Category: Banalities & Journaling

Caveat: Don’t Vote Your “Unconscience”

Banalities & Journaling / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs

I awoke before dawn today – but it's not clear to me if this is a sign of a continued jetlagged state or if, alternatively, in fact it is proof of my adaptation to the time zone, since pre-dawn wakings with subsequent insomnia are a very typical part of my day-to-day existence. 

Today is election day, in the US, where I happen to be. With some admitted guilt, I will come out openly and say that I do not intend to vote.

I can justify this in several ways, although I will introduce these justifications with the caveat that I am deeply aware that they are merely that: justifications. 

My first justification is that although I am, de jure, a US citizen, in the de facto sense I have become an emigrant. This may be reversed someday – indeed, it's easy for me to imagine various futures where I return, but at the current moment, taking the broadest possible definition democracy and with a notion in mind of whether or not I am a "stakeholder" in the 230 year old US social experiment, I am definitely a fringe case. If offered the opportunity to vote in South Korea, I would be more likely to consider it.

My second justification is that for most of my life I was a third-party voter. I only broke with that tendency when I voted for Obama in 2008 and 2012. I had a lot of optimism about what Obama might represent, in terms of somehow breaking with the old, terrible habits of the US executive. I have been deeply, gravely disappointed. I don't believe Obama is a bad person, but he clearly was unable to break those old habits, due to systemic inertia and his own conciliatory disposition. As a result, I suffer voter's regret, which is an unpleasant if weirdly abstract emotion. In a rather selfish spirit, I do not wish to experience voter's regret with respect to Clinton, and the "main" third party candidates are quite distasteful this round – Jill Stein is dangerously ignorant about the principals of science and fiscal management, and Gary Johnson is just simply dangerously ignorant about just about everything, as far as I can tell. And it's too painful to even comment on Trump.

My third justification is that the places where I am registered to vote (yes, there are multiple places, which is itself uncomfortable and disconcerting, but where, exactly, should I be registered anyway, given my long non-residency and scattered roots?) are not really "in play" with respect to the national election. Both California and Minnesota are "safely blue" and thus there is hardly a scenario under which a Trump victory could be "my fault." I feel I can abstain, following my conscience, with a clear conscience, so to speak.

So there I am. I am not apathetic – I am deeply interested in and engaged with US politics. Rather, I am not voting on various principles, despite the fact that Minnesota, where I sit right now, would undoubtedly let me vote (it is a same-day registration state). Nevertheless I remain curious as to the outcome, and I urge everyone to vote (or not vote) their consciences. 

But try not to vote your "unconscience." That may be the problem that got us to this crossroads. 

I ran across the most amazing thing earlier, as I surfed online a little bit in my predawn insomniac state. I discovered that my friend and former work colleague, Jay Neuman, has a blog. Somehow, I had neglected to notice this before. Jay is a committed Christian, yet he has written what in my opinion is one of the best ethically-oriented evaluations that I have seen of the Faustian choices presented by the current situation. I recommend reading it – even if you are not Christian.

Happy voting.

Today we drive to southern Wisconsin. We can listen to the elections on the radio or something. 

Caveat: License to Drive

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

I had let my driver's license expire during my long stay in Korea. Given my health issues with the cancer thing, making it back to Minnesota to renew a license wasn't high on the list. 

In theory, it's possible for me to get a Korean driver's license. But that's really just theory, until I can take the driving skills test in the Korean language. I just don't think my Korean is that good.

The alternative to get a Korean license is to hand over my valid US license – they'll make a trade of it, basically. So that left me with a need to renew my US license.

I went to the Minnesota DMV (not called "DMV" in Minnesota – that's my Californese talking) and stood in line for a few hours and took a written test and paid some money and got my license renewed. This is useful not just for traveling in the US, but for traveling anywhere. 

In fact I had been feeling a lot of stress and worry about whether this would work out. There was a lot of uncertainty because the Minnesota Department of Public Safety's available online documentation was essentially useless. I felt very happy that it went smoothly.

I also visited my storage unit and my "home branch" of my bank in Uptown. 

Then I gave Curt and Mr Jin a bit of a tour of my old haunts around the University of Minnesota, and I felt nostalgic. We rewarded their patience with American cuisine by buying some 순두부 (Tofu soup) at a Korean hole-in-the-wall in Stadium Village (near the University).

[daily log: walking, 4km]

