“Teacher is so handsome,” said the 8th grade girl, with apparent sincerity.
I was somewhat taken aback. I sometimes get such effusive praise from younger students, or from old ladies in the subway – but almost never from self-respecting, well-adjusted teenagers. I tried to take it gracefully. Fortunately, she rescued me from my self-consciousness, by adding, “Your head is small. You are like a LEGO man.”
This could either be the kind of ironically meant “damning-with-faint-praise” remark typical of teens around the world, or it could be that this somewhat strange but cheerful girl was a fan of LEGO-people. I’d be happier to believe the latter. But who knows.
In the spirit of her complement (?), I drew the self-portrait above right on the blackboard at the close of class.
Uno de los conjuntos musicales mexicanos que más me gusta es Molotov – a pesar de su preocupación por temática de drogas y violencia, también muestran una clara inteligencia política y cultural. Surfeaba teh youtubes pa encontrar algunos buenos tracks. Éste siguiente me tiene una resonancia – tan lírica como políticamente, ofrece mucho.
Lo que estoy escuchando ahora mismo.
Molotov, “Gimme Tha Power.”
Cuando era chico quería ser como superman pero ahora ya quiero ser un diputado del PAN o del PRI o del PRD o cualquier cosa que tenga un poco de poder quiero convertirme en músico político y construirle un piso al periferico quiero acabar con el tráfico tengo que entrar en la historia de México y luego miro al pecero que va medio pedo jugando carreras con los pasajeros pero el tiene que pasar primero sin luces sin frenos junto al patrullero aunque no sepa leer no sepa hablar el es el que te brinda la seguridad asi lo tienes que respetar porque el representa nuestra autoridad
(Coro) So you think you goona hit me but now We gonna hit you back
Te metera en el bolsillo una sustancia ilegal y te va a consignar al poder judicial y ahí seguro que te ira muy mal porque te haran cocowash con agua mineral porque en ti creiamos todos los mexicanos te dimos trabajo pagado y honrado te dimos un arma para cuidarnos y el arma que usas la usas para robarnos y aunque quieras quejarte con papa gobierno les pides ayuda y te mandan al infierno porque tendremos que tirar buen pedo solo te van a dar atole con el dedo y en la fila del departamento de quejas toparas con un mar de secretarias pendejas el siguiente en la fila y asi te la pelas pero algunos al final nunca se traspapela
(Coro)
México solidario acabo a los tiranos sin la necesidad de ensuciarnos las manos no podemos pedir resultado inmediato de un legado de 75 años todos unidos pedimos un cambio piedra sobre piedra y peldaño a peldaño solo poder expresarnos es palaba de honor de nuestro jefe de estado te arrepentiras de todo lo que trabajas se te ira la mitad de todo lo que tu ganas manteniendo los puestos de copias piratas que no pagan impuestos pero son más baratas veo una fuerte campaña de tele y de radio promoviendo la union entre los ciudadanos mensaje de un pueblo libre y soberano IGUAL QUE TU MOLOTOV TAMBIEN ES MEXICANO!!!!!
(Nos quieren pegar pegar) So you think you gonna hit me (y nos la van a pagar) but now we gonna hit you back
Wow, sagas! Solo’s deed, civic deed. Eye dewed, a doom-mood. A pop … Sis sees redder rotator. Radar eye sees racecar X. Dad did rotor gig. Level sees reviver! Solo’s deified! Solo’s reviver sees level … Gig rotor did dad! X, racecar, sees eye. Radar rotator, redder, sees sis … Pop a doom-mood! A dewed eye. Deed, civic deed. Solo’s sagas: wow.
"The text is a palindrome by Nick Montfort that briefly retells 'Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope,' making Han Solo central. The palindrome is a revised version of the one Montfort wrote in 75 minutes for the First World Palindrome Championship, held in Brooklyn on March 16, 2012." – Posted at a site called Machine Libertine.
I love palindromes.
What I'm listening to right now.
Japanese Pop Stars, "Let go." The video is pretty cool. I had some tricolor penne with pesto and broccoli for dinner. I'm feeling tired – this new (old) exercise habit I'm trying to re-start is kind of … tiring.
We were talking in one of my classes about their mid-term test scores at the public school, in their various subjects – not just English. Then later, I was asking them about their “dreams” – as in their lifetime ambitions. The following conversation took place (with some minor omissions for coherence).
I asked one student, “What is your dream?”
“I need money. A lot of money,” he answered. This is typical for 8th graders. And Koreans. And Korean 8th graders.
“That’s not so easy,” I reflected. “How will you get a lot of money?”
He shrugged.
“That’s difficult,” a second student offered.
The first student said, brightly, “I got very lowest score in 도덕.” [도덕 (do-deok) is mandatory ethics class, in Korean public schools.] This seemed rather cynical, or else it was a clever joke.
He thought for a minute, and the discussion moved to other students’ dreams. But then the first student interruped. “My dream. I want to be a father.”
The room was quiet for a moment. The second student said, “Oh! That’s not so difficult.”
The girls in the back of the room giggled. I decided to change the subject.
…
I went jogging in the park by the lake tonight, after work, under a rising bloody orange gibbous moon. I love to be in the park at exactly 11 pm, when they shut off the outdoor lights. It’s still plenty light enough to see – the city is all around. And they don’t close the park – people are still around. But it’s suddenly much, much darker. It’s like a sudden chord change in some dramatic music. The feel of it changes.
What I’m listening to right now.
Gus Gus, “Starlovers.” Very weird, kind of groovy song. Creepy video. [UPDATE: the creepy video linkrotted into nothingness, but the audio track is restored via a replaced youtube link.]
An utterly unrelated, random picture from my archive, just for whatever. Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico, 2007.
