Caveat: A brief sojourn aboard Starship Ilsan

I’ve written before about what a strange place Ilsan is. I’ve compared it to a space-station, because of its modern artificiality. I’ve described it as “Sim City” because of its regular and somewhat boring urban plan. Its upper-middle-class, highly educated and “aspirational” demographics make it rather unique in my experience of Korean places, too.

pictureI went up over the weekend for a very brief visit to drop off my paperwork for my visa renewal with my new boss, for my new hagwon job that will start May 1. I was walking around this strange place that feels like “home.” It’s as different from Hongnong as Iowa is. It’s not even like the rest of Seoul, although I know there are other enclaves around Seoul, other “new cities,” that resemble Ilsan. But Ilsan seems unique because of its scale (more than half a million residents) and the vast regularity of its grid-like layout on basically flat land (in and of itself rather hard to find in Korea). Manhattan-on-the-rice-paddy.

I had a new insight, on Saturday, as regards my own strange “destiny” with respect to Ilsan. When I was young (a child) I would often draw maps of imaginary places. Ilsan, in fact, has some rather striking resemblances to the kinds of “designed” or “engineered” places that I often tried to create, based on my rather utopian-yet-gritty (if that’s possible), naive conception of urbanism – recall that I grew up in a small town and my relationship with cities was intense (I loved them even as a child) but limited (my parents did not love them).

So my destiny, in Ilsan, lies only in that it resembles a kind of “city as I imagined it” as opposed to being a “real” city. Perhaps this is also similar to (but not causally connected to) my strange feeling that Korean is a a “langauge as I imagined it” as opposed to a “regular” language, too. Not to deny the fundamental, external reality of either the Korean language or of the city of Ilsan. Just that they have certain striking predecessors in my imagination, and hence I feel a weird connection to them.

Now… if only I could “figure them out.”

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Caveat: Why Books of Poetry? What Is Fairness?

I awoke at 2:55 AM from a strange dream.  I was trying to explain to some Korean coworkers that I bought and owned books of poetry.  This seemed crucially important, somehow, yet I was unable to clearly communicate the idea.  And looking into the dream from the moment of awaking, it seemed mostly an absurd undertaking. 

My mother was there in the dream, too, although she said nothing.  More oddly, my Minnesota friend Mark was there, and "playing a Korean" – at least, for the dream – and thus not understanding my linguistic efforts anymore than any of the others.  The Koreans kept trying to change the subject of conversation to my age, my mysterious marital status, my teaching skills or my utterly inexplicable (to them) disinterest in consuming free food simply because it was free.

I felt a lot of anxiety after waking up.  We had yet another hweh-shik last night, and things have been getting tense at my school: yet another, new crisis in the foreign-teacher-housing. This time, anyway, it's more linked to my new fellow-foreign-teacher than to me, but it's nevertheless unpleasant to be around and it's a constant reminder of the ways in which I, too, have felt so mistreated by my school's administration in matters of housing.  I guess I could say that, lately, not a day goes by, these days, when the validity of my decision not to renew isn't constantly reaffirmed.

I'm worried that my school could probably easily find a way to throw some kind of obstacle up to my smooth transition to my new hagwon job that I've committed to for May.  I don't want that to happen, but I can't help but attempt comment to my coworkers, when they ask, about my perception of the unfairness of things with respect to the housing issues (the details of which I'd rather not go into). 

Somehow, these rather frustrating and vaguely fruitless conversations with coworkers, over concepts of fairness and ethical business practices, etc., of which I've been having quite a lot, lately, got translated in my dream into an effort to tell them about my habit of buying books of poetry.  Both ultimately may boil down to something absurd.

A rooster is crowing.  I don't mind that.  Darkness before dawn.  Cold apartment.

Caveat: 우리는 한국에서 있어서 나는 그렇게 그냥 생각했어요

Yesterday, before leaving work, my new main co-teacher, Ms Lee (no relation to my previous main co-teacher, Ms Lee) told me that we would have no class on Tuesday, because the kids were taking some kind of important test.  This is common enough.  So I was planning on coping with yet another day of  “deskwarming” – so soon after getting back into the swing of things with regular classes.
When I got here this morning, she came over and told me that we had classes today after all.   I had materials prepared, and so without comment I helped her get ready for class.  She asked me, “How did you know the schedule was changed again?  It seems like you already knew.  I only found out last night by text message at home.”
I explained that I knew that the schedule would change again.  She said, “How could you know?”
I answered, “This is Korea, so I just figured.”
She found this embarrassingly funny.
I think classes went fine, this morning.  I love the new group of first-graders – who I knew in kindergarten last year.  And the new second-graders are my old, beloved, hyper-rambunctious first-graders.
Meanwhile, the school’s administrative office is playing a lot of kafkaesque “imcompetent control and oblique obfuscation” games.  I’m trying to ignore that.  The kids are awesome.

Caveat: The First Day of School

The Korean school calendar works very differently from in North America. Sometime around the start of March, each year, the “school year” starts. Kids move up a grade.  Teachers start or stop contracts or migrate schools (except for us wacky foreigners). Moms (and even a few progressive dads) show up and take videos of little Iseul’s first day of school, as the kids nervously stand around in lines and formations meeting their teachers and listening to interminable speeches by authority figures.

It’s quite charming, in its Korean way. And having resolved that I’ll be moving on in two more months, I got very sappy and nostalgic watching all my much-loved first-graders becoming proud and yet strangely equally rambunctious second graders, and all my kind-hearted third-graders becoming world-weary and yet equally friendly fourth graders.

Here is a picture of the gym, as the kids did some high-grade waiting. They’re in rows, front to back, by class. Second-graders in foreground, with sixth-graders farthest away. Teachers standing facing at the heads of the lines.

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Lot’s of changes. New teachers. Some older teachers, gone. There is never much forewarning of these things – no one tells the foreigners much of what is going on.

We have new English department co-teachers. Ms Lee is gone – some kind of sabbatical, related to her planning to take a big test to become a qualified highschool level teacher next fall. And Ms Ryu, the English “department head” (such as it is) whom I like so much… she’s not gone, but she’s no longer in charge of the English department. Adjustments forthcoming.

Leaving school, I met Hae-rim’s brother (whose name I always forget, because he insists his name is “crazy monkey boy”). He had a large box in front of the stationery store at the school’s main gate. He opened the box. Hae-rim was inside.

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A passing random foreigner (yes, really, in Hongnong! – well, actually, it was just Glenn, the idiosyncratic Canadian who works at the middle school across the street) took our picture. Hae-rim, Jared, Crazy Monkey Boy. These are the kids I will remember very, very much, when I leave Hongnong.

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Caveat: 삼일 운동 – “the whole human race’s just claim”

pictureHappy Independence Day.

We herewith proclaim the independence of Korea and the liberty of the Korean people. We tell it to the world in witness of the equality of all nations and we pass it on to our posterity as their inherent right.

We make this proclamation, having 5,000 years of history, and 20,000,000 united loyal people. We take this step to insure to our children for all time to come, personal liberty in accord with the awakening consciousness of this new era. This is the clear leading of God, the moving principle of the present age, the whole human race’s just claim. It is something that cannot be stamped out, stifled, gagged, or suppressed by any means.

– from the Korean Declaration of Independence (from Japan), March 1, 1919.

I was thinking this pertinent especially in relation to recent events in the Arab nations. My understanding is that the leaders of the March 1st movement in Korea were at least partially inspired by Woodrow Wilson’s “Fouteen Points.”

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Caveat: And Suddenly…

And suddenly… there's internet at home.  And it's as if there had been no waiting, no inconvenience, and… isn't it nice that you have internet at home?  Oh, Korea is so good at giving fast, broadband internet to everyone, isn't it?

Um.  Yes… if you're willing to wait.  And wait.  And argue.  And wait.  And complain.  And wait some more.

