Caetano Veloso, “Meditação,” canção por Jobim. Letra:
Quem acreditou
No amor, no sorriso, na flor
Entao sonhou, sonhou…
E perdeu a paz
O amor, o sorriso e a flor
Se transformam depressa demais
Quem, no coraçao
Abrigou a tristeza de ver tudo isto se perder
E, na solidao
Procurou um caminho e seguiu,
Já descrente de um dia feliz
Quem chorou, chorou
E tanto que seu pranto já secou
Quem depois voltou
Ao amor, ao sorriso e à flor
Então tudo encontrou
E a própria dor
Revelou o caminho do amor
E a tristeza acabou
I love those gray, overcast, almost-gonna-rain mornings. I’m weird, I know. Perhaps it was because of those formative years in Humboldt? Certainly, those types of mornings were common enough. But here in suburban Seoul, they tend to be about 20 degrees F warmer than Humboldt mornings of similar feel. So actually they remind me more of Minneapolis summer weather than Humboldt weather.
I enjoy the weather. I fling my windows wide and let the gray in.
Meanwhile… a completely random picture from the archive: Santa Monica, 1994. Jeffrey (my stepson), Andrew (my younger brother) and I built this very immense sand castle. Here is a picture of that castle. Not-so-gray weather, but the beach wasn’t hot that day, as I recall.
What I’m listening to right now.
Olivia Newton-John with ELO, “Magic.” From the soundtrack for the movie Xanadu. Who ever actually saw that movie? I don’t think I did.
Lyrics.
Come take my hand
You should know me
I’ve always been in your mind
You know I will be kind
I’ll be guiding you
Building your dream has to start now
There’s no other road to take
You won’t make a mistake
I’ll be guiding you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive, destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive for you
I’ll bring all your dreams alive for you
From where I stand, you are home free
The planets align, so rare
There’s promise in the air
And I’m guiding you
Through every turn, I’ll be near you
I’ll come anytime you call
I’ll catch you when you fall
I’ll be guiding you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive, destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive for you
I’ll bring all your dreams alive for you
You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive, destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive for you
I’ll bring all your dreams alive for you
I keep track of points for students with hatchmarks on the whiteboard by students’ names. When they misbehave in some disruptive fashion, I’ll delete points, too, by quickly erasing a point from beside a student’s name without further comment.
Today, a student did a surprising thing: he jumped up, did a little dance, then immediately moved to the whiteboard and deducted his own misbehavior point. I stared at him, dumbfounded for a moment. “Why did you do that?” I asked.
He just grinned. “Welll.. that was pointless,” I muttered under my breath.
Oh well. Kids are interesting.
What I’m listening to right now.
Psychedelic Furs, “Heaven.” Yes, I came of age in the 80s. How’d you guess?
Lyrics.
heaven
is the whole of the heart
and heaven don’t tear you apart
yeah heaven
is the whole of the heart
and heaven don’t tear you apart
there’s too many kings
wanna hold you down
and a world at the window
gone underground
there’s a hole in the sky
where the sun don’t shine
and a clock on the wall
and it counts my time
and heaven
is the whole of the heart
and heaven don’t tear you apart
yeah heaven is the whole of the heart
and heaven don’t tear you apart
there’s a song on the air
with a love-you line
and a face in a glass
and it looks like mine
and i’m standing on ice when i say
that i don’t hear planes
and i scream at the fools
wanna jump my train
and heaven is the whole of the heart
and heaven don’t tear you apart
yeah heaven is the whole of the heart
and heaven don’t tear you apart
yeah heaven
ah heaven
yeah heaven
A fascinating video from Japan named “都市計画/city planning.” It’s like watching a slightly psychadelic version of SimCity.
Doit Science – 都市計画 from ONIONSKIN on Vimeo.
The music is a little bit strange but I like how the things “happen” in the video somewhat in time to the music. They work together.
Well, everything in wikipedia that has an “influenced by” section. It’s really cool, though. Go look at it.
Guess which wikipedia thing has the most “influenced by” connections to everything else? The giant red globe in the center-right of the close-up I’ve screenshotted, below.
