Category: The Wonders of Work

Caveat: Beat the keyboard

Kids / Quotable / The Wonders of Work / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

"The piano is easy to play.  Beat the keyboard."  – Shaina, 5th grade.  And here, all this time, I thought it was difficult.  That it required some kind of finesse.  Maybe I should give it a try. 

I found a phrase that just drove me nuts: 
우리학원을 오시려면 이렇게 오세요

The breakdown, as far as I can figure out:
우리학원을  =our school+[OBJ]
오시려면 = come+[HONORIFIC]+["INTENTIVE-SUPPOSITIONAL"(whatver that is)]+[CONDITIONAL-CLAUSE-SUBORDINATOR]
이렇게 = being thus+[-LY] ("thusly")
오세요 = come+[HONORIFIC CONJUGATED]+[POLITE/FINITE]

So, from all that:
if your honorable self might come to our school, come like this [i.e. here are some directions for getting here? or, i.e. come "as you are"?]

Meanwhile, babelfish alleged:
"Our school five cotton come coldly like this"

Hahaha.  Never trust babelfish.  That looks like it should be on a tshirt, though.

Other Korean Vocab:
회원 = member

셀프입니다 = self serve (this is konglish sel-peu =self with a deferential be-verb ending)
지역=region

금상=gold (first) prize

은상=silver (second) prize
장려=encouragement
장려상="honorable mention" prize
상담실=conference room 
여름휴가=summer holiday
 

Caveat: Ambiguous

My Photos / The Wonders of Work

Most of the time, Korean t-shirts are funny because they don’t make sense. But Steven’s shirt was funny because it was exactly right:  it suited his personality perfectly.
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Caveat: Unclear on the concept

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

I spent 20 minutes last night explaining the debate topic to my Eldorado 1 class.  I knew the topic was a bit over their heads, but I had no idea by just how much.

The topic is whether or not South Korea should join the US in a "proliferation security initiative" – basically, should South Korea join other nations in working hard to prevent the nuclear proliferation problem.  But it's a sensitive issue, here, since North Korea is the number one offender on the nuclear proliferation front, at the moment.  And the South has ambivalences about its other neighbors, too:  China is increasingly public about its military (including nuclear) capacity, and Japan is NEVER to be trusted in its non-proliferation commitments (for obvious historical reasons, from the Korean perspective). 

The consequence is that while many South Koreans clearly want to side with the US in the non-proliferation movement, there are just as many that would like to simply ignore the situation, either because they don't want to offend the North for fear of antagonizing it (typically, those on the left), or because they would like to see the South developing (perhaps secretly) their own nuclear deterrent (typically, those on the right). 

Anyway, I spent lots of time drawing maps and diagrams on the board, and explaining in as simple vocabulary as I could muster, the situation regarding nuclear proliferation.  And then, as the bell rang, my student Ann timidly raised her hand, and said, "Teacher… which Korea?"  I said that I didn't understand.  She elaborated, "Here, Ilsan.  Which Korea – North, South?" 

"This is South Korea," I said, bemused.  Her face brightened.  "Oh, thank you.  Good night."  Oops!  Sometimes you need to make sure basic concepts are clear.

In other news… my web-access problems at home are getting progressively more annoying.  I couldn't get into facebook, last night.  And unlike with my blog host, I was unable to "sneak" in using a proxy.  I may be better off trying to freeload wifi off my neighbors, and not pay the $25 a month to SK Broadband.  I certainly would never dream of trying to interact with customer service in Korean.  I remember vividly my shock and dismay when I realized that the person at the customer service call center at my DSL provider in the US didn't know what a Domain Name Server was.  Nothing is more depressing than trying to explain technical stuff to the technical helpdesk people.  And to try to do so across a severe language barrier might just cause my brain to self-destruct.

Caveat: The Positive (The Urinal)

Life in Korea / The Wonders of Work

Basil and I were joking around earlier. I still meet with him sometimes for coffee or whatever, even though we’re no longer colleagues. We were “focusing on the positive” about being in Korea, and about working at LBridge (my current and his former employer). The joke was: well, one thing that’s nice about LBridge is the urinal in the men’s bathroom.  It has a window, and you look out on the alleyway behind the school and the apartments across the way. There are lots of flowers and trees, the air is fresh, you can watch people walking by on the street below. I’ve watched a cat that lives among the bushes occasionally venturing out, when no one was about. So, one thing I like about LBridge is the urinal.
I decided that that made for a rather forlorn list, all by itself. I have probably spent too much time over the last 9 months thinking of things I didn’t like about this place, so here is a list of things I like about LBridge, that tries to add at least a few things.
the urinal
the fact that each teacher has a computer (my last two hagwon didn’t)
some of my coworkers (Peter, Christine, Joe, Jenica… sometimes Sean is nice, sometimes Sarah)
the color printers
the consistency in designed syllabi
… most of all: the students! the students are awesome.
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Caveat: Stealth Server

Banalities & Journaling / Databases, Smartphones & Computers / Found Online / Life is a Dream / The Wonders of Work

