Caveat: nuestros verdaderos conciudadanos

Hay sólo dos países: el de los sanos y el de los enfermos…

Hay sólo dos países: el de los sanos y el de los enfermos
por un tiempo se puede gozar de doble nacionalidad
pero, a la larga, eso no tiene sentido
Duele separarse, poco a poco, de los sanos a quienes
seguiremos unidos, hasta la muerte
separadamente unidos
Con los enfermos cabe una creciente complicidad
que en nada se parece a la amistad o el amor
(esas mitologías que dan sus últimos frutos a unos pasos del hacha)
Empezamos a enviar y recibir mensajes de nuestros verdaderos conciudadanos
una palabra de aliento
un folleto sobre el cáncer

– Enrique Lihn (poeta chileno, 1929-1988)

Noticias_201244_18326Me imagino que el aspecto que me atrajo a esta poema (o sea, el final) resulta obvio, dado mi propia experiencia reciente.

Feliz nuevo año. Trabajé hasta las 11 anoche, así que no tenía ni ganas ni interés en celebrar la noche. Hoy voy a hacer alguna excursión en Séul con mi amiga Mary que está visitando desde Daegu por el feriado.

Caveat: 눈 내리는 밤

눈 내리는 밤

말간 눈을 한
애인이여,
동공에 살던 은빛 비늘이여
오늘은 눈이 내린다
목에 하얀 수건을 둘러놓고 얼굴을 씻겨주던
가난한 애인이여,
외로운 천체에
성스러운 고요가 내린다
나는 눈을 감는다
손길이 나의 얼굴을 다 씻겨주는 시간을
– 문태준 (1970- )

Translation…

The Snowy Night

Oh, my lover
who had pure eyes;
oh, the silver scales
that occupied your eyes.
Tonight snow falls.
Oh, my poor lover
who wrapped my neck
with a white towel and washed my face,
a sacred quiet descends
upon the lonely planet.
I close my eyes
to remember the time
your hands washed my face.
– Moon Tae-jun (1970- )

This is from the excellent site called Korean Poetry in Translation. Part of the poem's effect in the original is due to the fact that the words "snow" and "eyes" are homonyms in Korean: 눈. So the "lover" is clearly the snow, right from the start.

Last night was a snowy night. It was beautiful.

[daily log (1130 pm): walking, 5 km]

Caveat: And why they kept crawling so busily

SpoonRiverAnthology40. Theodore the Poet

AS a boy, Theodore, you sat for long hours
On the shore of the turbid Spoon
With deep-set eye staring at the door of the crawfish’s burrow,
Waiting for him to appear, pushing ahead,
First his waving antennæ, like straws of hay,
And soon his body, colored like soap-stone,
Gemmed with eyes of jet.
And you wondered in a trance of thought
What he knew, what he desired, and why he lived at all.
But later your vision watched for men and women
Hiding in burrows of fate amid great cities,
Looking for the souls of them to come out,
So that you could see
How they lived, and for what,
And why they kept crawling so busily
Along the sandy way where water fails
As the summer wanes.
– Edgar Lee Masters
(from Spoon River Anthology, 1915)
I awoke from a redundant Sunday nap to an apartment’s chill atmosphere which was redolent with uncreated or unsayable sacred texts, only to pick up and read this poem – almost at random – and some others in that book, and then I fell into a kind of reverie, imagining the reader here is like Pedro Páramo, adrift among the dead in Comala.
The imagined ghosts are the ones who become the most alive.
[daily log: walking, 3 km; running, 3 km]

Caveat: the last and greatest of human dreams

It's a few days late, but I just now ran across it.

Warning: if you are unfamiliar with Burroughs, be forewarned – you might want to reconsider listening to his "prayer" (which is not a musical track, either, by the way – this is poetry being read by the author).

Burroughs was a great American writer in my humble opinion – one of the greatest – but he was undeniably deeply profane and gallingly liberal (or perhaps more correctly he was a type of libertarian – he was pro-drug but also radically pro-gun, for example, and though he despised "lawmen" he didn't seem to have much of a problem with big government in principle).

His iconoclasm comes across plenty clearly in this short bit.

William S. Burroughs, "A Thanksgiving Prayer."

Text:

For John Dillinger, in hope he is still alive.
Thanksgiving Day, November 28th, 1986.

Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts.
Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin leaving the carcasses to rot.
Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
Thanks for the American dream,
To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare lies shine through.
Thanks for the KKK.
For nigger-killin' lawmen, feelin' their notches.
For decent church-goin' women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers.
Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
Thanks for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business.
Thanks for a nation of finks.
Yes, thanks for all the memories – all right let's see your arms!
You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

Burroughs, as a writer, was perhaps one of the single most influential in my life, though you wouldn't know that by looking at my lifestyle or my other tastes and interests. I am the junkie-that-never-was.

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: 노년의 내모습도 처음으로 궁금해졌네

My mother’s visit to me here in Korea ended about a month ago. Yesterday in one of my rare visits to facebookland, I stumbled across a post by one of my co-workers, who wrote about my mother’s visit and her having met my mother when we went to Ganghwa Island. Reading (err, trying to read) a language via a dictionary can be fraught with a sort of poesic impressionism that is probably absent in the actual language, but her facebook post seemed vaguely poetic to me.
Since many people in my life don’t use facebook (including my mother), I decided to share her post here in blogland.  She had written the post to accompany a pair of photos. I then make an effort on my part to translate. If there are errors or awkwardnesses of meaning, they are mine, not the author’s, so please forgive…

호주에서 오셨던 노부인이 보내주신 캘린더와 손글씨가 정겨웠던 카드..
짧은 만남이었지만, 오래된 사찰을 바라보시던 눈빛이 아직도 가끔 기억난다.
주름 가득했지만, 인자한 미소와 자기성찰의 시간이 가득한 평안한 눈빛에 나도 편안해지고…
노년의 내모습도 처음으로 궁금해졌네.

The old woman who came from Australia, the calendar she sent with a handwritten note..
A brief encounter, but I still sometimes recall the sparkle of her eyes gazing upon the old temples.
Full of wrinkles, but in her kind smile and relaxed eyes full of the time of self-reflection made me feel relaxed, too…
As if wondering at the form of my own old age for the first time.

Fb_html_m69d62080

Caveat: Jepi San Guivin

América

I.

Although Tía Miriam boasted she discovered
at least half-a-dozen uses for peanut butter–
topping for guava shells in syrup,
butter substitute for Cuban toast,
hair conditioner and relaxer–
Mamà never knew what to make
of the monthly five-pound jars
handed out by the immigration department
until my friend, Jeff, mentioned jelly.

II.

There was always pork though,
for every birthday and wedding,
whole ones on Christmas and New Year’s Eves,
even on Thanksgiving Day–pork,
fried, broiled or crispy skin roasted–
as well as cauldrons of black beans,
fried plantain chips and yuca con mojito.
These items required a special visit
to Antonio’s Mercado on the corner of 8th street
where men in guayaberas stood in senate
blaming Kennedy for everything–”Ese hijo de puta!”
the bile of Cuban coffee and cigar residue
filling the creases of their wrinkled lips;
clinging to one another’s lies of lost wealth,
ashamed and empty as hollow trees.

III.

By seven I had grown suspicious–we were still here.
Overheard conversations about returning
had grown wistful and less frequent.
I spoke English; my parents didn’t.
We didn’t live in a two story house
with a maid or a wood panel station wagon
nor vacation camping in Colorado.
None of the girls had hair of gold;
none of my brothers or cousins
were named Greg, Peter, or Marsha;
we were not the Brady Bunch.
None of the black and white characters
on Donna Reed or on Dick Van Dyke Show
were named Guadalupe, Lázaro, or Mercedes.
Patty Duke’s family wasn’t like us either–
they didn’t have pork on Thanksgiving,
they ate turkey with cranberry sauce;
they didn’t have yuca, they had yams
like the dittos of Pilgrims I colored in class.

IV.

A week before Thanksgiving
I explained to my abuelita
about the Indians and the Mayflower,
how Lincoln set the slaves free;
I explained to my parents about
the purple mountain’s majesty,
“one if by land, two if by sea”
the cherry tree, the tea party,
the amber waves of grain,
the “masses yearning to be free”
liberty and justice for all, until
finally they agreed:
this Thanksgiving we would have turkey,
as well as pork.

V.

