Category: Background Noise

Caveat: Another day, just breathe.

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work

Last night we had a 회식 (work dinner), that Korean institution where coworkers periodically and essentially obligatorially participate in an after-work dinner and drinking experience. I am not much of a drinker these days, and furthermore my medication contraindicates alcohol, but something made me have a couple cups of beer last night, which, given my normal abstention, left me feeling completely discombobulated. 

Anyway, it was at a seafood reastaurant, one of those places where there are servings of raw, still-wiggling, chopped octopus tentacles among other less-identifiable delicacies. I have never been a fan of still-wiggling octopus tentacles, although I'm fine to eat them cooked, when they have a kind of "ok to swallow whole" texture such that they are more bearable than many other things. I had some issues with bits of clam and mussel shell in the food getting caught in my undexterous mouth.

Perhaps the pleasing aspect was that, although I didn't talk much – I never do – I was finding my level of comprehension through the evening fairly high. I followed a number of conversations more-or-less successfully, although if I let my attention wander I would become lost. As I've always commented to my coworkers, for me, hweh-sik is harder than work, not easier, and not really relaxing. It's like an intensive Korean listening comprehension class, always held late at night after a long day at work.

A picture, looking across the table – a low table, everyone seated on the floor – you can see new teacher John, Curt, and newish middle-school subdirector, Sunny (who, like many Karmaites, is an L-Bridge refugee, and thus someone whom I've known on and off for quite a long time). 

2016-05-12 22.43.02

What I'm listening to right now.

Télépopmusik – "Breathe."

Lyrics.

I brought you something close to me,
Left for something you see though your here.
You haunt my dreams
There's nothing to do but believe,
Just believe.
Just breathe.

Another day, just believe,
Another day, just breathe
Another day, just believe,
Another day. just breathe.

Im used to it by now.
Another day, just believe.
Just breathe. just believe.
Just breathe.
Lying in my bed,
Another day, staring at the ceiling.

Just breathe. another day.
Another day, just believe.
Another day.
Im used to it by now.
Im used to it by now.
Just breathe. just believe.
Just breathe. just believe.
Just believe. just breathe.
Just believe.
Another day, just believe.
Another day.
Another day, just believe,
Another day, just breathe,
Another day (I do believe).
Another day(so hard to breathe)
Another day(not so hard to believe)
Another day. another day.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: the internet let me down

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Internet & Blogging

I had one of my "low tech" Sundays, I guess. I was tired of looking at the internet and tried to avoid it today.

What I'm listening to right now.

This morning, anyway, when I started to prepare this blog-post, the internet let me down. I was listening to this song, and was going to post it. But the song is completely missing from the normal places where such things can be found – e.g. youtube, vimeo. Not even the pirate-riddled Chinese site I've used a few times. So. No online track available. I guess they want you to buy it. How antiquated.

Epsilon Minus, "Lost."

Lyrics.

My sadness seeks out comfort
Where are you now
I just had to express these feelings
My regret overwhelms me
I feel you now
I just had to show you what remains

You said that I would never change
Just a frozen thought in your mind
I'm destined to remain
You embody everything I am
And I thought I would tell you all this
As I watch you slip away
And the hope built up inside
Told me this would be the time
I would cry no more goodbyes
You gave the world to me

My loneliness astounds me
I've lost you now
I have no one to blame for these things

You fought to keep them all away
But desire overcomes me
And that's something new to me
I've known longing
I've lost something

And the hope built up inside
Lied to me a thousand times
I've cried one more goodbye
The world I had destroyed
And these feelings I won't hide
When the tears slowly subside
I've lost everything today
When you took the world from me

 

[daily log: walking, not much]

Caveat: happy to just fall down

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

The Korean TV news is full of bits on the North Koreans' Party Congress, the first in 36 years. KJU is consolidating his power, repossessing the military, and showing savvier leadership than had been expected, it appears. Not that that's a good thing. 

 Perhaps relatedly, what I'm listening to right now.

Communist Daughter, "Not the Kid."

Lyrics.

When we were younger
we had nothing to do
so we'd close our eyes
and spin around in circles
happy to hit the ground
or happy to just fall down

When we were younger
we'd go down to the park
we'd catch all the fireflies
we'd put 'em in jars
we never knew that they'd die
we never really thought that far

I'm not the kid you knew
im not the kid you remember

When we were younger
we were scared of the dark
so we closed our eyes
we pulled the sheets over our heads
we didn't want to see what's there
like the shadows under the bed

And now that I'm older
I look back on those days
I wish I had them back
cuz the shadows are gone
or at least they're not that strong
as the shadows in my head

I'm not the kid you knew
I'm not the kid you remember

I'm not the kid you knew
I'm not the kid you remember

In 1985
well there was a picture taken with my name on it
climbin' an apple tree with blue shoes
You'd think it was me
I could swear it was you

I'm not the kid you knew
i'm not the kid you remember

I'm not the kid you knew
i'm not the kid you remember

I'm not the kid you knew
i'm not the kid you remember

I'm not the kid you knew
i'm not the kid you remember

Notes for Korean (finding meaning)

  • 병진 = advancing side-by-side – this is the label for the new, not-military-first policy initiative by NK's KJU

[daily log: walking, 1km]

 

Caveat: a little south-east of Nome

Background Noise / Language & Linguistics

"You couldn't find your /æs/ with both hands and a vowel chart" – linguist insults.

Unrelatedly, what I'm listening to right now. I don't know why I'm listening to it right now.

Johnny Horton, "North to Alaska." It's not very geographically accurate – I think the Yukon gold rush was not in the neighborhood of Nome. It was a tie-in to a John Wayne movie which I'd never heard of.

Lyrics.

Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.

Big Sam left Seattle in the year of '92,
With George Pratt, his partner, and brother, Billy, too.
They crossed the Yukon River and found the bonanza gold.
Below that old white mountain just a little south-east of Nome.

Sam crossed the majestic mountains to the valleys far below.
He talked to his team of huskies as he mushed on through the snow.
With the northern lights a-running wild in the land of the midnight sun,
Yes, Sam McCord was a mighty man in the year of nineteen-one.

Where the river is winding,
Big nuggets they're finding.
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.

Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.

George turned to Sam with his gold in his hand,
Said: "Sam you're a-lookin'at a lonely, lonely man.
"I'd trade all the gold that's buried in this land,
"For one small band of gold to place on sweet little Ginnie's hand.

"'Cos a man needs a woman to love him all the time.
"Remember, Sam, a true love is so hard to find.
"I'd build for my Ginnie, a honeymoon home.
"Below that old white mountain just a little south-east of Nome."

Where the river is winding,
Big nuggets they're finding.
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.
North to Alaska,
They're goin' North, the rush is on.

Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
Way up north, (North To Alaska.)
Way up north, (North To Alaska.)

[daily log: strolling, 1.5km]

Caveat: the ‘gator lost his mind

Background Noise / Language & Linguistics / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism

What I'm listening to right now.

