off to see the wizard. . .
watch out for flying monkeys.
Caveat: Imperial Invigorate Moxibustion
Andrew, Hollye and I had an outing day in Seoul.
First we took the subway to Insadong, where we wandered the crowded streets and then had lunch at my favorite vegetarian restaurant.
After eating we were walking over to find a subway station, and we passed a restaurant with this sign in the window.
I thought it was quite funny: it says (or seems to say):
Japanese: OK
English: OK
Chinese: meh. But we love you.
Then we headed over to 동묘 [dongmyo] is the site of a major flea market neighborhood. It just goes on and on. I’ve experienced many Korean fleamarkets, but only in rural areas – never in Seoul and never on this huge scale.
We walked around a lot.
I saw a box with an incomprehensible name (the English part, I mean).
But it turns out this is an actual thing – moxibustion [the 뜸 of the Korean name] is a folk remedy where you burn mugwort against accupressure points on a patient’s skin. Perhaps I should have invested in it? Andrew is huge believer in mugwort, and my mom is a believer in accupuncture. This would combine both, and might therefore be doubly effective.
I decided to actively shop for one of my strange manias: I’m seeking a Korean manual typewriter. Not a made-in-Korea English (i.e. Latin) typewriter, but a manual typewriter made for typing Korean. This isn’t as impossible as many people who don’t know Korean might think – Korean is not like Chinese or Japanese, because the number of underlying symbols in the native Korean writing system (hangul) is quite small.
I love manual typewriters: I have several (Latin ones) in my storage unit in Minnesota. This one guy we visited had many, many typewriters – mostly Latin, but several hangul. He was honest, however: he told me none of them worked. So I didn’t buy one.
Walking back to the subway, we saw a bicycle that looked Army-style.
And a peaceful, desolate collection of greenery in an urban wasteland.
Finally, we took the subway out to Bucheon, where we met my friend Peter. Peter is only a few weeks left from ending his teaching contract, and he intends to do some on-foot travel in Korea and then return to the US.
We ate at a 짬뽕 [jjambbong] joint near his apartment and then Andrew, Hollye and I came back to Ilsan.
caveat: 삼송역에서 추상파의 악어들
our subway train broke so they threw us off at 삼송역 [samsong station]. andrew noticed this mural on the wall, which he immediately described as “multicolored abstract alligators hunting birds under the trees.” this caused me to need to take a picture of it.
[update 1: dang stupid phone attached the wrong photo to the email post. grr. pay no attention to the man behind the curtain rearranging things now. . . update 2: ok, fixed now.]
Caveat: locos pretextos bulliendo
Ventana
Un trozo de azul tiene mayor
intensidad que todo el cielo,
yo siento que allí vive, a flor
del éxtasis feliz, mi anhelo.
Un viento de espíritus pasa
muy lejos, desde mi ventana,
dando un aire en que despedaza
su carne una angélical diana.
Y en la alegría de los Gestos,
ebrios de azur, que se derraman…
siento bullir locos pretextos,
que estando aquí !de allá me llaman!
– Alfonso Cortes (poeta nicaragüense, 1893-1969)
Caveat: the flowers are blooming on the old dead tree
I found this in my Practical Dictionary of Korean-English Buddhist Terms.
온갖 사람들과 만나 무애자재 (無礙自在)하려고 하는 것이 변수행 (徧修行)이다. 철조망을 쳐놓고 수행하는 것만이 수승한 수행은 아닐 것이다. 몽매한 중생 제도를 위해 원효대사는 허리에 바가지를 차고 광대 흉내까지 내셨다.
성인 (聖人)들의 길을 버린 다음 표주박을 허리춤에 차고
저자거리에 나가 술꾼 아니면 푸줏간 주인과 잘도 어울리네.
신선 (神仙)들의 신통력 필요 없으니
오호라! 그가 손을 대자 늙은 고목 (枯木)에서 꽃이 피네.
–십우도 (十牛圖), 入廛垂手–
Marketplace practice: The true practice must be among the common people in their daily lives not in isolation in the deep mountains.
A man abandons the ways of saints and enters the crowded marketplace
With a begging bowl by his side to join the bunch of drunkards and butchers.
Who said that only saints could perform miracles?
A man touches the old dead tree, and Lo! the flowers are blooming on the old dead tree.
–The last scene of the Ten Ox-herding Pictures–
It seems like half-poetry, half commentary.
I’m tired. I need to nap.