When I worked at Paradise Corporation (a pseudonym), in the National Accounts Department (within the broader realm of Sales & Marketing) with my boss’s permission, I constructed a database server which I used to download and manipulate a complete “copy” of the official corporate data warehouse. The server was not a powerful machine, and a full ETL (extract, transform, load) of the previous week’s data took all weekend (more than 24 hours). But I kept adding more hard-drives, because the size of the dataset was so large. Ultimately, the server had 9 200GB hard drives, meaning it was approaching 2 terabytes. There were only 6 slots for hard drives, however, so I attached the additional drives using duct tape to the inside of the case. I was very proud of the jury-rigged contraption.
The server became known as the “stealth server,” and employees from the IT department would sometimes come by my cubicle simply to admire (and express alarm) at my handiwork. I deployed a business-intelligence website called, alternately, the report-o-matic or NADA (a cynical backronym of my own creation, meaning National Accounts Data Analysis), which ran on one of my two desktops and linked to the stealth server for its source data. Linking directly to the data warehouse was not an option, because the dimensional data there was of the wrong “granularity,” which is why I’d built the copy in the first place. I was “flattening” the dimensions substantially, and then re-normalizing to the “correct” granularity to be able to support invoice reporting for certain finicky National Accounts customers.
GoogleServerMedium I was reminded of my beloved stealth server recently by an April Fool’s blog posting at CNET news. The picture (click thru for the CNET article) is not unlike my stealth server, and I felt both alarmed and proud of the fact that my stealth server’s secret twin was working hard for google. But of course, no real corporation would rely on such jury-rigged hardware for mission-critical data support functions. Right?
To Paradise’s credit, the report-o-matic is now hosted on proper hardware, and most of the “back-end” has been rewritten by “guys in India.” But last I heard, the website was still presenting data for the National Accounts team, much as I’d designed it.
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Caveat: Customs Detail; Emeralds; Raindrops

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / Life is a Dream / The Wonders of Work

The dry season (aka winter) is ending.

Northwest South Korea is actually the wettest place place I've ever lived, except for those months in Valdivia, Chile.  My hometown of Arcata, on the southern edge of the allegedly rainy Pacific Northwest, actually doesn't get as much precipitation as Seoul, but its rainy reputation is reinforced by the vast number of overcast days each year.  I blame my Arcata upbringing for my somewhat problematic relationship with sunny days. 

Anyway, despite the "on average" wet climate, here, it's all concentrated into the summer monsoon.  So winter is dry.  Drier than a midwestern winter, although bitterly cold just like Minnesota.  But with spring, and warming temperatures, the moisture begins to come.  Rainy days.  And of course, since it's spring, everything turns stunningly green.

Some of my most vivid memories of "greenness" are from the spring of 1991, when I was assigned to a special "customs detail" outside of my assigned US Army support battalion, here in Korea.  I was a "liaison" attached to a group of Korean truck-drivers / movers, basically.  The movers were employed by the US Army to come in and move US soldiers from base to base, or to pack them up for their return to the US, etc.

Because there was a Korean government customs official involved, the US Army liked to send along a "throwaway" liaison to kind keep an eye on things, I guess.  That was me — because my sergeant didn't like me, he gave me what everyone supposed was an onerous extra assignment.  But I loved it.  I spent a good portion of that spring riding around in a Hyundai 2-ton truck with a team of about 4 Korean blue-collar types who had very poor English, as we went from base to base, and from off-base apartment to off-base apartment, packing up and loading up US soldiers' worldly goods and transporting them around.

I remember riding in the back of the truck, watching the rain beyond the canopy, as the green countryside whirled past.  Stopping in some hole-in-the-wall restaurant and having chili-ramen with cheese-whiz (some kind of weird lower-class Korean delicacy).  Picking up a few bits of Korean.  Standing aside in the barracks at Camp Boniface (the forwardmost post of the US Army in Korea, facing the North Korean border), looking uselessly officious, while the Korean customs official went down his checklist of "forbidden items," and the impatient infantryman-du-jour looked on.  And then returning to my unit that evening, only to be told I was still responsible for that broken humvee or deuce-and-a-half truck, and working late into the night in the motorpool shop.

But it was during this "customs detail" in 1991 that I first fell in love with the emerald, rainy Korean countryside of spring and early summer.  I flash back on these memories, stepping outside today to walk to work: the sting of a raindrop on my cheek, the flash of suddenly green treebranches lifted by wind.

Caveat: 이해해 수 없는 한국말은 많아요

The Wonders of Work / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

Lately it seems like I keep stumbling on Korean that my dictionaries can’t help me to understand.
Consider the notice found in the lower right on the webpage at the grade-entering application at work.
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I know from context that 등록된 원생이 없습니다 should translate roughly as “there is no one enrolled in this class,” but all the dictionary searches say that 원생 means “abiogenesis” (which is to say, the spontaneous genesis of life from non-life).  Which would give a translation more in line of:  “there is no enrolled abiogenesis.”  Hmmm…  So, I deduce that 원생 means “student” or “child,” which some understanding of how chinese-rooted words work makes at least a little bit of sense (I know 생 has to do with kids), as it would give: “there is no enrolled child.”  But it’s frustrating the dictionary won’t cooperate.  And babelfish, in this instance, concurs:  “There is not an abiogenesis which is registered,” it says.  Hahahum.
And I saw a sign in a cafe earlier, it said, in part, “다 드신 후!”  After that, it said, roughly, “please return your trays to the first floor.”  That second part, I translated and understood, almost effortlessly.  But that initial alert was completely impenetrable to me.  I can’t make any meaning of it whatsoever.  The dictionary is not useful.  Babelfish provides:  “after holding all…” which makes a little bit of sense, but I can’t really contextualize that either.
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Caveat: Tyler Brown IN MEMORIAM

Banalities & Journaling / Databases, Smartphones & Computers / Life is a Dream / The Wonders of Work

I recently learned, much to my shock, that a former close colleague of mine passed away last year.  Tyler and I worked together at HealthSmart in 2005-2006, in Long Beach and mostly at the Pharmacies division in Newport Beach.