Jimmy Driftwood, "The Battle of New Orleans." Driftwood was a history teacher who made this song in 1959 to get his students interested in history. I remember hearing the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band version in the mid 70's, and I admit, it got me interested in history. I'm not sure about the over all accuracy – especially the issue of how the American soldiers used the alligators. But anyway it's actually a pretty funny song, and from the start I was fascinated by the unusual language in it, as well – perhaps it also got me interested in dialectology.

Lyrics – I found them online, but the sung lyrics differed somewhat, so I have made some alterations based on what I hear, to match the actual non-standard language being used, e.g. the published lyrics have "they begun a running" but the singer clearly says "they beginned a-running."

Well, in 18 and 14, we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Missisip
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we met the bloody British in the town of New Orleans

Chorus:

We fired our guns and the British kept a comin'
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they beginned a-runnin'
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Well, I seed Mars Jackson a-walkin' down the street
And a-talkin' to a pirate by the name of Jean Lafitte;
He gave Jean a drink that he brung from Tennessee,
And the pirate said he'd help us drive the British in the sea.

Well the French told Andrew, "You had better run
For Packenham's a-comin' with a bullet in his gun."
Old Hickory said he didn't give a damn
He's a-gonna whip the britches off of Colonel Packenham.

Chorus

Well, we looked down the river and we seed the British come
And there must have been a hundred of them beating on the drum
They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring
While we stood behind our cotton bales and didn't say a thing

Old Hick'ry said we could take em by surprise
If we didn't fire a musket till we looked em in the eyes
We held our fire till we seed their face well
Then we opened up our squirrel guns and really gave 'em hell.

Chorus

Well they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go
They ran so fast the hounds couldn't catch 'em
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

Well we fired our cannons till the barrels melted down
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
We filled his head with minie balls and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the 'gator lost his mind

They lost their pants and their pretty shiny coats
And their tails was all a-showin' like a bunch of billy goats.
They ran down the river with their tongues a-hangin' out
And they said they got a lickin', which there wasn't any doubt.

Chorus

Well we marched back to town in our dirty ragged pants
And we danced all night with the pretty girls from France;
We couldn't understand 'em, but they had the sweetest charms
And we understood 'em better when we got 'em in our arms.

Chorus

Well, the guide who brung the British from the sea
Come a-limpin' into camp just as sick as he could be,
He said the dying words of Colonel Packenham
Was, "You better quit your foolin' with your cousin Uncle Sam."

Chorus

Well, we'll march back home, but we'll never be content
Till we make Old Hick'ry the people's president.
And every time we think about the bacon and the beans
We'll think about the fun we had way down in New Orleans.

Chorus

[daily log: walking, 7.5km]

Caveat: The Moonlight Done Long Run Out

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

Not much doing, on a Sunday.

What I'm listening to, right now.

Randy Houser, "Runnin' Outta Moonlight."

Lyrics.

Don't you worry 'bout gettin' fixed up
When you wake up, you're pretty enough
Look out your window at the cloud of dust
That's my headlights, that's my truck

Come on baby, don't you keep me waitin'
I gotta go, I've got a reservation
Tailgate for two underneath the stars
Kiss on your lips when you're in my arms

Whoa
Girl, every now and then you get a night like this
Whoa
This is one that we don't wanna miss, no

Come on baby let me take you on a night ride
Windows down, sittin' on my side
Tick tock now we're knocking on midnight
Me and you girl runnin' outta moonlight
I wanna hold you till the break of dawn
Hear the crickets sing a riverside love song
Hey baby, all we got is all night
Come on now we're runnin' outta moonlight

Girl I bet you thought I lost my mind
Outta the blue pulling into your drive
Wonder why I got you way out here
Have you ever seen a sky this clear

Whoa
Girl, you never look better than you do right now
Whoa
Oh heaven, let your light shine down

Come on baby let me take you on a night ride
Windows down, sittin' on my side
Tick tock now we're knocking on midnight
Me and you girl runnin' outta moonlight
I wanna hold you till the break of dawn
Hear the crickets sing a riverside love song
Hey baby, all we got is all night
Come on now we're runnin' outta moonlight

Whoa
Girl, every now and then you get a night like this
Whoa
This is one that we don't wanna miss, no

Come on baby let me take you on a night ride
Windows down, sittin' on my side
Tick tock now we're knocking on midnight
Me and you girl runnin' outta moonlight
I wanna hold you till the break of dawn
Hear the crickets sing a riverside love song
Hey baby, all we got is all night
Come on now we're runnin' outta moonlight

Hey baby don't it feel so right
Come on now we're runnin' outta moonlight
All I wanna do is hold you tight
Come on, come on, come on we're runnin' outta moonlight

Whoa
Yea we're runnin' outta moonlight
Whoa

 

[daily log: walking, 1km]

Caveat: We out

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Media (Texts/Music/Movies etc)

Prince_love_symbolI guess Prince (Prince Rogers Nelson) died this morning. In fact, I was not a huge fan of his music, but he is of my generation, and of my adopted city (Minneapolis), and his music and cultural impact were both ubiquitous in my college years. Certainly I think he was quite talented, an original artist and thinker, and entirely deserving of his fame and fans. I can conjure several of his songs into my mind without prompts, including "1999" and "Purple Rain," and and I saw the movie of the same title as the latter, "Purple Rain," many times. Probably the thing Prince did that I found most interesting, as a linguist, was when he changed his name to an unpronounciable symbol (at right), and for a number of years was therefore known as "The Artist formerly known as Prince." This appealed to my interest in absurdist and Borgesian linguistic follies.

I would have preferred to put a Prince song, below, but… well, he was also quite assiduous in his control of his creative output, including his long-standing dispute with his music label, and his famous quote that working for his label was like slavery. Because of that, quality youtube videos of his music are quite hard to find. I would have posted a less well-known song, perhaps something with political content, like his 1981 "Ronnie, Talk To Russia." I suggest you go find it somewhere, if you're interested. 

Meanwhile, since that's not available, here's something utterly unrelated and of a different genre and epoch. 

What I'm listening to right now.

Nothing But Thieves, "Excuse Me."

Lyrics.

His space crowds out your space, your space
Your space crowds out hers
Coffee breath and headphone hiss
But no one says a word

Eyes upon the paper headline
Refuge in your phone
Bumping shoulders
Cough and sniff
But no one says hello

Woahhh
Excuse me while I run, I really gotta get out of here
Woahhh
Excuse me while I run, I really gotta get out of here

My heart beats like yours does, hers does,
Her heart keeps good time
And everyday I mind the gap between you and me
Here comes someone else to share the air we breathe

Woahhh
Excuse me while I run, I really gotta get out of here
Woahhh
Reach out for anyone, and they will tell you get out of here
Woahhh
I'm asking everyone, you've gotta help me get out of here
Woahhh
Excuse me while I run, I really gotta get out of here

Meanwhile
Under the gun
Hey everyone
Our work here is done
We out
You gonna come?
Hey everyone
Our work here is done

Woahhh
Excuse me while I run, I really gotta get out of here
Woahhh
Reach out for anyone and they will tell you get out of here
Woahhh
I'm asking everyone, you've gotta help me get out of here
Woahhh
Excuse me while I run, I really gotta get out of here

[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: Never been seen

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

I guess it was a pretty lousy weekend. I have some kind of mild flu. 

