Caveat: Teaching Bulgarian

You will be curious at this blog-post's title. Who is teaching Bulgarian?

I had a vivid, long dream last night. 

I was sitting at my new desk in the new building, and Jody handed me a new schedule. Lo and behold, there were many surprises on the schedule – changes that affected me but about which I'd heard nothing prior to that moment. So far, so realistic… this happens once a month or so. It's part of life-at-the-hagwon, the "zen" of working as a member of team where communication is never quite what one would hope, due to both linguistic and cultural issues. I try to just shrug at these things, though just yesterday, I had a minor "tantrum" about a change – perhaps that brought on the dream. But then it got weird.

Studying the schedule closely, however, I noticed, written under a middle school block, the characters "бълг". Was this some weird cyrillic typo?

I went to Jody and pointed at it. What's this? She shrugged, and said Curt put it there.

I went to Curt. He was in the hallway moving desks. This is not unrealistic, but the hallway looked like a Hongnong hallway, not a Karma 4.0 hallway. I was self-aware enough, in the dream, to be disconcerted by this. But I was too upset about the schedule mystery to worry about it.

I collared Curt and pointed at the schedule. What's this?

"Bulgarian," he bellowed, optimistically.

Bulgarian? Why would I be teaching Bulgarian to middle school students in Korea? 

Some parents requested it.

Ah, well, that's typical. Customer is king, and all that. Uh, another problem: I don't know Bulgarian.

Curt grinned at me. "You say you're a linguist. You can solve it."

I did see it as something of a challange. I downloaded a "Teach yourself Bulgarian" file from the internet, and printed out some copies. 

A few hours later, I'm in my classroom, which resembles a converted storage closet (not necessarily unrealistic). There is an annoying concrete column in the middle of the room, and I try to rearrange the desks so the students can see the whiteboard around it. 

My students show up. They are new students – unfamiliar faces. Two of them are speaking something slavic-sounding to each other. Hmm.

I had decided at the start that I would stick to honesty. So I make a long, detailed, impassioned speech, in English, explaining that I am their teacher and that I will guide them in learning Bulgarian, even though I don't know it myself. I don't mention, but have in mind, the fact that some Korean teachers of English are in fact not very good at English. It's not that different. 

In fact, possibly this is what the dream is about, in some indirect way?

That's where I woke up. I thought to myself, I should write this down.

 I wrote it down.

[daily log: walking, 6.5 km]

Caveat: Algae Buddha

Last week my student said she had to study "Algae Buddha." 

I was surprised. "What is algae buddha?" I asked.

She was disconcerted. She thought I should know. 

It went back and forth.

Finally, I learned she was trying to say "Algebra."

The problem is that epithentic vowel. It goes between the "b" and the "r," because Korean doesn't allow those two consonants to go together. Al-je-beu-ra. Then, the rules of Korean prosody being applied, the epithentic gets the emphasis. And so you get "algae buddha."

I told her I thought it was more interesting when I thought it was Algae Buddha.

[daily log: walking, 6 km]

Caveat: Sorting

We had no classes to day. We sorted and cleaned and sorted and cleaned. Karma re-opens tomorrow to students. Here is our new building – we're on the 2nd floor – with new orange sign and new logo too.

picture

[daily log: walking, 6.5 km]

Caveat: Hagwon Location #6

I worked today, moving Karma. As a memento, here is a picture of our new conference room with a bunch of books I helped shelve. 

picture

This will be the sixth location in the Hugok neighborhood where I have worked.

[daily log: walking, 7 km + 75 desks and miscellaneous boxes]

Caveat: 세살적 버릇 여든까지 간다

Yesterday my student cited this aphorism to me – he was trying to figure out how to say it in English. Having seen it before in my aphorism book, I actually was able to decipher his idea – I think without that, I’d have had no clue what his intended meaning was.

세살적 버릇 여든까지 간다
se.sal.jeok beo.reut yeo.deun.kka.ji gan.da
Three-years-MANNER habit eighty-UNTIL go-PRES
A habit of three years goes until eighty.

It means a childhood habit sticks with us for life. He was using it to explain why we can’t easily stop people from eating junk food.
[daily log: walking, 5.5 km; lifting boxes, 1 hr]

Caveat: Coming Down

This weekend, Karma is moving to a new location. I have to work through the weekend. Packing. Unpacking.

What I'm listening to, and suffering through, right now.

Willie Nelson, "Just a Little Old Fashioned Karma Coming Down."

Lyrics.

There's just a little old fashioned karma coming down
Just a little old fashioned justice going round
A little bit of sowing and a little bit of reaping
A little bit of laughing and a little bit of weeping
Just a little old fashioned karma coming down

Coming down, coming down
Just a little old fashioned karma coming down
It really ain't hard to understand
If you're gonna dance you gotta pay the band
It's just a little old fashioned karma coming down

There's just a little old fashioned karma coming down
Just a little old fashioned justice going round
A little bit of sowing and a little bit of reaping
A little bit of laughing and a little bit of weeping
Just a little old fashioned karma coming down

Coming down, coming down
Just a little old fashioned karma coming down
It really ain't hard to understand
If you're gonna dance you gotta pay the band
It's just a little old fashioned karma coming down
It's just a little old fashioned karma coming down

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: des anecdotes du jour

Two short classroom anecdotes:

In my Sirius반 of 2nd and 3rd grade elementary students, I have a student named Andy, who is somewhat hyper. He is always wiggling. He never stops. He often is contorting himself in strange ways, like an incompetent ballet dancer who drank too much coffee. Yesterday, another student, the much more staid and laid-back Chloe, was sitting in her chair and doing this weird routine of leaning forward and leaning back, swinging her legs. In Andy, I would over look it, but with her, it was out of character. "Are you OK," I asked.