I was listening to my MP3 files on shuffle yesterday to this song, and I had the most vivid flashbacks of my first visit to New York City, in 1983. I was with some friends from college – we’d somehow convinced ourselves that driving from Minnesota to NYC for a 4 day weekend was a good idea. So after 24 hours of driving straight through, we crossed the George Washington Bridge into Manhattan. I didn’t take any pictures on that trip, but here’s some random internet-found photos that capture the feeling of seeing NYC for the first time from that perspective.
The song’s theme (Irish politics) doesn’t match my vivid mental images at all, but they’re indelibly linked in my brain.
Feeling tired and burnt out at the moment. Not much to say.
I saw a description of some tornados in Oklahoma that said: "pants-dampening tornados." This was funny.
What I'm listening to right now.
Depeche Mode, "Walking in My Shoes." It was the continuous soundtrack of much darker times – still near the top of my complicated list of loved music.
Lyrics:
I would tell you about the things They put me through The pain I've been subjected to But the Lord himself would blush The countless feasts laid at my feet Forbidden fruits for me to eat But I think your pulse would start to rush
Now I'm not looking for absolution Forgiveness for the things I do But before you come to any conclusions Try walking in my shoes Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps Keep the same appointments I kept If you try walking in my shoes If you try walking in my shoes
Morality would frown upon Decency look down upon The scapegoat fate's made of me But I promise now, my judge and jurors My intentions couldn't have been purer My case is easy to see
I'm not looking for a clearer conscience Peace of mind after what I've been through And before we talk of any repentance Try walking in my shoes Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps Keep the same appointments I kept If you try walking in my shoes If you try walking in my shoes Try walking in my shoes
Now I'm not looking for absolution Forgiveness for the things I do But before you come to any conclusions Try walking in my shoes Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps Keep the same appointments I kept If you try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps Keep the same appointments I kept If you try walking in my shoes Try walking in my shoes If you try walking in my shoes Try walking in my shoes
We had 회식 after work this evening, then I walked home in the damp, humid night.
There is a lot of tension between the Woongjin staff and Karma staff. It wasn’t terrible – I managed to avoid alcohol which always makes these experiences more positive, although resisting alcohol always makes me an incomprehensible alien among the Koreans. But I’m one those, regardless.
What I’m listening to right now.
노브레인 [no-beu-re-in = NO BRAIN], “그것이 젊음” [geu-geos-i jeolm-eum = that’s youth (?)].
[UPDATE 2020-03-22: link rot repair]
가사.
산다는~게 뭔지
고민만이 가득찬 그대
좌절은 변기에 버려
텅텅 빈~ 지갑에
절망감은 두둑한 그대
나도 그 마음 알아
하지만 너의
가슴은 타오르고 있잖아
때론 부딪쳐봐
때론 울어도봐
그것이 젊음
거침없이 재껴봐
때론 부딪쳐봐
때론 울어도봐
그것이 젊음이~기에
이별의~ 아픔에
슬픔에 둘러싸인 그대
휴지에 코풀면 나아져
낮은 성~적표에
압박을 받고있는 그대
나도 그땐 그랬어
하지만 너의
가슴은 타오르고 있잖아
때론 부딪쳐봐
때론 울어도봐
그것이 젊음
거침없이 재껴봐
때론 부딪쳐봐
때론 울어도봐
그것이 젊음이~기에@
흐린날이 있다면
맑은날도 있겠지~
yeah 워우워~
때론 부딪쳐봐
때론 울어도봐
그것이 젊음
거침없이 재껴봐
때론 부딪쳐봐
때론 울어도봐
그것이 젊음이~기에
(때론 부딪쳐봐)
(때론 울어도봐)
(때론 부딪쳐봐)
(때론 울어도봐)
(때론 부딪쳐봐)
(때론 울어도봐)
(때론 부딪쳐봐)
(때론 울어도봐)
그것이 젊음이~기에
그것이 젊음이~기에
그것이 젊음이~기에
걸스데이 [geol-seu-de-i = Girl's Day], "Oh! My God." It's a dumb song. And a dumb video. But I live in Korea. I work with teenagers. So… I hear things like this.
