No explanation really necessary. See this interesting story, below.
Gabrielle de Vietri, “Captcha.”
No explanation really necessary. See this interesting story, below.
Gabrielle de Vietri, “Captcha.”
Music and experience become intertwined. This is the principle of one´s life having a "soundtrack."
22 years ago, on a late January day, I finished reading the last chapter of Gabriel García Márquez´s Cien años de soledad. I was living in St. Paul, Minnesota, and it was bleak and white and snowy outside. I was listening to Peter Gabriel´s So album, and the song "Mercy Street" was playing as I read the last paragraphs of the novel. As a consequence, whenever I hear that song, even these many, many years later, I am thrust back into the dissolution of the world at the end of that novel, despite the fact that the song and novel bear only a distant thematic relation – perhaps something on the axis of dreaming and perception and subjectivity.
What I´m listening to right now.
Peter Gabriel´s "Mercy Street," in point of fact, is dedicated to the poet Anne Sexton, and treats some aspects of her biography. Here are the lyrics.
looking down on empty streets, all she can see
are the dreams all made solid
are the dreams all made real
all of the buildings, all of those cars
were once just a dream
in somebody's head
she pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
she pictures a soul
with no leak at the seam
let's take the boat out…
…wait until darkness
let's take the boat out…
…wait until darkness comes
nowhere in the corridors of pale green and grey
nowhere in the suburbs
in the cold light of day
there in the midst of it so alive and alone
words support like bone
dreaming of Mercy Street
wear your inside out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.
…swear they moved that sign
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms
pulling out the papers from the drawers that slide smooth
tugging at the darkness, word upon word
confessing all the secret things in the warm velvet box
to the priest – he's the doctor
he can handle the shocks
dreaming of the tenderness – the tremble in the hips
of kissing Mary's lips
dreaming of Mercy Street
wear your insides out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.
…swear they moved that sign
looking for mercy
in your daddy's arms
mercy, mercy, looking for mercy
mercy, mercy, looking for mercy
Anne, with her father is out in the boat
riding the water
riding the waves on the sea.
Monty Python explains, before-the-fact (by some 40-odd years), how the US elections will play out this year.
[UPDATE: The video has become unavailable. Yay internet… D’oh!]
The above hardly needs explanation. I like the Simpsons.
The below is apparently a very famous poem in Korea. I find it notable that the author was imprisoned and tortured by the dictatorship in the 1960’s.
귀천 / 천상병
나 하늘로 돌아가리라.
새벽빛 와 닿으면 스러지는
이슬 더불어 손에 손을 잡고,
나 하늘로 돌아가리라.
노을빛 함께 단 둘이서
기슭에서 놀다가 구름 손짓하면은,
나 하늘로 돌아가리라.
아름다운 이 세상 소풍 끝내는 날,
가서, 아름다웠더라고 말하리라…..Back to Heaven
by Cheon Sang-Byeong
I’ll go back to heaven again.
Hand in hand with the dew
that melts at a touch of the dawning day,
I’ll go back to heaven again.
With the dusk, together, just we two,
at a sign from a cloud after playing on the slopes
I’ll go back to heaven again.
At the end of my outing to this beautiful world
I’ll go back and say: It was beautiful. . . .
(translation by someone who goes by “Brother Anthony“)
I took the picture below in April, 2010. Somewhere near Gwangju.
I used to not really like Stephen Colbert – his pseudorightwingery was perhaps too convincing. But as his style has evolved, it’s become more tongue-in-cheek and, well… complicated. He doesn’t stay in character as well as he used to, but that adds tension to the performance, which, in my opinion, improves it.
Colbert is in such fine form, lately. Nothing he touches remains unscathed by his satirical, winking worldview. He’s almost a kind of Cervantes for the internet age. There are performances within performances, representations and lies about representations and lies, misdirections to other misdirections.
I have no idea what he intends with respect to his “explorations” regarding the presidential race – I expect he may not know, himself. Though his individual interactions are likely more scripted than they appear, I think the broader narrative is possibly at the same time less scripted than it appears. It’s a kind of improv – writ large – across the American political landscape.
Below is an excerpt from a recent show. It’s funny (with all the visual references to his recent expropriation of Herman Cain’s identity for electoral purposes), but I also happen to think it’s a genuinely sweet rendition, with James Taylor, of Taylor’s song “Carolina In My Mind.”
[UPDATE: This video is lost to the internet as far as I can figure out. Maybe for paying customers of Comedy Central (whoever owns it now), it’s findable (eg on some streaming service). Yay internet!]
I recommend watching the whole episode – there are some really great moments when Colbert is interviewing retired Supreme Court Justice Stevens, for example.
The Very Image
To Rene Magritte
An image of my grandmother
her head appearing upside-down upon a cloud
the cloud transfixed on the steeple
of a deserted railway-station
far awayAn image of an aqueduct
with a dead crow hanging from the first arch
a modern-style chair from the second
a fir-tree lodged in the third
and the whole scene sprinkled with snowAn image of a piano-tuner
with a basket of prawns on his shoulder
and a firescreen under his arm
his moustache made of clay-clotted twigs
and his cheeks daubed with wineAn image of an aeroplane
the propellor is rashers of bacon
the wings are of reinforced lard
the tail is made of paper-clips
the pilot is a waspAn image of the painter
with his left hand in a bucket
and his right hand stroking a cat
as he lies in bed
with a stone beneath his headAnd all these images
and many others
are arranged like waxworks
in model bird-cages
about six inches high.– David Gascoyne, 1936
This is in the category of surrealist poetry, so don't freak out.
TVFACI MAPU MEW MOGELEY WAGBEN
Tvfaci mapu mew mogeley wagvben
Tvfaci kajfv wenu mew vlkantuley
ta ko pu rakiduwam
Doy fvta ka mapu tañi mvlen ta komv
xipalu ko mew ka pvjv mew
pewmakeiñmu tayiñ pu fvcakece yem
Apon kvyeh fey tañi am -pigekey
Ni hegvmkvleci piwke fewvla ñvkvfvy.