What I'm listening to right now.

Indicator Indicator, "Your Cocoon." The group is from my favorite Canadian city: Winnipeg.

Lyrics.

You've never missed a step
You haven't taken one yet
Cinched to an inch it's time you knew
You're still stuck in your cocoon

Feels it was always meant to be
You fill it up so perfectly
But know you'll never grow up anytime soon
While you're stuck in your cocoon

You're armoured but it's welded shut
So green that it's obscene
You think your wings are these splendid things
But baby they've never been seen
Never been seen

Oh, you're the first to laugh
And, oh, we love you for that
But it's time to cut the cord and spit out that spoon
Let's get you out of your cocoon

[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: 閑雲野鶴

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean) / 한국어 속담 (Aphorisms & Proverbs)

This is a four-character idiom I learned from my building’s elevator the other day.

閑雲野鶴
한운야학
han.un.ya.hak
leisure-cloud-field-crane

The meaning in the Korean-English dictionary is given as only, “wandering clouds and wild cranes,” but the example use of the expression gives a clue: 한운 야학 야학을 벗삼다 lead a leisurely life／lead a life free from worldly care in the bosom of nature. I found the following definition in Korean, online, which I laboriously translated.

한가로운 구름 아래 노니는 들의 학. 벼슬과 어지러운 세상을 버리고 강호에 묻혀 사는 사람.
Cranes wandering fields under peaceful skies. People who abandon official posts and chaotic society to take refuge in nature.

So I guess it means people who “escape” society in some way, but it is not clear to me if this viewed positively or negatively by the expression. Sometimes it seems I might do that. Or it seems I might already have tried that – but unsuccessfully.

What I’m listening to right now.

The Cure, “Splintered In Her Head.” I’m not sure this is related to the idiom.
[daily log: walking, 1km]
 

Caveat: Ihcuac tlahtolli ye miqui

Background Noise / Not My Poetry

This is a poem composed in the Nahuatl language (indigenous to Mexico).

Ihcuac tlahtolli ye miqui
mochi in teoyotl,
cicitlaltin, tonatiuh ihuan metztli;
mochi in tlacayotl,
neyolnonotzaliztli ihuan huelicamatiliztli,
ayocmo neci
inon tezcapan.
Ihcuac tlahtolli ye miqui,
mochi tlamantli in cemanahuac,
teoatl, atoyatl,
yolcame, cuauhtin ihuan xihuitl
ayocmo nemililoh, ayocmo tenehualoh,
tlachializtica ihuan caquiliztica
ayocmo nemih.
Inhuac tlahtolli ye miqui,
cemihcac motzacuah
nohuian altepepan
in tlanexillotl, in quixohuayan.
In ye tlamahuizolo
occetica
in mochi mani ihuan yoli in tlalticpac.
Ihcuac tlahtolli ye miqui,
itlazohticatlahtol,
imehualizeltemiliztli ihuan tetlazotlaliztli,
ahzo huehueh cuicatl,
ahnozo tlahtolli, tlatlauhtiliztli,
amaca, in yuh ocatcah,
hueliz occepa quintenquixtiz.
Ihcuac tlahtolli ye miqui,
occequintin ye omiqueh
ihuan miec huel miquizqueh.
Tezcatl maniz puztecqui,
netzatzililiztli icehuallo
cemihcac necahualoh:
totlacayo motolinia.
– Miguel León Portilla (Mexican poet, b 1926)

Below is a soundtrack of someone reading … something similar. I don't think it's exactly the same text, since it doesn't seem to match up to the written form. It may be that the person talking is doing more of a riff on the theme as opposed to reading the actual poem. Notable, especially, are the frequent Spanish-origin loanwords in the woman's reading, which are not present in the poem's text, above.

Cuando Muere una Lengua / When a tongue dies from Combo on Vimeo.

If you want to hear the actual reading, by the original poet, you can hear it here (not embeddable) – he starts reading in Nahuatl at about halfway through the video at that site.

[daily log: walking, 1km]

 

Caveat: Like golden rays of sun in the cloud

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

I am having a very busy week. I've been putting extra hours in prep time at work, posting grades, planning some curriculum for a new class, and doing some other bureaucratic pursuits. 

In parallel with starting this new medication (see Monday's post), which features some not-so-pleasant side effects, I am feeling more exhausted than I have been in a long time. 

So… sorry, I'm not posting very interestingly, lately. I have my little "stockpile" of pre-started blogpost drafts… things collected at various times, from which I can grab some random thing (mostly poetry, or music, or occasionally bits of online humor) when something new doesn't occur to me.  These posts tend to come across as a bit impersonal, I guess. As of today, that stockpile is empty. 

What I'm listening to right now.

Röyksopp, "You Don't Have A Clue." Of course, I blogged this song before. But I didn't post the lyrics, then, as I hadn't yet fixed on that little habit. And, it was a long time ago.  So again, then.

Lyrics.

It's late in the night, dancing is done
The music has died, you're ready to run

But you don't have a clue, this party hasn't ended yet
Not for me and you, now you're just pretending

You're hiding from yourself
Yes you are, yes you are
Like golden rays of sun in the cloud

We're meant to be one, I know we are
If I am the sky, then you are my star

Hey you don't have a clue, this party never ended
Not for me and you, I know you're just pretending

You're hiding from yourself
Yes you are, yes you are
Like golden rays of sun in the cloud

I will make you see
Haven't you got, haven't you got it yet?
Just lay down for a while, next to me

Didn't mean to make you panic
I didn't mean to put you off
Baby it's the way that you've got me
I listen to my heart and it takes you high
And you ask me how
Can I show you how
I need your love right now, now, now

[daily log: walking, 6.5]

Caveat: I’ve got dues to pay

Background Noise

What I'm listening to right now.

Cake, "Sheep Go To Heaven, Goats Go To Hell."

Lyrics.

I'm not feeling alright today,
I'm not feeling that great,
I'm not catching on fire today,
Love has started to fade.

I'm not going to smile today,
I'm not gonna laugh,
You're out living it up today,
I've got dues to pay.

And the grave digger puts on the foreceps,
The stonemason does all the work,
The barber can give you a haircut,
The carpenter can take you out to lunch.

Now, I just want to play on my pan pipes,
I just want to drink me some wine,
As soon as you're born, you start dying,
So you might as well have a good time.

Oh no…

Sheep go to Heaven,
Goats go to Hell.
Sheep go to Heaven,
Goats go to Hell.

Oh no…
All right…

I don't wanna go to Sunset Strip,
I don't wanna feel the emptyness,
Bold marquees with stupid band names,
I don't wanna go to Sunset Strip.

I don't wanna go to Sunset Strip,
I don't wanna feel the emptyness,
Bold marquees with stupid band names,
I don't wanna go to Sunset Strip.

And the grave digger puts on the foreceps,
The stonemason does all the work,
The barber can give you a haircut,
The carpenter can take you out to lunch.

Now, but, I just want to play on my pan pipes,
I just want to drink me some wine,
As soon as you're born, you start dying,
So you might as well have a good time.

