(Poem #26 on new numbering scheme)
I didn't think the sky was so luminous But as the night was just starting I saw An unblackish sort of blue hanging there Like a closing parenthesis in some Overwrought fragment of prose, still starless. I thought the buildings were holding it up But if that was true it would be like glass, Fragile and smooth, but unmoving and cold Yet this dark sky's mood was warm and it spun Above the buildings and trees, just infinite.
– ten lines of some kind of pentameter – not really sure what this is.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Jared, this poem is amazing! It’s beautiful and haunting, syntactically rich, and formally compelling. Before making comparisons, I should go back and read more of your poems posted on this blog, but this is my favorite of those I have happened to read here over the years.
Bob
Hey Bob. Thank you for the truly generous feedback. It’s quite strange, to me, sometimes, because there seems to be no correlation between the effort I put into my writing and the quality of the result. In fact, I’d hazard that there is a bit of an inverse correlation. This bit was utterly casual – a single writing, just jotted into the text window, no revision, posted after a few days. Other bits where I work and work come out frustratingly.
Anyway, congratulations, too – this comment is my blog’s exact 500th comment according the analytics.
Take care,