Caveat: Andrew Was Right
I was complaining about my hypochondria with respect to my radiation treatments to my brother, earlier this week (or maybe it was at the end of last week?). Something Andrew said struck me as the right perspective. I don’t remember his exact phrasing, but he said, basically, that I need to remember not to make the radiation therapy the center of my life, and have other things going on, and it will be better that way.
And so… that’s what I’ve been doing. After the late dinner last night, I really worked a very full day, today. I corrected essays and proctored a 3 hour exam with lots of annoying technical issues, and felt like a generally productive member of society. And before that, I’d spent over an hour scrubbing various as-yet-unscrubbed surfaces in my new apartment. Not to mention the 2 hour nap before that, and some blogreading, and, well, before that, there was that pesky radiation treatment. In the broader picture, it ends up being just a sort of chore I have to do each weekday morning, nothing more.
I feel very tired, but I feel pretty good. There’s a throbbing pain in my mouth and my neck burns and I had nausea earlier but I don’t care. I’m hungry and then I’m going to bed. I’ll work tomorrow.
caveat: zap-o-matic number 9
almost one third done. . .
last night i dreamed i was in the army again. . but with my current age / body / state-of-health. and i went to camp edwards with some random soldiers only to find it empty and abandoned. . in its current state. there was some kind of alert due to north korea but no one was paying attention. we were living in field tents and everyone wad sitting around playing games on smartphones, including my brother.
then suddenly we had to break camp. russians were making problems. my friend kristen showed up to explain that we had all been captured and would be transfered to a POW camp in siberia. i said what a bunch of bs, i was annoyed.
so with my friend nate and with my brother we staged an escape that seemed to involve mostly walking through various korean malls. we ended up back at the abandoned camp edwards, where we were recaptured by the russians. i told them, "we are only prisoners if we believe we are prisoners."
nobody listened. so i woke up.
Caveat: Grapefruit and other things eaten
Yesterday was kind of busy. I met Dr Jo after my radiation, and it seemed like it went well. He seemed surprised that so far I’m still not having any trouble eating, and he was mostly reassuring with respect to my other symptoms, hypochondriac or otherwise.
After that meeting, I walked home and ended up taking a long nap, and eating a lot. I had grapefruit, among other things, which I’ve been craving. That’s not really anything new – I’ve been craving grapefruit pretty continuously for about 4 decades now – but grapefruit isn’t always easy to run across in Korean supermarkets, so the craving matching up with availability was nice.
Then I went to work, and ended up working the longest of any time since coming out of the hospital, because I spent 3 hours proctoring a pseudo-TOEFL test for some advanced students. Rather than pay big bucks for a “real” (or realish) TOEFL test, Ken and I decided to try to piece together our own mini-TOEFL, including essay writing (by making them type on the computer using the notorious MS notepad – to avoid giving the students access to spellcheck and that type of thing) and speaking (by making them record onto the computer using some mp3-recording freeware). It was the first time we’ve tried this, but I think it went well – well enough that I think we can make it a routine. And as I’ve said elsewhere, I’ve long ago given up battling South Korea’s testing obsession and come to embrace it as a means to quantify outcomes and stepwise progress, not just for students and parents but for us as teachers as well.
And then… after ending work at 10, we did 회식 [hweh-sik = business dinner]. We went to a “help-yourself” style meat-grilling place at La Festa (a local outdoor mall-type-thing). I intended to take some pictures, but I forgot. I ate a lot, though. I hope Andrew and Hollye felt comfortable – they got a chance to observe my workplace culture and dynamics. Curt remarked at one point to Andrew that I was quite changed, in his perception, from before my diagnosis and surgery. He said I had become a more positive person. I resist this stark division of my personality into before and after, as I don’t think my fundamental outlook as been quite so transformed (despite some post-surgery epiphanies). What has changed is I have a much stronger commitment to projecting my positivity and gratitude to those around me.
Anyway, it ended up being a late night, because of that. I went to sleep around 1 AM – almost like my old, regular work schedule.
Except now I have to get up and go to radiation.
caveat: zap-o-matic number 8
for some reason i was moving too slowly this morning, despite waking up at my regular time, which is around 630. so i ended up feeling rushed and late getting to my 9 am appointment. so arrived less calm than usual. . stressed and frustrated. i started coughing as i was about to strap down.
it was difficult to relax and stay still. . most difficult session so far, and i feel really desequilibriated and grumpy. . splitting headache, postnasal drip with painfully dry mouth at the same time.
waiting to see dr jo (radiotherepy specialist) for thursday consult.