Oh no…

Sheep go to Heaven,
Goats go to Hell.
Sheep go to Heaven,
Goats go to Hell.

All right…
Oh no…
Oh no…

Sheep go to Heaven,
Goats go to Hell…

[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: Gotta keep on running

Background Noise / Not My Poetry

What I'm listening to right now.

Dead Kennedys, "Viva Las Vegas (Elvis Presley cover)."

Lyrics.

Twilight City gonna set my soul
It's gonna set my soul on fire
Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn
So get those stakes up high

There's a thousand pretty women waiting out there
They're all waiting, they'll never make air
And I'm just the devil with a lung to spare, so

Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas

How I wish that there were more
Than the 24 hours in the day
Even if I ran out of speed, boy
I wouldn't sleep a minute of the way

Oh that blackjack and poker and the roulette wheel
I'll poach your money lost on every deal
All you need is sonar and nerves of steel, so

Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas
Where the neon signs flash your name
The one-arm bandits cash in
All soap's down the drain
Viva Las Vegas
Turning day into nighttime
Turning night into daytime
If you see it once
You'll never be the same again

Gotta keep on running
Gonna have me some money
If it costs me my very last dime
If I wind up broke
Then I'll always remember that
I had a swingin' time

Oh, I'm gonna give it everything I've got
Lady Luck's with me, the dice stay hot
Got coke up my nose to dry away the snot, so

Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas
Viva, viva Las Vegas

[daily log: walking, 1km]

Caveat: We are fixed right where we stand

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Life is a Dream / Not My Poetry

Saturday there was a huge thunderstorm. It was a monsoon-style deluge. Yesterday the weather was very spring-like, but I  was in a strange mood.

I'd dreamed I was one of my students, taking some test. But my version of the test was in Korean – of course. So I didn't understand the test. It was sad. I felt empathy for my students.

What I'm listening to right now.

Modest Mouse, "The View."

Lyrics.

Your gun went off.
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you.
My mouth runs on too.

Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue.

Life it rents us.
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you.
Well I hope mine did too.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
then I feel pretty blissfully.

Your gun went off.
Well you shot off your mouth and look where it got you.
My mouth runs on too.

Shouts from both sides,
"Well we've got the land but they've got the view!"
Well now here's the clue.

We are fixed right where we stand.

Life it rents us.
And yeah I hope it put plenty on you.
Well I hope mine did too.

We are fixed right where we are.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well if feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.

For every invention made how much time did we save?
We're not much farther than we were in the cave.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer,
and it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.

If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.

For every good deed done there is a crime committed.
We are fixed.
For every step ahead we could have just been seated.
We are fixed.

As life gets longer, awful feels softer.
Well it feels pretty soft to me.
And if it takes shit to make bliss,
well I feel pretty blissfully.

We are fixed.
We are fixed.
We are fixed right where we stand.

Notes for Korean (finding meaning)

  • 동등하다 = to be equal, to be on equal terms with, to be equivalent
  • deriv. 동등히 = equally

 

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: The drug we’re fed

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Kids / Not My Poetry

I have one middle-school cohort of 9th graders that seems quite intrigued by US politics – unlike most 9th graders. I hadn't realized how much I'd revealed of my own opinions, however – normally I try to come across as fairly neutral, but not always successfully.

With great insight, the other day, one of my students said, "Teacher. If Trump is elected, you will have to study Korean very hard."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He answered, "You said if you can pass the Korean test, you can become a Korean citizen. I think you will want to do that." 

I laughed. That was pretty perceptive, and interesting. 

What I'm listening to right now.

Dead Kennedys, "Stars and Stripes of Corruption." As a side-note: the Dead Kennedys were the first musical group I saw in a live performance, of my own volition (i.e. not with my parents or other adults) – it was not really a concert, but at a club. I was 16 years old.

Lyrics.

Finally got to Washington in the middle of the night
I couldn't wait
I headed straight for the Capitol Mall
My heart began to pound
Yahoo! It really exists
The American International Pictures logo

I looked up at that Capitol Building
Couldn't help but wonder why
I felt like saying "Hello, old friend"

Walked up the hill to touch it
Then I unzipped my pants
And pissed on it when nobody was looking

Like a great eternal Klansman
With his two flashing red eyes
Turn around he's always watching
The Washington monument pricks the sky
With flags like pubic hair ringed 'round the bottom

The symbols of our heritage
Lit up proudly in the night
Somehow fits to see the homeless people
Passed out on the lawn

So this is where it happens
The power games and bribes
All lobbying for a piece of ass

Of the stars and stripes of corruption
Makes me feel so ashamed
To be an American
When we're too stuck up to learn from our mistakes
Trying to start another Viet Nam
Whilke fiddling while Rome burns at home
The Boss says, "You're laid off. Blame the Japanese"
"America's back," alright
At the game it plays the worst
Strip mining the world like a slave plantation

No wonder others hate us
And the Hitlers we handpick
To bleed their people dry
For our evil empire

The drug we're fed
To make us like it
Is God and country with a band

People we know who should know better
Howl, "America riles. Let's go to war!"
Business scams are what's worth dying for

Are the Soviets our worst enemy?
We're destroying ourselves instead
Who cares about our civil rights
As long as I get paid?

The blind Me-Generation
Doesn't care if life's a lie

so easily used, so proud to enforce

The stars and stripes of corruption
Let's bring it all down!
Tell me who's the real patriots
The Archie Bunker slobs waving flags?
Or the people with the guts to work
For some real change
Rednecks and bombs don't make us strong
We loot the world, yet we can't even feed ourselves
Our real test of strength is caring
Not the toys of war we sell the world
Just carry on, thankful to be farmed like worms
Old glory for a blanket
As you suck on your thumbs

Real freedom scares you
'Cos it means responsibility

So you chicken out and threaten me

Saying, "Love it or leave it"
I'll get beat up if I criticize it
You say you'll fight to the death
To save your worthless flag

If you want a banana republic that bad
Why don't you go move to one
But what can just one of us do?
Against all that money and power
Trying to crush us into roaches?

We don't destroy society in a day
Until we change ourselves first
From the inside out

We can start by not lying so much
And treating other people like dirt
It's easy not to base our lives
On how much we can scam

And you know
It feels good to lift that monkey off our backs

I'm thankful I live in a place
Where I can say the things I do
Without being taken out and shot
So I'm on guard against the goons
Trying to take my rights away
We've got to rise above the need for cops and laws

Let kids learn communication
Instead of schools pushing competition
How about more art and theater instead of sports?

People will always do drugs
Let's legalize them
Crime drops when the mob can't price them
Budget's in the red?
Let's tax religion

No one will do it for us
We'll just have to fix ourselves
Honesty ain't all that hard
Just put Rambo back inside your pants
Causing trouble for the system is much more fun

Thank you for the toilet paper
But your flag is meaningless to me
Look around, we're all people
Who needs countries anyway?

Our land, I love it too
I think I love it more than you
I care enough to fight

The stars and stripes of corruption
Let's bring it all down!
If we don't try
If we just lie
If we can't find
A way to do it better than this
Who will?

