I saw the photo of our Future Space Emperor at the Telegraph (.co.uk) website. It looks like some weird Orthodox Jesus icon, with the presidential seal behind him exactly just so…
Don’t get me wrong… I’m really not trying to be sarcastic when I call him Future Space Emperor. I think, first of all, that it just sounds funny. It captures the weird Obameschatology that grew up around his campaign. But also, what if he really does turn out to be Space Emperor, at some point?
Really! It could happen!
Category: Found Online
Caveat: Chupacabras and other fine tropes
It started out, because I was wondering, how does an originally Puerto Rican (and now naturalized Mexican, Brazilian, and even Texan) goat-sucking monster end up as a trope in a Japanese cartoon series? See the youtube, below, where the chupacabra creature is introduced in the Negima!? (the exclamation point and question mark are important parts of the correct spelling of the show’s name) series.
[UPDATE 2020-04-07: The video link here no longer worked, and I have been unable to find a replacement for it. So I guess just take my word for it.]
But then I began investigating, and found this most amazing, time-sucking website. A sort of intellectual chupacabra of my very own: tvtropes.org. Not only do they have these amazingly well-written, tongue-in-cheek meditations on everything from Hamlet to Battlestar Galactica to Chupacabras (of course), but they have such fun little time-wasters as the amazing “story generator“. I will never be able to spend my free time in only wikipedia. I’ve found something better.
So, that was yesterday. Today, I went exploring in Seoul, a little bit. Parts of Seoul seem like a very cold, temperate version of L.A., in terms of the urbanist style at work: these desolate mountain ranges push down into the heart of the city without really attracting development because of their steepness, so only a few subway stops north of downtown you can find a neighborhood that looks like this.
Caveat: Friends like these…
My facebook friend Kray pointed to an article in the guardian about the darker side of facebook in a recent post. I wrote the following comments. I'm going to be writing more, maybe this weekend. I think it's important.
Kray, this is a fascinating article, and I agree that much of it is disturbing, the way that whole parts of the "new economy" are disturbing. I think I will try for an in depth meditation on some of the issues raised, but meanwhile, two short observations:
1) While I agree that if you're using facebook to connect to your local community, then you're clearly short circuiting what could be much more productive "real" social interactions. But for me, it's been proving an amazing way to maintain and restore previously "disappeared" personal communities that span the entire planet because of my current location. That's a "good thing."
2) Yes, we are very "exposed" on the net, and I agree that having all that personal information out there is scary. But I've always been a huge fan of the concept of transparancy as a way to ensure ethics in things like government and business, and while there are big-brother aspects to something like facebook, isn't it possible that we could be hypocritical if we are unwilling to apply the same standards of transparency to our own lives? I'd rather have my "dark secrets" online in a medium I at least in some ways can monitor and control (e.g. my blog, or facebook) than in spaces I cannot control (e.g. that file the FBI/CIA undoubtedly already have on me, somewhere in Washington, or the file my past doctors have of me in some database).
Caveat: 48 Questions
There was one of those list-note things circulating in facebookland, where you answer the questions and post them as a note in facebook. So I did that. Here's the result, crossposted here to this blog thingy.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Well, there's that patriarch
Jared, in the Bible — Genesis something-or-other, and he makes a quick
appearance in the roll call at the beginning of Luke. But I think my
mother was just fishing around randomly.2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
November 16th, last fall.3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's horrible.4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Pastrami (historically). Recently, K-spam (Koreans worship spamstuff).5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One
stepson, turned 22 last month. Wow. He's in my facebook friends list.
He lives in St Cloud, MN. We're not super close, but I care about him
very much.6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No way. I'm insecure and excessively opinionated.7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Regrettably, far too often.8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope. They got removed at Trinity Hospital, corner of C Street and 14th in Arcata, in 1970. I remember the jello vividly.9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Definitely. It's on the list.10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I haven't eaten cereal in years. But, if I had to choose, maybe raisin bran.11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
God, never.13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Coffee.14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Personalitywise: "openness"? Physically: hands.15. RED OR PINK?