Abuelita prepared the poor fowl
as if committing an act of treason,
faking her enthusiasm for my sake.
Mamà set a frozen pumpkin pie in the oven
and prepared candied yams following instructions
I translated from the marshmallow bag.
The table was arrayed with gladiolus,
the plattered turkey loomed at the center
on plastic silver from Woolworths.
Everyone sat in green velvet chairs
we had upholstered with clear vinyl,
except Tío Carlos and Toti, seated
in the folding chairs from the Salvation Army.
I uttered a bilingual blessing
and the turkey was passed around
like a game of Russian Roulette.
“DRY”, Tío Berto complained, and proceeded
to drown the lean slices with pork fat drippings
and cranberry jelly–”esa mierda roja,” he called it.
Faces fell when Mamá presented her ochre pie–
pumpkin was a home remedy for ulcers, not a dessert.
Tía María made three rounds of Cuban coffee
then abuelo and Pepe cleared the living room furniture,
put on a Celia Cruz LP and the entire family
began to merengue over the linoleum of our apartment,
sweating rum and coffee until they remembered–
it was 1970 and 46 degrees–
in América.
After repositioning the furniture,
an appropriate darkness filled the room.
Tío Berto was the last to leave.

Richard Blanco

I like this poem much better than the blandly abominable poem Blanco wrote for Obama's second inaugural.


What I'm listening to right now.

Celia Cruz, "Oye Como Va."

Thanksgiving-turkey-cartoon

[daily log: walking 5 km]

Caveat: el tema de la lluvia

Llueve
sobre la arena, sobre el techo
el tema
de la lluvia:
las largas eles de la lluvia lenta
caen sobre las páginas
de mi amor sempiterno,
la sal de cada día:
regresa lluvia a tu nido anterior,
vuelve con tus agujas al pasado:
hoy quiero el espacio blanco,
el tiempo de papel para una rama
de rosal verde y de rosas doradas:
algo de la infinita primavera
que hoy esperaba, con el cielo abierto
y el papel esperaba,
cuando volvió la lluvia
a tocar tristemente
la ventana,
luego a bailar con furia desmedida
sobre mi corazón y sobre el techo,
reclamando
su sitio,
pidiéndome una copa
para llenarla una vez más de agujas,
de tiempo transparente,
de lágrimas.
– Pablo Neruda

Caveat: this revolver’s breath

OK, I had a rather unpleasant epiphany the other day: what if I need to take my doctor's [broken link! FIXME] remarks of a month ago – that it may be 3 to 5 years for things to get back to normal – more seriously? What if, in fact, that's how long he meant even for me to be able to eat normally? That this frustrating, unpleasant eating experience is, in fact, a new normal? Maybe I should shop for some of those disgusting protein shakes that manic dieters consume, and be done with "eating" as a habit altogether. Or something.


What I'm listening to right now.

MC 900 Ft Jesus, "But If You Go."

Lyrics:

remember on the day we met
you asked me for a cigarette
distracted, i acted without thought
and ignored you
and then you got upset
and left me there without a word
but not alone
for now a third would rule the room that afternoon
the loudest silence ever heard
my best imaginary friend
he and i made excellent bookends
brothers, not to others tied
but each the shadow of his twin
and me, i knew myself so well
a scarecrow on a carousel
a spinning world just out of reach
a blur, i saw but couldnt tell you how i found myself alone
i crossed a bridge on my way home
and threw my soul into the depths, for you

but if you go
away from me
our house will fall
on us both you see
and then we'll share
this revolver's breath
tomorrow finds us together in death

but if you go
away from me
our house will fall
on us both you see
and then we'll share
this revolver's breath
tomorrow finds us together in death

my love for you is like a rose
that follows where the sunset goes
and finding velvet fields of stars
its petals so that it shows
my heart there for all to look
a beating page torn from a book
and cradled in its bed red bloom
offered to the one who took it from me
hope to hear you say its yours
forever and a day
or longer
love gets stronger
till it burns the space between away
this flower holds the key to me
its secrets guarded jealousy
but opens up in trusting not betrayed

but if you go
away from me
our house will fall
on us both you see
and then we'll share
this revolver's breath
tomorrow finds us together in death

Caveat: invaluable treasure

Studying texts and stiff meditation can make you lose your Original Mind.
A solitary tune by a fisherman, though, can be an invaluable treasure.
Dusk rain on the river, the moon peeking in and out of the clouds;
Elegant beyond words, he chants his songs night after night.
– Ikkyu (Japanese Buddhist monk and poet, 1394-1481)

[daily log: walking, 4.5 km]

Caveat: Hay que saltar del corazón al mundo

Contacto externo

Mis ojos de plaza pública
Mis ojos de silencio y de desierto
El dulce tumulto interno
La soledad que se despierta
Cuando el perfume se separa de las flores y emprende el viaje
Y el río del alma largo largo
Que no dice más ni tiempo ni espacio

Un día vendrá ha venido ya
La selva forma una sustancia prodigiosa
La luna tose
El mar desciende de su coche
Un jour viendra est déjà venu
Y Yo no digo más ni primavera ni invierno

Hay que saltar del corazón al mundo
Hay que construir un poco de infinito para el hombre

– Vicente Huidobro (poeta chileno, 1893-1948)

Caveat: the aim and the end

Being But Men

Being but men, we walked into the trees
Afraid, letting our syllables be soft
For fear of waking the rooks,
For fear of coming
Noiselessly into a world of wings and cries.