가사:
작사 작곡 강지원 김기범 편곡 강지원
OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우 OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우
여자 맘을 몰라 넌 몰라 꼭 말해줘야 너는 아니 아니 오빤 정말 이래서 안돼 뭘 잘못했는지도 몰라 몰라
맨날 미안하단말 맨날 사랑한단말 이제 더는 못믿겠어 NO NO 맨날 노력한다고 맨날 잘하겠다고 내맘하나 몰라주니
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GOD 정말 눈치코치 하나없어 없어 아 정말 아 정말 정말 정말 너무 답답해서 미치겠어 겠어
OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우 OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우
남잔 하나같이 똑같애 하난 알고 둘은 몰라 몰라 화장하고 머릴 바꿔도 그것조차 너는 몰라 몰라
맨날 미안하단말 맨날 사랑한단말 이제 더는 못믿겠어 NO NO 맨날 노력한다고 맨날 잘하겠다고 내맘하나 몰라주니
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GOD 정말 눈치코치 하나없어 없어 아 정말 아 정말 정말 정말 너무 답답해서 미치겠어 겠어
OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우 OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GOD 정말 눈치코치 하나없어 없어 아 정말 아 정말 정말 정말 너무 답답해서 미치겠어 겠어
OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우 OH OH OH MA MA MA 어우워우 어 어 우워우 OH MY GOD
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.” – Thich Naht Hanh.
What I’m listening to right now.
윤하 [Younha] (With John Park), “우린 달라졌을까” [We’re different]. [UPDATE 2020-03-21: Link rot repair]
가사.
다 잊었다고 난 생각 했나봐
내 마음조차 날 속였었나봐
마주보던 날들 함께 웃었던 얘기
따뜻했던 그 공기까지도
참 선명하게 다 남아있나봐
단 하나도 잊을 수가 없나봐
그만하면 됐다고 이미 바보 같다고
날 다그치며 미워하지만
내 가슴속을 낫게 하는 건
내 머릿속을 쉬게 해주는 건
너의 사랑밖엔 없어 덜어내려 해도
내 마음은 또 너에게로 가
널 보고 싶단 생각뿐이야
널 잡고 싶은 마음뿐이야
아주 멀리 돌아와도
마지막은 니가 있던 나의 곁이길
참 좋았던 니 향기가 생각나
너무 어울렸던 그 이름 불러봐
마지막에 너를 한번 더 잡았다면
지금 우리는 달라졌을까
참 쓸데없는 생각을 하는 나
또 기대하고 또 무너지는 나
미련두지 말자고 이제 그만 하자고
날 다그치며 미워하지만
나 없이 잘 지내지 말아줘
내가 없이도 행복하지는 마
나처럼 그리워 울고 잠 못 드는 밤에
나를 찾아 올 수 있도록
이렇게라도 널 찾고 싶어
이렇게라도 널 볼 수 있다면
나는 어떤 기도라도 할 수 있어
행복이 반으로 줄어도 괜찮아
나에게 올 거야 넌 내게 돌아 올 거야
니가 있던 그 자리 나의 가슴 속으로
다른 사랑할 수 없는 나인가 봐
니가 전부인 나에게 다시 돌아와
내 가슴속을 낫게 하는 건
내 머릿속을 쉬게 해주는 건
너의 사랑밖엔 없어 덜어내려 해도
내 마음은 또 너에게로 가
널 보고 싶단 생각뿐이야
널 잡고 싶은 마음뿐야
아주 멀리 돌아와도 마지막은
니가 있던 나의 곁이길
참 좋았던 니 향기가 생각나
너무 어울렸던 그 이름 불러봐
마지막에 너를 한 번 더 잡았다면
지금 우리는 달라졌을까
I ran across a quote from Dave Packard, one of the co-founders of Hewlitt-Packard fame, and thus one of the original “creators” of Silicon Valley. It seemed very relevant to the Karma-devouring-ex-LBridge scenario currently playing out at my place of work.