I've mentioned Tyler twice in this blog (which is pretty notable, considering how little I was blogging during the time he and I were close colleagues).  First, in April of 2006, I didn't give his name, but only wrote of him obliquely:

… the future is scary.

So I guess this is one of those flexion-points, where I might decide to step away from my current future, and toward another.  But a friend (a colleague) made an observation to me the evening before the interview – really, also, an observation OF me.  He pointed out (and somehow had figured this out despite missing major portions of my biography) that I was a serial quitter. 

And maybe I should get over that?

The hardest future to adopt, in other words, is the one currently coming at you.  Alternate futures are easier, perhaps.  Am I destined to always be a refugee in my own alternate futures, in exile from my own alternate pasts?

Hidden behind this mention, but evident in it, is the fact that, during that short time (about 6 months?  Maybe almost a year), Tyler was essentially my best friend.  We worked together on an almost daily basis.  We had connected at a visceral level, with our curmudgeonly personalities.  And he was more than a little bit of a mentor to me, in things technical, while I know he was fascinated with my never-ending tales in the vein of "…at that time, I was working as a … "  Which is to say, my dilettantism.  Really, he influenced me a great deal.

The other mention was in August of 2007, right before I left for Korea.  I was "catching up" with the abandoned coworkers of past jobs, and we had lunch at the Inka Grill in Costa Mesa, a place which I shall always associate with "lunch with Tyler."  Especially now.

I made several efforts to get back in touch with him since coming to Korea.  Not really concerted efforts, though.  And now, I've learned, he died at some point last year, so perhaps my efforts were already "too late."  I knew he'd had some health issues, and he was definitely quite a bit older than I am… he was a Vietnam vet, after all.  Still…

I will remember him as a good teacher, at least, of technical things.  A man of extraordinary insight into human character, if somewhat impatient and cynical, himself.  Generous to a fault with those whom he respected, and downright ornery with those whom he didn't.  Not a talented manager, but highly organized and capable of lots of innovative thoughts.  From personal experience, an indispensable person to have on your side during a difficult business meeting, and a great person to have on your team when trying to meet an impossible deadline.   Thanks, Tyler.  I miss you.

Caveat: ㅂ2

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

My students know that it’s fairly to easy to get me to wander off topic. And sometimes, if they find the class content dull they have learned that with a well-placed series of comments and questions, they can get me to go on endlessly on something unrelated to the syllabus. Thus in my Eldorado 3 class yesterday, they managed to get me to talk for almost the entire hour about cold-war geopolitics, and North Korea vs South Korea as proxies for great powers, despite the fact that the official topic of the day was advertising.
Today, in my Eldorado 2 class we covered a lot of territory not really pertinent to our upcoming debate, which is a bit dry, having to do with “Green Industry” policy initiatives of the current South Korean government. I actually love teaching topics like that, but we nevertheless managed to wander off onto something else entirely.
One thing that happens, of course, is that sometimes they teach me things, instead. Today I learned that Korean language text-messaging slang “ㅂ2”  means “bye.” It’s the Korean phonemic jamo ㅂ (which represents a “b” sound IPA [b]) followed by 2 (which is pronounced “ee” IPA [i], the sino-korean “two”).  Sound it out:  buh-ee… it’s actually the English word “bye.” Simple, right?
And then conscientious Anastasia raises her hand and says, in a remonstrating tone, “Teacher. I really think we should be discussing the debate topic. Don’t you?” And with that, the bell rang.

Caveat: Which do you prefer?

Banalities & Journaling / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

I have a small class where I teach students skills for the speaking component of the iBT (internet-based Test of English as Foreign Language, by New Jersey's ETS, the creators of SAT, GRE, and all kinds of other fun tests).  These are 5th and 6th graders, and the weirdness of teaching them to take the TOEFL is immeasurable.

Consider a recent, compelling editorial by E.D. Hirsch, Jr., in the New York Times.  He concludes, "we need to move from teaching to the test to tests that are worth teaching to." I agree with this, and know that it applies not just to the "crisis" in American education but equally to the shortcomings of e.g. Korean English-language education.  Which is to say, quite simply, why are these kids taking this test?

The TOEFL is intended to be a college-enterance exam for non-native speakers of English, to establish ability level appropriate for American University work.  But Koreans love tests, and they love pushing their children hard.  So they figure, the earlier the better, right?