Her simple answer was: "Andy style." Everyone laughed – it was clear what she meant.

Today, in my Honors반, I was pretty upset. They were goofing off and refusing to answer the speaking questions we were doing in the book. I guess the questions were boring, and after the long holiday, the kids were still in "play" mode. They would just make fart noises or shake their head or say no no no. I got mad – I said there's a time to play and a time to practice speaking questions, and now was a time to practice. "I'm really angry," I said. I was frustrated. But even when I'm annoyed, like that, I don't really yell or carry on – I tend to just get serious, stop joking around, and push the class harder.

A student complained. "If you are angry, why don't you yell at us like a normal teacher?" 

Thus I received a remarkably insightful encapsulation of how the Korean education system works.

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

 

Caveat: Time Passes, But Only Half a Beard

Over the little mini-vacation I had the last five days, I let my beard grow out. I was curious to see if I could do it – because of the radiation treatment 16 months ago, I lost most of the hair on the left side of my beard, but some stubble had me thinking it was coming back.

I was wrong. I grew half-a-beard, basically, with a few spots. It looked weird. I shaved this morning and went to work.

Moving forward, this is going to be a hellish couple of weeks, now – the vacation time is over. We have the regular end-of-month stress, compounded with physically relocating the hagwon next weekend to a new building. Ugh.


Unrelatedly, everyone needs a robot-writing-on-whiteboard clock.

[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]

Caveat: Find another planet, make the same mistakes

What I'm listening to right now.

Modest Mouse, "Lampshades on Fire." The lyrics made me think of one of my favorite books of all time, the children's classic [broken link! FIXME] The Wump World. Music by Modest Mouse always makes me remember driving across New Mexico with my brother in… hm, I forget what year that was. 2006?

Lyrics.

Mmm buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-duh-dah
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-dah

We’re all goin’, we’re all goin’

Well, the lampshade’s on fire when the lights go out
The room lit up and we ran about
Well, this is what I really call a party now
Packed up our cars, moved to the next town

Well, the lampshades’s on fire when the lights go out
This is what I really call a party now
Well, fear makes us really, really run around
This one’s done so where to now?

Our eyes light up, we have no shame at all
Well you all know what I’m talking’ about
Shaved off my eyebrows when I fall to the ground
So I can’t look surprised right now

Pack up again, head to the next place
Where we'll make the same mistakes
Burn it up, or just chop it down
Ah, this one's done so where to now?

Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-duh-dah
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-dah

We're all goin’, we're all goin’

Well, the lampshade's on fire when the lights go out
This is what I really call a party now
Well, fear makes us really, really run around
Ah, this one's done so where to now?


Our eyes light up, we have no shame at all
Well, you all know what I'm talkin’ about
The room lights up, well, we're still dancing around
We're havin’ fun, havin’ some for now

Pack up again, head to the next place
Where we'll make the same mistakes
Open one up and let it fall to the ground
Pile out the door when it all runs out

Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh-duh-dah
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh-duh-dah

We're all goin’, we're all goin’

We have spines in our bones
We'll eat your food, we'll throw stones

Oh, this is how it's always gone
And this is how it's goin’ to go

Well, we're the human race
We're goin’ to party out of this place
And then move on

Tough love

We'll kill you off and then make a clone
Yeah, we got spines, yeah, we have bones
This is how it's always gone
And this is how it's goin’ to go

As our feelings are getting hurt
Ah, we want you to do the work
Our ass looks great inside these jeans
Well, we all just don’t wanna’ clean

Oh, this is how it's always been
And this is how it's goin’ to be
So, you just move on

The air’s on fire so we’re movin’ on
Better find another one ‘cause this one’s done
Waitin’ for the magic when the scientists glow
To push, push, push, push, pull us up

Spend some time to float in outer space
Find another planet, make the same mistakes
Our mind’s all shattered when we climb aboard
Hopin’ for the scientists to find another door

[daily log: walking, km]

Caveat: Clouds as Landmarks

I am a bit of a cartography nerd – this is known by some people. I have been spending some of my vacation time playing around with some pretty elaborate map-drawing software. The tools I'm using are JOSM on OSM files (OSM is from openstreetmap.org, but you can create offline map files using that format, which is transparently xml and open source). They have created a completely open-source world map that rivals google maps in quality, and being open-source, the data-sets are queryable and downloadable, which is fun for cartography nerds. OSM is a pretty elaborate scheme – there are whole websites dedicated to explicating the intricacies, including the official OSM wiki.

Most of what's on the  wiki is strictly informational, and dry, reference-style prose, often evidently written by non-native-speakers of English (OSM's user-base seems to be in continental Europe and former Soviet bloc, as is true for many successful open-source platforms).