– Elicura Chihuailaf N. (poeta Mapuche de Chile)
En este suelo habitan las estrellasEn este cielo canta el aguade la imaginaciónMás allá de las nubes que surgende estas aguas y estos suelosnos sueñan los antepasadosSu espíritu -dicen- es la luna llenaEl silencio su corazón que late.
Siempre me ha interesado literatura para niños. Por pura casualidad encontré este poema que me acuerdo haber visto (o algo parecido) en algún contexto hace tiempo.
La pobre jirafa
se muere de frío,
pues llegó el invierno
y no tiene abrigo,
ni tiene bufanda,
por eso se arrima
tanto al oso panda.
¡Qué suave que estás!
¡Qué calorcito me das!La mamá jirafa
llama a su vecina,
que es la oveja Fina.
¿No podrías darme
un poco de lana?
Pues te la daré…
si me da la gana.
¡Anda, Fina!
¡Por algo eres mi vecina!
Arráncame tú un mechón
pero con mucho cuidado,
no me hagas un chichón.Y ahora ¿quién podrá ayudarme
a hacer una bufanda tan grande?
Buscaré a la araña, que sabe tejer
con las manos y los pies.Y así, con ayuda
y con mucha calma,
la mamá jirafa
hizo la bufanda,
y a su hijita, con cariño,
se la regaló
y no puedes imaginarte
la alegría que le dio.¡Ay, que calorcito
que siento en mi cuello!
Y se fue a dormir
Porque le entró sueño.
– Marisol Perales
I’ve written before about how frustrated I’ve become trying to find Korean television dramas with English subtitles that I can watch on my computer. It really does help me learn Korean to watch, but I’m just not able to really get enough of what’s going on to watch without subtitles, yet.
I’ve had a couple of false starts, where I find a program and watch a few episodes, but then I can’t get the rest of the episodes with subtitles, so I’ve taken to finding shows and downloading all the episodes before watching them. What I end up finding becomes somewhat random – i.e. I’m not really watching shows because they appeal to me but rather because they’re the ones I can find.
One show I started watching recently because I’d gotten all the episodes is called “마녀유희” [ma-nyeo yu-hui = “Witch Yoo-hui” in official translation]. It’s a romantic comedy series (or really, mini-series in US parlance) from 2007. A too-young female business executive (heir to some rich family presumably) has a bad personality and this ne’er-do-well medical-school dropout (and wannabe French chef) does a pygmalion on her.
That should be enough to get the gist of the story. You can read an atrociously written summary at the wikithing. The whole connection to an actual witch-based fairy tale is tenuous at best (mostly played up in the intro to each episode). I had been hoping for something brilliantly conceived like the Hansel and Gretel meta-tale movie I liked so much a few years back.
But, so… I’ve been watching that. It’s entertaining, anyway.
Here's a book I want to read: The Atheist's Guide to Reality, by Alex Rosenberg. In a review at 3AM Magazine, Richard Marshall summarizes,
Rosenberg is a fearless naturalist, whose ‘nice nihilism’ doesn’t imply that we can become nihilists. He disturbs the comfy domestication of the naturalistic world view. Evolutionism and physics gives us a nihilist universe, purposeless, meaningless, ultimately devoid of everything we think is important. But it has constructed us as having evolutionary reflexes that grant us illusions of freewill and purpose we cannot but believe.
Even the review makes for very dense reading. I haven't been doing very well at dense reading, lately – but I hope I can find Rosenberg's book at Kyobo or somewhere like that.
I’ve been reading Wallace Stevens – one of the greatest poets, in my opinion. He has a poem called “Description Without Place” – it’s quite long – and there’s a part about Nietzsche and Lenin that fascinates me. Here is a frequently quoted part about Lenin:
Lenin on a bench beside a lake disturbed
The swans. He was not the man for swans.The slouch of his body and his look were not
In suavest keeping. The shoes, the clothes, the hatSuited the decadence of those silences,
In which he sat. All chariots were drowned. The swansMoved on the buried water where they lay.
Lenin took bread from his pocket, scattered it–The swans fled outward to remoter reaches,
As if they knew of distant beaches; and wereDissolved. The distances of space and time
Were one and swans far off were swans to come.The eye of Lenin kept the far-off shapes.
His mind raised up, down-drowned, the chariots.And reaches, beaches, tomorrow’s regions became
One thinking of apocalyptic legions.
So what are the swans? Utopian dreams? Revolution?
Proyecto Uno es un grupo musical estilo merengue-house – consta de dominicanos de Nueva York. Lo encontré en el contexto de vivir en Filadelfia en los 90. Aquella ciudad, con su gran población caribeña, tiene su propia cultura latina, distinta a la cultura mexicanizada de la gran parte de los EEUU. En general, resulta en que las radiodifusoras de la costa atlántica de los EEUU tienen un índole distinto de lo de las de la pacífica o del interior del país.
What I’m listening to right now.
Proyecto Uno, “Te dejaron flat.” La letra (encontrado en internet… he intendado algunas correcciones pero sigue una transcripción imperfecta):
Te dejaron flat
Primera noche, recibí una llamada, aha
Fue mi exnovia, sorpresa en mi cara, aha
Ella me llamó pa decirme, negrito me haces falta, aha
Yo la quiero sacar a bailar pero yo no tengo plata, a.
So whats up baby, echa pa acá y yo cocino, aha
Es una mentira, sin embargo es mi estilo, aha
Ella dijo sí, en una hora estoy ahí, aha
Me quedé esperando hasta que me dormí (you tell me)
Uh, ya tú sae, oh, te dejaron flat
Uh, embarcao, he, plantao
Say word, (word…) oh, te dejaron flat
Uh, embarcao, he, bajo ya
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Segunda noche, ella me llamó pa tras, aha
Pero como Robelto Durán, yo dije no más, aha
Ella lloró y me dijo discúlpame por favor, aha
Si vienes a casa te demostraré amor, aha.