I think waiting somehow works differently, from a sociological/psychological standpoint, here.  It's not that Korean people don't ever feel impatient.  It's that Koreans seem to forget, instantaneously, ever having felt impatient, once the need or expectation for which they were waiting is satisfied.  And so waiting is a problem only in the present.  The experience of having had to wait, once in the past, doesn't change or alter in any negative way one's current perceptions.  Waiting is not something that lingers after the fact like a bad aftertaste, as it does in the Westerner's imagination: where we then exclaim, with righteousness, "oh, I'll never do that again, because that waiting was unpleasant!"  The waiting is utterly and immediately forgotten.  What do you mean, it was a problem?  It worked out, didn't it?  How could there have been any problem?  Oh, you are so strange, can you be never satisfied?

Hmm.  As I continue to think this through, perhaps the issue isn't that Koreans wait differently, it's that they don't form resentments or regrets in the same way.  This is a promising perspective….  And it may be that by looking at it this way, I can understand better a small part of what it is I find appealing about the culture.  A culture in which resentments don't form?  Is that possible?  Isn't resentment something innate in human nature? 

There are different kinds of resentments, obviously.  Many (if not most) Koreans clearly resent the Japanese occupation, for example.  Many also like to resent the continued presence of US troops.  But no one seems to resent having been kept waiting by a service provider.  I mean… not one resents it, after the fact.  Of course, they will complain and carry on to no end, in the time while they are still waiting.  But after?  Not at all?  You mean there was a problem?

No one resents being told they have to work late today (when such a thing happens).  Yes, at the moment, I see the resentments.  The reactions.  But it's so quickly forgiven.  So quickly forgotten.

What is the difference?  Ah… is it, maybe, about in-group / out-group, again?  Offences on the part of members of the in-group (fellow Koreans, coworkers, service providers with whom you've been forced to interact repeatedly) are quickly forgiven, while offences on the part of members of the out-group are NEVER forgiven.  Unforgiveable, even. 

I don't know.  I'm just thinking "out-loud" here, I guess.

OK.  Enough of ranting on with inappropriate cultural stereotyping.  

The good part:  I have internet, now.  I wonder what kind of annoying thing will appear on my next bill?  Ah well.  It's just money, right?

Caveat: Day Two – Redemption Amid Snow and Orange Groves

[NOTE: This is the second part of a two-part blog post. The first part is here.]

I awoke at 6, only a little later than my usual time, despite the poor night’s sleep. I escaped the snore-o-mania and explored the hotel a little bit. It’s what Koreans call “condominium” but that’s not what it is by an American English definition – it’s a hotel for large groups, where you cram 6 or 8 people into each room that is a little bit like a small apartment.

One of my roommates seemed to have set up camp in the bathroom, so I went out to the lobby in search of a public restroom. Koreans have a habit of posting small inspirational sayings along the walls and stall doors of public restrooms. I enjoyed the one I found there so much, I took its picture. Maybe that’s because I understood it.

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"생각"을 조심하라, 그곳이 너의 "말"이 뒨다
"말"을 조심하라, 그곳이 너의 "행동"이 뒨다
"행동"을 조심하라, 그곳이 너의 "습관"이 뒨다
"습관"을 조심하라, 그곳이 너의 "인격"이 뒨다
"인격"을 조심하라, 그곳이 너의 "운명"이 되리라

[control your “thoughts,” as they become your “words” / control your “words,” as they become your “actions” / control your “actions,” as they become your “habits” / control your “habits,” as they become your “character” / control your “character” as that is your “destiny”]

I talked to Ms Ryu in the lobby for a while about the my feelings about last night. She was her usual upbeat self, trying to put a positive spin on things, but she seemed to understand.

The hotel is on the northwest coast of the oval-shaped island. I walked around and took some pictures. The day was windy and overcast.

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At 8:30 AM we all piled onto a bus and went to get breakfast. We had the famous “hangover soup” that includes ox-blood and lots of red (spicy) pepper and vegetables.

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I admired the Jeju City-scape. Well. Not really. Urban Jeju is exactly as unattractive as I’d always imagined it to be (as well as some very vague memories from a visit to the island while doing some weird training exercise in the US Army when I was here in 1991, although it’s much more developed now). Still, all the palms and citrus and stone walls made of dark volcanic rock reminded me of rural central Mexico. Except for the patches of snow on the ground.

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Then we drove to Hallasan. Halla mountain is the extinct volcano that makes up the center of Jeju Island, and is, incidentally, the highest mountain in South Korea, despite its eccentric location. It was covered in snow – between half a meter and more than a meter deep, packed down, in most places. Here and there on the trail there were places where the pack was weak and your foot would sink down 20 or 40 cm. But mostly, it was hiking on top of snow. Everyone was using something called, in Korean, “a-i-jen” which they allege is English, but I have no idea what it might actually be. They’re strap-on rubber and metal cleats for the bottoms of one’s hiking boots.

Not all the teachers went. The group that did – about 12 of us – was a core group of teachers whose company I enjoy. It was a redemptive situation, hiking outdoors with people I like being with. I went from hating the trip to loving it. Which is why I went, right? Because things can change, like that.

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I saw a child who seemed to be hiking alone. I love how independent Korean children are – it seems so at odds with the conformity in their culture, but I think on deeper reflection, it’s not. It all works together, somehow.

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At the top of the mountain, we had kimbap and ramyeon for lunch, and the 4-1 teacher had packed a bottle of whiskey. She shared half-shots around, in a paper cup. We also saw many crows (or are they ravens?).

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Stupid 138

Coming down, we saw many fine views.

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We also did some “bobsledding” on our butts. I wish I had pictures of that. It was awesomely fun, careening down the trails with a bunch of elementary school teachers acting just like elementary school children. It reminded me how much I have actually enjoyed skiing, the times I’ve gotten into that. Hmm. Well, maybe again sometime. Anyway, I recommend “buttsledding” most highly.

Finally, at 3:30, we met up with the bus and the rest of the group again.  We drove down to the south side of the island, past many orange groves.

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We stopped and had some spicy fish for dinner, and then arrived at the ferry terminal at 6:00, for the return trip to the mainland. Ms Ryu and Mr Choi insisted on one last photo op.

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The drive back to Hongnong was agonizingly slow, and I was sore (from the 10 km hike on slippery snow the whole way) and damp (from the buttsledding). We stopped 3 places in Gwangju City, and also in Yeonggwang, dropping people off. I finally got home at 12:20 AM. I was tired.

I’m glad we had a second day, and that we got to hang out on the mountain with no principals. So to speak.

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Caveat: Intermission (Three Rules for Mountain Hiking In Korea)

I have compiled these rules after many excursions with Koreans, in many different social contexts, and I'm fairly confident that they are adhered to by most Koreans to some degree or another.

  • RULE 1. If at all possible, try to consume alcohol while hiking. Getting drunk before setting out is bad form, but getting slightly plastered while on the mountain shows commitment and, most importantly, sociability.
  • RULE 2. If the first rule cannot be followed, it is acceptable to set out with a bad hangover, or after a night of very little sleep. Extra points are possible, of course, in the event that this second rule can be combined with the first to some degree.
  • RULE 3. If the first two rules cannot be followed, some credit can be garnered by using inappropriate clothing, shoes and equipment (or no equipment). This rule is mostly to accommodate those who cannot consume alcohol: youths, hardcore Christians, Buddhist monks, and the like. This rule should NOT be combined with the first two – if either (or both) of the first two rules are being followed, then it is much more important to be dressed fashionably like a mountain climber and have lots of appropriate (if somewhat superfluous) equipment. In fact, combining all three rules is rank amateurism and will result is glares of disdain from those following the rules correctly.

Caveat: Day One – “Go Home!”

The semi-annual Hongnong Elementary School staff field trip – an epic adventure in Korean cultural immersion, over two days.
The Named Characters.