All of the preceeding, however, is merely by way of introduction. I ran across a very excellent bit of humor today in surfing the OSM wiki: a guy proposing a data standard for mapping clouds ("tagging" is the term of art for this type of data standard). His proposal begins as I quote below:

Tag:natural=cloud

Used to tag an area of clouds. Clouds are very prominent landmarks which can obscure the sky for people living underneath them. They also cause a loss of precision in the mapping of the area they cover, because they hide the surface of the earth on aerial imagery.

Under "related tags," he mentions: 

rainy=yes/no – is used to indicate if the cloud can cause rainfalls.

My understanding, in perusing the comment threads attached to this entry, is that the author intended an April Fool's joke. In any event, it appealed to my sense of humor, especially to find it so well-done in such a normally dry and unhumorous context as a software reference website.

I guess I spent the day vegetating in front of the internet. Not really a way to feel I was using my time positively. I'm need to stick to my "no internet rule for Sundays" tomorrow, I think. 

[daily log: walking, 13 m]

Caveat: Um Happy Lunar Newyear

Oops, I almost forgot to post to my blog. I have 10 minutes until midnight, and if I don't post to my blog, I will turn into a pumpkin. 

On second thought, that doesn't sound so bad.

Anyway.

Having days off discombobulates my sense of time. I was hacking something. Sometimes I am puzzled at my compulsion to solve useless problems on my computer in the least efficient means humanly conceivable. I think my family will recognize that I come by that tendency legitimately.

Goodnight.

[daily log: walking, what, on Lunar Newyears day? Where would I walk? I heard the Chinese released a special newyear's smog at Beijing, I'm sure it's headed this way – it can't be good to go outside and breath that, can it?]

Caveat: WWW via Teletypewriter

Here is a deliberately anachronistic approach to the World Wide Web, in celebration of its 25th anniversary. The WWW dates to 1990 and the work of Tim Berners-Lee at CERN. However, in this video, a rather deadpan presenter uses much older equipment, including a 1960s vintage teletype terminal, a rotary dial phone and an acoustic-coupling modem.

I will date myself by saying that even this older equipment is not entirely unfamiliar to me, for which I credit the fact that my uncle, enrolled in computer science classes in the early 1970s at the local university, took me along with him to learn about computers. Thus I have actually operated terminals quite similar to the ones shown, including doing some BASIC programming when I was 8 or 9 years old. I think it was on the DEC "mini computer" at the university ("mini" being a relative concept – it occupied a largish, excessively air-conditioned room in the computer science department, and had blinking lights on the front, just like in the movies. Its computing capacity was probably about the same as a modern "dumb" cell phone – not a smartphone, which exceeds the computing capacity of even supercomputers of that era.

I remember making a text-based "slot machine game" where it said "PRESS ANY KEY" and it would give an apparently random assortment of slot-machinish results, e.g. "BAR CHERRY LEMON" or "BAR BAR BAR". But I made it so that I could manipulate the results to increase my chances of winning depending on which "ANY KEY" I chose to PRESS, in an utterly undocumented way. It was a kind of rudimentary "easter egg" (a term of art among programmers and hackers) wrapped in a pointless game. I would press the various keys for hours, watching the statistical variations in the output. I suppose it gave me a good intuitive grounding in statistics, although it wasn't until university that I realized that's what I had been doing.

I also enjoyed playing a text-based "Star Trek" game that was wildly popular in the 1970s on mainframes (many javascript "ports" of the game are available, for example here), in the pre-home-computer era. Later, when my uncle acquired an Apple ][, I believe it had some version of that Star Trek  game, too, but I moved on to Hamurabi, and later Space Invaders when he shelled out for a graphics card for the Apple.

[daily log: walking, km]

 

Caveat: 5-day weekend… whaa?

Well, Curt must be getting generous or something. Korean Lunar New Year's day (설날) falls on a Thursday, this year – the day after tomorrow. By Korean tradition, this means Wednesday and Friday off. In past times, when this kind of holiday happened this way, on a Thursday, I would still have to work Saturday. This year, we're getting Saturday off, too. I feel surprised. I don't think I've had so many days off in a row since I was getting radiation treatment and was too sick to work. 

Well, so, everyone is always so disappointed with my disinterest in "doing anything" for my time off. What would I do – get stuck in traffic travelling somewhere? No thanks. 

I'll be a hermit. Practicing for my career in the monastery. Updates coming soon.

Anyway, I have to rest up, since next week, after the holiday, I have to work through the weekend, because Karma is moving to a new location, and the big move will be on Sunday, to minimize disruptions to the teaching schedule. 

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Collaborative Whiteboard Drawing

My phonics student Jaehui and I had a collaborative drawing session on the whiteboard when class started today, because – due to the rain, I guess – the other students were late. 

picture

It was fun. More fun than the TEPS-M반 that came later, because they are a bunch of knuckleheads and put me in a bad mood.

[daily log: walking, 6 km]

Caveat: As your TV

Every Sunday is similar. I will start the day having some ambition to get some project done. I will fail in that ambition, because Sundays feel like "everything is optional."

Today, I opted to opt out. Suboptimal.

What I'm listening to right now. 

Zeromancer, "Philharmonic."

Lyrics.

