Caveat: Голубая тетрадь

Голубая тетрадь

Жил один рыжий человек,
у которого не было глаз и ушей. У него
не было и волос, так что рыжим его называли
условно.
Говорить он не мог, так как у
него не было рта. Носа тоже у него не
было.
У него не было даже рук и ног. И
живота у него не было, и спины у него не
было, и хребта у него не было, и никаких
внутренностей у него не было. Ничего не
было! Так что непонятно, о ком идет
речь.
Уж лучше мы о нем не будем больше
говорить.

Даниил Иванович Хармс
(1937)

 

Blue
Notebook

Once there lived a red-haired man who lacked eyes and
ears.
Ha was also lacking all hair, so he was called red-haired
only with a large degree of
generalization.
He couldn’t speak,
as he was lacking a mouth. The same with his nose.
Even arms and
legs, he just didn’t have any. Nor stomach, nor backside, nor
spine.
And no intestine. He didn’t have anything! Therefore it is
totally
unclear who is being discussed.
In fact, let’s not talk
about him anymore. 

– Daniil Khams (translation
unattributed but link provided)

My Russian is so rusty that I really can’t read it. But it’s entertaining to try.


What I’m listening to right now.

Trentemøller, “Miss You.”

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Caveat: Only To Eat

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Bizarre and pointless things found on the internet: “Pizza’s the bomb, but only to eat.”

[UPDATE: there was a video linked here but I have no idea what it showed. The internet made it disappear. Yay internet.]

Conclusion: “You’re an idiot.”

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Caveat: Total Precipitable Water GIF

These things are very cool. Total atmospheric “precipitable water” (i.e. water suspended in the air) above each ocean point, presented by Univ of Wisconsin.

It’s animated – click on it.

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I found them here, after following a link from xkcd – of course (see previous post).

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Caveat: Cluck and Drug

I thought it would be a short-lived joke, when I landed on the recent xkcd cartoon and it said, in the pop-up text, “click and drag.”

I cluck and drug. And cluck and drug. And 30 minutes later I was still clicking and dragging. Very entertaining. Follow the link – it doesn’t embed very well.

My favorite gem: after scrolling down and down and down and down there were these people trapped in a hole. They were hoping someone would friend them on facebook or twitter.

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Caveat: Problem 63

pictureI was reading a very funny list of speculation regarding Jay-Z’s 99 problems.

As a sample, here is item 63:

Worries about experience of no sense of ‘place’ or ‘home’; feelings of belonging ‘nowhere,’ esp. in regard to American and European cities which lead to a sort of uncanny experience of ‘floating’ and meaninglessness at each house purchased.

I recommend the entire list.

What I’m listening to right now.

Jay-Z, “99 Problems.”

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Caveat: The Snoop Dogg of Science

One of my coworkers showed me this. I need to show my students. It’s pretty funny – there are some well-written nerd-jokes embedded in it, too.

pictureIt has given me a kind of brainstorm idea for a “fun” debate class unit: rap battles. I need to pursue this.

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Caveat: Incompetent Robots Make The Best Teachers

pictureIt has been confirmed by research that incompetent robots make the best teachers – see this article at the New Scientist. This seems to make the task of automating my profession less challenging, and it may also explain the success of so many flesh-and-blood teachers, in a rather oblique way.

Well. We shall see.


What I’m listening to right now.

Space Buddha, “Mental Hotline.” Israeli psytrance.

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Caveat: शिला

pictureThere is a philosopher named Justin E. H. Smith whose blog I sometimes read. Lately, he’s been studying Sanskrit, and so he recently wrote a composition in Sanskrit. I can’t read Sanskrit – I studied it for a few weeks a few decades ago, and I can barely even remember how to decipher the writing system. But I can sympathize with and relate to the idea of trying to write an interesting or creative composition in a language one is only just beginning to master – consider a few of the horribly bad and embarrassingly juvenile efforts I’ve made at putting up blog posts in Korean (which I won’t even link to here, because I’m too embarrassed).
But in fact, in reading his translation back to English of his Sanskrit composition, I got to thinking. The composition – his little parable of the stone – is excellent. As is so often the case, operating within very tight constraints can lead to very good writing – in this case, the constraint of working in a language one doesn’t know well. I can’t judge the quality of the Sanskrit – perhaps it’s full of grammatical errors or mis-used vocabulary. But the English version is compelling. I will reproduce it here.

