I'm just feeling really scattered and disorganized as the last days pass before I depart on my trip to the US. As I've commented before, I feel like since my cancer experience, my personality has fundamentally changed – traveling, in general, is not fun for me anymore – which no doubt seems shocking to those who have known me for a long time.
The idea of travel, now, feels like a giant potentiality made up of mostly complications, stress and discomfort. I do genuinely look forward to seeing old friends, family, and places, but I also feel extremely stressed, and I feel none of that "open ended" excitement or "flow" that used to be the main emotions around anticipated travel. I have become a kind of half-time hermit not just in lifestyle but perhaps in spirit as well.
I have a lot of work things to get done before leaving on Saturday – most notably, I have syllabuses to create for all my classes, so the substitute can know what to do. Also, grades and student comments need to be entered for October.
[daily log: walking, 7.5km]