If we were children we might climb,
Catch the rooks sleeping, and break no twig,
And, after the soft ascent,
Thrust out our heads above the branches
To wonder at the unfailing stars.

Out of confusion, as the way is,
And the wonder, that man knows,
Out of the chaos would come bliss.

That, then, is loveliness, we said,
Children in wonder watching the stars,
Is the aim and the end.

Being but men, we walked into the trees.
– Dylan Thomas

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: es enemigo amor de la mudanza

Cervates_jauregui
Mar sesgo, viento largo, estrella clara,

camino, aunque no usado, alegre y cierto,
al hermoso, al seguro, al capaz puerto
llevan la nave vuestra, única y rara.
En Scilas ni en Caribdis no repara,
ni en peligro que el mar tenga encubierto,
siguiendo su derrota al descubierto,
que limpia honestidad su curso para.
Con todo, si os faltare la esperanza
de llegar a este puerto, no por eso
gireis las velas, que será simpleza.
Que es enemigo amor de la mudanza,
y nunca tuvo próspero suceso
el que no se quilata en la firmeza.
– Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616).

 


170px-Los_trabajos_de_Persiles_y_Sigismunda_(1617)El soneto aparece en su novela Los Trabajos de Persiles y Sigismunda, en el cap. 9 de la primera parte, atribuido al personaje de Manuel de Sosa Coitiño, el llamado "enamorado portugués." Es fácil olvidar que el novelista Cervantes también escribió mucha poesía de calidad notable – porque siempre aparece en sus novelas y cuentos atribuida a sus personajes fictícios.

Caveat: bring bonnie dreams

Auld Daddy Darkness creeps frae his hole,
Black as a blackamoor, blin' as a mole:
Stir the fire till it lowes, let the bairnie sit,
Auld Daddy Darkness is no wantit yit.

See him in the corners hidin' frae the licht,
See him at the window gloomin' at the nicht;
Turn up the gas licht, close the shutters a',
An' Auld Daddy Darkness will flee far awa'.

Awa' to hide the birdie within its cosy nest,
Awa' to lap the wee flooers on their mither's breast,
Awa' to loosen Gaffer Toil frae his daily ca',
For Auld Daddy Darkness is kindly to a'.

He comes when we're weary to wean's frae oor waes,
He comes when the bairnies are getting aff their claes;
To cover them sae cosy, an' bring bonnie dreams,
So Auld Daddy Darkness is better than he seems.

Steek yer een, my wee tot, ye'll see Daddy then;
He's in below the bed claes, to cuddle ye he's fain;
Noo nestle to his bosie, sleep and dream yer fill,
Till Wee Davie Daylicht comes keekin' owre the hill.
– James Farguson

This Scots English Halloween poem is so densely Scots that it's pretty hard for me to understand. But it seems appropriate on Halloweeneen.

Caveat: lenguas de légamo


Pm-23976-largeEl ángel de la ira

Sin dueño, entre las ortigas,
Piedra por pulir, brillabas.
Pie invisible.
Entre las ortigas, nada.
Pie invisible de la ira.
Lenguas de légamo, hundidas,
Sordas, recordaron algo.
Ya no estabas.
¿Qué recordaron?
Se movió mudo el silencio
Y dijo algo.
No dijo nada.
Sin saberlo,
Mudó de rumbo mi sangre,
Y en los fosos
Gritos largos se cayeron.
Para salvar mis ojos,
Para salvarte a ti, qué
Secreto.

– Rafael Alberti (poeta y pintor español, 1902-1999)


Por alguna razón salió de mi conciencia, al despertar, el nombre del poeta Alberti. Me hizo recordar el año 96, cuando en la universidad de Penn estudiaba con el profesor López, a quien si bien me recuerdo le gustaba citar a Alberti. Poeta difícil para mí, siempre lleno de aire y caballos y mar.