Caveat: C’est à dire, faith
Ta-Nehisi Coates is one of my favorite and most-visited bloggers. He writes over at The Atlantic. He's not the most polished – he often makes glaring or embarrassing typos in his entries (this seems to be one of the great challenges of frequent blogging), but he's a talented writer and sometimes he will drop the most profound and remarkable stuff in the most off-handed way imaginable.
Lately, Mr Coates has been in France, because he's decided to learn French. Deciding to learn a language while long past one's presumed youth is an undertaking near-and-dear to my heart, as most people who know me know well. His most recent blogpost, as many recent ones, is about this experience. His last two paragraphs about his efforts to learn the language are really striking, to me – they are the sort of pep-talk I need when I feel the despair and frustration in my own efforts to learn Korean. It hoves so close to my own experience and insights.
Before I came here everyone told me that the enemy was the French. It would be their rudeness, their retreat into English that would defeat me. But I am here now and it is clear that–as with attempting to learn anything–the only real enemy is me. My confidence comes and goes. I have no innate intelligence here–intelligence is overrated. What matters is toughness, a willingness to believe against what is apparent. Learning is invisible act. And what I see is disturbing. In class my brain scatters, just as it did when I was in second grade. I have to tell myself every five minutes to concentrate.
The hardest thing about learning a language is that, at its core, it is black magic. No one can tell you when, where or how you will crossover–some people will even tell you that no such crossover exists. The only answer is to put one foot in front of the other, to keep walking, to understand that the way is up. The only answer is a resource which many of us have long ago discarded. C'est à dire, faith.
Caveat: Cthulego
This is cool – a guy made a cthulu using legos.
I’m pretty tired. I probably will go to sleep soon. I know a lot of times this blog is pretty boring or banal or trivial, but that’s what it’s evolved to become – it’s a way for me to let everyone I know who cares about me that “I’m OK.”
caveat: zap-o-matic number 7
i saw a man walking on the street yesterday with an iv cart. . carrying it rather than rolling it, due to some rough pavement. he looked like a pole vaulter, but he was smoking a cigarette. i dont think patients trudling their iv stands around outdoors is so common in the US, but it strikes me as more common here. . certainly, due to my own recent experience, i notice it more, especially near hospitals.
one thing im glad for, during this radiation treatment, is that i dont have be constantly injected with stuff.
now number seven.
Caveat: Right Across the Street
Right across the street from my new (and very former) apartment building is a rather authentic Italian restaurant – the menu is in Italian and Korean with barely a handful of English on it anywhere.
Back when I lived here before, the same location was some kind of mass-seafood joint that was open 24 hours, but during the intervening years between 2009 and now, the neighborhood has upgraded quite a few establishments.
So I’ve been meaning to eat there. This evening, Andrew and Hollye and I went there and had one funghi and one rucola pizza, and a largish seafood salad thing. Here is a picture.
The place has a slightly cheesy decor – which, if anything, makes it seem more Italian in some ways. On the bench seat behind us, there were some cushions and some teddybears. Andrew befriended one of the bears. Maybe.
caveat: zap-o-matic number 6
i caught an unexpected hint of approaching autumn just now, walking to the cancer center. it hasnt cooled off any, but the humidity seems less severe. i actually pulled a sheet over myself in a predawn moment in my un-air-conditioned apartment, this morning.
here i go for number 6.
argle bargle derp.
Caveat: 108 On Cloth
When I was at 보문사 [bomun temple] on Sunday, in the shop beside the temple I found something I had always wondered if existed but had never actually seen before: an “on cloth” rendering of the 108 Buddhist affirmations that I translated (attempted to translate) in 2010~11.
So I bought one – I seem to have developed a habit of collecting these cheap little cloth renderings of aphorisms and phrases and excerpts of sacred writings.
I haven’t analyzed it too closely, but I think they’re exactly the same list. I still have no idea if these affirmations are uniquely Korean in origin or if they are translations of some older Chinese or Gandharan or Pali tradition.
After yesterday morning’s session at the hospital, I felt really tired. I napped for a short time, then met my friend Mr Kwon for lunch while Andrew and Hollye did their own touristic trip into Seoul. After lunch I went to work but there wasn’t much for me to do there. Given I wasn’t feeling very good, that was a good thing, so by about 6 pm I had come home. Andrew and Hollye came over and we watched a movie and I went to sleep.