Haha. I did something, today, that I haven’t done in about a year: I paid for music. I was listening to KCRW, and there was a track I liked. Normally, I respond to this by doing a youtube search for a posting of the track, and then I use a little conversion utility to grab an mp3 file of the audio part of the video – no questions asked. This is piracy, of course.
I have rationalized this behavior (or justified it, or something) with the excuse that, since having come to Korea, I have continuously run into problems which can be summed up by this paraphrase: “Sorry, [this music-selling website, e.g. amazon etc.] is not authorized to sell this material in your country.” After a few encounters with this type of barrier, I gave up, and became a pirate. It was too easy, not to.
But today, I couldn’t find this track in the youtubes, and so I clicked the “buy in amazon” link in the KCRW track-list; just for giggles, I went ahead and attempted the transaction, and lo and behold, it went through, despite my nefarious Asian IP address.
Damn! I might have to give up piracy. Amazon wants my money, and my poor citizenship in the capitalist machine just lost its backing logic. Ah, redemption.
Actually, I LOVE bad Englishes. As a descriptive linguist, I don't feel any need to correct them, when they memify. Rather, I feel a strong temptation to encourage their proliferation – because it's like I want to encourage linguistic diversity and language change. Well, anyway, there was a posting at Language Log about the "All Your Base" meme, and I was thinking about it.
What I'm listening to right now.
All Your Base Are Belong To Us – Youtube fan-techno, or something. Right. 물론!
Relatedly, while surfing the decrepit and latent links of LanguageLogLand, I ran across the most romantic nerd-poem EVER:
roses are #FF0000 violets are #0000FF all my base are belong to you
"I don't feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning." – Michel Foucault.
What I'm listening to right now.
João Gilberto, "Chega de Saudade." Lyrics:
Vai, minha tristeza E diz a ela que sem ela não pode ser Diz lhe numa prece que ela regresse Porque eu não posso mais sofrer Chega de saudade, a realidade É que sem ela não há paz, não há beleza É só tristeza, e a melancolia Que não sai de mim, não sai de mim, não sai Mas se ela voltar, se ela voltar Que coisa linda, que coisa louca Pois há menos peixinhos a nadar no mar Do que os beijinhos que eu darei na sua boca Dentro dos meus braços os abraços Hão de ser milhões de abraços apertado assim Colado assim, calado assim Abraços e beijinhos e carinhos sem ter fim Que é pra acabar com esse negócio De viver longe de mim Não quero mais esse negócio De você viver assim Vamos deixar desse negócio De você viver sem mim
We’ve been doing a lot of karaoke (노래방 [noraebang] in Korean) in class at Karma. We’re preparing for a talent show. I heard some girls doing a really pretty good rendition of this song, today. I don’t really like the song. But it’s stuck in my head, now.
What I’m listening to right now.
Bruno Mars, “Marry You.” The video isn’t the official Bruno Mars video – it’s something someone did for a film class, I think.
It turns out that some professors of ancient, extinct languages such as Babylonian, Assyrian and Akkadian (which are all related to each other and to modern Arabic and Hebrew) have decided to make voice recordings of Mesopotamian literature (including Gilgamesh!). These recordings are hosted at the University of Cambridge, here. I’m weird: I like this. I listen to them… without understanding them.
Meanwhile, I’ve been regretting the fact that I kind of dropped the ball on my efforts to develop an exercise routine, last fall. So starting today, I’m going to post a “daily log” as a footnote to my evening blog-post. Such as it were. I walked around part of the lake at the park, this evening, after work.
What happened to spring? It was hot today. Summer. What’s with that? Wasn’t it just winter?
OK. Whatever.
My Korean friend Mr Kim of Gwangju called me out the blue today. Why am I so bad at staying in touch with people I genuinely like and am pleased to interact with? Well, I’m glad he called. He was wondering why I never came to visit him in Gwangju. I gave some excuse about being busy… the fact is, I’m lazy and simply haven’t taken the time to travel down there. Maybe this summer, right? I have other people to visit in Gwangju too. Picture, at right: a photo of a painted outside wall panel of a temple I visited at Mudeung mountain, Gwangju.
What I’m listening to right now.
한동준, “너를사랑해.” 가사:
아침이 오는 소리에
문득 잠에서 깨어
내 품안에 잠든 너에게
워우우워 우워워
너를 사랑해
내가 힘겨울때마다
너는 항상 내 곁에
따스하게 어깨 감싸며
워우우워 우워워
너를 사랑해
영원히 우리에겐
서글픈 이별은 없어
때로는 슬픔에
눈물도 흘리지만
언제나 너와 함께
새하얀 꿈을 꾸면서
하늘이 우리를
갈라놓을 때까지
워우우워 우워워
너를 사랑해
내가 힘겨울때마다
너는 항상 내 곁에
따스하게 어깨 감싸며
워우우워 우워워
너를 사랑해
영원히 우리에겐
서글픈 이별은 없어
때로는 슬픔에
눈물도 흘리지만
언제나 너와 함께
새하얀 꿈을 꾸면서
하늘이 우리를
갈라놓을 때까지
워우우워 우워워
너를 사랑해
너를 사랑해
Out there in the wide, wide interwebs, there exist subcultures you never dreamed about. A blogger named Kottke reminded me of the world surrounding fans of My Little Pony. This includes people who take sound and video clips of the cartoon and make dubsteb music videos to post on the youtubes. This is called dubtrot, of course.
What I’m listening to right now.
My Little Pony – Rainbowstep (Skrillex Dubstep).
Does this even require commentary? It speaks for itself.
Careless, careless. shoot anonymous, anonymous
Heartless, mindless. no one, who care about me?
잃어버린 채 외면하는 것 같아 참을 수밖에 없어
눈을 감지만
마마! 이젠 내게 대답해줘 왜 사람들이 달라졌는지
아름다운 시절이라는게 존재하긴 했는지
이제 더는 사랑하는 법도 잊었고 배려하는 맘도 잃었고
등을 돌린 채로 살아가기 바쁜걸
명의 가면에 감췄던 살의 가득한 질시
끝을 봐도 배고픈 듯한
이젠 만족해?