Notes for Korean (finding meaning)

  • 다채롭다 = to be colorful
  • 허세 = a bluff, bluster, poker face

[daily log: walking, 1km]

Caveat: el ingenio del odio

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Language & Linguistics / Not My Poetry

It's a snowy Sunday afternoon on the Korean Peninsula.

My friend Bob asked me to help translate a song he's using (he is a music professor). 

What I'm listening to right now.

Victor Heredia, "Todavía cantamos." This song commemorates September 11th (the other one). 

Letra.

Todavía cantamos, todavía pedimos,
todavía soñamos, todavía esperamos,
a pesar de los golpes
que asestó en nuestras vidas
el ingenio del odio
desterrando al olvido
a nuestros seres queridos.

Todavía cantamos, todavía pedimos,
todavía soñamos, todavía esperamos,
que nos digan adónde
han escondido las flores
que aromaron las calles
persiguiendo un destino
¿Dónde, dónde se han ido?

Todavía cantamos, todavía pedimos,
todavía soñamos, todavía esperamos,
que nos den la esperanza
de saber que es posible
que el jardín se ilumine
con las risas y el canto
de los que amamos tanto.

Todavía cantamos, todavía pedimos,
todavía soñamos, todavía esperamos,
por un día distinto
sin apremios ni ayuno
sin temor y sin llanto,
porque vuelvan al nido
nuestros seres queridos.
Todavía cantamos, todavía pedimos,
Todavía soñamos, todavía esperamos…

My translation (I found a translation online but it was quite poor – perhaps merely an exhalation of the googletranslate). 

We still sing, we still ask
We still dream, we still hope
Despite the blows
That were dealt in our lives
By the shrewdness of hate
That exiled to oblivion
Our loved ones.

We still sing, we still ask
We still dream, we still hope
That they to tell us where
They have hidden the flowers
That scented the streets
Where we sought our destiny
Where, where have they gone?

We still sing, we still ask
We still dream, we still hope
That they give us hope
To know that it is possible
To brighten the garden
With the laughter and singing
Of those we love so much.

We still sing, we still ask
We still dream, we still hope
For a different day
Without coercion or hunger
Without fear or crying
When they return home,
Our loved ones.

We still sing, we still ask
We still dream, we still hope…

[daily log: walking, 1km]

Caveat: 0.02%

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

I was listening to Logan Vath’s song, “Ain’t It Like Nebraska,” yesterday, and had this very weird thought: how much of my life have I spent driving across Nebraska? For whatever reason, I have vivid memories of some of those drives – especially that perfectly straight 70 mile stretch of freeway between Lincoln and Grand Island.
Because my main two “homes” in the US are California and Minnesota, and because over the years I have on many occasions had a better reason to drive than fly between them, I would estimate that, conservatively, I have driven across Nebraska at least 15 times. Given it takes about 6 hours on I-80 (with appropriate stops for gas or food), that means I’ve spent at least 90 hours driving across Nebraska. Since I’ve been alive approximately 441,000 hours, that means I’ve spent 0.02% of my life driving across Nebraska.
Of course, I’ve spent much more of life driving across other stretches. The 30 minute drive between Long Beach and Newport Beach is much shorter, but since it was my daily commute for a year, adds up to much more. Likewise the one-hour drive between Lansdale and Cherry Hill and other daily commutes from different times in my life.
Perhaps this should be contrasted with 0.46% (over 2000 hours) – the percent of my life I’ve spent walking between between Janghang and Hugok, in my seven years living in Ilsan.
Sometimes I think about strange things.
picture[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: OK. Bring On The Monkeys!

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

Miyeokguk2Today is 설날 [seollal = lunar new year]. A holiday, and the beginning of the Year of the Monkey.

Koreans celebrate the lunar new year by eating seaweed soup with ttoek (plain rice-cake) for breakfast. I had some "instant" 미역국 (miyeokguk = seaweed soup) and had bought some tteok in a bag from the convenience store downstairs yesterday. 

So I did that – picture at right.

Utterly apropos, because of the video…

What I'm listening to right now.

Coldplay, "Adventure Of A Lifetime."

Lyrics.

Turn your magic on
Umi she'd say
Everything you want's a dream away
And we are legends every day
That's what she told me

Turn your magic on,
To me she'd say
Everything you want's a dream away
Under this pressure under this weight
We are diamonds

Now I feel my heart beating
I feel my heart underneath my skin
And I feel my heart beating
Oh you make me feel
Like I'm alive again
Alive again
Oh you make me feel
Like I'm alive again

Said I can't go on, not in this way
I'm a dream that died by light of day
Gonna hold up half the sky and say
Only I own me
And I feel my heart beating
I feel my heart underneath my skin
Oh I can feel my heart beating
Cause you make me feel
Like I'm alive again
Alive again
Oh you make me feel
Like I'm alive again

Turn your magic on, Umi she'd say
Everything you want's a dream away
Under this pressure under this weight
We are diamonds taking shape
We are diamonds taking shape

If we've only got this life
This adventure oh then I
And if we've only got this life
You get me through
And if we've only got this life
In this adventure oh then I
Want to share it with you
With you
With you
Yeah I do
Woohoo
Woohoo
Woohoo

[daily log: walking, yeah right]

Caveat: Just like that bluebird

Background Noise

David Bowie published this music video days before he died. Unsubtle.

What I'm listening to right now.

David Bowie, "Lazarus."

Lyrics.

[Verse 1]
Look up here, I'm in heaven
I've got scars that can't be seen
I've got drama, can't be stolen
Everybody knows me now

[Verse 2]
Look up here, man, I'm in danger
I've got nothing left to lose
I'm so high, it makes my brain whirl
Dropped my cell phone down below

Ain't that just like me?

[Bridge]
By the time I got to New York
I was living like a king
Then I used up all my money
I was looking for your ass

[Verse 3]
This way or no way
You know I'll be free
Just like that bluebird
Now, ain't that just like me?

Oh, I'll be free
Just like that bluebird
Oh, I'll be free
Ain't that just like me?

[daily log: just like that bluebird]

 

Caveat: gravis est dolor

Background Noise

What I'm listening to right now.

Cat Stevens, "O Caritas." The song is in Latin – "schoolboy Latin" such as was learned by Stevens' generation in British schools, before Latin ceased to be part of any country's curriculum. Apparently there are mistakes in the Latin, but it's still a worthy song, in my opinion.

Lyrics.

hunc ornatum mundi
nolo perdere
video flagrare
omnia res
audio clamare
homines
nunc extinguitur
mundi et astrorum lumen
nunc concipitur mali hominis crimen
tristetate et lacrimis
gravis est dolor
de terraeque maribus
magnus est clamor
O caritas, O caritas
nobis semper sit amor
nos perituri mortem salutamus
sola resurgit vita
Ah, this world is burning fast
Oh, the world will never last
I don't want to lose it here in my time

[daily log: walking, 6km]

 

Caveat: The definition is clear

Background Noise

What I'm listening to right now.

NWA, "Straight Outta Compton." This song is OLD, now. It came out when I was still in college.

Lyrics (NSFW – stop reading these if you are easily offended). 

