Category: Banalities & Journaling

Caveat: The Job Situation

Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

A number of people have messaged me or sent emails:  "Jared, what's the job situation?"

So, here's a summary, so I don't have to tell everyone:  I didn't get the job I was hoping to get, but I knew it wasn't a "done deal" when I came here, so I had contingency plans.

Plan B is that I'm now looking for a job in Korea.  But, I'm not in a hurry.  Most (or very many) jobs start in March, since that's when the new school year starts for Korean kids.  And I'm prefectly OK with waiting until then.  I will take my time looking, and be picky about what I can find, at least for now.  If March gets close and still nothing, I'll get less picky.  I've actually already rejected one offer – it looked way too much like another LBridge in terms of excessive hours and unnecessary staff-room rules.

What I'm doing, instead, is trying to work on the Korean thing.  I'm really bad at learning languages – I know all of you think, "oh, Jared, he's studied linguistics, he's studied all these languages, he's so good at it."  Well, just to be clear… that last concept doesn't necessarily follow, logically, from the previous ones.  So, it's a struggle.  I look up the same word dozens of times in my dictionary.  It goes on my flash cards. And still, I hear it and wonder, "now, what the hell did that mean, again?"  Just yesterday I heard 모든 and thought, "I looked that up about 30 minutes ago.  What did it mean?"  I recognize that I should know a word, but not always know what it means.

Anyway, because of that, and because of my "Motivational Deficit Disorder" that I sometimes struggle with, starting around Feb. 1st I'm enrolling in a full-time "Korean Language Hagwon for Foreigners."  I think it will help structure my time, and give me opportunities to practice Korean with Koreans who will be patient and scrupulous with me, because they're being paid to be.

So, in fact, because that's a month-long commitment, I don't actually want a job before March 1st, at this point.  And that's fine.  It will give me time, hopefully, to find something that works well for me.  I'm looking at "after school at public school"-type positions, right now.  They're the latest thing, where, essentially, public schools are elbowing in on the traditional private hagwon market by offering their own higher-level supplemental coursework in the afternoons.

Caveat: Melting…

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea

It was raining yesterday.  And foggy.  And all the snow was melting.

Korean weather has been very weird for the last month (I missed the first part of it).  More Minnesota-like than typical, with lots of snow on the ground and sustained cold. 

Now, the weather is back to "Korean normal":  warm front came through, last several days, with rain.  Then, today, it's clear and bitterly cold.

Caveat: “don’t get caught up on this planet, man, these humans are crazy”

Banalities & Journaling

There's a rap artist I've been listening to, lately, called K-os (sounds like an operating system made by anarchists).   He has a track I really like called "Emcee Murdah" with the line "don't get caught up on this planet, man, these humans are crazy."  Great line.

So… it's cool, man.  Personally, I like this planet.  But I agree, the humans are crazy.

I had delicious take-out kimchibokkeumbap last night.

Caveat: Rosetta

Banalities & Journaling / Databases, Smartphones & Computers / Language & Linguistics / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

One thing I did before leaving the US, is that I broke down and spent a rather large sum of money on Rosetta Stone language learning software, for Korean.  I had a couple of reasons.

Firstly, of course, there is my desperation to somehow get better with Korean, and therefore a willingness to try new and different things, and spend money doing them.

Secondly, however, was that as linguist, I've been wondering what, exactly, they were doing that allowed them to believe themselves a premium seller of language-learning tools, for that's the way they market themselves.  Are they really that good?  I wonder.  There is so much in the way of really bad materials for language learning, devoid of any apparent familiarity with linguistic theory, often replete with errors and folk-judgements about things like sound change or grammaticality.

I've managed to work through the first 3 lessons of the first unit of my Rosetta Software Korean Level 1.  Here are my thoughts.

As software, it's extremely well designed.  Attractive, easy to figure out, intuitive, just as they claim.  My primary complaint with the interface is the speech-recognition tool… I got lots of answers "wrong" as I worked through it because it simply doesn't seem to "hear" me.  And it seems a little bit buggy in the way it handles not being able to "hear" you, leaping along and going "bing," "bing," (error, error) without giving you time to try again.  Also, A few times, I became frustrated with a new type of exercise and the lack of instructions on how to do it, but ultimately I recognize that this is part of the "method" being used: they want the user to solve each exercise, each section, as a little puzzle, and be engaged at a more-than-analytical level in using the language.