Me tardé pero arranqué y yo llegué, aha
Pa la casa de la chama, le toque y timbré, aha
Ella contestó con una cara asustada, aha
Dijo que su novio vino sin decirle nada (damn!)
Uh, ya tú sae, oh, te dejaron flat
Uh, embarcao, he, plantao
Say word, (word…) oh te dejaron flat
Uh, ya tú sae, hey
Eo, eo, eeo, eeo, eieio, eieio
Eo, eo, eeo, eeo, eiooo, eiooo
Sigue
Think you gonna play me out this time? (this time)
Think you gonna leave me stinkin?
Think you gonna hurt me?
Think I had what you been drinkin?
Hey mami no te cruces porque no soy tu jueguito
No me llames por teléfono si tú no quieres dar
Con mala fama y yo te lo confirmo
No quiero problema, tú así conmigo
No vale la pena, ay negra, ay negra
Por qué me trata así, no me digas que me quieres
Si yo sé que tú no tienes tiempo para mí (you tell me)
Mami menéalo, mami menea, nea
Mami menéalo, mami menea, nea
Dale pa bajo baby, dale pa bajo así
Dale pa bajo baby (pick it up, pick it up, pick it up)
… con Proyecto… Uno!
Y la gente dice
Uh, ya tú sae, oh, te dejaron flat
Uh, embarcao, he, plantao
Say word, (word…) oh, te dejaron flat
Uh, embarcao, he… (break it down)
Así, así, así, así, así, así
Así, así, así
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Que lo que, que lo que sube
Que lo que, que lo que sube
El libro es fuerza, es valor
es poder, es alimento;
antorcha del pensamiento
y manantial del amor.
– Rubén Darío
Continuando mi meditación sobre libros, emprendido por el sueño de ayer.
El poseedor
No recuerdo…
(Ya no viene el cavador
que cavaba en el venero)No recuerdo…
(Sobre la mina han caído
mil siglos de suelos nuevos)No recuerdo…
(El mundo se acabará.
No volverá mi secreto)– Juan Ramón Jiménez
Yo recuerdo demasiado…. Pero al final – de repente – no se recordará.
Lo que escucho en este momento.
UNKLE, “In a State.”
Which state?
I took the photo, at top, in 1983: Kneeland, California. I scanned it in 2007. It’s not edited in any way, except the vast sky has ended up slightly cropped.
A personal Christmas tradition of mine is to listen to Dylan Thomas’ “A Child’s Christmas in Wales.” Now I can share it with everyone directly, via the miracle of the internet.
Dylan Thomas, “A Child’s Christmas In Wales.”
It’s a truly awesome piece of poetry, read in the great poet’s own fabulous Welsh accent.
I went to a movie last night after work. Curt spontaneously invited me because he wanted to see the new Mission Impossible release and no one wanted to go with him. So I went – after work means going to something starting at 11 and running very late. We went to this suburban-looking theater complex that is more like American suburbanism than almost anything you can see in Korea, out on the northwestern edge of Goyang beyond the stadium. Walking back to his car in the bitter cold, I thought, except for the Korean signage, this could pass for somewhere in exurban Connecticut – parking lots, fakey cobblestone walking areas between stores fronting on parking lots, the whole deal.
The movie itself? Meh. Honestly, the best part for me was hearing the different languages that go with the exotic locales. Lots of Russian, which is interesting because I can actually understand fragments of it having studied it all those years ago. But the plot was annoyingly obsessed with trying to replay some half-hearted cold-war plot, but minus the cold war it just reads like paranoia. The action itself is, of course, thrilling. Climbing around on the outside of Burj Dubai, crashing cars straight down 30 meters and walking away because the airbags worked. It all keeps you on the edge of your seat, of course. But the acting – not really.
Afterward, Curt said to me, "Tom Cruise got old. I remember he used to be young."
"Just like us," I joked. We laughed.
Poesía náhuatl (azteca).
Nezahualcóyotl era poeta y príncipe del estado azteca, de etnia Acolhua, del siglo 15 – murió antes de la invasión cortesiana, pero le conocemos por su poesía y las memorias de sus descendientes. Su pensamiento parece bastante espiritual.
Moyocoyatzin es un nombre (más bien un epiteto) de un “diós” o poder espiritual, que significa “el que se crea a sí mismo.”
Nezahualcóyotl
Romance de los Señores de la Nueva España
X. Ah in tepilwan: ma tiyoke timikini ti mazewaltin nawi nawi in timochi tonyazke timochi tonalkizke Owaya Owaya in tlaltikpak. XI. Ayak chalchiwitl ayak teokuitlatl mokuepaz in tlaltikpak tlatielo timochiotonyazke in canin ye yuhkan: ayak mokawaz zan zen tlapupuliwiz ti yawi ye yuhkan […] ichan Owaya Owaya. XII. Zan yahki tlakuilolli Aya ah tonpupuliwi Zan yuhki xochitl Aya in zan tonkuetlawi ya in tlaltikpak Owaya ya ketzalli ya zakuan xiuhkecholli itlakechwan tonpupuliwi tiyawi in […] ichan Owaya Owaya. XIII. Oaziko ye nikan ye ololo Ayyawe a in tlaokol Aya ye in itek on nemi ma men chkililo in kuauta ozelotl Owaya nikan zan tipopuliwizke ayak mokawaz Iyyo. XIV. Xik yokoyakan in antepilwan kuauht amozelo ma nel chalchiwitl ma nel teokuitlatl no ye ompa yazke onkan on Ximowa yewaya zan tipupuliwizke ayak mokawaz Iyyo. |
X. Percibo su secreto, oh vosotros, príncipes: De igual modo somos, somos mortales, los hombres, cuatro a cuatro, […] todos nos iremos, todos moriremos en la tierra. XI. Nadie esmeralda nadie oro se volverá ni será en la tierra algo que se guarda: todos nos iremos hacia allá igualmente: nadie quedará, todos han de desaparecer: de modo igual iremos a su casa. XII. Como una pintura nos iremos borrando. Como flor hemos de secarnos sobre la tierra. Cual ropaje de plumas del quetzal, del zacuan, del azulejo, iremos pereciendo. Iremos a su casa. XIII. Llegó hasta acá, anda ondulando la tristeza de los que viven ya en el interior de ella… No se les llore en vano a águilas y tigres… ¡Aquí iremos desapareciendo: nadie ha de quedar! XIV. Príncipes, pensadlo, oh águilas y tigres: pudiera ser jade, pudiera ser oro también allá irán donde están los descorporizados. Iremos desapareciendo: nadie ha de quedar! |
Me interesa mucho el idioma y cultura nahuatl, desde hace mucho. Ya que me he visto frustrado tanto en mis esfuerzos para aprender el coreano, he estado pasando tiempo estudiando otros idiomas (de forma no muy enfocada).