Pink. Only because of a current running joke with my E2M3 kids at work.16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My indecisiveness / commitment issues.17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Sometimes
I miss Michelle (my former wife, died 2000). Sometimes I miss my dad
and brother in L.A. Sometimes I miss my bestfriend Bob and family in
Wisconsin.18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
No. Someone has to resist the borg.19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm at home, after work. Blue shorts, no shoes.21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
I
have more than 6000 tracks of music on my computer, on shuffle. Let's
see what comes up… LOL: Bee Gees, More than a Woman. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Greenish23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Honeysuckle
and asphalt (i.e. Southern California in the fall); diesel fumes
(really! makes me think of bus treks across Mexico); a Humboldt County
beach (the surging Pacific); a Minnesota spring;24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend Basil, former coworker at hellbridge (my employer).25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
I like most people. Weirdly. In my abstract way. But yes.26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Hmm. Probably soccer.27. HAIR COLOR?
Brownish greyish.28. EYE COLOR
Bluish greyish.29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No.30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Kimchi Bokkeumbap. Mole poblano. Mac n Cheese.31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
헨젤과 그레텔. Note this is a scary movie, which doesn't make sense, given the previous answer. But whatever…33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Um… bluish, sweatshirt.34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter. Why else do I keep moving back to Minnesota? Besides, the sun is evil.35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs. Despite years in Latin America, I never got comfortable with the kiss-as-hello thing.37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Me. See? … I just did.38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I refuse to respond to this.39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I
never read just one book at a time. Current in-progress
(pile-on-the-shelf-by-the-bed) list includes: Zarathustra (Nietzsche);
The World Without Us (Alan Weisman); Rational Mysticism (John Horgan);
Mainspring (Jay Lake); Progress and Poverty (Henry George); 프래니 (Koren
language translation of American children's book Frannie K Stein by Jim
Benton); Audacity of Hope (Obama).40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I use the track-pad thing built into my laptop. The mousepad at work is black and unattractive. There is a mouse on it.41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
My
TV is broken. I download old tv shows or movies sometimes, and watch
them on my computer. I was watching a Korean series called "Rooftop
Cat" a while back. And some Hawaii 5-O episodes. Bookem, Danno.42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
A
not-too-busy freeway, as heard from about 3 blocks away; cicadas in the
height of a Korean summer; the crunch of snow after a fresh fall, when
the temperature is below 0F.43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
I don't really like either, but if I had to choose, I'd opt for Beatles, because of the childhood soundtrack thing.44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Uh,
which home? My current home is the farthest from my first home, I
think. But Tierra del Fuego is really damn far from both, and so is
Krakow, Poland. Hmm, how about Tasmania? That's farther from most of
my homes than other places, I guess.45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I used to be able to sleep anywhere, under any circumstance. I seem to have lost that ability. It's very sad.46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Trinity Hospital, Arcata, California.47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Whosoever…48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
We
were next door neighbors in 1992, in south Minneapolis, but also both
attending Univ of Minnesota. Michelle and I separated in 1998, and she
died in 2000.
Caveat: Quiere Jared ser útil
Often, I surf to the google news site, but choose the “Mexico” view. Anyway, yesterday at work, I opened google Mexico and there, three or four lines down on the right hand side of the main portal page was the headline “Quiere Jared ser útil” (Jared wants to be useful). Obviously, I understood that it wasn’t, in fact, refering to me. But it was a weird moment when it was like one of those Gombrowiczean hyper-signifying events.
Jared has become an increasingly common first name in Anglo-America, but it remains extremely rare in Spanish-speaking America. What Jared were they referring to? Turns out there’s a champion soccer player of Mexican nationality, sufficiently famous to be referred to by only his first name, as often happens with celebrities. He recently signed with the Guadalajara Chivas pro team, and he “wants to be useful” to his new teammates.
Below is the googlepage – I snapshotted it since obviously those pages are constantly changing their contents.
Caveat: Industria del deseo
Leía en Mileno.com una reseña de un nuevo libro por Joan Ferrés entitulado La educación como industria del deseo. Los conceptos, tales como resumidos por el reseñador, me intriguían, aunque el valor de la reseña no me parecía mucho, porque no ofrecía ninguna opinión propia acerca de la obra. Era más bien un resumen.
