Today I was a celebrity. Each time I stepped out of a classroom or climbed the stairs, I faced a battery of cellphone cameras wielded by students who had recently discovered they can make high-speed, shutter-repeating “picture movies” with their cellphones. I began to do crazy things, as the idea of taking little stop-frame movies of me and each other spread like a meme in a grade school. Uh… yeah, that.
One student “messaged” me a few frames, and explained, finally: “Jared is elected for president!!!”
Category: Banalities & Journaling
Caveat: 김家네에서 점심 밥 먹었어요
Last night a bunch of people from work went out to a Chinese restaurant in the “meat market” which is local foreigner-slang for the west end of the La Festa shopping center (which my apartment building is directly adjacent to). I don’t know how the area got that name — whether because of the large number of restaurants, the existence of place(s) specifically selling meat (which I haven’t seen as something salient), or because of the nightclub scene (which as you know I tend to avoid). Anyway, there are some good restaurants there, and the Chinese place is a regular haunt for semi-official LBridge staff outings. Note that “Chinese” is interpreted broadly: just as getting “Chinese” in America is hardly the same as getting food in China, I rather doubt there’s more than a passing similarity between China’s authentic cuisines and what they call “Chinese” in Korea. But it’s pretty good.
Today, after the unhealthy food last night, I was craving kimchi bokkeumbap. I ordered some delivered from 김家네 (Kim Family’s House), the convenient take-out and delivery place on the corner. Having lunch delivered to the staff room at LBridge is nearly universal, but I tend not to do it except rarely, as the portions are always larger than I should eat regularly. There are lots of places that deliver, but 김家네 is the most popular – I think it’s part of a chain of Korean fast food joints.
It took me a long time to figure out the middle syllable (Kim-ga-ne) because on all the written material associated with the restaurant, they use the Chinese hanja to stand for the “ga.” In pure hangeul, it would be 김가네. I don’t know why they use the hanja – it’s a strictly stylistic thing, but I never knew how it was pronounced as I have never managed to develop the skill required to search for Chinese hanja in dictionaries without already knowing the pronunciation. I had to wait to overhear some coworkers talking about it to make the connection with the bags and containers I saw from the place. “Kim-ga” means, roughly, Kim Family, and the -ne suffix means something akin to the way “chez” works in French, for example.
Caveat: 25 random things (cross-post from facebook to blog)
I’ve been spending more time in facebook, recently. I’m not going to make much effort to “cross-post” things between the two places, but the potential for a sort of “online personality divergence” makes me weirdly uncomfortable – I’m not sure to what extent my miniscule blog audience overlaps my miniscule facebook audience…
Anyway, in this instance, here is a cross posting from facebook. A challenge is circulating there, to post 25 random things about oneself. Here is what I wrote:
1. I like making weird lists of random facts about myself. So this task should go well and prove entertaining.
2. I jokingly tell people that I’m on my 6th career, and it definitely won’t be my last. Let’s see… in reverse order: 6) Elementary EFL Teacher 5) Database Programmer and Business Systems Analyst (maybe that’s 2 at once?) 4) High School Spanish Teacher 3) Graduate Student (that’s a career, isn’t it?) 2) Bookstore Flunky 1) US Army Mechanic 0) Itinerant Hippie-Type-Person
3. I wrote a doctoral dissertation proposal on Cervantes’ under-appreciated novel “Persiles,” but I dropped out of the Univ of Pennsylvania program in disgust with the departmental politics; they gave me an MA as a “consolation prize.”
4. In 2004 I wrote a “temporary” computer program that a former employer of mine used to bill a Very Large Customer (let’s say they have corporate HQ in Detroit, and the monthly billing amount was approximately $1 million, with invoices running to 300 pages). As far as I know, they were still using that program in 2007. When you log onto the intranet site that runs the billing program, I had placed a quote by Mao Tse-tung on the splash page. It’s still there.
5. My television is broken. I like it that way. I use it to pile up my “half clean” laundry… the stuff it’s not time to wash but that isn’t clean enough to hang in the closet. If I need video, I watch it on my laptop.
6. I’m a language geek. I have studied 20 languages in some kind of academic context for at least a few months. That doesn’t mean I can speak them. In most, I can barely say “hello, howareya?” In no particular order: Latin, Ancient Greek, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Russian, Dakota (Native North American Language), Mapudungun (Native South American Language), Korean, Medieval Welsh, Ancient Sumerian, Georgian (Kartuli), Japanese, Mandarin, Arabic, Purepecha (Tarascan, Native Mexican Language), Dutch, Catalan, German.
7. The languages in which I could truly claim any degree of competence are (in rapidly descending order): English, Spanish, French, Korean, Portuguese, Russian, Italian… from there, don’t even bother. I claim fluency only in English and Spanish.
8. I cook a mean mole poblano (famous Mexican Puebla style “chocolate chicken”). I haven’t done so since moving to Korea, though. Ingredients hard to come by…
9. I love snow and rain much more than sunny days of any kind.
10. I died on November 17th, 1998, from intentional drug overdose. This is my 10th year as a ghost on planet Earth. I’m much happier as a ghost.
11. I love my family, though I don’t communicate much with them.
12. I really want to learn Korean for 3 reasons: 1) the challenge – it is reputably one of the most difficult languages in wide distribution to learn 2) the novelty – it is very unique grammatically in the world 3) for my nephews (two Korean boys my sister adopted)
13. My childhood ambition was to be an architect. I feel like it’s too late… but is it?
14. I secretly love cheesy romantic comedies.
15. There are still many places I want to travel to and visit. Top of the list: Phillipines, Japan, Mongolia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Finland, Russia, Turkey… uh, well, everywhere. OK? Everywhere.