It felt like a useless day. I felt tired and achey and grumpy all day. I struggle with all these worries about the radiation: is that twinge of toothache a symptom? is that pain in my neck a symptom? how about the headache? Some no doubt are, others are just hypochondria.
caveat: zap-o-matic number 5
last night, i dreamed curt asked me to teach a bunch of debate classes. i was so happy. i was excited to be teaching all my much-missed students again. but i went to my first class and no students were there. i asked at the front desk and they didnt know where the students were. i wandered out into a large furniture store that was surprisingly sharing the same building with the hagwon, and found several students hiding under a table. i became extremely angry and began ranting at them about responsibility and keeping commitments and their wasting my time.
when i woke up i asked myself, where is all this anger coming from?
actually, i think its about frustration with how drawn out this whole treatment regime is.
i go in for radiation 5 of 30 now.
Caveat: 보문사
Yesterday Andrew, Hollye and I went to 보문사 [Bomun temple], which is on Seongmo Island which is off the coast of the larger Ganghwa Island which is basically straight west of Seoul at the mouth of Han River. We took a long, slow, local bus from Ilsan to Ganghwa County Seat, thence on a different bus (after some confusion as to where to catch it) to Oepo-ri on Ganghwa’s west side, then a short ferry ride across the channel to Seongmo, and finally, after lunch of clam noodle soup and spicy herring salad, a last bus around Seongmo Island to the location of the temple.
Here are some pictures from this trip.
Waiting to board the ferry at Oepo-ri.
Looking back at Oepo-ri from aboard the ferry.
Many hungry seagulls freeloading off the “do not feed the birds”-disregarding Koreans.
Looking back while walking up the steep driveway to the temple.
The temple gate.
Looking up at the temple area.
Andrew and Hollye walking behind me.
A large collection of statues regarding a stupa. I’m not really sure what this represents.
Looking up the mountain at our ultimate destination.
Looking down a big old tree.
The entrance to the grotto temple.
Temple details.
Small figurines hanging out on some mossy rocks.
Going farther up the mountainside, there was a cast bronze statue of a many-headed, many-tailed dragon.
Looking back down the mountainside.
At the top of the many, many stairs we found the famous buddha relief carved in the cliff-side looking out to sea.
Then we found a back-trail back down the mountainside. This sign says “danger.”
Looking out while waiting for the return ferry.
Another ferry parking beside ours.
Some views of boats upon our return to Oepo-ri.
Here is a collection of temple-wall paintings thrown in here at the end of this here blogpost.
caveat: downhill through a forest
after visiting a temple and a famous buddha on the island we walked back down the hill along a forested trail. more about the temple and the buddha later.
caveat: 석모도
riding the short ferry to 석모도 [seongmo island].
caveat: unpleasant speculation
what if the main and most notable side effect of the radiation treatment was a generalized, unfocused grumpiness?
ive been feeling that feeling a lot lately. i suppose its connected to a correspondingly generalized, unfocused feeling of being "under the weather." but as i attempt to travel a day trip to ganghwa with my brother and hollye, i cant help but be conscious of how short my temper is, and how easily i succumb to feelings of frustration or annoyance.
why is it easier to find equanimity in a hospital in a radiation machine than it is on a bus with andrew? that doesnt seem logical.
Caveat: and other yummy alright people in my right mind hey
My friend Peter was playing with the auto-captioning feature on youtube, while watching the video I posted last week of my telling my cancer story to my 7th graders. Honestly, I had never played with this youtube feature before. I was vaguely aware of its existence but I had assumed that if the quality was anything like google translate, it wouldn’t be that useful.
I was right, but I’d underestimated its sheer entertainment value. Having watched my video in snippets with the captioning turned on, I’ve laughed several times.
Peter found and screenshotted one of the best, which he sent to me:
I found this one, too, which matches up with me saying “I feel great.”
I know the software is terrible, but seeing this nevertheless also induced some insecurities with respect to my enunciation, which of course is “re-learned” on my newly re-engineered tongue and vocal tract. I’ll keep working to improve on that. It’s important to me to provide comprehensible input to my students, and lately I’ve been worrying that they’re understanding even less than normal, and just being quiet out of pity or politeness. That’s a hard battle, in Korea.
