[This post and the others on this topic was written on paper in fragments or even less – single word prompts for ideas – at the time of the events – and assembled later. It’s taken a while to put things together… not through any particular emotional difficulty but just lacking the energy and willpower to do much in the weeks right after the surgery, in addition to a certain perfectionism with respect to the project which I’ve now managed to finally abandon.]
Sixth Shift Word: Kindness
My last shift was a morning shift, and I had a very competent and cheerful woman with glasses who reminded me of a sort of Korean version of my friend Amy (who is a nurse).
I didn’t really have any major insight during this time. I was feeling stronger, more in control, and after my philosophical exchanges with the night nurse, I’d allowed myself several periods of full-on sleep (as opposed to my microdreaming, mentioned two posts back).
This is a sheet of some my conversation with the morning nurse.
This next sheet is my last paper in the ICU – it’s a brief exchange with Dr Ryu, who did some aggressive poking around in my mouth and throat, removing the oxygen tube completely. I spoke too soon on one note: “I feel good. No infections!” That triumphal note haunted me later, when the neck infection became the largest obstacle to my smooth recovery.
The main point, though, is that by this time I had become convinced, based on my experiences of gratitude and suffering in the previous two days, that kindness was the key.
Doing kindness makes us feel better, too.
It’s not like I never thought kindness was important, before. I remember distinctly a conversation I had with Curt way back in 2008, when he was my boss at LinguaForum, when he asked me what I thought was the most important quality in a teacher, and I answered without hesitation that it was “kindness.” To which Curt, at the time, had said only “hmff.”
Now, though… kindness is not just the most important quality of a teacher. Now, kindness is the most important quality. Period.
Don’t let me forget it.