16. I think I like being a “foreigner” – like when I was living in Mexico, or here in Korea, now. I think it helps affirm my inner alienation.
17. The big surprise of my recent career shift is that I actually enjoy teaching elementary kids more than older kids (and/or adults). It makes sense, but it honestly had never occurred to me before.
18. I own around 4000 books. They’re in storage, in Minnesota. Except for, say, the most recent 50, lying around my apartment here in Ilsan. I can’t seem to get rid of books, even if they’re in a language I may never be competent to read.
19. If I go back to grad school, it won’t be in Spanish Lit (which is what it was before). Maybe back to Linguistics?
20. I have more than 6000 music tracks on my computer. I admit… I’m a pirate. Argh.
21. I used to hate kimchi… but dang, that stuff kinda grows on you.
22. The place I’ve lived longest is Humboldt County (first 17 years minus a half year in Oklahoma City plus a half year or so in 1990). 2nd runner-up is Twin Cities, Minnesota (about 10 years cumulatively). 3rd place is Los Angeles County, various locations (about 9 years total); 4th place is Metro Philadelphia (about 3 years). 5th place is Northwest Gyeonggi Province, South Korea (now about 2.5 years cumulatively). 6th place is Mexico City (about 14 months total). Other places where I’ve lived at least 3 months: Chicago,
Illinois; Valdivia, Chile; Boston/Cambridge, MA; Acuitzio, Michoacan, Mexico; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala; Craig, Alaska; Oklahoma City, OK; Fort Jackson, South Carolina
23. Technically, I’m a widower. The real story is more complicated – we were separated and discussing divorce when Michelle committed suicide in June of 2000. But I miss her nevertheless.
24. I have a stepson, Jeffrey, who is now 22 and a student at St Cloud State in Minnesota.
25. An old friend of mine, Rosita (now 71), in Mexico City in 2007, asked me why I’m single. “Porque todavia creo en el amor verdadero,” I answered. (I still believe in true love).
Caveat: 48 Questions
There was one of those list-note things circulating in facebookland, where you answer the questions and post them as a note in facebook. So I did that. Here's the result, crossposted here to this blog thingy.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Well, there's that patriarch
Jared, in the Bible — Genesis something-or-other, and he makes a quick
appearance in the roll call at the beginning of Luke. But I think my
mother was just fishing around randomly.2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
November 16th, last fall.3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's horrible.4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Pastrami (historically). Recently, K-spam (Koreans worship spamstuff).5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One
stepson, turned 22 last month. Wow. He's in my facebook friends list.
He lives in St Cloud, MN. We're not super close, but I care about him
very much.6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
No way. I'm insecure and excessively opinionated.7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Regrettably, far too often.8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope. They got removed at Trinity Hospital, corner of C Street and 14th in Arcata, in 1970. I remember the jello vividly.9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Definitely. It's on the list.10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I haven't eaten cereal in years. But, if I had to choose, maybe raisin bran.11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
God, never.13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Coffee.14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Personalitywise: "openness"? Physically: hands.15. RED OR PINK?
Pink. Only because of a current running joke with my E2M3 kids at work.16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My indecisiveness / commitment issues.17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Sometimes
I miss Michelle (my former wife, died 2000). Sometimes I miss my dad
and brother in L.A. Sometimes I miss my bestfriend Bob and family in
Wisconsin.18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
No. Someone has to resist the borg.19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm at home, after work. Blue shorts, no shoes.21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
I
have more than 6000 tracks of music on my computer, on shuffle. Let's
see what comes up… LOL: Bee Gees, More than a Woman. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Greenish23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Honeysuckle
and asphalt (i.e. Southern California in the fall); diesel fumes
(really! makes me think of bus treks across Mexico); a Humboldt County
beach (the surging Pacific); a Minnesota spring;24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend Basil, former coworker at hellbridge (my employer).25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
I like most people. Weirdly. In my abstract way. But yes.26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Hmm. Probably soccer.27. HAIR COLOR?
Brownish greyish.28. EYE COLOR
Bluish greyish.29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No.30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Kimchi Bokkeumbap. Mole poblano. Mac n Cheese.31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
헨젤과 그레텔. Note this is a scary movie, which doesn't make sense, given the previous answer. But whatever…33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Um… bluish, sweatshirt.34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter. Why else do I keep moving back to Minnesota? Besides, the sun is evil.35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs. Despite years in Latin America, I never got comfortable with the kiss-as-hello thing.37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Me. See? … I just did.38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
I refuse to respond to this.39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I
never read just one book at a time. Current in-progress
(pile-on-the-shelf-by-the-bed) list includes: Zarathustra (Nietzsche);
The World Without Us (Alan Weisman); Rational Mysticism (John Horgan);
Mainspring (Jay Lake); Progress and Poverty (Henry George); 프래니 (Koren
language translation of American children's book Frannie K Stein by Jim
Benton); Audacity of Hope (Obama).40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I use the track-pad thing built into my laptop. The mousepad at work is black and unattractive. There is a mouse on it.41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
My
TV is broken. I download old tv shows or movies sometimes, and watch
them on my computer. I was watching a Korean series called "Rooftop
Cat" a while back. And some Hawaii 5-O episodes. Bookem, Danno.42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
A
not-too-busy freeway, as heard from about 3 blocks away; cicadas in the
height of a Korean summer; the crunch of snow after a fresh fall, when
the temperature is below 0F.43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
I don't really like either, but if I had to choose, I'd opt for Beatles, because of the childhood soundtrack thing.44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Uh,
which home? My current home is the farthest from my first home, I
think. But Tierra del Fuego is really damn far from both, and so is
Krakow, Poland. Hmm, how about Tasmania? That's farther from most of
my homes than other places, I guess.45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I used to be able to sleep anywhere, under any circumstance. I seem to have lost that ability. It's very sad.46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Trinity Hospital, Arcata, California.47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Whosoever…48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
We
were next door neighbors in 1992, in south Minneapolis, but also both
attending Univ of Minnesota. Michelle and I separated in 1998, and she
died in 2000.