Caveat: Among Quakers

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism

As many of you know, by birth I am a Quaker (or half a Quaker, or maybe three quarters of one). I was not raised as an active Quaker, however – both due to my parents having fairly secular attitudes as well as because in my small childhood town in rural northern California, there was no local meetinghouse.
I was probably mostly aware of my Quaker heritage during the many visits to Southern California, where my paternal grandparents were. I remember attending meeting for worship a few times with my grandmother in the late 70s and early 80s.
One of the oldest and most influential meetings on the west coast is the Orange Grove Meeting in Pasadena. My father was born into that meeting, and my grandfather was active there even while also being part of the Temple City meeting which was adjunct to his farm-cum-school in Temple City.
My own strong association with Orange Grove was indirect, arising out of my employment by the Mexico City Meeting in 1986-87. Mexico City Friends and Orange Grove Friends were (and continue to be) tightly connected through historical, financial and spiritual ties. In fact, my uncle Allen (my father’s older brother) had worked for/with the Mexico City Meeting in the late 1950s.
Mexico City is the only time I was an official member of a meeting. The only other time I was a regular attender of a meeting was also in the context of working for a Quaker institution, when I was teaching high school Spanish and Social Studies at Moorestown Friends School in Moorestown, New Jersey. That was in 1996-97.
I did attend Orange Grove Meeting itself a few times in the early 2000s, but by then I was pretty sure I wasn’t a very good Quaker. I think I have a largely Quaker value system, but I have come to feel that being a typical “values but no doctrine” Quaker has too much of a whiff of hypocrisy for me to be comfortable in that role. The idea of a “church” where lip service is paid to a bible which is not really taken seriously (or even much read) can work fine for many people, but not for me. As I’ve written before, I appreciate Buddhism – at least the variety I have interacted with in Korea – because its adherents explicitly make clear that there is no need to believe anything, unlike Quakers who tend to sweep such discrepancies under the rug. As a committed antitranscendentalist (i.e. no miracles, no magic, period), that is the only kind of religion where I could possibly fit in.
Setting aside such digressions, I attended Quaker Meeting this morning at Orange Grove Friends Meeting. This is because my father has become an attender since he has taken on the role of on-site caretaker there (a role curiously similar to what my role had been at the Mexico City Meeting).
I have enough background with it to feel comfortable – even somewhat nostalgic. Curt and Mr Jin came too, and I’m sure it was several layers of culture shock for them, being not only alien religiously but populated almost exclusively by that weird, heterogeneous tribe of hippieish, dogmatically tolerant, political radicals such as commonly inhabit Quaker meetings. No amount of exposure to heterodox American culture as consumed outside the US could possibly prepare one for this type of American.
Their cultural discomfort afterward was strongly ameliorated by a very pleasant Korean-American Quaker lady named Kwang-hui, whose company I enjoyed and who served as a nice liaison between Koreanism and Quakerism. I was particularly pleased to find that her spoken Korean was much easier to comprehend for me than most varieties. I think that it is often the case that Koreans resident abroad adopt a somewhat simplified variety of Korean, with reduced usage of the many complex verbal periphrases and less “수능 [suneung]” vocabulary (what we would call “SAT vocab” in English, meaning “high-falutin” educated words, typically of Chinese etymology in Korean).
After the meeting we went to an allegedly Mexican restaurant across the street. North Pasadena in recent decades has evolved into largely hispanic neighborhood, so although the place was undeniably Mexican culturally, the cuisine is what I would term “LA generic fast food” – mostly burgers, sandwiches, tacos and burritos, with a few vegetarian entries as a nod to Pasadena’s vaguely upscale, granola-liberal character.
Despite that, being a family-run business meant the barbacoa tacos were pretty authentic, at least to Californio standards. I had one of those, and then a fish taco. These latter only exist where gringos do, when speaking of Mexico proper, but in Southern California they come close to being truly authentic local cuisine. Of course for the Koreans along, it was more immersion in the aspect of my own country that I love and miss most – its sheer perverse diversity. And that was the point. I am working hard to expose Curt and Jin to as much different stuff as possible given the narrow timeframe.
Overall, a nice morning. Then we drove down to the airport and here I am, writing this offline while sardined into another aluminum ovoid tube somewhere over Utah. I will post it once I am online again.
Tomorrow, I will go to Minnesota DMV and then the infamous storage unit. I not sure I will actually undertake the project to move and consolidate my stuff – it feels very overwhelming and frankly I’d rather be a tour guide to my friends.
[daily log: walking, ~2km]

Caveat: Retracings and Gratitude

Banalities & Journaling

I lie in bed during a magical hour that happens only once a year in america. That hour is the hour that appears as daylight savings time is ended. That hour retraces the hour between 2 and 3 am (I think), thus passing twice. It is an artifact, just like all hours, but unlike other hours, its artificiality stands outside of rationality, and instead reflects a sheer cultural obstinacy, I suppose. In Korea they don't have this kind of hour, because they don't do daylight savings time. If they did, it would be an occasion for drinking, perhaps – I mean, more drinking than usual.

I am wide awake because I happen to have just arrived in the US and suffer unspeakably from my typical jetlag.

Insomniac, I have been surfing forgotten fragments of my own past, which our modern era allows so seamlessly that it can be done lying in bed holding a glowing rectangle of glass and plastic and silicon.

I discovered a number of old emails, exchanged with my friends during the aftermath of my surgery 3 years ago – friends who I am now about to see again for the first time since that surgery, notably Bob (with Sarah) and Mark (with Amy). Do they have any idea how much their moral support, embroidered across the world's fabric via fragile threads of internet emails, meant to me? I am so sentimentally pleased to finally be able to see them, and to be able to thank them, and to be able to apologize for the inconstancy of my friendship.

This traveling is hard, and the manifold uncertainties that swarm my mind in these contemplative moments, my eyes wide open in the predawn dark, can begin to overwhelm. It helps me to remember the point: I travel now not to explore (exploring seems such a minor need, anymore) but to retrace and reaffirm old bonds – bonds which have permitted me to survive into my present moment.

Caveat: Pasadenaland

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

I am in my "patria" (in the etymological sense of "land of my father"): Pasadena. I am staying at my father's house, which is new since the last time I saw him four years ago. He's pretty settled into it, though.

I'm pretty jetlagged, so I won't spend a lot of time blogging. 

Addendum: Picture from eating dinner at one of my dad's "regular" spots, Coco's in Pasadena on Lake Avenue. These are familiar haunts to me.

picture

..

[daily log: walking, ~4km (mostly in the airports)]

Caveat: Nonnet #99 “Sufficient enumeration”

A Daily Poem / Banalities & Journaling / Book 1 / My Poetry & Fiction / Nonnet

(Poem #117 on new numbering scheme)

Ninety-nine nonnets are sufficient
to show the possibilities
of the short poetic form.
Anyway, it's Fall now.
I have made enough
and I believe
I should stop.
I will
stop.

This is my last nonnet. I will not be posting daily poetry while I travel in the US over the next two weeks, but hopefully can renew the habit, with a new genre, upon my return to Korea.

[This is an automated, pre-scheduled blog post – I expect I’m somewhere over the Pacific, right now.]

picture[daily log: sitting, 9657km]

Caveat: Scattered

Banalities & Journaling

I'm just feeling really scattered and disorganized as the last days pass before I depart on my trip to the US. As I've commented before, I feel like since my cancer experience, my personality has fundamentally changed – traveling, in general, is not fun for me anymore – which no doubt seems shocking to those who have known me for a long time.

The idea of travel, now, feels like a giant potentiality made up of mostly complications, stress and discomfort. I do genuinely look forward to seeing old friends, family, and places, but I also feel extremely stressed, and I feel none of that "open ended" excitement or "flow" that used to be the main emotions around anticipated travel. I have become a kind of half-time hermit not just in lifestyle but perhaps in spirit as well.