(imagen: el rey-poeta Nezahualcóyotl)
Sometimes I cook things completely off program.
Sometimes it even works out.
Yesterday I went to the foreign grocery store across the street, mostly to resupply myself with the Brazilian brand of instant coffee that I like (“Iguaçu”), and I saw a giant bottle of dill spice. It seemed too big, but it was the only size they had, and I’ve never seen dill spice before in Korea. I decided to buy it – it was only 8 bucks.
So I got home thinking, gee, I have a lifetime’s supply of dill spice, what should I make? The main thing I have used dill spice for, in the past, is borsht – but I still haven’t found any beets (admittedly I haven’t looked that hard).
I had some nice tomatoes, and I had my pea soup. What could I make? I made fried tomatoes, with a breading that included corn flour, dill spice, nutmeg, black pepper. I literally invented the recipe from my crazy imagination – I had no plan or idea beforehand. Then I ate them with my pea soup and some toast. They were delicious.
What I’m listening to right now.
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, “Buy for me the rain.”
The video is very interesting – it’s a cheesy anti-war-themed music video from the 1960’s! I didn’t even know such a thing existed until I found it when finding a youtube of the song [UPDATE: old video link rotted, new video link is just the soundtrack – so the video is lost].
I grew up with this music – it’s very nostalgic, for me. Here are the lyrics.
Buy for me the rain, my darling, buy for me the rain;
Buy for me the crystal pools that fall upon the plain.
And I’ll buy for you a rainbow and a million pots of gold.
Buy it for me now, babe, before I am too old.Buy for me the sun, my darling, buy for me the sun;
Buy for me the light that falls when day has just begun.
And I’ll buy for you a shadow to protect you from the day.
Buy it for me now, babe, before I go away.Buy for me the robin, darling, buy for me the wing;
Buy for me a sparrow, almost any flying thing.
And I’ll buy for you a tree, my love, where a robin’s nest may grow.
Buy it for me now, babe, the years all hurry so.I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot buy you years;
I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they’re no use to the dead.
Me contaron
Me contaron que estabas enamorada de otro
y entonces me fui a mi cuarto
y escribí este artículo contra el Gobierno
por el que estoy preso.– Ernesto Cardenal
Me hace pensar, vagamente, en los recientes acontecimientos en el mundo árabe, entre otras cosas.
Below, from Bertolt Brecht's Hollywood Elegies. I particularly like the characterization of heaven, at the start. Who needs heaven and hell? You can make just one place, that's really nice for some of the people to be in, and horrible for the other people.
I
The village of Hollywood was planned according to the notion
People in these parts have of heaven. In these parts
They have come to the conclusion that God
Requiring a heaven and a hell, didn’t need to
Plan two establishments but
Just the one: heaven. It
Serves the unprosperous, unsuccessful
As hell.II
By the sea stand the oil derricks. Up the canyons
The gold prospectors’ bones lie bleaching. Their sons
Built the dream factories of Hollywood.
The four cities
Are filled with the oily smell
Of films.III
The city is named after the angels
And you meet angels on every hand
They smell of oil and wear golden pessaries
And, with blue rings round their eyes
Feed the writers in their swimming pools every morning.IV
Beneath the green pepper trees
The musicians play the whore, two by two
With the writers. Bach
Has written a Strumpet Voluntary. Dante wriggles
His shrivelled bottom.V
The angels of Los Angeles
Are tired out with smiling. Desperately
Behind the fruit stalls of an evening
They buy little bottles
Containing sex odours.VI
Above the four cities the fighter planes
Of the Defense Department circle at a great height
So that the stink of greed and poverty
Shall not reach them
Hat tip, for the above, to Frederic Jameson, who cited this Brecht in his chapter on Utopia in his Valences of the Dialectic, which I am currently attempting (but mostly failing) to read. Also, as an erstwhile Angeleno of the ambivalent, love-hatey variety, I appreciate the dark vision of the place.
Uno de mis cuentos literarios favoritos es el “Es que somos pobres” del mexicano Juan Rulfo. No puedo explicar porque me parece tan buen cuento. No es el cuento en que se fijan los críticos. Lo más notable, por supuesto, es la novela rulfiana, Pedro Páramo – también muy importante en mi mitología personal. Pero no puedo pensar en Rulfo sin recordar este cuento tan breve, tan sencillo, tan distinto de Pedro Páramo en tono y voz.
No estoy seguro de su copyright status, pero me atrevo reproducirlo aquí porque es tan breve – y porque el texto ya es tan fácil encontrar en el web.