Caveat: Centering
I had a profoundly traumatic fourth grade year, split between Edgemere Elementary in Oklahoma City (for that half-year we spent there when Ann and Mara and I were staying with my grandparents), and Sunnybrae (which at that time was an elementary school – it didn’t change to a middle school until a few years later, just in time for me to attend there again in 7th and 8th grades).
I really hated my fourth grade year, although I remember being sort of friends with Kray, and close friends with Colin Brant and Tom McConnell. But the following two years, for 5th and 6th grades, I went to “Centering School.”
I laugh it off sometimes, in trying to explain it to others who don’t know or understand what a Humboldt County upbringing can mean. “It was a hippie school,” I’ll joke. “We meditated after lunch, and they let us vote on what to study next,” I will explain laconically. The very last may be a bit of an exaggeration. But overall, they’re not inaccurate. And the fact of the matter is, they were the best years of my long, complicated education. I will remember teachers like Rita and Peggy forever. I still feel close to especially Peggy, who I describe to people using a word like “godmother” – she’s probably the closest thing I’ve had to one. Admittedly, Peggy was not just my 6th grade teacher, but also one of the residents of the extended A Street menagerie, and had been part of the community that raised me from infancy.
And my best friend was Steven Rossa. We used to stage mock battles in the halls, when Centering School was located at the Methodist Church on 11th Street, or go hunting evil villains in a sort of superheroes roleplay across the parking lot and around behind the buildings. The school was small, so what age you were meant little about who you hung out with… so it created a much more natural, human kind of interaction between the kids, with lots of mentoring of older to younger. There was a huge emphasis on arts: drama, writing, drawing, etc. Appropriate, since the school’s founder was a HSU art professor.
Here’s what’s strange, now, all these years later. I’m a bit old to be part of the typical facebook demographic. As would those who are in my generation, which is to say, my Centering School peers. But lo and behold, it seems as if vast numbers of Centering School alums are facebookers, and everyone’s friending everyone else like mad. Perhaps something about the original environment drawing and encouraging creative types leads, all these years later, to a high rate of internet adoption and comfort? All I know is that there are more people from 5th and 6th grade Centering School in facebook than there are from my college years… at least that I’ve seen. That’s a strange statistical improbability.
Regardless, it’s very cool to be meeting up with people, online, who I haven’t seen since 1977, the year I finished 6th grade… if rather disorienting. It was such a great community! I have sometimes said that I was subjected to two horrible traumas during my childhood: my parents’ divorce, and my departure from Centering School at the end of 6th grade – and I’m not really joking when I say that of the two, the latter was worse.
Caveat: 술 안마셔요
Today we had the semi-annual speech contest. I was there as a “judge,” and a coach for some of my students, and also “emcee” for the second round. Jeez… talk about conflicts of interest.
I managed to compartmentalize, and hopefully I was as objective as possible in my judging. I was feeling shafted when one of my hero students, Jessica, didn’t make it to the second round, as I thought she’d done amazingly well, but then I learned that she had in fact placed second out of everyone in the first round, but that her mother had withdrawn her. Hmm… the motives of parents are indeed obscure, at times. Sarah-teacher reported to me that Jessica was in tears over having to leave without a prize despite her excellent performance. I felt bad for her, but better that at least in this instance, it wasn’t hellbridge who was being a collective jerk.
I was proud of Willy (who I quoted just yesterday). And little Dahye didn’t do badly, though didn’t advance to the second round. There was a bittersweet moment, because I’ve been trying really hard to help Dahye feel sufficiently confident to stand up in front of adults and peers and give a speech: she’s a tiny 8 year old with near-perfect English, but is terribly shy. But I heard she did pretty well… I wasn’t there because I was judging a different group. After the first round, waiting for the announcement of the 20 students who would advance to the second round, she ran up to me and declared, “it’s like a prison in there!” She was referring to the “waiting room” that her group of kids was in. And she grabbed my hand and held on. And at that moment, two 6th graders, Sydney and Eunice came up, and said, “Oh, teacher… is that your daughter?” I think they were joking, but it was very sweet: Dahye just grinned up at me with big eyes.
After the contest was finally over, the prizes given out, the parents herded out, teachers and staff and “guests” (corporate types from hellbridge corporation) went out for a late lunch. And as is my custom, when the soju (Korean rice vodka) started flowing, I demurred, “술 안마셔요” (sul an-masheoyo = I don’t drink alcohol). They were so impressed with this bit of Korean, but they were of course dumbfounded at my rejection of alcohol — foreigners in Korea have a reputation for being heavy drinkers. It isn’t really true that I don’t drink… but Koreans are so hardcore about drinking that I find it easier to simply pretend I don’t do alcohol when socializing with them, as I’ve never been one to hold my liquor well.
Caveat: “Dear Blockhead Ants, … “
My student Jin wrote a story about a grasshopper and some ants. It's based on an old folktale that we'd read the text of. But in his version of the story, the grasshopper does well for himself, and he writes back to the ants, "Dear blockhead ants, I am in Hawaii now and very happy." Or something like that. It was cute.
My student Emily S. created an "alien from Saturn" character for a little almost socratic-style dialogue, and the alien's name was Nanarishtititana. Which is a perfect name for a Saturn alien.
