… but my brother is in Florida.
He sent me this picture.
One of our bonds, when we were both much younger, was building sandcastles on the beach in L.A. As an example, the below picture was taken at Santa Monica in circa 1994.
You can see the stylistic similarities.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
Drizzly Sunday, and a typical lack of motivation to do even the barest minimum of things I probably should do.
What I'm listening to right now.
Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard, "Pancho and Lefty."
Lyrics were by Townes Van Zandt.
Livin' on the road my friend
Is gonna keep you free and clean
And now you wear your skin like iron
And your breath is hard as kerosene
You weren't your mama's only boy
Her favorite one it seems
She began to cry when you said
Good-bye, sank to your dreams
Pancho was a bandit boy
His horse was fast as polished steel
He wore his gun outside his pants
For all the honest world to feel
Pancho met his match, you know
On the deserts down in Mexico
Nobody heard his dyin' word
Oh but that's the way it goes
<chorus:>
All the Federales say
We could have had him any day
They only let him go so long
Out of kindness I suppose
Lefty he can't sing the blues
All night long like he used to
The dust that Pancho bit down South
Ended up in Lefty's mouth
The day they lay poor Pancho low
Lefty split for Ohio
Where he got the bread to go
There ain't nobody knows
<chorus:>
All the Federales say
We could have had him any day
They only let him go so long
Out of kindness I suppose
The poets tell how Poncho fell
And Lefty's livin' in a cheap hotel
The desert's quiet, Cleveland's cold
And so the story ends we're told
Pancho needs your prayers, it's true
Save a few for Lefty too
He only did what he had to do
And now he's growin' old
<chorus:>
All the Federales say
We could have had him any day
They only let him go so long
Out of kindness I suppose
A few gray Federales say
Could have had him any day
We only let him go so long
Out of kindness I suppose
[daily log: walking, 1 km]
My boss Curt handed me this document and said "here, you can read this."
I think it will take me a long time with a dictionary. It's an excerpt from a teaching innovation periodical… something about some great new teaching methodology or something.
What I'm listening to right now.
Linkin Park, "In The End."
Lyrics.
It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when…
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when…
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
[daily log: walking, 1km]
My notes from a recent staff meeting included a very cool alligator.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
I had a frustrating day with my elementary kids. I feel like I'm not bad as an English teacher, but sometimes I am befuddled by trying to teach kids other things, like how to be kind to each other.
Several incidents recently have underscored how cruel kids can be, and I am at an utter loss as to how to teach kindness – the one thing I am certain of is that getting angry and yelling and scolding is NOT the way… because, in fact, that is exactly the type of unkindness it is purported to prevent.
Anyway. Shrug.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
"Plexiglass Pontiac" sounds like the name of an alternative rock band from Michigan, but in fact it's a real thing that was made in 1939 to show off the new material called Plexiglass (clear plastic). They called it the "ghost car."
I saw a mention of it on the mymodernmet website. It reminded me of my childhood, indirectly – the exposed innards of pre-WWII cars were a fixture of my childhood, due to my father's hobby (and for a time, profession) of old car collector.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
We had a debate proposition in my Honors1-T반, "Criminals can be reformed." One student, Roy, either misunderstood or took bad notes. He argued the proposition "Criminals can be informed."
The reasons that he gave in his essay were incoherent. I wonder why?
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
Vona is a first year middle-school student (so, 7th grade). She has been stopping by now and then to say hi, since the middle schoolers are in exam prep right now and I don't see them in class.
Today, she stopped by and she said, "all you do is rest?" I had to show her that I was actually working on stuff and not just sitting idly at my desk in the staff room all evening while the middle schoolers labor away at grammar quizzes in their special prep classes. She nodded, as if not quite believing that I was working. She asked if I had any food. This is a standard refrain from middle school students. I offered to sell her a cookie for alligator dollars, but she demurred. She started to walk away.
Then she turned and complained, as if an afterthought, "Teacher! Kevin hit me."
"That seems believable," I said. "Well, probably he likes you," I mused, teasing.
"Oh." She considered this a moment, as if it genuinely had never occurred to her. "Well, I think it's OK, then."
She walked away.
[daily log: walking, 6.5 km]
What I'm listening to right now.
Sims, "Future Shock."
Lyrics.