I have a lot of work things to get done before leaving on Saturday – most notably, I have syllabuses to create for all my classes, so the substitute can know what to do. Also, grades and student comments need to be entered for October.

picture[daily log: walking, 7.5km]

Caveat: giving witch-doctors a bad name

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs

As the evolving scandal around President Park Geun-hye and her "spiritual advisor" Choi Soon-sil continues to dominate the media, I have ambivalent feelings.

On the one hand, this reminds me a little bit of the potential scandal that never really took root around Nancy Reagan's reliance on astrologers. Imagine if it had turned out that there was documented evidence that Nancy's astrologers had been writing policy speeches for Ronald Reagan (and maybe this was true, but there was never any "smoking gun"), and that said astrologers had made billions of dollars through extortion and influence peddling to business leaders. 

On the other hand, there is an element of "moral panic" about this scandal that is quite distasteful to me. My concern lies at the intersection between certain very conservative social forces in Korean society (linked to both Evangelical Christianity and traditional, Joseon-Era Neoconfucianism) and the long-standing cultural habit of condemning and persecuting the ancient shamanistic practices which are the substrate of Korean culture. These practices go under the rubric of "Muism" and have been persecuted and suppressed for at least 1500 years, since Buddhism became the state religion in the Three Kingdoms Era. Yet they remain quite strong, and they have always been connected to a kind of Korean "counterculture" that seems have an almost hippie-pagan flavor (in the sense familiar to westerners) yet is also deeply traditional. It helps to imagine Korean hillbillies.

I despise that this scandal is serving to reinforce the "superstition against superstition" that especially Evangelicals use to condemn nonbelievers. Yet the behavior of the President and her friend, in this context, has been self-evidently reprehensible. This is the sort of thing that could serve to increase the Christian right's stranglehold on South Korea's polity, if carefully spun.  

As I've said before, there are positive ways that Christianity's weird, unprecedented takeover of South Korea during the last 50 years has enabled the culture to leapfrog out of its most xenophobic and caste-driven tendencies that were its premodern heritage, but I have always seen Muism and Buddhism, as well as Korea's many vibrant, unconventional syncretistic cults, such as they remain, as important counterweights to the excessive "holier-than-thou" moralizing and intolerance emanating from the mostly American-influenced, Pentecostal churches. 

Actually, I find the odd links between one of those bizarre cults, 영세교 ([yeongsegyo], called "Church of Eternity" in English) and the Park dynasty (father dictator and daughter current president) fascinating. They might lend some insight into the Parks' odd relationship with the Korean establishment. That "church," founded by a former Buddhist monk, seems to be equal parts Christianity, Buddhism, and Muism. The daughter of the founder is the one at the center of the current scandal.

picture[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: plantpocalypse

Banalities & Journaling

Some while back I was proud that I'd kept some houseplants alive in my apartment for so long – several years, in fact. I think I even blogged about it. That stretch of success has sadly returned to the default mode of my plant-raising efforts: plantpocalypse. A kind of vegetarian version of a Halloween slasher movie has played out over the last few months.

I now have only two sickly plants remaining, and both seem on the edge of meeting their Maker. I don't really know what I do wrong – I suspect I'm too unreliable as a waterer – too much water interspersed with not enough. But, I rationalize: don't plants in the real world deal with unreliable supplies of water fairly successfully? It does not rain exactly 1 mm every day, after all. I lack the right life philosophy to be a gardener, perhaps. I see unreliable environments as being character-building. I suspect my plants view it differently, and don't feel the need for building character.

pictureThe two current survivors:

The one on the left is probably already dead – the leaves are dry and brittle, despite retaining their green color. I pruned the other substantially, removing many yellow leaves and limp vines.

Anyway, at this rate, I don't have to worry about how they'll survive my upcoming two-week absence.

picture [daily log: walking, 2km]

Caveat: the Choi Soon-sil thing

Banalities & Journaling / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

I was so pleased with my HS2B cohort last night.

We are basically finished with our current Speaking class textbook. We can't bother ordering a new book, since in December they'll be transitioning to the next year-level (i.e. HS3), which will involve a new book – getting a new book for just a month and a half is impractical. Obviously, I didn't do very well budgeting out the progress in the book, which was meant to last a full year.

"So, what are we going to do?" I asked.

Most classes of 8th graders would desultorily propose something in the vein of "play" or"nothing" - and it would be left up to me to come up with something more academic.

These kids, however, proposed, "Let's have debate class." Most them had me for debate in prior years, but the 8th grade curriculum as currently defined doesn't include much debate.

"Wow, so you guys like debate?" I asked.

They did.

"So what should we debate about?" I asked.

Most classes of 8th graders, presented with this choice, would immediately suggest debating something pretty banal: who is the best current pop idol on the k-pop scene, or something in the vein of my absurd debate topics.

One girl, however, proposed, "Let's debate about president Park and the Choi Soon-sil thing." I was, in fact, pretty ignorant about this. I was vaguely aware that some new scandal was exploding around the South Korean President, but I didn't know the details. So we spent some time with them filling me in on what was going on. 

Once I understood what was going on, I offered some possible debate propositions. 

The one we settled on was: "President Park's recently revealed behavior is impeachable." We had to make a digression while I tried to explain the concept of impeachment, but, to my surprise, they knew what this was – I guess it's something they cover in civics class in their public school.

They're pretty sharp 8th graders – I already knew this. But what I like most about those kids is that they are so interested in learning stuff and thinking about their world. This is what I strive for when I talk about student-driven learning. 

Of course, once we'd settled the debate proposition and I assigned some speeches for the next speaking class, they wanted to play. So I let them do that for the last 15 minutes. They're clever - they know if they please me with showing interest in academic topics, they'll get latitude on free time during class, too.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

 

 

Caveat: flipping out

Banalities & Journaling / Teaching & Methodology

My boss and friend Curt has been on a bit of a tear about a concept known as "flipped learning." He keeps asking me my opinion about it, but frankly I'm not sure what to say. I started writing this several months ago and never reached any feeling of conclusion about it. I've decided to just post it "as is."