Today in E1aT1 class, we were discussing animal rights. Toward the end of the class, Jenny N, who often makes no sense at all, said, in a distressed but clear tone: "But… teacher! We don't need to learn this, because we are not animals." I laughed so hard at this — I'm sure she understood she was making a joke. We had a lot of fun.
Willy is a fourth grader, and a near genius. He may have had some help in composing the following, but I've spent enough time with him to know he's capable of it, himself. It's not just that his English is amazingly good, but that the degree of complexity of his reasoning and his "knowledge about the world" is close to what we would call college-level in the States. Here's Willy, in his own words, on neocolonialism:
As I mentioned, we think about America when we say brands like 'Starbucks', 'Boeing', and 'McDonalds'. All these are famous. And how does it make us to speak English? The answer is: naturally. Actually, it is because we are colonized in culture. We can't feel that we are colonized but we are colonized in American culture slowly and we start to learn and use English slowly.
The attitude barometer, episode 2:
- Number of times I've opened my resignation letter and edited it: 0
- Barrier-surpassing moments of Korean-language usage (outside of work only): 1
- Spirit-destroying moments of Korean-language communication breakdown (outside of work only): 1
- Number of students that have said something to the effect of "teacher, you're so funny" while fighting off an apoplectic fit of giggles: 1
- Number of times I've told someone that I am "much happier than when I was in L.A.": 2
- Number of times I really meant it (as opposed to the "fake it till I make it" approach I'm fond of): 1
- Days I was late to work this week: 0
- Total number of minutes I was late, minus total number of minutes I showed up early: -75 (meaning I came to work early and wasn't much late)
Caveat: Timeline
Lately, because of facebook, I’ve been “reconnecting” with people I haven’t interacted with or known about for up to 25 years. People from high school! Jeannine, Kray, Richard…. Anyway, questions crop up: didn’t you go to university in Missouri? (No). I heard you joined the Army? (Yes).
Being a fundamentally lazy person, I decided to answer a whole pile of these questions at once. I’ve added a year-by-year timeline [UPDATE 20210520: Link repaired, old link was broken] of my life-since-high-school to the bio page of my website: Jared’s Bio. Each year has 1 to 5 telegraphic sentences summarizing what I recall as the salient aspects of that year. I can now point people to it. If they’re interested. More me out there, for all the world to see: I believe in transparency – it cleanses the soul.
Caveat: Among the redwoods in Ilsan
Redwoods in Ilsan? Well, I’m pretty sure. They’re not Sequoia sempervirens… I believe they’re Metasequoia glyptostroboides, Chinese “dawn redwoods.” They’re quite common as ornamentals throughout the temperate climes, now, because they are hardy and grow fast. Here in Korea, they’re not actually that far from home — I think their native area is within 500 km or so.
Unlike California’s sequoias, they’re deciduous — they get naked for the winter. But they have very redwoody bark, and the needles are strikingly similar. See the picture I took, at right.
I walked down to the lake park, and took this picture, below, of the arranged rocks in the frozen lake, with the bridge in the distance over the lake. It seemed beautiful.
Caveat: Love with no need to preempt grievance
Elizabeth Alexander's poem that she read at the Space Emperor's inauguration has received some unkind reviews. But I found the text of it, and despite its reception, I think I rather like it. At the risk of annoying a copyright god somewhere, I will reproduce it.
Writing a poem for such an event, in an era when poetry, especially poetry for public reading, is largely moribund, and for such a diverse audience as "all of America"… well, this is no small challenge. She could have done much worse.
"Praise song for the day."
by Elizabeth Alexander
[2009 Obama Inauguration]
by Elizabeth Alexander
[2009 Obama Inauguration]
Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each others' eyes or not, about to speak or speaking. All about us is noise. All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues. Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair.
Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.
A woman and her son wait for the bus.
A farmer considers the changing sky. A teacher says, "Take out your pencils. Begin."
We encounter each other in words, words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed; words to consider, reconsider.
We cross dirt roads and highways that mark the will of someone and then others who said, "I need to see what's on the other side; I know there's something better down the road."
We need to find a place where we are safe; we walk into that which we cannot yet see.
Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.
Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign, the figuring it out at kitchen tables.
Some live by "Love thy neighbor as thy self." Others by "First do no harm," or "Take no more than you need."
What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance.
In today's sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.
On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp — praise song for walking forward in that light.
Caveat: Maps
I like maps. My rather spartan apartment has recently been decorated by maps on the walls. I have a map of Korea. A map of Argentina/Chile. A map Seoul. And a map of the world (with the place names in Korean.
Gives me something to look at. Kind of dormroomesque, though. Will I ever grow up? Is that required?
Caveat: шоколад, хлеб и борщ в Сеуле
It’s now been 20 years since I studied Russian in college. And unlike some other things I’ve studied, I’ve not made much use of it. At the time, I was quite good at it. I completed a year of college Russian and got one of the highest grades on the end-of-year final that the department had recorded for a first year student — high enough that I remember being contacted by a CIA recruiter (remember that 20 years ago, the cold war had not yet ended). I was flattered but uninterested at the time. Imagine if I’d pursued that? How different would my life have been?
Anyway, I was with Basil today, we went to a bookstore and then we went out for Russian food at a restaurant in the Russian neighborhead near 동대문 (dongdaemun). After having some pretty good borscht and kebabs, we went into a tiny Russian cafe (picture at right) where we drank some kefir and I bought a loaf of dark Russian bread. And then in a Russian supermarket I bought some Russian chocolate (for the novelty, of course).
I was stunned to realize that I was interacting with the Korean-Russian lady behind the counter in Korean, much more comfortably than if I’d been forced to use Russian. And it felt like a weird sort of linguistic milestone, to be in Seoul’s Russiatown interacting in Korean… it means Korean has passed Russian in terms of my linguistc comfort and competence. That’s not really saying a lot, of course. The Russian is very very rusty. But it felt good, in a very weird way.