Caveat: A Saturday’s Banality
I woke up this morning with a very vaguely nauseated feeling. Probably something I wouldn't have even noticed, normally, or something I would have associated with feeling a bit tired or just unmotivated to eat breakfast as sometimes happens. But currently undergoing radiation treatment, it's natural to want to read more into it. I quickly magnified it into all kinds of half-hypochondrical fantasies, and found it hard to eat breakfast. I texted to Andrew and let him know that I was deciding not to try to do an overnight adventure this weekend, as we had somewhat discussed and half-planned.
Walking to work, however, the nauseated feeling seemed to fade.
Later, at work, I felt that way again, however. Not bad, just sort of a background feeling of wooziness. Teaching was effortful – lecturing for a full hour with a dry mouth proved a bit of a challange, but I solved it by keeping a cup of water handy. And actually, both my classes today felt very successful and I was happy with them.
After work, I went over to my "old" apartment, where Andrew and Hollye are staying, and had a lunch of a very large and diverse salad, of the sort almost impossible to find in Korea except at higher end, very westernized restaurants maybe – the sort of restaurant I rarely frequent, anyway. I almost never make such salads for myself, because making salads for oneself always seems to lead to a lot of wastage of vegetables over the longer term. So it was good to have it, and delicious.
Then I packed up a suitcase and rolled it over to my "new" apartment, and here I am, posting to this here blog thingy. It's been a long break between updates – almost 24 hours, which, in recent times, I don't generally let happen.
I'm feeling far from the top of my game, but I'm hanging in there. More later.
Caveat: 왕따의 이야기
I was correcting essays and came across this depressing, anonymous work. I know who Jack is – he’s a student. I know who Ken is – he’s a teacher.
There was a boy who called Jack And he was 10 years old and he was Wangg TTa [왕따]. Because he always says “I’m most handsome!!” So his classmates hit the Jack. Jack was so tired to that. So he suicided by a bottle of sleeping pills. But he’s mother wasn’t sad. So Jack became ghost, and killed his mother and Ken. So they became ghost, too so they killed Jack one more time. The End.
As usual, the above was transcribed retaining errors, punctuation and orthography. The word 왕따 [wang-tta] deserves some comment: the word means a kind of outcast, maybe a word like geek or nerd or weirdo or loser would be a better translation than outcast. In verb form (와따시키다), it is the act of ostracizing such a person. Although we associate bullying with the school setting in Western culture, the word 왕따 can apply to all social situations, including things like work environments (see comic, above right).
Caveat: Lying Down
After my fourth session I walked with Andrew and Hollye through the park that’s behind the cancer center and that separates the hospital from where my new apartment is. I’m feeling pretty tired, though, so when I got back to my apartment they went on to my “old” apartment (which they’re occupying – and which by the way is working out really well, as it ends up being cheaper for me to maintain two apartments for a short time rather than trying to help them find a hotel).
I ended up lying down and actually napping for a while.
This is what they say happens with the radiation… just kind of a general increase of fatigue. But as usual, I have no idea what is really behind it – it could just as easily be the very busy day I had yesterday, hiking around Suwon with Nate and Andrew and Hollye.
The whole thing is vague and indirect enough to be endlessly speculative, uncertain and hypochondriacal.
Regardless of cause, I’m feeling some tiredness, definitely. I’m going into work soon, but I have no class obligations this evening so I might not stay there too long.
Here are some pictures from walking in Jeongbalsan park.
caveat: zap-o-matic number 4
its a bit as if im lying on an altar, encased in a suit of plastic, my eyes and mouth sealed closed, and then these hightech priests sprinkled highenergy photons around my head like a kind of massless, ethereal holywater.
clickclickclick pause clickclick pause
my ears' stereo perception allows me to sense it as it moves around me in randomly paced arcs, always counterclockwise. . .
Caveat: Return to Suwon
I spent several months in Suwon in 2010, so it’s one of my Korean “homes” – I know the city pretty well and I like it a lot.
Today, I dragged Andrew and Hollye down to Suwon on the 2 hour subway trek, and met my friend Nate. We had lunch, walked around a lot, visited some temples and hiked to the top of Paldalsan, and hung out in an air conditioned cafe for a long time, too.
I’m pretty tired now, so I won’t write a lot. But here are a bunch of pictures.
Nate took the above photo and posted it on facebook. What he wrote under it was very complementary:
Six weeks ago, Jared had surgery for cancer. Yesterday, he started radiation treatment. Today, he hiked up a mountain on the hottest day in Korean history and made me look like a baby. This is the toughest dude on earth.