Es que somos muy pobres
por Juan Rulfo
Aquí todo va de mal en peor. La semana pasada se murió mi tía Jacinta, y el sábado, cuando ya la habíamos enterrado y comenzaba a bajársenos la tristeza, comenzó a llover como nunca. A mi papá eso le dio coraje, porque toda la cosecha de cebada estaba asoleándose en el solar. Y el aguacero llegó de repente, en grandes olas de agua, sin darnos tiempo ni siquiera a esconder aunque fuera un manojo; lo único que pudimos hacer, todos los de mi casa, fue estarnos arrimados debajo del tejaván, viendo cómo el agua fría que caía del cielo quemaba aquella cebada amarilla tan recién cortada.
Y apenas ayer, cuando mi hermana Tacha acababa de cumplir doce años, supimos que la vaca que mi papá le regaló para el día de su santo se la había llevado el río.
El río comenzó a crecer hace tres noches, a eso de la madrugada. Yo estaba muy dormido y, sin embargo, el estruendo que traía el río al arrastrarse me hizo despertar en seguida y pegar el brinco de la cama con mi cobija en la mano, como si hubiera creído que se estaba derrumbando el techo de mi casa. Pero después me volví a dormir, porque reconocí el sonido del río y porque ese sonido se fue haciendo igual hasta traerme otra vez el sueño.
Cuando me levanté, la mañana estaba llena de nublazones y parecía que había seguido lloviendo sin parar. Se notaba en que el ruido del río era más fuerte y se oía más cerca. Se olía, como se huele una quemazón, el olor a podrido del agua revuelta.
A la hora en que me fui a asomar, el río ya había perdido sus orillas. Iba subiendo poco a poco por la calle real, y estaba metiéndose a toda prisa en la casa de esa mujer que le dicen la Tambora. El chapaleo del agua se oía al entrar por el corral y al salir en grandes chorros por la puerta. La Tambora iba y venía caminando por lo que era ya un pedazo de río, echando a la calle sus gallinas para que se fueran a esconder a algún lugar donde no les llegara la corriente.
Y por el otro lado, por donde está el recodo, el río se debía de haber llevado, quién sabe desde cuándo, el tamarindo que estaba en el solar de mi tía Jacinta, porque ahora ya no se ve ningún tamarindo. Era el único que había en el pueblo, y por eso nomás la gente se da cuenta de que la creciente esta que vemos es la más grande de todas las que ha bajado el río en muchos años.
Mi hermana y yo volvimos a ir por la tarde a mirar aquel amontonadero de agua que cada vez se hace más espesa y oscura y que pasa ya muy por encima de donde debe estar el puente. Allí nos estuvimos horas y horas sin cansarnos viendo la cosa aquella. Después nos subimos por la barranca, porque queríamos oír bien lo que decía la gente, pues abajo, junto al río, hay un gran ruidazal y sólo se ven las bocas de muchos que se abren y se cierran y como que quieren decir algo; pero no se oye nada. Por eso nos subimos por la barranca, donde también hay gente mirando el río y contando los perjuicios que ha hecho. Allí fue donde supimos que el río se había llevado a la Serpentina la vaca esa que era de mi hermana Tacha porque mi papá se la regaló para el día de su cumpleaños y que tenía una oreja blanca y otra colorada y muy bonitos ojos.
No acabo de saber por qué se le ocurriría a La Serpentina pasar el río este, cuando sabía que no era el mismo río que ella conocía de a diario. La Serpentina nunca fue tan atarantada. Lo más seguro es que ha de haber venido dormida para dejarse matar así nomás por nomás. A mí muchas veces me tocó despertarla cuando le abría la puerta del corral porque si no, de su cuenta, allí se hubiera estado el día entero con los ojos cerrados, bien quieta y suspirando, como se oye suspirar a las vacas cuando duermen.
Y aquí ha de haber sucedido eso de que se durmió. Tal vez se le ocurrió despertar al sentir que el agua pesada le golpeaba las costillas. Tal vez entonces se asustó y trató de regresar; pero al volverse se encontró entreverada y acalambrada entre aquella agua negra y dura como tierra corrediza. Tal vez bramó pidiendo que le ayudaran. Bramó como sólo Dios sabe cómo.
Yo le pregunté a un señor que vio cuando la arrastraba el río si no había visto también al becerrito que andaba con ella. Pero el hombre dijo que no sabía si lo había visto. Sólo dijo que la vaca manchada pasó patas arriba muy cerquita de donde él , estaba y que allí dio una voltereta y luego no volvió a ver ni los cuernos ni las patas ni ninguna señal de vaca. Por el río rodaban muchos troncos de árboles con todo y raíces y él estaba muy ocupado en sacar leña, de modo que no podía fijarse si eran animales o troncos los que arrastraba.
Nomás por eso, no sabemos si el becerro está vivo, o si se fue detrás de su madre río abajo. Si así fue, que Dios los ampare a los dos.
La apuración que tienen en mi casa es lo que pueda suceder el día de mañana, ahora que mi hermana Tacha se quedó sin nada. Porque mi papá con muchos trabajos había conseguido a la Serpentina, desde que era una vaquilla, para dársela a mi hermana, con el fin de que ella tuviera un capitalito y no se fuera a ir de piruja como lo hicieron mis otras dos hermanas, las más grandes.
Según mi papá, ellas se habían echado a perder porque éramos muy pobres en mi casa y ellas eran muy retobadas. Desde chiquillas ya eran rezongonas. Y tan luego que crecieron les dio por andar con hombres de lo peor, que les enseñaron cosas malas. Ellas aprendieron pronto y entendían muy bien los chiflidos, cuando las llamaban a altas horas de la noche. Después salían hasta de día. Iban cada rato por agua al río y a veces, cuando uno menos se lo esperaba, allí estaban en el corral, revolcándose en el suelo, todas encueradas y cada una con un hombre trepado encima.