As far as awareness of linguistic theory, I'm less impressed.  They make the same sorts of grammaticality judgements as so many horrible  "beginning Korean" texts, and I'm not sure the focus on the highly stilted, fully inflected forms of the nouns is going to lead me to any kind of communicative efficacy, down the road.  Actual Koreans speaking actual Korean almost never use the kinds of singular-plural inflections they're teaching here, at least in my experience, for example.  I'll try to keep an open mind.

The single most frustrating thing is the speaking exercises.  Not just because of the wonky speech-recognition problems I described above, but because they give you little hangeul prompts for words to pronounce, but they aren't really useful at all — because they're not explaining or displaying or in anyway accommodating the extensive and overwhelming processes of sound change and syllable liaison that operate within Korean words and phrases.  I can figure out what they want me to do, because I have a degree in linguistcs and several years of effort behind me in sounding out Korean hangeul, but I think that if I was a typical, linguistically naive language learner, my simple, heartfelt reaction would be:  WTF!

I'm sure they have a couple lessons in the introductory part, where they're teaching you hangeul (which I didn't work through) — but honestly, exposure to the sound change and liaison rules is not the same as internalizing them — the software needs to hammer these rules home in these speaking exercises.  I've seen plenty of beginning Korean texts that will provide two "spellings" for each word:  a standard spelling and then a "sounded out" spelling that explicitly reflects the sound change and liaison rules in operation.  If the software did this in its presentation of speaking exercises, I think it would be a lot more transparent.  As it is, you hear a pronunciation and read the hanguel on the screen and wonder if the person narrating is looking at the same thing you are.

Lastly, I really think I'd have struggled immensely with making heads or tails of this software, if I hadn't brought with me the extensive background and previous effort in trying to learn the language.   I've already been exposed to much of the vocabulary, and all of the grammatical concepts being covered, on and off over the last couple of years, and most importantly, I'm comfortable with the Korean writing system and can recognize syllables at a glance.  And with all that, I'm getting only 85% correct on most of these units.  How frustrated would I be if I was coming at it "cold"?  I'd be giving up, is my guess, and muttering "impossible!"

So, that's my review based on about 6 hours of hard work with Rosetta.  I'll stick with it, if only because for me, it's very helpful with vocabulary.   But was it worth 400 bucks?  A tentative NO.

Caveat: 떡복기를 먹을 필요했어요

Banalities & Journaling / Food & Drink

Last night I needed to eat tteokbokki.  This is not the first time I’ve suffered this craving.  It seems to be strong on cold nights.  It’s Korean glutinous rice cakes, simmered with fish-sausage in a slightly sweet carrot-chili-garlic sauce, sometimes with some dregs of vegetables if it’s higher quality.  Served in bags or bowls on street corners for a buck or two.

Caveat: It’s OK

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel / Life in Korea

I was having dinner with my friend Peter out in Ilsan last night.  We went to the Hoa Binh (Vietnamese Pho seen through a Korean lens, roughly) at La Festa.  Talking about various things, I was feeling very patient with my current limbo. 

After eating I showed Peter the convenient 하이마트 (Hi-Mart) supermarket that's almost literaly across from his building, that he didn't know was there.  I used to shop there when walking back home from work, because it was right on the way and not out of the way like the other supermarkets I knew about. 

Peter and I parted ways, and I was walking to Juyeop station to take the subway back into Mapo-gu when I spontaneously decided to ride a bus instead.  I stood on the bus-stop island and waited for a bus to go by that had in its destination list a location not too far from where my guesthouse is (near Hapjeong).  I ended up hopping on a Number 72 bound for Sinchon.  Not super close, but I knew how to get from Sinchon to Hapjeong easily — it's only 2 stops away on the circle line and I've walked it before, too.

I felt very pleased and competent to be able to just get on a bus, at 9 pm on bitterly cold winter night (-13 C), in this vast, alien metropolis.  Meaning… it's not so alien to me. I know my way around.

It was a local route, and zigzagged through Ilsan, then Hwajeong, then Susaek.  It was about 50 minutes.  I listened to my mp3 player and gazed out the window.  Life is good.