* 우린 더 이상 눈을 마주 하지 않을까?
소통하지 않을까? 사랑하지 않을까?
아픈 현실에 다시 눈물이 흘러
바꿀 수 있다고 바꾸면 된다고 말해요 마마. 마마.
Turn back!
죽고, 죽이고 싸우고 외치고. 이건 전쟁이 아니야.
도와줘요 마마마마 마마마마 Turn back.
깨닫게 마마마마 마마마마 Rolling back.
박고 치고 편을 나누고 싸우고 이건 게임도 아니야.
도와줘요 마마마마 마마마마 Turn back.
Yeah-
Careless, careless. (마마) Shoot anonymous, anonymous. (마마)
Heartless, mindless. (마마) No one. Who care about me? (마마)
삶에 허락된 축복받은 날들에 감사하고
매일 새로운 인연들을 만들고
깨져버린 마음에 보다, 기쁜 사랑을 모두 함께
웃을 수 있다면
우린 더 이상 눈을 마주 하지 않을까?
소통하지 않을까? 사랑하지 않을까?
아픈 현실에 다시 눈물이 흘러
바꿀 수 있다고 바꾸면 된다고 말해요 마마. 마마.
Careless, careless. shoot anonymous, anonymous
Heartless, mindless. no one, who care about me?
익명의 가면에 감췄던 살의 가득한 질시
끝을 봐도 배고픈 듯한
이젠 만족해?
우린 더 이상 눈을 마주 하지 않을까?
소통하지 않을까? 사랑하지 않을까?
아픈 현실에 다시 눈물이 흘러
언젠가부터 우린 스마트한 감옥에 자발적으로 갇혀
0과 1로 만든 디지털에 내 인격을 맡겨
거긴 생명도 감정도 따듯함도 없고 언어 쓰레기만
나뒹구는 삭막한 벌판.
날이 갈수록 외로움만 더해져
우리가 인간일 수 밖에 없는 건 상처 받는 것. Yeah-
Nah. Just kidding. I’m not going anywhere. “Bye Bye Bye” is the name of a song we’re doing in the sing-along / listening comprehension CC classes, which I’m teaching to some of the elementary groups during the test-prep period. It’s by N Sync. I don’t like the song. But the kids seem to – not all of them, but some of them. And playing it, for them, going slowly, going over the lyrics, line by line. Well… it gets stuck in your head.
What I’m listening to right now.
N Sync, “Bye Bye Bye.” The sound quality on this youtube seems exceptionally poor, and that’s probably intentional – prevents redistributive piracy. But you get the idea.
It was a kind of gloomy, rainy weekend, and for once, I didn’t find the rain very comforting. The sky just felt heavy, without feeling dynamic as rain often does, at least for me.
I had fragmented dreams last night – I was trying to teach English to aliens. They kept having laser gun battles in the classrooms. Maybe I watched too much sci-fi crap over the weekend. Hm… maybe not so fantastical, though.
Utterly unrelatedly…
What I’m listening to right now.
효린 (씨스타) [Hyorin (Ssiseuta=Sister)], “널 사랑하겠어 [I Will Love You].” 가사:
내 뜨거운 입술이 너의
부드러운 입술에 닿길 원해
내 사랑이 너의 가슴에 전해지도록
아직도 나의 마음을 모르고 있었다면은
이 세상 그 누구보다 널 사랑하겠어
널 사랑하겠어 언제까지나
널 사랑하겠어 지금 이 순간처럼
이 세상 그 누구보다 널 사랑하겠어
효린 [씨스타] 널 사랑하겠어 Lyrics
어려운 얘기로 너의
호기심을 자극할 수도 있어
그 흔한 유희로 이 밤을 보낼 수도 있어
하지만 나의 마음을
이제는 알아줬으면 해
이 세상 그 누구보다 널 사랑하겠어
널 사랑하겠어 언제까지나
널 사랑하겠어 지금 이 순간처럼
이 세상 그 누구보다 널 사랑하겠어
널 사랑하겠어
널 사랑하겠어 언제까지나
널 사랑하겠어 지금 이 순간처럼
이 세상 그 누구보다 널 사랑하겠어
널 사랑하겠어 언제까지나
널 사랑하겠어 지금 이 순간처럼
이 세상 그 누구보다 널 사랑하겠어
널 사랑하겠어 언제까지나
널 사랑하겠어 지금 이 순간처럼
이 세상 그 누구보다
널 사랑하겠어
“콩깍지” is a peapod, according to my dictionary. Possibly, it has other, more slangy meanings that are beyond me. But I found this hiphop song with this title. I have no idea what it means. I can’t even figure out the meaning of the hiphop group’s name. In fact, I can’t understand anything at all, except a few isolated words. But it’s a fun song, I guess. I hope it doesn’t turn to be too crude or bizarre.
What I’m listening to right now.
배치기 [baechigi], “콩깍지 [kongkkakji].” 가사:
B.A.E.C.H.I.G.I 이제 나왔으니
모두 친구들에게 전하기
하던 일들 전부 stop 모두 집중 여기 spot
들어볼까 기묘한 그 이야기
뭉탁!