Here’s the quote:
“More companies die of indigestion than starvation.”
Karma hagwon is definitely up against a major digestive challenge, in trying to absorb a bigger prey and maintain its identity. But in the current hagwon market, organic growth is almost impossible – so I understand the thinking: it’s growth-through-acquistion.
Well, anyway. I passed the quote on to my boss in a good-natured way. He could have taken it badly, but he didn’t. We had a good conversation about it. That’s why he’s the best boss I’ve had since coming to Korea.
What I’m listening to right now.
Molotov, “Hit Me.” The Mexican sexenio election is approaching. I predict the PRI candidate, Peña Nieto, will win.
La letra:
Molotov – Hit me
Cuando era chico quería ser como superman pero ahora ya quiero ser un diputado del PAN o del PRI o del PRD o cualquier cosa que tenga un poco de poder quiero convertirme en músico político y construirle un piso al periferico quiero acabar con el tráfico tengo que entrar en la historia de México y luego miro al pecero que va medio pedo jugando carreras con los pasajeros pero el tiene que pasar primero sin luces sin frenos junto al patrullero aunque no sepa leer no sepa hablar el es el que te brinda la seguridad asi lo tienes que respetar porque el representa nuestra autoridad
(Coro) So you think you gonna hit me but now We gonna hit you back
Te metera en el bolsillo una sustancia ilegal y te va a consignar al poder judicial y ahí seguro que te ira muy mal porque te haran cocowash con agua mineral porque en ti creiamos todos los mexicanos te dimos trabajo pagado y honrado te dimos un arma para cuidarnos y el arma que usas la usas para robarnos y aunque quieras quejarte con papa gobierno les pides ayuda y te mandan al infierno porque tendremos que tirar buen pedo solo te van a dar atole con el dedo y en la fila del departamento de quejas toparas con un mar de secretarias pendejas el siguiente en la fila y asi te la pelas pero algunos al final nunca se traspapela
(Coro)
México solidario acabo alos tiranos sin la necesidad de ensuciarnos las manos no podemos pedir resultado inmediato de un legado de 75 años todos unidos pedimos un cambio piedra sobre piedra y peldaño a peldaño solo poder expresarnos es palaba de honor de nuestro jefe de estado te arrepentiras de todo lo que trabajas se te ira la mitad de todo lo que tu ganas manteniendo los puestos de copias piratas que no pagan impuestos pero son más baratas veo una fuerte campaña de tele y de radio promoviendo la union entre los ciudadanos mensaje de un pueblo libre y soberano IGUAL QUE TU MOLOTOV TAMBIEN ES MEXICANO!!!!!
(Nos quieren pegar pegar) So you think you gonna hit me (y nos la van a pagar) but now we gonna hit you back
모든 것이 멈춘 채 시간은 또 조용히 흐르네
가라앉던 가슴이 또다시 숨이 꽉 막히네 나 홀로 버려진 채
사라지는 아픔마저도 미치도록 아쉬운데
너 없이 견디는 이 시간도 끝나겠지 언젠가는
someday 다 잊혀져갈 사랑 그리운 내 사랑
언제나 힘들게만 한 그대여
someday 내 가엾은 내 사랑 그리운 내 사랑
언제나 행복해야 해 날 떠나서
언제나 불안했던 사랑의 계단
그 어떤 순간에도 내 손을 놓지 않았던
네가 항상 너무 고맙다
이젠 날 떠나서 행복해라
제발 나와 찍은 사진처럼 웃어라 맨날
슬프고 힘든 시간의 연속 타들어가는 맘속
불안한 두 손 혹독한 이별의 구속
아프고 아물고 또다시 아파오는 고통의 반복
힘들다 정말 미치도록
사라지는 아픔마저도 미치도록 아쉬운데
너 없이 견디는 이 시간도 끝나겠지 언젠가는
someday 다 잊혀져갈 사랑 그리운 내 사랑
언제나 힘들게만 한 그대
someday 내 가엾은 내 사랑 그리운 내 사랑
언제나 행복해야 해 날 떠나서
날 떠나서 날 떠나서 날 떠나서
someday 다 잊혀져갈 사랑 그리운 내 사랑
언제나 힘들게만 한 그대
someday 내 가엾은 내 사랑 그리운 내 사랑
언제나 행복해야 해 날 떠나서
날 떠나서 날 떠나서 날 떠나서 날 떠나서
지금 내가 할 수 있는건 니가 행복하길 바라는것
이대로 시간이 흘러 상처들이 아무는 것
날 부르고 싶어도 그저 입을 다무는 것
끝없는 후회들과 계속 싸우는 것
억지로 써내려가는 이별의 말들
하나씩 지워가는 내 지난 날 들
이렇게 멍하니 이겨내 보는 하루하루
내 전부 내 희망 내 사랑 너 너 너
날 떠나서
I had a strange dream last night where I was walking around Ilsan and ended up in Minneapolis. But the signs were still in Korean. I felt lost. What I’m listening to right now.