Sit down and watch me
I want you to see me
As your TV, as your TV
As your TV, as your TV

Touched by your static
You see right, right through me
As your TV, as your TV
As your TV, as your TV

What you hide is what you are
What it takes to be a star, come on
You say there's beauty in a scar
Now what a stupid thing you are, sometimes

After you get what you want
You don't want it anymore
(Is that what you want?)
After you get what you want
You don't want it anymore
(Is that what you want?)

After you get what you want
You don't want it anymore
(Is that what you want?)
After you get what you want
You don't want it anymore

Slow down, zoom in
Rewind, do you get the picture?
Philharmonic
Philharmonic

As your TV
As your TV

What you hide is what you are
What it takes to be a star, come on
You say there's beauty in a scar
Now what a stupid thing you are, sometimes

Philharmonic
(After you get what you want)
(You don't want it anymore)
Philharmonic
(After you get what you want)
(You don't want it anymore)

Philharmonic
(After you get what you want)
(You don't want it anymore)
Philharmonic
(After you get what you want)
(You don't want it anymore)
Philharmonic, philharmonic

What you hide is what you are
What it takes to be a star, come on
You say there's beauty in a scar
Now what a stupid thing you are, sometimes

What you hide is what you are
What it takes to be a star, come on
You say there's beauty in a scar
Now what a stupid thing you are, sometimes
Philharmonic

[daily log: walking, 2 km]

Caveat: Long-time teachering

I had one of those moments that hammers home just how long I’ve been teaching now, in Korea – and most of that time, in this same Ilsan neighborhood called Hugok. A 3rd grader in my Sirius반, who goes by Gina, mentioned that she had an older sister who goes by Sunny, and she and I talked about Sunny for a few moments – Sunny is in middle school now but doesn’t attend Karma for her English. I remember Sunny very well, as her personality matched her English nickname. She was a bright and always optimistic student. But then Gina mentioned mention that I had taught her “other old sister” too: Irene. I drew a blank for a short moment, and the realized who she was talking about. “Irene” is now a university student. She was literally one of the first students I taught in Korea, as a member of my first group of 7th graders when I started at Tomorrow School. Later, with Ella and some others, she became a member of the original “princess mafia” – a group of middle school girls that was, perhaps, one of the first groups of students to give me the impression I was actually learning how to be a decent teacher.
“Oh… that’s right. Irene is your sister.” I said to Gina. She nodded. “Does she remember me much?”
Gina shook her head. “No. Sunny does, but not Irene.”
Well, figures.
Actually, I had a really excellent class today, with the way-too-big combined HS반. 16 kids. Debate class. It went well. They actually formed teams and put in effort.
picture
[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: The Machines Have Arrived

picture

As I was leaving for work today, I happened to walk past an open closet area near the lobby of my apartment building, and my eyes were drawn by a bunch of blinking lights – like Christmas tree lights. I thought, "why are they keeping a Christmas tree lit up in that storage room, but then I realized it was a bunch of blinking ethernet connectors. This, apparently, was my building's "switch room." I had a momentary thought, as I realized the vast majority of apartment buildings in Korea must have something like this, and the vast majority of Koreans live in apartment buildings. That's a lot of internet infrastructure. Staggering, even.

Meanwhile, a woman got attacked by a robotic vacuum cleaner. Actually, I suspect there may be some missing information, and, this being South Korea, I suspect that missing information involves alcohol. 

The machines have arrived.

I had a long day at work.

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: The State of the Hagwon 2015

We had a meeting today before work started, which I would describe as a kind of "State of the Union"-style presentation by our boss/owner, Curt. Of course, these kinds of things are in Korean… I can kind of follow the gist of it, much of the time, but details are lost on me. 

He seemed very optimistic and professional, and to be honest, I was cheered by it – although he often doesn't seem to have a clue about curriculum or marketing or any of the things that seem so important to running a hagwon, he really does at least a bit of a clue – it's just that he's just up against a lot of inertia – both institutional (i.e. "the way things are done" in the hagwon biz) and personal (he and I share traits of procrastination). 

One thing he did was show us a little video before starting his powerpoint. This is the kind of thing that Koreans working in education often pay a lot of lip service to but aren't very good at implementing, but which on the other hand Western educators take as given… as a kind of starting point. 

The video is in Korean but it's about education in the US, with some observations about the quality and style of education – and attitudes toward education – in the Jewish community in particular. I'll leave it as an exercise for the viewer to figure out the gist of it – it can help you relate to how I feel every day at my job. 

[UPDATE 20180330: Video embed removed due to link-rot, no replacement found. Sorry.]

[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]

Caveat: Must be somewhere, then

A thousand miles from nowhere… must be somewhere, then. How about the 4th largest city in the world?

What I'm listening to right now.

Dwight Yoakam, "A Thousand Miles from Nowhere."

Lyrics.