Sinchon is Seoul's Greenwich Village, basically. Trendy, tons of shopping and nightclubs, a bohemian and university neighborhood.  I like walking through there, although it's so "youth oriented" that I sometimes get melancholy.

I took the circle line (green line #2) back to Hapjeong.   I'm craving tteokbokki really bad – it's great comfort food when it's cold — but I didn't see any places selling it on the walk back to the guesthouse.  Hmm, maybe tomorrow.

Caveat: Watching My Karma Unwind Around Me

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

I don't actually believe in Karma.  Not as Buddhist dogma would have it, with reincarnation and sankharas (sp?) and all that.  I believe we each carry a sort of karma within the frame of our own lifespan, as we make decisions, and those have consequences, and things we do to or for others are repaid in part or in full or passed along.  Creative expression is a means of extending the reach of one's own personal karma, in this respect.

I seem to have a tendency, in my life, to seek out and find myself in situations where I've deliberately created too many options for myself.  So many options, that it's very hard to make a move — I sit in a sort flux of indecision, like standing hip-deep in a stream and feeling the current tug at you.

So there I am.  I'm working on the job search.  But that's a slow, evolving process that requires a good deal of patience.  I'm working on studying Korean, but that's an even slower, evolving process that requires more patience than the Buddha himself has.  The Buddha may have lost his equanimity, had he decided to try to learn Korean.  Heh. 

I have a lot of "free" time, and I'm not spending it well. 

Caveat: What we’re here for

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea / Quotable

OK, I was in limbo for 4 days, and then, this:   discouragement.

I always understood it wasn't a "done deal."  So Curt broke the news to me last night… he can't hire me.  I believe he's sincere when he says he wants to, but he just can't take on the financial burden of hiring a foreigner on an E2 visa — the financial burden in such cases isn't just the matter of my salary (which I was happily and willingly negotiating downward) but a matter of business licenses and legal compliances and such like.   So, in the end, it's too much for his small, start-up hagwon to take on.  Easier and cheaper to hire Korean nationals and/or F-series visa holders who are free to take whatever job they wish.   Curt and I will remain friends, I hope… he has been very kind to me.

Meanwhile, I face one of those flexion points:  what next?   Plan B.  I must plunge into the job market in earnest, because it is truly my intention to stay in Korea.  It will take a lot of further disappointments before I give up and go with plan C.  

I spent some time surveying the online classifieds this morning for the Korean ESL market.  I don't think I need to be that worried… there seems to be an awful lot out there.  Given I'm flexible on location and pay, I should find something.  But of course, there's the gumption trap of getting started.

I've updated my resume, and I really should try to put together one of those "sample teaching videos" I'd been plotting last summer, but then kind of dropped.   I could post it somewhere for potential employers to see.

I've rented a cellphone, finally… this business of trying to get a pre-paid phone (which is cheaper than a rental) on a lowly tourist visa is annoyingly impossible, as far as I've figured out.  I'll put my phone number on resume and facebook if anyone wants to call.

Lastly, one more bit of… argh.

I was up at 5 am, this morning, which has been my wakeup time since settling down from the jet-lag.  It's not going to be optimal, if I get an afternoon teaching job, but I'm very adjustable, that way — it just takes time.   Anyway… this guesthouse I'm staying in is my favorite so far of the various I've sampled in Seoul.  It's a bit of the atmosphere of the Casa, where I worked in Mexico City in the 80s (and have stayed there many times since).  Of course, it doesn't have the same lefty-liberal bent, here, that prevails at the Casa.   So you run into travelers, mostly Japanese and "westerners," and you have occasional conversations.

I had one at 5 am, with this scraggly but friendly fellow American.  He was surprised to see someone else up and about.  I mentioned my jetlag, briefly, and he was shocked I was "getting up" rather than ending my day.  Of course, Koreans are night-owls, so anyone adapted to Korean lifestyle would find it odd, too.  But as the conversation progressed, there was this weird, judgemental tone.  Like somehow I was morally deficient because I was failing to stay up late and go out drinking each night.  "Man, that's what everyone does, in Korea."  Well, yes… and, no.