Entonces mi papá las corrió a las dos. Primero les aguantó todo lo que pudo; pero más tarde ya no pudo aguantarlas más y les dio carrera para la calle. Ellas se fueron para Ayutla o no sé para dónde; pero andan de pirujas.
Por eso le entra la mortificación a mi papá, ahora por la Tacha, que no quiere vaya a resultar como sus otras dos hermanas, al sentir que se quedó muy pobre viendo la falta de su vaca, viendo que ya no va a tener con qué entretenerse mientras le da por crecer y pueda casarse con un hombre bueno, que la pueda querer para siempre. Y eso ahora va a estar difícil. Con la vaca era distinto, pues no hubiera faltado quien se hiciera el ánimo de casarse con ella, sólo por llevarse también aquella vaca tan bonita.
La única esperanza que nos queda es que el becerro esté todavía vivo. Ojalá no se le haya ocurrido pasar el río detrás de su madre. Porque si así fue, mi hermana Tacha está tantito así de retirado de hacerse piruja. Y mamá no quiere.
Mi mamá no sabe por qué Dios la ha castigado tanto al darle unas hijas de ese modo, cuando en su familia, desde su abuela para acá, nunca ha habido gente mala. Todos fueron criados en el temor de Dios y eran muy obedientes y no le cometían irreverencias a nadie. Todos fueron por el estilo. Quién sabe de dónde les vendría a ese par de hijas suyas aquel mal ejemplo. Ella no se acuerda. Le da vueltas a todos sus recuerdos y no ve claro dónde estuvo su mal o el pecado de nacerle una hija tras otra con la misma mala costumbre. No se acuerda. Y cada vez que piensa en ellas, llora y dice: “Que Dios las ampare a las dos.”
Pero mi papá alega que aquello ya no tiene remedio. La peligrosa es la que queda aquí, la Tacha, que va como palo de ocote crece y crece y que ya tiene unos comienzos de senos que prometen ser como los de sus hermanas: puntiagudos y altos y medio alborotados para llamar la atención.
-Sí -dice-, le llenará los ojos a cualquiera dondequiera que la vean. Y acabará mal; como que estoy viendo que acabará mal.
Ésa es la mortificación de mi papá.
Y Tacha llora al sentir que su vaca no volverá porque se la ha matado el río. Está aquí a mi lado, con su vestido color de rosa, mirando el río desde la barranca y sin dejar de llorar. Por su cara corren chorretes de agua sucia como si el río se hubiera metido dentro de ella.
Yo la abrazo tratando de consolarla, pero ella no entiende. Llora con más ganas. De su boca sale un ruido semejante al que se arrastra por las orillas del río, que la hace temblar y sacudirse todita, y, mientras, la creciente sigue subiendo. El sabor a podrido que viene de allá salpica la cara mojada de Tacha y los dos pechitos de ella se mueven de arriba abajo, sin parar, como si de repente comenzaran a hincharse para empezar a trabajar por su perdición.
[Imagen: Colima, México, lugar cuyo recuerdo está conectado con la lectura de Rulfo en mi imaginación.]
Uno de los textos que mas me gustó entre aquellos medievales que leí en la época de mis estudios graduados. El comienzo (de su versión en línea):
“Buddha. I bow and pray not to withdraw from a functioning mind.”
This is #105 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).
…
103. 부처님. 저는 보살행을 실천하며 살아가기를 발원하며 절합니다.
“Buddha. I bow and pray to live and practice toward becoming a bodhisattva.”
104. 부처님. 저는 반야 지혜가 자라기를 발원하며 절합니다.
“Buddha. I bow and pray to grow in wisdom.”
105. 부처님. 저는 수행하는 마음이 물러나지 않기를 발원하며 절합니다.
I would read this one hundred fifth affirmation as: “Buddha. I bow and pray not to withdraw from a functioning mind.”
Or… functioning heart. Or heart that functions. Mind and heart: 마음. It’s not so much linked to a specific organ in the body, as the western terms are, as to the function of feeling, I think.
I like this affirmation. It seems to be saying: trust your feelings. Follow them. Maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know.
I’m running out of affirmations. I can’t decide what I’m going to replace this amazingly regular blog-feature with, when I run out. Any suggestions, O universe? I guess I’ll just follow my heart.
Not at all related, and maybe even somewhat inappropriate… what I’m listening to right now.
Eisbrecher (a German goth/industrial rock group), “Schwarze witwe” (black widow). The song seems to be about vampiric sex, or something like that. I’m not so good at understanding German – but I never let a failure to understand a language interfere with my ability to enjoy it. So I have a lot of music in various languages that I barely understand in rotation among my mp3 files – German, Japanese, Portuguese, Korean, etc.
No he podido encontrar fácilmente la fecha de composición del poema, pero parece más bien temprano que tarde. Con su título, el poeta Huidobro hace referencia al famoso drama del mismo título de Calderón de la Barca.
La vida es sueño
Los ojos andan de día en día
Las princesas posan de rama en rama
Como la sangre de los enanos
Que cae igual que todas sobre las hojas
Cuando llega su hora de noche en noche.Las hojas muertas quieren hablar
Son gemelas de voz dolorida
Son la sangre de las princesas
Y los ojos de rama en rama
Que caen igual que los astros viejos
Con las alas rotas como corbatasLa sangre cae de rama en rama
De ojo en ojo y de voz en voz
La sangre cae como corbatas
No puede huir saltando como los enanos
Cuando las princesas pasan
Hacia sus astros doloridos.Como las alas de las hojas
Como los ojos de las olas
Como las hojas de los ojos
Como las olas de las alas.Las horas caen de minuto en minuto
Como la sangre
Que quiere hablar.
Vicente Huidobro es uno de mis poetas favoritos. Las hojas de otoño de estos días, rojas y marrones y doradas, me aparecen en el simbolismo aquí arriba, acompañadas por gotas de sangre y olas de las alas. Pero me pregunto, ¿quienes son las princesas?
La vida es sueño.
