Caveat: Yeh

I awoke from a very strange dream fragment, this morning.  Kind of disturbing, I suppose.  I was at some social function involving my fellow teachers and the administrative staff at work.  As usual, kind of tense.  Not a lot of fun, at least for me.  Anyway, the woman who runs the kindergarten (preschool) part of the school (I think of her as the other vice principal) said something to me in Korean, which I roughly understood.  Something about asking whether my Winter Camp classes were going well or not.  So I answered, "예" [yeh = yes].

This is universal, in Korea, this kind of monosyllabic affirmation, but it's not something you can deploy to just anyone.  It's used between equals, or to those of lower status.  Saying it to someone that is my senior, without any of the elaborate verbal curliecues that should come with it, however, is not always appropriate.  Because I spend so much of my time with children, however, it's kind of reflex, for me.

Anyway, the woman became very angry.  So all of that is realisitc.  If the dream had been realistic, she'd have said something like a mild reprimand, combined with something about how "Korean culture" is different.  This is what my vice principal does, all the time.  He loves to lecture about "Korean culture." 

But in the dream, the woman became angry.  Violently angry.  She came over to me, where I stood, and began hitting me against a wall.  It was frightening.  And then, all of a sudden, all the teachers were attacking me.  Even the ones I think of as friends or allies. 

Just a dream fragment.  But obviously, there's some anxiety going on, isn't there? 

Dreams are strange.

Caveat: 소낙눈

I awoke this morning from what felt like a deeper sleep than usual.

I logged onto naver.com and checked the weather forecast. I like that I’ve become a regular consumer of certain Korean websites – it helps my feeling of confidence about the language. The current weather in Yeonggwang: 소낙눈 [snow showers]. I guess there’s no larger point to this observation. It’s only a snapshot of my life, I guess. pictureI’ve felt really tired, lately. Nevertheless, I’m thinking of trying to run up to Seoul over the weekend. In two weeks, I’ll be nearing the beginning of my 2 week long “winter vacation” – I’m planning to go to Australia to visit my mother.

I had a really excellent class with my third graders, yesterday. Not because of any clever lesson plan, but because I felt like I really had the classroom-management issue under control. I had the kids working on their projects – we’re building model schools out of cardboard and paper – and then I transitioned to some work in the textbook we have, and then we transitioned to a game. The class wasn’t perfectly behaved – there was a moment when some of them were making “snow” out of styrofoam, by shredding it using scissors, and two of the boys were playing at “cows” (one of them gets on the floor and the other rides around on him – and yes, it’s my fault they call this game “cows”). But that’s the point. Although there were these incidents, they were under control for the most part.  They stopped working on their projects, picked up the trash and glue and scissors and crayons, and sat at their desks, all under my sole supervision. It’s enough to make one feel like a “real teacher.”

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Caveat: 29) 비겁한 생각과 말과 행동을 참회하며 절합니다

“I bow in repentance of cowardly thoughts, words and actions.”

This is #29 out of a series of 108 daily Buddhist affirmations that I am attempting to translate with my hands tied behind my back (well not really that, but I’m deliberately not seeking out translations on the internet, using only dictionary and grammar).


27. 비방 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
        “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to slanders done.”
28. 무시 함으로 인해 악연이 된 인연들에게 참회하며 절합니다.
         “I bow in repentance of the ties that become like an evil destiny due to ignorance .”
29. 비겁한 생각과 말과 행동을 참회하며 절합니다.

I would read this twenty-ninth affirmation as: “I bow in repentance of cowardly thoughts, words and actions.”

I’m not sure, regarding this problem of cowardice: I assume it means thoughts, words and actions that derive from fear. What is fear? I’m not as fearful as I once was. But in other ways, I’m still fearful: my tendency to avoid difficult social situations, especially, is still quite strong.