I felt annoyed.  I began to feel that this guy, he's exactly the sort of ugly American that is partly why so many Koreans dislike or distrust "foreigners."  And then, the icing on the cake:

The conversation had drifted to what I was doing.  The job-hunt.   I was mulling the fact that I wasn't being very productive.  You know, voicing my guilt-feelings, I guess.  And his response was quick and aggressive, locker-room toned: "Yeah, man.  But that's not what we're here for, is it?"   We're not here for being productive?  And.. the alternatives?

No wonder so many Koreans see us Americans as lazy.  Sigh.

So.  파이팅!

Caveat: Lurking

Banalities & Journaling

I don't think I have the flu.  I think somehow, my body decided that now was finally a time to try to get some rest.  I know it seems silly, but although all that traveling around and visiting people was great fun, it wasn't very relaxing.

I came out of that meditation thing on the 20th of December feeling very centered and relaxed — and in that sense, despite all my complaining about the Buddhist dogma and all that, it was good for me.  But from then until now I've been pushing very hard.

Anyway, I have had zero motivation.  My friend Curt has placed me in a "wait a few days" limbo around the job prospect.  There's enough positive outlook, that I don't feel justified in going whole out into a job search for other options, but it's hard to just wait.  So I have become a lurker, temporarily.  Doing some reading.  Doing some studying.  Enjoying some walks in the slush and brisk cold of wintery Seoul's Mapo-gu area where my little guesthouse is. 

Caveat: Faceplant, Fragility

Banalities & Journaling

Yesterday, walking, I slipped on the ice and fell down.  Hard.  Faceplant on the icey sidewalk which had recently been dusted with a thin layer of fresh snow. 

No excuses… it was just bad luck and poor coordination.  Always, such things are embarrassing, but more so, in Korea as foreigner, where people already stare at you simply for existing.  A woman was very concerned, and it was odd, once I'd done the basic inventory to make sure that I was in one piece, but I found myself feeling pleased that I was communicating (not well, but communicating) that I was fine in Korean:  괜찮아요, 네, 괜찮아요.

I had a bit of a scrape to my face, but it wasn't bad … mostly a blow to the ego.  My wrist hurt, because of how I'd fallen, but it didn't seem bad.  A scrape on the hand, more than on the face but not so publicly visible, so less annoying.

It wasn't until I got back to my little room in the guesthouse that my wrist really started hurting.  I began to worry I'd fractured something.  I held it out, next to the other hand, and looked for swelling.  I carefully felt each part, to identify where the pain was, and decided it was the tendons on the back of wrist that had gotten damaged.  But the pain was pretty bad.  I took some ibuprofin, and lay in my bed in the dark contemplating buying a couple bottles of soju and drinking them to pass out.

I thought, if it's like this tomorrow, I'll have to got to a hospital.  And my life, right then, felt very fragile.  All the contentment, all the comfort with just being out  waiting for whatever's next, all that was missing.  I just felt awful.

But in the morning, my wrist felt better, though not perfect.  That confirmed that I hadn't broken anything… especially when I found I could type fine, again. 

[this is a "back-post" written 2010-01-16]

Caveat: And zombier than before

Banalities & Journaling

I think I'm just feeling exhausted from all the travel.  It's finally caught up with me.  I met with Curt yesterday, and we talked some about the job prospect — he's the one I'd like to work for, if it's possible, here.  I think he's torn between wanting to hire me and feeling overwhelmed by the bureaucratic obstacles  he faces that are required for him to be able to do so.  So, as is Korean custom, everything is … "we'll see."

I'm just kind of taking it easy, today.  Trying to get back into a study routine with Korean.

More later.

Caveat: I ♥ Korea

Banalities & Journaling / Life in Korea

I don't know why.  I just do.  It's not like I have any super close friends here… and there are other countries that have felt friendlier (such as El Salvador) or are more stunningly beautiful (such as Chile).  Just a weird fascination, I guess.

Lots of things are just comfortingly familiar, now.  The convenience store on every corner.  The crazy moped drivers (worse with all the snow and ice).  The heated floors.  The way everyone tries to dress fashionably in an utterly impractical way.   The ubiquitous cell phones (I have got to get one or I will be like a blind guy at at deaf persons' convention).  The smell of kimchi.

OK.  Enough nostalgia.  Am I over the jetlag?  Not really, but feeling more rested.  Time to try to be productive.