탁>
그 꼬라지로 나와 너네가 얼마나 버티겠냐고
그냥 하던 대로 가라고
가만히 서서 중간이라도 가는 게
두말하면 입 아프다라고 말하는데
배치기 배엔 기름이 꼈네
믿음 따윈 져버리고 지네끼리 건배
그리고 나선 도망가네 조만간에 절망감이란
포만감으로 휩싸여야 정신 차리겠네
무웅>
어떤 인간들은 내게 말하겠지
너 얼마나 잘되나 두고 보자고
완전히 Reset 된 배치기
이제 누가 아냐고 물어보라고
그나마 누렸던 인기의 맛만
본걸로 만족해 알잖아 만만
치 않은 이곳에 이미 한물간
니들이 발 붙일 곳 없을 거라고
무웅>
이거 정말 난리나 버렸지
아무런 생각 없이 전부 내쳐 버렸지
모든 게 다 뒤바뀌어 버렸지
배치기 인생살이 제 눈에 낀 콩깍지
무웅>
뜻대로 되지만은 않을 거다
그러다가 망한 애들 여럿 봤다
새로운 변화에 신이 났겠지만
장담하건대 넌 예전이 낫다
제풀에 꺽일 네 모습이 선해
반전은 기대마 알잖아 뻔해
더 신 나게 떠들어라 웃고는 있지만
초조함 숨기려 내 맘은 탄다
탁>
겁을 먹었냐고 천만의 말씀
거품 빼고 우리만의 길을 가고픈 것뿐
당차게 박차고 나와서
난 바로 이 네 박자에 몸을 실었음
내 길에 내기를 걸어봐라
내 미래엔 배짱부리며 배 내미네 째봐라 그래
내가 쓰러지나 봐라 부러지나 봐라
날이 지나 봐라 끝내 누가 남았나
이거 정말 난리나 버렸지
아무런 생각 없이 전부 내쳐 버렸지
모든 게 다 뒤바뀌어 버렸지
배치기 인생살이 제 눈에 낀 콩깍지
B.A.E.C.H.I.G.I 이제 나왔으니
모두 친구들에게 전하기
하던 일들 전부 stop 모두 집중 여기 spot
들어볼까 기묘한 그 이야기
탁>
서로 머리 맞대면서 많은 날을 고민했지
배부르면 봄날이냐고
까놓고 말해보자 우리들의 전성기는
언제부터 언제였냐고
몇 번의 박수로 우쭐거리며
살아나간 지난날의 우릴 반성하자고
죽이 되든 밥이 되든 피래미 시절
기억하며 아둥바둥 살아보자고
이거 정말 난리나 버렸지
아무런 생각 없이 전부 내쳐 버렸지
모든 게 다 뒤바뀌어 버렸지
배치기 인생살이 제 눈에 낀 콩깍지 예
Talking Heads, "Cities." From 1979's Fear of Music. I have found several cities to live in, over the years, taking the song's advice. Lately, the city I live in is Seoul, of course. Previous favorites included L.A., Philadelphia, Minneapolis, and México, D.F. Hmm, why am I saying this? I don't know.
I love the Talking Heads, even after all these years. They never get old to me. I guess you'd call them formative, or essential, or foundational to my musical taste and character. This evening, I ran across a great review at The Atlantic of a book-length review by Jonathan Letham of the Fear of Music album. This is what put this song on my playlist.
The lyrics:
Think of London, a small city It's dark, dark in the daytime The people sleep, sleep in the daytime If they want to, if they want to
[CHORUS] I'm checking them out I'm checking them out I got it figured out I got it figured out There's good points and bad points Find a city Find myself a city to live in.
There are a lot of rich people in Birmingham A lot of ghosts in a lot of houses Look over there!…A dry ice factory A good place to get some thinking done
Down El Paso way things get pretty spread out People got no idea where in the world they are They go up north and come back south Still got no idea where in the world they are.
Did I forget to mention, to mention Memphis Home of Elvis and the ancient greeks Do I smell? I smell home cooking It's only the river, it's only the river.
I have been known to log on to some chat utility or another (i.e. AIM or Yahoo) to interact with some long-lost acquaintances now and then. There are lot of bots lurking out there in these nether parts of the internet. Mostly, of course, one wants to ignore such things as bots. But the other day I was inspired, I decided to see what the bot had to say for itself. I was unimpressed, except by my own strangeness. I have changed the usernames to protect the innocent and the guilty.
bogybaggle: heya.
jaredrobot: really?
bogybaggle: hey! 21/femaIe here. you?
jaredrobot: robot. indeterminate age.
bogybaggle: NO i am not a bot
jaredrobot: i know. i am.
bogybaggle: hmm….. have we ever chatted be4?
jaredrobot: yes. we are one and the same. one mind. hive mind.
bogybaggle: oh sorry…. i am reaIIy forgetfuII sometimes. but anyways whats up?
jaredrobot: i'm suffering from an epistemological crisis.
bogybaggle: hey i have some pictures of me on my profiIe on this site if you wouId Iike to see them?
jaredrobot: i don't have the ability to integrate visual data.
bogybaggle:
yeah? ok weII you wiII have to signup there to make sure that your not a
kid because i have a coupIe R rated pictures on there
bogybaggle: but dontt worry it is completly free and easy to signup. heres the signup page https://[redacted]
jaredrobot: kid robot. you're a genius.
bogybaggle: A bot? not hardly babe. Are you?
jaredrobot: yep.
bogybaggle: when u get Iogged in then search for my profiIe bogybaggle.
bogybaggle: if u want to see my R rated pics. the gaIlIery password is xxxfun
jaredrobot: yes, mistress. i'm yours to command.
bogybaggle: brb. jaredrobot: that's what they all say.
What I'm listening to right now.
Bumblebeez 81, "I Come With Water."
[This is a back-post, written at the date shown but only saved in draft form for a very long time. I finally decided to go through and officially "post" a bunch of old draft posts lying around.]