Lately, I been feeling very “bonded” to the landscape. The weather has been exactly like a Minnesota winter – a lot of snow and ice on the ground and roads, packed down and consolidated by periodic daily thaws and traffic and dirt, cold nights: I think yesterday morning was at least -10 C, everything feels “crisp” and it’s cold enough that the ice isn’t very slippery anymore. I walk to the bus station, I ride the bus, I look around… Korea seems extraordinarily beautiful, to me.

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Caveat: Time, Of Course

We started the second installment (“session”) of our Winter Camps English classes yesterday. Now, instead of first and second graders, we have third and fourth graders.  Sometimes these kids really surprise me with how smart they are.

I don’t know the fourth graders very well, but they have a reputation, as a group, of being the smartest cohort at Hongnong – especially the high-achievers who come to afterschool and vacation-time English classes. Anyway, the eight or so fourth graders and I were drawing pictures of “My Perfect School.” The kids were including a lot of humorous additions in their “perfect schools”: not only stores, restaurants and movie theaters (all to be expected), but also delightfully peculiar things, including graveyards, prisons, churches, saunas (meaning the ubiquitous Korean public bath-house type places, quite unlike anything in Western culture, being family gathering places), secret passages, subways, and more.

One boy had created something for his school called a “3D Room.” 3D movies are big here, these days, just as in the US. But I was surprised to see that next to his 3D Room, he’d also added a “4D Room.” I wondered if he understood what “3D” referred to, conceptually. I thought I’d give it a try.

I didn’t really try to teach the word “dimension” as a vocubulary item. I just explained, “front-back, 1; left-right, 2; up-down, 3.” I mimed the motions. “That’s 3D – one, two, three.” Then I mimed out, “left-right, 1; up-down, 2. That’s 2D. Like a television. Or a piece of paper.” I picked up a piece of paper. “Flat. Right?”

Then I asked, “So what’s 1D?” He quickly nodded, and mimed a left-right, motion, stretching out an invisible piece of string on his fingers. He definitely understood. “That’s right, a line. 1D.” I pounced: “So what’s 4D? front-back, 1; left-right, 2; up-down, 3; what’s next?”

The boy’s face was blank. Gotcha, I thought. But then another boy, sitting next to him, blew me away. “Time, of course,” he said. It was one of those moments when you realize the language barrier obscures some very, very sharp intelligences.

Awesome.

The picture: des dumptrucks at dawn, du jour.

picture

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Caveat: …y en un abrir los ojos nos morimos

El pájaro

En el silencio transparente
el día reposaba:
la transparencia del espacio
era la transparencia del silencio.
La inmóvil luz del cielo sosegaba
el crecimiento de las yerbas.
Los bichos de la tierra, entre las piedras,
bajo la luz idéntica, eran piedras.
El tiempo en el minuto se saciaba.
En la quietud absorta
se consumaba el mediodía.

Y un pájaro cantó, delgada flecha.
Pecho de plata herido vibró el cielo,
se movieron las hojas,
las yerbas despertaron…
Y sentí que la muerte era una flecha
que no se sabe quién dispara
y en un abrir los ojos nos morimos.

— Octavio Paz

Meditemos sobre la mortalidad, pero sea posible sin vergüenzas, sin miedos, sin acrimonios.   Destaquemos que siempre estamos solos en un universo lleno de vida, que el tiempo no funciona para nosotros sino para sí mismo.  No sé.  Leo la poesía, disfruto y padezco mi soledad a la vez, no tengo razones para vivir y sin embargo, llevo conmigo una firme compromiso… para vivir.  Así es.

Caveat: District 9

pictureI finally watched a movie I’ve been meaning to watch for a while.  District 9 is strange movie – I would describe  as a fairly transparent allegory for much of what ails modern (post modern), multicultural societies, most notably its setting, South Africa, but much of what it has to say works for the US just as well. The twist is that you have to imagine the allegory as written by, say, William S Burroughs. I kept thinking of Cities of the Red Night, as I watched it, for some reason. Anyway, I recommend it. I find it neither as “obvious” nor as flawed (in its disorganizatoin) as has been implied by some critics, maybe.

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