Caveat: Fragmented. Exiled.

I’ve commented before that I don’t read books “normally.” I do read a great deal, but I have a short attention span, I skip around. I’m almost always non-linear in my approach. Many people complain about this – not about that I’m doing it, but that it seems to be a common affliction, these days. People like to blame the internet, and blogs, and e-readers, and things like that. I don’t think I have such an excuse – I was reading books via what I termed my “random access method” long before the internet even existed. I read non-fiction non-linearly even when I was in high school, in the early 1980’s. I would pick up an interesting history book, and I would read a page here, and a page there. At the next sitting, I would do the same thing. If I recognized a page, I would read some other page. The book was considered “done” at the point in time when I recognized all the pages I tried. More or less.

With novels, I still at least try to read linearly. But since I rarely use book-marks or other current-page-recording methods (e.g. the turned-down page corner, which I view as wanton and profoundly anti-book, from the standpoint of books-as-physical-objects), I often end up re-reading pages or even chapters of novels as well, or, on the other hand, missing chapters, too, as I flail about trying to find where I’d left off.

I do read a great deal online, lately. I can count on one hand the books which I’ve “finished” – such as it is, by my odd methods – in the last year or so.

pictureSo I’ve been feeling extremely “retro” in that I’m about 80% finished with a book that I’ve been pursuing in essentially linear, front-to-back fashion. I can’t even say why I’ve managed it. It’s just working out that way. The book is A Review of Korean History, Vol. 1: Ancient / Goryeo Era. It’s badly translated, and there are parts where the nationalist “Korea-can-do-no-wrong” subtext is annoying, but I think that’s part of why I like it, too – the Konglishy syntax and “view-from-inside” perspective means the book reads like a particularly ambitious essay from one of my sincere-yet-naive middle-schoolers.

Anyway, I’m mentioning it because of a passage that, unexpectedly, made me laugh. I’ll quote: “Cheok Jungyeong abruptly changed sides and banded with other subjects such as Kim Hyang, Yi Gongsu, and Jeong Jisang to arrest Yi Jagyeom and send him off to exile in Yeonggwang in 1127. This proved to be the end of the Inju Yi clan that had been at the center of power for some seven  generations.”

I laughed, of course, because of the phrase I put in bold, above. I had a year of exile in Yeonggwang, myself. It seems that even 1000 years ago, Yeonggwang was a backwater, exile kind of place. That seemed funny, to me. I could just imagine poor Yi Jagyeom, former prime minister to the Goryeo king, coping with a dumpy Yeonggwang apartment and being forced to eat Gulbi every day and growing tired of it. I mean, I’m sure it wasn’t like that – but that’s what I visualized. And it makes me think it might make for a funny episode in my never-to-be-completed (erm, always-in-fact-barely-started) novelization of my year in Yeonggwang.

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Caveat: 공자 앞에서 문자 쓴다

공자       앞에서      문자              쓴다
Confucius front-LOC letter[character] write
[…Like] writing in front of Confucius.

This is a proverb that expresses the ridiculousness of trying to teach a master. “…Trying to teach your grandmother to suck eggs” is the equivalent classic English language proverb, but that’s an English-language one that is so far out of date as to be incomprehensible to modern speakers.

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Caveat: un submarino particular en la playa

Fidel Castro escribió un ensayo entitulado "El mundo maravilloso del capitalismo" que parece ser un chiste estilo "primer día de abril." Se presta de el conjunto de imágenes del movimiento "Occupy…" pero con la retórica hiperbólica típica del líder cubano. Lo chistoso: "¡Verdad compatriotas que el capitalismo es cosa maravillosa! Quizás nosotros seamos culpables de que cada ciudadano no tenga un submarino particular en la playa."

Caveat: Thoughts

A Japanese company is making cute cat ears controlled by your thoughts. Really.

And they say Japan is in permanent recession… if this is what a society in permanent recession comes up with, well, then… bring it on. I seem to vaguely recall reading about something like this in William Gibson's novel, Count Zero, way back in the late 1980's.

Meanwhile, this blogging at Scientific American reveals the gaps in current neuroscience, despite achievements like the nekomimi above: "Neuroscientists: We don't really know what we are talking about, either." Ehrm… for the gullible, please note the April 1st dateline on the posting.

Caveat: 잘가친구

pictureEveryone knows my plastic alligators. I had Kevin the large plastic alligator and a recent acquisition, Baby Kevin 2.0, in my EP2 classroom earlier today. I was letting the students “hold” Kevin, during class (portrait of Kevin at left). But unfortunately, one boy was having trouble not playing with Kevin as we were trying to listen to a CD of some listening dialogues. So finally, I had to take Kevin back.