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge

[Verse One: Ice Cube]

Straight outta Compton, crazy motherfucker named Ice Cube
From the gang called Niggaz With Attitudes
When I'm called off, I got a sawed off
Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off
You too, boy, if ya fuck with me
The police are gonna hafta come and get me
Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out
For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out
Niggaz start to mumble, they wanna rumble
Mix em and cook em in a pot like gumbo
Goin off on a motherfucker like that
with a gat that's pointed at yo ass
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move
Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin
with a crime record like Charles Manson
AK-47 is the tool
Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool
Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe
I'm knockin niggaz out tha box, daily
yo weekly, monthly and yearly
until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly
that I'm down with the capital C-P-T
Boy you can't fuck with me
So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck
Coz Ice Cube is crazy as fuck
As I leave, believe I'm stompin
but when I come back, boy, I'm comin straight outta Compton

[Chorus:]

(City of Compton, City of Compton)

[Eazy E] Yo Ren
[MC Ren] Whassup?
[Eazy E] Tell em where you from!

[Verse Two: MC Ren]

Straight outta Compton, another crazy ass nigga
More punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets bigger
I'm a bad motherfucker and you know this
But the pussy ass niggaz don't show this
But I don't give a fuck, I'ma make my snaps
If not from the records, from jackin the crops
Just like burglary, the definition is 'jackin'
And when illegally armed it's called 'packin'
Shoot a motherfucker in a minute
I find a good piece o' pussy, I go up in it
So if you're at a show in the front row
I'm a call you a bitch or dirty-ass ho
You'll probably get mad like a bitch is supposed to
But that shows me, slut, you're composed to
a crazy muthafucker from tha street
Attitude legit cause I'm tearin up shit
MC Ren controls the automatic
For any dumb muthafucker that starts static
Not the right hand cause I'm the hand itself
every time I pull a AK off the shelf
The security is maximum and that's a law
R-E-N spells Ren but I'm raw
See, coz I'm the motherfuckin villain
The definition is clear, you're the witness of a killin
that's takin place without a clue
And once you're on the scope, your ass is through
Look, you might take it as a trip
but a nigga like Ren is on a gangsta tip
Straight outta Compton…

[Chorus:]

(City of Compton, City of Compton)

[Dr. Dre] Eazy is his name and the boy is comin…

[Verse Three: Eazy-E]

…straight outta Compton
is a brotha that'll smother yo' mother
and make ya sister think I love her
Dangerous motherfucker raises hell
And if I ever get caught I make bail
See, I don't give a fuck, that's the problem
I see a motherfuckin cop I don't dodge him
But I'm smart, lay low, creep a while
And when I see a punk pass, I smile
To me it's kinda funny, the attitude showin a nigga drivin
but don't know where the fuck he's going, just rollin
lookin for the one they call Eazy
But here's a flash, they never seize me
Ruthless! Never seen like a shadow in the dark
except when I unload, see I'll get over the hesitation
and hear the scream of the one who got the last penetration
Give a little gust of wind and I'm jettin
But leave a memory no one'll be forgettin
So what about the bitch who got shot? Fuck her!
You think I give a damn about a bitch? I ain't a sucker!
This is the autobiography of the E, and if you ever fuck with me
You'll get taken by a stupid dope brotha who will smother
word to the motherfucker, straight outta Compton

[Chorus:]

(City of Compton, City of Compton)

(Damn that shit was dope!)

[daily log: ow]

Caveat: All except for Cain and Abel

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Not My Poetry

Walking home from work today, the sky was bright and sunny. A strong breeze was blowing.

And it was -11 C (12 F).

This kind of weather always makes me nostalgic for my years living in Minnesota.

Thinking about those years causes me to listen to Bob Dylan, and read websites about linguistics or Spanish literature.

What I'm listening to right now.

Bob Dylan, "Desolation Row."

Lyrics.

They're selling postcards of the hanging
They're painting the passports brown
The beauty parlor is filled with sailors
The circus is in town
Here comes the blind commissioner
They've got him in a trance
One hand is tied to the tight-rope walker
The other is in his pants
And the riot squad they're restless
They need somewhere to go
As Lady and I look out tonight
From Desolation Row.

Cinderella, she seems so easy
"It takes one to know one," she smiles
And puts her hands in her back pockets
Bette Davis style
And in comes Romeo, he's moaning,
"You belong to Me I Believe."
And someone says, "You're in the wrong place, my friend
You'd better leave."
And the only sound that's left
After the ambulances go
Is Cinderella sweeping up
On Desolation Row.

Now the moon is almost hidden
The stars are beginning to hide
The fortune-telling lady
Has even taken all her things inside
All except for Cain and Abel
And the hunchback of Notre Dame
Everyone's either making love
Or else expecting rain
And the Good Samaritan, he's dressing
He's getting ready for the show
He's going to the carnival tonight
On Desolation Row.

Ophelia, she's 'neath the window
For her I feel so afraid
On her twenty-second birthday
She already is an old maid
To her, death is quite romantic
She wears an iron vest
Her profession's her religion
Her sin is her lifelessness
And though her eyes are fixed upon
Noah's great rainbow
She spends her time peeking
Into Desolation Row.

Einstein, disguised as Robin Hood
With his memories in a trunk
Passed this way an hour ago
With his friend, a jealous monk
NOW, he looked so immaculately frightful
As he bummed a cigarette
Then he went off sniffing drainpipes
And reciting the alphabet
You would not think to look at him
But he was famous long ago
For playing the electric violin
On Desolation Row.

Dr. Filth, he keeps his world
Inside of a leather cup
But all his sexless patients
They ARE trying to blow it up
Now his nurse, some local loser
She's in charge of the cyanide hole
And she also keeps the cards that read
"Have Mercy on His Soul"
They all play on the penny whistle
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough

From Desolation Row.
Across the street they've nailed the curtains
They're getting ready for the feast
The Phantom of the Opera
In a perfect image of a priest
They are spoon-feeding Casanova
To get him to feel more assured
Then they'll kill him with self-confidence
After poisoning him with words
And the Phantom's shouting to skinny girls
"Get outta here if you don't know"
Casanova is just being punished for going
To Desolation Row.

At midnight all the agents
And the superhuman crew
Come out and round up everyone
That knows more than they do
Then they bring them to the factory
Where the heart-attack machine
Is strapped across their shoulders
And then the kerosene
Is brought down from the castles
By insurance men who go
Check to see that nobody is escaping
To Desolation Row.

Praise be to Nero's Neptune
The Titanic sails at dawn
Everybody's shouting
"Which side are you on?"
And Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot
Fighting in the captain's tower
While calypso singers laugh at them
And fishermen hold flowers
Between the windows of the sea
Where lovely mermaids flow
And nobody has to think too much
About Desolation Row.

Yes, I received your letter yesterday
About the time the door knob broke
When you asked me how I was doing
Or was that some kind of joke?
All these people that you mention
Yes, I know them, they're quite lame
I had to rearrange their faces
And give them all another name
Right now I can't read too good
Don't send me no more letters no
Not unless you mail them
From Desolation Row.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: 후회없이 꿈을 꾸었다 말해요

Background Noise / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

우리의 원장님은 나에게 이 노래를 보내셨어요. 아직 이해가 잘 못해서 노력할게요.