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
Time don't matter to me
'Cause I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
And there's no place I want to be

I got heartaches in my pocket
I got echoes in my head
And all that I keep hearing
Are the cruel, cruel things that you said

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
Time don't matter to me
'Cause I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
And there's no place I want to be

Oh, I
Oh, I
Oh, I

Oh, I
Oh, I
Oh, I

I've got bruises on my memory
I've got tear stains on my hands
And in the mirror there's a vision
Of what used to be a man

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
Time don't matter to me
'Cause I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
And there's no place I want to be

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
Time don't matter to me
'Cause I'm a thousand miles from nowhere
And there's no place I want to be

Oh, I

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere

I'm a thousand
I'm a thousand

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: More On Santa’s Criminality

I know I'm not posting very much these days – a lot of posts are kind of place-holders, I admit. I've been really busy with work, and kind of down, too. The combination means outside of work I do very little that's productive. I dug out my old, barely functional, prehistoric television set (it's still CRT, not flat-screen), and plugged it into the antenna. It's not cable. I get the 5 local Korean broadcast channels. I think it's good for me to watch Korean television.

My students are still submitting funny and interesting writing about Santa's criminality (see also [broken link! FIXME] my post of a few days ago). Here's Sae Young on labor-law violations:

Hi, my name is Sae Young. The reason about that why I think Santa Claus is a criminal, because Santa Claus didn't follow the labor law by exploiting kids. In Santa town, many kids fairies work for more than 18 hours a day. But, Santa Claus pay just minimum wages to kids fairies. Moreover, their labor level is harder and harder in Christmas week. Actually, Santa Claus's company's employees do all operations to manually. There are some report that reported a teen fairy who is fired at Santa town, because she ate foods more than average. She did works for 20 hours a day with no food and no rest, so she was so hungry and just ate many foods, than she was expelled. Like this situation, in Santa town there are so many employees are exploited hardly and they feel so much exhausted. This is the evidence that can prove Santa Claus's crime.

[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]

 

Caveat: An app for that

First coworker: "Why is getting a good massage so expensive in Korea!?"

Second coworker (in all seriousness): "There's an app for that." 

I was only overhearing the conversation. But I broke out laughing. I think she was referring the fact there are ways to shop for deals on massage using a app. 

[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]

Caveat: why santa is BAD GUY

I revisted my old standby "absurd debate topic" last week, and discussed with my HSM반 whether or not Santa was a criminal. Without too much guidance, my student Jihun produced this excellent debate essay (as always, student writing is presented "raw" and uncorrected).

The man called ‘Santa’ is a fairy of presents to children. However there is some secrets that children don’t know. I think santa is a criminal. Because I think santa can be a thief, a devil, and a cheat. So I’m going to discuss about why santa is BAD GUY.

First Reason is ‘theft method.’ As you heard from stories, santa always get into house with chimney. And after get into the house, almost every children with pure mind think santa only gives presents. But If santa is not a magician, how could he give them a present? That’s impossible. If they have to give children presents, they need to steal some expensive stuff. And they could afford children presents.

Second Reason is ‘name trick method.’ Surprisingly, as I told you, santa is a kind looking thief. I think that’s a part of wicked act. To cover their image, santa came out with changing their name. You can see when you move ‘n’ to the end of the word ‘santa,’ you might can see the word ‘SATAN,’ means ‘devil.’

Last reason is ‘fraud skill.’ Santa told children should not cry before christmas. Do you think it’s possible? I think only robot can achieve it. Also they lie to all children that they ride flying reindeer. But in my life experience at age 7, I saw that reindeer is a parcel service worker, and my mom is a santa.

Santa is a BAD GUY, because they theft the stuff, change their name calmly, and fraud to children very well. I think if santa wants children ‘good children,’ they should be ‘good santa’ first.

I think he did very well, striking a good balance between humor and actual debate.

[daily log: walking, 6 km]

 

Caveat: Somebody’s Confused

Lately I've been feeling pretty negative about my teaching ability. I suppose that doesn't help in terms of my overall affect, either. It's hard to say what is cause and what is effect, though. It becomes a vicious cycle because my self-doubt about teaching seems to lead to lower-quality teaching – I make more mistakes or mis-judgments; I get more "lazy" about tasks that I perceive as needing to be done; etc. Which of course later reinforces my frustration, too.

Earlier this week I made a terrible mistake. I told my HSM반 that I was mad at them that they hadn't done what I'd asked them to do for homework. In fact, I lectured them and harangued them for about 10 minutes.

It turns out, however… that I'd mis-remembered what their HW assignment was – mixing it up with my HST반. Further, the students… they just sat there, looking sheep faced and repentant. Not a single student made any effort to correct me or expressed any confusion over their "failure" to do the right homework. It's kind of a mess of a teaching screw up, because I only realized long after the class was over, that I'd made the mistake. They've already begun doing the "new, revised" homework assignment. It leaves them questioning their reality, and I'm not in any position to be able to "recover from it" with any grace whatsoever. I'm not even sure, if I tried to explain my screw up, that the students would understand – after all, I doubt they're really accustomed to authority figures admitting error, nor would they have a clue what to make of such information. 

I get paranoid that this is some early indication of the onset of some kind of dementia or mental breakdown. The hypochondria kicks in. 

Sigh. Bleagh.

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Warhol Dreaming – put a peephole in my brain

What does it mean, in the vast scheme of dream symbology, to dream about Andy Warhol? Twice, in one night? 

Really, they were more like dream-fragments. And Warhol was perhaps standing in more as a symbol than as a character – but that's how he'd have preferred to appear in a dream, I suspect.