If, by flipped learning, one is referring to the principle of "new material at home, review during class," then I think it is hardly a new concept. Indeed, I think teachers of every age going back to Ancient Greece would use this model at least sometimes – what is the Socratic Method, after all, if not a kind of flipped learning?

On the other hand, I suppose the concept's current vogue is due to the technological component. "Traditional teachers" – which as I suggest are no more traditional than flipped teachers, simply more authoritarian – can offload their teacher-centered lecturing to some video and then spend class time practicing. But what, exactly, is the value of "lecturing"? If it's really well done, then sure, make a video. But personally I would rather read a book than watch a video if I'm seeking new knowledge, and although I might be a minority, there is nothing inherently easier about learning from a lecture, whether in person or in a video. It's easier for some, harder for others. In fact, if you count books as a way to present new material to students outside of class, then flipped learning is nothing knew at all, and has been going on since Socrates asked his students to read some Sophists before coming to talk to him.

In the domain of foreign languages, specifically, I have not, personally, ever had (attended) a class that was NOT flipped, in this broader, fundamental sense. Good foreign language pedagogy is grounded in the principle of "practice, not lecture." I strive for this in my own classrooms, although I don't always succeed, being a somewhat compulsive lecturer. Having said that, the "flipped" classroom is definitely a novelty in the Korean context, where the teacher-centered, passive-reception classroom model is king.

So on the one hand, I support Curt's idea of "flipping" his classrooms. But I would urge him to take it a step further – rather than wasting a lot of time and effort making or finding "videos" as if that were somehow the most essential aspect of the flipped classroom, I would suggest instead trying to dispense with the lecture altogether, and move toward a classroom where language topics are taught implicitly and through practice. This can still be structured to focus on the skills of accuracy and grammar-translation that are essential to mastering the Korean test system.

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: but I don’t know

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

What I'm listening to right now.

EXO, "너를 위해(For you)" – this is from the soundtrack for a historical drama ("달의연인 – 보보경심려") I haven't actually ever watched – I don't really get into the extremely popular Korean historical dramas – their revisionism is too annoying. But my student told me I must listen to this song. Normally, when it comes to pop culture, I do what they say if it's relatively painless. It seems the best way to keep up to date. It's just a sappy love song.

가사.

다른 공간의 다른 시간이지만
내 사랑이 맞을거야
바람에 스치는 너의 향기로도
난 너인걸 알수 있어

but I don't know
내 맘속에 언제부터 니가 산건지
I don't know
너를 보면 설레는 이유

나를 스쳐 지나가도 돼
니가 날 다 잊었으니까
니가 기억할 때까지
나는 너를 기다릴테니까
그대여 나를 바라봐줘요
여전히 그대도 나를 사랑하나요
그대여 내눈을 보고 얘기해줘요
사랑하는 맘은 숨겨지지 않아요

너에겐 내가 곁에 있었단
사실을 절대로 잊지는 마
널 위해 모든걸 바칠 수 있었던
내 마음을 지우지마

but I don't know
내맘속에 언제부터 니가 산건지
I don't know
너를 보면 설레는 이유

나를 스쳐 지나가도 돼
니가 날 다 잊었으니까
니가 기억할 때까지
나는 너를 기다릴테니까

같은 공간 같은 시간 함께 있잖아
언제라도 내 곁에 와 너의 자리로

라라라라라라라
With you 너를 위해서
그대여 나를 바라봐줘요
여전히 그대도 나를 사랑하나요

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: I’m with Goethe on this one

Banalities & Journaling / Found Online / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs / Quotable

I find most conspiracy theories – whether left, right, center, or way-out-there – implausible. My own response to most conspiracy theories can be summarized by the old quote from Goethe, "misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent." This idea has circulated more recently as "Hanlon's Razor": "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

Mostly, I have given up trying to explain why conspiracy theories are implausible to those who espouse them, however. It seems a fruitless exercise, and anyway it's a lot of work.

I ran across an excellent debunking of the recently emergent conspiracy theory (being propagated by Trump et al.)  that Democrats are rigging the upcoming US election. Written by a commenter who goes by "CrunchyFrog" on the Clintonist left-of-center blog "Lawyers, Guns & Money," it is so well reasoned I felt like sharing it. Not that I have the mistaken belief that someone who believes Trump's voter-fraud theory would be persuaded by this to change their minds, but I cite it just because I admire this kind of reasoning. I think the author would not mind having most of it reproduced here (I clipped off the gratuitous insults and Trumpist-baiting at either end as detracting from the clarity of argument). 

Regarding the black voter busing scheme. Let’s think about this logically (not possible for the GOP, I know, but bear with me). If I were running such a scheme what would I have to do to make an effective dent in the results? As a starting point, a lot of Colorado wingnuts think that Obama won there in 2012 by cheating. He won by 138k votes, so let’s use 140k votes as a starting point. So let’s say I have a bus full of black voters – say 66 people (common capacity limit on school buses). So if every bus is filled to near capacity that’s about 2200 bus-visits to the polling stations. How many polling stations can a given bus hit in a day? Well, your typical precinct has 2-3 people checking voters in and each one processes about 2 per minute, so that’s over 30 minutes just to check in (of course there will be other voters, too), plus time to drive between precincts. Seriously, if you are counting on more than 10 precincts per bus per day you’re going to be disappointed. So that’s 220 buses chartered for the day, and a total of about 14k fraudulent voters.

Holy freaking crap. The logistical problems of arranging that many fraudulent voters, ALL of whom are risking felony sentences and NONE of whom have ever talked about it to anyone. Now plan to arrange for 140k fake registrations using the matching photos for each person and arrange it so that the manager of each bus makes sure that every voter gets the exact fake ID for each precinct. And NO MISTAKES – remember no one has ever been caught doing this because Democrats, who are inept in government, are utter geniuses when it comes to vote fraud. So that means there NEVER can be a situation where a fake voter encounters a registrar who says “Hey, I live on that street, I’ve never seen you” or similar.

