Caveat: “Notes for Korean”

Over the last month, I’ve been trying to get more serious and disciplined about my study of Korean.  I have begun to keep little computerized notes, every single day, of interesting or useful vocabulary items, phrases, and things like that.  But I’ve reached a point where I have compiled enough of these that they’re becoming difficult to keep organized;  more importantly, I sometimes go looking for something I know that I put into a note, and cannot find it.  Also, some of these things are things I would love to have found by searching online, in the same way that I have found other similar things.
Because of all of that, I have decided that it might be useful to post these daily notes and observations about Korean as a kind of footnote to each day’s blog entry.  This will make them searchable by not just me but by anyone – although it won’t improve their level of organization.  But with google, who needs organization? – just let the spiders crawl around and find it, right?
So, starting today, I will include a little, disorganized spattering of notes somewhere in each blog entry.  Most of my regular readers (how many are there, really? 3?  2?) will not have much use for this, but they’re mostly going to be there just for myself, as it’s a convenient and logical place to put them – I’ll be able to access them anytime I need, and I’ll be able to search them, too.  Further, by compiling them I’m helping myself to remember them, and I can express my joy at trying to make sense of this fascinating yet difficult language.
-Notes for Korean-
context:  my cellphone’s “phrase of the day”:  식품 매장이 몇 층에 있는지 알려주실 수 있습니까?
매장 =department, floor (as in a dept store), store
so:  식품 매장=food floor, food court
and: 알리다=know, tell, inform, notify
context:  episode 13 of 쾌걸춘향, 춘향 says to 몽룡, “금해애애!” (approximately) = “stop thaaaat”
금하다 =refrain, prohibit, or (idiomatically) stop doing something
In researching this online, I also found an interesting double negative:
…-ㅁ을 금할 수 없어요 = [I] can not stop myself from …
context:  deciphering instructions in a student textbook
풀이 =explanation, clarification
찾다= seek, search for, spot
발견 =discovery, revelation
발견하다=find, discover
context:  conversation of words with a coworker
나륵풀=basil (the herb)
풀=grass, herb, plant, pasturage, weed
context:  trying to figure out instructions on a korean website
지나다=pass, spend, elapse… etc. (I should know this – it’s lesson 1 in most Korean-as-a-foreign-language textbooks!)
사용=use, employment, appropriation
복사=reproduction, copy
주소=address
똑=exactly, precisely
소리=noise, sound, talk, word
끝=end, conclusion
처음=first, beginning, start, cf. 첫
도우미=helper, wizard (in computers)
정보=information, report
닫다=close (close button says 닫기)
당신=a special word meaning “you” (I should know this)
context:  vocab words for “blue” class
discover (v)=발견하다
energy=정력, 에너지
forecast=예보
shed (v)=벗다
source (n)=원천
stay (v)=머무르다
put on (v)=입다
until=-까지 (nominal ending)
spot (v)=발견하다, 찾다
always=항상
have seen / haven’t seen=본적 있는 / 본적이 없는
Meanwhile, in other pursuits… I rediscovered a Portuguese poet named Fernando Pessoa, who apparently wrote criticisms of his own poetry under alternate pseudonyms (heteronyms). This is interesting, cf. Borges. I vaguely recall running across him before, but, if so, I completely forgot him.  I was reading the Portuguese-language wikipedia article about him, just to entertain my linguistic fancy, I guess – keeping myself challenged, and all that.  And under the Spanish-language article on him, I found the following pithy observation about Pessoa by Octavio Paz:  “nada en su vida es sorprendente, nada excepto sus poemas” (nothing in his life is surprising, nothing except his poetry).

Quote of the day:
Tenho o dever de me fechar em casa no meu espírito e trabalhar quanto possa e em tudo quanto possa, para o progresso da civilização e o alargamento da consciência da humanidade.” – Fernando Pessoa

picturePessoa is perhaps best known in the English-speaking world for his last words:  “I know not what tomorrow may bring.” I’m sure others may have said these words as their last, too, but he’s the one to whom the quote is generally attributed. It’s notable that he, in fact, wrote them rather than speaking them, as he was unable to speak at the time. And it’s also worth noting that they were in English, not Portuguese, since English was a second native language for him, because he’d spent much of his childhood in South Africa.
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Caveat: existentialist-in-chief

I was reading an article discussing General Clark's recent comments regarding McCain's qualifications to be "commander-in-chief."  (The thought being, roughly, that having been a prisoner-of-war is brave and shows strong character, but isn't the same as command experience.)  I was thinking about that phrase, commander-in-chief.  And began toying with the idea of McCain as "prisoner-of-war-in-chief," reflecting on the way that a person's formative experiences and character can come to define a presidency:  Nixon as rogue-in-chief, Reagan as movie-star-in-chief, Clinton as bubba-in-chief. 

In this vein, and if McCain is to be prisoner-of-war-in-chief, what would Obama be?  I think about aspects of his character and formative experiences, and think, maybe something like community-activist-in-chief?  Perhaps, less charitably, he could become our Urkel-in-chief.  There's definitely something to the idea that, like the sitcom prototype (the legendary Urkel), Obama manages to transcend racial and cultural stereotypes in part through his nerdiness – which is to say, nerdiness as an essential stereotype runs "deeper" than race.  Which actually says something pretty positive about the state of race relations in America, maybe.  I  think it was Joel Stein who first suggested the comparison between Obama and Urkel, but I don't know that most of the comparisons have been entirely meant to be positive.  Still… who am I, as pale white ubernerd, to judge?

Caveat: Parlez Hançais?

Konglish (Koreanized English, sometimes also called Engrish, though that term also includes Japanized English, and I don’t really like that term) permeates Korean popular culture, especially in the spheres of marketing.   Konglish exists at several different levels, from more-or-less correct English messages attached to advertising, to random English words or pseudo-English words plastered on t-shirts, to “hangeulized” English in the form of minimally adapted loanwords into Korean, and especially used as product names and brand names.
Many examples of “hangeulized” English (i.e. English written using the Korean writing system, and adapted therefore to Korean phonology) can be found on the shelves of the grocery store.  Here is an example:
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This is a brand of iced coffee that I buy.  The cursive-looking hangeul at the top spells out “Kantata” (i.e. Cantata, as in a piece of music), then right under that in smaller letters it says “orijineol wondu keopi” (original wondu coffee).   The phrase “wondu keopi” repeats under the coffee beans picture, and then it says “peurimieom beullendeu pollipenol 100 mg” (premium blend polyphenol 100mg).  See how that works?
Ok, actually what I want to write about is what appears to be an emerging related phenomenon, which is the use of “hangeulized” French, also in marketing. The advantages seem to be a) French has a novelty factor, while English is rather worn out, b) French has the same high-social-status element that English does, but with less historical and geopolitical baggage (at least here in Korea – don’t try this in e.g. Vietnam).
What’s really interesting, to me, is the subtle way that the French phonological system, as represented using the Latin alphabet, is hangeulized differently for a given etymon than would be done for an identical word in English. Here is a bakery that just opened a few blocks west of here (and note the use of perfectly acceptable English in the supporting text to the brand-name):
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The sign’s hangeul reads “bon geurang bageteu” (which is bon grand baguette in French – bad French, actually, since it messes up the gender agreement between the adjectives and the noun, I think). The word “grand” is common enough in both French and English, and if it were an English word being hangeulized, they’d do something more along the lines of “geuraendeu,” but, because it’s French, they capture the different quality of the french vowel, along with the nasalized ending, by doing it as “geurang.”
I’m sure very few people find this as fascinating as I do. I can’t make excuses for my stupid interests. But I’ve decided this hangeulized French needs a name, along the lines of the term Konglish. And I think “Hançais” is just perfect – “han” meaning Korean (in Korean), and -çais for the French part, of course.
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Caveat: Verbcastles

Allegedly, the Korean language has no relative pronouns.  So how do they phrasally modify a noun?  They do this cool thing whereby they can nominalize a verb (and all its accompanying baggage, subject, object, etc.) and make it the object or subject of another verb.  And this can pile up:  a nominalized verb phrase functioning as the subject of another verb, which in turn is nominalized and made the subject of another, etc., ad infinitum.
I won’t even dare to try to show an example – I don’t want to embarrass myself by publishing mutilated Korean.  But it’s mind-boggling complex and yet syntactically elegant.  We can do it in English, within certain limits, but our natural Subject-Verb-Object word order makes it difficult to enchain indefinitely, while Korean’s Subject-Object-Verb order means the structures can nest comfortably.   Maybe I can try to conjure some reliable and concrete examples.

