I try to draw themed alligators for various US-centric holidays.
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]
Category: The Wonders of Work
Caveat: Mr X’s Ecosystem
My student Seunghyeon, a 9th grader who insists of going by the English nickname of "Mr X," made a rather elaborate doodle on this TEPS listening answer paper during our listening class the other day.
When I asked him what it was, he told me it was an "ecosystem." I could see that. There are fish, oil, crabs playing some kind of sport on a beach, an man fishing, a buried fossil…
I think it all started because there was a question on the listening practice test that included a fragment of a lecture on the topic of sharks and their position in the food chain. So he drew the shark. The rest followed.
The doodle reminds me very much of the kinds of doodles I tend(ed) to do during boring meetings or classes (back in the day). Notably, I used to draw large numbers of buried fossils and skeletons on the margins of things. In high school, such skeletons even appeared on work that I turned in for my drafting (drawing) classes.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: A message for the spies
Some months ago, the whiteboard in room 212 had been coming loose. There was worry that it would fall down at an inopportune time, so Curt told Mr Park (the 과장님 – literally "supervisor" or "chief" but really he's a kind of glorified handyman and janitor at Karma) to add some reinforcements to its support. He duly attached some extra screws with fat washers to hold the whiteboard in its place on the wall.
I guess for whatever reason, one of the girls in my HS2-M cohort noticed these rather larger features in strangely placed, apparently random locations on edges of the whiteboard.
"It looks like a CC camera," she observed. It did rather, if you didn't look too closely.
"Someone is spying on you," I observed, perhaps teasing a bit.
Another girl turned and pointed at the "official" CC camera, mounted on the ceiling in the corner of the room. "Of course," she observed.
Such CC cameras are ubiquitious in Korean life, and as far as I can figure out, are actually legally mandated for settings like schools and hagwon. Presumeably, they serve to provide reassurance to parents that nothing bad can happen to their children because there is a record of classroom activity. And I know Curt has spent money to make sure they are all working and well-maintained, which supports the idea that there's a regulation requiring them – but I don't know this for certain.
"That one is unofficial," I clarified, pointing at the screw-with-washer on the whiteboard. This obligated me to spend several minutes explaining the word "unofficial." Which, of course, is exactly the sort of conversation I most like to have with my students: relevant, student-driven, but, hopefully, full of new information and/or vocabulary.
After that, one of the other girls, Gayeong, asked, "Who would want to spy unofficial?"
"Kim Jeong-eun," I joked. One of the other kids laughed.
"Oh no!" Gayeong declared, and mimed an insincere, mocking look of shock and terror. The North Korean leader is mostly an object of derision and gallows-humor for typical South Korean middle-schoolers. He's not taken very seriously.
But then a soft-spoken and shy girl, who happened to be sitting closest to the whiteboard, really shocked me. She leaned forward, toward the "camera," and in an earnest whisper said, simply, "Fuck you."
"Jiwon," I declared, both impressed by this very idiomatic experession and dismayed by its vulgarity. "What's that about?"
Of course, even without teaching them, all the kids know this type of English – it's too ubiquitous in American pop culture (movies and music) for them not to know what it means and how it's best deployed effectively.
Jiwon just shrugged and smiled. "He's a bad person."
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Eiffelgators
Another picture in what seems to be turning into a series of student artwork inspired by my whiteboard cartoon alligators. There seems to be a sort of competition emerging among the youngest cohort of students, as to who can present me with the most elaborate drawing of alligators. These alligators are a "couple" (커플 [keopeul] a "konglish" borrowing into Korean) on some kind of romantic getaway to Paris, evidently.
I like Yejun's work because it's actually rather sophisticated, in a technical way – note how she's drawn the screen of the "phone" (the 2010's version of what was once called a "camera") being used to take the picture of the alligator couple. She's got a reduced-size version of the scene being photographed, represented in a rather realistic way. This shows quite a bit of understanding of things like points-of-view and even perspective, for a 2nd grader, and exploits a conceit common to much great art: that of the "picture within a picture."
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Gary’s Gator Ranch
I don't have much to say. I've been a bit under the weather – some kind of stomach bug.
Meanwhile, I present 3rd grader Gary's Christmas-themed Alligator Ranch.
[daily log: walking, 7.5km]
Caveat: The Karmic Black Hole
Last night, we had a 회식 [hwehsik – Korean "business dinner"] at a samgyeopsal joint we frequent (Korean grilled pork, mostly "bacon" cuts but prepared differently). This was to wish a farewell to two departing coworkers, and a welcome to a new one.
I will particularly miss my coworker Kay. She has been probably the kindest "deskmate" I've had in my years teaching in Korea. She is good at conversation, and good at overcoming the inhibitions so many Koreans (even English teachers) have about communicating in English. She is happy to talk (or try to talk) about topics a lot of Koreans shy away from: politics, religion, the meaning of life.
She recently lost her sister, which I've blogged about, having gone to the funeral.
So she decided a life change was in order – which I am utterly sympathetic to. Therefore I am actually pleased she's going – for her.
But I will definitely miss her. And she is genuinely caring and interested in the kids – she has never been just a "time-keeping" teacher. She enjoys interacting with them.