  • Jared – yours truly, a-bloggin’.
  • Mr Moyer – the new “other” foreign English teacher at Hongnong, Casandra’s replacement. A nice guy.
  • Ms Ryu – the English department head (direct supervisor) and a 3rd grade homeroom teacher. My favorite person at Hongnong.
  • Mr Lee – the “vice-vice” principal (#3 in the school’s administration), a very kind and intelligent man, and a 2nd grade homeroom teacher (2-1). I like Mr Lee a lot.
  • Mr Choi – An older 2nd grade homeroom teacher (2-3), who has been very kind an generous with me.
  • Mr Kim – A 3rd grade homeroom teacher who will be retiring NEXT WEEK. He has been kind to me but I have sensed he’s not popular with the other teachers. He’s got some “short-timer” attitude and is very traditional. Also, he mumbles, and I’m not the only person who finds him hard to understand – the other teachers and the kids too, often have no idea what he’s going on about.
  • Mr Song – the school’s bus driver, an uncomplicated but friendly man, and maybe a bit of a “party animal.”
  • Ms Lee (I think?) – the really kind preschool teacher whose Korean I find eerily easy to understand. Perhaps she’s realized that if she talks to me like she talks to her students, she can be understood for the most part – she talks very slowly and methodically, with a kind of sing-song rhythm, and enunciates those difficult Korean vowels very clearly.

The Unnamed Characters (Korean culture can make it hard to learn people’s names. These are people I know and interact with by their roles or titles rather than by their names, although for many of them, if pressed, I could probably figure out their names).

  • The Principal – the king, on his throne.
  • The Elementary Vice Principal – the will to power.
  • The Preschool Vice Principal – the always-smiling queen, with her many highly cute micro-minions. Actually, all the preschool leadership and teachers are much nicer, more fun, and less machiavellian, on average. Probably, this comes with the territory.
  • The 6-1 Teacher – also the technology queen of the school, but she’s always so stressed out… so the school’s technology infrastructure suffers. Her English is excellent, however. Lately, since Haewon has left, she’s sometimes gotten stuck with translator duty, when Ms Ryu and Ms Lee (Ji-eun) aren’t around.
  • The Preschool Administration Lady – I don’t even know her job title, but I think she’s #2 over there at the preschool. She helped me with my internet problem last spring. Of course, now, I have a new internet problem. Sigh.
  • The 3-1 Teacher – one of the teachers I wish I knew better. I sometimes decide which teachers must be “great” teachers based on the collective behavior of their homeroom kids, and her class is one of my absolute favorites at Hongnong.
  • The 4-1 Teacher – the school’s main music-person. Very cheerful and positive. And another great group of kids, too.
  • The Social Studies Teacher – he’s a floater, like us English teachers – a kind of specialist with no homeroom. He’s a younger guy… I really envy the amazing rapport he has with most of the kids. I think he’s one of the most popular teachers in the school, with the kids, and he’s also extremely conscientious and kind-hearted with his fellow teachers. One of the new generation of Korean teachers that are of a very high caliber.
  • The Male Preschool Teacher – this is so rare in Korea that often the school staff refer to him in this way, as if it were his title. He’s a really nice guy and although he doesn’t often show it because he’s rather shy, his English is quite good.
  • The 4-2 Teacher (I think it’s 4-2 … one of the 4th grade classes, anyway) – this is the guy I would end up being, if I were a Korean. He’s full of rambling, intellectual trivia about history, science, culture, etc., and he will talk long after others have lost interest, but they keep listening because he’s also sometimes funny, not to mention the fact that he’s a nice guy.
  • The New 5th Grade Teacher – she’s so young and small, she could pass for one of her students, and, being at the utter bottom of the hierarchy, she’s the recipient of a lot of crap and mistreatment by the other teachers. I don’t feel like I have any kind of interaction with her, but I feel sorry for her sometimes.
  • The Quiet, Mysterious Administration Guy – he’s new, and seems to have replaced the man known as “the big-headed administration guy.” Or something like that, anyway.
  • The Tall, Bitterly Resentful Physical Plant Guy – he’s the one I pissed off last spring, with my complaining. One of the reasons why I don’t really get along with the admin office people.
  • A half-dozen other teachers, all female

A final note regarding the people: not all the teachers or staff attended. Many stayed away – and I understand their various reasons. But from what I’ve come to understand, staying away is only an option for those unmotivated, career-wise. So if you want to advance your elementary teaching career, you’ve got to play the politics, and that means coming on these kinds of trips.

The trip started at 11 AM. We piled onto a bus and drove off into the hazy, mountainous southern extremities of the peninsula. Snacks were passed out: tteok (rice cakes, both savory and sweet), almonds, beef and squid jerky (with dipping hotsauce), beer (I had one can). After about one and half hours, we arrived at a restaurant, somewhere between Naju and Jangheung.
We ate saeng-go-gi (raw beef) and other delicacies. I avoided alcohol, except for one shot of soju (soju, for those uninformed, is Korean drinking ethanol, a sort of vodka-like substance) poured by the vice principal.

The 4-2 teacher discoursed at length, on subjects including local history, the evolution of Korean agricultural practices, Thomas Jefferson, architecure, King Sejong the Great, Julius Caesar, the Egyptian political situation, and other topics I wasn’t even able to identify. Listening to him is a bit like listening to someone reading out loud from the Korean version of wikipedia. I only understand about 15% of what he’s saying, though. But I enjoy it, nevertheless.

When we finished lunch, we stood outside the restaurant while some of the staff smoked. There was a cat in a tree. The principal, entirely deadpan, explained that this was a rare Korean cat-tree, and that the cat in the tree appeared ready to harvest. This is the first time I understood one of his jokes.

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We got back on the bus and drove to the ferry terminal below Jang-heung. There’s a fast (hydrofoil) ferry that runs from there to the eastern tip of Jeju Island. The ferry terminal was very crowded, but our little group of people was well-organized, relative to the prevailing chaos. We boarded the ferry at about 3:30.

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The ferry is one of those environments more amenable to mass transportation than to sightseeing. They only allowed us out on the deck for a short time, and ALL 500 PASSENGERS wanted to be out there. It was crowded.

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The Male Preschool Teacher bought and passed out ice cream sandwiches with bean paste (kind of like sugary refried beans, a Korean favorite), in the shape of carp.

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Some of the male teachers and staff began to drink in earnest. A lot of soju was consumed, and some of the other teachers got seasick – but only the Bitterly Resentful Administration Guy got both drunk AND seasick. There was general amazement at Moyer’s ability to consume alcohol – perhaps I’d led them to believe that all foreigners are weak pushovers. But no… it’s only me.

We arrived at Seongsanpo around 6:30. Mr Song was waving and happy with his new-found friend, Moyer.

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The principal needed a cigarette.

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We got onto a new bus. We drove to a restaurant in Jeju City, about an hour west (a quarter of the way around Jeju Island, which is a little bit bigger than Oahu in area, but similar in its overall degree of urbanization, I would guess). The island is volcanic, and there was an extinct caldera hovering on the coast shortly after departing the ferry terminal.

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There are a lot of palm trees in Jeju, which strikes me an effort at horticultural fantasy on the part of the Koreans, for, although Jeju is at the same latitude as Los Angeles, it gets snow in winter even at sea level – I saw many patches of old snow alongside the road as the sun set.

At the restaurant, we had a very traditional dinner of hweh (sashimi, with some sushi and other seafoodish things). Moyer and Mr Song continued to drink soju.

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Many of the others were drinking heavily, but I only drank when required to do so by protocol (i.e. when the principal or vice-principal offered) and otherwise stuck to beer. I thus avoided getting drunk.

The principal, vice principal, and the preschool leadership began hosting the long, drawn-out process of having the various members of the staff come and sit in front of them and offer and be offered shots of soju. It’s rather ritualized.

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Meanwhile, I spent some time talking earnestly with Ms Ryu, and subsequently Mr Lee, about my decision to not renew. I shared my “decision spreadsheet” in its final form with Mr Lee, and he was very thoughtful, but he felt I wasn’t being fair in how I had made my decision. He, and later Ms Lee (of the preschool, and unrelated – remember, Lee in Korea is like “Smith”), both felt that the most compelling argument for my staying was one of continuity – for the kids. And in that, I am very much in agreement.

I found myself mulling, somewhat fuzzily, the idea of changing my mind. Which was their point, of course. I’m as vulnerable to flattery as the next person, and the three of them were piling it on. But then…

The worst moments came when I was ushered to sit at the table in front of the Principal, and he “talked” with me for a good 15 minutes, including many impossible-to-answer (almost zen-koan-like) rhetorical questions and remonstrances and possibly humorous cultural observations that failed to translate. One of the teachers with fairly good English (the 6-1 teacher whose name I always seem to forget) sat at my side and made some effort to translate as I got lost in his Korean.