Caveat: Jetlag Zombie Fun

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

Of course, it always happens.  But sometimes it's worse than others… I think it has to do with time of day at departure and arrival, as well as number of time zones, etc.  When I went back to the US, it didn't seem so bad.  It's really bad, this time.  But… at least this time, I don't have to be working or doing anything… I deliberately gave myself a wide open schedule for this return.  So basically yesterday I tried my best to stay awake and do stuff, but by 6 pm I was out.  And that meant that at 2 am, I was up.  But not really doing anything productive.  Hmm… we'll see how this goes.

I tried really hard to go back to sleep, just figuring the extra sleep couldn't hurt in trying to reset the internal clock, but I almost immediately awoke from a terrible, vivid nightmare.  I haven't had a scary dream in a long time, and this one was interesting in one respect:  I was having a car accident on a snowy road, while driving my truck.  Interesting because the dream activated some anxieties that are always there, in winter driving, but apparently they chose not to manifest until I'd safely abandoned my truck in the US and returned to Korea.  I was driving down a steep hill, like the Ramsey Street one in St Paul, maybe.  Lot's of snow and ice.  The car in front of me started spinning, and I stepped on the brakes only to realize I had zero traction, too.  I went over a cliff in my little truck.  

Anyway, that was the end of trying to sleep more.

I'm not in the mood to write.  I'm trying to get into the mode of studying my Korean again… but that's feeling desperate and difficult, at the moment.

More later.

Caveat: All that snow, just for me?

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

Probably not.  But I have spent 3 winters in greater Seoul over my lifetime, and I've never seen it covered in beautiful snow like it is now.  I'm so glad I came back to this.  And… it's still at least marginally warmer than Minnesota, although a difficult adjustment after running the vehicle's airconditioner yesterday while driving on the 605 in LA.

Which to say, I have safely arrived in Seoul.  Uneventful flight, Korean Airlines is predictably fabulous to fly with.  I don't have a phone yet, but I'm going to look into that, today.

So, here I am!  What's next?  Uh… better start working on that job-thing, eh?

Caveat: Chupe de Pescado

Banalities & Journaling / Food & Drink / Hiking & Travel

I went to Costa Mesa and ate lunch at Inka Grill restaurant today.  I met an old friend Mary there, since she lives in Orange County, that was convenient. 

I have been craving chupe de pescado a lot.  I used to eat it there when I was working in Newport Beach (an office park near the Costa Mesa city line).  I was glad it was still there.

And I spent a lot of time driving around LA freeways.  They're so familiar.  A strange sort of frustration/comfort sets in.

Now I'm at LAX.  I'm going back to Korea.  I will experience no January 6, 2010, because of the date line.  Maybe I should post something very strange and otherworldly for that date, because of this?

Caveat: A reason to leave L.A.

Banalities & Journaling

I was talking with my brother earlier, and told him I was planning on driving down to Costa Mesa tomorrow — I'm craving Peruvian food from a restaurant there I used to frequent with coworkers when I worked in Newport Beach in 2005-06.   My brother's droll comment was:  "Well, that will give you a reason to leave L.A."

Caveat: Bernardo O’Higgins

Banalities & Journaling / My Photos

Bernardo O’Higgins was a Chilean patriot of Irish descent, who lived during the time of the war for Chile’s independence from Spain, in the 1820’s. He worked with other famous South Americans such as Argentina’s San Martin and Colombia’s Bolivar.

But in the 1990’s, I used the name Bernardo O’Higgins as the name of a character in one of the stories I used to make up and tell to my stepson, Jeffrey. These were imaginary stories involving talking animals in science-fictiony plots. The main character was a dog named Gilgamesh. I can’t remember what animal Bernardo O’Higgins was in my stories, but when we bought our third cat in 1994, that became her name. Despite the fact that Bernardo is a male name, the cat was a girl, but still her name was Bernardo O’Higgins.

Over the years, her name was typically shortened to Bernie, and she became, definitively and specifically my cat. When Michelle died in 2000, Bernie came to live with me in Los Angeles, and she followed me to my various residences out here, in Burbank, North Hollywood, Highland Park and Long Beach. Finally, she came with me to Minnesota, her birth-home, when I moved back there in 2006.

But I couldn’t take her to Korea. So she ended up at my dad’s house here in Highland Park. Here she is lazing in the gentle Southern California January sunshine.