Alberti también hacía artes visuales, por ejemplo el dibujo arriba.

Caveat: Like ant


Kim_SowolMan Lives Until He Dies

How often do I ponder
Over what I live for?
Innocent of life as it were.
Though the stream
Empties into the ocean
I will not bend
Under the weight of
Workday cares.
Man lives and dies.
Yet I pause to think.
Like ant
Lost in building its shelter
In the warm spring sun,
I will live
Drunk with delight of living.
If man is born to live,
What should I worry?
Man lives till he dies.

– Kim Sowol [김소월] (1902-1934)
  translated by Jaihiun Joyce Kim (from A Lamp Burns Low)

I rather liked this poem, that I ran across in translation here. I was very frustrated because I spent almost two hours trying to find the original Korean text for this poem through various strategies of googlings, so as to be able to include it and try to read it, but I utterly failed. If any of my Korean-speaking friends who sometimes look at my blog would happen to recognize this poem and point me to the original text, I'd be grateful and interested. I will update this blog post if I run across the Korean text later.

[Update: my friend Christine almost immediately recognized this poem and gave me a link to the original. She said they read it in middle school.

사노라면 사람은 죽는 것을

하루라도 몇 번(番)씩 내 생각은
내가 무엇하려고 살려는지?
모르고 살았노라, 그럴 말로
그러나 흐르는 저 냇물이
흘러가서 바다로 든댈진댄.
일로조차 그러면, 이 내 몸은
애쓴다고는 말부터 잊으리라.
사노라면 사람은 죽는 것을
그러나, 다시 내 몸,
봄빛의 불붙는 사태흙에
집 짓는 저 개아미
나도 살려 하노라, 그와 같이
사는 날 그날까지
살음에 즐거워서,
사는 것이 사람의 본뜻이면
오오 그러면 내 몸에는
다시는 애쓸 일도 더 없어라
사노라면 사람은 죽는 것을.

– 김소월

Caveat: on the shore of the wide world

When I have fears that I may cease to be 
  Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain, 
Before high piled books, in charact’ry, 
  Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain; 
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face, 
  Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance, 
And think that I may never live to trace 
  Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance; 
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour! 
  That I shall never look upon thee more, 
Never have relish in the faery power 
  Of unreflecting love!—then on the shore 
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think 
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

– John Keats   

Caveat: Heaven having no part


220px-Herman_MelvilleGold in the Mountain

Gold in the mountain,
And gold in the glen,
And greed in the heart,
Heaven having no part,
And unsatisfied men.
– Herman Melville (American writer, 1819-1891)

Caveat: Time will say nothing

If I could tell you

Time will say nothing but I told you so,
Time only knows the price we have to pay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

If we should weep when clowns put on their show,
If we should stumble when musicians play,
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

There are no fortunes to be told, although,
Because I love you more than I can say,
If I could tell you I would let you know.

The winds must come from somewhere when they blow,
There must be reasons why the leaves decay;
Time will say nothing but I told you so.

Perhaps the roses really want to grow,
The vision seriously intends to stay;
If I could tell you I would let you know.

Suppose the lions all get up and go,
And all the brooks and soldiers run away;
Will Time say nothing but I told you so?
If I could tell you I would let you know.

– W. H. Auden (1907 – 1973)

Caveat: 포기할 수 없는 이유

The Seoul subway sometimes has these poems posted in various spots, in places where you might also see advertising. I saw this poem and I admit it struck me because it was offered with an English translation – otherwise I would have probably disregarded it.
Below is the poem, and the translation provided.

포기할 수 없는 이유

뒤처졌다고 분노하거나 좌절해서는 안 됩니다.
앞서 가는 자의 뒷모습도 소중한 교훈입니다.
포기하지 않는 당신도 누군가의 길이 될 것입니다.
– 이원준 (시인 / 소설가)

The Reason Not to Give Up

You should not be angry or frustrated even if you are falling behind.
The person walking ahead is also a valuable lesson.
You who do not give up will also be a way for someone.
– Lee, Won-jun (poet / novelist); translated by Kim, Sun-ae
picture


What I’m listening to right now.

Kaija Saaraho, “Sept Papillons pour violoncelle.”