Pero, siendo yo educador con tendencias posmodernas, cierto que me llamó la temática. Tal vez intentaré conseguir el libro, aunque hacerlo desde acá en Corea no será muy conveniente. Saldrá o caro o imposible.
Caveat: The Money Hole
In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
Now I understand.
Caveat: ceci n’est pas une nation
There's a website dedicated to proving that Belgium doesn't exist. Ain't the internet totally awesome?
Caveat: Page 56
This is a "note" from facebookland that I'm crossposting here. It's one of those meme things circulating there in facebookland.
Rules:
* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence as a comment then repost these instructions in a note to your wall.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.
My result was: "밥 먹고 난 후 설거지하기가 얼마나 귀찮은지 알아요?"
It's from my omnipresent Korean Grammar textbook: "[do you] know what a pain it is to wash dishes after eating?" But the sentiment is reasonable.
Caveat: “Increase speed, drop down, and reverse direction!”
Space Invaders. Hahahahahahaha…
Caveat: Fear (embedded)
I thought I'd try something new. My first effort to embed a linked video. It's brutal, unkind, over-the-top satire. But it made me laugh.
[Noted added 2010-08-11: The embed is dead. It's really annoying to come back to my blog years later and see the links broken to things like this. I think this is why trying to add embedded materials is a fraught undertaking. I can't find where the original embedded vid went. Oh well. Sorry.]
Caveat: Oups… Franglais Triumphant
I was surfing some French websites earlier – don’t ask me why I do these things, it’s part of being an unrepentant language geek, I guess. I followed a broken link, and saw the following very un-french announcement: oups! So much for French language purity and all that. They let McDonalds into the country, and look what happens.
Caveat: 떡볶이 Yum!
I worked for about 4 hours today. I walked to work amid the crisp air and fall leaves, and took this picture on the path amid the apartment blocks where typically go. When I was walking home, I stopped at a stand and bought some 떡볶이. This particular variety included the basic sliced tubular-shaped rice-cakes, in a slightly sweet red chili pepper sauce with 오뎅 (sliced fish cake, a kind of fish sausagy thing, same as 어묵?). I took it home and ate it with some real cheese I’d bought the other day. Unconventional combination, but delicious.
I then went off to surf comedy web videos. I witnessed the following scene, in which Governor Palin is played by none other than that spiffy satarist, ObamaGirl. I realize that now that the election has occurred, this is old news. But after the little clip ended, I laughed for a long time. Not sure why.
Putin: I’ve come to take Alaska back, for Mother Russia.
Palin: Not on my watch! [She does brutal judo moves on his ass, giving him a bloody nose – this is ironic, given that Putin holds a black belt in judo]
Putin: [grinning] You have strooong thighs, like Russian bear.
Caveat: 행복하길바래
I keep trying to learn songs I don’t particularly like. It doesn’t progress well.
Here is a youtube of a popular song I genuinely like a lot. But there’s no way I can imagine singing it… it’s very operatic in its original presentation, not the sort of thing suited by my untrained and lousy singing voice. But I’m working on the lyrics simply because it’s on heavy rotation on my MP3 player, so I like to try to follow along.
The singer, 임형주, is what’s called a “popera star.” So I assume the style is Korean popera. Which is sort of what it sounds like. I’m not sure if it’s really a seperate genre. I found the song attached to a drama I watched.
Here are the lyrics, with translation, that I fished off the interwebs.
Title: 행복하길 바래
Singer: 임형주
그 눈속에서 너는 또 다른 곳을 보며 울었어..
그러는 니가 너무 미워서 나도 따라 울었어..
그리워 난 니가 너무 찢기도록 나 아파도
나 죽어서도 내 사랑으로 너 행복하길 바래..
힘이들어 돌아보면 나 거기에 늘 있는걸
그 곳에다 남겨두고 온 니 눈물 때문에..
나 떠난 자리에 너 혼자 둘수 없어..
있었던게.. 이제는 널 너무 사랑해..
갈수 없는 이율 댔어..
그리워 난 니가 너무 찢기도록 나 아파도..
나 죽어서도 내 사랑으로 너 행복하길 바래..