Most of the specifics of his speechifying were lost on me, but I remember some things. A lot of it seemed to be, obliquely, about the fact that I wasn’t renewing at the school. He asked me repeatedly if I was able to understand “Korean culture,” only to repeatedly trap me in such a way that it was clear I did not, based on my failure to say the right thing to his questions or requests. He said he thought foreigners can never understand Korean culture, but offered few hints as to why. He did discuss the “we” not “I” issue. He told me that as far working in a Korean school, “it’s for the children” – I could hardly argue with that although so much of what they do (from my perspective) seems to forget children are even around. Things are structured so differently.

He complained that in fact, English is NOT important. It’s not a global language, he insisted. He expressed some xenophobic commonplaces about what “foreigners” and specifically Americans are doing in Korea. And his conclusion: “Jared: Go home” – this last in English.

Actually, given his age and geographical origin, I can easily imagine that 30 or 40 years ago, he stood in some anti-government protest and shouted this exact phrase at some gathering of American diplomats or US Army personnel. Anti-Western sentiment runs deep, in “red” Jeolla.

Context: He was very drunk. He always gets very drunk at these gatherings. Several teachers (including the one translating at my side and Ms Ryu, later) offered that as an excuse for his rhetoric. But I’m one of those people who believes, strongly, in the aphorism, “the drunk man reveals the truth in his heart.”

The principal showed his xenophobe credentials plainly. Not that I wasn’t already aware of them. And that’s that. Some people in Korea are xenophobic, and there’s very little that I can do, as a foreigner, except avoid those people and focus on the rest – don’t try to imagine you can change a xenophobe’s mind through some combination of argumentation or behavior. I don’t think it’s possible. In any event, in my experience, xenophobes are not a very high proportion of the population – maybe 10%.

Afterward, Ms Ryu began a song-and-dance of excuses, seeing the damage the principal’s behavior had done to any vestigial will to renew that I might have had up to that point. As she points out, it’s complicated. He’s not an unkind man, clearly, in his rigid, paternalistic, Korean-traditional fashion. He likes children, which is good to see in a school principal. He’s charismatic, which is great to see in a school’s leader.

Ms Ryu tried to tell me that the principal tended always to say the opposite of what he desired or believed, to those under him. For example, he would tell her that she did a bad job when he thought she did a good job, or that when he would tell her not to worry about something, this meant it was important. At some simplistic level, I might see this as being true. As an explanation that he presumes a kind of obstinacy in those around him – such that he is always compelled to operate on the assumptions of reverse-psychology… well, this struck me as more a coping mechanism on her part than anything with even a grain of real psychological truth in it. Ultimately, the idea that by “Go home” he meant “stay” is patently silly – it seems to be grasping at straws.

No. He said “go home,” and that’s exactly what he meant, from the depth of his Korean-patriotic heart.

Needless to say, I felt depressed. I wasn’t extremely drunk, but I wasn’t sober, either, and everyone knows, I’m not a happy drunk. I’m a moody, grumpy drunk. So the principal’s words combined with that factor to produce a very gloomy feeling for me. I lay down, and listened to my three roommates in my hotel snoring in synchrony (well, only after several had stayed up for several more hours still, playing poker and eating and drinking yet more).

I didn’t sleep well – Korean hotel rooms are always over heated, which I cope with when alone by opening windows, but with Korean roommates, this is not really an option.
Perhaps for the first time in more than a year, I found myself meditating on the possibility of simply giving up my quixotic “Korea project” and moving on to something else in life.

[this is a “back-post” added 2011-02-20.]

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Caveat: A Paleolithic City State with an Internet Connection

Sometimes I stumble on a pithy little phrase that I feel encapsulates some aspect of what life in Korea is like. 

Korea, as a country and culture, is a bunch of layers.  At the core, there is a group of mountain-dwelling hunter-gatherers, in a rugged, difficult climate.  That was thousands of years ago.  Add a layer of Confucian Chinese paternalism.  Add a layer of Buddhist soul-saving.  Add another layer of reactionary confucianism.  Add a layer of Japanese fascism.  And finally, a veneer of western modernity.  But all the layers are from the "outside" – the core is still this rather disparate, hardscabble tribe of hunter-gatherers.  This is evident any time you sit down to a Korean meal – everything and anything is edible, and, with some soy sauce and red pepper flakes, delicious. 

So some time back, I had coined a phrase to describe Korea:  "A medieval city state with an internet connection."  But my current revision of this idea is to take it farther back – to the paleolithic.  That's what I put in the title, above.  I really feel this, at times.  Korea is deeply primitive, yet in a weirdly post-modern way.  I like that, about this country.

Caveat: Glory

I happened to be walking across the Chukhyeop Hanaro parking lot on my way to the bus terminal, yesterday morning, 7:40 AM. I happened to look east. The sun happened to be rising. I happened to snap a picture with my camera.

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Caveat: northbound potatoes v southbound potatoes

When I traveled to Seoul last weekend, I took the bus. The Honam line buses all seem to stop at a single paired set of service areas along the tollway just south of Daejeon, called the Jeongan service areas. (Honam is an old word that refers to the geographical southwest of the Korean peninsula, including the modern provinces of Jeollanam and Jeollabuk).

When I travel, I like to buy junk food at the service areas – I see travelling as an opportunity to not be so strict about what I eat, maybe. I like to get 통감자 and 찹쌀도너츠 [tong-gam-ja = “potato bucket” (delicious roast potatoes) and chap-ssal-do-neo-cheu = “glutinous rice donuts” (chewy deep-fried balls of sweet rice dough)].

Well, it turns out that the northbound potato bucket is profoundly less satisfying and delicious than the southbound potato bucket. And the portion sizes of the donuts are much bigger on the southbound side, too. So I have to say, travelling south is better than travelling north, on the Honam line. At least it is for me.

Here is my southbound snack, on Sunday.

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Here is a random picture out of the bus.

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Caveat: Yeonggwang Skyline

I went to Seoul over the weekend.  Well, technically, I went to Ilsan, only passing through Seoul. I didn’t do much of what I’d originally planned. My visit with my friend who owns a hagwon in Ilsan turned into an impromptu job interview. I would say… it could happen, if we both take the leap to commitment.

How do I feel about this?

I had been focused on the idea of signing for another year somewhere in Jeollanam Province. Not at my current school – I have enough points of dissatisfaction that I was feeling it would be better to “roll the dice” and see what came up with a different public school down here. But, when I first came back to Korea last January, I had had mind set on working for my friend’s hagwon, but the job didn’t work out due to the financial constraints of my friend, the owner. So if there was any specific hagwon job that could draw me out of the public school teaching gig, it would be that one.

Additionally, I have been singularly unimpressed (not to say annoyed) by how I keep seeming to fall through bureaucratic holes in my efforts to follow through on this renewal.  I suspect my school administration is partly at fault, in this matter. But I don’t really know – I just know that while most of my fellow foreigners-teaching-in-Jeollanam (of the cohort that came in April of last year), I seem to be the only one that hasn’t been presented with renewal options in writing, yet. That’s just strange. What does it mean?

So it feels proactive, to just jump on something that seems more certain, more trustworthy. The other advantage is that I get to return to my beloved megalopolis. The drawbacks are easy to enumerate, too, however: the longer hours and less vacation time that goes with hagwon work, and the likelihood that my accelerated Korean-learning will decelerate, once I’m back in the “everybody-speaks-English-around-here-including-the-clerks-at-the-seven-eleven” land of suburban Seoul.

Well, anyway. I will be meditating on this decision. And it may fall through. I have to keep my expectations in check.

I took the bus back to Yeonggwang earlier today. Here is a picture I took from the bus, as we approached my current home town from the north: Yeonggwang Skyline.

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Caveat: The Commute to Work, part I: highway 23 and the market

Now that I know I’m not much longer for my current apartment, I decided to finally finish my effort to make a video record of my annoying yet also always interesting commute.  The commute logically divides into three parts (and, out of order, I have already posted parts 2 and 3): 1) highway 23 and the market, walking from my apartment to the bus terminal; 2) the bus ride from Yeonggwang to Hongnong; and 3) the walk along Hongnong’s high street to the school.