These kids, in terms of basic English ability, are perfectly capable of getting mediocre to good scores on something like the TOEFL.  But the problem is with topic.  Because the test is intended for university-age students, sometimes the kids have no experiential basis for trying to answer the questions put to them. What does it mean to ask a 5th grader if she wants to get married right after college or have a career first? What does it mean to ask a 6th grader if they like having a roommate in the dorms?  How can they say whether they're more interested in going to a small or large university? 

We've been working on "type 2" questions, lately.  Sometimes, they're called "Choice" questions or "preference" questions.  Below is a sampling, which I've compiled and edited from various random sources, or thought up myself based on what I've seen of typical "type 2" content. Imagine trying to coach 5th and 6th graders into making concise little 45-second speeches on these topics.  Whether they're perfect native speakers or Koreans doesn't matter – the problem is that so often, the content just doesn't "work" for that age level.

1. Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in?

2. Would you prefer to do an important college assignment as part of a team with other students, or individually on your own?

3. Some students get their best study done at night. Others prefer to study during the day. Which time do you prefer for getting study done?

4. Would you prefer to run your own private business or work for a large company with many employees?

5. Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?

6. Would you prefer to go on a trip overseas to a new country with a companion you know, or just by yourself?

7. Some students go directly to the teacher with questions about their course work. Others prefer to ask their classmates first. Which do you prefer?

8. During your spare time, would you prefer to watch a movie or read a book?

9. Some students try to combine part-time work and study, while others prefer to study only and work later once their courses are finished. Which do you prefer?

10. Would you prefer to go on a long trip by car or by train?

11. Some people like to stick to tasks they know they can do well. Others like to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer?

12. Which kind of job would you prefer: a job that is uninteresting but has a high salary, or a job you really enjoy with a moderate salary?

13. Some people like to hurry and get things done as quickly as possible. Others prefer to take their time and get things done at a slower pace. Which do you prefer?

14. Do you prefer friends who are intelligent, or friends who are reliable?

15. Some students try to do moderate amounts of homework on a daily basis. Others prefer to get their homework done in one go over 1-2 days. Which do you prefer?

16. If you went to study in a different country with a different culture, would you prefer to adapt yourself to the new culture, or concentrate more on maintaining your own culture?

17. Some people like to keep up with current news by reading newspapers. Others prefer to read about the news online. Which do you prefer?

18. Would you prefer to do a course that involves lectures and tutorials onsite, or a course that is conducted online via distance learning?

19. When shopping, some people use brand names to help them decide what to buy. Other people go only by price. Which do you prefer?

20. Many universities offer intensive courses during the summer and winter periods. Would you prefer to take an intensive course durung the summer or the winter vacation period?

21. Some people like living in the center of cities close to downtown areas. Others prefer to live further out in the suburbs. Which do you prefer?

22. Some people give money as gifts to friends. Others try to give a specific kind of present. Which kind of gift do you prefer giving to a friend?

23. To find out about a course subject, would you prefer to go and ask a teacher about it, or talk to a student who has already taken the subject?

24. Some students like to use the library to do most of their research. Others prefer to do most of their research using the Internet. Which do you prefer?

25. Some people like to spend their leisure time outdoors, while others prefer to spend it indoors. Which do you prefer?

26. Would you prefer to spend your vacation period at home with family, or go on a trip somewhere with close friends?

27. Some students prefer lectures where the teacher does all of the talking. Other students prefer classes where students are more interactive and contribute to the lesson. Which do you prefer?

28. Some students like to buy all their own books and keep them after their courses are finished. Others prefer to borrow course books and return them once the course is finished. Which do you prefer?

29. Some people like to get married and start a family while they are still young (under 30 years of age). Others prefer to wait until they are older to start their own family. Which do/would you prefer?

30. Some students like to listen to music while they are studying. Others prefer a very quiet atmosphere for their study. Which do you prefer?

31. Would you like to spend most of your life living and working only in your own country, or would you prefer to spend some time living and working in a new country?

32. Some people enjoy hobbies or sports that are personal and individual. Others like hobbies or sports that involve groups of people. Which do you prefer?

33. Some people want to have specific instructions or directions when they try something new. Other people like to experiment and work things out for themselves. Which do you prefer?

34. Would you prefer to live in an apartment building, or a private house?

35. Some students like to make a specific study schedule for themselves, while others prefer to do their study only when they feel like doing it. Which do you prefer?

36. During discussions, some people like to lead the conversation and do a lot of the talking. Other people prefer to listen more and talk only when they have to. Which do you prefer?

37. For a group assignment, would you prefer to work with a new group of people whom you don't know all that well, or work with your close friends?

38. Some people like to keep a private diary which they don't show to other people. Other people like to start things like online blogs, where other people can read the posts and make comments about them. Which would you prefer to start – a private diary or an online blog?

39. Some students choose courses in order to get good jobs in the future. Other students choose courses that are very interesting to them, even if they don't always lead to good jobs. Which do you prefer?

40. Some universities are small and have only a couple of thousand students on campus. Other universities are very large and have many thousands of students enrolled. Which kind of university do you prefer?