CaveatDumpTruck Logo

Caveat: un silencio o memoria

pictureEN EL FONDO DEL POZO
    (El Enterrado)

Allá en el fondo del pozo donde las florecillas
donde las lindas margaritas no vacilan
donde no hay viento o perfume de hombre
donde jamás el mar impone su amenaza
allí allí está quedo ese silencio
hecho como un rumor ahogado con un puño
Si una abeja si un ave voladora
si ese error que no se espera nunca
se produce
el frío permanece
El sueño en vertical hundió la tierra
y ya el aire está libre
Acaso una voz una mano ya suelta
un impulso hacia arriba aspira a luna
a calma a tibieza a ese veneno
de una almohada en la boca que se ahoga
¡Pero dormir es tan sereno siempre!
Sobre el frío sobre el hielo sobre una sombra de mejilla
sobre una palabra yerta y más ya ida
sobre la misma tierra siempre virgen
Una tabla en el fondo oh pozo innúmero
esa lisura ilustre que comprueba
que una espalda es contacto es frío seco
es sueño siempre aunque la frente esté borrada
Pueden pasar ya nubes Nadie sabe
Ese clamor ¿Existen las campanas?
Recuerdo que el color blanco o las formas
recuerdo que los labios, sí, hasta hablaban
Era el tiempo caliente. Luz inmólame
Era entonces cuando el relámpago de pronto
quedaba suspendido hecho de hierro
Tiempo de los suspiros o de adórame
cuando nunca las aves perdían plumas
Tiempo de suavidad y permanencia
Los galopes no daban sobre el pecho
no quedaban los cascos, no eran cera
Las lágrimas rodaban como besos
Y en el oído el eco era ya sólido
Así la eternidad era el minuto
El tiempo sólo una tremenda mano
sobre el cabello largo detenida
Oh sí. En este hondo silencio o humedades
bajo las siete capas de cielo azul yo ignoro
la música cuajada en hielo súbito
la garganta que se derrumba sobre los ojos
la íntima onda que se anega sobre los labios
Dormido como una tela
siento crecer la hierba verde suave
que inútilmente aguarda ser curvado
Una mano de acero sobre el césped
un corazón un juguete olvidado
un resorte una lima un beso un vidrio
Una flor de cristal que así impasible
chupa de tierra un silencio o memoria.

– Vicente Aleixandre (poeta epsañol, 1898-1984)

[daily log: walking, 7 km]

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Caveat: A mob of cobblers

Dreams

Dreams are but interludes which Fancy makes;
When monarch Reason sleeps, this mimic wakes:
Compounds a medley of disjointed things,
A mob of cobblers, and a court of kings:
Light fumes are merry, grosser fumes are sad;
Both are the reasonable soul run mad;
And many monstrous forms in sleep we see,
That neither were, nor are, nor e'er can be.
Sometimes forgotten things long cast behind
Rush forward in the brain, and come to mind.
The nurse's legends are for truths received,
And the man dreams but what the boy believed.
Sometimes we but rehearse a former play,
The night restores our actions done by day;
As hounds in sleep will open for their prey.
In short, the farce of dreams is of a piece,
Chimeras all; and more absurd, or less.

– John Dryden (English poet, 1631-1700)



I went to my treatment session, this morning, and took an extra pain pill afterward – that's the first time I've doubled down like that, although the doctor had said I could. It left me feeling disjointed and outside of time, and I zombified in front of my computer playing a game.

I somewhat recovered, after Wendy reminded me the time, and so we went over to the hospital again to meet Dr Ryu, but the visit was fairly perfunctory. He didn't seem to find anything unexpected, and I kept my optimism.

We walked over to my work and I introduced Wendy to my coworkers, but I didn't stay long. Finally, we walked back home.


What I'm listening to right now.



The Tallest Man on Earth, "1904."

[daily log: walking, 7 km]

Caveat: sobre los silos de Ítaca

Llegar a ese punto difuso

"Los dioses saben lo venidero, los hombres lo acontecido,
y los sabios lo que se cierne." – Filóstrato

Llegar a ese punto difuso donde poder
tomar distancia sobre uno mismo
observando al sustentador incardinado
transitando encrucijadas de meandros…
Ser receptor de las vibraciones de lo que se cierne.

Recibir el misterioso zumbido y trasladarlo
al depositario de mi inherente legado
para que cuide mis emociones y pasos
eligiendo el curso adecuado
para el devenir de mis futuros años.

Que al dejar mi incorpóreo estado
ya surcando el longevo camino deseado
la despensa de mi galera se colme
de los más nutritivos conocimientos
afluentes de gozo y tersura para mi espíritu.