The title says шоколад, хлеб и борщ в Сеуле (“chocolate, bread and borscht in Seoul”). I ate the borsht in the restaurant, but here below is a pic of the bread and chocolate I brought home with me.
Caveat: Apples and Socks
It's lunar new year, this weekend. The hagwon got gift boxes of apples (presumeably those high-quality greenhouse-grown apples so popular here in the winter — I rather doubt they're imports from warmer climes) for all the staff. I guess that's better than the gift boxes of Spam we got for Chuseok (Korean thanksgiving, back in September). And one of my students gave me a gift box of socks, yesterday. Yes, socks. This is not the first time I've received a gift of socks from a student. I think it must be a custom, of sorts. In any event, it's probably right up there on my list of convenient job-perks. I mean, which is really more useful, when you get down to what's really important in life: stock options or sock options? I'll opt for socks. ㅋㅋㅋ ^_^
Caveat: Jared’s Friday Attitude Barometer
I haven’t done very well with coming up with what might be called “regular features” in my blog. I did really well over the summer with my “Notes for Korean,” but with the press of that nightmarish fall term, I abandoned it. It’s not even that I stopped posting notes… I simply stopped studying Korean altogether. I’ve been having a hard time getting back into a routine, now.
When I’m traveling, I like to say where I am. But that’s not really a feature.
And I love the idea of giving a “soundtrack,” although I haven’t figured out how to actually link in songs and all that… partly, I worry about copyright issues, and also, I’m so anti-Apple that the best online apps out there, which use Apple’s iTunes universe, are kind of off-limits for me.
Just for the sake of trying, today’s soundtrack, walking to work: Cat Stevens, Cafe Tacuba (mexi rock), 소녀시대 (k-pop), BigBang (k-rap), Cold (grunge / alt). “Shuffle” is awesome.
My student Tammy (2nd grade) sent me a message from her cellphone to mine which consisted only of a “cute” animated picture. I managed to capture it, but it’s not animated, now. See at right.
Anyway, I’m going to try for a weekly feature: an attitude barometer. Like most things in this blog, it’s vulnerable to the primary criticism I’ve received… it’s basically narcissistic. Of course. This is really just a diary, right? As long as we’re clear on that, hey, if you don’t want to read it, then don’t, OK?
The attitude barometer consists of a few questions that will have numerical answers. Some positive questions, some negative. Kind of like those questions in the Harper’s Index. The variation in numbers from week to week will provide an indication of my general mood and attitude, mostly about my work.
- Number of times I’ve opened my resignation letter and edited it: 1
- Barrier-surpassing moments of Korean-language usage (outside of work only): 0
- Spirit-destroying moments of Korean-language communication breakdown (outside of work only): 2
- Number of students that have said something to the effect of “teacher, you’re so funny” while fighting off an apoplectic fit of giggles: 3
- Number of times I’ve told someone that I am “much happier than when I was in L.A.”: 3
- Number of times I really meant it (as opposed to the “fake it till you make” approach I’m fond of): 2
- Days I was late to work this week: 2
- Total number of minutes I was late, minus total number of minutes I showed up early: 45
Caveat: Borrarlo de tu vida!
I step out of my building at 1:05, running late for a second day in a row. I try to operate in a happy medium between insolence (always late) and subservience (never late), thus reflecting my dissatisfaction with my management on the one hand and my guilt-driven work-ethic on the other. Two days in a row is perhaps pushing the insolence direction.
The day is overcast, and that lifts me. Heaven is closer when the sun is hidden. I’m weird, that way. I remember a day, during one of my aimless wanderings in Mexico. I was about 20, and I was walking along the side of a highway, I think on the outskirts of La Paz, BCS. That’s one of the hottest parts of Mexico – tropical desert. The sun was beating down on me like an angry Pharaoh, and I vividly recall thinking to myself that there was something malevolent in it. I wanted to stand there at the side of the road and shake my fist, like a madman in a movie. Perhaps this is merely the result of having grown up in a place where there was so little sunshine. The sun comes to represent something alien, unknowable, not always an entirely welcome visitation. I don’t know.
When it’s extremely cold and also sunny, it’s an odd thing. The earth is ignoring the sun. “I’ll be cold, anyway,” she argues, and shrugs a pale, frozen shoulder. I feel close to the land when the weather is like that. And when there are clouds, I am close to heaven.
Anyway. It’s a mild day (as overcast tends to be).
Linkin Park kicks in on my MP3 player. I turn up the volume and start the walk to work. I refuse to take a taxi, even when I’m running late – on average, it only takes me 7 more minutes to walk the 2.x km than to go flag down a taxi and drive there through several inevitably long waits at red traffic lights. And it gives time to reflect. And I need the exercise.
Why am I late today? It’s kind of embarrassing – I was reading some of my own old blog posts. There was a moment of self-revelation, reading a post from April, 2006 (Caveat: angst). Not particularly deep, but it put me into one of those introspective fugues for half an hour. I won’t quote my own writing… that seems indulgent – go read it if you’re really curious. I think you’ll see what I found striking about it: I listed a series of alternate futures for myself, and one of them is exactly true. That’s… disorienting. I’m not normally very good at predicting my own future.
A track from The Who’s Quadrophenia shuffles onto my player. Last night I received a puzzling yet wonderful email from a former student, Jeong-eun. She was in one of my most advanced elementary classes at LinguaForum, and was one of the most interesting, intelligent, introspective 5th graders I have ever met. Without being at all “nerdy” – that’s a difficult combination to pull off. Anyway, she was saying she had fond memories of the class and adds, “Teacher, with us you always laughed and never showed even when you had hard time.” Which is pretty good English, too.