너 행복하길 바래.. 행복하길 바래..
Translation:
You turn your head and crying
I hate you being like this, that’s why I’m crying too
I’m missing you, missing you so much that I’m hurt
Hope you’ll be happy with my love even if I’m dead
Haaa…..
Turn your head if you’re tired, I’ll be there
Because I left your tears behind
I left you first because I don’t want to see you alone…
Since now I can’t love you anymore
I’m missing you so much that I’m hurt
I hope you’ll be happy with my love even if I’m dead
I Hope you’ll be happy….hope you’ll be happy
Caveat: Minor Chords
Sometimes I log into Second Life and mindlessly drift around. It’s a virtual universe, often mistakenly called a “game” but in fact more like a shopping mall for everyone’s id–there’s no plot, no objective, no theme. Just everyone’s craziness touching up against one another, kind of like in real life, but without the social risk, maybe.
I’ve adopted a “skeleton” avatar. See picture. I go to virtual nightclubs and learn about new Industrial / Gothic music, which perhaps appeals to me because of the predominance of minor chords. My skeleton dances to the music. See picture. Sometimes I take note of music I like, and go searching for it in a torrent (the latest way to download things for free, basically). I’ve found a new band I like, with the stunningly fabulous name of Apoptygma Berzerk. I’m stuck on a song called “Kathy’s Song.” I’ve embedded a youtube of it, below.
A lot of gothic/industrial stuff is European–especially German and Nordic. One group I rather like is Cephalgy, and their song “Hass Mich” (I couldn’t find a youtube of it). I’ve never quite puzzled out the relationship between Goth/House music and German culture, though I suppose the overlap is related to the Weltschmerz they share. Then again, I’ve got my own dukkha going, at the moment. The Koreans call it 고 (苦).
Then you hear something old, like Joy Division’s “Love will tear us apart.”
I’m hating work, but I really feel that quitting short of contract would leave me feeling more depressed than just putting up with it. I don’t deal well with feelings of failure. The weather has turned deliciously cool and fall-like. Leaves are turning color and swimming around in clear air. The clouds are no longer hazy, but fractally bounded complex objects adrift in simpsonian skies. So, at least walking to work is pleasant.
I’m gaining weight–probably related to how cortisol (stress hormone) alters my metabolism, as I’ve not changed my eating habits at all.
My stock portfolio is now officially down more than 50%. Yay capitalism!
The Korean won is now down 50% relative to where it was when I came here. Yay capitalism!
Caveat: OK this is cool
I always knew amazing things were possible. But with Scotch-tape? Wow.
Caveat: Hundertwasser
I was surfing wikipedia earlier and discovered an Austrian architect named Hundertwasser I’d never before heard of, but whose work is very interesting to me–in the same vein as Gaudi, I’d say. The building at right is not by him. But it shares a few stylistic elements.
I wonder if one can become a successful architect late in life? Has it ever been done?
When I was a child, I was certain I wanted to become an architect, and I held fairly fast to that ambition until the summer after my graduation from high school. I worked for a civil engineering office and became intimidated by the sheer magnitude of number crunching that successful structural design seemed to involve. And I was too committed, at that time, to understanding not just the design ideas but the engineering principles to even consider become an “art”-type architect (i.e. one who doesn’t do the engineering parts). And from that time until now, I’ve never had much clarity of ambition.
-Notes for Korean-
context: a song lyric
이런=such, such..as, of this kind
마음=idea, thought, mind,
이런 내 마음 알고 있나요
=such my thought understand-PROGRESSIVE-CONJECTURE-POLITE
=[?] I wonder if I am understanding
고백=confession, admission
Caveat: Stonking Quantities of Dosh
The Tory candidate for Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, uttered the phrase "stonking quantities of dosh" (meaning, roughly, "large amounts of money") in a recent discussion on the issue of the vast income inequalities in the British capital. It's a very memorable and colorful turn of phrase, and very much worth memorializing. So there you have it.