So here is part one, taken on my walk to work last Wednesday morning, January 5th. I made a “real time” recording and only did the most minimal editing, with jumps only for starting/stopping the camera. The music I added is what actually shuffled onto my mp3 player as walked. So it’s an effort at “shaky-cam” video realism, I guess. It’s probably kind of dull – but for those interested, I think it offers an unvarnished glimpse at the more banal aspect of life here.

 

Caveat: Snowmageddon, K-Version

The recent humongous snowstorm in the Northeast US was being called "snowmageddon" at The Atlantic website – which I thought was funny.  As an adoptive Minnesotan, the idea that anything under a meter of snow could shut things down seems rather weak-hearted.  But, that being said, Americans (except Californians and other Sunbelters) are actually pretty good at dealing with snow.  Koreans, on the other hand…

Let's just say that I don't think they really enjoy coping with substantial snowfalls.   Yeonggwang is allegedly much snowier than Seoul, but here we are, with less than 10 cm on the ground, and lo, I've been notified that school (or, er, Winter Camp) has been cancelled.  Heh.  Actually, I'm flattered and pleased that I was notified.  Then again… I would be willing to bet that Yeonggwang County possesses at most 1 or 2 snowplows, and I've never seen a snowplow in Seoul – even in the wake of the huge storm last January.

Yesterday, riding the bus home, I saw old men with green jackets ("citizen brigade" types) and carrying shovels, spreading salt on the steep hill on the north end of Beopseongpo – it definitely seemed like a hazardous highway condition – and I think that's probably a typical extent of Korean snow emergency procedures.

So, what shall I do with my SNOW DAY?  Sigh.  Not exactly a great day for going out adventuring, is it?  I suppose I could bundle up and go snow hiking.  We'll see how my motivational matrix develops.

Last night, for dinner for myself, I made some really delicious curried vegetable dhal, using some of my yellow split lentils that I'd bought at the foreign grocery in Gwangju quite some time ago. I will say this – rice cookers are the way to go, when it comes to trying to make dhal!  Amazing. 

Now I have a terrible problem, though:  my apartment smells delicious.

Caveat: Leaving Work On the Day With the Snowstorm

I had a bad day at work. The kids were hyper and distracted by the snowstorm, maybe. Or maybe I was off my game, for the same reason. Or who knows? A student, Geon-u, told me he hated me today. Sometimes, not knowing Korean might be an advantage – it was only because I understood his Korean that I felt badly about it.

So I felt melancholy. I took some pictures.

Here’s the view out the window from the hallway, right outside the door of the second floor classroom I’ve been using for my winter camps.

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Here’s my bus. It went very, very slowly. It only fishtailed once, on the slippery roads. I wore my seatbelt.

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Here is the view down highway 23 (looking southbound just beyond the traffic circle), which is what I walk down to get to the lovely middle-of-nowhere place where my apartment building is located.

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Here is a little house (business?) that always makes me think about the Boxcar Children novels.

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Here is my front yard. Which happens to be a gas station that is in front of my apartment building. And the home to many happy dumptrucks. Though that’s not why this blog is called caveatdumptruck. Just a coincidence, that.

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I’m home now. I’m drinking some Korean ginger tea. I’m watching some weird Korean reality show. I don’t understand it. The year will end, soon.

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Caveat: And I stepped out into a blizzard

It was a full-fledged blizzard when I stepped out of my building this morning at 7:40. Wet, sticky, dense snow falling sideways due to the strong north wind. I made my way to the bus terminal. By the time I got there, the snow had stuck to my long woolen coat and I looked like an abominable snowman. The Koreans were unimpressed. I caught the 7:30 bus at 8:01 – because it was running so late. So I actually ended up at work 5 minutes early. By the time I landed in Hongnong, however, the sun was shining. Men were throwing salt on the slippery roads, and arguing about something. My classroom is getting warm. The clouds, the clouds, at ten minutes to nine in the morning, look like sunset: silver, grey, white, gold. Blobs of snow packed onto the sides of pine trees.

Caveat: December 28th, 1990…

…was my first day in Korea.  Twenty years ago, today, I stood in formation for 3 or 4 hours outside the transfer offices of the 2nd Infantry Division at Camp Casey, Dongducheon, Gyeonggi Province, South Korea.  I was still in my dress uniform that I'd worn for the MAC flight over, and I was freezing my ass off.

I was a Specialist (E4) in the US Army.  A week before, I had completed training as a Heavy Wheel Vehicle Mechanic and Vehicle Recovery Specialist at Fort Jackson, South Carolina.  Rather than going off to Kuwait, as so many of y fellow trainees had been doing over the previous months, I got to take a week of leave, seeing my dad, step-mother and siblings in California, and now I was being stationed in South Korea.

I had joined the Army because I was depressed.  Seems like a crazy idea, but it was working out for me, weirdly enough.  At least, at that point.  I was very amazed that I had not only managed to complete basic training, but had gone on to graduate from advanced training at the top of my class.  I had gone from being a 140 lb weakling nerd to being in the best physical shape I'd ever been in my life.

Arriving in Korea was the next step in that adventure.  My first impressions were lasting ones:  a disorganized place that nevertheless managed to get things done.  The US Army in Korea seemed to be just as chaotic, vaguely corrupt, and disorganized, as the society which hosted it.  I've since developed the sociological theory that there is a causality there, and that it goes in an unprecedented direction:  much of the character of modern, crazy South Korea is, in fact, a direct legacy of the US Army's seminal role in the forging of the nation.   It explains so many things that blaming Confucius really fails to do.

The MAC flight had been mind-blowingly unpleasant.  MAC means Military Airlift Command – essentially, a charter civilian flight for the purposes of transporting military personnel.  I had left my dad in San Francisco on a civilian, ticket flight, and caught my assigned MAC flight at LAX.  The flight had then proceeded to stop at both Anchorage and Narita, Japan, before finally arriving at Osan air base.  I'm not actually certain it was Osan air base – it may have been Gimpo airport (Incheon didn't exist yet, as an international airport).  I think it was Osan mainly based on the fact that the bus ride to TDC (US Army acronym-slang for Dongducheon) was at least 3 hours.  If the arrival had been at Gimpo, it should have only been maybe an hour or two. 

The bus finally entered the gates at Camp Casey at around 3 AM.  And we ended up standing in formation, in the freezing cold wind and snow of Korea in late December, until the first light of dawn.  Perhaps they were trying to acclimatize us newbies to just how damn cold it can get in Korea – most US soldiers coming from balmy places like South Carolina or Texas.  Personally, I just think they were being disorganized.  I was exposed to plenty more of that, over the following year.

Finally, they let us go into the barracks.  They were very crowded – bunk beds, barely 2 feet apart, in rows in a quonset hut.  I had a Sony Walkman (yes, a cassette player – it was 1990), and I had 4 tapes:  Guns n Roses Appetite for Destruction, Nik Kershaw The Riddle, Kate Bush Hounds of Love, Peter Gabriel So.  That was my soundtrack, for my first months in Korea.  I remember the barracks being overheated, crowded, miserable.  I remember standing in offices waiting for paper work.  I had the lasting impression that the 2nd ID didn't know what to do with me.

In the end, I ended up with 296th Support Battalion, at Camp Edwards, Paju.  Which is why, even now, I refer to Paju as my Korean "home town."  Paju is the northwesternmost county against the DMZ in Gyeonggi Province, in the far north-west suburbs of Seoul.  And I loved the fact that when I eventually came back to Korea in 2007 to work as an English teacher, my job was in Ilsan, only 7 km down the highway from Paju.  One October day, a few years ago, I actually walked from my apartment to my old Army base – now abandoned and overgrown with weeds.

I grew to really, really hate the Army.  When I was offered an "early out" at the end of my year (the US Army was downsizing in the post-first-Gulf-War, post-Cold War era), I grabbed it and got the hell out.  But I developed and enduring love for the physical beauty of South Korea, and the seeds of my love-hate relationship with the culture and fascination with the language were planted.  I have deeply embedded memories of the fields and hills of Paju, which often provoke an undesired nostalgia – like remembering a home town that hosted a particularly unpleasant upbringing. 

