Category: Book 1

The conversation takes a wrong turn.
The mood slips down into a mode
of a defensive anger.
Words then transform themselves
into parries, thrusts.
Whence this attack?
Disturbing.
Seething.
Dark.

Chill night holds the trees
taut to her body like ghosts
refusing to die.

Twice a year, now, I get checked for cancer;
these dates with doctors, big machines and fate…
small fears begin to worm into my mind:
I can't retain a happy, easy mood.

It's just another year end, no big deal.
Still, you ask, what might portend,
where paths wend.

[daily log: waiting, 24 hours]

Clouds crumble and fall
dissolving into bland rain
what kind of winter?

Yesterday morning I rose, boiled water
for coffee, wrote some dull prose,
put on clothes.

I went to dinner
after work. Colleagues quitting,
others now starting.

Then, I took some words and placed them,
Face up, meanings showing.
Knowing what they meant, all humdrum,
Still you pondered, asking, why some
Words were missed: "It's snowing."

The gnawing cold was crawling through my clothes
The sky was clear, a stroke of artist's blue.

Some coffee and bread –
It's my simple morning meal.
Outside, silver sky.

Sun
rises
and slowly
illuminates
the snow-covered trees
lurking on the hillsides
until a lance of purple
and gold reaches out to just touch
the frosted edge of my window frame.

I said to them "Let's choose a song to do,
that everyone agrees is fun to learn."
They wasted over fifteen minutes while
deciding what they thought would be the best,
and then at last we started through the song…
a hand shot up: "This song is boring! Stop!"

[daily log: walking, 7.5km]

And then the day warmed –
snow turned to slush and melted –
Winter's first, springlike.

I could sit and sip my tea from its cup
trying to think or to see
like a tree.

Now, I crave something,
then I'll make it or buy it.
I eat nostalgia.

I have two neighbors, who both, it seems,
like to make noise. One plays keyboard,
repeating the same bland tune.
The other cleans her floor
with a rattling
floor sweeper thing.
Today, they
were in
sync.

Snow has fallen all around us.
Humans make their patterns:
Clear a path here, pile it slightly…
whitish drapes in tatters.

Right on the edge of the night, the dawn stalks,
perhaps turning time finite,
the sky white.

[daily log: walking, 8km]

Happiness an abstract yearning…
wonder what it means.
Then you know the world is turning,
seeing how time's engine's burning,
mood is caught, careens.

If you write down enough words, taking care
to craft them, at last some verbs
become birds.

Try to dream a world? I can't.
Nothing comes. A world is vast.

Clouds of crystalline and silver
breathe across the landscapes, crafting
angels made of sunlight.

No movement. No snow.
Stars. Cold air. Bitter wind. Stones.
Ice on the sidewalk.

A bowl of noodles suggests stability.
But it's not so stable. They get eaten.

[daily log: walking, 1km]

What city is this?
Chaos made of many streets.
A strip of cold grass.

sounds
that fail
to form words,
but just spill out
like torrential rain -
at some moments quiet
incoherent murmurings,
but then drumming against the walls,
aggressive, challenging all meanings

The moon is orange.
Not quite full. Autumn waning...
Frost lines the puddles.

So I left my home to walk to work,
saw wayward puffs of snow, spinning
and dancing in the strong wind.
A gray sky added rain.
The rain turned to snow
then turned to rain
turned to snow
turned to
rain.

With my angry words deployed, and yelling,
I ranted like some annoyed,
mad android.

All-seeing: alligator hovering,
like some god-like creator,
but greater.

Around me, the world unfurls itself.
I watch with curiosity:
Colors are bright and sublime,
people speak streams of words,
always new meanings.
But when I eat,
it's so sad:
food is
bland.