En esos parajes de acontecimientos
hallar lo hermoso, lo noble, lo magnífico
saborearlo sin premura, tomándome mi tiempo,
y al llegar a puerto se elevasen las riquezas
que mi alma ansía sobre los silos de Ítaca.

– Francisco Jesús Muñoz Soler (poeta español)

Caveat: impossible crows

Blue Octavo Haiku

    after Kafka

In fat armchairs sat
indolence and impatience,
plotting my downfall

    –

A wicked cage flew
across the long horizon
searching for a bird.

    –

I burned with love in
empty rooms, I sternly turned
knives within myself.

    –

"Behold the bright gate,"
the keeper said. "I am now
going to shut it."

    –

Hardly was the road
swept clean when ah! there appeared
new piles of dry leaves.

    –

But nothing could kill
a faith like a guillotine,
as heavy, as light.

    –

Happiness? Finding
your indestructible core;
leaving it alone.

    –

Into the heavens
flew a breathless legion of
impossible crows.

– Rachel Wetzsteon (1967-2009)


[daily log: walking, 2 km]

Caveat: Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.

pictureThe worm drives helically through the wood
And does not know the dust left in the bore
Once made the table integral and good;
And suddenly the crystal hits the floor.
Electrons find their paths in subtle ways,
A massless eddy in a trail of smoke;
The names of lovers, light of other days —
Perhaps you will not miss them. That’s the joke.
The universe winds down. That’s how it’s made.
But memory is everything to lose;
Although some of the colors have to fade,
Do not believe you’ll get the chance to choose.
Regret, by definition, comes too late;
Say what you mean. Bear witness. Iterate.

– John M. Ford (1957-2006)


I got a painkiller upgrade today.

That was a necessary and a good thingzzzzz z zz  zz z   z   z      z          z

What I’m listening to right now.



Informatik, “It Was Like I Was Dreaming.”

[daily log: walking, 4.5 km]

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Caveat: A Process in the Weather of the Heart

A process in the weather of the heart
Turns damp to dry; the golden shot
Storms in the freezing tomb.
A weather in the quarter of the veins
Turns night to day; blood in their suns
Lights up the living worm.

A process in the eye forwarns
The bones of blindness; and the womb
Drives in a death as life leaks out.

A darkness in the weather of the eye
Is half its light; the fathomed sea
Breaks on unangled land.
The seed that makes a forest of the loin
Forks half its fruit; and half drops down,
Slow in a sleeping wind.

A weather in the flesh and bone
Is damp and dry; the quick and dead
Move like two ghosts before the eye.

A process in the weather of the world
Turns ghost to ghost; each mothered child
Sits in their double shade.
A process blows the moon into the sun,
Pulls down the shabby curtains of the skin;
And the heart gives up its dead.
– Dylan Thomas

[daily log: walking 4.5 km]

Caveat: no soy piedra, sino camino

picture
Unos cuerpos son como flores,
otros como puñales,
otros como cintas de agua;
pero todos, temprano o tarde,
serán quemaduras que en otro cuerpo se agranden,
convirtiendo por virtud del fuego a una piedra en un
hombre.

Pero el hombre se agita en todas direcciones,
sueña con libertades, compite con el viento,
hasta que un día la quemadura se borra,
volviendo a ser piedra en el camino de nadie.

Yo, que no soy piedra, sino camino
que cruzan al pasar los pies desnudos,
muero de amor por todos ellos;
les doy mi cuerpo para que lo pisen,
aunque les lleve a una ambición o a una nube,
sin que ninguno comprenda
que ambiciones o nubes
no valen un amor que se entrega.

- Luis Cernuda (poeta español, 1902-1963)

… no tengo nada que decir. estoy cansado… enfermo.

mi momento urge paciencia.

[daily log: walking, 4.5 km]

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Caveat: and the half-true rhyme is love

Now it’s high watermark
and floodtide in the heart
and time to go.
The sea-nymphs in the spray
will be the chorus now.
What’s left to say?

Suspect too much sweet-talk
but never close your mind.
It was a fortunate wind
that blew me here. I leave
half-ready to believe
that a crippled trust might walk

and the half-true rhyme is love.

– Seamus Heaney, poem fragment from The Cure at Troy: A Version of Sophocles' Philoctetes


What I'm listening to right now.



Nerve Filter, "Beneath a Bed of Wet Leaves."