She said something funny, the other day. But first, some background.
There's a kind of revolving door, at Karma. People leave. Move on. But then they end up back, working at Karma again. Curt (the owner) clearly inspires a certain loyalty.
I think, of my coworkers, every single one has left at some point, yet has come back to work again at Karma. Except Kay, of course. I would even count myself, in that – I worked for Curt back in the pre-Karma days, at LinguaForum. And I left, yet I returned.
So I joked to Kay about her coming back, later, at some point.
She got a very annoyed, but amused look on her face. "That can't happen. That really can't happen. It won't happen."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
There was along pause.
"This place is like a black hole."
We laughed.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Girl Ambidexter
Sometimes my students reveal unexpected, surprising talents. The other day, because it had come up in some discussion of the word "ambidexterous," a middle school girl named Hyein announced that she could write equally well with both hands. I was somewhat skeptical, so she proceeded to write a demonstration on the whiteboard. She used her left hand. The writing was smooth and was comfortably quite fast, hardly slower than when she normally writes with her right hand. It exhibits her characteristic "messiness" that is also typical of her right hand, too – it reflects the same handwriting style, I guess you could say.
I was duly impressed. This is actually a pretty rare skill, and had always seemed to me to be indicative of quite a bit of both mental and physical acuity.
Hyein shared her story, though: she said that when she was 6 or 7, her mom had seen her writing with her left hand, and had told her she had to do it with her right hand. This is, of course, common in Asian cultures (and earlier-era Western cultures, too). So the girl is a "native" left hander, but in having been shifted to the right hand when younger, she retained her left-handed ability. Of course you hear about this happening all the time, but I had never run across it experientially, before.
[daily log: walking, 6km]
Caveat: I need to see that
We were looking at Christmas song videos the other day, in a middle school class – as a kind of reward at the end of class. So I was searching on youtube, and it was up on the screen with the projector. I actually like to do things like this – the kids can engage with a routine, day-to-day "how to search the internet in English" undertaking, at a practical level. They can sort of "look over my shoulder" as I try to find something, all the time as I also talk, explaining what I'm doing. They pick up vocabulary about things like "click there," "search for X," that kind of thing, which is often missing in formal curricula, if only because a lot of this terminology is still pretty new.
A girl who sometimes goes by Sally was quite funny. I had the youtube search results up, and I was scrolling through them. She jumped up, as if it were an emergency.
"Teacher! Stop!" She said, assertively. "You need to click that 'Official Video.' I need to see that handsome man right away."
Of course, I broke down laughing. "Oh, you 'need' to see that?"
She nodded vigorously, all seriousness.
So I clicked the video – some saccharinely handsome American pop star, singing a forgettable rendition of a Christmas song. I didn't bookmark it. But you get the idea.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Crazy Frog
Yesterday I had some minutes at the end of my CC class, and wanted to show the kids something Christmas-themed. This is only vaguely Christmas-themed, but they found it quite entertaining. I did too.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Actually, your behavior is pretty weird
I had my middle school 7th grade cohort, HS1-T, write "Letters to Santa." But the idea was to create coherent, reasoned essays. They are my most talented class, linguistically and intellectually, if not, erm, motivationally.
I think in this case, however, they were very creative. One girl, Yeoeun, wrote a quite humorous letter. Here it is, unedited or modified.
Letter to santa.
Hello dear my Santa. Now I am writing letter to you! Wow very crazy. Very weird because I think you are not real and you are crinimal. If you are read this letter you will not give me the present. I am sorry . HAHA.
Actually, your behavior is pretty weird. You don’t know the people who believe Santa. However you trespass in to people’s houses. There are many criminal events similar like you. The crinimal inspire about your behavior and they use their crimine method. It is seriously bad event. Please stop being weird trespassing. It is peace for the world.
If you are a real, I want to go concert with you ! On Christmas, there are a many concert. There are ‘Golen Disc Award’, “Seoul Music Award’, and SBS, MBC, KBS’s ‘Song Festival”. I am the fan. I like the boy group ‘ Seventeen’. I try to get ticketing but I failed. I have very bad slow hand. So I want to see them. I love them and I respect them.
Third, I want to be a lotto winner! There are many people who win the lotto. But I am not win the lotto. So I want to be them ! I want always getting many money. If I have many money, I can burn the money. Overuse is always happy. Buy the clothes, cars, airplanes, buildings and do it all. Also I can get the concert tickets! I really want this things come true.
I know this is not a real. But many people believe you because of comfort.But I want you are a real. Your behavior is little bit crazy but maybe have a good heart. Merry Christmas !!!
[daily log: walking, 1.5km]
Caveat: Try
Seokhwan is a smart but extremely unmotivated sixth-grader. He's also very shy. He is capbable of having conversation in English, but he has to have something he wants to say. Mostly, what he wants to say is some kind of complaint about the current situation, whatever it may be. But I've noticed he's got a clever sense of humor.
Yesterday, we were taking our year-end "level test" – which will place the students in the new January classes.
Seokhwan to teacher: "I can't do this test."
Teacher to Seokhwan: "Just try."