By the way, the absolutely easiest logistical part of this scheme is arranging for photo ID. Assuming you have that many people willing to commit felonies for whatever you are paying them and have arranged everything else in detail, getting fake photo IDs for them is simple and routine. So photo ID laws do absolutely jack shit to stop massive vote fraud – but of course that wasn’t their real intention, was it?

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: I’ll post this later

Banalities & Journaling

I'm really dissatisfied with my tendency to procrastinate, lately. I have a lot of stuff piled up at work, and I have things that need to get done related to my upcoming trip, and I'm just doing really badly lately at getting things done. 

I don't have a solution at hand. I'm trying to clean up some of the clutter in my apartment, with the thinking that the messy environment is part of what is inhibiting me. I worry that I have "hoarder" tendencies, sometimes. 

This post is more banal than usual – strictly journaling my current state of mind.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: Dogma-eat-dogma

Banalities & Journaling / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism

I recently ran across the concept of "epistemic vice." In the first instant, I found the approach appealing, but it quickly lost its luster as I examined it more critically.

Serpiente_alquimicaLike other "virtue/vice" systems, it has a weakness, which is that it sets up a moral judgment on something that should be approached objectively, at least in accordance with my own ethical intuitions. In fact, there's a particular problem with the concepts of epistemic virtue and epistemic vice, which is that, if you look at things at a more "meta" level, the paired concepts themselves ought to be condemned as instances of epistemic vice, under the latter's definition: it is an act of leaping to a judgment of a person's behavior (specifically, the holding of epistemic beliefs, which is a sort of behavior) without considering alternatives. To say "close-mindedness is a vice and not a virtue" is itself a kind of dogmatism, and the act of a closed mind. The whole thing swallows its own tail, ouroboros style, and thus fails.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: the commute is the computation

Banalities & Journaling / Found Online / Science & SciFi

As I've mentioned before, I enjoy trying to understand neuroscience and cognition-related topics, although I'm not really very well equipped, intellectually.

I recently was led to a very dense bit of reading on the topic of just how the brain's structural components lead to its computational abilities, and the author was advocating the apparently radical idea that one aspect of brain-structure that deserves greater study is that of the role of neuronal mitochondria. Of course I don't get it all, but I was fascinated.

I was particularly struck by two interrelated conceptual bits:

  1. the syncytic aspect of neuron structure, a concept that had never registered with me before
  2. the mitochondria-as-ants-in-a-colony metaphor: "the commute is the computation." (this seems to rely on (a) because the only if the neurons are joined syncytically can the mitochondria "migrate" around in the manner suggested)

I had one thought (I hesitate to call it an epiphanic moment), which I'm not sure better reflects understanding or lack of understanding: Is it possible that the electrical aspect of the brain's activity reflects not the computations taking place but rather the "clock", on the computer metaphor? That is to say, the electrical pulses are the clock, while the chemical activity taking place in mitochondria and at synapses are the actual computational work.

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: a thousand telephones that don’t ring

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Media (Texts/Music/Movies etc) / Not My Poetry

I'm not completely shocked at the idea of Bob Dylan winning the Nobel Prize for Literature. I would be first to defend his "literariness," and have done so consistently for decades. He is a great poet. 

Still, there is something a bit parochial about the choice, in my opinion. In my observation, Dylan has been more popular in Europe and Latin America than in North America for many decades now, and as such he seems to be a regional choice betraying a certain European parochialism.

Regardless, as one blog commenter I read pointed out: who else deserves the Nobel in Literature? Let's actually look at who's out there, and then ask, how does Dylan compare to these others, in terms of cultural impact?

What I'm listening to right now.

Dave Alvin, covering Bob Dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited." Given that Dylan is a better poet than singer, I thought finding a cover with a clearer voice might do better justice to the literary aspect. This one seems appropriate.

Old-highway-sign-mn-us61Lyrics.

Oh, God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe said, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
God said, "No" Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want, Abe, but
The next time you see me comin', you better run"
Well, Abe said, "Where d'you want this killin' done?"
God said, "Out on Highway 61"

Well, Georgia Sam, he had a bloody nose
Welfare department, they wouldn't give him no clothes
He asked poor Howard, "Where can I go?"
Howard said, "There's only one place I know"
Sam said, "Tell me quick, man, I got to run"
Oh, Howard just pointed with his gun
And said, "That way, down Highway 61"

Well, Mack the Finger said to Louie the King
"I got forty red-white-and-blue shoestrings
And a thousand telephones that don't ring
Do you know where I can get rid of these things?"
And Louie the King said, "Let me think for a minute, son"
Then he said, "Yes, I think it can be easily done
Just take everything down to Highway 61"

Now, the fifth daughter on the twelfth night
Told the first father that things weren't right
"My complexion," she says, "is much too white"
He said, "Come here and step into the light"
He said, "Hmm, you're right, let me tell the second mother this has been done"
But the second mother was with the seventh son
And they were both out on Highway 61

Now, the roving gambler he was very bored
Trying to create a next world war
He found a promoter who nearly fell off the floor
He said, "I never engaged in this kind of thing before
But yes, I think it can be very easily done
We'll just put some bleachers out in the sun
And have it on Highway 61"

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: Yeahhh

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

The vocabulary list included the word "polite."

I asked my student, "Are you polite?"

He made a mock-aggressive face, looking like a drunk fratboy, and roared, "Yeahhh!"

He has a pretty good sense of humor and irony.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: A piracy of convenience

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Internet & Blogging

I have evolved a pattern as far as acquiring new music. I follow leads of things I'm interested in to youtube. Most anything can be found there, uploaded by somebody. 

There are free online web services that quickly "grab" the soundtrack of any youtube video and will give you an mp3 file. So I grab the file, and I save it to my computer, and then I use FTP to put it on my private server (my secret cloud). With my new Linux system, this is almost trivial, since FTP is integrated with the file manager – my cloud is just another folder on my desktop.

On my Samsung Android phone, I open my FTP app and grab the mp3 file into my Music folder on my phone. 

In about 3 minutes, I have acquired a new song or piece of music and can listen using my phone, which is also my main mp3 player. The one drawback is if the youtube version I've captured is of poor quality… but generally some google-fu can find a better version.