Caveat: Good to feel welcome

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

I found this on the board coming into the Thursday iBT class yesterday.
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That’s Ellie in the picture. She’s the closest thing to a native English speaking student that we have at LBridge. She lived in Germany for many years, and attended an International school, there. So, she’s a Korean girl who speaks English with a German accent, although a coworker who knows quite a bit of German reported to me that Ellie’s German is much worse than her English. I guess just being there rubbed off on her pronunciation.
A while back, the following dialogue took place, in a different class:
Jenny: Monday is my birthday!
Jared: How old will you be?
Jenny: I don’t know exactly. Maybe I’m 13?
A note about Korean ages: you should subtract at least one year from Korean ages, because when babies are born, they are one year old. Also, typically, despite the fact that they DO celebrate birthdays, they will state their ages as if they changed on January first. The net result is that there is a 1 to 2 year difference between a Korean’s stated age and an American’s stated age. Perhaps Jenny is confused about her age because she is aware of this. But I doubt it. It’s just kind of her personality.
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Caveat: Cut’n’n’pastin, old-school

Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work

My coworker Jenica prints out spreadsheets, and then uses scissors and scotch tape to make them look the way she wants them to.
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That’s taking the potentialities of “cutting and pasting” to a whole new level! It’s like… wow.
Wouldn’t it be cool if we could do the “Ctrl-C… Ctrl-V” thing in real life?
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Caveat: cute★☆

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

My student Christina is a big fan of my “alligators” – my collection of toy alligators that sometimes accompany me to class to give us something to talk about, etc. During the break between classes the other day, she was taking portraits of all of the toys with her cellphone camera. And she text-messaged one of the pictures to me, today. The accompanying description line on the cellphone message was “cute★☆” Here it is.
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Caveat: My Life as Colonel Sanders

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / The Wonders of Work

I was going to write about this yesterday, while on the topic of my new haraboji look, but I didn't finish.

My feelings were hurt, recently, by a colleague.  Indirectly… her comment was actually reported to me by some students.  And it doesn't really matter:  the actual comment was quite some time ago, I imagine, and the teacher making the comments has now completed her contract at LBridge and departed.

The background:  KFC is a popular fast food chain in South Korea, and, just as in the States, the Colonel is the ubiquitous advertising mascot.  But because of the fact of his being elderly and iconically European-American, he ends up being a kind of caricature stand-in for all older Westerners.  Just as it seems vaguely racist and definitely culturally narrow to say of Asians "they all look the same," it's not unheard of in Korean society to just say that all older Western males are "that KFC guy."  And that, apparently, is what this other teacher said of me, to her students.  Repeatedly.

I didn't have much interaction with the colleague in question.  She didn't seem exceptionally interested in interacting with any of her coworkers, as a matter of fact.  But I will note that I always noticed she had a great rapport with her students, and they really seemed to like her, so I felt a strong level of respect for her, from a distance.

One thing I've learned, over these last few years teaching, is that you have to be very careful about the sorts of things you say about fellow teachers and other adults to the children – they will tend to magnify what they have heard, and most certainly they will internalize it if they find it entertaining or interesting or funny.  Having a colleague make that remark to her students about one of the token foreigners at LBridge is kind of a case study into how these unpleasant cultural stereotypes are perpetuated and reinforced.

Anyway… my personal observation is, I don't really like being called "that KFC guy" to my students behind my back, and it hurt my feelings.  But there's not a lot I can do about it, except try to prove by example that such cultural stereotypes are inappropriate and inaccurate.  So… 아자아자화이팅!

Caveat: Think stupid. Get it stuck!

Banalities & Journaling / Life is a Dream / The Wonders of Work

Today is blazingly bright, clear, sunny, windy, cold. It is just above freezing, probably, and the air is unusually damp, not like the normal cold, dry wind that comes with such clear days.  It was raining yesterday, and today, puddles sparkle and you hear birds singing, and you can smell the pines.
For some reason the smell of the pines brings back strong, vivid memories of December, 1990.
I had completed MOS (occupational, or “advanced”) training to be an Army mechanic, at Fort Jackson, South Carolina.  But the top 15 graduates of the MOS class were retained for an additional month of “recovery specialist” field training, and I was one of them.  As the first gulf war was winding up with terrifying speed in Kuwait, our little platoon lived in two tents in the South Carolina woods for that month of December.
HEMTT_Wrecker_and_Cargo It was cold and damp but often sunny in the afternoons, and we alternated between simulated infantry/combat type situations and vehicle recovery operations (basically, “how to drive and operate a giant green tow truck”).  I was really bad at the infantry work… whenever I was in charge of my squad, I tended to make grave tactical errors and/or proved too cautious.  But I was very good at vehicle recovery.
One day, our training sergeant had us lined up one bright morning, when the weather was exactly like it was this morning walking to work.  As a reward for something I’d accomplished, he said, “Way [remember, in the Army, you have no first name], I want you to take that vehicle out into the swamp and get it stuck.”  He gestured at one of the two HEMTT’s our training unit had.  This was a rare privilege.
I climbed into the cab, the sergeant got in as shotgun.  I fired it up, and we drove it out into the swamp.  These are not easy vehicles to “get stuck.”  They are 8-wheel-drive, with the first two pairs of wheels linked to the hydraulic steering system.  The tires are at least 4 feet in diameter.  We scooted it back and forth in the muck, and the sergeant yelled at me if I got too timid.  “Don’t be too smart, Way.  Think stupid.  Get it stuck!”
Finally, the front end resting in the water to a depth that covered the top of the front tires and was seeping into the cab, we had it completely immobilized, all eight wheels spinning and throwing up massive quantities of mud.  “Damn good,” muttered the sergeant.
And we spent the rest of the day with winches and two tow trucks, getting the thing out. Those were my best days in the Army.
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Caveat: some reason

Banalities & Journaling / Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

As I noted here, before, I had a very bad day last Friday.  I had a bad day for two main reasons. 