“Hojae-ya,” I said. “Give me Kevin.” The boy made a sad face. “He can sit over here,” I explained, sympathetically. I placed him on the podium at the front of the class.

Hojae gazed at the plastic alligator longingly. “잘가 친구 [chal-ga chin-gu],” he said, mournfully. That means “farewell, friend.”

It was like the tragic ending of a sad movie.


What I’m listening to right now.

Punch Brothers, “This is the Song.” The rain was falling steadily as I walked home, but the air was chilly. It reminded me of the winter I spent in Valdivia, Chile (August-October, 1994). It rained for 4 months. Without stopping.

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Caveat: I’m just ordinary student

My debate class students have been writing speeches for an imaginary chance to address the UN (see also earlier post). Here is another student of mine, on the topic of South Korea’s high incidence of student suicides. It’s not super well-written and it was a little short for the assignment, but I think she actually demonstrates some excellent rhetorical instincts – note her effective use of repetition and the exhortation at the end. My guess is that she is a stunningly good writer in her own language. As usual, I reproduce without corrections, with typos and all mistakes intact.

Hello. I am Kim Chae Yeon from South Korea. I’m just ordinary student you can meet anywhere. I think you wonder why I came here. I’m just ordinary student, but I think I have to say this in UN. Do you think all of the world students are happy? If you think all of the world students are happy, your thinking is wrong.

Especially, South Korea students life is all the same. School and Academy, School and Academy, Again and again and again…. Do you know how many students killed themselves in a day because of the education system? Only in South Korea, almost 42 students killed themselves in a day because of the education system. Do you think this education system is really correct? This education system takes the student’s happiness and life. I am not speaking only of student’s prospect. This is the biggest problem now.

The most serious problem is in front of your eye, buy why you only see the far from away like war or weapon?

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Caveat: I’m alive, how about you?

I'm really bad about staying in touch with people, sometimes. Lately, I've been in a very hermetic phase. Lately? Well, for the last few years, I guess. Haha.

My mother sent me an email, this morning, that underscored this fact. She wrote:

"I'm alive, how about you?"

I answered.

Caveat: Oh, Teacher, Don’t Say That!

My student said, "오오… 단어 좆같에" [ohh, dan-eo joj-kat-e]. This is bad Korean cussing – literally, it means "oh, vocabulary, like a dick," but the pragmatics (the elocutionary weight of it, so to speak) might be something like "oh, vocabulary is a motherfucker."

I often understand when my students are cussing in Korean. Most of the time, unless they're insulting me or one of their peers directly, I ignore it. This is in line with the way most Korean teachers seem to handle such things, in my experience. But he'd said it right in front of me. Rather than try to call him on it, or scold him, I tried a different strategy, this time. I repeated it, exactly, right back at him.

He laughed, and one of the girls in the class put her hand to mouth, scandalized. Then he said, "Oh, Teacher, Don't Say That!"

I laughed. "But you said it."

"Oh, I know. I'm sorry, teacher."

It actually resolved really well, in my opinion. I'll have to remember this in the future.

Caveat: she knows that it’d be tragic if those evil robots win

This is a song that’s so weirdly bad it’s good. I love it. Apparently the song is about battling cancer. [UPDATE: premonition….]

Flaming Lips, “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.”

Awesome.

The lyrics:

Her name is Yoshimi
she’s a black belt in karate
working for the city
she has to discipline her body

‘Cause she knows that
it’s demanding
to defeat those evil machines
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots defeat me

Those evil-natured robots
they’re programmed to destroy us
she’s gotta be strong to fight them
so she’s taking lots of vitamins

‘Cause she knows that
it’d be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots eat me

Yoshimi

‘Cause she knows that
it’d be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them

Oh Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots defeat me
Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots defeat me

Oh Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots eat me
Yoshimi, they don’t believe me
but you won’t let those robots eat me

Yoshimi

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Caveat: Preternatural Student Skills

We were giving a month-end test today. I was giving a listening test to a group of 7th graders, and one student, who I know has moderately high ability but who is stunningly lazy about studying or doing homework, stared at me during the entire time of the test.

Here's what's weird. He got the high score – by a great deal: 97%. And I had this weird feeling that he was somehow watching me, as we listened to the listening test, and was somehow reading my facial expressions or gestures to determine the answers. I think of myself as keeping a "straight" face during these tests, because I know that sometimes it is possible for a teacher to "give away" answers during a listening test in how they react to the possible answers given. But really… am I giving away the answers in some transparent way? Some tic or something?