내가 지금 듣고있어요.

이적, "걱정말아요 그대."

가사

그대여 아무 걱정 하지 말아요
우리 함께 노래 합시다
그대 아픈 기억들 모두 그대여
그대 감슴에 깊이 묻어 버리고

지나간 것은 지나간 대로
그런 의미가 있죠
떠난 이에게 노래 하세요
후회없이 사랑했노라 말해요

그대는 너무 힘든 일이 많았죠
새로움을 잃어 버렸죠
그대 힘든 얘기들 모두 그대여
그대 탓으로 훌훌 털어 버리고

지나간 것은 지나간 대로
그런 의미가 있죠
우리 다 함께 노래 합시다
후회없이 꿈을 꾸었다 말해요

지나간 것은 지나간 대로
그런 의미가 있죠
우리 다 함께 노래 합시다
후회없이 꿈을 꾸었다 말해요

지나간 것은 지나간 대로
그런 의미가 있죠
우리 다 함께 노래 합시다
후회없이 꿈을 꾸었다 말해요
새로운 꿈을 꾸겠다 말해요

[daily log: resting]

Caveat: Forget our possibilities

Background Noise / Not My Poetry

What I'm listening to right now.

Linkin Park, "Don't Stay."

Lyrics.

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go

[Chorus:]
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone

[Chorus]

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

[Chorus]

Don't stay

Don't stay

[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: Ziggy Played Guitar

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

I guess this past Sunday, David Bowie died – of cancer. There are not very many musicians that have had a more profound influence on me – not that that means much, but Bowie has prominently occupied a top spot in my life’s soundtrack for more than 3 decades now. There are very few others about whom that is true. His music has aged well, at least in my estimation.
I thought his song “Ziggy Stardust” would have made a great obituary, but I already included that song in this blog, so I thought I’d find something different.
What I’m listening to right now.

David Bowie, “Oh! You Pretty Things.” The song’s message seems vaguely fascistic, or at the least, transhumanist in philosophical stance (both tendencies being things Bowie openly professed at various points in his long career), but I rather like it anyway.
Lyrics.

Wake up you sleepy head
Put on some clothes,
shake up your bed
Put another log on the fire for me
I’ve made some breakfast and coffee
Look out my window and what do I see
A crack in the sky
and a hand reaching down to me
All the nightmares came today
And it looks as though they’re
here to stay
What are we coming to
No room for me,
no fun for you
I think about a world to come
Where the books were found
by the Golden ones
Written in pain, written in awe
By a puzzled man who questioned
What we came here for
All the strangers came today
And it looks as though
they’re here to stay

[CHORUS:]
Oh You Pretty Things
Don’t you know you’re driving your
Mamas and Papas insane
Oh You Pretty Things
Don’t you know you’re driving your
Mamas and Papas insane
Let me make it plain
([second time:] Let me say it again)
You gotta make way
for the Homo Superior

Look at your children
See their faces in golden rays
Don’t kid yourself they belong to you
They’re the start of a coming race
The earth is a bitch
We’ve finished our news
Homo Sapiens have outgrown their use
All the strangers came today
And it looks as though they’re here to stay

[CHORUS]

picture[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: Obamakorn

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Found Online

I have a short New Years Holiday. But after such a busy December, and facing an even busier January, it's hard to feel motivated to do anything. I decided to spend my weekend being a computer-potato (like couch potato but with a different focus, I guess).

What I'm listening to right now.

Someone arranged video clips of Obama's words so that he sings the rock group Korn's "Freak On A Leash." A great cover for a great song.

[daily log: not on Holidays]

Caveat: Love Lost

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Not My Poetry

What I’m listening to right now.

Neil Young, “Old Man.” I suspect that the line in this song, “Love lost, such a cost,” was the origin or source for the recurrent word “lovelost” in some poems I wrote when I was 18 years old – I was certainly listening to Neil Young quite a bit during my freshman year in college.
Lyrics.

Old man look at my life,
I’m a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I’m a lot like you were.

Old man look at my life,
Twenty four
and there’s so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me think of two.

Love lost, such a cost,
Give me things
that don’t get lost.
Like a coin that won’t get tossed
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life
I’m a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that’s true.

Lullabies, look in your eyes,
Run around the same old town.
Doesn’t mean that much to me
To mean that much to you.

I’ve been first and last
Look at how the time goes past.
But I’m all alone at last.
Rolling home to you.

Old man take a look at my life
I’m a lot like you
I need someone to love me
the whole day through
Ah, one look in my eyes
and you can tell that’s true.

Old man look at my life,
I’m a lot like you were.
Old man look at my life,
I’m a lot like you were.

picture[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: 白面書生

Background Noise / 한국어 속담 (Aphorisms & Proverbs)

I learned this four character phrase from my building’s elevator.

白面書生
백면서생
baek.myeon.seo.saeng
white-face-book-student

Basically, I guess, a bookworm. Maybe a kind of pre-modern nerd. Googletranslate suggests “teenager” but that seems too broad. I don’t really know – I haven’t heard in use.

Quite unrelatedly, what I’m listening to right now.

Ministry, “So What.”
The lyrics are quite profane, such that in fact I hesitate to post them on my PG-rated blog. But… well, it is what I’m listening to right now, after all. You can click the “x” in the upper right.

“You have had all that money can give you, but that wasn’t
enough. You became a thrill-seeker. Kill for the thrill.
(assassin) This thrill-seeking became the one great thing in
your life, planning one thrill on another until the murder. Kill
for the love of killing. (guilty) Kill for the thrill. The
thrill-seeker comes from all walks of life. He comes from the
home, a home where the parents are too busy to treat their children
with respect.”

Die! Die! Die! Die!
Scum-suckers! Debility divulged!
Anal fuck-fest, thrill Olympics
Savage scourge supply and sanctify
So what? So what?
So what? So what?
Die! Die! Die! Die!

Die! Die! Die! Die!
You said it!
Sedatives supplied become laxatives
My eyes shit out lies
I only kill to know I’m alive
So what? So what?
So what? So what?
Die! Die! Die! Die!

“Kill for the thrill. (assassin) Some people think newspapers
exaggerate juvenile crime. All that is defined mostly to the
large cities, juvenile delinquency is underlined. Thus parents
think something is going wrong with the environment. Adults
create the world, children live it. Juvenile delinquency is
always rooted in adult delinquency. And in this process, parents
play the key role when children grow up among adults who refuse
to recognize anything that is fine and good, or worthy of
respect.”

Die! Die! Die! Die!
So what, it’s your own problem to learn to live with
Destroy us, or make us slaves
We don’t care, it’s not our fault that we were born too late
A screaming headache on the promised age
Killing time is appropriate
To make a mess and fuck all the rest, we say, we say
So what? So what?
So what? So what?
Die!