I was born in 82
about the time of the Cold War flew
born when the world was small
before we connected the zoo
look at the way we grew
dropped the borders but we kept the walls
the things we made to pull us close push us all
we hear the ring but screen the calls
so close we could almost touch
but so far we don't speak on the bus
so close I can almost see your breath
but so far I can't hear your words
I don't go a day without a button pressed
the years go by in a blur
it's the time of plenty, inbox full
so why do I feel so goddamn empty?
but look at how connected we are
the whole globe at your fingertips
speed the pace it's an instant fix
Space Age but I feel boxed in
and it's wide open
and I'm dying to know
why I feel disconnected
am I dreaming demons, alienated
or do I just get what I expected?
they say it's greed that keeps people turning
feeds the lonely and the beasts of burden
East of Eden but at least we're earning
the ice is melting and the trees are burning
reporters all say it's all but lost
and all we can do is watch
so I walk with my shoulders dropped
watch these blocks stack up with stores
is this what we're working for?
filling that hole with goods, what's good?
but the chokehold ain't local no more
it's global and closing its doors
it ain't about right or wrong
what side you're on
but the things we traded
how many sights for many sights
how is your life?
I was born in 82 but I live in 2000 and now
all the things I thought I knew
turns out they were never around
and all the people I met today
well, they all the same feeling that emptiness
fill it up with Fendi till the trendiness fades
then throw that thing away
I want the one with the new features
until the next one out then
bury it a little deeper
add on to that man-made mountain
you could have it all, the campaign touting
the cars and the champagne fountain
but that pool's only deep enough to sink
but these fools don't even stop to think
they just want that bubbly
now they spilling on you
ain't that lovely?
what a mess since they jumped in
now they scream save me, save me to the public
but we barely know the subject
we're all out doing for us
in so far, so far in fact
so near so packed we don't speak on the bus
loss of love, loss of mind
loss of love, loss of mind
running out of time
loss of love, loss of mind
loss of love, loss of mind
damn near out of time
[daily log: walking, 1 km]
This is an aphorism from my aphorism book.
내 말이 좋으니 (네 말이) 좋으니 해도 달려 보아야 한다
nae mal.i joh.eu.ni joh.eu.ni hae.do dal.lyeo bo.a.ya han.da
my horse-SUBJ be-good-SINCE (your horse-SUBJ) be-good-SINCE do-CONC gallop-INF try-SHOULD
Although it may be that my horse is good or your horse is good, one must try it at a gallop.
Only by experience can we really know something. The part in parentheses was not in my aphorism book, but I was having trouble figuring out the grammar and when I googled the aphorism online, I got the version with the extra between parentheses, which made the meaning easier to figure out.
See? Only by experience.
[daily log: walking, 2 km]
Everyone needs a steam-powered motorcycle.
It is spring, I guess. I took this picture from the pedestrian footbridge crossing 일산로 (Ilsan Road) as I was arriving at work. That’s work: “카르마어(학원)” = “Karma Language (Academy)” – the last word obscured by blossoms.
I didn’t have a lot to do today, what I did do was a bit stressful. I’m not happy with my Alpha class. I need to rethink strategies.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
This was a flyer left on my door. This is a frequent form of advertising in Korea.
The main text is all borrowings from English: 치즈블링치킨 (chijeu-beulling-chikin = cheese bling chicken). Even the chickens have bling, now, it seems.
[daily log: walking, 7 km]
ONE DAY
Lightning over the hill in front
thunder over the hill behind
between the two
one dumb pebble
– Ko Un (Korean poet, b 1933)
I don't have the original Korean. I found this poem in a book of his poetry translated.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
What could possibly go wrong?
[daily log: walking, 6km]
Last night, about 11 pm, I had the TV on, which is becoming a usual thing. Keep in mind that it’s just Korean broadcast channels (I don’t pay for cable), so my level of comprehension of the 99% Korean-language broadcasts is only low-to-medium, and therefore I kind of just keep it on as a background noise. It’s part of my philosophy that one way that my Korean will improve is with maximization of input.
Sometimes these old Korean movies come on, on the EBS network. The one that came on caught my attention, and I sat and watched it, rapt.
It was 바보선언. I guess it could be translated as “Declaration of an Idiot” or “Fool’s Declaration.” The internet translation I ran across was “Declaration of Idiot” but the lack of particle makes me think it’s not a well-thought-out translation. More online research found out about it, here (there’s not much about it anywhere in English).It was directed by Lee, Chang-ho.