In the first dream fragment, I was with my father. He was trying to explain to me that, unfortunately, he would not be able to repay to me the 9 cents he owed me, this month. I wasn't sure why he was even worried about it, but he was very intent on justifying, via an explanation of his financial situation, why it simply wasn't going to be possible to come up with the 9 cents. He opened his wallet, and pulled out this repeatedly folded, enormous sheet of paper, upon which he was maintaining a gigantic spreadsheet, in multiple colors of ball-point ink, showing all the different people he owed money. It was all quite pathetic, especially when I realized all the amounts were in cents. Then I noticed, in the far upper left corner (and thus an early, if not first, entry in his spreadsheet), the name and amount "Andy Warhol -15." 

"You owe Andy Warhol 15 cents?" I asked my father, starting to laugh. I was incredulous, and found it funny.

He shook his head gravely. "Noo. Fifteen dollars." He shrugged his shoulders in embarrassment.

"But… he's dead." I said. My dad looked at me in alarm.

That was the end of the first dream fragment.

In the second dream fragment, I was on a commuter bus, trying to get across the 김포대교 (Kimpo Bridge across the Han River – the one that you cross from Ilsan if you're going to Bucheon or Incheon or the airport). There was a horrible traffic jam. It turned out someone had noticed that Andy Warhol was in a car – it looked like a late-model Lincoln towncar, of a sort I've never seen in Korea – and insisted that it was a great place to do an interview of the reclusive (reclusive? – this is some kind of dream-construct) star. In the slowly-moving traffic, my bus finally pulled along side the car where Warhol was being interviewed. The person doing the interview was my student Jinwon (of recent mention). I was more amazed. Jinwon apparently worked for a large Korean media company, and had arrived by helicopter. The questions he was asking Warhol were incoherent. Warhol's answers were incoherent. I was skeptical whether it was really Warhol in the car.

That's the end of the second dream fragment.

What do they mean?

What I'm listening to right now.

David Bowie, "Andy Warhol." No, I did not listen to this last night, so therefore no, it is not an explanation for the dreams. I found it this morning, after waking up with Andy Warhol on my mind. Normally I try to avoid posting a song on my blog that I've posted before, as I have with this one, but it seemed too apropos to resist.

Lyrics.

Like to take a cement fix
Be a standing cinema
Dress my friends up
just for show
See them as they really are
Put a peephole in my brain
Two New Pence to have a go
I'd like to be a gallery
Put you all inside my show

[CHORUS]
Andy Warhol looks a scream
Hang him on my wall
Andy Warhol, Silver Screen
Can't tell them apart at all

Andy walking, Andy tired
Andy take a little snooze
Tie him up when he's fast asleep
Send him on a pleasant cruise
When he wakes up on the sea
Be sure to think of me and you
He'll think about paint
and he'll think about glue
What a jolly boring thing to do

[CHORUS]

Caveat: Convergence of Shortcomings

I just got home from a dinner with coworkers – that Koreanest of Korean work-things, which is called 회식 (hoesik [not very phonetically pronounced hwehshik more or less]). I became very depressed.

It is a total convergence of all my shortcomings, in one compact experiential setting:

It is my failure to eat normally. I can't enjoy the food.
It is my failure to have mastered the Korean language – I'm barely at 50% in listening, I estimate, and in speaking I'm still stranded in the single digits. 
It my failure to be the kind of outstanding teacher or coworker I wish I could be.
It is my failure to be "normally" sociable.
It's so many things that matter to me. All wrapped up in one big failure.

Now I'm tired.

Good night.

[daily log: walking, 3.5 km]

Caveat: I can’t email you my homework because my dad is at the police station

I have a student named Jinwon. Jinwon has never done homework, that I can recall. When he was new to me, he would give excuses, but eventually he ran out of excuses. He just would shrug and say, “Sorry, Teacher,” now.
I have even made him stay extra time, sometimes – which is something I rarely do, because I feel it’s a fundamentally unfair practice, since some parents have “Do Not Make Stay” instructions attached to their kids. I don’t think it’s good for the kids to see their peers getting differential treatment. I know, right… I’m a communist or something.
Anyway, Jinwon will only write the most desultory things, even when I’ve made him stay. He just doesn’t like to do stuff.
Then, the other day, he seemed quite proud. He claimed to have done his homework. Now… I make the students email their essays to me. I like having an electronic copy. I had not received any email from Jinwon, so I told him. He showed me on his phone, where he’d recorded my email address. He’d gotten it wrong – proof, I suppose, that after a year of knowing him, this was, indeed, the first time he’d attempted to send me his homework.
He asked if he could call his dad, to re-send the essay (I guess it was on the computer at home). I was pleased immensely that he was showing such initiative, and I also began to finally believe he really had done his homework, and wasn’t just inventing an elaborate excuse.
He got on his phone and called his dad. He talked for a moment, stepping out of the classroom. He came back, looking crestfallen. “My dad said to call later.”
“Why?” I asked, wondering if this was, in fact, just an excuse after all.
“He’s at the police station,” he said, showing what seemed quite believable concern and doubt.
“Really!? Why is he there?” I asked. “Is he OK?”
“I don’t know,” the 8th grader replied, with a distracted look. I think he was genuinely surprised.
“Maybe he didn’t do his homework,” I joked, inappropriately. Jinwon laughed, but it was a bit forced. I wasn’t sure I should have made that joke. I don’t know his family’s circumstances.
If this was a “dog-ate-my-homework” ruse, I was beyond annoyed – I was impressed. But actually, I don’t think it was.
Today, two days later, Jinwon sent his essay via email. First time, after 1 year. I felt glad. I praised him profusely, which confused his peers, I think, since they all do their homework every week, and get far less praise.
[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]
 

Caveat: 이 꿈에서 다시는 깨고 싶지 않아

저는 너무 피곤 해서 지금 재미있는 것을 쓰지못해요.
내가 지금 듣고있어요.