But she also says an odd thing, about that “now you are going away so I am very sad.” Does she know something that I don’t? I wonder to myself. And this brings me back to my current never-quite-resolved dilemma: am I going to stick it out with hellbridge (my current employer) to the end of my contract? Or am I going run away? (metaphorically speaking… I would try to negotiate a fair-to-all-parties letter-of-release if I decided to quit). Which brings me back to that blog post from almost 3 years ago, and my friend’s comment about me being a “serial quitter.” Hmm.
I see a tiny girl, maybe 7 years old, in pink jacket, confidently riding her bike on one of the pedestrian paths that grid Ilsan between the blocks of apartment towers. Standing up on the pedals, and holding a cell phone in one hand, and coming to an adroit stop at a red light at a crosswalk. I feel an odd mixture of admiration and envy. Envy? Sometimes I yearn to just do all of life OVER again. But just at that moment, the Mexican rock-en-espanol group Control Machete is playing their song Amores Perros (title song to an amazing movie, by the way), and they declaim into my ears with an angry growl, “… la codicia… borrarlo de tu vida!” (… envy… erase it from your life!). Interesting synchronicity, there.
As I approach the last turn in my right-angled zig-zag trip to work, a track by Absurd Minds shuffles into my headphones. Something more recent, a teutonic-toned goth/industrial electronic bit. And the decisions and exhortations are deferred. To work. To grading, and into that insufferably hot, stuffy, staff room. The annoying pesterings and chaotic emendations of the middle-managers, and the dipped heads of deference: 네, 부원장님 (Yes, Mr. Assistant Director), in non-confrontational tones.
And then, a few hours with the kids, absorbing their reflexive optimism, to see me through another day.
What I’m listening to right now.
[UPDATE 2011: youtube embeds added as part of background noise; UPDATE 20180603: youtube embed repaired due to link-rot]
Caveat: 아어에즈! and other random observations
My student Gina was a veritable goldmine of one-liners today.
She said “아어에즈!” (which is apparently utter nonsense aeoejeu – kind of a howl of frustration – but they made sure I spelled it correctly, so I have my doubts, although Koreans take their vowels very seriously).
She said “Tiny green-skinned girl disappears!” somberly.
She observed that “A romance like wine is very expensive!” in response to a newspaper article we were reading.
And she announced, self-pityingly, “I memorized but I can’t remember” during the vocabulary quiz.
I decided to try some 잣죽 (rice and pine-nut porridge) for dinner (made from a little packet by adding water in a saucepan, boil, stir… just like any porridge I guess). It was pretty good.
Caveat: Insomnia
So I admit it. I've got some insomnia. Mostly it happens, I go to sleep, and then wake up an hour or two later and can't get back to sleep. It's horrible. And I'm sure it's why I haven't felt very healthy.
Caveat: Space Station Ilsan
Because my working hours are roughly 1pm to 11 pm, my sleeping schedule seems to get easily messed up. I'll stay up late, and sleep in late, and it will progress until I'm falling out of bed just in time to make it to work, after going to sleep at 5 in the morning. It's frustrating, because I always feel more productive in the mornings, but I'm happier in the evenings. So there's trade off.
Weekends get weird, because I end up sort of missing the day. I'll have a lazy "morning" that stretches from like noon until 4 pm. And then if I decide to go out, that's when my weekend "day" starts – at around sunset. That would be great if I liked going to clubs or bars, but I don't do that. So… and museums are always closed by the time I manage to get motivated to go near one.
Living in this intensely urban environment, and rarely being out during daylight, it starts to seem like I'm living inside a giant space station. Which is cool. But disorienting.
Caveat: Quiere Jared ser útil
Often, I surf to the google news site, but choose the “Mexico” view. Anyway, yesterday at work, I opened google Mexico and there, three or four lines down on the right hand side of the main portal page was the headline “Quiere Jared ser útil” (Jared wants to be useful). Obviously, I understood that it wasn’t, in fact, refering to me. But it was a weird moment when it was like one of those Gombrowiczean hyper-signifying events.
Jared has become an increasingly common first name in Anglo-America, but it remains extremely rare in Spanish-speaking America. What Jared were they referring to? Turns out there’s a champion soccer player of Mexican nationality, sufficiently famous to be referred to by only his first name, as often happens with celebrities. He recently signed with the Guadalajara Chivas pro team, and he “wants to be useful” to his new teammates.
Below is the googlepage – I snapshotted it since obviously those pages are constantly changing their contents.
Caveat: Industria del deseo
Leía en Mileno.com una reseña de un nuevo libro por Joan Ferrés entitulado La educación como industria del deseo. Los conceptos, tales como resumidos por el reseñador, me intriguían, aunque el valor de la reseña no me parecía mucho, porque no ofrecía ninguna opinión propia acerca de la obra. Era más bien un resumen.
Pero, siendo yo educador con tendencias posmodernas, cierto que me llamó la temática. Tal vez intentaré conseguir el libro, aunque hacerlo desde acá en Corea no será muy conveniente. Saldrá o caro o imposible.
Caveat: Blame Siberia
Bitterly cold. The high today was around 16 F (-7 C). And yet, that's not so bad, by Minnesota standards, where the high today was apparently -1 F (-18 C) in Minneapolis. Yet we have the Siberians to blame for both of these… the same "Siberian Express" weather system drives both cold systems, half-a-planet apart from one another.
In completely unrelated news… I recently discovered that a man who I went to grade school with (and middle school and high school) is now a folk singer who lives in Alaska. I downloaded some of his songs. Not too bad.