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Here is a random view from dad’s front porch. Not very wintery, here.

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And here is Bernie, having moved into my open suitcase this evening, while my dad and I went out to dinner. I guess she wishes I would take her with me back to Korea?

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Caveat: United Airlines Is Still the Worst Airline in the Known Universe

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

So, I missed my flight, this morning.  Why?  Because I arrived at the airport only 1 hour and 20 minutes before my flight.  This was a mistake.   And, I admit my mistake. 

I made the mistake because on 12/28, when I flew from LA to MSP, was to all appearances an equally busy travel day, and I had zero problems and everything went very smoothly and very quickly.   I made the erroneous assumption that I'd see the same situation today, since the security situation should have, if anything, improved (given the additional time lapsed since the Christmas mess).    So I didn't check the news to see if the airport was going to clogged up, I didn't worry too much about it… I just gave myself about an hour and a half, and showed up.  I've been traveling so much, and it's all gone so smoothly, that I've become a bit cavalier.  I admit that.  I share some of the blame, yes…

But the Minneapolis airport seems profoundly mismanaged.  And United Airlines, specifically, continues to be the most horribly sucky airline I have ever dealt with. So, I will also blame United.

I got in line to check in and check my bags at 4:45.  I waited in line for 45 minutes.  None of the other airlines at the airport had such long, slow-moving lines, as far as I could tell.  There was a long line at American Airlines, but US Airways seemed almost lineless, and Northwest (AKA Delta) has so many counters that it all seemed very much under control.

Anyway, the time shown on when they actually issued my boarding pass was 5:29.   And that was after they let me cut in line because of my departure time.   But this still ended up meaning that the 45 minute wait at TSA (security check) left me too late at the gate for my 6:00 flight.

Actually, United always seems understaffed at their check-in counters, relative to my experience with other airlines (my flight out from Burbank to Minneapolis was with US Airways, and despite it being 12/28, three days after the horrible almost-disaster on Christmas day, everything went very quickly and very smoothly).

In fact, I can state unequivocally that I have NEVER had a pleasant travel experience with United Airlines, in nearly 3 decades of fairly extensive air travel, whereas my experiences with other airlines is at least 50/50 (good/bad), and there are some real winners, such that I have almost never had a bad experience with, e.g., US Airways and Korean Airlines.

There had been a time, about half a decade ago, when I was very conscientiously boycotting United because of past bad experiences, but I guess my commitment to that boycott recently wavered in the light of my last-minute need for a cheap ticket on this current trip.   But the fact of my need to boycott United Airlines has been confirmed by this morning's experience, although obviously I need to concede that my current unpleasant experience has been exacerbated by both the Minneapolis airport's apparent gross mismanagement of the holiday crowds, compared to the other airports I've been in recently, as well as the current security mess surrounding the recent terrorist attempt at Detroit.

Regardless, I am convinced that had my return flight also been with US Airways (whose check-in line was moving in a relatively breezy fashion as I gazed at it longingly this morning from my spot stuck in the United line), I would have made my flight easily this morning.  And thus, I must conclude, United Airlines is the still the worst airline in the known universe.

OK, enough of my rant.

I calmed down by sitting crosslegged on the floor, shutting my eyes, and practicing my recently acquired anapana skill.   Then I broke down, paid Boingo (another sucky company) their $7.95, and came online.  I'm on standby, now, waiting for a flight.  Who knows when I'll get to L.A.  Ah, the risks of last-minute cheap tickets.

In other news… today is a palindrome:  01022010 (or, depending how you like to write your dates, 20100102).  Cool, huh?

More later.

Caveat: Bye, Stuff

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Media (Texts/Music/Movies etc)

I said goodbye to my stuff at my storage unit, today.  I’m returning to Korea in a few days, after staging for a last few days through L.A.

I put the last of my things that I needed to store in the unit, locked it up, and drove away into a swollen orange full moon rising over Eagan.  The temperature was 0 degrees F.  I heard a song by Metric, on the radio, called “Help, I’m Alive.”

What I’m listening to right now.

[Youtube embed added later, part of the Background Noise project.]

