ㅁ Well, I'm glad that's over now. This aging... always getting older, how? ...furrowed brow.
– an englyn cil-dwrn .
Month: September 2024
Caveat: The Worst Birthday Gift I Ever Gave Myself
Last year on this day, I wrote the check that made my purchase of the gift store a fact. It also happened to be my birthday. So today, one year on, on my 59th birthday, I take a moment to reflect on this decision to buy the gift store.
Overall, I have a lot of “buyer’s remorse.” I think it was unwise for me to take on this challenge. I won’t say that I’m failing – I think that actually, I’m doing pretty well. I’m keeping the business above water financially, and running a going concern. I’ve even think that I’ve been successful at restoring some of the community trust in the store as longstanding local institution, that had been a bit eroded by the previous owner’s efforts to gentrify the store – gentrification really isn’t something Craig, Alaska, is ready for.
No, I’m not failing at running the store. But I derive almost zero sense of personal accomplishment or satisfaction. It’s only a source of constant stress and neverending miniature crises that each has to be resolved. Being the manager means I’m the person who ultimately always has to say “no” and “I’m sorry” to each and every unhappy stakeholder (customer, employee, vendor, service provider). This is not a role I enjoy in the least. And unlike with teaching, I don’t feel a sufficient sense of reward in the occasional positive feedback to counterbalance that burden. This is difficult for me to parse – I think I am simply more capable of accepting negativity from children, and also somehow more capable of enjoying limited positive responses. With adults (and especially, elderly adults) I have less patience for shortcomings, frankly. I expect old people (which is at least half the gift store’s customer base) to be more considerate, or something. But it doesn’t really work that way, does it? Perhaps it has to do with my own stage of life, as caretaker for a cantankerous elderly adult. I don’t know.
All I know is that I’m mostly miserable with the day-to-day burden of the store, and I resent that it’s become a more-than-full-time job that robs me of my formerly enjoyable time at my various hobbies – my writing, my geofiction, my eccentric “follies” (e.g. the treehouse).
So happy birthday to me. Buying the store currently ranks in the “Top 5” of “Mistakes I’ve Made In My Life.” Disentangling myself, however… I accept it’s a long-term commitment, and even if buying the store was a mistake, I would be compounding the mistake to try to bail ungracefully. So. I’ll cope.
Caveat: Poem #2964 “A clichéd ode to a muddy road”
ㅁ The years fall down like drops of rain. And soon you're just a muddy road. You learn to overlook the pain. The years fall down like drops of rain. You write cliches, the words are plain, 'Cause life deserves an aimless ode. The years fall down like drops of rain. And soon you're just a muddy road.
– a triolet.
Caveat: Links #61
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
- “In the grim darkness of the unevenly distributed future, there is only potato.”
- A more nuanced take on Elon than is typically offered by either fans or critics
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“Perhaps the real issue is that we have become a culture that highly values transgressiveness qua transgressiveness. There are no actual boundaries to the particular sort of transgressiveness that is valued, though of course each subculture will value some types and condemn others. Overall the pattern is seemingly a random distribution of transgression: e.g. marxism, trans politics and queerness on the left, fascism, racism and anti-vax attitudes on the right – there is no logic behind either of these: they are simply the particular chosen transgressions of two major subgroups, and there are plenty of people who pick and choose their preferred transgressions from either side or from other, less common types. It’s essentially a “Chinese menu” of transgression, but there are popular combinations.” – me
Caveat: Poem #2963 “A vorpal haiku”
ㅁ Fentwithe, he dysbawked, impormevisly dehonged, abrue maffended.
– a pseudo-haiku. This poem is nonsense, in the style of Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky. But to be clear, much of my internal monologue is like this.
Caveat: Links #60
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“‘Do no evil’ sounded so negative, so they dropped the ‘no’.”
Caveat: Poem #2962 “Surrender”
#Poetry #Haiku #Senryu
ㅁ the alder leaves fade sometimes fail to turn yellow just fall down instead
– a pseudo-haiku.
Caveat: Links #59
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
- A discussion the weirdness that is the Alaska state legislature, among other things
- Upcoming Strawberry (“Level 2” AI? Maybe not)
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“My spouse: ‘Do you have a plan for clearing out the garage?’ / Me: ‘I have concepts of a plan.'” – internet joke
Caveat: Poem #2961 “The origin of the text”
ㅁ Words pile up, all jumbled, accumulate. Their meanings collect in semiotic berms, to surround the world's events, but without intention, like rain, until at last a text is produced.
– a reverse nonnet.