The first reason was more typical emptyheadedness from the management here.  But that sort of unpleasantness is a) par for the course, and b) easily forgotten — it's not hard to move on from that, whether because of habit or because it just isn't that big a deal.

The second reason had more sticking power, because it came from a student.  Mostly, I think I have a pretty good rapport with my students, but sometimes I make mistakes, either in how I interact with them (too lenient, too firm), or in how I attempt to engage their attention.  The problem last Friday falls under the former.  I was obviously too hard on a student, and it had an impact on her.  Unlike most students, though, E__ is good about expressing her feelings.  She gave me the following note, which I transcribe verbatim, errors and all.  I feel really badly about it all.  She was (is) one of my favorite students, but now she's dropped out of L-Bridge.  Was it because me?  At least partly…  here's the note.

To Jared
Hello?  I'm E___.  I wrote this letter because of some reason.
First, I can't see you on next semester.  Then, you will not have like me, the rude student.  I like this L-Bridge, but I've been in this for 3 years.  So, I think I'll come in any, but next semester, I'll not come.  Second, I've many mistake then every teacher said it is ok.  But, in last last debate, I got mistake but you didn't say anything except you did a bad job.  I suggest, I don't want that and every students will have stress, like me.  So, please do not do that!  It hurts me.  Don't show this letter to other teacher.  Thanks alot in this semester.  Bye!  – From E___.

Caveat: The Good. The Bad.

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / My Photos / The Wonders of Work

I had a really bad day.  A really, really bad day.  But it had some good moments.  Here are some pictures.  Highlights.
Below, little Dahye, and half of Paul.
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Below, some of my Goldrush kids:  Stephanie, Jamie, Christine, Daisy, Sarah, Gina (in front of me), Nick (the poor lone boy in a class full of girls).
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Caveat: Jin’s Dragon

Kids / The Wonders of Work

Last day of the Winter term, today. That means…  break?  Oh, no such thing. Monday, it all starts over. More crazinesses.
This is Jin’s Dragon.
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Caveat: Thank you, I don’t want to do that

Kids / My Photos / The Wonders of Work

I told my student David today that he explained some vocabulary words so well, in English, today, that he should be an English teacher. He smiled politely, and said, in almost perfect pronunciation and intonation:  “Thank you, I don’t want to do that.” I was pleased.
It’s the last week of the Winter term. As has become my habit, I tried to take pictures of my some of my classes, to remember my students by. I don’t try to force them… some classes are more enthusiastic than others, and I feel uncomfortable insisting. But here’s a few who cooperated, to one degree or another.
The Goldrush2b kids: Thomas, Dexter, Kevin, Alex L, Peter P,  Peter H (in front), Tommy (way in back), Silver, Jenny, Stephany, Lisa, Sophia.
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Sydney, waxing eloquent, and Eunice, saying something funny (undoubtedly).
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Eldorado1a kids: Sincere, Ellen, Julia (in back), Joseph, Mad Steven, Small Steve (NBA Steve).
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Caveat: “Off topic you are!”

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / Language & Linguistics / Life in Korea / The Wonders of Work

My student Eric was giving a speech.  Harry, another student, leapt to his feet and, pounding his fist confidently on the table, proclaimed, "Off topic you are!"  It was pure Yoda-speak.  And I began laughing uncontrollably, which left Harry a bit uncomfortable.  So I had to explain that Yoda, in the Star Wars movie, is a very funny-speaking character, but that, if you study his language carefully, you realize he's basically speaking English words with Korean grammar.  Which means that Korean students can "do" Yoda, sometimes, without meaning to.  I'm not sure my kids fully understood or accepted my explanation completely.  But they realized they could make me laugh by ending sentences loudly and confidently with verbs. 

"Homework what is?" they demanded, at the end.  Good students.  Funny students. 

Caveat: Time Flows

Kids / The Wonders of Work

Dahye writes in her journal, and describes playing with her friend.  Then she concludes, "It was so fun that I didn't know time was flowing!"  I thought this was a good line.

Caveat: Collateralized

Teaching & Methodology / The Wonders of Work

pictureI have been collateralized – in the buzzword sense used in marketing departments these days:  I’m being used to advertize a product.
See the recent picture from the L-Bridge website at right, with the winners of the speech contest of a few weeks ago, with me and a few other spokesforeigners standing in the background, looking respectably foreign. [Clicking the photo will pop up a bigger version.]
Genius Willy is right in front of me, wearing a silly grin (I’m in the middle between Joe and Jeff, in the back).  Other students I’m proud of:  Sydney (far left of photo); Johnny (third from left, front row); Sarah and Rebecca (back row of students, 3rd and forth from right) – the face between Sarah and Rebecca is Sarah-teacher (the somewhat hard-to-get-along-with curriculum manager at L-Bridge.  In the small square photos, top row, 2nd from left is Eunice (better known as CGHP! “crazy girl hot pink!” — don’t ask what it means, I don’t have a clue, myself) and top row, 4th from left is Lisa.
Actually, I’m most proud of Sydney, because she placed into the final 20 despite the fact that she pridefully rejected any kind of coaching of any kind from any of her teachers.  All the other finalists received extensive coaching and help of various sorts (grammar, pronunciation, etc.) from their teachers.
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Caveat: Wow, Fantastic!