Later, Seokhwan to teacher: "Really, I can't do this test."
Teacher to Seokhwan: "Try."
Still later, Seokhwan to teacher: "This test is too hard."
Teacher to Seokhwan: "Try."
After the test, looking at the test paper… teacher to Seokhwan: "What did you do? I can't even read your writing."
Seokhwan to teacher: "Try."
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]
Caveat: snowgator
The latest incarnation of my whiteboard-dwelling tribe of cartoon alligators is feeling cold. We're having cold weather, lately, here in Goyang (highs around -5 C, and -10 or -15 at night). So I made the snowgator.
[daily log: walking, 7.5km]
Caveat: I forgot what I was gonna say
My students, at ALL levels, have a very common habit of simply answering "No" when asked "What?" by a teacher.
For example, the student will raise her hand, and the teacher will say, "Yes, Gayeong?" and the student will simply reply "No." This is just a direct translation of how Koreans express the concept expressed more colloquially in English with responses like "Nevermind" or "Nothing" or "I forgot what I was gonna say."
I try very hard to convince the students that just saying "No" in English in this pragmatic context doesn't work. It comes across as incoherent at best and rude at worst. I don't know why this is – it's just the way English pragmatics works, I guess.
So I felt a huge victory last night when Gayeong raised her hand and yelled out, "Teacher!" as students do, in Korea (another mismatch on pragmatics, but that's a different battle). I said to her, "What?" and without missing a beat, and with perfect intonation and grammar, she said, "Oh. I forgot what I was gonna say."
I was so impressed. It's been at least a year with that class, since I first said, please don't just say "No" when you don't want to answer my question "What?"
[daily log: what? no. walking, 7.5km]
Caveat: 시루에 물길어 붓기
I learned this aphorism from my book of aphorisms.
시루에 물길어 붓기
si.ru.e mul.gil.eo but.gi
rice-cake-steamer-INTO water-fill-INF pour-GER
[Like] pouring water trying to fill a rice cake steamer.
A rice cake steamer (“shiru”) is a perforated ceramic pot. So you can’t fill it – it has holes. So this aphorism means any fruitless task.
That’s somewhat like teaching my HS1-T cohort.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: I would like to live in a cave
In my HS1-M cohort, the other day, we were practicing TOEFL speaking prompts for type 1 questions. These are just personal opinions. During practice, I let the students write out their intended responses, before speaking, so that they feel more in control of their grammar and vocabulary and don't "freeze" in trying to speak.
The prompt was:
In which kind of natural environment (mountains, sea, desert, etc.) would you like to live? Please include specific examples and details in your explanation.
Jiwon, a shy girl who occasionally surprises me, wrote (and then said, more or less effectively), the following (transcribed with grammar and spelling, etc., sic):
I would like to live in a cave. because cave is cool and cover from the light. If I live in a cave, I can greet bears and bats. Sometimes I can meet people. On the other hand, I would like to live in the desert. because In winter, cave is too cold. So I want to build in the desert. Finally, I would like to live in a cave in summer and I would like to live in the desert in winter.
I asked if she was a tropical vampire, or some kind of wild animal.
She grinned, and shrugged. With a mysterious tone, she said, "Maybe."
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Panoptigator
My students in my youngest EB1-M cohort drew this picture. It started out during the break time, when I often let them play with markers on the whiteboard, but I was so impressed with their idea, we turned it into an impromptu class project. Emma and Michelle did most of the actual drawing, but the other students made comments, and there were repeated "edits" until each student was satisfied with their portrait.
I just stood there like a blockhead. Go figure.
I really like it. But I wonder about the all-seeing alligator above. What's that about?
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Waar Wacht Je Op?
Last night in my PM1-M cohort CC class (cloze listening of pop songs), I felt like I was living in some kind of Lord of the Flies rendition of hagwon life.
You see, this one boy, Eric, was opening a packet of snack ramen. The kids eat the dried ramen noodles dry, sort like potato chips, with the flavor packets opened and sprinkled over the broken up noodles. What they do is they open the packet enough to get out the flavor packet, which they extract and add into the noodle package. Then they hold the noodle package closed and mash up the noodles inside, so they're all tiny fragments and the flavor granules are distributed. It's like do-it-yourself Doritos, maybe.
So Eric had done this work. And then he tore open his now mashed up and flavored pack of dried noodles eagerly, with a plan to eat his snack. Normally I'm pretty tolerant of kids eating snacks in my class, despite an official rule against it, because I know the whole business of attending night class for elementary age students means sometimes they are hungry and haven't eaten since an after-school snack or something.
The other boys (the cohort is currently all boys, just by luck of the draw) were eyeing his snack jealously and hungrily. Unfortunately, Eric opened his packet too aggressively. The noodle fragments, stained orange by the spicy flavor granules, flew all over the room, landing on desks, chairs, floor, and even in Eric's hair. The boy sat with a stunned and despondant look on his face.
But the worst was when the other boys, seeing their chance, swooped in and began grabbing up all the scattered noodle fragments. They didn't seem to care that the bits were on the floor, chairs and desks. They ate them. In less than a minute, most of the bits were gone. Even the ones in Eric's hair. While Eric still just sat, looking stunned.