I remember Kray Van Kirk pretending to attack other kids using his imaginary sword, in 7th or 8th grade. But he always seemed so much more confident than I felt. Although, a bit wacky, too. And now…
Caveat: Midterms
Midterm grades are due this week through next Monday. As usual, I have a lot of unfinished grading to plow through, though nothing as bad as last term's. But I'm having a difficult time motivating and getting to work earlier than absolutely required, to do the extra work; meanwhile, I still stand firm on my "no work comes home with me" policy. Hmmm.
Caveat: Serial Non-serialist Ceases Seriality!
Per my usual habits, I'm reading more than one book at once. I tend to read non-fiction books non-serially, for the most part — by which I mean that I don't just start at the introduction and read chapter by chapter until I get to the end, but instead kind of browse my way through the book, eventually covering almost all of it, but in my own discovered order. I have read non-fiction that way most of my life, but it occurred to me recently that mostly I read non-serially, serially. Meaning I do it with one non-fiction book after another… since most books I have going at any given time are generally fiction, which is less forgiving of the non-serial approach. Lately, though, I haven't been enjoying fiction as much. So, it turns out, I'm not only reading non-serially, but I'm doing so simultaneously with multiple books.
Currently, those books are: John Horgan's Rational Mysticism, Alan Weisman's The World Without Us, Obama's Audacity of Hope, and Chomsky's Chomsky on Anarchism (which is actually a collection of essays, therefore exceptionally forgiving of the non-serial approach).
Caveat: Comics n Pics
My student Sydney “borrowed” my cellphone and snapped the following picture of me in class this evening.
At least I don’t look quite as geeky as I normally do.
She also drew the comic below. Not a great pic of it, but it shows Peter-teacher and Jared-teacher and Jared’s alligator (known by the monicker “Number Six”).
Caveat: Grumble
God I hate being sick.
Caveat: Something or Other
I'm not sure I have much to say. I've been sleeping a lot, lately… more than normal. Probably still recovering from that flu I had. But when awake, I've been feeling better about things. Work is a bit of a grind, especially sitting in that staff room, grading papers and prepping lessons, but the kids have been a lot of fun, and I always seem to end the day in a higher mood than I start it.
Is that just because I'm fundamentally not a "morning person" and therefore the world tends to look exceptionally horrible during my first 6 hours of consciousness? Is it because the kids and their antics always cheer me up? I'm inclined to think at least partly, it's the latter, because I don't always follow the exact same trajectory on weekend days.
Caveat: Birthday Cake at the Galbi Joint
Monday a few of us went out to dinner after hagwon closed at a Galbi joint, to celebrate Christine’s birthday. Here’s a cellphone pic of Jenica, Christine, and Joe. Joe and Christine are a couple who were hired together, from Indiana. Jenica’s from New Jersey.
Caveat: Symbols
What does it mean that a mostly Buddhist and Christian nation lives nationalistically under a flag composed of Taoist and Confucian/Pagan symbols?
The giant flag at Juyeop plaza, one subway stop west of my “home” station at Jeongbalsan, and a short 7 minute walk from my place of work. I took the picture after leaving work early on New Year’s Eve. The day was bright, windy, and very, very cold. Maybe around 15 F (-10 C).
Caveat: Perennial Peripheria
I noticed that California’s perennial water politics controversy, the Peripheral Canal, is in the news. It’s actually been on my mind, on and off. The reason is complicated.
Since I came to Korea, some of the aspects of the EFL curricula I have been provided with to teach from that I have most liked have been the various “debate programs.” I think debate is a great way to teach not just language skills, but also to address important, related issues such as critical thinking and general confidence. And when I think about debate, I always think about the debate class I had at Arcata High. It was in 10th or 11th grade, I think. Funny that I don’t remember that. Nor can I recall the teacher’s name. But, what I remember with great clarity and vividness was that the topic I ended up with, back in the beginning of the 80’s, was the Peripheral Canal: to build or not to build? I remember trudging up to the Humboldt State University library repeatedly to study such archana as tracing the lobbying money being spent by the MWD (Metropolitan Water District of Southern California, a semi-private institution despite its name, kind of like the Fed of water politics), and feeling like I was uncovering some scary scandal, like in a movie.
The issue has always been interesting. I view it as the sort of archetype of the typical exceedingly complex environment vs human debate. It has always had sincere environmentalists positioned on both sides. On the one hand, the current extent of ongoing environmental degradation in the California Delta is unsustainable without some major change or human remediation. This has been recognized and essentially uncontroversial for 30 years (i.e. since before I was debating it in high school!). But other people fight the idea of building a canal to help “save” the delta, because the same canal will be able to support even further and faster degradation, unless properly managed for the benefit of the Delta ecosystem instead of simply to slake the ever-growing thirst of California’s cities.
One interesting feature of the current push is that some groups are pushing for an amendment to the California Constitution to make sure that the Delta (meaning its ecosystems) get representation of some kind on the board that oversees the management of any canal that is built. Meanwhile, the governator, with characteristic recklessness, is pushing beginning of actual construction very hard. Wanting it to be part of his legacy. And, arguably, with the economic crisis creating a positive political environment for big public works spending (stimulus!), there’s some brilliant tactics on display there. The canal would be the largest water-related public works project since the California Aqueduct was completed.
Some things have changed. It’s no longer South vs North — Sacramento, lurking right on the eastern edge of the Delta, is thirstier now than L.A. was 30 years ago. And many locals who opposed the canal in years past are now so desperate to see something done to save the Delta that they are more in a mood to compromise. At least, that’s my perception. I still don’t know what the right answer is… I think the Delta is doomed, regardless, at least as it is…. Canal or no canal, rising sea levels (global warming) will push salt water farther and farther inland (people forget that the Delta area between Sacramento and Vallejo is at exactly sea level… and Sacramento is the U.S. city most vulnerable to rising sea levels after only New Orleans, despite being 150 miles inland) unless other steps are taken that dwarf the canal both in terms of ecological impact and cost: some kind of barrier will have to be built, a la Netherlands’ giant seawall, to keep San Francisco Bay from invading the Valley.