शिला
एकदासित् शिला । एतायाः शिलायाः पदाः न सन्ति स्म, न नेत्रेपि, न श्रवने, न लोमचर्मनम्, न वदनम् । शिला गन्तुं न शक्नोति स्म, प्रानितुं न शक्नोति स्म, खदितुं न शक्नोति स्म, न किं अपि कर्तुं शक्नोति स्म । परन्तु एतायाः शिलायाः जिवात्मन् अस्ति स्म । सातिवाकुशलिन्यासित् । एक्स्मिन् दिने पक्शिनि शिलायायाम् उपविशति स्म । पक्शिनि झटित्यनुभवत् यत् शिला जिवितासित् । सोक्तवति : “भो शिला” इति, “तव किं अभवत् । शिलाः केवलम् अजिवनि वस्तुनि सन्ति” । शिला प्रत्युक्तोवति : “धिक् ! अहं न जानामि किं मम अभवत् । अहं शिलास्मि । गन्तुं न शकनोमि । प्रानितुं न शक्नोमि । खदितुं न शक्नोमि । न किं चित् कर्तुं न शक्नोमि । अहं केवलम्  वस्तुवस्मि । मया न जीतव्यम् । न जानामि अपि कुतः अहं विशयः एतायाः कथायाः अस्मि” इति । पक्शिनि उक्तोवति : “तद्विशये चिन्ता मस्तु । गन्तुं नातिव सु्नदरम् अस्ति । अहं च नितरम् बुबुक्शास्मि । तव जीवनम् सुलभम् अस्ति । त्वया केवलम् चिन्तयितव्यम् च ध्यनम् कर्तव्यम् च । भूमिः तव भार्यास्ति । चिन्तनम् तव भोजनम् अस्ति । सुन्दरम् एतत् जिवनम्” इति । एतैः शब्दैः पक्शिनि समुत्पतति स्म । शिला पुन एककिन्यासित् । कुशलिन्यासित् । सा तस्या भार्याम् अलिन्गति स्म च भोजनम् खदति स्म च । भक्शणम् कृत्वा प्रस्वपिति स्म च स्वपनम् पक्शगमस्य विशये करोति स्म च ।
The Stone
Once there was a stone. This stone had no feet, no eyes, no ears, fur, or face. It could not move, could not breath, could not eat, could not do anything at all. But this stone had a soul. It was very unhappy. One day a bird landed on it. The bird immediately sensed that the stone was alive. It said: “Hey, stone! What’s with you? Stones are only non-living things.” The stone replied: “What a pity! I don’t know what’s with me. I am a stone. I cannot move. I cannot breath. I cannot eat. I cannot do anything at all. I am only a thing. It is not for me to live. I do not even know why I am the subject of this story.” The bird said: “Don’t worry about it. Moving is not so wonderful. And I’m always hungry. Your life is easy. You just have to think and meditate. The earth is your wife. Thoughts are your food. What a nice life.” With these words the bird flew away. The stone was again alone.  It was happy. It embraced its wife and had a meal. Having eaten, it went to sleep and dreamt of flying.

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Caveat: the austerians of reactionary Keynesianism

picture“Once upon a time Republicans were tax collectors for the welfare state. Now Democrats are the austerians of reactionary Keynesianism.” – Corey Robin

There’s a lot going on in that quote, so if you want to understand it, I recommend Robin’s essay at Crooked Timber. It’s pretty in-depth – but a good historical analysis of the way the Republicans and Democrats have evolved over the last several generations, such that modern Democrats more closely resemble Republicans of 50 years ago than they do historical Democrats. And not to everyone’s benefit.

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Caveat: karma w/ odd icons

pictureThis image (at right)  was shared by a friend of mine in facebookland, and I “liked” it there, but it’s grown on me, so I decided to curate it here, too.

The concept is awesome, if somewhat simple. I don’t really like the “cleanse” metaphor – it is part of what I call the “purity ideology” that I view as damaging to human mental health. But I like the individual suggestions.

It’s the icons that have grown on me.  My aunt Janet said they were odd. I agree. But they’re also interesting. They’re thought-provoking. A cloud for greatfulness? The heart for love is simple enough, I guess. But lightning for checking motives? How’s that work? What’s it mean? And a price-tag for attitude? Priceless! Uh… maybe.