Meanwhile, I have been contemplating sandcastles, and found this old picture of a sandcastle Jeffrey (my stepson), Andrew (my brother) and I built on a Santa Monica beach in 1994.

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Think of them as complex syntactical objects made of sand.
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Caveat: Humilific Fun

“Humilific” is a real word – it describes a class of Korean words (mostly verb infixes and pronouns) that are used to show deference on the part of a speaker with respect to a listener.  They are somewhat the inversion of an honorific, which are linguistically more common, and which exalt the listener’s position with respect to the speaker.  A good example of a beginner’s level humilific is the use of 저(jeo) instead of 나(na) to mean “I” (first person singular).  When I call a student’s house, and I get a parent who I can’t expect to speak English, I have a phrase of badly pronounced Korean where I say “I am the English teacher” and I use this humilific form for the “I” in this sentence:  “저는…” (jeo-neun …).
Here is a picture of a building I saw in Suwon, on top of the hill I climbed there last month when I went there, just for kicks and to provide something interesting to look at.
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And for those who feel that the price of gas in the U.S. is out of control, consider this:
pictureThat’s 1913 Korean won per liter, which comes out to about $7.25 a gallon at recent exchange rates.  The fact is, American gasoline is highly subsidized, if only indirectly – not least by that astronomical Iraq war cost, but also by military aid to e.g. Saudi Arabia.
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Caveat: The Joys of Pronouns

I have book I bought, called Survival Korean Vocabulary, by Bryan Park.  I like to browse through it when I have some minutes to kill, as it organizes over 6000 words thematically and provides very idiomatic-seeming sentences in which each word is used, so it's a good way to "surf" the language and try to acquire some new words, at least for passive recognition.

So in there I found the following quotable line, in one of the little "tip" boxes the author provides:  "Unlike in English, Koreans don't enjoy using pronouns."  I think this is true.  But it's a wonderful way to phrase the concept.   As if English speakers derive some frisson of pleasure from pronoun usage.

Caveat: Meditations for a Newsletter

My boss is trying to put together a newsletter for the school, as part of a broader marketing strategy.  He asked me to write some material (most of which would end up being translated, since the target is parents, not students).  Because I'm not feeling particularly imaginative, I thought I'd use some of this pre-translated material as the content of my blog today.

Pronunciation Clinic.  Each passage
provides opportunities to explain specific pronunciation problems.
In the above passage [not reproduced for this blog], for example, we talk about

  1. "dark L" versus "clear
    L" – the letter "L" in American English has two
    pronunciations, depending on if it is at the beginning of a syllable
    (clear or "light" L) or at the end of it (dark L).

    There are two difficulties for Korean speakers in learning
    these sounds:  1) Korean has no sound like the "dark L"
    and 2) the Korean has
    a "clear L" sound, but unfortunately, only at the end of
    syllables (because Korean at
    the beginning of a syllable is not an "L" sound at all,
    but an English "R"!).  This means that Koreans are used to
    saying the "clear L" sound only at the ends of syllables,
    which is exactly where English always changes to a "dark L".
    For some speakers of American English especially, when we hear a
    "clear L" in place of a "dark L" at the end of a
    syllable, it can make it difficult or even impossible for us to
    understand, since in our language a "clear L" at the end
    of a syllable is "impossible"!

    This passage
    (above) has a perfect contrast of these two sounds, in the words
    "normal" versus "normally".  The "L"
    in the first is at the end of the syllable in the first word, so it
    is a "dark L", while in the second word, because of the
    adverbial ending -ly, the "L" "moves" to the
    beginning of the following syllable, so it is a "clear
    L".

    Because Korean has no sound similar to the "dark
    L", and because they tend use "clear L" instead, this
    creates confusion for native listeners.  I tell my students it is
    better to change the "dark L" into a weak, vowel-type
    sound similar to "O" (or Korean ).
    Thus the last sound in /normao/ sounds more like "dark L"
    than /normal/ where the last "L" is a "clear L"
    (American English speakers will hear /normar/ if you make it a
    "clear L", and that's not a word!)

  2. "Schwa" is the name we
    give in English to the sound we write phonetically as /ə/.  This
    sound is the most common sound in the English language – and
    it doesn't exist in Korean!  So it can be difficult to learn.  Part
    of the problem is that the schwa sound can be represented by any of
    the English vowel letters – a, e, i, o, u, y.  Look at the
    following:

  • 'a' in about [əbaʊt]

  • 'e' in taken [teɪkən]

  • 'i' in pencil [pɛnsəl]

  • 'o' in eloquent [ɛləkwənt]

  • 'u' in supply [səplaɪ]

  • 'y' in sibyl [sɪbəl]

English often changes vowels to schwa
when they are unstressed.   For example, the word "the" is
almost always pronounced [ðə] because it is an unstressed word
in English.  But people are surprised to learn that, in the very rare
case where the word "the" is stressed, it is often
pronounced [ði]!

Another good example in the above
passage is the word "satisfaction" which is pronounced
[sætəsfækʃən]. Note the stress is on the third
syllable, and this causes the vowels in the two syllables on each
side of the stressed syllable to "drop" to the schwa.  The
best way for Koreans to learn this sound is to listen to a native
speaker carefully and repeat the sound in various words over and over
again.

Keys to mastering English!

People so often ask me, "what is
the easiest, fastest way for me to learn to speak English like a
native-speaker?"  Here are some ideas.

Imitation.

There are many things to remember, but
I think one important thing that people often forget is that learning
a language requires constant imitation.
  Do not be afraid to repeat what you hear.  And repeat it again.
And again.  Memorize phrases, and repeat them to yourself as you walk
places, or when you're alone at home, or as you go to sleep, or as
you wake up.

Inhibition.

Another important
thing is that you must not be afraid of failure.  Someone once said:
"Speaking a foreign language is something that everyone
appreciates, even if you do it badly."  In this way, it is
different from most things – nobody wants to ride in a car with a
person who drives badly, or eat food made by someone who cooks badly.
But even if you speak English (or Korean, or whatever language
you're learning) badly, you're still a hero.  So don't be shy.
Speak!  Every effort is worthwhile.

Confusion is Fun!

The
last thing I tell my students is:  "If you understand everything
I'm saying, you're not learning anything."  If I think my
students are understanding everything, I start to use more difficult
words or grammar on purpose, because I want
them to be a little confused.  It pulls them along.  So don't feel
afraid or frustrated if you don't understand everything you hear in
English – see it as an opportunity to learn something new.   Learn to
love the feeling of confusion you get when you hear difficult
English, and remind yourself that the feeling of confusion means
there is something new there for you to learn.

I really should take my own advice on language-learning, with respect to better and more effectively learning Korean.  It's always easier to give advice than to follow it, though.  Sigh.

Caveat: Those Southern Californian Ojibwe

The name "Pasadena" doesn't come from Spanish (or from some hispanized Native Californian name or word), as I'd always imagined and assumed.  It certainly, and conveniently, sounds  vaguely Spanish, doesn't it?  Perhaps that's why I've never been able to discover the etymology.  Until today.  And now I have a new piece of useless trivia to clutter my brain.