There were good times – the long, rainy summer during which I had a "work detail" that involved me spending a lot of time with Korean civilians, off base, were perhaps the best.  Stopping at roadside bunsik joints, eating cheese ramyeon.  Zigzagging all over the pre-expressway highways of northern Gyeonggi Province, dangerously tailgating "kimchi rockets" – 2-wheeled tractors hooked up to trailers overloaded wtih cardboard or farm produce.

Rural Jeollanam, nowadays, where I am now, reminds me a lot of what Paju was like, back then.  Paju has been radically altered by subsequent development and urbanization – and so, except for the physical familiarity of the hills and roads, it doesn't really resemble my memories that much.  But everyday, here in Yeonggwang, some hillside vista will flash me back to the smell of gunpowder at the firing range at Camp Howze, or the icy winter marches through the pine forests bordering the DMZ, or the chilly spring afternoons spent using the winches on my "big green tow truck" to extract a Humvee mired in some annoyed farmer's rice paddy.

Caveat: A Snowy Christmas Eve

Just a regular day at work, day two of winter camps, having fun with first and second graders. I gave them puppets and we ask each others’ names: “I am Pig. What’s your name?” “I’m Hippo.”

It was snowing hard outside.  Well, it seemed like a lot of snow – mostly swirling flakes. All day. Only a few centimeters by the end of the day, today, though. I took some pictures this morning at school. Here is a view from the front steps.

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Walking home, this evening, from the Friday night foreigners’ hweh-shik (pizza, beer, trivia), I took this picture of a strange looking scooter missing its front end.

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Caveat: The Amazing Triumph In Which Bad News Came Embedded

I'm writing this as I ride the bus to work. Sometimes I do writing on the bus – it's a good use of the commute time. I save a file, and move it to my online cache or post it later. 

After my previous post, which was depressing in tone, I was meditating. Well… I was attempting to meditate – I don't really think that what I do counts as "real" meditation, although it might count, under some zen-like definitions. Mostly, I watch my monkeymind as it monkeyminds around, with a certain effort at detachedness. I was thinking, of course, about the upcoming Move. What worries me, most, about it? Well, I know which building I'm moving to – it's being built by the school. The school will be my new landlord. This is terrifying, because the school has a notably horrible track-record in managing other aspects of its physical plant. Therefore I expect, with 100% certainty, substantial problems in at least one of the following areas: utilities and internet (90% chance); appliances and things falling apart – despite (or because of) it being a new building – (60%); lack of essential furnishings (40%); plumbing problems (99%). Et cetera.

As I was thinking, however, I tried really hard to find and enumerate the positives. And there are quite a few, actually: 1) the commute will be reduced from 50 minutes each way to less than 5 minutes each way; 2) I will not miss living in Yeonggwang, which is still, by far, the ugliest town I have known in Korea – a country not noted for its attractive efforts at urbanization; 3) the chances that the new apartment is smaller than my current one are probably about nil; 4) I will save money on at least the commuting aspect – I'll be paying no more of the 3400 KRW daily in bus fares, which will add up over my last several months; 5) hopefully money can also be saved vis-a-vis the apartment billing too – my current building nickel-and-dimes me on mysterious building maintenance fees quite a bit – but with the school being the landlord, I might have more opportunity to push back on that kind of thing. 

But there was a real, amazing victory right in front of me, too. It was something altogether different. Yesterday morning, I went to bow to my principal in the morning, as I generally try to do. And after bowing, he approached me and spoke to me about this apartment matter – in Korean. That's how I got the confirmation of the rumor. Yes, I received the news in the Korean Language. Entirely. I even caught some of subtleties of the communication: "did I happen to know that…?" "I hope you'll be OK with…." And this is, upon reflection, a suprising accomplishment. I was receiving work-related news from my principal in Korean and I wasn't even really thinking about the fact that it was in Korean. I didn't understand everything – I never do: impressionistically, it's kind of "blah blah new apartment blah blah in february blah blah I hope that's OK blah blah." But I had no sense that there was some important ambiguity in the communication that I was missing. It was simply what he was telling me. And that was a linguistic triumph.

Caveat: Scorched Rice, Looming Relocation

Sometimes, when I’m at the grocery store, I will buy something that I don’t really know what it is, just because I’m curious to find out.  There are so many packaged snacks and candies in Korea that fall into the “I don’t really know what that is” category.  Monday, I was in the candy aisle looking for some candy to buy for our “English Store” to sell to our students, and I saw something that was called “누룽지향 사탕” – I still have no idea what this name means, since except for the last word, which means “candy,” the dictionaries and googletranslators are unenlightening.  But under this name, in small letters, I found the descriptor “Scorched Rice Candy.”  This sounded intriguing.  It’s hard to think of “scorched rice” as being delicious.  Or as being candy.  But it sounded very Korean.  I bought a bag of Scorched Rice Candy.  It’s not bad.  It really does taste like overcooked rice.  But of course, it’s mostly sugar, which makes it candy.  I wonder if there’s some kind of “comfort food” psychology behind a flavor like “scorched rice,” in Korea.

I found out yesterday that the rumors circulating that I would have to move, again, were true.  That will be my fourth apartment since starting work at this school.  I’m not thrilled.  It’s difficult for me not to feel a lot of anger and frustration over this aspect of my employment.  It definitely underscores why, no matter how much I like some aspects of Hongnong Elementary, I could never find myself renewing.  This is not to say that I don’t recognize that other schools don’t put their teachers through similar crap – it will be a gamble, wherever I choose to go next, and I realize that I could end up “losing out” and going somewhere with even worse problems.  My efforts to locate a school “ahead of time” where I might feel out what the job and living situations are like have come to nought.

The move date will be in February.  I wonder how complicated it will be?  I wonder how much extra of my own money it will end up costing me?  I expect I’ll find out these answers on the day of the move – certainly not ahead of time.  Sigh.


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Caveat: Just Some Pictures

I had my camera out during my morning ride with Mr Lee, and my walk to the bus station after work.

Mr Lee, removing snow from his car. My apartment is just off the right side of the picture about 200 meters.

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We dropped off Mr Lee’s wife at her work at West Yeonggwang Elementary, again. This is a picture from the parking lot, there.

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This is a picture looking back at the school, as we were driving away.

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These are a cluster of buildings near a crossroads about a kilometer from the school.

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This is at my parking lot / track / soccer field / playground in front of Hongnong Elementary (my school).

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This is Hongnong Elementary’s main entrance.

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This is walking down the main driveway of the school at the end of the day.

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This is one of my third graders, posing proudly with his trumpet.

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These are some girls playing with snow in a vacant lot on the way down Hongnong’s high street.

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This is the exciting Hongnong bus terminal (at left in the picture) at the south side of town.

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Caveat: Falling Down For Fun

The kids at school decided to use an extremely slippery, ice-covered ramp in the courtyard area as a recreational device during lunch break.

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Earlier, when I looked out my window at 7:40 am, this is what I saw. Dumptrucks. Snow.

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Walking toward the bus terminal, I saw one of the very, very sad palm trees planted in front of the Glory Hotel. Why do Koreans plant palm trees? I don’t think the palm trees like the climate.

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Then Mr Lee stopped by me as I crossed the traffic circle, and offered me a ride.  I met his kids, who go to Yeonggwang Elementary.  I met his wife, again, and we dropped her off at her work at Yeonggwangseo (West Yeonggwang) Elementary.  I had never been in that part of Yeonggwang – it was very beautiful with its fresh coating of snow, and reminded me of driving through rural southeastern Minnesota in winter – rolling hills, mixtures of hardwood and pine forest, stubbly pale yellow fields covered in white, grain elevetors, random rural hardware stores, etc.

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Caveat: Nuked While Sleeping

I haven't had a "nuclear war" dream since about 1984.  I had a few vivid ones, back then.   This dream I just awoke from was both vivid and weirdly cinematic, although also seemingly satirical, toward the end.