The lack of subitles on the television was irrelevant, for once – the movie has almost no dialogue and what dialogue there is strikes me as more absurdist or atmospheric than relevant. Compositionally, with its many non-sequiturs and absurdities, the thing reminded me of something by Ionesco, such as La Cantatrice Chauve, but impressionistically one could say it is a kind of cross be Koyaanisquatsi and a Korean slapstick comedy “Gag Concert.” The show’s soundscape is remarkable, too, and its interesting that it captures the atmospheric of the early 1980s better than most American
movies I’ve seen of the era (keeping in mind that that is my era, having graduated high school in the year this movie came out), despite being filtered through Korean culture.
Further, the movie is quite subversive. It’s important to remember that in 1983, Korea was still a military dictatorship, during its twilight phase after the assassination of Park. As such, for example, the symbolism quite striking in the final scene, where the two “fools” are striping off their clothes and dancing wildly in front of the recognizable icon that is the National Assembly building, gesticulating at it wildly. That building was only 8 years old in 1983, and it must have symbolized an empty promise of democracy to South Koreans then entering their third decade of authoritarianism. How did this get past the censors?
Overall, it is a snapshot of the Korean id, circa 1983. Fascinating.
Oh, and guess what? It’s on youtube, with subtitles. You can watch it.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
Pasar el horizonte envejecido Y mirar en el fondo de los sueños La estrella que palpita Eras tan hermosa que no pudiste hablar Yo me alejé pero llevo en la mano Aquel cielo nativo Con un sol gastado Esta tarde en un café he bebido Un licor tembloroso Como un pescado rojo Y otra vez en el vaso escondido Ese sueño filial Eras tan hermosa que no pudiste hablar En tu pecho agonizaba Eran verdes tus ojos pero yo me alejaba Eras tan hermosa que aprendí a cantar
– Vicente Huidobro, Ecuatorial (1918)
It was a lousy day – I had been feeling better, but my body is good at recognizing when I have a day off, and it immediately got sick again. Bleaugh.
What I'm listening to right now.
Joywave, "Somebody New."
Lyrics.
With my eyes on the prize
Not a thing to my name
With my head in the clouds
And my body don't waste
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Don't wanna ever wake up
Next to somebody new
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Don't wanna ever wake up
Next to somebody new
With my eyes to the south
And my brain up in space
Flip my nervous hips around
I'm a step out a sync
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Don't wanna ever wake up
Next to somebody new
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Don't wanna ever wake up
Next to somebody new
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Don't wanna ever wake up
Next to somebody new
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Don't wanna ever wake up
Next to somebody new
Don't wanna ever wake up
Don't wanna ever wake up, I don't
Next to somebody new
[daily log: walking, 1 km]
People are doing interesting things with robotics.
They also made robot ants. Those seem less elegant to me, but probably have greater potential (both useful and nefarious) when mass-produced.
[daily log: walking, 1.5 km]
I have attempted to set up and maintain a "work" blog before – as something separate from this personal blog, that would accessible to coworkers, students and parents as a way to keep records as well as a way to let students know what to do.
Previous attempts failed for multiple reasons. Not least, I wasn't ever very good at sticking to it. Yet I stick to this here personal blog pretty well. One issue is that most Koreans – who would be ALL of my audience at a work blog, basically – aren't that comfortable navigating out into the non-Korean internet. So I decided that this time, I would put the blog inside the Korean web. I am using a free blog platform provided by Naver (pronounced by Koreans to match "neighbor", hence my pun in my title). Naver is a sort of Korean Yahoo-meets-Google, a dominant internet portal with its fingers everywhere.
I worked hard, over the last 2 weeks, to transfer the existing content from the previous two iterations of my "work" blog into this new platform. It's hard to use – not least because everything is in Korean. My blog entries, of course, are in English – so you can look at it if you want. From those previous incarnations, there are actually almost 200 blog posts stretching back, inconsistently, for years. So it might be interesting to look at: a lot of minimally edited video of students practicing speeches and roleplays, etc.
Anyway, here it is: blog.naver.com/jaredway.
I will try very hard to update it every day with a "Class Blog" for each class I teach that day. I keep thinking – if I do it with my personal blog, surely I can do it with a work blog, right?
