Life goes in circles, sometimes. Or spirals. But you find yourself back where you once were, before, and you wonder if you've gone anywhere, or done anything.
Thus it is for me, sitting in this corner of my father's living room. 11 years ago was nearly the lowest point in my life, and I'm very greatful to my father for the help he gave to me at that time, but there is also some psychological difficulty attached to sitting in this same corner, gazing out across my father's musty and (too) cluttered living room, and recalling that time. The air and my heart feel equally heavy and thick.
I'm feeling anxious about the "quality time" I need to go spend with my accountant, today. The long procrastination on the tax issue is finally coming to an end.
And meanwhile, to pass some time, I've been surfing blogs on the topic of Korea, and finding all kinds of reasons why I don't want to go back there, after very nearly convincing myself that that's what I really wanted to do. I'm vacillating. Or oscillating (like one of those murderous Korean household fans). Sigh.