The name "Pasadena" means "of the valley" and comes from the Minnesota Chippewa language (more properly, Ojibwe).   And all those other Pasadenas out there in the world were named for the California one – I've verified this, via a few minutes with google:  Pasadena, Texas;  Pasadena, Newfoundland; and Pasadena, South Australia – all named for the old California city.  So, probably the other Pasadenas, also (e.g. I know there's a Pasadena Park, Missouri, and a Pasadena in Florida, I believe).

So how did a Minnesota Ojibwe name get attached to what was originally an 1880's California resort community?

Caveat: Oh Hay Lite

LOLCat is a sort of name for that weird dialect of internetchatese that is only semiliterate, is full of acronyms (such as LOL = laughing out loud) and contains lots of both deliberate and accidental "cute" misspellings.  And, just as someone, somewhere, is translating the Bible into Klingon, so it is the case, I have discovered, that someone is working hard to translate that same document into LOLCat.

Here are the first three verses of John:

1 In teh beginz is teh cat macro, and teh cat macro sez "Oh hai Ceiling Cat" and teh cat macro iz teh Ceiling Cat.2 Teh cat macro an teh Ceiling Cat iz teh bests frenz in teh begins. 3 Him maeks alls teh cookies; no cookies iz maed wifout him.4 Him haz teh liefs, an becuz ov teh liefs teh doodz sez "Oh hay lite."5 Teh lite iz pwns teh darks, but teh darks iz liek "Wtf."

More internet wackiness:  Check out Happy Tree Friends – but don't bring your children, these things are quite violent.

Caveat: … furiously

I continue to struggle with my alleged boringness. It's a common enough criticism that I cannot dismiss it. How do I become a less boring teacher? A less boring person. There were many things I didn't want to become, in life… and boring was one of them.

Mientras tanto, some (boring) quotes:

"We don't want to be swayed by superficial eloquence, by emotion and so on." – Noam Chomsky

"It can only be the thought of verdure to come, which prompts us in the autumn to buy these dormant white lumps of vegetable matter covered by a brown papery skin, and lovingly to plant them and care for them. It is a marvel to me that under this cover they are labouring unseen at such a rate within to give us the sudden awesome beauty of spring flowering bulbs. While winter reigns the earth reposes but these colourless green ideas sleep furiously." – C.M. Street

Caveat: Is Obamism a Sin?

I just finished reading Obama's book, Dreams from My Father.   It is an extremely well-written book, and eerily inconclusive, considering it's written by a politician.  I was really quite impressed – it's the first time I've been that riveted by an autobiography in a long time.

So, does that mean I'm ready to come out and endorse him?  Well… not that far – not yet.  If only because I always resist, at a visceral level, the most popular option – and he's definitely flirting with "most popular" lately.  I'll maybe write some more about my thoughts about this situation later.

Meanwhile, the snow piled up on bushes and trees; it was lovely this morning.  And it got colder, unlike it normally does after a snowfall, so the white glittery may be sticking around for a while, this time.  Things felt all crisp and Minnesotaey this evening as I walked home from work.

Caveat: 민주주의의 의의

The phrase of the day is:  "  민주주의의 의의."  Not primarily because of its meaning (roughly, "the significance of democracy") but because it's my latest addition to a reluctantly expanding collection of "impossible to pronounce" phrases.

Note that the syllable "의" is repeated four times.  This hangul's official romanization is either "ui" or "wi", but neither of these capture two complicating factors.  First of all, neither romanization indicates much about the real sound.  I would describe it as something similar to a cross between a French "u" and a Russian "ы", but more diphthongized.  But the additional problem is that it's one of those phonemes that shifts around allophonically depending on both word-position and grammatical role, with the consequence that the same symbol repeated four times receives three distinct pronunciations:  in the phrase above, transcribed, roughly, "min-ju-ju-i-e-ui-i". 

So, perhaps unfortunately, you won't find me discussing democracy's significance – in Korean – anytime soon.

Caveat: Klingons

Did you know that a group of people are working to translate not only the works of Shakespeare, but also the Bible, into the Klingon language?  Is this a great world, or what?

In other news, I definitely despise my web host provider, hostingdude.com. Since coming to Korea, I have not once been able to complete any kind of transaction with the hosting admin website without also having to call them up to get them to accept a credit card number, or unlock a password which has been locked (probably because I’m coming at it from some disreputable “foreign” IP address), or some other problem.

This, despite the fact that I was very careful when trying to choose a provider to find one that allegedly would allow me to work with them exclusively online. So… they suck. But transferring my domains and website away from them while in my current overseas location will likely be very painful and possibly expensive. Which leaves me in that most unpleasant of positions, the helpless consumer. Maybe the people who run hostingdude.com are grumpy, human-hating klingons.

Below is a picture of where I work, with it’s new dark purple LinguaForum Eohagwon sign across the second floor. So those second-floor windows under the purple sign are classrooms where I teach.
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Caveat: Cake’s existence is have eat cake

My students have to keep writing journals, where they are supposed to make diary entries and/or respond to little pithy quotes with something reflective.  One of my lower-level students, but still quite intelligent and talented, when confronted with a request to reflect on the idea of "to have one's cake and eat it too," wrote "cake's existence is have eat cake."  This seemed truly profound to me.  But that might just be the cold medicine, acting up.

Caveat: Twisted discourse and green giraffes

I was telling a few of my students about some tongue-twisters today, and they particularly liked the one about woodchucks.  But then they surprised me by teaching me a Korean tongue-twister, that I actually was able to understand with a minimal amount of parsing:
“내가 그린 기린 그림은 잘 그린 기린 그림이고 니가 그린 기린 그림은 잘 못 그린 기린 그림이다.”
Since it’s a tongue-twister, for the full effect, here is a transliteration:  “Naega geurin girin geurimeun chal girin geurim-igo, niga geurin girin geurimeun chal mot girin geurim-ida.”
And, for your reading pleasure, here is a rough translation:  “My picture of a giraffe is a good picture, [but] your picture of a giraffe is not a good picture.”
pictureHowever, there is the additional confusion that 그린 could be a Konglish rendering of “green,” which makes me think of green giraffes.
I really, really like this phrase.  I think it’ll be my motto for the month!  Boy is it hard to say, though.
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Caveat: Psychogeographie et l’art de la dérive

I was listening to Warren Olney's (sp?) "Which Way L.A." radio program last night, and he had as a guest a man named Will Self who is a practitioner of Guy Debord's psychogeography – a 50's situationist pseudo-artistic movement that endeavored to move around cities in unexpected ways, thus  "reading" urban landscapes  in some way via the subconscious.  Or something like that.  But I realized that I may actually be a long-term  psychogeographer, given my love of wandering about urban spaces without plan, map or program. 

Will Self had just spent the day before walking in a straight line from LAX to Watts – about 11 miles, and something very much like what I would do – indeed, more than once while living in LA I would take long undirected and notably untouristic walks, once walking from Long Beach to San Pedro, for example.  And just recently I've taken some rather random jaunts around Seoul, as well as last Saturday's long hike from Imjingang to Munsan-eup.

It's a rather high-falutin'-sounding term, though.  I like better Debord's concept of 'dérive' – "drift."  This suits me just fine.  I think I'll pursue it.

Caveat: Imaginary Languages and Cacti.