인피니트 (Infinite), “추격자” (The Chaser).
[UPDATE 2020-03-21: link rot repair] 가사.
★인피니트-추격자★
미안해 마 독하게 날 버리고 떠나도 돼 니가 원한다면 그래 good bye
허나 내 맘까지 접은건 아냐 내 사랑이 이겨
아이야 먼저 가 어기야 디여라차 어기야디야 되찾을꺼야 잠시야 앞서도 널 따라 잡으리 난~
그녀를 지켜라 날 잊지 못하게 내 님이 계신 곳 끝까지 가련다
rap)잊어버려 이별의 말 앞에 멈춰가는 가슴 치고 무릎 꿇어본 나 꺼져버려 썪은 장작 같은 슬픔에 타버린 날 끌어본다 식은 네 맘이 왜 아직 내 마음을 매일 설레이고 헤매게 하는지 걸어본다 사랑에 날 굳게 만들지 또
아이야 먼저 가 어기야 디여라차 어기야디야 되찾을꺼야 잠시야 아파도 결국엔 웃으리 난~
그녀를 지켜라 날 잊지 못하게 내 님이 계신 곳 끝까지 가련다 거리를 좁혀라 내 손에 잡히게 내 님을 찾아서 내 전불 걸련다
rap)그래 나 독한 맘으로 널 버리려 했어 애써 본능을 짓밟아 버리며 흐려진 너에 대한 집착 또한 다~ 사랑이라~ 내뱉는 난~ 또 도저히 널 놓지도 끊지도 못해 오늘도 뭔가에 홀린 듯 눈가에 맺힌 너를 쫓아
미안해 girl 절대 너란 끈을 놓진 않을래 내가 니 맘 돌릴꺼니 괜찮아 가슴 쥐 뜯겨도 별거 아니야
그녀를 지켜라 날 잊지 못하게 내 님이 계신 곳 끝까지 가련다
내 맘이 그렇지 하나만 알아서 꺾기고 아파도 널 사랑 하련다
미안해 마 독하게 날 버리고 떠나도 돼 니가 원한다면 그래 good bye 허나 내 맘까지 접은건 아냐
I was sharing with my boss an opinion: given that a lot of parents are expressing distrust of the merger between Karma and Woongjin, he should call them all, personally. That’s always been one my “if I ran the hagwon” ideas, anyway – the owner or on-site manage should be intimately involved in building and maintaining relationships with ALL the parents, since they are, after all, the paying customers. The students, for better or worse, are essentially product. This is not to depreciate them in any way – they are the thing I like about my job, and they’re why I do it. But applying the lessons I learned from a decade of working in real-world business settings, you can’t ever forget your customers.
Curt has been stressed, lately, though. In response to my suggestion, he just said in a kind of a lighthearted way, “개소리” [gae-so-ri = “bullshit” (literally, it means “dog-noise”)]. It was kind meant as, “yeah, right, like I’m going to find time to do that.” I laughed it off. And my feelings were in no way hurt. But I nevertheless felt (and feel) that he’s making a mistake in this matter, maybe.