The best is an umbrella for “forgive.” How perfect is that?

Now when I open my umbrella, I’ll think of forgiveness.

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Caveat: Improbable Possibilities

There’s an artist named Ward Shelley, who does this interesting thing where he makes hand-made “timelines” and data visualizations – the kind found in history books, but sometimes on strange or unusual or unexpected topics. I really like his stuff. Here’s a timeline of the history of science fiction:

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He calls these things “diagrammatic paintings.” Also, here’s an interesting quote,

The relationship of science fiction to belief is ambiguous but in some
way essential. Science fiction deals with improbable possibilities. It
has that in common with religion and patriotism, except SF is much more
candid about it.

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Caveat: Not Swedish

I recently saw an article on The Atlantic that explained that the muppet known as the Swedish Chef does not, in fact, speak Swedish. Well, of course not. But that hasn’t stopped some Swedish guy from “transcribing” his talk. Sample:

[UPDATE: sadly this video has disappeared. No replacement can be found. Yay internet!]

I like it mostly for the linguistic aspect. But he’s kind of funny, too – especially the turtle.

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Caveat: Memorializing the Time Travelers of London

I ran across the image below of what looks like a memorial plaque somewhere in London.

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It’s funny.

I also experienced this funny cartoon, below.

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These things are unrelated, except as being basically nerd-humor. I guess today, I’m nerdier than usual.

I’m predicting a very lazy Sunday for myself.

What I’m listening to right now.

Cephalgy, “Du bist das Licht.” Why do I listen to German goth-rock? I can’t answer that.

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Caveat: Aargh’s New Career

Oh this looks truly entertaining.

pictureThe blurb from the video:

Aargh. Once a successful actor and a true shooting star in Japan. Today he is beginning his new job at the Berlin zoo. What has happened? He is accompanied by the film crew on his first day of work at the Zoo where he is faced with new colleagues and challenges on the one hand and fighting prejudice and overcoming obstacles on the other.

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Caveat: Macaronic

“Macaronic” means a text that mixes languages for comedic effect. It’s deliberate, pun-based code-switching, in linguistics terms. My students do it, when they hear English that “sounds funny” to them in their Korean ears, and they will suddenly start repeating some random word or phrase that I’ve said and laughing, no doubt because it sounds like something in Korean that’s funny. I can’t think of an example at the moment, but I have these moments constantly in my classes.

I ran across a macaronic poem mixing Latin and English while browsing the Language Log blog – a commenter had posted a poem by A.D. Godley entitled “Motor Bus” to an original posting about the syllabuses/syllabi debate. It’s a play on the fact that “motor” and “bus” are both words of Latin origin (although truncated and changed) and therefore they might be required to participate in the complex Latin morphology in a multilingual discussion of motor buses.

pictureWhat is this that roareth thus?
Can it be a Motor Bus?
Yes, the smell and hideous hum
Indicat Motorem Bum!
Implet in the Corn and High
Terror me Motoris Bi:
Bo Motori clamitabo
Ne Motore caedar a Bo—
Dative be or Ablative
So thou only let us live:—
Whither shall thy victims flee?
Spare us, spare us, Motor Be!
Thus I sang; and still anigh
Came in hordes Motores Bi,
Et complebat omne forum
Copia Motorum Borum.
How shall wretches live like us
Cincti Bis Motoribus?
Domine, defende nos
Contra hos Motores Bos!

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Caveat: mera globalización

Encontré un blog que incluye fotos del DF con varios comenatarios cortos pero interesantes. El subtítulo: "Apuntes gráficos sobre el espacio público del DF (Ciudad de México). Cualquier semejanza con otro lugar, es mera globalización…" Me gusta esta frase "mera globalización." Tiene un tono muy chilango.

El mismo autor, Israel López Belán, tiene otro blog de lo que llama "haiku urbano" que también me parece interesante proyecto. Algunos ejemplares del haiku:


2.8.09

ciudad de méxico –
a donde sea que voy
la luna

29.8.09
borde de ciudad –
el autobús donde viajo
reflejado en las fachadas

26.9.09
mojados por la lluvia
un perro callejero y yo –
anochecer

[Daily log: walking, 2 km]

Caveat: Class Warfare

picture“There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.” – Warren Buffet, in an interview with Ben Stein in 2006.

When the richest man on the planet admits that there is such thing as class warfare, the class-warfare-denialists lose plausibility.