Kids / The Wonders of Work

My student Jenny has adopted the custom of saying "Wow, Fantastic!" as a sort of catch-all response.  It can mean anything from, "I don't understand anything you said" to "I don't care" to "I'm very happy!"  All of those.  So, today, during class, as a kind of joke, I gave a 45 second speech that consisted of nothing but the words "Wow, Fantastic!"  You know, with different intonations, gestures, rising tone, falling tone, questioning, stating, exclaiming, muttering.  This was a big hit, and the students in the next class heard about it, and demanded I do the same for them.  It became the thrill-du-jour.  But now, of course, I have the phrase stuck for ever and ever in my brain, both Jenny's mindless version and my own highly variable one.

Wow.  Fantastic.

In other news, Ellie writes, "All over the world, terrorizers are terrorizing people."  This is SOOOO true, don't you think?

Caveat: elected for president!!!

Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work

Today I was a celebrity. Each time I stepped out of a classroom or climbed the stairs, I faced a battery of cellphone cameras wielded by students who had recently discovered they can make high-speed, shutter-repeating “picture movies” with their cellphones. I began to do crazy things, as the idea of taking little stop-frame movies of me and each other spread like a meme in a grade school. Uh… yeah, that.
One student “messaged” me a few frames, and explained, finally: “Jared is elected for president!!!”
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Caveat: 술 안마셔요

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / The Wonders of Work

Today we had the semi-annual speech contest. I was there as a “judge,” and a coach for some of my students, and also “emcee” for the second round. Jeez… talk about conflicts of interest.
I managed to compartmentalize, and hopefully I was as objective as possible in my judging. I was feeling shafted when one of my hero students, Jessica, didn’t make it to the second round, as I thought she’d done amazingly well, but then I learned that she had in fact placed second out of everyone in the first round, but that her mother had withdrawn her. Hmm… the motives of parents are indeed obscure, at times. Sarah-teacher reported to me that Jessica was in tears over having to leave without a prize despite her excellent performance. I felt bad for her, but better that at least in this instance, it wasn’t hellbridge who was being a collective jerk.
I was proud of Willy (who I quoted just yesterday). And little Dahye didn’t do badly, though didn’t advance to the second round. There was a bittersweet moment, because I’ve been trying really hard to help Dahye feel sufficiently confident to stand up in front of adults and peers and give a speech: she’s a tiny 8 year old with near-perfect English, but is terribly shy. But I heard she did pretty well… I wasn’t there because I was judging a different group.  After the first round, waiting for the announcement of the 20 students who would advance to the second round, she ran up to me and declared, “it’s like a prison in there!”  She was referring to the “waiting room” that her group of kids was in.  And she grabbed my hand and held on.  And at that moment, two 6th graders, Sydney and Eunice came up, and said, “Oh, teacher… is that your daughter?”  I think they were joking, but it was very sweet:  Dahye just grinned up at me with big eyes.
After the contest was finally over, the prizes given out, the parents herded out, teachers and staff and “guests” (corporate types from hellbridge corporation) went out for a late lunch.  And as is my custom, when the soju (Korean rice vodka) started flowing, I demurred, “술 안마셔요” (sul an-masheoyo = I don’t drink alcohol).   They were so impressed with this bit of Korean, but they were of course dumbfounded at my rejection of alcohol — foreigners in Korea have a reputation for being heavy drinkers.  It isn’t really true that I don’t drink… but Koreans are so hardcore about drinking that I find it easier to simply pretend I don’t do alcohol when socializing with them, as I’ve never been one to hold my liquor well.

Caveat: “Dear Blockhead Ants, … “

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

My student Jin wrote a story about a grasshopper and some ants.  It's based on an old folktale that we'd read the text of.  But in his version of the story, the grasshopper does well for himself, and he writes back to the ants, "Dear blockhead ants, I am in Hawaii now and very happy."  Or something like that.  It was cute.

My student Emily S. created an "alien from Saturn" character for a little almost socratic-style dialogue, and the alien's name was Nanarishtititana.   Which is a perfect name for a Saturn alien.

Today in E1aT1 class, we were discussing animal rights.  Toward the end of the class, Jenny N, who often makes no sense at all, said, in a distressed but clear tone:  "But… teacher! We don't need to learn this, because we are not animals."  I laughed so hard at this — I'm sure she understood she was making a joke.  We had a lot of fun.

Willy is a fourth grader, and a near genius.  He may have had some help in composing the following, but I've spent enough time with him to know he's capable of it, himself.  It's not just that his English is amazingly good, but that the degree of complexity of his reasoning and his "knowledge about the world" is close to what we would call college-level in the States.   Here's Willy, in his own words, on neocolonialism:
As I mentioned, we think about America when we say brands like 'Starbucks', 'Boeing', and 'McDonalds'. All these are famous. And how does it make us to speak English? The answer is: naturally. Actually, it is because we are colonized in culture. We can't feel that we are colonized but we are colonized in American culture slowly and we start to learn and use English slowly.