Well, who knows? Should I ask him? Is it cheating? It's unconventional… to be certain. I should sit in the back of the class, maybe, next time, and see how he does.

Caveat: Childhood of a Circle

picture

A very cute story.

Childhood of a Circle from Kadavre Exquis on Vimeo.

Archibald, a creature to whom nothing ever happens sees his routine changed by the arrival of a mysterious circle.

-contact: fgsohn@gmail.com
-Directed and Animated by Kadavre Exquis
https://kadavrexquis.com/
-More to discover on facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Kadavrexquis
-Sound design by John Kassab
https://www.johnkassab.com/
-Voice over by Julian Smith
https://julianaubreysmith.com/
-Foley sounds by Adrian Medhurst

Music by Kadavre Exquis & guests
Get the Full soundtrack of 11 tracks, the poster, the full film, and other goodies here: https://kadavrexquis.bandcamp.com/album/childhood-of-the-circle-ost

Making Of :
https://kadavrexquis.com/Childhood-of-a-Circle-Landscapes
https://kadavrexquis.com/Childhood-of-a-Circle-Landscapes-II

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Caveat: My ZeroG Dumbphone

I hate my cellphone. I got it because when my old cellphone died two years ago, I just took the cheapest phone on offer (that could go with my particular contract) at the cellphone store in Yeonggwang. But now that ALL of my students have iPhones and Samsung Galaxies, I'm beginning to feel like a luddite. Some of my students asked me, earlier, when I was going to get a new 3G or 4G phone. I lied, and said I was happy with my "zero G dumbphone." Which made them laugh. But I'm not happy with it. Then, I saw an article at Atlantic Wire about "Dumbphone Pride." It's interesting, as some of the reasons in that article for avoiding the smartphone bandwagon resonate with me. Most notably, I, too, worry about "addiction," and, also, the cost of my current phone's usage plan is quite unbeatable – for 11 bucks a month I get more text and calling capacity than I'm capable of using. Most smartphone plans in Korea are going to run upwards of 50 or 80 bucks or more a month, and I'd probably find myself finding out I was capable of using more data than allowed under those plans, too.

In fact, I have not been much of an "early adopter" of cellphones – I was late to the cellphone bandwagon, having gotten my first in 2004. But in some other technologies, I have been a proud early adopter: I was using word processing in the late 1970's (Apple ][) email in the late 1980's (before the world wide web existed). I taught myself HTML and designed and posted my first webpage in 1995. It was even useful – it was a means of communicating with my students at UPenn, where I was a grad student.

I think if everything goes smoothly with my renewal at Karma (about which I'm feeling anxiety at the moment), I'll end up shopping for and getting a new smartphone. I really want a phone with a dictionary, for one thing. And having the internet in your pocket is clearly useful – I see my students using it all the time, both recreationally but even in educational ways, looking up words, finding pictures or information that pertain to classroom discussions, etc.

Caveat: Cool Black Bike

This is pretty cool. Some guy in Melbourne. I couldn't ever dream of doing such a thing, but it's fun to watch.

I'm feeling stressed lately.

Caveat: Slaves of Democracy

I’m having my debate class students write speeches “for the UN” – i.e. what would you say if you could address the United Nations?

One of my students offers some harsh, harsh words. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty intense from a seventh-grader. I’m not entirely comfortable with his implicit embrace of authoritarian solutions, but in other ways he’s very perceptive. As usual, I reproduce without corrections – I’ve changed his name, however (“Hong Gil Dong” is Korean for “John Doe”).

Good evening! All members of United Nation. I am Hong Gil Dong. I am from Republic of Korea. Just call me John. Today, I am going to show some opinions what all members have to listen and practice. I`m going to tell the problems of ethics, environment, and economy.

First, don`t think democracy is always ideal and make fair democracy. I think members of UN are slaves of democracy. Do you know why? Because if there is a good policy but it damages your country, you always say sophistry. Then, you don`t choose any policies. So is the democracy ideal? In addition, if there is a good policy which was made from weak country, you just ignore the policy. And it`s not fair.

Second, it`s both economy and environment problems. I think Un makes people, the slaves of money. Why? Because, your policies are good for economy but these are just protection for big companies, and big countries which like to destroy environment and take lots of money. Such as Republic of Korea, Japan, China, some countries of Europe, and USA. These countries are rich countries, and the top of mammonism. So if you keep making these policies, these countries will kill environment continuously, and make innocent people to slave of money.

