Category: A Daily Tree

Caveat: Tree #1927 “A pathetic fallacy: a storm approaches”

A Daily Tree / Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

I’m really not doing well these days, at all. I mean, psychologically.

I thought once Arthur and I got back from Portland, I’d get to settle into a routine and relax a little bit, not have to be “always on.”

But in fact the store, which I neglected all through January, is demanding more of my attention than I’m able to give to it, and so it remains neglected, and the un-done tasks pile up and stress me out. Further, specific very annoying bureaucratic/financial crises have popped up (I’d prefer not to go into detail right now, but it may even involve a financial loss for the store, and it’ll have been my fault, there’s no way to blame anyone else), and I’m out of my depth, and no idea what to even do. The waiting and more waiting is the hardest, when dealing with bureaucrats of all flavors.

I just want to collapse, or run away and join a monastery.

This tree was blowing in strong wind. Along with other trees. The air warmed up. A storm is coming – likely to rain on our snowy/icy road and make it worse, not better, for driving on.

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Caveat: Tree #1926

A Daily Tree / Banalities & Journaling / Caretaking and Dementia / My Photos

It’s about 7 AM, Sunday, among the squawking birds of Far North Queensland. I don’t know what bird is what, by their sound, but I’m sure my mother would know. She knows all the birds in the neighborhood, here.

Yesterday was slightly stressful – I got a call that Ann had had another fall in the hospital. Apparently she’d been to use the toilet and had jumped up, forgetting that she was disabled. This hadn’t gone well, as is to be expected – she’d hit her head somehow.

Although the hospital was following “head injury protocol” (with frequent vitals checks and such), she seemed unaffected by the incident, and didn’t even seem to remember it. By early afternoon everything was back to normal.

She had lots of visitors. Friends Bonnie and Gwen both came by. I took a picture of them, with Ann and many other neighbors and friends, in 2019 when I was here with Arthur (link). And later Tash came by too. Tash and Ann and I attempted to play Yahtzee. It went better than the solitaire I had Ann playing the other day.

I ended the day feeling pretty gloomy. Mostly, I keep thinking about the fact that this business of losing your cogent mind seems really, really common as you get old. I don’t look forward to it. And certainly I pray that I can somehow plan things better for when it does happen. I think it might be smart if you just assume it will happen, plan out your life-as-elderly-person accordingly, and then consider yourself lucky if it doesn’t. This business of “it’ll never happen to me, it’s something that happens to OTHER people” is way too common in my family.

Here is an insolent gang of wallabies lurking at the top of the driveway, lookin’ to make trouble.

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Last year I stopped posting my “daily trees”. But here is a tree – call it an occasional tree instead of daily, I guess. I just like how it looked up against the sky.

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Caveat: Tree #1925 “This’ll be the last daily tree”

A Daily Tree / Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

This tree (I’d say you’ll have to select one on the ridge in the distance) was in Xalapa, Veracruz (Mexico). I took this picture in Summer, 2007.

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In a few days I will begin a major journey. I will travel to South Korea (first time since 2018) and Australia (first time since 2019).

I have been feeling strongly that this daily tree feature has become stale. I am suspending the daily tree feature on this blog. I might resume it at some point, or I might not.

Given how poorly I’ve done with posting other material, that really only leaves my daily poems. I’ll stick to those – they feel like a habit that has a stronger long-term reward.

During this upcoming trip, I’m sure that I’ll post some other materials, in the strictly diaristic mode, when possible.

When I get back, I’ll think about new ways to change things around and try to help my blog enter its 3rd decade in reasonable health.

[daily log: walking, 3km;]

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Caveat: Tree #1924 “Ascent”

A Daily Tree / My Photos

This tree was near the summit of Mount Halla (한라산), which I ascended with some coworkers on a “team-building excursion” in early 2011. It wasn’t a hard trip – there are groomed trails to the summit – but it is the tallest mountain in South Korea.

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[daily log: walking, 2km;]

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Caveat: Tree #1923 “Under the bridge”

A Daily Tree / Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

This tree is a guest tree from my past. I took this picture looking down from a pedestrian bridge near my work in South Korea in October, 2011.

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Art and I went to our back-to-back dentist appointments. These were actual dental exams with the itinerant Southeast Alaskan dentist (the island has no dentist of its own). Visits with the dentists are always fraught with a bit of anxiety, for me, as my oral health is tied in with my post-cancer monitoring. And dentists are always rather amazed at the reconstruction and scarring in my mouth. Anyway, it all “looks good” according to the dentist – and impressive considering the radiation and cancer and all that being part of my history.

[daily log: walking, 4km;]

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Caveat: Tree #1921 “The stoic”

A Daily Tree / My Photos

This tree stood stoically under partly cloudy skies.

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“City Sanitation Dept Guarantee: Satisfaction guaranteed or double your garbage back.”

