasun in Korea

picture

It was mostly just incidental that I happened to learn that Joseph Kasun passed away recently – I'm not in touch with any of my onetime high school teachers, but someone's posting on facebook caught my attention and so I came to know that my high school history teacher, Mr (Col) Kasun had died. His obituary is here, in the Times-Standard, Humboldt's newspaper-of-record. Here's an internet picture (right) showing him with ice-cream in front of a recognizably Arcata High Schoolish building – perhaps even his classroom (at the windows)?

I didn't have much of a personal connection with Mr Kasun. As a student, I remember not thinking much of him – he seemed theatrical and reactionary and prone to pendantic declamations that suited his record as a veteran and former Army officer perfectly. As a disconsolate youth with hippie-commune parents, to me he seemed both dangerous and buffoonish, like the bizarre uncle in the movie Harold and Maude. But he was, in fact, a fairly effective and most definitely memorable teacher, and he was principled enough not to spout his extreme conservative agenda too blatently into the classroom – I knew he was conservative (his wife was a major figure in the Humboldt pro-life movement and a Reagan activist) but I didn't ever feel he was trying to convince me to be conservative.

And here's the thing – I think of old Col Kasun often. Not quite on a daily basis, but he comes to mind several times a week, and in fact he'd been on my mind the same evening that I got home and saw the facebook post reporting his death. How is it that this should be so?

I'm a teacher. I'm not a high school teacher, but I teach gifted middle-schoolers, which is close enough. And even though I am, primarily, an EFL teacher, my methodology is deeply wrapped up with teaching "subjects-but-in-English." Specifically, I often find myself being a history and social studies teacher, such as was Mr Kasun. It's inevitable when talking about topics such as democracy, fights for independence, or social policy, that Mr Kasun's passionate and sincere style will sometimes come to mind. He would stand up at the front of the class and gesture his pointing finger while making oratory on the topic of our hard-won American freedoms or American exceptionalism. What's weird is that I can unintentionally channel Mr Kasun in gesture or tone, while the topic is, instead, Korean hard-won freedoms or Korean exceptionalism, while the kids stare up in that perfect teenage mixture of awe and boredom. And I find myself thinking to myself, 'jeez, that was a fine Colonel Kasun you just did, wasn't it?'

And I go home to read that he has died. I never had been in touch with him, since high school.

There are teachers you really like, in school. But as a teacher, those aren't always the teachers you think about, much less the ones you channel or become.

I really liked Mr Mauney, and Mr Meeks, and Mrs Williams (who had a different name, maybe, later, due to divorce or remarriage) and Mme Dalsant. But I rarely think of them in my teaching. Instead, I meditate on Mr Kasun or Mr Dohrman (sp?), both of whom I find myself channeling, sometimes to my own deep chagrin. Or I contemplete Mr Allan Edwards, who terrified me so much as a high school freshman that I never really recovered, and all these years later, I sometimes remind myself that, whatever else I may have as positives or negatives as a teacher, at the least I'm not terrifying my students to the extent they contemplate suicide. At least… I desperately hope not. I admit I've caused the occasional first or second grader to burst into tears – who hasn't? – but that's a far cry from inducing so much fear and loathing in a 15 year-old that he still has nightmares about you 30 years later.

That's a little bit off track, vis-a-vis a sort of obituary on Mr Joseph Frank Kasun. But the point is, I think of one past teacher or another almost every day – especially those teachers that left indelible impressions, be they good or bad. I think there may be something to the aphorsim that goes something like:  it's better to be remembered as a teacher, even if disliked, than to be forgotten.

RIP Col Kasun.

Caveat: Sick of Man

What I'm listening to right now.




Cold, "Sick of Man." This song is from the album 13 Ways to Bleed On Stage, which was on my constant replay in maybe 2000 or 2001 – around the time of Michelle's death. So I tend to think of her when I hear it. It's bittersweet memories, and the darkness of this album suited the epoch well.

Lyrics.

Gave all the vampires back
To God that day
No one got raped here
But the pain's still inside
I'll never love you
But I've got words to say
No one betrayed here
But the memories lie
I said don't go away
Turned off the lights and then you
Said please don't follow me
And you cared

You stole my passion
Burned my everything
There all the same here
Locked up change deep inside
I'll never love you
But I've got words to say
You killed the feeling
But the pain's still alive

I said don't go away
Turned off the lights and then you
Said please don't follow me
And you cared

You kept your feelings hidden
Like a psycho
Burned it all down
Take me with you
Won't you let me go

So sick of man

Lately, I've been feeling kind of nostalgic for my year in Jeollanam (2010-11). I found this really great picture of Gwangju from halfway up the side of Mudeungsan – I don't think I've posted it before.


20100419_GwangjuKR_P1040219 (2)

Back to Top