I said, "Really? Really? You guys are eating off the floor? It's like a pack of dogs!"
In fact, I wasn't that scandalized – I could barely contain my laughing. But given my in loco parentis role (more loco than parentis, perhaps), I felt obligated to be upset by the performance.
Anyway, we got it cleaned up. It took up about half the class time, though. I guess the boys were not annoyed by this.
Quite unrelatedly, what I'm listening to right now.
Sticks & Big2, "Waar Wacht Je Op?!" Don't ask me why. I just listen to weird things, sometimes. Why not a little bit of Dutch hiphop?
Lyrics.
[Intro: Sticks]
Waar wacht je op?
Waar wacht je op?
Waar wacht je op?
Sticky Steez!
[Intro: Big2]
Hé Sticks, go get 'em!
[Verse 1: Sticks]
Je krijgt deez nuts, Dries van Noten
Breek het open, pistachenoten
Een piece of mind en een piece van mij
Voor de fun en fuck de police d'r bij
Nou als ik niet beweeg, breng ik niets te weeg
En wat zijn mijn woorden waard als ik ze niet meer weeg?
Ik deel mijn lief en leed, en het gaat fucking flex
Maar men ziet liever leed en beef-dvd's
Ik ga next-level, van rap battles naar HMH
Ga aan de kant Jett Rebel en Chef's Special
En Kensington en Go Back To The Zoo
En hoe lauwer de beat, hoe gekker je doet
Ambitie maakt dat ik move met m'n shit
Ambitie maakt dat jij grooved op die shit
'T is hard werken om je vrijheid te behouden
Maar de up-side: het kan allemaal van jou zijn
Nou waar wacht je op?
[Chorus: Sticks & Big2]
Get loose met je poes, als ik dit niet doe zijn we helemaal floes
(Waar wacht je op?)
En iedereen doet mee, met de Sticky Steez en de Biggie 2
(Waar wacht je op?)
Geen plan, gewoon gaan, de leeuw laat je echt niet in zijn hempie staan (Waar wacht je op?)
En de beat goes on (Lachen toch?) En de beat goes, on
(Waar wacht je op?)
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt, het is aan jou…
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt, het is aan jou…
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
[Verse 2: Sticks]
Nou als het moet, bos ik op bam bam ritmes
Chaka Demus & en de Pliers in een 5-0-1 levi's
Met een witte Air Max, met een pipi' achter mijn oor
Geeft niks, het is the latest greatest
Nadenken is de vijand van vrijheid
Check deze Twan, volgens mij zijn we highlights
Daar moest je bij zijn, anderen willen dat me zijn maar zijn te klein als Royce da 5'9
Voor de clubs ben ik te nuchter, lever de track af, breek de tent af
Zoek rust midden in de drukte
Heel het leven is een trip beter stap je in (Waar wacht je op?)
Record wat, breng het uit de dag erop
Deel de hele taart uit, zet er slagroom op
Er is genoeg voor ieder, er is genoeg voor ieder
Waar wacht je op?
[Chorus: Sticks & Big2]
Get loose met je poes, als ik dit niet doe zijn we helemaal floes
(Waar wacht je op?)
En iedereen doet mee, met de Sticky Steez en de Biggie 2
(Waar wacht je op?)
Geen plan, gewoon gaan, de leeuw laat je echt niet in zijn hempie staan (Waar wacht je op?)
En de beat goes on (Lachen toch?) En de beat goes, on
(Waar wacht je op?)
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt, het is aan jou…
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt
Het maakt niet uit wie wat zegt, het is aan jou…
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: The Alligary
My second grade student Michelle, who seems to be some kind of cartoonist prodigy, drew this character on my whiteboard the other day. She told me it was the Alligary. Now we have another student, who's English name is Gary. And frankly, in its minimalistic way, this drawing is an excellent caricature: the bowl-shaped haircut, the disgruntaled half-frown. I certainly would have recognized it as being him, if she'd only hinted that it was a student in our class.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: No thanks…
That's how I was feeling last night. It's Thanksgiving in the US, but it's just a regular day of work, here. And it was a particularly awful day at work.
I was feeling incompetent as a teacher, and yet also frustrated with idiotic parents who complain about what I like to hope are good, research-supported teaching methods.
It was one of those fortunately rare days when I walk home daydreaming about quitting my job. I used to suffer that a lot. When I worked in those computer jobs, I literally spent every day daydreaming such things. In general, I stick with this teaching thing because I don't suffer those kinds of days so often.
So last night, I was thinking, "No thanks…"
This morning, there was a dusting of snow in my neighborhood. You can kind of see it on Jeongbal Hill, in the background, and on the trees in front of the maternity hospital in the foreground.
So for that, thanks.
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]
Caveat: 거기 이상해요
Curt said, “What do you think of the new lights in the hall?”
I answered, “Those? Actually, I think they’re a little bit weird.” They had these odd LED blue stripes for some reason, giving a slightly eerie feel. I wasn’t sure what the point of that was. Just an effort to make for a unique lighting effect?