유승준, “가위.”
가사.

Check it out now, come on now let me bust it out,
Oh no too slow flow yo kick it a little faster come on
Just a La little more more faster come on come on
I said faster faster uh cause I like it like that and um uh
Come on yo faster yo go faster
넌 내게 말했지 세상을 떠나버린 후
꿈에서라도 다시는 만나서는 안된다고
하지만 매일 밤 꿈속에서 너를 만났어
아무말없이 날보며 울고만 서 있는 너를…
그토록 원했었지 너의 모든 흔적이 없어지길
우리의 모든기억 하얀 너도 강물 위에 띄어 보냈지만
내 손을 잡아봐 어디든 함께 갈테니
너 없이 혼자선 그 어떤 의미조차 될 순 없어
뭐라고 말좀해 왜 자꾸 울고만 있어
한번만 안아줘 이 꿈속에서 깰 수 있도록
넌 하얀 병실에서 조차 남겨질 내 걱정만 하곤 했어
우리 못다한 사랑은 잠시 접어두자고
오히려 나를 위로했어 이제 아무런 약속도
가난한 선물조차 할 수 없는 나
유일하게 너와 함께 할 수 있는
이 꿈에서 다시는 깨고 싶지 않아

[daily log: walking, 5.5 km]

Caveat: Day-in-Review in Video

Yesterday, as is more and more the case, I turned on my camera in each of my classes. The video camera has become a kind of reliable pedagogical tool, which I use partly because there is pressure from Curt to provide fodder for his efforts to effectively advertise our hagwon, and which I will happily support, but also because I have found that my students, as much as they groan and complain about the camera, actually respond to it very positively, speaking with more focus, with more effort, and more entertainingly, too. 

Below is a sampling of yesterday's video caps. Mostly, these days, I don't post my recordings to youtube – I'm a bit lazy (it took me 2 hours to minimally reformat, edit and upload these) and they weren't being used or viewed much. I will let Curt look through the raw clips if he wants, and a few times he's taken some things or asked me to compile some things. I still think that if I was willing put in the effort, it would be cool to have a daily "video diary" of my classroom work.

So here is a one day's video diary of student work in speaking classes at various levels.

At the start of the day, yesterday, I was coaching two students (siblings) with special prepartion for speeches they want to submit to a contest. I think the older brother's speech was a bit boring (and he was stubborn about applying my advice to make it more interesting). I think the younger sister has a good chance of some kind of prize – she's remarkable for someone who has never lived or studied abroad.

Next, we practiced a little song in my Phonics class – these are near-beginners. Then, we practiced the anachronistically Christmas-themed roleplay (an adaptation of the story of Scrooge) in my slightly more advanced Sirius class (where I had to play several roles myself, including Mr Scrooge, because of absent students) – these kids voices are very hard to hear and the sound quality is terrible, I know.

Then, for two classes, we did TOEFL-style speaking – supposedly one-minute speeches. The middle-school students are a rather unmotivated group, none of whom really got close to a high-quality speech, but these were just practice speeches – their speech tests (on exact same topic) will be on Friday. The elementary students (the two girls in the second), on the other hand, are supposedly the top of the hagwon (certainly academically they are),  although I think I have others who are better at speaking, specifically.

Finally, in my awesome new TOEFL1 middle school (really these are transitional kids, 6th-moving-to-7th, just now) we practiced longer, only lightly-prepared (and with zero notes) summaries of the Reading-vs-Listening variety known as TOEFL Speaking "Task 4" questions. 

I suppose I decided to post these partly to give some picture of what it is I spend my day doing. I'm not just sitting around complaining. 

Caveat: I went to Seoul and ate a burrito

I went into Seoul and met my friend Nate, who happens to be in-country on winter break from graduate school in the US. We met at the Gyobo Mungo (giant bookstore) and I managed to avoid spending too much money (for a change), then we walked through the un-Januarish drizzle to find something to eat. I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat, but we walked past a location of the Dos Tacos chain and so we went there and I had a burrito: Mexican food through a North American filter through a Korean filter. But not bad.

We talked about literature. 

I came back home and had a splitting headache – I'm not sure why, the air seemed stuffy on the subway, but it caused me to abandon my previous intention to write an actual long blog entry. I took a nap instead. Now it's almost midnight and I'm non-sleepy. I hate when I mess up my schedule like that. 

[daily log: walking, 4 km]

Caveat: Scary Mou(se/th)

I was trying to explain to a student the distinction between the /th/ phoneme and the /s/ phoneme – many Koreans have trouble with the distinction, since the /th/ doesn't exist in the language, and the problem isn't helped by some sector of the English education complex teaching them that there is really not any difference in the pronunciation between e.g. "mouse" and "mouth". 