I was on a bus, going toward Hongnong along the expressway.  It wasn't the commuting bus, it was a charter bus – I had been on some work-related excursion with my fellow teachers.  It was dark, and the flash of the explosion was obvious.  It was like the sun was rising, to the west, out of the Yellow Sea.  I had no doubt, immediately, about what I was witnessing, although a lot of the other teachers on the bus, whether through ignorance or denial, had no idea – until cell phones started ringing, and text messages exchanged, and internets surfed via smart phones.

Then the reaction was disbelief, awe, shock.  Yet we continued to drive the rest of the way to Hongnong.  It seemed logical, partly – the town is nestled behind the mountain, protected from the nuclear plant which had been the obvious target of the blast.  And then the chaos, as the real sun dawned, Korean Army units moving in, people evacuating. 

The focus of the dream seemed to lie in the Kafkaesque confusion of what to do, where to go, who to meet with.  I was told that I had to go to my apartment (in the dream, my apartment was in Hongnong, not Yeonggwang) and that I was allowed to get one suitcase.  When I got there, I couldn't decide how to pack, and was thinking that it would have been so much easier to just tell me I could take only what I had on me.

Ambulances and then Army trucks were zooming around, delivering serverly wounded from behind the mountain.  There was some hotel on the top of the mountain that isn't there in real life, and it'd been right in front of the blast wave from the explosion.  The building had crumbled and fallen down the hillside.  Oh, ghastly. 

Mr Choi came into my apartment, and he was trying to read my books that I was debating packing.  And meanwhile, I was overhearing conversations, learning about where the bomb came from.  The bomb had come from Argentina.  Not even North Korea.

Argentina nuked South Korea?  Well, no.  It turned out that it was a disgruntled former English teacher.  Hah.  That's where the dream suddenly seemed satirical.  But the backstory was complex.  He was from a very wealthy family, and he'd spent his family fortune to acquire a bomb in Argentina using Russian and Argentine materials over a period of years, which he then delivered to Gamami (on the west side of the hill in Hongnong, next to the power plant) in a shipping container, where it successfully detonated.  His name was Edwards – a name that will live in infamy, according to some stentorian announcement on CNN.  Someone in my dream said to me, sardonically, "maybe not a good time to be an English teacher in Korea, now." 

And then I woke up.

Caveat: The African’s Snowball

Two sixth-grade boys ran past me in the courtyard. “Teacher! Teacher! African! Snowball!” they panted out, excitedly. But they didn’t slow down. They quickly disappeared into the back wing, toward the stairwell leading to the sixth-grade classrooms.

This was hard for me to understand. I was puzzled.

Until, a few moments later, Hwa-myeong raced into view from the alleyway between the storage building and the entrance to the boy’s bathroom. Ah. Hwa-myeong – our school’s only “ethnically diverse” Korean.  He’s Afro-Korean, or something Middle-Eastern, in his background. He’s a nice kid – a little bit hyper, but well-adjusted and quite popular. But his nickname, of course, seems to be “African” (the English word, “a-peu-ri-kan” in the Koreanized rendering). He had a large snowball. He was on the hunt. I got him to pause long enough so I could take his picture, as he posed, proudly displaying his weaponized snow.

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Here are some other pictures of our first snow.

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The weather was Minnesota-y, today. Meaning not the cold, per se, but the strangeness. It was quite changeable. Morning it was bitterly cold and snowing. By noon, the snow had melted and it was blustery. At 3 pm, the sky was like the bottom of a copper kettle, and there was thunder and lightning. There was a brief downpour of cold, cold rain. When I was walking home from the bus terminal at 6 pm, the sky was cloudless and violet-pink-blue-gold, from the dregs of the disappearing sun, and there was a sliver of crescent moon hanging peacefully.

My favorite first-grader, Ha-neul, presented me with a portrait she’d created of me, today. I was very pleased.

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Caveat: Gift Kimchi

My coteacher Ms Ryu gave me some homemade kimchi (by her mom, not by her, I think).  I took it home – I got a ride home with Mr Lee, the "vice-vice" principal.  The sun set.  I made some kimchibokkeumbap (kimchi fried rice).  I'm tired – the day was eventless, because all my classes were cancelled, because of a giant test that was taking place.  Such is life working in a Korean school.  I tried to plan out some lessons for the future.  I studied Korean for about 2 hours.  Really.  It might snow tomorrow. 

Caveat: Ritualized Humiliation

Yesterday at the close of work, I was feeling rather depressed. 

One thing that happened, was that after I finished my afterschool classes, which end at 4 PM on Wednesdays, I went over to the gym to try to put in a social appearance at the staff intramural volleyball event (which includes a lot of traditional things to eat, too, and soju and makkolli and beer and things like that).  I'm just rying to fit in, I guess.  Anyway, the volleyball game seemed to be in suspension, due to the fact that one of the teachers is recently engaged to be married.  She'd brought her fiance to introduce him to the school staff.  And after forcing him to drink some alcohol (common enough in Korean social events), they tied him up, put him on a table, took off his shoes, and began hitting him on the feet.  Hard.  I'd heard of this before – vaguely – it's some kind of pre-wedding ritual that is common.   Maybe like the way a bachelor party is a ritual that is common before Western weddings.  But, this being Korea, it's got a very strong component of humiliation, and seems to be a lot about establishing social chains of dominance… that kind of thing.  I felt more alien than I normally do.  I felt like I could never truly understand Korea.  I was very puzzled, and dismayed by what seemed the cruelty of it.  I felt I couldn't relate to these people who I worked with every day.

And then I got mocked in my efforts to speak Korean – by a group of students (not students who I have in any class – I'm not even certain they attend my school).  I just felt self-conscious and hopeless, in that moment.

I wrote yesterday that I'm not making progress on the things that are important to me.  Someone asked, what are these things that are important to me?  Maybe it would be a good thing to try to map these out.

Caveat: Looking for ghosts, finding spicy chicken stew

Last night I went out to dinner with my friend Mr Kim, the engineer from the power plant who I like to go hiking with, although lately I haven't done much hiking, mostly due to the neverending flu thing I have.  We also invited Haewon, my bilingual coteacher from work, who Mr Kim calls Ms An – she teaches an evening class at the power plant, and it was through her that I originally met him.

Because he doesn't get off work until after 6, I went home first and waited.  He called at around 715 and picked me up at my apartment.  It was extremely foggy.  Driving was strange – the regular Korean highway chaos, but in slow motion.  We went to this "middle of nowhere" restaurant (near the turn-off to Bulgapsa along highway 23, a few km south of town) and had a very spicy chicken stew. 

It was a night that would make a good setting for a ghost story.  When trying to find the turn-off to the restaurant, we ended up at some dead-end on someone's farm, with barking dogs and decrepit, broken, ceramic toilet fixtures and a mossy tile roof.  There were trees hovering off the ground through the dismbodying headlamps of the car.  The restaurant had this weird electric rainbow neon flashing outline going, and in the fog it looked like we'd stepped into a zombie video game setting. 

Talking with Mr Kim is different when someone like Haewon is around to provide translation.  It's more communicative, but less direct.  Of course.  It's good to have a reminder – for both of us, I'm sure – that we are not blithering idiots, which is what our respective language skills might lead each of us to believe about the other.

Caveat: Passing Notes – 메롱x3

pictureKids pass notes. I’m fascinated to see the contents of such notes, when I occasionally run across discarded scraps of paper in my classroom. Mostly, it’s because it can help me to learn snippets of colloquial Korean. The note pictured at left helped me to do that – my student Wendy uses the phrase “뭔소리?” (mweon-so-ri = what noise = wtf?) at the bottom of the paper. I successfully used this phrase to make my coteacher laugh only 30 minutes later.

But, as an English teacher, I was also amazingly gratified to find that the two third-graders in dialogue in this note were happily trading insults in English, too! The words “me lung,” by the way, represent Mihoe’s effort to romanize “메롱” (me-rong = nyah nyah).

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Caveat: Apocalypsis

When I emerged from my apartment yesterday morning, the sky was heavy and dark with clouds, what is described as black, but in reality they seemed a grayish-bronze color, but fractally textured, with highlights of silver and pink, and even flashes of blue and gold. The clouds seemed to possess infinite mass. It was the sort of sky that in Minnesota or Kansas seems to promise tornado warning sirens and airborne mobile homes. But Korea doesn't seem to get many tornadoes. Looking at the sky was like looking at a passage from the Book of Revelation, and, with the war hovering off the northern horizon in the back of my brain, I found myself imagining I could smell a hint of gunpowder in the air.