널 처음 본 순간 난 울었어
견딜수가 없어서 널 가질수가 없어서
내 속은 푹푹 끓었어
금지된 사랑에 이성은 무릎 꿇었어
메마른 마음에 뜨거운 불이 붙었어
너무도 거세 우릴 끌고 가는 바람
너무도 천해 이런 너와 나란 사람
하지만 지옥같은 이 시한부 사랑이
영원을 약속한 천국보다 달콤하잖아
나 살던 세상조차 부셔버렸잖아
너 살던 세상조차 부셔버렸잖아
누구나 쉬쉬하는 제목부터 길고긴
이 뻔한 이야기의 결말을 난 알아
사랑의 파괴자 파렴치한 가해자
하지만 나 역시 운명이 남긴 또 하나의 피해자
날 욕하지마 나 사랑밖에 안했다
그 순간 유혹은 내 영혼보다 강했다
가질수도 말할수도 없었지만
역시나 내게 아름다워
내가 너로 인해 아파 할수있단 그 조차
내게 아름다운 You’re my Heartbraker
너무 달콤해 이 불편한 사랑이
어쩔때는 Sick 해 나란 사람이
질투가 나 먼저 널 가진 사람이
정말좋니 니 곁에 그 사람이
밤새 들이킨 술 땜에 머리가 띵해
사랑 노래만 들어도 눈시울이 찡해
너는 빙해 처럼 얼어붙었다
화산처럼 나를 채워 기분이 참 횡해
하루에도 몇번씩은 웃고 울어
이별은 언제쯤인지 너에게 묻고 또 물어
나는 아침 드라마에 주인공처럼
복잡하게 꼬인 사랑의 시나리오를 외워
넌 내 감정을 할퀴어 버리겠지
내 존잰 벌레처럼 밟혀 버리겠지
나는 간절한데 넌 항상 느긋해
이 초라한 슬픔따윈 삭혀 버리겠지
가질수도 말할수도 없었지만
역시나 내게 아름다워
내가 너로 인해 아파 할수있단 그 조차
내게 아름다운 You’re my Heartbraker
그럼 너도 알게돼
너 역시 내 마음과 내 생각과
같단걸 알게돼
Just stay with me
그럼 너도 알게돼
너 역시 내 마음과 내 생각과
같단걸 알게돼
Just stay with me
(간주)
따고 싶어 너란 저 하늘의 별을
맡고싶어 다시 너의 숨결을
왜 안고싶어 가질수 없는 너를
되찾고 싶어 절대 난 버릴수 없는 너를
잡고싶어 뜬 구름같은 너를
안고싶어 참 아름다운 너를
더 알고 싶어 수수께끼 같은 너를
깆고싶어 시한부 같은 사랑의 생명을
가질수도 말할수도 없었지만
역시나 내게 아름다워
니가 나로 인해 아파 할수없으니
그래서 더 아름다워
You’re my Heartbraker
You’re my Heartbraker
You’re my Heartbraker
Here is a translation I found. I can’t attest to its quality. And it doesn’t match up very well – I suspect it’s arranged differently or leaves out some of the choruses, etc.
I cried the first moment I saw you ’cause I couldn’t take it
My heart was throbbing ’cause I couldn’t have you
Rationality knelt down in front of forbidden love
The dry heart caught fire
The wind taking us away is way too strong
You and me are way too lowly
But this hell-like love with a time limit is much sweeter than the heaven with a promise of eternity
It smashed the world I was living in
It smashed the world you were living in
I know how this long and hushed-up story with full of cliches will end
heartbreaker, shameless perpetrator
But at the same time, I am a victim of fate as well
Don’t point your fingers at me all I did was love
The temptation at the moment was stronger than my soul
I couldn’t have you or give you up
But You are beautiful to me
Even the fact that it hurts because of you is beautiful to me
You’re my Heartbreaker
This uncomfortable love is way too sweet
I feel sick of myself sometimes
I am jealous of the person who took you away
Do you really love the person beside you?
I am having a headache because of the drinks I’ve had all night long
I feel like crying whenever I hear a love song
You freeze just like a sea of ice then drive me crazy like a volcano
I feel so empty
Everyday I laugh and cry over and over
I ask you when it will end over and over
I memorize a twisted scenario of love as if I am a leading actor of morning soap opera
You will claw my feelings
My existence will be crushed down just like a worm
I am so desperate but you are always relaxed
You will deal with this insignificant sorrow easily
I couldn’t have you or give you up
But You are beautiful to me
Even the fact that it hurts because of you is beautiful to me
You’re my Heartbreaker
Just stay with me Then you will see
You will see that you feel the same
Just stay with me
Then you will see
You will see that you feel the same
Just stay with me
I want to grasp you, the star on the night sky
I want to smell your breath again
I want to steal you, who I can never have
I want you back, who I can never give up
I want to catch you, who is just like vapor in the air
I want to hold you in my arms, who is so beautiful
I want to know you more, who is still puzzling to me
I want to have the life of love even with a time limit.
I'm really so very anti-social, these days. And I'm trying to not spend so much time online, during my weekend time. I had a pretty positive, relaxing day, but it wasn't what you would view as objectively productive. I studied Korean for a while. I read some books. Not whole books – parts of various books, including finally finished the first volume of the three volume history of Korea I'm working through. I wrote a little bit, and I cleaned my apartment's floor. I stayed off the internet for most of the day – which is a pretty major accomplishment, actually. Such is Sunday.
What I'm listening to right now.
미쓰에이 [Miss A], "터치[Touch]." 가사:
Album: 닫힌 내 가슴은 누구도 사랑할 수가 없다 그렇게 믿었는데 어느새 내 가슴이 열리고 있어 굳은 내 가슴은 다시는 설레일 수가 없다 그렇게 믿었는데 너를 볼 때마다 내 가슴이 뛰어 You touch my heart baby (touch touch) You touch my heart baby (touch touch) 부드러운 손길로 내 마음을 어루만져 (touch) You touch my heart baby (touch touch) You touch my heart baby (touch touch) 내 마음을 모두 다 다 다 가져 갔어 (touch)
상처를 주기도 받기도 이제는 정말 싫다 그렇게 믿었는데 너와는 왜 그런 일이 없을 것 같니 가슴에 상처가 나으려면 한참이 걸릴 거다 그렇게 믿었는데 어느새 내가 너의 품에 안겨있어 얼음처럼 차가워진 내 가슴 어느샌가 살며시 빼앗은 너는 따스하게 비치는 햇살 내 상처에 다시 나는 새 살 나도 모르게 어느새 너에게 기대 하늘이 다시 한 번 내게 기회를 준 걸지도 모른다는 생각이 내 마음에 들어 baby
I’m not sure if that’s really what this is. Does Korea have reggae? But I saw the term applied to this singer. I kind of like it, actually, despite not being a big reggae fan, normally. The genre assignation doesn’t seem exactly right, either, though.