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
Four times a year, Korean middle-school students undergo the grueling trials and tribulations of exam time, which they call 내신 (nae-sin, which I think might translate more as "transcript building" than "exam" per se). During the month preceding the exams, the hagwon schedule changes and they go into an intensive test-prep period. As a foreign, non-Korean-speaking teacher, I am viewed as useless for this enterprise, which I desultorily concede – it's due to the fact that the quarterly English exam is mostly written in, um… Korean. Which is to say, it's a test of English grammar and vocabulary, in which all the "meta" language (how to answer each question, the grammatical descriptions, etc.) are all in Korean.
Anyway, the consequence of this is that I get an easier teaching schedule for a few weeks, four times a year. After the long, dry, hard-working winter, today my nae-sin semi-, mini- vacation started, and along with it, we had a weird, almost summer-like thunderstorm, which felt quite eerie and alien in early spring, and after a precipitationless 4 months of Siberian winter.
My middle school students pause at this window we have, now, between the staff room and the hallway, in our new building. They gaze at me sulkingly, with the forlorn faces of hunted animals.
Seokho poked his head into the doorway of the staff room.
"Do you miss me already?" I asked, joking.
"A lot," he sighed.
"Four more weeks!" I tried to offer, as upbeat as possible.
I finished posting my term grades and glided home in the rain, feeling as if a burden had lifted.
In fact though, I miss the middle-schoolers, too, when they descend into memorizationland. The whole middle-school teaching thing has grown on me, I guess. The little ones are fun, and I like to play, but the middle-schoolers offer opportunities for communication.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
I spent a short part of April Fools' day at Rube Goldberg's house.
Here is a good system to open your door using your CD player. Bonus: it puts your shoes at the door, ready to put on.
[daily log: walking, 7 km]
Well, the song is "Autumn," which is kind of the wrong theme, for Spring. But I liked this song, and I thought the kids did pretty well. And now it's stuck in my head.
Little Chloe on the left was breakdancing through the whole song, too.
The Sirius Ban, "Autumn."
Lyrics.
The leaves are changing their colors, their colors
And the sky is coming much closer, much closer
It's clear and blue
Wonderful
Autumn is coming to you
(repeat)
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
I ran across this four-character Chinese aphorism online.
一刻 千金
일각천금
il.gak.cheon.geum
moment-wealth
The second of the two terms, which I rendered, after much equivocation, as “wealth,” is literally “thousand pieces of gold.” The idea is that each moment is precious.
You wouldn’t know that from how I waste my time. Er… or is that the point?
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
I didn't wanna fight with my laziness. I just let it walk all over me. Yay.
What I'm listening to right now.
Alabama Shakes, "Don't Wanna Fight."
Lyrics.
My life, your life
Don't cross them lines
What you like, what I like
Why can't we both be right?
Attacking, defending
Until there's nothing left worth winning
Your pride and my pride
Don't waste my time
I don't wanna fight no more [x6]
Take from my hand
Put in your hands
The fruit of all my grief
Lying down ain't easy
When everyone is pleasing
I can't get no relief
Living ain't no fun
The constant dedication
Keeping the water and power on
There ain't nobody left
Why can't I catch my breath?
I'm gonna work myself to death
I don't wanna fight no more [x6]
No, no, no, no!
I don't wanna fight no more [x7]
I don't wanna fight, I don't wanna fight!
I don't wanna fight no more [x8]
[daily log: walking, 
]
I had been kind of making a joke about it in class. I was trying to distinguish the meanings of “sociopath” and “psychopath,” which had arisen some time ago in a reading passage in another class the kids had and so they’d asked me.
So I said, “well, Sangjin here is a sociopath, while Jinu, well, he’s a psychopath.” The kids seemed to find this entertaining to think about, as I explained the way the two boy’s personalities seemed to match these concepts somewhat: Jinu is kind of a “wild boy” and rather impulsive and easily distracted, and Sangjin is more just the quietly watching and muttering type, talking about things to himself, but then doing these very charming speeches and showing surprising charisma.
Later, Sangjin came into the staff room.
“Do you really think I’m a sociopath?”
I couldn’t figure out if he was offended or pleased with the idea, so I equivocated.
He said, “I think maybe I am.”
“Well, you don’t have to be,” I said, not sure what tone of seriousness to assume. He’s a very smart kid, but there is something a little bit dark about his personality, for an 8th grader. He’d be a goth if he was an American teen.
“I want to be a sociopath,” he insisted, like a cross between a movie villain and cheerful puppy.
“Hmm. Well, just try to be nice to people,” I said, feeling out of my depth.