A bit huffily, as if I had impugned his interior-decorating skills, Curt replied, “What do you mean, ‘weird’?”
In that very instant, a third grade student, Gloria, emerged from the hall in question. I’m certain she hadn’t been overhearing the exchange between Curt and me, nor could she have necessarily even understood it, since she is not a high-level student.
Gloria said, in her typically assertive manner, “선생님, 거기 이상해요. [Teacher. It’s weird over there.]”
Needless to say, in that moment, I felt profoundly vindicated.
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]
Caveat: Solving Supernatural Problems
As I said I would do a few days ago, here are revisions of my ED1M cohort's Halloween stories. These are entirely the students' writing, but I have made sometimes rather substantial revisions of grammar or vocabulary to make them more "native sounding" – I don't want the students memorizing speeches with bad grammar, as it only serves to reinforce or "fossilize" bad habits. I have not altered the plots as created by the students, although in a few cases I had to fill in some elisions with guesses as to the writer's intent. These plots are mostly quite a bit "darker" than the one I created. This is pretty developmentally appropriate for 4th-5th graders, I think. Death and gore are abstractions, but compelling ones from a story-telling standpoint.
Lucy
One day, there was a lonely ghost, named Nina. The ghost had died with a lot of tension, so Nina wanted to meet other ghost friends and she wanted to try to resolve her depression. Nina was reading a book about a call. Finally a friend called Nina and she was so excited to meet the new friend. This friend's name was Lum. Lum said, "I want to meet you." Nina said, "Sure, let's meet at the playground. Okay?" Lum said, "Okay. Good idea." Nina went to the playground and met Lum. Nina said, "Hello. I'm Nina. Let's be friends!" Lum said, "Good, I want to be your friend too." Then Nina said, "What should we do?" Lum said, "Let's go play with the other living people. It'll be fun to meet living people and they'll be happy to meet us. Let's go down to the ground." Nina said, "Sure, I want to meet these living people too. Let's go!" Nina and Lum floated down to the ground, and went to a school, and saw the students studying. When the bell rang, Nina and Lum met a girl named Sarah. She was very embarrassed to meet a ghost. Sarah could only be friends if she became a ghost. The next day Lum said, "I want to kill Sarah. Will you help me?" "Sure," Nina said. "I want to take Sarah." Thus Nina and Lum killed Sarah with an invisible sword.
Julia
One day, there was a lonely zombie. He wanted some friends, so he went to an amusement park. There were so many people there. He saw he could make many friends. First, he met a doctor, and killed her. She became a zombie. They became friends. The two zombies now wanted many friends. They walked across the street and met many people, all of whom became zombies too. The government gave a public warning: "In the amusement park, there are zombies! Please escape as soon as possible. Hurry!" Then, night fell. The zombies became angry. "Why are there not so many people, now?" The zombies went downtown. There were people shopping. playing, and then screaming. They killed and made friends with so many. The zombies had come quickly, but were dispersed when the government made a vaccine and gave it to people. The vaccine was great, but the zombies didn't want to normal people again. The zombies went to a market. They were hungry and wanted to eat fresh brains. There were many people. "Let's eat and make friends," they said. But one zombie had the vaccine."I can be a good person. I want to take the vaccine." She took the medicine and ran away from the other zombies. She said to the people, "Zombies! Run away!" The zombies were angry. One of the zombies ate her brain and she became a zombie again. She thought, "I don't have to be a good person. Let's find fresh brains." This earth became a zombie world.
Gina
One day, there was a lonely skeleton. This skeleton woke up only on Halloween. The skeleton waits until a child says, "Trick or treat?" Then it grabs the child and eats it. So one day, a child came and said, "Treat or trick?" The skeleton did not hear, because the skeleton could only hear "Trick or treat?" The child had said it backwards. Regrettably, then the child said again, "Trick or Treat?" The skeleton heard that, of course, and chased after him. The boy saw the skeleton and ran. The boy ran to his home and put a human doll in front of the door. The skeleton saw the doll and attacked it and ate it. The next day, the boy saw the skeleton was gone. He was shocked. He went to the hospital. There he dreamed about the skeleton. In the dream, the skeleton came and started eating his head. Then his mom came, and the skeleton hid. After his mom went out, the skeleton started eating his brain. Next the skeleton ate his foot, and his stomach. The boy woke up and was surprised to see he didn't have part of his brain and he didn't have part of his foot or stomach either. For five minutes he did nothing, he was so tired, and he slept again. In a dream, the skeleton returned and at his arm and one of his ears. The boy woke up again, and he was missing an arm and an ear. He looked around and saw the skeleton one more time. The skeleton ate the rest of the boy's body.
Amy
One day, there was a lonely mummy. That night, the mummy wanted to eat some people. Then a woman discovered the mummy, and she was not afraid. The mummy wanted to be friends with her, and she wanted to, too. So she and the mummy became friends. However, she left the mummy finally, because they didn't get along. She hated the mummy. So then the mummy was sad again. She was angry. The mummy started eating people. She ate many people. People tried avoiding the mummies. But the lone mummy got worse. People tried to kill the lone mummy that ate people, but it was not easy. This was because the mummy was eating the police, too. The people still didn't give up. Finally, the police injured the mummy. Unfortunately, because the zombie had been eating them, the police became zombies. Then the police ate people, too. This was terrible. As a result, the village gradually changed into a zombie community. It was a zombie village where only zombies lived. The zombies in the zombie village went to another village, and another. The zombies spread, causing the entire country to be overtaken by the zombie virus. The world was full of zombies, then. After a few more years, it was full of mummies too. In the end, it was full of ghosts. The world has changed strangely.