In fact, I believe artists should be remunerated for their work. But I can't get Amazon to work smoothly with my system – it doesn't play nicely with the Korean internet (at least, not for someone who wants to pay with a US-based identity), for one thing, nor with Linux, for another thing. Other online music vendors create the same kinds of problems. Further, the hoops they make you jump through and the crap they put on your computer, as part of their efforts to monetize customer buying interests and follow online behavior are off-putting.

So what I do is that I go into Amazon and "buy" the music I like, but I never download it – because I already have the file using my – for me – easier system. The artists get their money, and I get my music in the most convenient way. 

What I'm listening to right now.

Brian Eno and John Cale, "Spinning Away."

Lyrics.

Up on a hill, as the day dissolves
With my pencil turning moments into line
High above in the violet sky
A silent silver plane – it draws a golden chain
One by one, all the stars appear
As the great winds of the planet spiral in
Spinning away, like the night sky at Arles
In the million insect storm, the constellations form
On a hill, under a raven sky
I have no idea exactly what I've drawn
Some kind of change, some kind of spinning away
With every single line moving further out in time
And now as the pale moon rides (in the stars)
Her form in my pale blue lines (in the stars)
And there, as the world rolls round (in the stars)
I draw, but the lines move round (in the stars)
There, as the great wheels blaze (in the stars)
I draw, but my drawing fades (in the stars)
And now, as the old sun dies (in the stars)
I draw, and the four winds sigh (in the stars)

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: depanoramification

Banalities & Journaling / Internet & Blogging / My Photos

There once was an online photo-hosting service called Panoramio. I never used it much, but I liked it because it had the ability to link one's photos directly to googlemaps – the photos could be geolocated, and seen by others.

I only ever had a total of 19 photos hosted on Panoramio, but I liked that they were there. I considered them among my best photos, and each photo was "viewed" by Panoramio users 20,000-30,000 times.

Well, Panoramio is closing down. It was long ago acquired by google, and finally google got tired of it. They've got some other thing they would rather users use that presumably offers similar functionality, but it's part of their social network dumpster fire, which I have no interest in. 

Here, for posterity, are the 19 photos I had on Panoramio – now saved on my server, but of course the active geolocation is turned off. I have had to remove the Panoramio slideshow widget from my blog's sidebar, since it no longer works.

200708xx_casadelosamigosac

Casa de los Amigos, Mexico City (where I lived and worked, 1986-87), taken 2007

200708xx_piramidedelsolteotihuacan

Pirámide de la Luna, desde Pirámide del Sol, Teotihuacán, taken 2007

200708xx_collisionwithbutterfly

My truck's front license plate, Sentinal, North Dakota, taken 2007

20070810_madriverbeach

Mad River Beach, Arcata, California, taken 2007

20080111_munhwachodeunghakgyo

문화초등학교, Goyang, Gyeonggi, taken 2008

20080111_ringguaporeomeohakwon

링구아포럼어학원, Goyang, Gyeonggi, taken 2008

20080307_jeongbalsanyeok_ipgu1beon

정발산역 입구1번, Goyang, Gyeonggi, taken 2008

20090501_pajugeumchon

Geumchon, Paju, Gyeonggi, taken 2008

20090501_welcometogoyang

Welcome to Goyang, Gyeonggi, taken 2008

20090602_hosugongwon

밤에 호수공원, Goyang, Gyeonggi, taken 2009

20091027_portsaintnicholasroad

Port Saint Nicholas Road, Craig, Alaska, taken 2009

20091117_heavenmanitoba

Emerson, Manitoba, taken 2009

20100215_yeonjudae

연주대, Gwanak, Gyeonggi, taken 2010

20100220_geumsansa

금산사, Jeonju, Jeollabuk, taken 2010

20100402_sakurajimakagoshima

Sakurajima, Kagoshima, taken 2010

20100918_mudeungsandeungsan

무등산으로 등산, Gwangju, Jeollanam, taken 2010

20110128_nearmillaamillaa

Millaa Millaa, Queensland, taken 2011

20120915_namsantowerseoul

Namsan Sunset, Itaewon, Seoul, taken 2012

20121013_hugokgoyanggyeonggi

Hugok, Goyang, Gyeonggi, taken 2012

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: Note 7!

Banalities & Journaling / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

Sometimes in my debate classes, if I need to lighten the mood or want to give a reward, I have the kids do an "absurd debate." I have a list of a whole bunch of different possible absurd debate topics, and I'll let the students choose one to do. I posted a short list of topics some years ago, but the list has since grown longer. Here is my current absurd topics list, for the sake of documentation. 

1. "Santa Claus is a criminal."
2. "Black is the best color."
3. "Aliens make the best friends."
4. "Unicorns are better than zebras."
5. "A smartphone is smarter than a dog."
6. "The moon is made of green cheese."
7. "The earth is flat."
8. "The teacher is a ghost."
9. "This debate is boring."
10. "Women are smarter than men."
11. "Barack Obama is a robot."
12. "All cars should be the same color."
13. "Monkeys make the best soccer players."
14. "Alligators are better than crocodiles."
15. "Mars should be destroyed."
16. "Rice is dangerous."
17. "The capital of South Korea should be moved to Ulleung-do."
18. "Zombies are harmless."
19. "Baseball should be outlawed."
20. "This class is a waste of time."
21. "Soccer is better than basketball."
22. "League of Legends is better than Starcraft."
23. "Homer Simpson is a perfect father."
24. "Cheating is OK if no one knows."
25. "Men should be allowed to wear dresses too."
26. "Vampires are scarier than werewolves."
27. "Chickens came before eggs."
28. "Iron Man should fight Batman."
29. "School is useless."
30. "Beauty is the only important thing."
31. "Pirates can beat ninjas in a fight."
32. "The world would be better if Harry Potter was never invented."
33. "It is easier to fight one horse-sized duck than to fight fifty duck-sized horses."
34. "Marriage is bad."
35. "Park Geun-hye would be a better president if she wore a hat."
36. "The North Pole is more interesting than the South Pole."
37. "E-Mart is better than HomePlus."
38. "The Lake in Lake Park is too small."
39. "The word 'the' is useless."
40. "Boogers are more disgusting than spit."
41. "It is better to be a dragon than have a dragon."