If you know me well, you know that I have a strange love for language – not just living language or specific languages, but also language as an abstraction.  When I was still quite young, this interest in language as an abstraction showed itself in the form of a past time of inventing made-up languages – by the time I was nine I had invented some rather elaborate ones, no doubt under the influence of Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and others.
One in particular, which I recall I called Urka, included complex and very un-English grammatical rules, intentionally obscure irregular word forms, carefully crafted lists of vocabulary purged of anything that might appear cognate to English, and its own writing system.  I had attributed this language to an imaginary race of fuzzy, toothy beings for whom I also invented strange cultural practices and to whom I granted a broad commitment to nonviolent conflict resolution.  I was such an idealist.
Anyway, I was reminded of Urka recently, as I came to one of those eerie, deja-vu realizations.  I was studying my Korean, a bit, and it suddenly struck me – perhaps my weird interest and fascination with Korean lies in the fact that it is the real world language that most closely resembles old Urka, with its conflation of adjective/verb, plethora of grammatical particles, emminently logical and strictly phonological writing system.
Not everything is the same, of course – in particular, the Urka writing system was more like one of the semitic abjads (i.e. a system that relegates vowels to optional diacritics, like Arabic or Hebrew) than the hangeul syllabary.  And visually of a style like, say, Sanskrit.  Nevertheless, in retrospect I now remember such a thought (i.e. the striking resemblances between Urka and Korean) occurring to me almost 20 years ago, sitting in a comparative grammar class as a linguistics major in college, when I was first exposed some of the delicious oddities of Korean grammar, if only at an abstract level – which is to say that, like many linguists, I have known for 20 years about the conflation of verbs and adjectives in Korean, yet I only actually bothered to learn an actual verb or adjective about a year and a half ago.
Anyway, as I walked back to the subway from the bookstore I found yesterday, I was suddenly struck by this weird insight:  Korean is my Urka.  I hadn’t thought of that, last year as I studied in college, but I must have realized it at some level, as I began obsessing about wanting to try to learn the language.
I was surfing the web last night, and found a strange list some guy had put together, in which he would give “difficulty ratings” to various languages, with regard to how easy or hard they are to learn for English speakers.  These ratings were in the form of a number, one to five, of “cacti” – kind of like granting stars to restaurants.  And he said something to the effect that Korean was definitely a five cacti language.  And another thought this provoked in me, that perhaps my interest in trying to learn Korean lies more in my sheer perverse interest for trying deliberately difficult things, at least intellectually.
Note that above, I have been careful to say “try to learn” rather than “to learn” – I’ve been feeling discouraged about my potential for success, lately:  feeling overwhelmed by the difficulties of pronunciation, of sorting out the wacky vowels when listening, the inevitable infinite lists of new words.
안녕히 가세요!
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Caveat: The rest of the story

I had bought a "package" tour, for the simple reason that it seemed like a much better value, given the limited scope of my intended visit. 

Included in the package was:  round trip by ferry from Algeciras to Ceuta; bus (or, as it turned out, minivan) passage from Ceuta to Tetouan to Tanger to Ceuta (a little triangle on the map, about 50 km to a side); three meals – lunch, dinner, breakfast; hotel in Tanger.

Morocco, day 1. 

I showed up at the offices of Eurotras (eurotrash?), the tour company, at the ferry terminal in Algeciras, at around 8 am.  They gave us (those of us on the tour) tickets for Ceuta (not the return tickets, which we were to receive in Ceuta on return), and an envelope that contained the documentation for the remainder of the trip, to present to the guide at Ceuta.

My companions were a young portuguese couple, she spoke spanish fairly well, but her husband was brazilian (from Minas Gerais) and was adamantly monolingual.  I can understand portuguese fairly well if I work at it, but Rodrigo was pretty darn opaque.  Victoria, however, was interesting to talk to.  She works in a temporary agency (one of those people who interview the temps and place them in jobs) in Lisboa.  She had a lot of penetrating observations on the neo-liberal economic model and the precariousness of the world's job markets.

When we arrived at Ceuta, we were met by two guides – a gentleman named Mohamed and another whose name I never quite figured out.  Mohamed spoke excellent spanish and atrocious english, but insisted on trying to say everything in both languages, which was occasionally quite painful to listen to. 

We were also joined at this point by a retired british couple, who were staying with relatives in Gibraltar and had decided to make a day trip to Morocco.  The Portuguese couple were also on a day trip… I was the only one who was planning to stay overnight.

We got into a minivan that had phenomenally uncomfortable seats.  Perhaps I'm overly used to the reasonably comfortable seats on trains, these days.

At the border with Morocco, there was a substantial delay.  Based on reading I'd done online the night before, this is standard – it's got to do with the fact that Ceuta is to Morocco what Gibraltar is to Spain – an "illegitimately occupied enclave."  The British man (Doug?  A retired lawyer) observed the interesting parallel, and I said it seemed like a classic "pecking order" – britain takes gibraltar from the spanish, so spain takes ceuta from the moroccans, so the moroccans take all of former spanish sahara from the sahareños, who live in refugee camps in the desert and have the highest infant mortality rate in the world.  All's fair in love, war, and geopolitics.

So from the Moroccan perspective, we were entering their country from an administrative limbo.  Fortunately, our guides mediated this complex process – one commentary online I read said that this was just one of many places where having a guide is not just a good idea, but really the only option. 

Really, in this very different world, every transaction must be mediated.  So, we drove down the mediterranean coast, for about an hour, as low, cobalt clouds scudded over the rubble-strewn countryside.  Reminded me of the landscape in the northern part of Baja California, where, in the winter, the hills are equally green and the towns are equally squalid.  It was chilly, and a hard wind blew from the north, making the whitecaps on the mediterranean tilt sideways.

We arrived in Tetouan and got off the van, and plunged into the ancient (14th-16th century) medina.  Tetouan was founded in the 14th century, but received it's primary population in the thousands of mozarabs (muslim spaniards) and jews who were expelled from spain by the catholic hierarchy at the end of the 15th c. 

There was a steady drizzle, which mixed with the rotting vegetables, spit, concrete "crumbs," and dogshit to make a light coating of sludge in the narrow passageways of the medina.  Everywhere behind our little tour-group, children and gap-toothed men would follow, demanding "solo un e-uro please merci" in exchange for some trinket or another.  And men selling belts, oranges, gum.  And women on their knees in heavy kaftans and berber hats. 

The guides showed us the jewish quarter, and the discourse was a weird case of cognitive dissonance.  On the one hand, he expressed pride that Morocco treated jews as equal citizens, had "opened its arms" to the jews expelled from spain in the 15th c., and later to those escaping from Nazism.  He emphasized the current, relatively peaceful, coexistence of muslims, catholics, and jews in the kingdom. 

On the other hand, Mohamed also was keen to observe that, "como los judios tenien todo el dinero" (since the jews have all the money), they've moved from the medina to nicer neighborhoods.  I suppose that, in stereotype terms, many Jews are probably well-off – all stereotypes come from somewhere.  But the bitterness with which the words were pronounced was profoundly anti-Jewish.

One has to be careful with the word anti-semite – this word is never quite accurate as currently used (ie. to refer to anti-Jewish sentiment), but is especially inaccurate when applied to arabs, who also represent a great semitic language and civilization.  One could say that current european anti-semitism is finally coming "home" to its etymological roots, since modern europeans seem to hate equally both arabs and jews.  But an arab anti-semite is etymologically nonsensical.  More on racism, later.

Then came the first of the "hard" sells.  We were taken to a carpet shop.  Apparently, foreign visitors to morocco are expected to buy rugs.  Despite repeated reassurances that "no tienes que comprar nada" – you don't have to buy anything – the pressure was intense, and the prices – as I persisted with "no gracias" "non merci" "laa shukran" – shrunk tenfold.  A carpet quoted at 770 euros dropped to 80 euros an hour later.  I suppose there are visitors who buy sooner than later, and pay the first price? 

What would that same rug be priced at, at wal-mart?  39.99?  What's the person's labor worth – probably a berber woman – who made the rug?  At Wal-Mart's price, it's pennies an hour… less.  At the tourist special (770 euros), she may actually be close to american minimum wage.  But what american or european would be happy paying that price?  She wouldn't see that money anyway … she's already been paid, perhaps 20 or 30 dollars, for her work.  The rest goes to the middlemen – whether a merchant in the medina in tetouan or to the corporate coffers at wal-mart.