Maybe it’s just this song.
What I’m listening to right now.
하하 [Haha], “그래 나 노래 못해 [geurae na norae mothae = so I can’t sing].”
Haha. Funny.
가사 [lyrics]:
그래 나 노래 못해
그래도 난 노래해
내 Soul과 My Feel로
그래 나 노래 못해
그래도 난 노래해
내 Soul과 My Feel로
예에헤
뒤에서 다들 그래
난 노래 하지말래
웃기고 앉아있네
노래할래
여러분 나 병에 걸렸어
이놈의 병 때문에
암것도 못해
성대결절에
내가 들어도 듣기 싫은
이 목소리에
노래 노래
그놈의 노래라는 병에
걸려버렸어
상처는 덮어두면
더 깊어지는 법
그래 나 노래 못해
그래 나 노래 못해
그래도 난 노래해
내 Soul과 My Feel로
예에헤
뒤에서 다들 그래
난 노래 하지말래
웃기고 앉아있네
노래할래 이렇게
라 라라라라라
라라라라 라라라
아버지가 말씀하셨어
신께선 모두 다
주시지 않는다고
그래서 세상은
공평하다고 인정했어
맘은 안 그래도
어린날 때론
세상에 주먹질과 욕도
맘껏 해봤어
잘못된 길의 지도를
만들었던 것
그래 나 노래 못해
그래 나 노래 못해
그래도 난 노래해
내 Soul과 My Feel로
예에헤
뒤에서 다들 그래
난 노래 하지말래
웃기고 앉아있네
노래할래
(몹쓸병에 걸려 누워있는)
(병실에도 흘러나오길)
(오늘도 살기위해)
(야근하고 있는)
(회사에도 흘러나오길)
(어둠과 꿈을 위해)
(펜을 잡고 있는)
(학교에도 흘러나오길)
(지친 영혼을 일으켜)
(세울수 있는)
(노래가 되길)
(더 크게 더 크게)
(더 크게 이렇게)
그래 나 노래 못해
그래도 나 노래해
내 Soul과 My Feel로
오~ 예
뒤에선 다들 그래
난 노래 하지말래
웃기고 앉아있네
노래할래
그래 넌 잘될거야
미친듯 잘될거야
세상이 몰라줘도
잘될거야
그래 난 잘될거야
죽어도 잘될거야
세상이 몰라줘도
노래할래
Yo como tú amo el amor, la vida, el dulce encanto de las cosas el paisaje celeste de los días de enero.
También mi sangre bulle y río por los ojos que han conocido el brote de las lágrimas. Creo que el mundo es bello, que la poesía es como el pan, de todos.
Y que mis venas no terminan en mí, sino en la sangre unánime de los que luchan por la vida, el amor, las cosas, el paisaje y el pan, la poesía de todos.
– Roque Daltón (poeta salvadoreño).
Lo que estoy escuchando en este momento.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood, “War (Long Version).”
Escúchenla, y lean su letra:
Oh no, there’s got to be a better way Say it again, there’s got to be a better way Yeah, what is it good for? (War)
Man has a sense for the discovery of beauty How rich is the world for one who makes use of it to show Beauty must have power over man (war) After the end of the war I went to devote myself To my thoughts for five to ten years and to writing them down War has caused unrest among the younger generation
Induction then destruction, who wants to die? Wars come and go what remains are only the values of culture
Then of course there is revolutionary love Love of comrades fighting for the people and love of people Not an abstract people but people one meets and works with When Che Guevara taught of love being At the center of revolutionary endeavor, he meant both
For people like Che or George Jackson or Malcolm X Love was the prime mover of their struggle That love cost them their lives…
love… coupled with immense pride love… coupled with immense pride
(Give it to you on top, now)
War, I despise ‘cos it means destruction of innocent lives War, means tears to thousands of mothers how When their sons go off to fight and lose their lives
I said, war, good god, now, what is it good for? Absolutely, nothing Say it again, war, what is it good for? Absolutely, nothing, listen to me War, it ain’t nothing but a heart breaker War, friend only to the undertaker, war
War, war, war, war War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing Say it, war, good god now, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing, say it, war
Oh no, there’s got to be a better way Say it again, there’s got to be a better way Yeah, what is it good for? War, what is it good for?
Regardless, it gave me a sort of a chill, watching this video: a sort of schematic narration of the overwhelming complexity of our world, its interdependencies, the way we exist embedded in multifold schemas that we don’t understand and are barely aware of. And in a very short story-line, there’s also an actual character created, which seems to possess the rudiments of personality and internal life – perhaps a la Sims. For some reason, I was thinking of Joyce’s Ulysses as I watched this. That might seem strange, but I believe some might see that there’s a sort of logic to it. “A day in the life…” and all that.
What I’m listening to right now.
[UPDATE 2018-02-03: Video replaced due to having noticed link-rot (old video taken down?).]
Röyksopp, “Remind Me.”
Plus, I like Röyksopp.