Caveat: Each body is in its bunker

August 17th

Surely I will be disquieted
by the hospital, that body zone-
bodies wrapped in elastic bands,
bodies cased in wood or used like telephones,
bodies crucified up onto their crutches,
bodies wearing rubber bags between their legs,
bodies vomiting up their juice like detergent, Here in this house
there are other bodies.
Whenever I see a six-year-old
swimming in our aqua pool
a voice inside me says what can’t be told…
Ha, someday you’ll be old and withered
and tubes will be in your nose
drinking up your dinner.
Someday you’ll go backward. You’ll close
up like a shoebox and you’ll be cursed
as you push into death feet first.

Here in the hospital, I say,
that is not my body, not my body.
I am not here for the doctors
to read like a recipe.
No. I am a daisy girl
blowing in the wind like a piece of sun.
On ward 7 there are daisies, all butter and pearl
but beside a blind man who can only
eat up the petals and count to ten.
The nurses skip rope around him and shiver
as his eyes wiggle like mercury and then
they dance from patient to patient to patient
throwing up little paper medicine cups and playing
catch with vials of dope as they wait for new accidents.
Bodies made of synthetics. Bodies swaddled like dolls
whom I visit and cajole and all they do is hum
like computers doing up our taxes, dollar by dollar.
Each body is in its bunker. The surgeon applies his gum.
Each body is fitted quickly into its ice-cream pack
and then stitched up again for the long voyage
back.

– Anne Sexton (1928-1974)

picture

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Caveat: to set the darkness echoing

Personal Helicon

As a child, they could not keep me from wells
And old pumps with buckets and windlasses.
I loved the dark drop, the trapped sky, the smells
Of waterweed, fungus and dank moss.

One, in a brickyard, with a rotted board top.
I savoured the rich crash when a bucket
Plummeted down at the end of a rope.
So deep you saw no reflection in it.

A shallow one under a dry stone ditch
Fructified like any aquarium.
When you dragged out long roots from the soft mulch
A white face hovered over the bottom.

Others had echoes, gave back your own call
With a clean new music in it. And one
Was scaresome, for there, out of ferns and tall
Foxgloves, a rat slapped across my reflection.

Now, to pry into roots, to finger slime,
To stare, big-eyed Narcissus, into some spring
Is beneath all adult dignity. I rhyme
To see myself, to set the darkness echoing.

– Seamus Heaney (1939-2013 – he died today, a few hours ago)

Caveat: locos pretextos bulliendo

pictureVentana

Un trozo de azul tiene mayor
intensidad que todo el cielo,
yo siento que allí vive, a flor
del éxtasis feliz, mi anhelo.

Un viento de espíritus pasa
muy lejos, desde mi ventana,
dando un aire en que despedaza
su carne una angélical diana.

Y en la alegría de los Gestos,
ebrios de azur, que se derraman…
siento bullir locos pretextos,
que estando aquí !de allá me llaman!
– Alfonso Cortes (poeta nicaragüense, 1893-1969)

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Caveat: over the boulders at night


pictureHow Poetry Comes to Me

It comes blundering over the
Boulders at night, it stays
Frightened outside the
Range of my campfire
I go to meet it at the
Edge of the light
– Gary Snyder   (American poet, b 1930)

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Caveat: the rift of unremembered skies and snows

Clown in the Moon

My tears are like the quiet drift
Of petals from some magic rose;
And all my grief flows from the rift
Of unremembered skies and snows.

I think, that if I touched the earth,
It would crumble;
It is so sad and beautiful,
So tremulously like a dream.
– Dylan Thomas (Welsh poet, 1914-1953)

Dylan Thomas has evolved to become one of my “top 10 poets” – I find myself constantly seeking him out. Maybe sometime I should try to make that list of “most sought out poets.” I also should get around to making a separate category for quoted poetry on this blog – I seem to do it pretty often and it clearly needs its own separate category.

Below, a painting entitled “Dylan Thomas 4” by Welsh artist Peter Ross.

painting titled Dylan Thomas 4 by Welsh artist Peter Ross

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Caveat: You’ll have to find your own pictures

Table in the Wilderness

I draw a window
and a man sitting inside it.

I draw a bird in flight above the lintel.

That's my picture of thinking.

If I put a woman there instead
of the man, it's a picture of speaking.

If I draw a second bird
in the woman's lap, it's ministering.

A third flying below her feet.
Now it's singing.

Or erase the birds,
make ivy branching
around the woman's ankles, clinging
to her knees, and it becomes remembering.

You'll have to find your own
pictures, whoever you are,
whatever your need.

Li-young-Lee

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