The attitude barometer, episode 2:

  • Number of times I've opened my resignation letter and edited it:  0
  • Barrier-surpassing moments of Korean-language usage (outside of work only):  1
  • Spirit-destroying moments of Korean-language communication breakdown (outside of work only):  1
  • Number of students that have said something to the effect of "teacher, you're so funny" while fighting off an apoplectic fit of giggles:  1
  • Number of times I've told someone that I am "much happier than when I was in L.A.":  2
  • Number of times I really meant it (as opposed to the "fake it till I make it" approach I'm fond of): 1
  • Days I was late to work this week:  0
  • Total number of minutes I was late, minus total number of minutes I showed up early:  -75 (meaning I came to work early and wasn't much late)

Caveat: Jared’s Friday Attitude Barometer

Banalities & Journaling / Internet & Blogging / The Wonders of Work

I haven’t done very well with coming up with what might be called “regular features” in my blog. I did really well over the summer with my “Notes for Korean,” but with the press of that nightmarish fall term, I abandoned it. It’s not even that I stopped posting notes… I simply stopped studying Korean altogether. I’ve been having a hard time getting back into a routine, now.
When I’m traveling, I like to say where I am. But that’s not really a feature.
And I love the idea of giving a “soundtrack,” although I haven’t figured out how to actually link in songs and all that… partly, I worry about copyright issues, and also, I’m so anti-Apple that the best online apps out there, which use Apple’s iTunes universe, are kind of off-limits for me.
Just for the sake of trying, today’s soundtrack, walking to work: Cat Stevens, Cafe Tacuba (mexi rock), 소녀시대 (k-pop), BigBang (k-rap), Cold (grunge / alt).  “Shuffle” is awesome.
pictureMy student Tammy (2nd grade) sent me a message from her cellphone to mine which consisted only of a “cute” animated picture.  I managed to capture it, but it’s not animated, now. See at right.
Anyway, I’m going to try for a weekly feature: an attitude barometer. Like most things in this blog, it’s vulnerable to the primary criticism I’ve received… it’s basically narcissistic. Of course. This is really just a diary, right? As long as we’re clear on that, hey, if you don’t want to read it, then don’t, OK?
The attitude barometer consists of a few questions that will have numerical answers. Some positive questions, some negative. Kind of like those questions in the Harper’s Index. The variation in numbers from week to week will provide an indication of my general mood and attitude, mostly about my work.

  • Number of times I’ve opened my resignation letter and edited it:  1
  • Barrier-surpassing moments of Korean-language usage (outside of work only):  0
  • Spirit-destroying moments of Korean-language communication breakdown (outside of work only):  2
  • Number of students that have said something to the effect of “teacher, you’re so funny” while fighting off an apoplectic fit of giggles:  3
  • Number of times I’ve told someone that I am “much happier than when I was in L.A.”:  3
  • Number of times I really meant it (as opposed to the “fake it till you make” approach I’m fond of): 2
  • Days I was late to work this week:  2
  • Total number of minutes I was late, minus total number of minutes I showed up early:  45

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Caveat: 아어에즈! and other random observations

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / Quotable / The Wonders of Work

My student Gina was a veritable goldmine of one-liners today.
She said “아어에즈!” (which is apparently utter nonsense aeoejeu – kind of a howl of frustration – but they made sure I spelled it correctly, so I have my doubts, although Koreans take their vowels very seriously).
She said “Tiny green-skinned girl disappears!” somberly.
She observed that “A romance like wine is very expensive!” in response to a newspaper article we were reading.
And she announced, self-pityingly, “I memorized but I can’t remember” during the vocabulary quiz.
I decided to try some 잣죽 (rice and pine-nut porridge) for dinner (made from a little packet by adding water in a saucepan, boil, stir… just like any porridge I guess).  It was pretty good.

Caveat: Midterms

Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work

Midterm grades are due this week through next Monday.  As usual, I have a lot of unfinished grading to plow through, though nothing as bad as last term's.  But I'm having a difficult time motivating and getting to work earlier than absolutely required, to do the extra work;  meanwhile, I still stand firm on my "no work comes home with me" policy.  Hmmm. 

Caveat: Comics n Pics

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

My student Sydney “borrowed” my cellphone and snapped the following picture of me in class this evening.
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At least I don’t look quite as geeky as I normally do.
She also drew the comic below. Not a great pic of it, but it shows Peter-teacher and Jared-teacher and Jared’s alligator (known by the monicker “Number Six”).
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Caveat: Bah humbug

Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work

Yes, it's xmas eve.  No, I'm not particularly thrilled about it.  I do get the day off tomorrow (which was not, in fact, the case when I was at LinguaForum).  But… I almost wish I didn't have the day off, as I'm currently sick with a minor cold, it seems, and not very happy.  So having work to distract me seems like a potentially good thing.  Oh well.

I had fun, happy xmases as a child.  But mostly, now, I associate xmas with long, drawn-out, never-ending battles of words with Michelle – that was how we celebrated, I guess.  So… I'll spend it alone, mulling over potential exit strategies from my not-much-liked job.

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