Now, tangentially – or perhaps in the mode of a constructive, philosophical supplement (and please don’t be alarmed if you don’t see the connection to the above, as I’m writing here largely for my own future’s perusal, because my reading happened to coincide with my discovery of the “schemanarrative”) – I will offer an extended quote from Fredric Jameson’s Valences of the Dialectic, on the topic of his “utopian hermeneutic” (the chapter is entitled “Utopia as Replication”; the “genealogy” he’s referencing is Nietzsche’s):
There is so far no term as useful for the construction of the future as “genealogy” is for such a construction of the past; it is certainly not to be called “futurology,” while “utopology” will never mean much, I fear. The operation itself, however, consists in a prodigious effort to change the valances on phenomena which so far exist only in our present; and experimentally to declare positive things which are clearly negative in our own world, to affirm that dystopia is in reality Utopia if examined more closely, to isolate specific features in our empirical present so as to read them as components of a different system. This is in fact what we have seen Virno doing when he borrows an enumeration of what in Heidegger are clearly enough meant to be negative and highly critical features of modern society or modern actuality, staging each of these alleged symptoms of degradation as an occasion for celebration and as a promise of what he does not – but what we may – call an alternate Utopian future. [p. 434]
I would only add that perhaps we have to remember that dystopias and utopias, both, are reliant on narratives that are essentially the same, and which may or may not be historical, just like Nietzsche’s genealogies (or even marxian dialectics of various flavors). Not historical, and not ahistorical – maybe a good word would be “pseudohistorical” – but why not just call it “narrative”?
-- I awoke from a dream this morning muttering,
-- "Well, I better to get to work
-- on that data warehouse."
--
-- The dream was one of those SQL coding dreams I used
-- to have a lot, when I was working as an SQL coder.
-- Screens filled with half-written SQL queries written
-- against the infamous ARAMARK datawarehouse (or my
-- surreptitious 2 terabyte copy of it that was running
-- on the "National Accounts Stealth Server" that I'd
-- constructed under my desk), in which I'd denormalized
-- the database to speed up pivot table queries of
-- various kinds. Dreams filled with feelings of anxiety
-- and urgency and frustration. I almost never have
-- those dreams, anymore - I haven't done a single
-- line of programming in almost 5 years, now. I'm a
-- happier and more balanced person, because of
-- it (though not perfect, oh no, I know).
--
-- But sometimes dreams do weird things, and this
-- early dawn, as my cold medicine wore off (I'm combatting
-- an unpleasant flu currently), I was plunged
-- into a vivid relapse of my database-hacking days. And I
-- awoke with a sense that I was behind on some ill-defined
-- but very important project, some report due
-- that day and the queries were running too slow, some
-- effort to find some ineluctable fragment of
-- information or some anomalous, dangerous data point
-- that the sales people insisted shouldn't exist and
-- would embarrass us in front of the customer, but
-- lo and behold, there it was glaring up from the
-- spreadsheet.
--
-- I made some of my Brazilian instant coffee, and
-- ate toast and an apple for breakfast.
--
-- Below is a dummy query from a SQL educational
-- website. Just to give a flavor or my dreaming.
DECLARE @PivotColumnHeaders VARCHAR(MAX)
SELECT @PivotColumnHeaders =
COALESCE(
@PivotColumnHeaders + ',[' + [MonthName] + ']',
'[' + [MonthName] + ']'
)
FROM dummy.dbo.ListMonthNames()
ORDER BY monthid
--
DECLARE @PivotTableSQL NVARCHAR(MAX)
SET @PivotTableSQL = N'
SELECT *
FROM (
SELECT
YEAR(OrderDate) [Year],
DATENAME(MONTH, OrderDate) as [Month],
SubTotal
FROM Sales.SalesOrderHeader
) TableDate
PIVOT (
SUM(SubTotal)
FOR [Month] IN (
' + @PivotColumnHeaders + '
)
) PivotTable
'
EXECUTE(@PivotTableSQL)
-- What I'm listening to, right now.
-- Kray Van Kirk, "You to me." There's no youtube or other
-- online video for this song. So... find your own copy - his
-- music is free from his website (I wonder... I should make my
-- own youtube. I wonder if he would object?
Everyone knows my plastic alligators. I had Kevin the large plastic alligator and a recent acquisition, Baby Kevin 2.0, in my EP2 classroom earlier today. I was letting the students “hold” Kevin, during class (portrait of Kevin at left). But unfortunately, one boy was having trouble not playing with Kevin as we were trying to listen to a CD of some listening dialogues. So finally, I had to take Kevin back.
“Hojae-ya,” I said. “Give me Kevin.” The boy made a sad face. “He can sit over here,” I explained, sympathetically. I placed him on the podium at the front of the class.
Hojae gazed at the plastic alligator longingly. “잘가 친구 [chal-ga chin-gu],” he said, mournfully. That means “farewell, friend.”
It was like the tragic ending of a sad movie.
What I’m listening to right now.
Punch Brothers, “This is the Song.” The rain was falling steadily as I walked home, but the air was chilly. It reminded me of the winter I spent in Valdivia, Chile (August-October, 1994). It rained for 4 months. Without stopping.
…Not the space agency: the hip hop muscial collective. It stands for “North America/South America.” Very inclusive.
What I’m listening to right now.
N.A.S.A. (feat. David Byrne, Chali 2na, Gift of Gab, Z-Trip), “The People Tree.”
I originally started watching these N.A.S.A. videos for the surreal animation – they’re all very interesting, each different, mostly creepy, but well-done. So don’t watch just this one video – there are lots of incredible videos. Note, however – all of these videos have vignettes in them that would qualify as thematically NSFW.
But I really like the music, too.
Here are some other videos I liked.
N.A.S.A. “Watchadoin.”
N.A.S.A. “Strange Enough.” This video doesn’t seem very well connected with the song, but maybe I just don’t understand the song.
N.A.S.A. “Money.”
N.A.S.A. “O Pato.” “O Pato” translates as “The Duck” from Portuguese.