I think Nate is tougher than me. But I very much appreciate the complement.
caveat: zap-o-matic reprieve
To celebrate the liberation of Korea from the yoke of Japanese Imperialism, I will not be bombarded with high-energy photons today.
I had intended to sleep in, but as those who know me are aware, I'm not always very good at sleeping in. So… good morning.
Perhaps a nap, later?
I definitely have enough of a headache to assume it's residual of the radiotherapy and not just something unrelated, especially as unlike most headaches it seems rooted in my jaw. I don't want this to become a litany of whining or complaint, but I did set out to document my "cancer experience" as best I could, so I'm trying to present things as they happen.
More later, then.
Caveat: 파전과 막걸리
Andrew’s girlfriend Hollye arrived this evening. We went out to dinner along LaFesta and had 파전 [pa-jeon = a sort of savory omelettish pancake] with 막걸리 [makkeolli = rice beer]. These are foods that traditionally go together.
Then we took a walk around the lake and now I’m home and very tired. Ready for bed.
Caveat: over the boulders at night
How Poetry Comes to Me
It comes blundering over the
Boulders at night, it stays
Frightened outside the
Range of my campfire
I go to meet it at the
Edge of the light
– Gary Snyder (American poet, b 1930)
Caveat: Immobilization
I have DSL now, in my new apartment! Yay. Now, we just have to get the A/C repaired. Heh.
After my radiation this morning, I experienced a very severe dry mouth. That’s the worst symptom so far, that I’ve experienced that can be clearly attributed to the radiation therapy sessions. I bought some Gatorade, but since then the dry mouth keeps recurring – i.e., it doesn’t seem to respond to efforts at hydration. And it’s accompanied by a runny nose. Which, as Andrew observed, seems a bit unfair, to have both at the same time.
Anyway, it’s not so bad. I feel pretty high energy, still. I spent a good portion of this afternoon cleaning and scrubbing in my new apartment, while waiting for the internet guy to show up. And then he did, and I felt happy about that too because I communicated with him entirely in Korean. Not that there was much to say: I’m here waiting; come in; put it over there; does it work? etc.
Are you curious what I look like, encased in plastic and immobilized for the radiation? I was curious, so I had one of the technicians take some pictures of me after I was strapped in. He did a good job. Here I am. Don’t I look happy-as-a-buddha? Eheh.
caveat: zap-o-matic number 3
“another day, another xray. . .”
theyre switching my internet DSL from my old apartment to my new apartment, so i may be posting to the blog less than ususal. . dont worry about me.
i walked to hospital this morning. it was hot and humid, but the air was clear and luminous with the sun and well-formed clouds. i took a picture of the longest-lived vacant lot in ilsan. most vacant lots last a year or two at most, but this has existed since i came here six years ago.
caveat: kinda like camping out
im in my new apartment rather than my old one. consequently i have no DSL yet. so im back to posting from my phone like i was doing in the hospital.
my neck and mouth have a sort of burning sensation, half itchy half achey – thats the only thing i can point to as a likely side effect of my first two days of my 3d conformal xray tomographic radiotherapy. im guessing my headache is just tiredness from a long, busy day.
my new apt is sparse, still. its like camping out. the DSL will transfer tomorrow.
meanwhile for your entertainment, i present a photo of a tableau i composed using my small collection of lego. it is meant to represent my current situation.
Caveat: my “Summer 2013 Cancer Theme Song.”
Just now, I have a bit of headache, and that weird sunburned mouth sensation, again. But other than that, nothing horrible at all. Less headache than yesterday – I didn’t have to clench my jaw so much as they tightened the chin section of my strap-down apparatus better this morning.
I was answering a question to someone on facebook about risks associated with therapy and I will repeat here for clarity and access. She asked about how the radiation therapy might impact my vocal cords. I wrote:
I’m not aware of any specific significant risk to other parts of my talking ability, i.e. the vocal cords you mentioned. There is some general risk connected with any type of radiation therapy for lasting damage. I’m more concerned about pharynx/larynx as opposed to vocal cords specifically. The scariest risks mentioned in pre-therapy counseling were: hearing loss, eye damage, and bone cancer (or bone necrosis) in the jaw(!). Percentages are low, however.
Unrelatedly… sometimes, maybe once every 3 months, I actually begin to feel nostalgic for LA. Fortunately, the feeling passes quickly… but see below.
What I’m listening to right now.
Daft Punk, “Lose Yourself to Dance.”
I posted this song before. Not that long ago, even. But I don’t care. It’s my “Summer 2013 Cancer Theme Song.”