One of the most popular propositions with the students is "A smartphone is smarter than a dog" – which often gets simplified to "A smartphone is better than a dog." Today we had a debate on that topic in my special 7th grade debate class. 

One student, Finn, said that smartphones were better, because dogs can hurt people, for example by biting them.

Henry had an excellent rebuttal, that made everyone laugh. He said, simply: "Note 7." 

This is a reference to the recent difficulties Samsung has been having with their Galaxy Note 7 smartphone, which has a tendency to explode, and which has been recalled. 

I had to give the win to Henry on this debate. 

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: Actual travel plans

Banalities & Journaling

After waffling for several years, I have finally taken the leap and committed to a trip to the US, this November (next month). The international leg of the trip is booked.

LA will be the point of arrival and departure, but the current planned itinerary also includes Minneapolis and Ketchikan. With only 2 weeks, fitting in all the widely dispersed places I would like to visit will be impossible – I have to focus on those places that feel most pressing or important.

I will be traveling with two Korean friends, who have never been to the US. So I will be a bit of a tour guide, but they will also be able to hopefully make some of the travel issues I have been dreading a little more manageable: Two real ajeossis and an honorary ajeossi wannabe, seeing a bit of the US.

Tentative dates: 

  • Minnesota: November 6-11
  • Los Angeles: November 11-14
  • Ketchikan / Prince of Wales: 14-18

If you are in one of those three areas, I will love to see you. On the Minnesota leg, if there is time and will, a road trip to Chicago is possible… but I can't make promises, as I have some issues to resolve in Minnesota first.

More later.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: Gobong Burning

Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

As I was walking to work, just now, I looked up to see vast billowing clouds of black smoke over Gobong Hill. Sometimes I go walking over there. I wonder what is burning? It looked like a tire or petroleum fire. 

2016-10-04_gobongburning

Right as I took this picture from a pedestrian bridge over Gobong-ro, a firetruck raced by , below. You can just barely make out its redness through yellow trees under the blue highway sign.

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: 개천절

Banalities & Journaling

Today is that most peculiar of Korean holidays, "Foundation Day" (개천절). I guess Dangun showed up around 2333 BC, and they want to commemorate it.

I'm happy to have a day off. Work will be busy this week, as last.

I avoided my computer for much of the day. That always feels virtuous, although I don't really believe it to be virtuous.

[daily log: walking, 1km]

Caveat: Got my smart uniform / And my duty to perform

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / Not My Poetry

I was in the US Army, stationed at Camp Edwards, Paju (Geomchon), South Korea, in 1990. I hated my sergeant – he was corrupt, which distorted my chain of command.

He would volunteer our squad for details (extra tasks, like cleaning post latrines or moving boxes at the warehouse), currying favor with the Company CO, and then promptly disappear, to meet with his girlfriend at the post NCO club (bear in mind that he was married, with a wife and kids back in the States, and that his girlfriend, as an enlisted member of the same battalion, was off-limits due to rules about fraternization). The rest of the squad was on the line for getting the detail done.

The sergeant was a terrible hypocrite, and it was only a matter of time before I got out of line and said something insubordinate. When I did, I was disciplined. The company CO put me on an "extra duty" detail that was, in fact, the best thing that happened to me in the Army.

I was obligated to ride as a "US military presence" with a group of Korean civilians whose job it was to go onto US bases all over Gyeonggi Province and collect boxes for shipment of personal effects of US service personnel, via civilian courier, back to the US (or to other US military bases around the world). I think basically I was with them to provide a kind of "peace of mind" to the US military personnel who were entrusting their possessions to the Korean civilians. I accompanied an ROK NCO who was functioning as a "Customs liaison" – his job was to make sure no US soldiers were shipping contraband. My job was just to tag along so that the military presence was "bi-national," as far as I could tell. I had no actual duty whatsoever, although at the start of the duty I'd been forced to memorize a set of Korean customs regulations as applied to US service personnel.

I was never called upon to make use of this information, however. Sometimes the ROK soldier would make me hold his clipboard. Typically, the Korean soldiers always enjoyed chances to be "in command" of US soldiers, and I was happy to go along with it, for the most part. None of the Korean NCO's I worked with were in any way corrupt compared to the US NCO's at Camp Edwards, who, with the shining exception of  Staff Sergeant Jones (a few links up my chain of command, and the closest kind of "friend" I had during this period), were all a pretty bad bunch.

1_1Enter2ndDiv1The ROK soldier, who was a different person on different days, was really the only person who had any English competency at all. The Korean "ajeossis" who packed the boxes and drove the truck had only a few limited phrases. They were exceedingly kind and friendly toward me, however, and during my 3 months of special duty, I became a part of their "team," in a way that never occurred with the ROK soldiers. I was their pet American. I spent between 6 and 8 hours a day with this team, 4 days a week. I loved riding around the Korean countryside with them, from US base to US base, from Panmunjom (several times) all the way down to Osan. I got to visit every single active US military installation in the region, while spending most of my time in transit between, stopping at bunshik joints at the side of the highway and eating excessively spicy ramen with slices American cheese floating on top – a favorite of these men. I learned some of my first phrases of Korean. All these years later, they are still the few phrases that come most naturally to me.

There were long waits, sometimes. I carried my current Dostoyevsky or Gogol novel and would read. The Camp Edwards post library inexplicably had an excellent collection of Russian literature in translation, and thus my year in Korea was when I worked my way through most of the Russian greats. I also had my little Sony Walkman (this was 1990, right?). I only had 4 cassettes, however. So they were on constant rotation. 

One of those tapes was Nik Kershaw. Even now, if I hear one of his songs, I become exceedingly nostalgic for those road trips along the DMZ with those ajeossis. This is even stronger when the day is drizzly and gray, late Summer fading into early Fall, and I look out my window at the same Korea I saw then (with a few buildings added). The picture (found online), above right, shows the south check point, back in the day, which I remember vaguely. It's less than 10 km from my current home. I start craving spicy cheese ramen.