Luna
One day, there was a lonely devil. The devil liked to play. So the devil would take children's shoes. One day a girl named Elizabeth was crying. She had lost her shoes. That was what the devil had done. All of the kids were crying, and the devil was so happy. The devil also ate people's blood. "Today," Elizabeth said, "I will get my shoes!" That night she didn't sleep. She just hid in the tree. She said, "I'm sleepy, now." She decided nothing would happen, so she went to her room. At that time the devil came to Elizabeth's house. Elizabeth saw the devil, and said, "You are taking my shoes!" The devil was so surprised. The Devil ran away. He said, "I will take children's clothes and things." Elizabeth thought that finally the devil would not take children's shoes. But then one day the kids were crying again. Elizabeth knew this was the devil's work. So she said to all of the kids, "Now let's catch that bad devil." They waited for the devil. At that time, the devil came. Elizabeth said, "One, two, three, catch him!" So they caught the bad devil. The devil said, "What is going on? Hey! Hey! What are you doing to such as fantastic devil as me?" Elizabeth said, "Give us our shoes and clothes!" The devil was so scared, so he said, "Yes! Yes, I will do it." Elizabeth and her friends said, "This devil is so bad. They clapped and said, "Yeah! We caught that devil." Now they were happy.
Sean
One day, there was a lonely werewolf, named WW. WW wanted to eat guts. WW went to the mountains to hunt animals. He ate a lot of animals, but he was still very hungry. The police came and tried to catch WW, so he ran away. Finally WW was caught and put in jail. After 10 years, WW wanted to get revenge. He went to a village and killed all the people and ate their guts. The police came to the village to fight against WW. The fight lasted two years and the police shot many guns. The werewolf was badly hurt but killed all of the police. Finally WW became a kind of werewolf ghost that eats children's guts. The children screamed, "Ahhh!"
A saint came and hit the werewolf ghost, cutting through his body. WW was angry and this, and became a zombie. He was hungry, then, and ate many people's brains. He went to the city and many people became zombies. They ate each other's brains and even ate each other's bodies. Obama saw this problem and sent some soldiers to come and kill the zombies. But the werewolf-ghost-zombie WW couldn't be killed, so Obama himself came and fought WW. It was Obama versus WW. Obama shot the legs on the creature so he couldn't walk. Then Obama sent a missile and destroyed the earth. This solved the problem.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: The Tissue-Paper Mummy Tradition
Every year, Karma English Academy has a Halloween party. The tradition has become that I run an activity room at the party, where visiting cohorts of students compete to make the best tissue paper mummy.
This year, this past Friday, some students in one class insisted that I should be the mummy. I allowed them, and two boys named Alex and Daho mummified me quite well. Daho took a picture of Alex taking a selfie with the mummy-teacher.
Of all the student mummies produced, I believe Lucy was the best, as mummified by her friend Julia and Amy.
Lucy was unusual of the student mummies, in that she didn't complain at all about being mummified. She seemed to enjoy it. She stayed perfectly still. This made her easier to mummify. One has to have a certain tolerance for claustrophobic feelings.
[daily log: walking, 1.5km]
Caveat: The Lonely Black Cat vs Alligator Zombie
I gave my ED1-M cohort a task to write a Halloween story. I gave them a prompt paper with a phrase like, "One day, there was a lonely {halloween creature: zombie, vampire, witch, black cat, etc.}."
Most of them made very interesting stories. I'll post a selection of those, with corrections, soon. But meanwhile, I had several students who failed to make their own stories. Since the next step in the exercise is to memorize their stories for presentation to the class for their month-end test, I had to provide these students with a story to prepare for presentation. So I imitated my students' style and created my own story. Here it is.
One day there was a lonely black cat, named Cat. Cat had no friends, because everyone believed she worked for the town witch, Puckle MacBeth. That wasn't true. Cat only visited the witch because sometimes the witch gave her something to eat. Every day, Cat sat outside the town, wishing someone would be her friend. But that day, everything changed. You see, a giant zombie alligator came to the town. The zombie alligator was very terrible, with big teeth and no brain. It bit the people in the town, and started eating them. Even the other cats in the town were running and hiding, and the witch, Puckle, flew away on her broom. Cat was scared, but she knew she had to do something. She knew alligators liked to eat monkeys. She found a rainbow monkey doll and she put some poison inside the monkey doll. She put the monkey doll out by the road. The zombie alligator came by and saw the monkey. It ate the monkey doll without even slowing down. It went into the town to eat some children. But the poison from the monkey doll was very strong. Soon the zombie alligator was weaving and getting sleepy. It grabbed a small child with its giant mouth and started to chew. But the poison made the alligator stop chewing. Finally, it fell down in the street. It died. Everyone the town was very happy. They were thankful for Cat's smart thinking. The child who the alligator had been about to eat was very grateful. The child became Cat's best friend.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Crunchtime with Skeletons and Cancer Dreams
The weeks leading up to Halloween are, for me, always some of the hardest in the year at Karma Academy – because of our tradition of having a Halloween Event for the elementary students, combined with the the rhythms of the Korean academic calendar, which leads to a full schedule of classes for middle schoolers and also having to prepare tests for the elementary kids.