Entonces, anoche soñaba con una ciudad paradigmática, que parecía a una media docena de ciudades en que he vivido, que retrataba una media docena de metrópolis que he amado: Chicago, Los Ángeles, México, Filadelfia, París, Seul. Andaba de calles vacías de gente, decoradas por hojas muertas y mojadas al azar. Entre las hojas vi a una princesa, que lloraba la pérdida de un ratón mascota.
Así se puede notar los peligros inherentes de leer poesía surrealista antes de dormir. Hay que notar, también, que siempre sueño mejor cuando medio enfermo.
Debajo, una foto del otro día, mirando hacia el norte sobre el peatonal de Juyeop (주엽) en su cruce con la gran avenida de Ilsan, Jungangno (중앙로), a dos cuadras de mi departamento. Los árboles al fondo se han vestido de colores para los primeros días fríos de otoño.
La mano es la que recuerda…
La mano es la que recuerda
Viaja a través de los años,
desemboca en el presente
siempre recordando.
Apunta, nerviosamente,
lo que vivía olvidado.
la mano de la memoria,
siempre rescatándolo.
Las fantasmales imágenes
se irán solidificando,
irán diciendo quién eran,
por qué regresaron.
Por qué eran carne de sueño,
puro material nostálgico.
La mano va rescatándolas
de su limbo mágico.
José Hierro, de "Cuaderno de Nueva York" 1998
“Buddha. I bow and pray to do the best in everything.”
This is #94 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).
…
92. 부처님. 저는 남을 원망하지 않기를 발원하며 절합니다.
“Buddha. I bow and pray not to resent other people.”
93. 부처님. 저는 매사에 겸손하기를 발원하며 절합니다.
“Buddha. I bow and pray to be humble in everything.”
94. 부처님. 저는 매사에 최선을 다하기를 발원하며 절합니다.
I would read this ninety-fourth affirmation as: “Buddha. I bow and pray to do the best in everything.”
And hence, to Nirvana. Not the end state of Buddhist practice, but the rock band.
On the radio there is a lot of retrospective about the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s Nevermind album. Everyone is saying it’s a group and album that changed everything.
So, speaking of doing one’s best, actually, I am inclined to agree. I remember hearing the boys from Aberdeen, Washington, in 91 or 92 when I was in the Army, or shortly after getting out, and thinking, this is a band that is really representing something new, something different, something capturing the alienation of the post-disco, post-Reagan generation. And I have a very, very distinct and clear memory of when I was studying in Valdivia, Chile, in 1994, and going to some bar or nightclub with some Chilean friends I’d made, and “Smells like teen spirit” was playing, and one of them (who happened to be an activist in the post-Pinochet truth and reconciliation movement) turning to me and saying “Este grupo Nirvana es el más importante de nuestra generación – verás” [this group Nirvana is the most important of our generation – you’ll see].
I listened to the sound carefully, because of that, and felt inclined to agree in that moment, having drunk 1 or 2 Pisco Sours (Chile’s national cocktail).
What I’m listening to right now.
Nirvana, “Come as you are.” My personal favorite from that album, maybe. Perhaps one strength of Nirvana was that they managed to be huge and famous and yet in some weird way remained raw and utterly unpretentious. Not that that lack of pretention rescued Mr Cobain from his untimely suicide, right? That means something, too.
Here’s a screencap from the video – note the lyric, “no I don’t have a gun.”
No tengo nada que decir. Entonces, un haiku por Mario Benedetti (escritor uruguayo):
tiembla el rocío
y las hojas moradas
y un colibrí
El día amaneció claro y con mucho viento, fuertemente saboreado de otoño. Debajo, una foto que tomé hace dos años en Ulleungdo (울릉도).
I’ve been watching some episodes of the “crime-procedural” TV series Bones. Some of the episodes are pretty well written, atlhough it’s inconsistent. But there was a great line. The main eponymous character, nicknamed “Bones,” writes novels as a sideline to her work in forensic anthropology. In a season one episode, she gets caught working on a novel by a coworker, Hodgins. Dialogue:
Hodgins: “I recognize that look.”
Bones: “What?”
Hodgins: “You’re writing another book! When you write, you get this stunned look on your face, like you stuck a fork in a toaster. Am I in this one too?”
Bones: “You weren’t in the last one.”
I had to pause the video and laugh at this. I love how this captures what happens to people who try to write. That it’s not, in fact, a particularly pleasant experience, but that, like sticking a fork in a toaster, it’s an unthought-out, impulsive exercise with unexpected consequences.
Theory of Truth (Reference to The Women at Point Sur) I stand near Soberanes Creek, on the knoll over the sea, west of the road. I remember This is the very place where Arthur Barclay, a priest in revolt, proposed three questions to himself: First, is there a God and of what nature? Second, whether there's anything after we die but worm's meat? Third, how should men live? Large time-worn questions no doubt; yet he touched his answers, they are not unattainable; But presently lost them again in the glimmer of insanity. How many minds have worn these questions; old coins Rubbed faceless, dateless. The most have despaired and accepted doctrine; the greatest have achieved answers, but always With aching strands of insanity in them. I think of Lao-tze; and the dear beauty of the Jew whom they crucified but he lived, he was greater than Rome; And godless Buddha under the boh-tree, straining through his mind the delusions and miseries of human life. Why does insanity always twist the great answers? Because only tormented persons want truth. Man is an animal like other animals, wants food and success and women, not truth. Only if the mind Tortured by some interior tension has despaired of happiness: then it hates its life-cage and seeks further, And finds, if it is powerful enough. But instantly the private agony that made the search Muddles the finding. Here was a man who envied the chiefs of the provinces of China their power and pride, And envied Confucius his fame for wisdom. Tortured by hardly conscious envy he hunted the truth of things, Caught it, and stained it through with his private impurity. He praised inaction, silence, vacancy: why? Because the princes and officers were full of business, and wise Confucius of words. Here was a man who was born a bastard, and among the people That more than any in the world valued race-purity, chastity, the prophetic splendors of the race of David. Oh intolerable wound, dimly perceived. Too loving to curse his mother, desert-driven, devil-haunted, The beautiful young poet found truth in the desert, but found also Fantastic solution of hopeless anguish. The carpenter was not his father? Because God was his father, Not a man sinning, but the pure holiness and power of God. His personal anguish and insane solution Have stained an age; nearly two thousand years are one vast poem drunk with the wine of his blood. And here was another Saviour, a prince in India, A man who loved and pitied with such intense comprehension of pain that he was willing to annihilate Nature and the earth and stars, life and mankind, to annul the suffering. He also sought and found truth, And mixed it with his private impurity, the pity, the denials. Then search for truth is foredoomed and frustrate? Only stained fragments? Until the mind has turned its love from itself and man, from parts to the whole. - Robinson Jeffers, 1937.