What I'm listening to right now. 

Nik Kershaw, "Know How."

Lyrics.

Got a badge upon my chest
I'm a cut above the rest
So I can tell you what to do

Got my regimental hat
Got my "by the good book" chat
So I can tell you where to go

I've got a job to do and I'm telling you
I intend to do it well
It's easy when you know how

Got my smart uniform
And my duty to perform
So I
Don't care you who you are

I'm the only one who can spoil your fun
With one shake of the head

It's easy when you know how, know way
Know where and know today
Know mercy, know time
Know reason, know rhyme
Know how

I can tell you I'm the law
With my medals from the war
So don't tell me what to do
With my narrow point of view

Though I know you're probably right, I guess
It's still not easy saying yes
It's easy when you know how, know way
Know where and know today
Know mercy, know time
Know reason, know rhyme

Know how

[daily log: walking, 1.5km]

Caveat: 마음에 드는 방이 없었다

Banalities & Journaling / Quotable / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

So, I was reading a random blog, and ran across this little meme, which is not that new:

“Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 45. The first sentence explains your love life.”

Curious to have my love life explained, I immediately did this.
The book nearest to me was TOPIK in 30 days – this is a book for self study of Korean vocabulary, intended for preparation for the TOPIK test (Test Of Proficiency In Korean – and as a side note, ¿why in the world does the main Korean language proficiency test have an English acronym?). Not that I’m preparing for the test, but I do try to compel myself to study Korean vocabulary sometimes.
On page 45, the sentence was an example of usage of the verb 구하다 [gu.ha.da = “get”]. The sentence read,

오후 내내 방을 구하러 다녔지만 마음에 드는 방이 없었다.
I’ve been looking all afternoon to get a new room, but there’s none that are appealing.

In fact, this is quite plausible, as a kind of metaphorical explanation of my love life.

A thought for the day, if that’s what it is:

“What if we’re not conscious, we just think we are?”

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: The cities of long ago, re-dreamed

Banalities & Journaling / Life is a Dream

Wow, that was a weird dream.

I was in some Simcity version of San Francisco – the city of my childhood, mediated by the simplifications of game theory and the fever dreams of utopian urban planners. I was driving one of my old VW Beetles (I owned 3 different ones, over the years – the one I was driving most resembled the last one I owned, with its vato-ized steering-wheel and missing gearshift knob).

I wanted to the drive across the Golden Gate bridge. I was approaching from the south, on those raised viaducts through the Presidio, but the city's skyline hovered off where Marin should be. Furthermore, the toll plaza had been converted into a campground. "Isn't this the plot of some post-apocalyptic movie?" I thought to myself, inside the dream.

Reaching the bridge, there was some strange change in procedure – my car would be taken across the bridge by a robot train, while I had to walk. I shrugged, like Kafka's K, and went with the flow. I left my car to the robot trains, under the management of an angry Mexican, and started walking. I was with some companions, mostly visitors to me while I'd been in the cancer hospital: Peter, Grace, Curt, Helen. They were ignoring me.

The walk across the bridge was quite challenging. Reality became Inception-like (as in the movie "Inception," which actually I didn't like that much, but the CGI cinematography is compelling). The bridge began to twist and tilt and bend. But unlike in "Inception," the twisting, tilting and bending was all completely mechanical. The Golden Gate bridge was a giant clockwork mechanism with a million moving parts, like a Transformer car – but instead, a bridge. And it wasn't becoming a robot, it was simply becoming a bridge with a life of its own. So the deck of the bridge moved and shifted and tilted vertiginously until I was first standing on the underside of the deck, and then on the top of one of the great, red-painted towers, without having walked at all, but merely clambered around as the direction of down shifted.

I did not enjoy being atop the tower – I have a fear of heights, after all. I looked down and waited, hoping the bridge would transform again so I could walk safely to the end. When it kept shifting and instead I ended up hanging from a cable, I let go and fell a short distance to the highway deck again. I ran to the north side of the bridge, and found myself in downtown Vancouver, BC. Looking back, the Golden Gate bridge was now the Lion's Gate Bridge, but Stanley Park had been filled up with rowhouses in the San Francisco style. Vancouver is a city I visited several times in my adolescence, but I would not consider the city deeply familiar – the main thing that links it to San Francisco, aside from their somewhat similar urban patterns, is that it is a city from my childhood, rather than from later in life.

I looked around for the robot trains, and I saw them, but my VW was missing. I began to walk. The sun was hot, and I began looking for the ferry. Why did I need to find the ferry? Why did I expect to find it in downtown Vancouver? Walking in the hot sun reminded me of Mexico, so soon I was on the outskirts of La Paz, the southern Baja desert shimmering in the heat. The heat was oppressive.

That made me wake up. I'd put my head under my blanket, like a turtle, and it was too warm. I'd slept later than usual – much later.

Whenever I sleep much later than my usual 6-7 AM wake-up time, I imagine that my body's immune system is fighting something. And the dreams get weird.

Case in point.

[daily log: walking, 7.5km]

Caveat: no less makings of the sun

Banalities & Journaling / Not My Poetry

The Planet on the Table

Ariel was glad he had written his poems.
They were of a remembered time
Or of something seen that he liked.
Other makings of the sun
Were waste and welter
And the ripe shrub writhed.
His self and the sun were one
And his poems, although makings of his self,
Were no less makings of the sun.
It was not important that they survive.
What mattered was that they should bear
Some lineament or character,
Some affluence, if only half-perceived,
In the poverty of their words,
Of the planet of which they were part.
– Wallace Stevens (American poet, 1879-1955)
I admit that Stevens’ poems make me feel discouraged about my own pathetic efforts at poetry. In my irrelevant opinion, he was the greatest American poet of the 20th century. Then again, I’d put Robinson Jeffers in the top 5 too – and most people haven’t even heard of him.
[UPDATE 2020-03-31: While doing some routine maintenance on this here blog, I am embarrassed to realize, only now, that I have cited this poem twice on this blog. This is the second appearance. The first was on 2015-10-03. Well, I guess it’s a pretty good poem.]
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

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