The mint tea they served at the carpet shop was quite tasty.  I think that the merchants were especially annoyed with me, as opposed to the brits or the portuguese, because the mistook my willingness to chat for an interest in their product.  It was really a linguistic accident – I was the only one sufficiently fluent in a language they were comfortable with to be able to chat (Spanish – many Moroccans are quite fluent in Spanish, especially in the north, which was – until after WWII – a Spanish colony).

I found that, on the street, a refusal to say anything but "laa, shukran" was the best strategy to discourage sellers of things – my theory is that I thus could convert myself into a linguistic enigma – it was clear I knew no Arabic except for those words, but my refusal to lapse into anything else (English, French, Spanish) prevented them from getting their grip on any kind of "discursive handle."  Left without a linguistic point of contact, they could only stare at me and gesture to their product. 

Crap, do I sound condescending?  I don't mean to be.  Maybe I should try to comment on that, further on, but, let me try to explain something.  Tourism is an act of violence.  It's violent in the same sense that pouring a volatile chemical (say, an acid or a base) into a thriving colony of insects living in a terrarium is an act of violence.  The chemical consists of molecules that either have a surplus or a shortage of electrons, and these "radicals" naturally destabilize those around them, molecules otherwise perfectly content to get on with their "lives" as parts of bugs or plants. 

Ripping away those electrons destabilizes the equilibrium, and next thing you know, all biosystems and ecosystems are damaged or completely broken.  Likewise, the tourist arrives with a surplus of money and is alien to the local chemical balance, and a storm ensues as the elements in the system seek a new equilibruim. 

I like the metaphor, though I expect it needs to be developed.  Meanwhile, let's ponder the accident that in casual american english, at least, terrorism and tourism are near-homonyms – I think my mother pointed this out to me in an email recently.  Let's play with that.

My thinking is that the best way to avoid being guilty of this kind of violence is to "go native."  You work to remove the flags that tell those around you that you're a "radical" and mark you as a source of surplus.  This is possible for me, as an american, in europe, and, to a more limited extent, also in latin america.  But there are issues of race and comportment that make such chameleonism impossible outside of the "occidental" world. 

This is what I wanted to comment on earlier, vis-a-vis race:  racism is just that process whereby distinguishing features beyond the control of the individual possessing them become cultural "flags" indicative of traits feared or devalued by others. 

The human brain is a sophisticated but non-standard statistical engine of a sort… it makes observations of saliency and calculations of probability and draws correlations of its own accord, and in ways not necessarily "rational."  If a man in a purple hat comes into a room and starts shooting people, and then the next day a man with a purple hat comes into the same room with some of the same people, you can bet those people are going to get nervous.  Why?  Because they made a correlation on a salient trait.  It's not statistically valid by standard statistics, but the process is driven by saliency, not just probability. 

One definition of data analysis (my current "profession"?) is the search for true saliency amid the sea of false salients – ie. statistically legitimate correlations.  But when people criticize racial profiling on the grounds of "accuracy" or "fairness," they're missing the statistical boat.  The only grounds for criticizing racial profiling are moral-ethical – by which I mean you simply have to take, a priori, that such profiling is wrong because it "dehumanizes" (also a problematic term, e?). 

So then we had some lunch.  A delicious curry-like soup, couscous, with chicken, carrots, leeks or cabbage(?), beef on skewers, some sweet bread for desert.   The restaurant itself was beautiful, with tiled arabesques, arches, rugs on the floor.

Caveat: La capitale d’un projet pour définir

Dateline: Luxembourg

I went to Brussel with the intention of wandering around, and exploring the commuter trains to make maximal use of my waning eurail pass.  Impressions:  Bruxelles is mostly "extract of Paris" with about 10% "extract of amsterdam" (the quaint part, not the seedy part – historically Catholic Belgium seems less interested in seedy parts than historically Protestant Nederland), with the standard overlay of euromodernity.   Perhaps a subset of Paris – altho in geopolitical terms, more like a superset, these days. Uh; right.

I can't remember the eighties group that did the disco-euro-club standard "what is love… baby don't hurt me" – but anyone who watched "Saturday Night Live" during the 90s knows it's Europe's national (err, super-national) anthem:  who can forget those two cherman guys, Dieter and ? (I forgot his name), making banal pseudo-cult-crit comments, saying ja ja ja and tilting their heads robotically in time to that disco rhythm?  Why do I bring this up?  Because that song was playing loudly over the PA systems in two different train stations I was in today – it really must be the EU anthem.

I walked around for a while, admired some of the not-too-bad postwar architecture; then on a whim took the train to luxembourg.  Not terribly intriguing… if nederland is europe's new jersey, and france is europe's texas, then luxembourg is europe's delaware.  Easier to travel thru than to. 

What compelled me to visit luxembourg?  The first research paper I ever wrote, for a 7th grade geography class, was on luxembourg.  I think I picked it off the map thinking such a small country would mean I could write a nice, short paper.  But, so… it's always represented disappointing complexity and geopolitical absurdity.

And the city reminds me of… somewhere in kentucky, maybe.  But linguistically schizoid.  Nice place.  Tomorrow I return to amsterdam, and fly to LA thursday.  What's next in life – any ideas?

Caveat: Edge of the world

Dateline: Lisboa

Lisbon is a beautiful city. 

I arrived "trasnochado" on the bus yesterday morning – I don't think I slept but one or two hours. At one point, about 3 in the morning, the bus stopped at a rest area and the driver made everyone get off and locked the bus for 45 minutes.  I've travelled by bus in 10 or 15 countries, and have never seen something quite like that… seems unusual cruelty.  Ah well…

Yesterday morning, after finding a hotel (no mean feat, given the "semana santa" situation mentioned before), I left my luggage and went exploring, riding the subway, walking around Rossio and Baixa neighborhoods. 

Portuguese is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful languages – despite my struggles to make sense of it.   That's strictly impressionistic, of course – what makes one language seem more beautiful than another to someone?  Certainly, there are no objective criteria.  But I like the rich, almost slavic-sounding phonology, combined with the syntactic "grace" of the romance languages, the way it takes Iberian trends, such as post-fixation of pronouns to verbs, only partially expressed in e.g. Spanish, and generalizes them. 

Um.  I went to the Museu Gulbenkian – modern art.  I love modern art… once again I found myself daydreaming about taking up painting.  Certainly that would give me the creative outlet that I keep craving… and my doubts about my level of talent are ultimately moot – if one wants to pursue art, it should be driven from within, not based on outside reinforcements.  Right?

I was just thinking, in Sevilla, that I had finally thoroughly shaken the flu I acquired in Poland, but this morning I woke up congested and feeling feverish.  Probably the consequence of the lack of sleep night before last, who knows.  But being sick is frustrating.

Caveat: The Other Side

Dateline:  Tanger

So Im in morocco – this wacky french-arabic keyboard is going to mean a short entry, as typing is a bit chellenging. 

Wow – welcome to the 3rd world.  Many delays, people selling who knows what AT you constantly, enigmatic, vaguely polyglot "guides" always present, always on call.  Not just guatemaleque… more than that.  A worthwhile experience, even if only overnite.

I remember maybe 10 words of arabic from my studies but I only really have managed to use 2:  laa = NO & shukran = thanks

I succeeded in NOT buying a carpet… possibly the hardest bit of willpower Ive ever accomplished – up there with army basic training and grad school exams:  you haven't seen a HARD sell until you've seen an arab medina.

It was rainy and foggy and chilly this morning.  Did a little guided tour of Tetouan and into Tanger, after crossing to Ceuta on the ferry.  Cleared, sunny this afternoon… southern californish weather.  The hills are verdant green, dotted with mosques, sheep, old spanish forts. 

Caveat: auxiliares administrativos de la realidad

Dateline:  Barcelona

"reality´s administrative support staff" – nice line from an editorial in El País this morning, regarding the Spanish parliament´s review of the events of March 11, 2004. 