During the CC class (karaoke) I taught today, the boys insisted in hearing / seeing the video for a song called “Party Rock.” It has a zombie-themed shuffle-dance-craze-including video. Those fifth-grade boys are utterly enraptured by this video and song. I can’t figure it out.
What I’m listening to right now.
Madness, “Our House.” 29 years ago I graduated high school. At that time, this was my favorite song. I remember driving down to Santa Barbara that summer, and hearing it getting frequent radio-play.
I took this photo in 1983. I’m just randomly placing it here. It’s of some seagulls at Mad River Beach in Arcata (the town of my birth).
At work yesterday, the front-desk person was handing out some student-placement spreadsheet printouts and she skipped me. This always annoys me, because I have a genuine interest in what’s happening to the students.
I think they leave me out because they assume I’m not interested, since I don’t often don’t join in the discussions they have over these printouts (given that they are in Korean and/or they often seem to take place at times when I’m off teaching a class – my schedule is thicker in the afternoons whereas many of the teachers have a thin afternoon schedule and a thicker evening schedule, and so meetings are often in the afternoons).
So this time, I said something like, “why are you forgetting me, can I have one too?” and she happily complied.
But then Curt remarked, muttering, “빈정상했어” [bin-jeong-sang-haess-eo]. And of course I had no idea what this meant. And I wanted to know.
It therefore became a long, drawn-out discussion over what, exactly, this phrase means. The verb (빈정상하다 [binjeongsanghada] / alternate form 빈정사다 [binjeongsada]) doesn’t appear any online Korean-English dictionaries we consulted. Google translate doesn’t even try.
After some back-and-forth, we decided it meant something roughly like “peeve” as in, “he’s/you’re peeved” (the subject is left out in Korean and so you can fill in whatever verb subject fits the situation). But I wasn’t really satisfied with this.
The Korean-Korean dictionaries online don’t have the verb (or the pre-derived verb-noun 빈정상) either. For the near-match 비정상, they offer definitions as follows. The definitions are hard enough to understand – my “translations” of the definitions are tentative at best.
1.) 어떤 것이 바뀌어 달라지거나 탈이 생겨 나타나는 제대로가 아닌 상태. “The condition of [something] not being as one desires [such] that some kind of trouble or revised change appears.” 2.) 바르거나 떳떳하지 못한 상태. “The condition of being unable to be honorable or upright.”
These definitions utterly fail to match Curt’s off-the-cuff definition and don’t match my intuition of verb’s actual meaning. They don’t make any sense at all, in my opinion. So that’s not it. Just a lexical wild-goose-chase.
Looking at the verb in parts (which isn’t always a smart or correct thing to do with Korean verbs, as my Korean tutor is constantly insisting), I see the first part is 빈정, which appears bound in other verbs like 빈정거리다, which means “to make a sarcastic remark.” And the second part is 상하다, which includes a definition “to be hurt, to be offended, to be troubled with.” This latter is promising – it seems to match Curt’s definition much better. If you add in a shading of sarcasm, it actually seems to capture my actual expression and manner pretty well.
So I’m going to offer a tentative English definition of the phrase “빈정상했어” as “he’s/you’re sarcastically peeved” … but in slangy pragmatics (and dating myself to the 1980s) as “don’t have a cow, man.”
What I’m listening to right now. Linkin Park, “Pushing Me Away.”
How could I have gone so far in life without knowing about this?
What I’m listening to right now.
William Shatner, “Rocket Man.” A “sci-fi,” sardonic interpretation of Bernie Taupin and Elton John’s classic. I almost like it better. The lyrics:
She packed my bags last night pre-flight Zero hour nine a.m. And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then I miss the earth so much I miss my wife It’s lonely out in space On such a timeless flight
And I think it’s gonna be a long long time Till touch down brings me round again to find I’m not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I’m a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it’s cold as hell And there’s no one there to raise them if you did And all this science I don’t understand It’s just my job five days a week A rocket man, a rocket man
According to this article on the AP, suicides have exceeded war casualties among troops in Afghanistan this year. Partly, that underscores how few troops actually die fighting in Afghanistan – the drones help assure that mostly the people who die are on the other side. But this whole suicide-while-in-the-military tells me they’re doing something very wrong. I can speak from my own experience in the Army – when you feel there’s some moral failing in what you’re doing, it’s much easier to feel despair and get depressed. I think, therefore, that this suicide rate among troops is something we should pay attention to, vis-a-vis our moral instincts – do we have any?