Last, this is most environment problem. You say human must  develop with good environment but you force to join all environment treaties what countries don`t kill environment. But you don`t force to join these treaties what countries kill environment. So I think you stop talking symbiosis development.

I said some criticism to you. I wanted to criticize more but other people, Earth, and me will give you some chances. So please, practice good policies and carve my criticism in your heart. Thank you.   

I will conclude with a random picture, which I took in Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico in 2007.

picture

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Caveat: cualquier otra fuckin cosa

I’m a near-daily reader of the Language Log blog. I’ve never felt the urge to place a comment, before, but a coincidence today has induced me to want to do so. Geoffrey K Pullum posted about a hapless Indiana teenager who was expelled from school for tweeting about the amazingly productive nature (in the syntactic sense of productive) of the English word “fuck.” I felt sad, but the student’s observation is hardly news to one with some background in linguistics.

Shortly after reading that Language Log article, however, I happened to see, on facebook, the posting of an acquaintance of mine. She’s a native Spanish speaker, who I believe I should allow to remain anonymous – I don’t know her very well, as she’s one of those encounters-in-passing who becomes a “facebook-only friend.”

Her post was fascinating seen so shortly after reading the Language Log post, because it shows that the amazing syntactic productivity of the word “fuck” is crossing linguistic boundaries pretty successfully. Here’s the relevant facebook text:

picture

[transcribed: No voy a explicar más que ir a recitales me hace más feliz que cualquier otra fuckin cosa. FIN.]

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Caveat: sin remordimientos

Una cita encontrada en la facebook de una amiga:

Un sabio se paró ante un público y contó un chiste y todos se reiron. Al cabo de un rato, contó el mismo chiste y casi nadie reía; contó el chiste una y otra vez hasta que nadie se reía. Y dijo: si no puedes reírte varías veces de una sola cosa, ¿por qué lloras por lo mismo una y otra vez?

Translated:

A wise man got up in front of a group of people and told a joke, and everyone laughed. After a little while, he told the same joke and almost nobody laughed; he told the joke over and over, until nobody laughed. And then he said: if you can't laugh more than once or twice at the same thing, why do you cry over the same things over and over?

It has a zen-koan-like quality to it.

Caveat: Culinary Misadventures

I’ve posted before about my habit of sometimes pursuing rather random culinary undertakings. Today I attempted to make a vegan curry from scratch (even making my own curry powder). I attempted to use some tofu I had… I breaded it and fried it up in a style similar to abura age (as in kitsune udon). When the tofu was fried it was quite tasty (see picture below), but when I added it to my curry, it got rubbery.

picture

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And the balance of spices in my curry was off, too. So it was a rather atrociously mediocre creation.

Maybe next time.

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Caveat: Colossus

pictureI just watched a movie called “Colossus: The Forbin Project.” It’s a Strangelovesque, understated science-fiction movie from 1970. It’s not quite as over-the-top satirical as Dr Strangelove – It’s more subtle, and perhaps more dystopian… or utopian – depending on how much stock you own in Google Corp., Facebook, and their brethren. Rather than waiting for me to try to explain that joke, I recommend you watch the movie.

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Caveat: SoB

In one of my classes, we were discussing the fact that English has a plethora of vocabulary terms for young animals:

cat – kitten
lion – cub
goat – kid
pig – piglet
duck – duckling
etc.

Then I asked, “so what’s the term for a baby dog?”

All Koreans know the word “puppy,” but they don’t necessarily use it, semantically, as in English – it seems to just mean a cute dog (admittedly English can do the same thing, too). I assumed someone could think of this word, though.

Without even a pause, however, a bold seventh-grader raised his hand.

“Yes?” I said.

“Son of a bitch.”

Brilliant. I laughed for a few minutes.

Unrelatedly, a picture of the Ilsan power generation plant, on the east end of town, taken from standing across the street from the Costco. I was struck by the stark tree and the grey scudding clouds. The picture isn’t that good, though. Just random.

picture

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Caveat: N.A.S.A.

…Not the space agency: the hip hop muscial collective. It stands for “North America/South America.” Very inclusive.

What I’m listening to right now.

N.A.S.A. (feat. David Byrne, Chali 2na, Gift of Gab, Z-Trip), “The People Tree.”

pictureI originally started watching these N.A.S.A. videos for the surreal animation – they’re all very interesting, each different, mostly creepy, but well-done. So don’t watch just this one video – there are lots of incredible videos. Note, however – all of these videos have vignettes in them that would qualify as thematically NSFW.