Caveat: Belerofonte perdido

Banalities & Journaling / Life is a Dream

I awoke from a very strange dream last night.  It was one of those awkward "back at grad school" dreams.  I was at some social function, but with scholarly types and colleagues most of whom I didn't like or trust particularly.  Michelle was there too, but she was being unusually uncommunicative.

I was trying to talk to someone about my thesis topic:  Cervantes' Persiles.  But the person I was talking to was ignoring me, basically.  I felt in over my depth, which was a common sensation in grad school.  And then I found this book sitting on a side table in the living-room type place we were in.  It was an ancient looking, leather-bound book, and the title on the spine was Belerofonte perdido [Bellerophon Lost].  More weirdly, the author was clearly stated as Washington Irving.  Really.

I opened the book, inside my dream, and began to read.  It was a sort of romantic-era imitation of one of the late medieval peninsular novelas de cabelleria.  And as best I could deduce from the title page, this was a translation of something written by Washington Irving.  Now… I realize (based on a few googlings this morning) that this is in no way "real."  But there's just a hint of plausibility.  And it was quite magical, to be reading these imaginary passages of complex early 19th century Spanish prose translated from 19th century English prose which had been written in imitation of 15th century Spanish prose.  Such is my weird imagination.

Within the dream I began to reason through what was happening.  There wasn't much action going on, it was very cerebral and meditative, but in the sense that I was aware that I was dreaming, it was a remarkably lucid dream.  Here is what I was thinking.

I suppose there's some logic to some aspects of this coming out this way.  Last night, I went to see the movie Avatar with Mark, Charlie and Martin.  The movie was pretty good, and very imaginative, though not the best-written thing, plotwise or dialogwise.  And there's a bit of a visitation to some of the themes of the Bellerophon myth, especially in the scenes involving the taming and riding of the flying dragon-creatures, a la Pegasus.  But more importantly, there had been some previews before the movie that had puzzled me a bit:  two movies, not related, advertised, on Greek-mythology themes.

"What's that about?" I had wondered to myself.  "Where's this sudden interest in Greek mythology coming from, from the depths of the Hollywood machine?"  But… so… that's where Bellerophon comes in.

Why was Bellerophon lost?  Well, for his arrogance.  Is that a warning against arrogance, to me, from my subconscious?

Where's my Pegasus?  What's my Chimera?  Is it even about me?  The people in the grad school party around me didn't matter, I was absorbed by the story.  It was just a dream, after all.

I awoke from my dream, got up, and went and had a great breakfast with my friends Shari and Kristen in St Paul.   I have so many wonderful friends, who so kindly tolerate my aimless itinerancy.

Caveat: Korean Food in Eagan

Banalities & Journaling / Food & Drink / Hiking & Travel / My Photos

I went out to lunch at a Korean restaurant in a strip mall along highway 13 in Eagan, with a bunch of friends: Bob and Sarah and Henry, and Mark and Amy and Charlie and Martin, and Tayo (Bob’s nephew) was along too.

Our expectations were low. And… I’ve not eaten Korean since coming back from Korea. Surprising? A little, maybe, but I figure I’ll be getting plenty of Korean soon enough, when I go back. Still, we decided to try it out — it’s basically across the highway from where my storage unit is, so it’s conveniently located.

It turned out to be very good. Authentic feeling, and excellent food. I highly recommend Hoban Restaurant to anyone living in or passing through Minnesota and craving a “real” Korean dining experience. I had some kimchi dolsotbap which was excellent.

With Bob and Mark both there, it’s been a bit of an “1808 Portland” reunion — 1808 Portland Avenue in St Paul is the duplex house that Bob, Mark and I shared as housemates (along with some others) back in the 1980’s, at the time I was attending the University of Minnesota. I drove by that place the other day, and took a picture, for old-time’s sake — I have such fond memories of my time living there (over 2 years, I think):

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Caveat: 2009

Banalities & Journaling / Year-In-Six-Sentences

I continued at L-Bridge until September, but I let my contract run out. I loved teaching elementary-age kids, and I wondered, ‘Am I happy?’ I wasn’t completely happy, but I was happier than during most of my life – so, all things being relative, it seems like I’ve chosen a good “career.” Nevertheless, since more than a few days’ vacation is unheard of in the hagwon biz, I decided I needed to “check in” back in the U.S., so I resigned my job (with the idea of re-taking it, or something similar, upon return) and went back to the U.S. for a few months. I put 10000 miles on my pickup truck in 3 months, and then sold it. I spent 10 days at a Buddhist Monastery outside of Chicago.
[This entry is part of a timeline I am making using this blog. I am writing a single entry for each year of my life, which when viewed together in order will provide a sort of timeline. This entry wasn’t written in 2009 – it was written in the future.]
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Caveat: It’s a bad choice!