I got into Barcelona night before yesterday – late weds. night I guess that would be.  A large, cosmopolitan city, where one could spend years exploring, I´m sure.  Once again, I must reiterate my own inadequacy as a conventional tourist – so far I´ve spent most of my time just strolling around random neighborhoods, taking the subway to interestingly named but otherwise unremarkable stops, for example I visited an area called "Pep Ventura" yesterday – a delightful name for a rather uninteresting community. 

I did make a visit to the Sagrada Família – Gaudí´s unfinished masterwork and, truly, an inspiring, incredible, unparalleled bit of architecture.  With the sun turning the curves and twists of the stone pink and orange, I made two full orbits of the temple from the outside, but ended up avoiding entering the interior, having been overwhelmed by the vast herds of japanese tourists and catalonian youth groups queued ahead of me. 

Impressionistically, Barcelona, as might be expected, so far makes me think rather often of Buenos Aires or México, DF.    Despite the predominance of the catalán language over the spanish, at least in signage, the city is clearly Iberian to the core, and thus has more in common with those ibero-american metropoli than with, say, the italian cities it shares more with in historical terms.   Being so cosmopolitan, one hears any number of languages on the street, in any neighborhood – but castillian and catalán predominate.  Catalán is a fascinating language, although occasionally I get the unfair feeling that it´s all a sham, something to confuse the castillans with, kind of like a children´s secret language.  Imagine what french would sound like, if spoken by a spaniard who was under the mistaken impression that all those silent letters had to be pronounced. 

That´s catalán for you.  Not to put it down – I love the way that all these romance languages form a continuum, and I confess that in my more philological, tolkienesque moments I have even toyed with "inventing" my own romance language, picking and choosing etymons and phonological patterns from among all the players: castillian, portuguese, gallego, provenzal, french, italian, corsican, sicilian, romanch, rumanian, etc.  Tolkien did something very similar with the celtic languages – that´s what his "elvish" is, after all – just a giant hodgepodge of celtic roots and phonological transformations, drawing from gaelic, welsh, breton, brythionic, cornish, etc. 

Now that´s what you call a reality administrator.   The argentine author, Borges, in his story Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertia, presents the idea of a secret society dedicated to inventing a new, imaginary world, and making it reality.  Sans the secret society part (ahem, as far as we know), both Gene Roddenberry´s Star Trek and Tolkien´s middle earth have come tantalizingly close to making such a plot-line come true.  Witness the story about the supposed offer of Multnomah County, Oregon, to offer translation services to the Klingon-speaking immigrant community (this may be an urban myth, but google "Klingon" if you don´t think the language is real).   OK… whatever – many of you have heard me discurse ad infinitum on this sort of subject before.

I´m somewhat frustrated that I am most definitely running out of time on this little adventure of mine, and feeling that I really haven´t done that much.  Definitely the flu I contracted in Poland made for lost time …. but overall, it´s mostly that I´m travelling in a manner I haven´t, hitherto, had much success at – I´m not so good at the "touring" sort of tourism, and much better at the "pick someplace and stay there a few weeks / months / years" sort of tourism – though I suppose this latter isn´t, in the end, tourism anymore.   But at least I´ll be able to say "I´ve been there" for what that´s worth. 

As I´ve mentioned before, I feel very much at a loss what it is I want to do next with my life.  I talk alot about starting a business, going to business school, whatever, but ultimately, these things still feel like default activities – things I can do to fill time until something cool comes along.   Singlemindedness seems like an enviable asset to me, most of the time – I simply don´t have it, though I´m capable of emulating it for sustained periods, as my recent career experiences have demonstrated.  But even in the depths of the singleminded pursuit of something, I´m never, genuinely, singleminded.  I´m just sort of pretending to be singleminded, in hopes of fooling the world and myself.   The world is often fooled – but myself, never.

Caveat: La Glacerie des Papes

Dateline: Avignon

I couldn't resist spending a day in Avignon – another delay on my way to Spain.  Perhaps I'm trying to emulate Persiles' "dilatada perigrinación"? 

Avignon hosted the papacy of the catholic church for most of the 14th century.  The only place besides rome, historically, to have done so for an extended period.  Hence the great landmark in the center of Avignon is the Palais des Papes.  And thus, an ice cream shop up the street couldn't resist claiming to be "la glacerie des papes." 

At the end of the 14th century, as the black death had swept through europe, there occurred the great schism – when there were popes in both rome and in avignon, competing for the allegiance of bishops throughout catholic europe.  A prefigurement of the reformation?  Perhaps.  A replay of the catharist heresies of the 13th century?  Perhaps that, too, although historians would probably be uncomfortable with that one.  But it can hardly be accidental that the city of Avignon, seat of popes and anti-popes in the 1300's, had been near the center of one of the most widespread popular "heretical" movements in all of medieval europe only a hundred years earlier.  Catharism was a resurgence of arianist (anti-trinitarian) and even gnostic ideas of christianity, that occured throughout languedoc in the 1200's, and has also been linked to such church-sanctioned thinkers such as Master Eckhart, that dominican apogee of medieval mysticism. 

I figured out today why I like visiting french churches.  They're almost always empty!  A polish, an italian, a mexican church, be it spectacular or provincial, is also a working religious instition.  Allegedly, so are the french.  But the French don't seem to make much use of their churches… at least not on week-day mornings.  I vividly remember my visits to Montmartre or even ND de Paris, twenty years ago during my studies there, when I was only one of three or four tourists in the entire church on a cold january morning.  One could sit and contemplate in utter, desolate solitude.  No such solitude to be found in churches in Mexico, DF or Krakow or Firenze.  Does the devotion of others really make me that uncomfortable?  It's definitely easy to feel like an impostor as a tourist in some historic church that people are actually trying to use.  But in France, I guess they're all impostors?  Hmm…

It's nice being able to go into restaurants and order something in the local language successfully.  I haven't had that experience up to this point on this trip.

Somewhat tired of restauranting, however.  So I went into a supermarket (called "shopi" – how cute) and bought some salami, cheese, yoghurt, bread, dried fruit, etc., to have a picnic in my hotel room.  A change of pace, haven't done that since Warszawa.  Watching French reality television is so compelling, after all…

Caveat: Université du Temps Libre

Dateline: Avignon

So much for rushing off to Spain. Italy was difficult to leave. Meaning, I got off at the wrong station in Génova, missed a connection to Nice. Went to Torino, thinking I could make a connection there, but Torino turned out to be one of those more-than-one-train-station towns where one has to walk or bus or taxi between stations… no easy connection there, either. So I stayed another night in Italy, in a nice hotel in Torino called Montevecchio, a block south of Corso Stati Uniti.

Next day (yesterday), I took the train back to Génova, got off at the right train station this time, connected to Ventimiglia (on the border with France), connected again to Nice, and finally connected again to Avignon.  A study in contrasts… the first leg was a standard italian "intercity" (regional).  The next was a commuter train, stopped everywhere, took forever at stations, along the gorgeous Italian riviera (Savona, Sanremo…) but with rare bits of snow on the hilltops overlooking the cold, blue sea of middle earth (think about it:  medi-terranea). 

The French train to from Vintimille to Nice was also a commuter train, but bearing the same relation to the italian commuter train as a New York commuter train resembles a Mexican commuter train.  The French train was clean, fast, subway-like.  The Monaco stop was even underground … the whole stretch from the italian border to Nice was as through a prosperous metropolis. 

The connection in Nice put me on another regional train which in theory would have been a similar experience, but an accident of fate made me a member of the surplus of a very crowded train. 

With no place for all the extra passengers, a conductor opened up a large baggage compartment, and I surveyed the sunset on the Cote d'Azur through the filthy window of a cigarette-smoke-filled baggage car, where I sat on my luggage on the floor.  It reminded me of bus-travel in guatemala.