Caveat: Closet Koreanophile

I think one reason I don't always enjoy hanging out with "fellow foreigners," in my current life, is because of the unshakable feeling that I'm "in the closet."  In the closet about what?  In the closet about really liking Korea.  Most of the time, in my experience, groups of foreigners hanging out in Korea devolve into complainfests, during which nothing more is uttered than unending condemnations of some abstract Korean "way of doing things" and gross negative cultural stereotyping.

For me, it's all-too-easy to fall in with this style of talking and thinking, too.  Of course there are things that are frustrating or annoying about my life here.  But my perspective is that American ways of doing things, or Mexican ways of doing things (to name the two cultures which are most familiar to me, outside of the Korean one), are just as annoying or frustrating, and in some instances more so, in their own divergent ways. 

My problem is that as a sort of social chameleon, I just go along with it.  All the complaining is compelling.  But then I regret having done so later.  Negativity is kind of like alcoholism or something – you know it's bad, but social pressure drives you to drink, anyway, and then you regret it later.

When I try to buck this complaining-about-Korea trend – when I try to say something that focuses on the positive or points out the shortcomings of other cultures vis-a-vis the standards they're failing to enunciate – I end up feeling like a gay person in crowd of polite homophobes, or an agnostic at a Florida church meeting:  there's no open vitriol, but there's a sort of "uh oh, what's wrong with this guy?" with lots shaking of heads and snarky asides, as the other foreigners I'm hanging out with come to the realization they're in the company of a closet Koreanophile.

Hanging out with Koreans has drawbacks too – not least is that I tend to miss the ability to have deep, intellectual converstations, due to the generally lacking language proficiency.  But the negativity trap (and I'm openly admitting that I fall far too easily into this trap myself – it's not like I'm trying to blame others for my problem) is a dangerous one, for me.  I need to stay out of it.

Caveat: Why I’m Not Vegan

I should be vegan. But I'm not vegan.

At core, I am entirely sympathetic with both the ethical and health-based arguments in favor of a vegan diet.

RE Ethics:
I'm not even thinking in terms of the animal-cruelty / infliction-of-suffering issues. Those are concerning, but for me, they don't really offer a compelling case in and of themselves, because I suspect that, in the broader scheme of things, suffering on the part of individuals is inevitable – it's a part of existence. Do animals raised for food suffer more than animals in the wild? Yes, certainly, many times – especially in factory farming that is so common nowadays.  But animals suffer more in nature, too, sometimes. If we pursue this ethic to it's logical end point, we end up banning carnivorism from nature, and throwing tigers or eagles in prison.   Silly.

No, for me, the ethical argument is about sustainability, carbon-footprint, environmental impact. I'm one of those who believes the eliminating meat from the human diet would probably have more impact on global CO2 emissions than eliminating the automobile. Seriously – this is very likely true. If we want to have an environmentally sustainable future, we must, as a species, move toward a sustainable diet, and such a diet really can't include meat for 6~7 billion plus humans.

RE Health:
When I was losing my 60+ pounds (25 kilos) in 2006~2007, I did so, mostly, while consuming a vegan diet. I felt healthier, and it was much easier to keep within the calorie rules I'd set for myself. But several things favored that approach, at that time, including leading an almost entirely solitary lifestyle (not going out with friends, not having an out-of-home job e.g. I was working from home, etc) and living across the street from a very well-stocked and progressive grocery store (the Lunds in Minnapolis's Uptown).

The fact is, however, when it comes to actually practicing veganism, there are two contravening factors: my laziness and my character.

RE Laziness:
I am stunningly lazy. And being vegan in Korea (where everything you eat, when eating out, in infused with animal product; and where meat-eating is fetishized to an even greater degree than in the US – really!). Also, my laziness affects my ability to resist cravings and habit, too. I have a craving for, and a habit for, things like dairy products, especially. I just simply like them, and not eating them is hard. Kind of like jogging every day is hard. And so, because of my laziness, I don't do it. I buy cheese, and eat it. I keep butter, because I like it. I have tuna, because it's easier than making sure I've complemented my grains and legumes properly in every meal so as to get the right dosage of protein. Laziness.

RE Character:
I am socially a chameleon. I'm timid, in a way. I don't like to "make waves" when socializing with people, and socializing with people is often done over food. I prefer seek out moderation, and seek out the path of least resistance in social situations. And especially in Korea, declaring one can't eat or drink anything (anything!) leads to a lot of difficult excuses, white lies and justifications, for Koreans take near-personal offense if one doesn't eat or drink something on offer. Some in younger generations or who have lived abroad will keep their mouths shut about this, but the offense and confusion, even in those cases, is still there. Trust me.

It's very difficult for Koreans to understand NOT eating something.  Perhaps it's the fact that only 2 generations ago, starvation was common, even in South Korea. Starving people rarely make judgments about the suitability of different types of food. And I feel uncomfortable coming across like I'm judging other people, which any declaration of dietary rule-following tends to come across as – it's not my place. Character.

So I'm an opportunitarian. I never buy meat for at home, because I don't actually like meat, so not eating meat is easy for me. But I am unable to kick the dairy-products habit, and I keep eggs and fish, sometimes, too. And when I'm out, I'll eat whatever is given to me:  strange Korean things… raw flesh of animals and sea monsters, blood sausages, barely dead creatures, etc. I'm just trying to be polite. It creates a lot of goodwill in my hosts. That goodwill is important.

Caveat: Really, It Was the Crowds

Any Westerner who has spent time in Korea knows about the “subway ajumma” – the experience of being shoved or trampled by what one would initially expect to be benign tribes of elderly women. In general terms, Koreans have very few of the qualms or social constraints on pushing, shoving, cutting in line, etc., that are so important in typical Western culture. For the most part, in the subway, I’ve gotten used to this and it doesn’t bother me in the least.

Yesterday, however, I had decided to go up to Seoul and go hiking with my friend Mr Kim at Bukhansan National Park. There was something a little bit crazy in driving up to Seoul on Saturday night for what seemed the sole purpose of hiking and Sunday, and then heading back south again Sunday night. That appealed to me. Really, I think Mr Kim had some kind of important errand to run, and he decided this would give an excuse for the trip.

He has a small apartment in an excellent location in Seoul. I think it’s a sort of “investment apartment” – he uses is a few days every other month, or so, as a kind of dedicated hotel room up in the capital. I understand the investment angle – I’m sure, based on its location, that it’s worth a mint. It’s a few blocks from city hall, within the boundary of the now non-existent ancient city walls, near the “media district” (where the newspaper headquarters buildings are strung out between city hall and Seoul Station) and several universities that climb the hills west of downtown toward Dong-nim-mun.

We got there sometime after midnight, Saturday night. We woke up pretty early, but he went to run his errand (to the building manager’s office, he said), and we ate ramen for breakfast. We started hiking from the east side of the Bukhansan (in northeast Seoul) at around 9:30.

The crowds were stunning. It was like hiking in the midst of a migration of goats. I really wasn’t feeling that healthy, it turned out, either. Cold-like symptoms, and still not as energetic as I was feeling before my food poisoning, two weeks ago. After several hours, we ended up skipping the peak. Mr Kim was gamely pushing and shoving his way toward the top, but one elbow too many on a precarious-seeming ledge caused me to finally put my foot down and say, simply, “I can’t do this.” I think he understood why I was unhappy. We got away from the worst of the crowds on an alternate path down.

For future reference – be careful when opting to go hiking in a major national park located within walking distance of the Seoul subway system on a stunningly beautiful (if somewhat chilly), sunny November Sunday.

Here are some pictures.

Leaving my apartment, around sunset on Saturday night. The view southwest from in front of my gas station (which is in front of my building).

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Several views from the top of the building where Mr Kim’s apartment is.

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Some things that I saw on the mountain, despite the crowds.

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Looking toward my old home, Ilsan.

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The crowds.  Let’s all go climb a mountain!  Is this fun?

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An iconic image that I think well captures contemporary Korea’s spot between past and future.

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