Caveat: Oh Hay Lite
LOLCat is a sort of name for that weird dialect of internetchatese that is only semiliterate, is full of acronyms (such as LOL = laughing out loud) and contains lots of both deliberate and accidental "cute" misspellings. And, just as someone, somewhere, is translating the Bible into Klingon, so it is the case, I have discovered, that someone is working hard to translate that same document into LOLCat.
Here are the first three verses of John:
1 In teh beginz is teh cat macro, and teh cat macro sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh cat macro iz teh Ceiling Cat.2 Teh cat macro an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins. 3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."
More internet wackiness: Check out Happy Tree Friends – but don't bring your children, these things are quite violent.
Caveat: SpongeBob Lumberjack
I just learned that Stephen Hillenburg, the creator of SpongeBob Squarepants, is an alum of Humboldt State University – which, broadly speaking, is a sort of "first university" for me – though only by the broadest definition am I an actual alum, I do have credits from there, and I grew up practically on campus, as a child. Somehow it seems rather explanatory, that SpongeBob has roots – in a sense – in Humboldt.
Caveat: Me lavo el cerebro con la tele
“Todos los días me lavo el cerebro con la tele” = “Every day I wash my brain with the TV”. This is a quote from a photo of a piece of graffiti in Santiago, Chile, that I saw on a website covering street art called streetsy.com.
February grades are due today – I need to get some work done.
Caveat: Excuses and Psephology
"If he wins… Black people, we gonna have to come up with another excuse." – Comedian Wanda Sykes. This is one of those jokes that only a black person – such as Wanda – is allowed to say.
Indeed, I may be treading on the edge of offensiveness merely by quoting it. But I'll give it a try, because it seemed funny to me, at the time I heard it.
I learned a new word this evening: psephology – the statistical study of elections. I rather like this word, for some reason. Not as much as mereological, though. I wonder, what would it mean to practice mereological psephology? I'll do some research.
Caveat: Tofu Brings Magic Happy
This is not a real advertisement, I don’t think.
I suspect something subversive going on, vis-a-vis Korea’s fraught relationship with Japan and Japanese culture, but I can’t quite figure it out.
The little baby tofu is screaming “we’re delicious!”
In other news, the Namdaemun (Seoul’s historic South Gate) burned down over the weekend. Despite having survived innumerable wars and invasions since 1398! And I posted a picture here in this blog only a few months back. Hmmm.
Caveat: Ook!
"Ook!" is what is known as an "esoteric programming language." I've developed a certain passing fascination for these constructs, which I've pursued in my wikipediasurfing. There are various kinds, but what they share is a certain in-jokey relationship to the practices of theoretical computer science.
Another esoteric language I particularly like is "whitespace" – a programming language that allows you to write code using nothing but ASCII whitespace characters, such as tab, space, and linefeed. It then treats all other characters as its own whitespace, thus allowing you to, in theory, embed a secret whitespace program into the code of some other (slightly) more conventional programming language – perhaps "Ook!"
Meanwhile, I've also been pursuing research into xenotheology – the study of alien belief systems, I guess. Obviously, since we don't know anything about aliens (yet), this is a strictly hypothetical-based pursuit. But fascinating. What do aliens believe? Or rather, what would they believe, if they existed? How will what aliens believe interact with what humans believe, in a potential first-contact situation? Will we be evangelized? Will they be? Would human religions as currently structured survive a first contact with an equally (but differently) religious but alien civilization? I suspect some religions would cope better with aliens than others – especially those currently "fringe" religions that have a belief in aliens (or other worlds/planets), etc., already embedded in their dogmas: e.g. scientology or, most notably, mormonism. All of which is to say, which president would you rather have handling a sticky alien first-contact situation: President Romney or President Huckabee?
Caveat: Subway Maps
I discovered a website this evening that features subway maps (and descriptions and histories) from everywhere in the world. I managed to waste an immense amount of time there. So the interesting question is, what city has the largest subway, that you've never heard of?
Caveat: Original of Laura
Vladimir Nabokov, one of the great writers of the recently ended century, left an unfinished manuscript when he died, which is called “The Original of Laura.” He had explicitly requested that it be destroyed, and now, years later, his son (Dmitri Nabokov) can’t decide whether to go through with it or not.