As the yacht-harbors fled past and disappeared in the mediterranean darkness, the train finally began to empty out and I found a seat in compartment to share with some gregarious, chain-smoking, cell-phone-chatting algerian youths.  By the time we reached Marseilles, I was alone, and I plowed into my steady re-reading of Persiles once again.

Somewhere on this leg of the journey, I finally crossed paths with Persiles and his party of pilgrims.  Which is to say, While I rode from Torino to Génova to Nice to Avignon, Persiles travelled from Barcelona to Montpellier to Aix-en-Provence to Milano.  Persiles, still under the name of Periandro, with his alleged sister Auristela, the bárbaro Antonio (hijo) and his sister Constanza (recién condesa), and various others, are all on their way to Roma, to commit to to la santa fé católica, etc., etc.

We had nearly crossed paths earlier, in Poland, although it's never clear in the novel what part of greater Poland Persiles and company are in, or even if they are, in fact, in Poland or in some other part of "las regiones setentriontales" which Cervantes has in his imagination granted to the king of Poland (recall that in the 16th cent., Poland/Lithuania were a great power in the north, with domains stretching from Sweden to Estonia to Odessa on the black sea, and for many in Spain and the Mediterranean world of the epoch, "polonia" was synonymous with all of the far north of europe).

The first two books of the novel Persiles…, set in the far north of Europe, are much vaguer on geography and more detached from the social realities of the period, and, since Cervantes was working from his imagination and not actual experience, lack verisimilitude.  Indeed, I, for one, suspect that the "northern" seas and islands in the novel are standing in for the "other" that – in Cervantes' golden age spain – was in fact the new world of the Americas.  This is a sort of displacement that allows the author some space for invention on the one hand, but allows him to address the theme of "otherness" (a very voguish term, lit-crit-wise, I realize) with some degree of plausibility.

The fact that the pilgrims land at Lisbon, of all places, at the beginning of book three, could be used to support further the fact that although they're coming from the north per the terms of the narrative, in cultural terms they are arriving from the new world.  And once on terra firma, Periandro et al., are in a world Cervantes is much more competent to describe and critique, on the one hand, and where the author knew he'd be held to a much higher standard of verisimilitude, on the other.  Hence the radical change in tone of the third and fourth books.  Critiques like to point out that the first two books were written years before the last two, but there are logical reasons within the text itself, if contextualized to its audience and cultural setting, to justify these changes in tone.

Ok… enough of that.  My train got into Avignon two hours late – almost midnight.  So I walked down the block to the Hotel Ibis (a french anologue for Motel 6 … hmm, actually, the same corporation – thus the logic of global capitalism, e?).  Not exactly picturesque, but… hey, check it out, they've got a WiFi connection.

France is the country in europe that most resembles the united states.  I feel more comfortable making that statement now, though I'd confidently have made this categorical statement even before this visit, too.  Current trans-atlantic sqabbles aside, France and the US are fundamentally the same sort of civilization… more so than, say, Britain and the US, in my opinion. I think the british fail the "cultural naivete" test, that weird combination of idealism and arrogance that define both american and french societies.  Perhaps under Victoria, at the height of empire, things were different for britain… but the british seem to accept, now, at an almost visceral level, that they've been "surpassed" by their offspring, i.e. the US. The fact that it's their offspring allows them to retain a sense of place and pride despite the eclipse of their empire.  The french, however, refuse to accept any such "end of empire" – they've merely transmogrified themselves into a post-modern, neo-colonial power, a la USA:  voici la francophonie.   

Interesting to note, for example, that France is the first country in the EU that I've visited that doesn't consistently fly the EU flag, alongside their own, on public buildings.  This despite the fact that they are enthusiastic and founding members of the union.  A bit like texas, then – parellelly, texas is the only place I've been in the US where you will frequently see state flags unaccompanied by the US flag.  Yet texans are those most american of americans – voici GW Bush qua texan. 

In Avignon this morning, I walked past a bar with the name "Université du Temps Libre" – what a perfect name for a bar, e?  Or for an entry in this journal d'ambivalence?

Caveat: I walked down along the river Arno…

I walked down along the river Arno, the sun was shining.  The water was the color of desert fatigues, opaque like a green olive.  There were some ducks swimming, and there was no wind, for a change.  I saw what appeared to be two otters swimming in the current.  One headed toward the near shore, where someone had thrown some bread for the ducks.  Three meters straight down in the water, an otter sat up in the bright morning light and held in its paws a piece of bread and ate.  Somehow this is more inspiring than the museums and the tourist-clogged streets to me, at the moment.  I'm going to move on to spain, leaving tomorrow for, probably, somewhere in southern france for overnight, and thence to barcelona or somewhere like that. 

After the river, I walked up the hill on the south side, hoping for view, but the sky got cloudy and beautiful, but chilly.  I climbed a hill on a street called san giorgio, I think, and ended up on a back road along what appears to be a remnant of the city wall, with olive trees behind another, shorter wall on the south side.  Very painterly and tuscan, I thought.  After recrossing the river I bought my weekly dose of world news, the economist, at a news stand, and stopped for capuccino and a schiacciate (toasted sandwichy thing, probably spelled wrong there) and read in the coming-and-going sunshine.

Everytime I go into a museum, I grow bored.  Something different from what I expected….  Not bored exactly… just restless.  Not wanting to just look, wanting to create, maybe.  But create what?  My writing (aside from these entries) isn't going well, although I've made some decent progress with Persiles, of late, it's just notes – nothing monumental.  I'm carrying around another book, an anthology of poetry by Vicente Aleixandre, in hopes of drawing some inspiration.  But mostly I find myself disappointed at my jottings.  I throw them away.

Caveat: colloquio interiore

Dateline: Trieste

"Il tempo del viaggio e della vacanza è tempo opportuno per coltivare lo spirito, per soddisfare il desiderio di colloquio interiore e di ritrovamento di sé." Thus tells me the cover page of the bible I found in my hotel room, and for some reason, the idea has resonance with me despite my disinclination to pursue the remainder of the text. I'll pursue my own "interior colloquy" and cultivate my spirit in my own way, I guess.

I walked, and walked, and walked today, but remain uninterested in seeking out the more conventional touristic experiences Trieste offers, although I did bump into James on the bridge over the grand canal (don't imagine something Venetian – Trieste's Grand Canal is just a wet spot in a square off the old harbor, nothing more). Actually, it was a bronze of Mr. Joyce, perambulating the city where he left his soul, by his own report. Trieste's most famous modern son was an adoptee, but no less a son for that.

The Adriatic was no longer grey but a cobalty-bluish-green, sparkling under the sun. It wasn't warm – I stepped in more than one puddle crusted with ice, despite the clear skies and it being already early afternoon. The digital display on a bank told me it was 1 degree celsius. I stopped to watch the great ships as they pushed through the water in the distance, and noticed that the bluffs and mountain peaks lurking on edge of the sea to the north (toward Udine and, ultimately, Austria) were draped in snow all the way down to curving horizon. About half a dozen seagulls swooped around a landward-facing statue, a dull corroded green-looking sailor.

Walking a little further, I found the boat marina, and admired some of the sailboats parked there. Perhaps someday…. I found myself reflecting on another long trip, when I was in Valdivia, in Chile, admiring the sailboats parked there in the Rio Calle-Calle. It wasn't as cold there, but it was damp and had been raining. I have these Schopenhauerian moments – pessimism about the human condition, but not defeatism, per se. More like a romanticist's apotheosis through suffering, tied to the eventual abolition of personal will. Abolition of will? Or is it triumph? "Por Schopenhauer, que acaso descifró el universo." – Thus Borges

Unlike my Chilean friend of those many years ago – Kamel was a meditative human-rights lawyer in what was then an only recently post-pinochetized country – I'm not a convinced schopenhauerian, however. Perhaps I should be, but… something is missing… something. I wish I were better at staying in touch with people.