So…. Very busy.
I had a horrible nightmare last night. Unrelated to the current intensity of work, but perhaps merely brought out by the incidence of stress.
I dreamed I was back at the Cancer Center. They'd found another tumor. I was going through it all again. It was just a "replay of stressful experience" dream, but with full consciousness, within the dream, that it was a replay.
I woke up feeling quite discouraged about life.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Teaching English to Cats
Despite being broadly satisfied with my job and chosen career, nevertheless I have days when I end up deeply pessimistic about my abilities as a teacher, and that always sends me off on a kind of spiral of self-doubt and fruitless, fantastical ideation about alternate career paths.
Yesterday was such a day. My difficult middle school HS1-T cohort persisted in being difficult. How can such smart kids be so completely uninterested? Not only uninterested in learning, but even deeply uninterested in the social contract we call a cohesive classroom. They just do whatever the hell they want.
It's like teaching English to cats. The cats just move around and do their own thing, and look on at the teacher, somewhat amusedly, from their utterly inhuman viewpoint. Meanwhile if the thought crosses their mind, they will play or attack one of their peers. Or open a window. Or get up and leave the classroom. Yelling and screaming feels like at best an utterly temporary fix: it can get the cats to sit still and feign detached attentiveness for maybe 30 seconds or 2 minutes, but soon enough a new whim will take one or more off on their secret tangent again. And yet bear in mind: this collection of students has the highest average score on English proficiency of any class at Karma.
I've never had a class quite like it. Normally, collections of high-scoring students are also well-behaved and fairly engaged learners. I don't know how to control these kids in any kind of positive way. I can only flail and yell and produce reactions of reluctant, very brief compliance. My gut feeling is that the classroom dynamic is driven more by the social interaction among the students than their individual personalities. It's a kind of toxic combination of teenage competitiveness and camaraderie. They're each trying to outdo or impress their peers in acts of passive-aggressive rebellion. My instinct in moments of highest frustration is to try to separate them into individual workers, and cut off social interaction – but that's almost impossible, and produces seething waves of angry resentment. And anyway, doing so doesn't make sense in a class where I'm supposed to be focused on the communicative, speaking function of language.
Argh.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: 너 보단 내가 더 커
The middle-school girls in my HS1-T cohort seem to have this song memorized (below). They were performing a fairly plausible rendition, spontaneously, in class last Saturday. I complained that since we were in English class, they should be doing a song in English. They pointed out there were some English words in the song – which is true, there are few snippets anyway. But every Korean pop song has a few snippets of English – it’s almost a genre requirement as far as I can figure out. Anyway their performance was sufficiently well-done that I got the song earwormed into my head and I subsequently googled it.
The catchphrase is “너 보단 내가 더 커” [neo boda naega deo keo], which is repeated so many times, means, “I am bigger than you.” The song is basically about rivalry with respect to height among girls. It’s quite petty, but satirically so, with a classic, very westernized ironic tone.
What I’m listening to right now.
마마무, “1cm의 자존심.”
가사.
여기 나보다 큰 사람 있어
없으면 됐어
마마무 마마무 마마무
너 보단 내가 더 커
넌 160 난 1
마마무 마마무 마마무
우리 끼리끼리끼리
딱 1cm 차이
뭔 헛소리
일단 휘인인 먼 나라 얘기
Ok 베프지만
키 앞에선 장사 없지
Small 휘인
어줍자니 일센치 가지고
언니들 이러기
우리 쿨하게 좀 가자
나만 힐 신기
너와 나의 차이 1cm
언닌 두상이 좀 커
그냥 받아들여 난쟁이
그냥 받아들여
달라질 건 없어 인생
뭐라카노
Do you know What I’m saying
아이고 우리 언니가
어디 번데기 앞에서
주름을 잡을까요
이봐요 올라오려면 멀었네
여기 높은 곳까지
거기 아랫 공기는 어때
많이 탁하지
난 거기 못 가 입장불가
고만고만해 그만그만해
이럴 시간 있음
다른 거나 고민해
Oh 우리 휘인이 손이 안 닿니
내가 꺼내줄께
언니가 이 구역에 장신
마마무 마마무 마마무
너 보단 내가 더 커
넌 160 난 1
마마무 마마무 마마무
우리 끼리끼리끼리
딱 1cm 차이
A-YO 반올림해도 작아요
나보다 더
깔창을 깔아봐요 소용없나요
힐을 신어도 티가 나고
운동화를 신어도 티가 나
키 순서가 도레미파
너와 나의 차이 1cm
1.8
누가 봐도 이건 Same Same
둘 다 두상이 좀 커
여긴 우물 안의 전쟁
You know What I’m talking about
거기 문스타
아주 그냥 물 만나셨어
어허 인정해
여유 넘치는 게
장신인척 난리
우월한 척 난리
최홍만 인 척 난리
그래 봤자 도토리
맷돌손잡이가 빠졌어
맷돌손잡이가 빠졌어
지나가는 조태오가 웃어
지금 내 기분이 그래
어이가 없네
마마무 마마무 마마무
너 보단 내가 더 커
넌 160 난 1
마마무 마마무 마마무
우리 끼리끼리끼리
딱 1cm 차이
여기 나보다 큰사람 있어
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 너 보단
내가 더 커
잘 들어 난쟁이들아
내가 이 바닥에서
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 내가 더 커
너 보단 너 보단 너 보단
내가 더 커
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: A Tribe of Alligators and Their Trash
My second grade student Michelle, featured recently for her artistic skills, took my compliments of her abilities to heart, and presented me with this colorful gift yesterday.