What I’m listening to right now.
Radiohead, “Go To Sleep.” This song is awesome, and the video is cool too – I’d never seen it before searching for a version of the song to paste here.
Like every song from this album (Hail To The Thief), it makes me nostalgic for my massive 2003 road trip in Australia, when I discovered my rental car had a CD player and I went into some suburban Sydney Target store and bought a couple Radiohead CDs, which thus became my soundtrack for the trip up the coast from Sydney to Cairns (2000 km).
Lyrics.
Something for the rag and bone man
“Over my dead body”
Something big is gonna happen
“Over my dead body”
Someone’s son or someone’s daughter
“Over my dead body”
This is how I end up sucked in
“Over my dead body”
I’m gonna go to sleep
Let this wash all over me
We don’t wanna wake monster taking over
“Tiptoe round, tie him down”
We don’t want the loonies taking over
“Tiptoe round, tie them down”
May pretty horses
Come to you as you sleep
I’m gonna go to sleep
Let this wash all over me
Dayeon's is the best. Do you see that her zoo has hamsters and ants (lower left)? Do you see the girl taking a picture? Do you see the awesome alligators, with only their eyes peeking above the water? She's a pretty good artist for a third grader.
Here's a few by some other kids.
What I'm listening to right now.
[Update 2017-06-22: Video embed of song removed, due to link-rot, and because no other online embeddable version can be found. Sorry.]
Bob Dylan, "Man Gave Names to All the Animals." It's hard to find a good online version of this song. This is a live one that isn't such a great recording, but it's nevertheless an awesome song, and thematically appropriate for the evening. It always makes me remember, vividly, driving to Duluth in the 1980s.
Here are the lyrics.
Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, in the beginning Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, long time ago.
He saw an animal that liked to growl Big furry paws and he liked to howl Great big furry back and furry hair "Ah, think I'll call it a bear".
Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, in the beginning Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, long time ago.
He saw an animal up on a hill Chewing up so much grass until she was filled He saw milk coming out but he didn't know how "Ah, think I'll call it a cow".
Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, in the beginning Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, long time ago.
He saw an animal that liked to snort Horns on his head and they weren't too short It looked like there wasn't nothing that he couldn't pull "Ah, I'll think I'll call it a bull".
Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, in the beginning Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, long time ago. He saw an animal leaving a muddy trail Real dirty face and a curly tail He wasn't too small and he wasn't too big "Ah, think I'll call it a pig".
Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, in the beginning Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, long time ago.
Next animal that he did meet Had wool on his back and hooves on his feet Eating grass on a mountainside so steep "Ah, think I'll call it a sheep".
Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, in the beginning Man gave names to all the animals In the beginning, long time ago.
He saw an animal as smooth as glass Slithering his way through the grass Saw him disappear by a tree near a lake ….
How freakin appropriate, given my feelings this weekend.
What I’m listening to right now.
X-Press (feat. David Byrne), “Lazy.” Actually, I wasn’t so lazy, listening to it. I went on a jog in the park, around the lake. The extended version is a better track, but the shorter version has the cool video, above.
Here’s the lyrics.
I’m lazy when I’m lovin and I’m lazy when I play I’m lazy with my girlfriend a thousand times a day I’m lazy when I’m speaking, I’m lazy when I walk I’m lazy when I’m dancing and I’m lazy when I talk
Open up my mouth, air comes rushing out (sigh) Nothing, doing nada, never, how d’you like me now? Wouldn’t it be mad, wouldn’t it be fine Lazy, lucky lady, dancing, loving all the time
Ohhhhh I’m wicked and I’m lzy Ohhhhh Don’t you want to save me?