Caveat: Coughcough-krakough

Dateline:  Krakow

Being sick is depressing even at home.   But while travelling, it can be more so – the combination of feeling out of control physically with the demands of alien culture, language, etc., become overwhelming.  I'm pretty certain I've managed to acquire a flu virus.  Yesterday I wasn't feeling well, but I ambitiously set out for Wawel (castle+cathedral that constitutes Poland's historical home of kings and cardinals, including Karol Wojtyla before his promotion in 1978).  I made it to the hill (about 2km from my hotel), but felt feverish and was coughing, and suddenly just gave up and walked back to my hotel, where I spent the day drinking fluids, eating vitamin C pills, and watching some lousy French news channel and napping intermittently.  I was clearly feverish last night, but I resisted the urge to open the window of my hotelroom – I think you have to let the fever do its work.

During my long walk, I began thinking about an odd idea:  what if the success of global market capitalism is rooted in something neurological?  Obviously different economic systems play to different strengths and weaknesses of human cognition, but my recent reading on the nature of thought has brought to the fore the apparently "competitive" or even "darwinian" (not quite appropriate) nature of consciousness:  various "ideas" (or memes, as Dawkins might have it) compete in the space of the mind for ascendancy, and the most dominant currents are what get pushed to consciousness at any given moment.   Could the darwinian nature of markets, along with the primary role accorded to "memes" (e.g. branding in the marketing) within Euro-American capitalism actually have some kind of natural resonance in the human mind?

That's not to discount Marx's progression of modes of production, which I think I still believe in.  But perhaps, viewing each mode of production as a more-or-less successful meme (or rather, "meta-meme"?), could it be that the evolution of cultural-economic structures is inevitably "pushed" by its cognitive environment (memes, after all, have the human mind as their formative habitat) toward the market model?  Or, turning to the dialectic, is it simply that our current models of human cognition are being unexpectedly influenced by the ascendancy of post-industrial capitalism?  Certainly, one could do a productive study of the correlation between historical models of mind (from Plato thru Descartes etc.) and the contemporarily dominant economic mode of production. 

I don't know that the idea has any legs, but it does tie in, at least indirectly, with my understanding of both Quijote and Persiles as "maps" of the socio-economic space of Cervantes' time.   Zizek (sp?) has an interesting study on Deleuze that I was reading before departing on this trip, that posits Deleuze as the theorist of post-industrial capitalism.  And obviously my efforts to tie cognitive models to socio-economic modes of production come straight from Deleuze's "rhizomatics." 

Mostly I'm talking out of my ass – lacking texts or quotes to substantiate my ideas and observations.  But one thing travel has always done for me, and which I was hoping this long trip would do again, is that it gets me out of cognitive "ruts" and helps open me to new ideas.

Caveat: Nie mowie po polsku

Dateline:  Krakow

My train into Warszawa was somewhat delayed.

I remember one moment, the train was stopped, it was dusk, the mostly-cloudy sky was pink and purple and the snow-covered fields reflected this.  A row of trees along one side of the train, an unplowed road and a house painted aquamarine in the distance on the other.  As we sat, a woman pulling a child on a sled came down the road.  The child was about 3 or 4, wearing a pink bonnet.  Running alongside, then in front, then behind, was a smallish dog with a tautly curled tail.  The woman with the sled stopped, and the child dismounted the sled alongside our rail car, almost ceremoniously.  She raised her hand timidly and began to wave.

Because of my latish arrival in Warsaw, and not in the mood to confront another strange city in the late evening hours, I splurged somewhat, taking a hotel just a block from the railway station that was rather pricey – a little more than what I'd paid in Amsterdam, per night.  But, since this is poland, for that amount I was basically in a 4 or 5 star hotel.  Not bad, though I felt terribly decadent.

Yesterday I walked around Warsaw, and felt challenged by the language.  On the one hand, because of my Russian studies it seems like it should be easier than German – and I often feel on the edge of understanding something.  But I can't yet seem to wrap my mind around the Polish orthography, and whenever I open my mouth, mostly lousy Russian comes out, which I'm sure the Poles find vaguely offensive.   So many close cognates:  pl dzien dobry vs ru dobry den.   So I protest "nie mowie po polsku" (I don't speak polish) and lapse into English – which people are much less likely to understand here than in Western Europe, admittedly.

I went to a large art museum for many hours.   More on this later, as, now in Krakow, I hope to visit some more.  This morning I took the three hour train here from warsaw, getting in around noon.  I walked around quite a bit before settling on a nice hotel basically overlooking the trainstation.   A lovely old building, perhaps 1900, with a fairly nice renovation.  Much cheaper than what I paid in warsaw, but hardly cheap in absolute terms.  Let's say:  more than the motel 6 in Duluth.  Hostels are apparently generally out in the suburbs in Poland – possibly a relic of the communist era. 

I'm in an internet cafe (mostly internet – not much cafe), as hotspots don't seem to have yet arrived this far east.   Second floor of a building on the south side of Rynek Glowny (central square).  It's wild to think that the cafe across the way is where Lenin hung out for years, before WWI.  Krakow was unscathed by the Nazis and the Red Army, and therefore has beautiful old buildings and narrow medieval streets and squares.  Well, I should say, unscathed architecturally – it's people were brutalized in large numbers, with Auschwitz just down the road.  The city's huge Jewish population was completely removed.  I didn't realize until coming here that this was the setting for Spielberg's "Schindler's List," which was largely filmed locally.  So now the Poles struggle with the ethics of holocaust-tourism. 

Caveat: Beursplein

Dateline:  Amsterdam

I'm sitting in a cafe on Beursplein, in the Beurs van Berlage (whatever that is) in downtown Amsterdam.  I just had a very tasty soup.  I came here looking for WiFi, didn't find t-mobile but figured out KPN (dutch phone company) and for a coupla euros, I'm hooked up once again.   This is nicer than the lobby of the Ramada, where I went yesterday.

I set out this morning to go to the Rijksmuseum, but it was raining hard, and so I bought a transport pass and took a trolley (sort of indirectly).  I got to the museum and decided I wasn't in the mood (plus there was a sign announcing that a portion of it was closed), so I got back on a trolley at random and visited some grim Dutch suburb (something southwest of here, I think). 

I don't make a very good tourist, I guess – I'm just as happy riding public transport at random as I am visiting museums or landmarks.

I meet with Eurobob tomorrow in Utrecht.  Meanwhile, mostly I'm killing time.  I wrote up a a rather pessimistic review of reporting capabilities at Paradise Corp for Ravi and Tom, RE the bid for business from that large retail chain.   In retrospect, I'm wondering if it's what they wanted… but if they want me to write up the solution (as opposed to a condemnation of current abilities) that's much more in depth, isn't it? 

As in, you'll have to build such and such aggregate, using such and such process, and tie in data from here, there, and everywhere.  Seems like a request to design reportomatic 2.0.  I'm all for that, but it ain't gonna be cheap, is it?

Meanwhile, I'm reading Persiles.  So you've got this guy, Periandro (later revealed to be Persiles), dressed in drag (and looking very gorgeous, apparently), looking for his sister, Auristella (i.e. Sigismunda – and one is inclined to impute something incestuous, there).  But she is dressed as a man, and is about to be sacrificed because the barbarians want the blood from his (her) heart to test a prophecy of a future king.  But one of the barbarians gets the hots for Periandro (who he thinks is a woman) while Auristella reveals she is a woman (to avoid being murdered) and the barbarians break out into an orgy of violence and soon the whole island is in flames.  Really.

And that's just the first few chapters.

So far, Nederland reminds me of a kind of old-world New Jersey, but they talk funnier.  I don't mean that as an insult, either.  I think Dutch is a very cool language…  kind of what I expect English would sound like if I didn't understand it.  It's got similar phonetic inventory, and very similar cadences to English.  Kind of like how they talk in Jersey, right?

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