Caveat: Links #58
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“with tornado brow, and eyes of red murder, and foam-glued lips, Ahab leaped after his prey” – Herman Melville, in Moby Dick
Caveat: Poem #2960 “Last night’s sunset”
ㅁ the sky became large under the clouds' influence drunk on gold sunlight
– a pseudo-haiku.
Caveat: Links #57
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“If everybody contemplates the infinite instead of fixing the drains, many of us will die of cholera.” – John Rich
Caveat: Poem #2959 “Behind the scenes”
ㅁ Weak demons undertake subterfuges; without magic, they bend reality.
– a tetractys.
Caveat: Links #56
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet (this will only make sense if you’re familiar with a certain old tv and movie franchise).
A quote.
“Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.” – Mike Spooner
Caveat: Poem #2958 “Descriptive passage composed while looking out over the adjacent sea”
ㅁ The eagle has a plan: soar. Fly up, first, with wings' strength - a burst - before settling to a glide, no more.
– an englyn penfyr.
Caveat: Links #55
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
- Ancient octopus sex chromosome (sounds like a good name for a band)
- A thing to do with sand at the beach
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“I hope this email finds you, and in the darkness binds you.” – the internet
Caveat: Poem #2957 “The vacuum of deep space”
ㅁ Sometimes I fail to write. The morning plays out, empty. There's no poetry.
– a pseudo-haiku.
Caveat: Links #54
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
- Berkshire Hathaway (a humongous corporation) has a quite minimalist website
- Give a mushroom a robot body (for fun?)
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“The spirit is a bone.” – Hegel
Caveat: Poem #2956 “A very short poem on the subject of a medium-sized slug making progress across the driveway”
ㅁ Slug. Westbound. Ambitious. Or just hungry. Slow.
– a “lanterne” cinquain.
Caveat: Links #53
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
- let’s call it a day before we accomplish something meaningful
- I don’t understand this story but I still keep trying to figure it out
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“If you look on wealth as a thing to be valued your imaginary poverty will cause you torment.” – Seneca
Caveat: Poem #2955 “Oneiric visitation”
ㅁ I dreamed that she died. My mother became a ghost. She came to visit.
– a pseudo-haiku.
Caveat: Links #52
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“The American fascists are most easily recognised by their deliberate perversion of truth and fact. Their newspapers and propaganda carefully cultivate every fissure of disunity … They claim to be super-patriots, but they would destroy every liberty guaranteed by the Constitution. They demand free enterprise, but are the spokesmen for monopoly and vested interest. Their final objective toward which all their deceit is directed is to capture political power so that, using the power of the state and the power of the market simultaneously, they may keep the common man in eternal subjection.” – Vice President Henry A. Wallace, April 90,1944
Caveat: Poem #2954 “Psychology”
ㅁ My mind is a parliament of selves. Angry debates rage on the floor, while the nation, rudderless, careens from rock to rock. The prime minister, having outsourced decisions, resigns. Closed.
– a nonnet.
Caveat: Links #51
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“Our nation is a nation of immigrants. More than any other country, our strength comes from our own immigrant heritage and our capacity to welcome those from other lands.” – Ronald Reagan
Caveat: Poem #2953 “So many shirts”
ㅁ We got many shirts here at our little gift store I spent hours folding
– a pseudo-haiku.
Caveat: Links #50
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.” – Terry Pratchett
Caveat: Poem #2952 “That one hole in the roof”
ㅁ Drop! The leak sent water to the bucket which I'd positioned to catch all the drops.
– a tetractys.
Caveat: Links #49
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
An illustration from the internet.
A quote.
“There are people for whom talk of consciousness is uninteresting. I wonder – maybe it is not so much uninteresting as it is incomprehensible? Which would be to say, that for those people consciousness is not a thing they actually experience.” – JL Jones
Caveat: Poem #2951 “Trail maintenance”
ㅁ I trimmed some branches that blocked my small trail: too easy, can't fail, so I walked along, cutting, while birds talked.
– an englyn penfyr.
Caveat: Links #48
Here are some links I found interesting- without comment.
- Singapore’s Dutch Rasputin
- Travelogue: Mongolia
- The bitcoin play behind a16z’s moment on the road to DaMAGAscus
An illustration from the internet: a moment in a programmer’s life.
A quote.
“If you were in a hypothetical situation, what would you do?” – JL Jones
Caveat: Poem #2950 “The detaching”
ㅁ I think the silence isn't there. Instead, the world is random sound, but all inside, a constant blare. I think the silence isn't there. A buzzing rules the inner air, all meaning's lost, like sailors drowned. I think the silence isn't there. Instead, the world is random sound.
– a triolet.