Caveat: I am ADHD Zombie!

Fifth-grader Junyeol jumped up in the middle of class for no good reason. He does this quite frequently. Sometimes he will make outlandish announcements – most often, in Korean, but occasionally he'll get ambitious and say something in English.

This time, he said the following: "I am ADHD Zombie! So," and he proceeded to mimic a pretty convincing case of severe cerebral palsy, that ended with him simulating a sort of epileptic seizure on the floor. I am NOT kidding.

I was of two minds about this. On the one hand, his disruptions are frequenly annoying. And I was, as usual, growing tired of Junyeol's utter inability to focus. On the other hand, the kid has hilarious comedic talent. Finally, I laughed, and ran out of the room. I brought back my video camera, and after convincing Junyeol to come out from under Hongseop's desk, I said, "I'd like you to do that again."

"Why?" He said, insolently. Korean students say this often, but they mean "What?" They're directly translating the idiomatic Korean "왜?" which literally means "Why" but has the pragmatics of "What" in English.

"The ADHD Zombie thing," I eleaborated.

"So funny!" he commented on his own performance. "OK. One hundred dollar." He held out his hand.

"I'm not going to PAY you for it," I said. I thought about it. It was a pretty good performance. "OK. One dollar," I offered.

"Nooo," Junyeol said, folding his arms stubbornly and looking very serious, sitting back in his seat, finally.

Interestingly, having the video camera present in the room prevented further outbursts from Junyeol for the remainder of the hour. Unfortunately, another student named Jeongyeol decided the simulated epileptic seizure was good schtick, and tried his own version after accidentally falling out of his chair while combatively protesting that he was not, in fact, handicapped. I didn't feel compelled to film it – his version was more pathetic and less over-the-top comedic.

Back to Top