This was the topic of last night's little couplet, too.
[daily log: walking, 7]
Caveat: New Evidence of Dialectal Divergence in Korean
Some linguists have speculated that the divergence of dialects between South Korea and North Korea has become substantial. The vast infusion of foreign vocabulary to the "standard Korean" of the South over the last 7 decades has been largely bypassed by the North. Some South Koreans have told me they have a hard time understanding the snippets of North Korean broadcasts they sometimes see.
Last night my student James gave me new evidence.
I have a rule in my classes: "only English." I'm a speaking skills teacher, after all. I want them trying to speak English if at all possible. But sometimes, I get in trouble, because I often phrase the rule during enforcement as "no Korean" as opposed to "only English." I've had students either pretend, or, if talented, actually using snippets of Japanese or Chinese they know, for example.
So I overheard Jae-yeon speaking Korean.
"James. Were you speaking Korean? What about our 'no Korean' rule?"
There was a long pause. "Oh no, teacher. I was speaking North Korean." He grinned at his own cleverness.
"Is that a different language?" I asked, laughing.
"Oh yes. Very different!" He asserted. His friend agreed, nodding vigorously.
In fact, this was so funny, I didn't take away a point as I normally do when I catch kids speaking Korean while that rule is in effect.
For the future, I have to remember to keep the focus on "only English."
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Karma Guy
My student who goes by Michelle is a pretty talented caricaturist for a 2nd-grader. She drew this picture on the white board and told me it was me. I was impressed. I look like that dad character from the TV animated series "Family Guy."
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Sources of Intrinsic Motivation
There is a fifth-grade girl named Hye-min in my ED1-M cohort. A smart girl, but more impressively, she's quite "academically motivated." Yesterday, there was the following conversation.
We were doing an exercise in class, basically a kind of rudimentary, note-taking and/or summary effort from a bit of example writing.
Hye-min: "This is very boring."
Teacher: "I know."
Hye-min: "That makes me angry!"
Teacher: "I see."
Hye-min: "So then, I work really, really hard."
Teacher: "Hm. Because you're angry?"
Hye-min: nods.
Teacher: "So that's why you're such a good student."
Hye-min: "I know."
It wasn't exactly funny – it was more, just… insightful.
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]
Caveat: Random Poem #131
(Poem #432 on new numbering scheme)
In Ilsan, Korea, one day, An alligator, tired of play, felt hungry, so he tried to bite some kid, who cried - the other kids all shouted, "Yay!"
Caveat: 액체괴물
My students in the ED1 cohort had been developing an obsession with a toy called 액체괴물 [aek.che.goe.mul = liquid monster] in Korean, and typically marketed as “Slime” in the US. It’s not exactly a toy. It’s free-form goo, like runny play-dough. The kids carry their slime monsters around in buckets or tupperware containers. It’s easy to make your own at home, and many do that, apparently, but then keep the ooze like pets or something, and whip it out to play with it in the breaks between class.
The slime monsters were becoming a distraction, however. And getting on things (like the walls). They had to be banned.
The problem was that I knew, more or less, how it was pronounced, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out the Korean spelling, and I didn’t want to ask because I like to try to figure things out – I remember things better when I do that. The online English-Korean dictionaries weren’t being helpful. I finally figured it out yesterday, so now I can blog about it.
There are lots of sites with pictures of kids making and playing with slime. It’s huge. Not just in Korea, either – it’s popular in the US, too.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Those New Service Sector Jobs – Cactus Manager
I was with my ES2-T cohort. They're really low level. We were talking about what their parents' jobs were (i.e. My dad is a building manager). A fourth-grader named Tim insisted that his mother was a "Cactus Manager." Of course, I had no idea what a cactus manager might be. I suspected a bad translation, but even after we messed with the dictionary on my phone for a while, that was all he could come up with. I think there might be some kind of hole in the dictionary's knowledge (not unheard of). I drew pictures of cactuses and stick-figure moms managing them, and Tim thought this was entertaining but I don't think he even realized what I was trying to say.
The name of this blog post is a tribute to Tyler Cowen's economics blog – he's always finding "those new service sector jobs" that are strange or unexpected.
[daily log: walking, 7km]