Banalities & Journaling / Kids

Henry explains:

I was out Bob's parents in White Bear Lake last night. Bob and Sarah and Henry were there, visiting up from Wisconsin, and Mark and Amy and Charlie and Martin came out, too, as well as Bob's sister Mary Anne and her son Tayo, visiting from DC. It was a good gathering. Bob's parents don't think I'm a bad influence on him anymore, like they used to when they first met me.

Caveat: Minneapolis

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel / My Photos

After driving from Denver to L.A. over the weekend, I left my truck there (where I’m selling it to my dad) and flew back to Minneapolis, to take care of the last-minute things that I need to do before returning to Korea. Landing in Minneapolis, getting my rental car and driving out into the bright sunshine: 23 F (-5 C), piles of dirty snow… I really do love it here. Of my many homes, this is my “truest” home, I suppose.

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Caveat: The end of driving

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

Since landing in Minneapolis upon my return from Korea on September 24, I have put over 14,000 miles (that's around 22,500 km) on my little truck.  I have visited 26 states (and 1 Canadian province).  And now I'm tired of driving.  I'm selling my truck.  I'm in Los Angeles.

I'll fly back to Minneapolis tomorrow, where I'll rent a car for around-town type errands.  But I'm done with road-trips.  At least, for the time being.  And I return to Los Angeles next weekend, and I'm going back to Korea soon after that.  This vast crazy North American tour is almost over.  I'm looking forward to being back in Korea, although my job situation is more up-in-the-air than I'd been intending.  But it will work out… and even if it doesn't, I'm confident things will be fine.

Caveat: World of Goo

Banalities & Journaling

My friend Mark gave me a copy of a computer game called "World of Goo."  I showed it to my nephews, and it's been a huge hit.  Nephew James, age 5, spent hours playing it this morning, and my brother-in-law Eric got into it too.

I drove down from Brenda and Eric's at around midday today, and will spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with my sister's in-laws in Denver's southwestern suburbs.  I have a pretty long-lasting tradition of spending Christmas with my sister's extended in-law family, mostly in Phoenix in years past, but I've missed the last few years, being in Korea.  This year, it's at Jodi and Doug's here in Colorado.

Caveat: Back on the road for the shortest day of the year

Banalities & Journaling / Hiking & Travel

After that long break, I’m driving again. I went from my friend’s in southeastern Wisconsin as far as Kansas City today — I’m going to Denver for Christmas, and although the southern route (via Missouri and Kansas) is a few hours longer than the northern route (via Iowa and Nebraska), because of the winter storms on the satelite, I made the choice of taking the southern route.  Plus, I always have a special feeling for Kansas City, even though I rarely stop there. I had a lot of relatives there at one time, though most of them have redistributed over the years — it’s my mother’s birthplace, and her mother’s too, I think. So it’s a kind of maternal-line homeland. Plus, I just think it’s an interesting and attractive city.
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Caveat: Ummm

Banalities & Journaling / Buddhism & Zen / Life is a Dream

I will be completely "offline" for the next 11 days.  I'm going on a meditation retreat.

No, I haven't become a buddhist.  Or anything like that.  And, actually, I've felt somewhat embarrassed telling some of the people who know me that I'm doing this, but in fact it's something I've wanted to do, and have been planning, on and off, for not just years, but decades.   I guess I feel embarrassed because it doesn't really match the cynical, anti-spiritual persona I present of myself.  Well, anyway…

I will be off the internet, off cellphones, not even taking reading material, for this next week and a half.  If I come out a weird cultist, I'm counting on everyone to do some kind of "intervention" quickly.  But as my friend Bob said, earlier today,  I came out still myself from the Army, and lots of other crazy things… no reason why this should affect me any differently, right?

"I will always retain my inner core of pure cynicism," I retorted.  But it's been shading toward a weird, optimistic sort of cynicism for some years now, I would add.   The positive-thinking cynic?

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