So I drew a picture, because he was quite young. It was a spur-of-the-moment illustration, but I was pleased with it. 

picture

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Yo, Cat

picture
I have these “Hello Kitty” index cards, which are pink. I got them for free somehow – I don’t recall when. But I use little index cards quite frequently (almost universally) in my speaking classes, when I allow students to make notes – I find the small format makes them think more about what information to put on their cards in preparation for speaking, and at least sometimes prevents them from writing out their speeches verbatim, because they can’t fit the full speech so well on such a small card.
Some of the students (boys, of course) complained about having pink, Hello Kitty index cards. I said deal with it. On a whim, I tried to create a less “girly” version of the Hello Kitty character. I called him/her “Yo, Cat.” Here is a bad-quality photo of a bad-quality sketch.
picture
I guess I conceptualized this character as a hiphop artist.


내가 지금 듣고있어요.

[UPDATE 20180328: Video embed updated due to link-rot.]
매드 클라운, “콩 (Hide And Seek),” (Feat. Jooyoung 주영)
가사.

하루의 시작 똑같은 생활의 반복
속에 끈질기게 나를 놓지 않길
난 세상이란 바구니 속 작은 콩
행복이란 게 내 청춘의
방구석 어디쯤 숨었다면
난 쓰레기통 탁자 밑 신발장
안까지 싹 다 뒤졌겠지
하지만 나 바랬던 것들
여기 없네 내게 행복은
소문만 무성할 뿐 목격된 적 없네
속쓰린 아침 다시 밥과 마주했고
이걸 벌기 위해 이걸
또 삼키고 난 나가야 돼
삶이란 건 어쩌면
아빠의 구둣발 같은건가 봐
끊임없이 바닥과 부딪혀
닳고 아픈건가 봐
행복이란 게 마치
숨바꼭질과 같은 거라면
난 모든 길 모퉁이 모든 골목
구석까지 미친 듯 뒤졌겠지
모두가 모르겠단 표정으로
날 비웃을 때 답을 찾았다거나
답이 보인 게 아냐 난 그냥 믿었네
2011년 11월 난 보자기에
씌워진 저 작은 콩
까만 비닐봉지에 싸인
저 위가 내 하늘일 리 없다
믿었고 반복된 일상
평범함은 죄 아니니까
난 웅크린 채 숫자를 세
아직은 한참 밤이니까
스물일곱의 그 밤
무작정 걸었던 그날 밤
가로등 아래 우두커니 서
난 어디로 갈지도 모른 채
스물일곱의 그 밤
내 모습이 초라해
눈을 뜨면 꼭 잡힐 것 같아
아득한 그 시절 그날 밤
해 뜨면 어제 같은 오늘을
또 한 번 나 살아가겠지
붐비는 지하철 똑같은
발걸음들 나 따라가겠지
술잔 앞 꿈에 대한 얘기 할 때면
사실 내 목소리 떳떳하지 못해서
누군가 눈치챌까 괜시리
목소릴 높였지 이 곳을
벗어나고 싶어 난 내가
나로서 살고 싶어
더 비겁해지기 전에
겁 먹기 전에 이젠 나 답고 싶어
작은 콩 몸 속에는
서러움과 눈물 몇 방울
그리고 그 빛나는 믿음을
끌어안고 견디는 중
이 수많은 밤을
나를 믿는 것 꿈을 견디는 것
지금의 내 초라함은
잠시 스쳐갈 뿐이라는 것과
언젠가 머릴 들이밀고
솟아날 콩처럼 까만 보자기 속
난 한없이 더 질겨지고 있지
스물일곱의 그 밤
무작정 걸었던 그날 밤
가로등 아래 우두커니 서
난 어디로 갈지도 모른 채
스물일곱의 그 밤
내 모습이 초라해
눈을 뜨면 꼭 잡힐 것 같아
아득한 그 시절 그날 밤
하루 견뎌 또 하루
세상에 바짝 약 오른 채로
용기를 내긴 힘들었고
포기란 말은 참 쉬웠던
난 숫자를 세지
꼭꼭 숨어라 머리카락 보일라
어디로 넌 숨었을까
어디에 있건 상관없다고
자 하나 둘 셋 넷
다시 다섯 넷 셋 둘
세상은 나를 술래라 해
난 그래서 눈 가렸을 뿐
한때는 헷갈린 적도 있지만
난 이제 갈 길 가네
열까지 숫자를 세고
내일이 되면 난 더 빛나네
나는 더 빛나네
스물일곱의 그 밤
무작정 걸었던 그날 밤
가로등 아래 우두커니 서
난 어디로 갈지도 모른 채
스물일곱의 그 밤
내 모습이 초라해
눈을 뜨면 꼭 잡힐 것 같아
아득한 그 시절 그 날 밤

picture[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: For Short Attention Spans

It actually snowed for a while today, but it didn't really stick. Maybe it will more, tonight.

This video I ran across, below, is quite amusing. It can be watched many times, I think. There's a lot of weird stuff going on. You must have a very short attention span, however.

[daily log: walking, 1.5 km]

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