The greatest American poet, IMHO.
I took the picture above in November, 2009, not far from Point Sur, California.
“Buddha. I bow and pray not to be envious.”
This is #87 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).
…
85. 부처님 . 저는 화내지 않기를 발원하며 절합니다.
“Buddha. I bow and pray not to get angry.”
86. 부처님 . 저는 교만하지 않기를 발원하며 절합니다.
“Buddha. I bow and pray not to be arrogant.”
87. 부처님 . 저는시기하지 않기를 발원하며 절합니다.
I would read this eighty-seventh affirmation as: “Buddha. I bow and pray not to be envious.”
But actually, I experienced a moment of envy, this morning, upon learning that my closest friend from graduate school has published a book. It’s an “edition,” such as academics do – in this case, an edition of Balbuena’s “Grandeza mexicana” from 1604.
Envy, I guess, because it was once the sort of future I ambitiously imagined for myself… it seems that I’ve traveled a different road. Regardless, congratulations to my friend, and at some point look forward to reading what she wrote.
The problem with envy is that it’s pernicious – it doesn’t always really feel like a “negative” emotion. How is it different than, say, aspiration? Or is aspiration something to be avoided, too? That’s a possible implication. Desire as the source of suffering, and all that.
I keep returning to thinking about issues of sustainability, economics, the “stable recession” in Japan, my own interest in things like carrying capacity and density. I ran across a book review in the Guardian of a book I’d like to get ahold of eventually. The review seemed to summarize some of the ideas that have been bouncing around my own mind for a couple years now.
One thing I didn’t really see addressed in the review, however, is the idea that there is a class of goods that don’t rely, quite as directly, on consumption of finite resources: I’m thinking of art and intellectual production. To the extent that we transition to a “knowledge-based economy” (though I hate using such a buzzword), we can continue economic “growth” (in the abstract sense of increasing the amount of money sloshing around, i guess) without necessarily using up “stuff.” Call it an immaterial economics.
What I’m listening to right now.
Joan Baez, “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall.”
Originally this song was by Bob Dylan, and I love Bob Dylan, but it’s Baez’s version that is embedded in my memory from my childhood. Yeah, growing up hippy, and all that. The lyrics.
A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall Lyrics
Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son ?
And where have you been my darling young one ?
I’ve stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I’ve walked and I’ve crawled on six crooked highways
I’ve stepped in the middle of seven sad forests
I’ve been out in front of a dozen dead oceans
I’ve been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.Oh, what did you see, my blue eyed son ?
And what did you see, my darling young one ?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin’
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin’
I saw a white ladder all covered with water
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son ?
And what did you hear, my darling young one ?
I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin’
I heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world
I heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin’
I heard ten thousand whisperin’ and nobody listenin’
I heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin’
Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.Oh, who did you meet my blue-eyed son ?
Who did you meet, my darling young one ?
I met a young child beside a dead pony
I met a white man who walked a black dog
I met a young woman whose body was burning
I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow
I met one man who was wounded in love
I met another man who was wounded in hatred
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard
And it’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.And what’ll you do now, my blue-eyed son ?
And what’ll you do now my darling young one ?
I’m a-goin’ back out ‘fore the rain starts a-fallin’
I’ll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest
Where the people are a many and their hands are all empty
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison
Where the executioner’s face is always well hidden
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten
Where black is the color, where none is the number
And I’ll tell and think it and speak it and breathe it
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it
Then I’ll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin’
But I’ll know my songs well before I start singin’
And it’s a hard, it’s a hard, it’s a hard, and it’s a hard
It’s a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
Yo sueño con los ojos
Abiertos, y de día
Y noche siempre sueño.
Y sobre las espumas
Del ancho mar revuelto,
Y por entre las crespas
Arenas del desierto
Y del león pujante,
Monarca de mi pecho,
Montado alegremente
Sobre el sumiso cuello,
Un niño que me llama
Flotando siempre veo!
– José Martí, en Ismaelillo (Nueva York, 1882)
A veces llevo la misma impresión que me ofrece ese poema: la de existir en una clase de sueño despierto por las rutinas de la vida diaria. Anoche leía a Coleridge, y hoy en la mañana a Martí.
Son cuerpos de obra poética algo relacionados por lo temático onírico. Pero aunque me encantan los rítmos de e.g. “Cristabel” de Coleridge, su contenido proto-romántico – digamos místico – me es difícil. Prefiero el contendio martiano, tal vez igualmente místico pero ya plenamente proto-modernista. Además, los poemas de Ismaelillo, por su fundación en la vida real del poeta – inspirados por su hijo – celebran algo del mundo real. Es un onirismo cotidiano y realista – una vida de padre amoroso inmigrante en Brooklyn – en lugar de un onirismo evasivo y anti-realista, opiático.
Hace mucho tiempo que me dedico a leer tanta poesía como en estos días. Tal vez es una forma de tratar a mi propia vacuidad creativa.