Die!
Now that I know what it’s like,
I’ll kill them all if I like
Only time will decide
No one listened to reason,
it’s too late and I’m ready to fight
So what? Now I’m ready to fight!
I’m ready to fight! [x4]
Fight! [x4]
So What? [x6]

picture[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: el ritmo de la vida me parece mal

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling / Español Aleatorio (Random Spanish)

Actually it snowed a little bit this morning. Still nothing that stuck, but more of a snow than the flurries the other day.
What I’m listening to right now.

Moderatto, “Si No Te Hubieras Ido.”
Letra.

Te extraño mas que nunca y no se que hacer
despierto y de recuerdo mal amanecer
espera otro dia por vivir sin ti
el espejo no miente me veo tan diferente
me haces falta tu
La gente pasa y pasa y no se que hacer
el ritmo de la vida me parece mal
era tan diferente cuando estabas tu
si que era diferente cuando estabas tu
No hay nada mas dificil que vivir sin ti
sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar
el frio de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti
y no se donde estas
si no te hubieras ido seria tan feliz
No hay nada mas dificil que vivir sin ti
sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar
el frio de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti
y no se donde estas
si no te hubieras ido seria tan feliz
La gente pasa y pasa y no se ke hacer
el ritmo de la vida me parece mal
era tan diferente cuando estabas tu
si que era diferente cuando estabas tu
No hay nada mas dificil que vivir sin ti
sufriendo en la espera de verte llegar
el frio de mi cuerpo pregunta por ti
y no se donde estas
si no te hubieras ido seria tan feliz

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: 아름다운 서울을 사랑하리라

Background Noise / Found Online / 한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean)

There is some very cheesy Korean 80s music. There is a genre called “트로트” (“Trot”) which, although not stylistically similar, fulfills the same cultural function as Country & Western in the US, or maybe Norteño in Mexico. The below is kind of a crossover between Trot and Pop, I guess.
What I’m listening to right now.

이용, “서울.”
가사

종로에는 사과나무를 심어보자
그길에서 꿈을 꾸며 걸어가리라
을지로에는 감나무를 심어보자
감이 익을 무렵 사랑도 익어가리라

아아아아 우리의 서울 우리의 서울
거리마다 푸른 꿈이 넘쳐흐르는
아름다운 서울을 사랑하리라

빌딩마다 온갖 새들을 오게하자
지저귀는 노래소리 들어보리라
거리거리엔 예쁜 꽃을 피게하자
꽃이 피어나듯 사랑도 피어나리라

아아아아 우리의 서울 우리의 서울
거리마다 푸른 꿈이 넘쳐흐르는
아름다운 서을을 사랑하리라

아아아아 우리의 서울 우리의 서울
거리마다 푸른 꿈이 넘쳐흐르는
아름다운 서울을 사랑하리라

[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: The Vacant Lot

A Daily Poem / Background Noise / Book 1 / My Poetry & Fiction

I was walking to work yesterday, and lo and behold, the long-lived vacant lot I go past every day was under construction. I was compelled to attempt a poem, which quickly got out of hand. I began with some metrical ambition, but I abandoned it soon enough – it’s really become just some florid prose with line-breaks, I suppose.
(Poem #22 on new numbering scheme)

An Elegy for the Vacant Lot on the Corner of Gobong-ro and Jungang-ro in Ilsan
November 2015
i.
While mud danced beneath the bulldozer's blades
Like a partly remembered stanza by Vicente Huidobro,
Or Wallace Stevens, and workmen yelled,
I recalled when I had first come to Ilsan,
There had been a real estate office in that empty space,
I think, where garish decor extolled
The virtues of Seoul's burgeoning exurban New Cities, and
Yet pyrrhically represented only lowrise ambition,
And by shoddy construction presented
A forgettable counterexample to upward mobility, so
To see that tiny deserted square of land
Retaken by the hungry machines,
I felt a lamentation rise up inside me,
Like the regret one feels upon
Realizing that someone, who was once a friend
But is no longer a friend, has died.
ii.
Happy weeds, for many months, for many moons,
Flourished in that vacant lot I walk past
As I go to work in the afternoons
Past the corner of Gobong-ro at Jungang-ro,
Providing, for any attentive passers-by,
Compelling lessons in ecological succession, as
First grass loomed large like summer cornfields,
and then woody shrubs appeared while unhappy
Men crept out of sight among them late at night to vomit
During long, festive weekends, and finally
Trees grew tall like warriors amid the city's litter
And the buses recklessly zoomed past
Like ants bearing leaves for their queen.
iii.
So, seeing that, I felt sadness,
But then in that instant, some rain began,
Pulling down yellow and brown leaves from
The remaining trees,
Arriving gradually but as a comfort
Like an old Depeche Mode song,
Suggesting a generous ephemerality
Of the sort that autumn always brings.

Here is a picture of the lot, bulldozers a-buzzing, from across the street.
Vacantlot2

What I’m listening to right now.

Depeche Mode, “Nothing.”
Lyrics.

“Nothing”

Sitting target
Sitting waiting
Anticipating
Nothing
Nothing

Life
Is full of surprises
It advertises
Nothing
Nothing

What am I trying to do
What am I trying to say
I’m not trying to tell you anything
You didn’t know
When you woke up today

Sitting target
Sitting praying
God is saying
Nothing
Nothing

Always
Knows the prospects
Learn to expect
Nothing
Nothing

picture[daily log: walking, 6km]

Caveat: Take care to tell it just as it was

Background Noise / Banalities & Journaling

I think I have a slight cold. I woke up at 5 am all congested and feeling vaguely feverish. I guess that's the changing of the seasons… 

What I'm listening to right now.

Chvrches, "Leave A Trace."

Lyrics.

[Verse 1]
I gave up on time
Just like you said you would
There are tiny cracks of light underneath me
And you say I got it wrong
But I tried hard to uncover them

I have somehow got
Away with everything
Anything you ever did was strictly by design
But you got it wrong
And I'll go anywhere but there

[Pre-Chorus]
And you had best believe
That you cannot build what I don't need
And I know I need to feel relief
And I know you'll never fold
But I believe nothing that I'm told
And I know I need to feel relief

[Chorus]
I know I need to feel released
Take care to tell it just as it was
Take care to tell on me for the cause
I know I need to feel released
Take care to bury all that you can
Take care to leave a trace of a man

[Verse 2]
I will show restraint
Just like we said we should
You think I'll apologize for things I left behind
But you got it wrong
And I'm as sane as I ever was

You talk far too much
For someone so unkind
I will wipe the salt off of my skin
And I'll admit that I got it wrong
And there is grey between the lines

[Pre-Chorus]
And you had best believe
That you cannot build what I don't need
And I know I need to feel relief
And I know you'll never fold
But I believe nothing that I'm told
And I know I need to feel relief

[Chorus]
I know I need to feel released
Take care to tell it just as it was
Take care to tell on me for the cause
I know I need to feel released
Take care to bury all that you can
Take care to leave a trace of a man

[Bridge]
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know

[Chorus]
I know I need to feel released
Take care to tell it just as it was
Take care to tell on me for the cause
I know I need to feel released
Take care to bury all that you can
Take care to leave a trace of a man

[Outro]
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know, I know

[daily log: walking, 6km]

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