Nabokov, of course, is famous for the novel Lolita. Personally, I like both Pale Fire and Ada much better – especially Ada, with its alternate-universe North America which seems partly inhabited by vaguely frenchified tsarist Russians. I would be fascinated to read a “lost” work of the author’s, but something about respecting a person’s last wishes comes into play too. Dmitri is stuck with a terrible dilemma.
Meanwhile… here is building I saw a while back, a few blocks from here on the other side of the Jeongbalsan (Jeongbal hill).
Caveat: It’s raining helmets… and the Mexican snowplow squadron
I looked up at my television a while ago, which I had on on some Korean channel. I saw a man on a motorcycle, he looked like a zombie. He had a passenger riding behind him. Suddenly it began to rain a large number motorcycle helmets from the sky. The driver of the motorcycle was struck by one of the falling helmets. The television had my attention.
It was apparently the scene from a movie – the show was some movie review show, where they show clips of movies and talk about them, but, since it was in Korean, I didn’t really have much ability to capture what this movie was. But the scenes were pure magic realism, and I was captivated. There was a scene where a woman was reading a white book that fell on her from the sky. And a scene where an immense number of empty plastic bottles and containers (ie. trash) was growing into a giant pile in the center of some huge city. It grew to such large size it towered over the skyline of the city, like a mountain. People went and climbed and had picnics on it, enjoying the view. And could throw their empty containers over their shoulders – so convenient!
So. I had to know what this movie was. Hmm… how to search? Google. I typed in “falling helmets” and “movie”. I found a blog about movies – some woman in Minneapolis, of all places. And lo, there it was: Citizen Dog (Mah nakorn) – a Thai movie from 2004.
That, and yesterday’s snow, has me thinking about a story I started once – my own little foray into magic realism. Like everything I’ve tried to write, it never got finished. The story is set in my familiar haunts in Mexico City. It starts on a morning I actually experienced, when I emerged one chilly morning from the Casa to see it snowing. Of course it quickly changed to rain – it doesn’t really snow in Mexico City – except on the higher elevations surrounding: Desierto de los leones, or Tres Marias.
But then my little story diverges: in the story, it never stops snowing. Partly, I was influenced by headlines of a freak snowstorm in northern Mexico – Durango / Chihuahua / Cd Juarez, which had recently received several feet. I had been obsessing on the concept of hardworking squadrons of Mexican snowplows. I thought ‘the Mexican snowplow squadron’ might be a great name for a rock band.
Back to the story. For forty days and nights it snows. Of course, this means utter social chaos and human tragedy writ large across the hyperinflationary, delamadridista Mexico City of the 1980s. And meanwhile, snowbound in some small non-profit casa de huespedes, the main characters find friendship, love and meaning. Really, I was trying to write this. Once. Several times.
Caveat: “how many times can this train wreck wreck?”
The above is a quote from a blog on the New York Times website, talking about Britney Spears. I was doing some random web surfing… honestly, I don't really care that much about Britney. But I was immediately impressed with the twisted and unusual phrasing of the question, which uses 'wreck' as both a noun and verb, in sequence. I love things like that.
So. I'm so glad people use language creatively, even when discussing Britney's latest crisis. It gives me hope. In a weird way.
Caveat: surreptitious haggle
I receive quite a bit of spam. Like most people, I'm sure. But I received one this evening that seems exceptional.
First of all, like some of the best spam, it is clearly the output of some random word generation/selection algorithm, and ends up seeming like a fragment of avant garde poetry.
But what really stands out about it, is that it doesn't appear to be selling anything at all. There were no attachments. There's no embedded plea for financial help for a Nigerian, nor is there any recommendation for any "hot" stock or link to any enhancement-drug-selling website.
So… is this spam-for-spam's-sake? Spam-as-a-public-service, like the poetry they put on city buses some places? Spam-as-occult-message-from-another-dimension? Should I try to decipher it and discover the hidden meaning of life? It's begging me to. Is it the work of the Azerbaijani tourist bureau (note the dead links on the word "baku")?