But I really like the music, too.


Here are some other videos I liked.

 

N.A.S.A. “Watchadoin.”

N.A.S.A. “Strange Enough.” This video doesn’t seem very well connected with the song, but maybe I just don’t understand the song.

N.A.S.A. “Money.”

N.A.S.A. “O Pato.” “O Pato” translates as “The Duck” from Portuguese.

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Caveat: Purple Cat and Yellow Lion

I do “telephone teaching” sometimes, with the elementary students. Not very many, but about a half-dozen a week or so. I have some rules about how this works, since I designed the concept and suggested it as a way to build goodwill from parents (parents love the telephone teaching because they get to see their child actually using English on the phone – it’s a demonstration of the hagwon’s commitment to the students). So really, the telephone teaching is a sort of marketing gimmick more than it’s a valid pedogogical technique.

And it’s true that most of the students are pretty low ability. One thing that I do is that I ask the student to draw a picture based on something we’ve attempted to talk about. The conversations are pretty simple: “What do you like? What are you doing right now? What will you do this weekend?” Anyway, I tell them to draw something and present it to me the next time I see them. It’s a sort of comprehension test, too, then, since if I get the wrong picture (or no picture), I know they haven’t understood.

Jeonghyeon drew for me a Purple Cat and Yellow Lion, based on telephone instructions, on some scrap paper. She presented it to me yesterday, proudly.

picture

What I’m listening to right now.

Madonna, “Frozen.”

I distinctly remember when this song came out, in 1998. I remember I was sitting in the Burger King in Craig, Alaska. The video and song came on, on the TV in the restaurant. It was raining outside. It’s always raining in Craig, Alaska. It’s weird how some songs associate to such vivid memories.

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Caveat: Bilingualism

There's a really interesting article from the NYT about the cognitive benefits of bilingualism. I've believed this at some weird intuitive level since I was a teenager, and I made this weird half-hearted vow to spend my life learning languages. I haven't actually done very well. I've learned tiny bits of a lot of languages – but althought I've studied at some academic level about 20 languages, for most I've only done a semester or even less. I've only reached actual fluency in one other language (Spanish). Then, in descending order, I might list French, Korean, Russian, Portuguese, Japanese… where I have some rudimentary survival ability. My desire for and interest in languages is obviously much stronger than my mental capacity and/or my actual deep-seated motivation to learn them. I nevertheless believe one of the greatest and most lasting gifts we can give children is 'another language.'

Caveat: Collateralized Again

pictureI was collateralized once before – in the advertising sense, where my image got included in advertising material. It doesn’t bother me.

I like the picture this time – I’m deploying my alligator.

There’s a write up in an Ilsan area “trade publication” of some kind, about the hagwon biz. There’s a picture of the cover of the magazine, at right. The title is “학부모를 위한 최고의 명문학원 가이드,” which would roughly translate as Guide for Parents to the Best Hagwon [after-school academies] in Ilsan. The magazine is distributed at public school parent meetings.

For some reason that our boss doesn’t understand, Karma English Hagwon is the first write-up in the guide. This is extremely lucky, from an advertising perspective. There’s a two page write up on Karma Academy, with yours-blogging-truly, alligator to hand, on the second page.

Here’s a scan of the two pages. You can see our entire staff (yes, it’s a small hagwon). There were a bunch of children down the hall behind me yelling when we took the picture – because they were all in their classrooms unsupervised. Very exciting moment.

The picture of me with the alligator is slightly ironic – because that is perhaps my single most difficult student there, facing the alligator. You can click the below image if you wish to embiggen it.

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Caveat: 할아범탱이

One of my students called me 할아범탱이 [harabeomtaengi]. I didn’t really know what this meant, but I could guess it was related in some way to 할아버지 [harabeoji = grandfather, old man]. I asked my colleagues later what it meant, and they said it’s kind of an informal way of saying grandpa that can be either condescending or affectionate, depending on context. I would guess since it was coming from a second grader, it’s more likely to be the latter than the former. I’ve decided the best idiomatic translation would be a word like “gramps.”

I confess that, as has happened before, it’s really disconcerting if not downright depressing to be called “gramps,” regardless of context or language. I’m only 46.

It’s the gray hair, I would guess. And receding hairline. The fact that Korean men universally dye their hair in middle age and late middle age means that only genuinely really old men have gray hair. So that sets the cultural context.

I think I want to join a monastery.

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