Anyway, all of which is to say… as I teach kids debating skills, I think back to that class. I hated the teacher… probably it’s a good thing I don’t remember him. But it was my first real academic-style “research” experience, and it generated what appears to have evolved into lifelong interests in a) the issues of the California Delta, and b) formal debate as a pedagogical method.
Caveat: “헨젤과 그레텔” 영화를 촣아헸어요
I watched a really good movie yesterday. A 2007 Korean release, titled 헨젤과 그레텔 (hen-jel-gwa geu-re-tel = Hansel and Gretel) is considered a horror film in genre terms, but it’s really a bit more (and less) than that.
Most of the amateur reviews of the movie (written in English, anyway) that I saw online seemed to harbor a fundamental misunderstanding of the film, stating either overtly or implicitly that it was an unfaithful adaptation of the fairy tale “Hansel and Gretel.”
The fact is, it’s not an adaptation at all. Rather, the fairy tale “Hansel and Gretel” might best be viewed as a protagonist (or antagonist) of the film. The film doesn’t tell the story “Hansel and Gretel” but instead tells a story about the story “Hansel and Gretel.” That makes it a sort of metafairytale. And everyone knows how I love all things meta. It’s not a reading of that story, but a completely new narrative about the reception of the text, in a postwar Korean cultural context.
I’ll leave plot summaries and all that to others. See imdb, for example. But I enjoyed the movie partly because it had me constantly wondering about to what extent the dreamlike (nightmarelike) events of the film could be read as a metaphor for some aspects of Korea’s relationship to the West and to its own history.
As an example, consider the fact that the physical book “Hansel and Gretel,” that wreaks such psychic havoc in the film, is brought to the children by a very western Santa Claus (santa haraboji) in the 1960’s, the era of the quasi-fascist westernizing dictatorship. He is clearly, in fact, just a Korean in a Santa suit. And decades later, the children, psychically wounded beyond belief when young (by the Korean War? by the dictatorship?) are living in a sort of self-regenerating fantasyland of material plenty and affective vacuum. “Adults” come and go, but the kids simply can’t move on.
These are just some notes, not meant to be pat answers or allegorical readings of the movie. And there are some things I don’t like about it – I’d have preferred, personally, if the causative links between their childhood abuse and current situation (established with flashbacks) had retained more of the antirationalist (surreal) character of the first half of the film. But perhaps that serves an important purpose, too.
Overall, it’s a coherent movie, perhaps a bit pat, psychologically, but full of the sort of small, spine-shuddering moments that good “scary movies” require but with very little gratuitous gore or meaningless jacks-in-the-boxes. The actors are amazing, especially the kids, and also that creepy born-again serial killer. Alleged serial killer, that is… he never gets to kill any serial in the movie – don’t worry, it’s not a slasher show. Although… several adults do die, including the nasty abusing guy that gets shoved in the oven, and several dysfunctional mother-figures. And what’s that about, anyway?
The cinematography is spectacular. All kinds of inanimate things become full participating characters: the forest, the house, the book, food, a television set. Like some novel full of oversignifiers by Gombrowicz.
Caveat: 새해복많이 받으세요
My student Eunice sent me a text message sometime after midnight last night (above). Roughly, it means “Happy New Year,” of course. Don’t my students have anything better to do? Hah… no, seriously, it was nice of her to do that, I guess. I haven’t had a very productive day today, though.
The random picture shows sunset in Gangnam.
Caveat: 13 Stone
I have a bathroom scale I bought for 12000 won at the Home Plus store. Apparently it was a leftover something originally intended for the U.K. market, as the weight is marked in stone and kilograms, but not pounds. According to that scale, I started the year 2008 with a weight of just a little over 13 stone, and I’m ending the year roughly the same.
That may seem inconsequential. And 13 stone and a fraction (it’s about 84 kg or 185 pounds, I think) is still more than my ideal weight, probably. But it’s really a major accomplishment for me to have kept my weight so stable this year, given it was only a few years ago (I think 2003 or 2004) when I peaked at around 245 pounds, and that my long-term year-from-year weight hasn’t shown a lot of stability, having mostly fluctuated between 200 and 250 over the last 15 years. So keeping it so stable, and at well under 200, feels like a major accomplishment to me. And basically, I have only one rule: “Eat less than you want. Always.”
Anyway, that’s my observation for this last day of the year. I have tomorrow off. No big plans, though. I ran across the following quote in an old file of snippets and notes of mine, but can’t figure out where I might have found it… I’m pretty sure it’s not mine. But I definitely think there’s something to it.
“Forget about all those years of therapy, just pretend you’re okay and you will be.” – unattributed.
The random picture below shows the changing of the guard (i.e. change of drivers) at the Jichuk station on the Orange Line of the subway, on a Daehwa-bound train – which is what I take from downtown Seoul to my home.
Caveat: 2008
Tomorrow School got taken over by LinguaForum. LinguaForum, in turn, got taken over by L-Bridge. Working at L-Bridge was really challenging, and I nearly quit. My boss, you see, was psychotic. But I discovered something about myself, which, retrospectively, I labelled “Zen With a Red Pen.” I spent a week in Australia with my mother in August – with a brief visit to Hong Kong, too.
[This entry is part of a timeline I am making using this blog. I am writing a single entry for each year of my life, which when viewed together in order will provide a sort of timeline. This entry wasn’t written in 2008 – it was written in the future.]