I didn’t really know where to go with it. He’s the sort where maybe he was just testing my reaction. If he was willing to work harder, he could be in our highest group of TOEFL students, but he’s not really interested in academics. He draws pictures of explosions on his note paper. This isn’t really particularly disturbing to me – I remember drawing a lot of explosions at that age.
I told him he was very smart, and should come in my TOEFL class.
“That is too much work,” he sighed. We’d had that snippet of conversation before.
[daily log: walking, 7 km]
Surprising fact-of-the-day: China used more cement in the last three years than the United States used in the entire 20th century.
I learned this from the marginalrevolution blog, and then saw it referenced again later by the Washington Post.
That's a lot of cement.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
It must be spring in Ilsan. The mormons come out in their noachian pairs and buzz at the major pedestrian crossways, like well-dressed flies that can't find the garbage. I saw three sets today: walking along Jungang-no, at Juyeop station, and crossing Ilsan-no close to work. Sometimes I talk to them, even, but mostly now I don't.
I'm tired although I had a fairly light teaching load today. I guess I'm still not fully recovered from the horrible cold thing I had.
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
What I'm listening to right now.
They Might Be Giants, "Underwater Woman."
Lyrics.
underwater woman
underwater lady
no one on the shore will ever know what’s in her heart
fiercely alive, will to survive
able to thrive on her own
self contained, properly trained
hydroponically grown
underwater woman
breathing underwater
brushing her hair, eating a pear
no one can tell when she cries
away away away
she scans the ocean floor
with ultrasonic blips
nothing but rocks and sand
and the broken wrecks of ships
underwater woman
underwater lady
no one on the shore will ever know what’s in her heart
laughing uncontrollably, who is she talking to?
holding up a shell like it’s a telephone
frantically digging through a pile of old papers
intently staring at a photograph
underwater woman
breathing underwater
brushing her hair, eating a pear
no one can tell when she cries
away away away
[daily log: walking, 6km]
Si mi voz muriera en tierra
llevadla al nivel del mar
y dejadla en la ribera.
Llevadla al nivel del mar
y nombradla capitana
de un blanco bajel de guerra.
¡Oh mi voz condecorada
con la insignia marinera:
sobre el corazón un ancla
y sobre el ancla una estrella
y sobre la estrella el viento
y sobre el viento la vela!
– Rafael Alberti (poeta español, 1902-1999)
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
A fine movie:
[daily log: walking, 6 km]
Wow what a horrible flu this is that I have right now.
I woke up at around 4 am because I was coughing. I took some cough suppressant, drank some tea, and after a few hours, I went back to sleep again.
I had very strange dream-snippets.
In one memorable dream fragment, a student was following me around, poking me and invading my space and being generally annoying. I had this weird lucid-dreaming insight: I thought to myself, in the dream, “well, this is a dream, so it doesn’t matter what I do…” I spun around and punched the student. There, that took care of that. Actually, I don’t normally harbor impulses like that, but I think I know what it’s about.
I woke up with a kind of spasmodic turn and the sun was shining into my eyes.
I spent the day watching Korean documentaries and sneezing and dozing. I finished that Tolkien book I’ve been reading, but didn’t have the gumption to start something new.
Unrelated quote of the day:
“If I owned a dam and decided to donate it to charity, would I be giving a dam? I’m sure that might be a first because no one really gives a dam.” – the internet
What I’m listening to right now.
Junip, “Always.”
Lyrics.
Droning chords and distant bells
Humming over empty shells
Holding on tight onto a dead sky
Nomadic moves across a lawn
Inch by inch into the dawn
Holding on tight onto a dead sky
Turn a deaf ear no matter what they might say
Always
Turn a deaf ear pushing you further away
Always
Droning chords and distant bells
To what’s been over since the fall
Holding tight to what’s been felt
Holding on tight onto a dead sky
Turn a deaf ear no matter what they might say
Always
Turn a deaf ear pushing you further away
Always
[daily log: coughing, 6k]
Walking to work, the haze was terrible. Here is a view up 강선로 (gangseon-ro) heading toward Hugok neighborhood, where my work is.
This is why I hate Spring in Korea. The smog is partly natural (the Gobi Desert dust – 황사), but I suspect also partly due to the fact that we are 300 km east of Beijing, and Spring breezes prevail from the west (while in other seasons they tend to come from other directions).
Anyway, I'm sick and grumpy.
I want to sleep.
[daily log: walking, 6km]
"The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities."-Sophocles
Maybe.
[daily log: walking, 6km]