Here is the complete text of spam:
surreptitious haggle
suppressible coachmen baku flathead dissuade cutthroatprecinct cutthroat dissuade idiosyncratic idiosyncratic middleweightindividualism drop brazilian idiosyncratic articulatory harshen dutiable haul summit dutiable purlpogo guidance articulatory drop articulatory precinct handout baku botch thee remorsefulhomage coachmen dowager botch middleweight summit
Caveat: No caveats
Totally lazy day… reading, listening to the radio. I decided to take a little one day break from doing anything at all. So… this is a very peremptory entry, I guess. Just to be consistent.
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I`ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I`ve told you I`m a beautiful princess, that I`ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won`t you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I`m an engineer. I don`t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that`s cool."
Caveat: More Nonsense, or Immanent Cybersoul?
In other news: I found a blog that is stunningly bizarre. Go take a look at it. I dare you. [Update: the link is dead. The strange blog has disappeared. Which supports the spam theory, below.]
OK then. I’d like to hope that it is some kind of strange inside joke. Or the product of a random text generator of some kind, like that Kant engine I found some time back (see my blog entry from 2006.05.02). Or, at the least, I hope it is the output of some weird automated translation engine, from some profoundly syntactically un-English language.
Actually, I think it must be the output of some kind of automated, text-spewing tool: a database-driven textual abstraction engine of some kind? a spider-phisher (meaning a tool for attracting the attention of automated internet indexers, such as Google)?
But part of me enjoys imagining that there is a real, human author of the blog, who is actually sharing the poorly edited contents of his/her actual brain. I mean… what a remarkably strange brain that must be, to be inside of!
Actually, another thought occurs to me: this is an emergent symptom of a new, global, incipient cybersubconscious. Immanent (imminent?) oversoul of humankind. I’m sure some of you will be quite skeptical… but let’s think about it.
The internet today is an almost unmeasurably large text. Borges’s infinite library, maybe. But it is not just a passive text, sitting there for all of us internet-connected readers to read. It is also inhabited by a seething, swarming plethora of text-reading and text-generating machines (e.g. google-spiders and spambots, respectively). A vast ecosystem of predators and prey, living and dying, battling and fortifying, all in a text-based universe. The word made virtual flesh, but not incarnate. There be dragons.
So it is an unmeasurably large text in constant dialogue with itself – if not particularly self-aware dialogue, if not particularly meaningful dialogue, it is nevertheless a huge babbling demon. A giant idiotic infinitely schizophrenic mind. Grendel ruminates incoherently in his deep. The internet becomes humanity collectively dreaming.
Caveat: nonsense
I spent part of the day, yesterday, reading blogs. I really don't do that, very often. I had discovered (or, more likely, re-discovered) a review of the "Sokal affair" in which a physics professor at NYU had "hoaxed" the pomo (postmodernist) publication "Social Text" by sending in an article full of jargony BS and the editors let it through. It was quite a scandal, as it allegedly proved just how vacuous pomo discourse really is – it was an "emperor has no clothes" moment.
I also discovered an interesting little website that randomly generates a pomo article each time you refresh the page. A lovely tool, but my first thought was – I bet some of the things that get said are really profound. It's kind of like an instantiation of Borges' infinite library, for a particular type of discourse. Another tool that has similar functionality is the Kant generator. Again, my reaction, more than – wow, random BS! – is, instead – I wonder if this can generate real meaning? Finally, there is a random generator of CSCI research papers made by some people at MIT. Infinite monkeys, infinite typewriters, all that.
Regardless, a review of the Sokal affair caused me to question the pomo allegiances I tend to take for granted in myself. My affairs with Jameson, Deleuze, et al. Are they really that impenetrable? Or, contrariwise, am I really so deleuzional as to believe I "get" what they're trying to say?
Currently I'm struggling through a kind of phase where I question just about everything – about what I believe, about what I want to do, about what I like to do. Ad infinitum. So why no question what philosophical / lit. crit. authors I take seriously, too?
I have no answers, here. Nor even any profound, clearly-expressed doubts. But I think back to Jean-Jacques LeCercle's Philosophy of Nonsense: just because it's nonsense, doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything. There's value and, ironically, meaning to be found in nonsense. It's a worthwhile pursuit in and of itself. So if the pomos are writing nonsense, maybe they've got a reason for it.