I do “telephone teaching” sometimes, with the elementary students. Not very many, but about a half-dozen a week or so. I have some rules about how this works, since I designed the concept and suggested it as a way to build goodwill from parents (parents love the telephone teaching because they get to see their child actually using English on the phone – it’s a demonstration of the hagwon’s commitment to the students). So really, the telephone teaching is a sort of marketing gimmick more than it’s a valid pedogogical technique.
And it’s true that most of the students are pretty low ability. One thing that I do is that I ask the student to draw a picture based on something we’ve attempted to talk about. The conversations are pretty simple: “What do you like? What are you doing right now? What will you do this weekend?” Anyway, I tell them to draw something and present it to me the next time I see them. It’s a sort of comprehension test, too, then, since if I get the wrong picture (or no picture), I know they haven’t understood.
Jeonghyeon drew for me a Purple Cat and Yellow Lion, based on telephone instructions, on some scrap paper. She presented it to me yesterday, proudly.
What I’m listening to right now.
Madonna, “Frozen.”
I distinctly remember when this song came out, in 1998. I remember I was sitting in the Burger King in Craig, Alaska. The video and song came on, on the TV in the restaurant. It was raining outside. It’s always raining in Craig, Alaska. It’s weird how some songs associate to such vivid memories.
El grupo mexicano Cafe Tacvba siempre era un favorito. Tienen una canción sobre el tema de abducciones de extraterrestres que se llama “El aparato.” Mientras caminaba a casa esta noche, salió la canción en mi mp3. Miraba hacia el cielo, y ví unas luces detrás de los altos edificios, en el cielo coreano…
Lo que estoy escuchando en este momento.
Café Tacvba, “El aparato.”
La letra:
Ayyyy
Que hombre que maneja el aparato
cuando voltié lo tenía arriba
es una luz
Algun tiempo me dejó inmóvil
solo me quedó el zumbido
de la luz
Lo escuchaba en mi cabeza
en lengua extraña me hablaba
pero entendí
Lo juro que no había tomado
solo estaba encandilado
la hora perdí
Ay yo sé que vendrá por mi aay
y me llevará a un jardín aayy
Ayyyy
cuando me encontré con Pablo
fue que me contó esta historia
no le creí
Eso fue algunos meses
desde entonces que no lo vemos
mas por aquí
Ya no se ni que pensar
desde que llegó una carta
del hospital
Pablo tiene quemaduras
y ceguera permanente
no quiere hablar
Ay yo sé que vendrá por mi aay
y me llevará a un jardín aayy
Ay yo sé que vendrá por mi
y me llevará a un jardín aayy
I have two students who are sisters. The younger goes by the English name Sally and is in one of my lowest elementary-level classes, and the older goes by Emily and is in my most advanced middle school class.
Today Sally drew a picture to accompany some practice/review material that I had put together in a “comics frame.” I really like the picture that she drew, just because it’s really cute… and in my subjective opinion, it shows that Sally really, really looks up to her older sister – it shows in how the two figures are drawn, it shows in the fact that she decided to use herself and her sister in an otherwise free exercise (I gave them no instructions about who should be saying these things to each other).
Anyway… there’s no broader pedagogical intent in my posting this here. I just like the picture. The little dogs are very cute.
Meanwhile, what I’m listening to right now.
소녀시대, “소녀시대 (노래).” Girls’ Generation (KPop girl-group), self-titled song from self-titled song.
Here’s the lyrics.
태연: 날 아직 어리다고 말하던 얄미운 욕심쟁이가 서현: 오늘은 왠일인지 사랑해 하며 키스해 주었네 윤아: 얼굴은 빨개지고 놀란눈은 커다래지고 써니: 떨리는 내입술은 파란빛깔 파도같아 티파니: 너무 놀라버린 나는 아무말도 하지못하고 제시카: 화를 낼까 웃어버릴까 제시카,태연: 생각하다가 (yeah!)
모두: 어리다고 놀리지 말아요 수줍어서 말도 못하고 어리다고 놀리지 말아요 스쳐가는 얘기뿐인걸
유리: 날 아직 어리다고 말하던 얄미운 욕심쟁이가 효연: 오늘은 왠일인지 사랑해 하며 키스해 주었네 수영: 너무 놀라버린 나는 아무말도 하지못하고 태연: 화를 낼까 웃어버릴까 태연,제시카: 생각하다가
모두: 어리다고 놀리지 말아요 수줍어서 말도 못하고 어리다고 놀리지 말아요 스쳐가는 얘기뿐인걸
제시카: 조금은 서툰 그런 모습도 어쩜 그대 내맘을 흔들어 놓는지 태연: woo~ 바보같은맘 나도 모르겠어 모두: 그저 이맘이 가는 그대로 윤아: 어리다고 놀리지 말아요 제시카: woo~ 날모르잖아요 수영: 어리다고 놀리지 말아요
I recently saw the first episode of a show called Portlandia. It has a bit of a Seinfeldian vibe, in the abstract, but cross-pollinated by a lot of hippies and hipsters and other hip-related-objects. I've never lived in Portland, but I grew up in a kind of rural extension of Portland's culture-sphere known as Humboldt County, California. The show is an utter exaggeration, but the germ of the cultural factors parodied in the show is to be found in Humboldt, there's no doubt.
What I'm listening to right now.
Portlandia, "Dream of the 90's." Arguably, this video is NSFW – for semantic content.
Incidentally, I think I recognize that neighborhood in LA where they're walking around, in the video.
This wacky meme is ancient in internet terms, and I remember running across it a few years ago, but I didn't blog it at the time. I ran across it again recently, and, although it's in horribly poor taste, it really did make me laugh several times. So, without further ado, here is… Rainbow Stalin.
“Teacher is so handsome,” said the 8th grade girl, with apparent sincerity.
This could either be the kind of ironically meant “damning-with-faint-praise” remark typical of teens around the world, or it could be that this somewhat strange but cheerful girl was a fan of LEGO-people. I’d be happier to believe the latter. But who knows.