[Daily log: walking, 3 km]

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Caveat: Graphing Everything

This guy is graphing everything.

Well, everything in wikipedia.

Well, everything in wikipedia that has an “influenced by” section. It’s really cool, though. Go look at it.

Guess which wikipedia thing has the most “influenced by” connections to everything else? The giant red globe in the center-right of the close-up I’ve screenshotted, below.

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Our nihilist-in-chief. Yay.

Hmm.

What I’m listening to right now.

Snow Patrol, “Called Out In The Dark.”

[Daily log: walking, 3 km]

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Caveat: Sleeping on the job

Koreans are good at sleeping anytime, anywhere. It’s because they practice sleep-deprivation in their jobs and schools at a scale I’ve only ever witnessed in US culture during basic training in the US Army. I recently ran across a picture taken, apparently, at the national legislature at Yeouido (in Seoul).

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There’s something truly awesome about this picture. Even the legislature looks just like a subway car or business office during break time.

The picture was found at a posting on Nate (a Korean web content portal) entitled 여의도의 흔한 피씨방 [Yeouidoui heunhan pissibang = the many PC-rooms of Yeouido], roughly equivalent to saying “Hey, there’s internet-cafes around capitol hill” (see the other pictures there to understand what this means – most of the pictures are of the various inappropriate things the legislators do with their PCs during sessions).

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Caveat: … more like …

Mitt Romney said, “We want America to be more like America.” I certainly can see this as an achievable aspiration. We want our presidential candidates to set realistic goals, right?

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(The picture above is an AP picture circulating on the web. Is posting it here and saying that fair use? I have no idea.)

But meanwhile, Australia is seeming more like Legoland. See picture below.

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Caveat: Gatorrada

Cat's always land on their feet.

Buttered toast always lands butter-side down.

Think about. We can solve the world's energy needs. Here's a Brazilian commercial for an energy drink, that explains.

Caveat: Dreamhater

I wish I could think something clever or pithy or bitingly sarcastic to write here, in response to this guy, Michael Chabon, who writes in the New York Review of Books that he hates dreams, and singles out fictional dreams for special hating.

But I can't think of anything clever to write. Just that he's kind of an asshole, as far as I can tell. I wanted to think there was something sarcastic or ironic or inverted in his little rant, but I can't find it.

Perhaps I should say, "This guy hates dreams; I hate him." But that's about as banal as what he wrote, isn't it? Oh… whatever. I'm stretching for a blog entry here, obviously. I wanted to document this obnoxious bit of internetalia.

Caveat: On Justice Roberts and ObRomneyCare

I'm not sure that Roberts' siding with the constitutionality of ACA is a good thing. First and foremost, because I'm not sure there's much that's progressive about the ACA – it's always struck me as being so compromised with the insurance industry and the status quo that it wasn't likely to really offer much genuine reform. All Roberts has shown is that he will take the side of corporations – which we already knew from e.g. Citizens United. And as many commentators have already pointed out, he nevertheless managed to reject that the ACA was valid due to the Commerce Clause in the Constitution, calling the mandate fines a tax instead. As a result, he's provided ammunation to the Republicans who can attack Obama as "tax-and-spend" – thus doing Obama no favors while nevertheless avoiding besmirching the court's allegedly non-partisan reputation. He gets the best of both worlds, and plants the seeds for further erosion of the Commerce Clause.

One blog, Stop Me Before I Vote Again, had what I found to be a bitter, cynical, but largely accurate summary of what's going on with this. And one commentor on that blog post, going by the name "Picador," had a thought that I feel is worth quoting:

Roberts has actually done us a favour here: he's pulled back the curtain a bit on the whole "government of enumerated powers" illusion. His decision is perfectly in line with legal precedent: after all, the government essentially already has an individual mandate for every citizen to buy a predator drone or a cluster bomb from a defence contractor (stored and maintained by the CIA and US Army, of course), so why not health insurance too? Once the power to tax is unrestricted, do you really even need the commerce clause anymore?

Indeed. Via our taxes, we've been mandated to support a vast, planetary-scale war-machine for decades. How is mandating that people buy healthcare coverage that different?

On a lighter note, the humor/meme site, Buzzfeed, has a posting of people who have – no kidding – announced via Twitter that they're moving to Canada due to their disgust with the creeping socialism in the U.S. This is hilarious.

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