[daily log: walking, 4.5km; retailing, 9hr;]

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Caveat: Tree #1919 “The protector”

A Daily Tree / My Photos

This tree is a douglas fir I planted two years ago. It’s not really doing that well, but it’s not dead. It’s being protected by a pink, plastic yard flamingo, which I’d placed last summer to protect it from Richard’s excavator.

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“If a child refuses to take a nap, are they resisting a rest? Or are they preventing a kid napping?” – the internet.

[daily log: walking, 2km;]

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Caveat: Tree #1918 “Moon meets lake”

A Daily Tree / Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

This tree (perhaps the one in silhouetted foreground?) was beside a lake under a full moon in the part of northwest suburban Seoul known as Ilsan (Goyang), where I lived for many years. I took this picture in June, 2011.

a view of a small lake in a large park with a full moon in the sky, moon reflected in the lake, a skyline of many brightly lit buildings in the distance, some faintly visible tree silhouettes in the foreground

I’m not happy these days. I feel too overwhelmed: the store (work), complicated family issues (mother’s health), my uncle’s cantankerous Spring restlessness…

[daily log: walking, 1km;]

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Caveat: Tree #1912 “Best at looming”

A Daily Tree / My Photos

This tree was really good at looming.

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“If you’ve been led to believe that you deserve free money for doing absolutely nothing… You may be entitled to compensation!” – the internet

[daily log: walking, 2km;]

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Caveat: Tree #1910 “전라남도”

A Daily Tree / My Photos / Quotable

This tree was on a mountain in South Korea. I took this picture while on a day-hike with a friend in southern Jeolla province, in August of 2010.

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“I am as unmotivated as someone who is so unmotivated they can’t even come up with a colorful simile to describe their lack of motivation.” – the internet

CaveatDumpTruck Logo[daily log: walking, 1km;]

Caveat: Tree #1907 “From the north side”

A Daily Tree / Life in Alaska / My Photos / Quotable

This tree (the one photobombing from the top) was on the north side of the bay.

A rocky beach in the foreground, and the waters of a southeast Alaska fiord, with a steep green shore opposite, in the distance, where some structures can be made out, including a house, a dock (with a boat)

I’ve never managed this view before. There’s a wide spot in the road, where you can stop, and a little trail down to the rocky beach, and you can look across the water at the City of Rockpit, which is my home. Currently the City hosts 4 residents – double its population only a few years ago (which is to say, our neighbors Brandt and Kim moved in next door, about a year ago).

Humorous quote found online:

To all the people that always said I’d never amount to anything because of my procrastination: / Just you wait.

CaveatDumpTruck Logo[daily log: walking, 4km; retailing, 9hr]

Caveat: Tree #1906 “Tax Day”

A Daily Tree / My Photos

This tree failed to pay any taxes whatsoever.

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Taxes stress me out so much. And I have to deal with taxes not just for myself, and the excitement of now being “self employed” and all the bonus paperwork that comes with that, but also, I have to make sure Arthur’s taxes are filed and in order. I’m quite annoyed with a thing called “DocuSign” – it’s a service used by accountants, financial institutions, etc, to do “online signing” of documents (e.g. tax returns). DocuSign asks verification questions to verify your identity. These are based on things like previously lived-at addresses, previously owned cars, etc. Well think about how this works for someone with memory issues (e.g. Arthur). It’s an accessibility nightmare! So for DocuSign, identity resides with memory, and loss of memory is a loss of identity. I’m not sure this is how it works from a legal standpoint, and it’s certainly not how we want things to work from an ethical standpoint, I don’t think.

CaveatDumpTruck Logo[daily log: walking, 4km; retailing, 9hr]

Caveat: Tree #1900 “A fashionable address”

A Daily Tree / Banalities & Journaling / My Photos / Working at the Gift Shop

This tree has a fashionable address on C Street in suburban Klawock, Alaska.

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I took the car to the mechanic today, while Jan watched the store. That went okay – the car needed a seal replaced on the transfer case, and I wanted to check the front wheel bearings and ball joints and such (weird noises sometimes on cornering, and it’s been a problem before). Plus oil change, and switch out winter to summer rims.

But overall it was a horrible day, with the trip to the mechanic being the only pleasant part. The store is stressing me out – ambushed by invoices, bookkeeping problems and overwhelmed by what feels like an impossible “more money out than in” scenario. I’m experiencing “buyer’s remorse” over this project to run the store.

CaveatDumpTruck Logo[daily log: walking, 6km; retailing, 7hr]

Caveat: Tree #1897 “Jumping the gun”

A Daily Tree / My Photos

This tree was near where I used to live in Ilsan, South Korea. I took this picture in October, 2017. It had a tendency to jump the gun on Autumn, always ahead of all the other sidewalk trees.

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I experienced a motivational deficit, today.

CaveatDumpTruck Logo[daily log: walking, 1km;]

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