Some folks they got money and some folks love to sweep Some folks make decisions and some folks clean the streets Now imagine what it feels like, imagine how it sounds Imagine life was perfect and everything works out
No tears are falling from my eyes I’m keeping all the pain inside Now don’t you want to live with me I’m lazy as a man can be
Ohhhhh I’m wicked and I’m lazy Ohhhhh Don’t you want to save me?
Ooh-hoo
Imagine there’s a girlfriend, imagine there’s a job Imagine there’s an answer, imagine there’s a God Imagine I’m a devil, imagine I’m a saint Lazy money, lazy, sexy, lazy outer space
No tears are falling from my eyes I’m keeping all the pain inside Now don’t you want to live with me I’m lazy as a man can be
(Note this paragraph is for the extended version)
Ohhhhh I’m wicked and I’m lazy Ohhhhh Don’t you want to save me? Lazy when I work, lazy on the bed Screaming all you like but it only fades away I’m lazy when I’m praying, lazy on the job Got a lazy mind, lazy eye, lazy lazy father
Hard man, hard life Hard keeping it all inside Good times, good God m’so lazy I almos’ stopppppTTT
Ohhhhh I’m wicked and I’m lazy Ohhhhh Don’t you want to save me? Ohhhhh I’m wicked and I’m lazy Ohhhhh Don’t you want to save me?
I stand around at American weddings I stand around for family At my best when I'm terrorist inside At my best when it's all me
I was there when they took all the people I was alone in a mental ravine You breathe life when you break the walls down You breathe life when you set me free
Where is my head Where are my bones Why are my days so far from home? Where is my head? Where are my bones? Can you save me from myself?
Free thinking renegade social Missed the moon, the man and now In a slipstream of my possibilities? I got the boat so we don't drown These are the days that are split down the middle No words to calm me down Be sure that what you dream of Won't come to hunt you out
Where is my head? Where are my bones? Why are my days so far from home? Ghost man Where is my head? Where are my bones? How come we get so lost? Ghost man Where is my head? Where are my bones? Can you save me from myself? Can you save me from myself?
I stand around at American weddings I stand around for family At my best when I'm terrorist inside At my best when it's all me
Ghost man How come we get so lost? Ghost man
Where is my head? Where are my bones? Why are my days so far from home? Ghost man Where is my head? Where are my bones? How come we get so lost? Ghost man Where is my head? Where are my bones? Can you save me from myself? Can you save me from myself?
I like this song. It makes me think of my years living in L.A. – which were rough years, in some respects. We get nostalgic about even difficult times. I am a ghost man.
How is it at all possible that I reached the age of 46 without realizing that there are pedants out there who like to distinguish between the concepts of acronym (a pronounciable grouping of first letters and sounds, e.g. NASA) and initialism (an unpronounciable grouping of first letters, e.g. FBI)? And to think that I was a literature major!
According to the wiktionary, there are 3 meanings for acronym:
1. An abbreviation formed by (usually initial) letters taken from a word or series of words, that is itself pronounced as a word, such as RAM, radar, or scuba; sometimes contrasted with initialism. 2. A pronounceable word formed from the beginnings (letter or syllable) of other words and thus representing the phrase so formed, e.g. Benelux = the countries Belgium, Netherlands and Luxembourg considered as a political or economic whole. 3. Any abbreviation so formed, regardless of pronunciation, such as TNT, IBM, or XML.
I always, always thought that definition 3 was the main definition. For me, it was the only definition. But a usage note says, “The third sense is often criticized by commentators who prefer the term initialism for abbreviations that are not pronounced like an ordinary word.” So it turns out that these anonymous commentators would have judged me to be wrong, all these years.
My absolute favorite acronym, therefore, turns out to actually be an initialism (unless you are good at pronouncing the /tl/ cluster, as in the Nahuatl language): TLA = three-letter acronym. Properly speaking, it should instead be TLI = three-letter initialism. Somehow, it seems less compelling, that way. But that’s just because it shakes up my long-held habit. I’ll try to adapt.
Here’s a lingering question, however. Some potential acronyms are nevertheless typically “pronounced” as initialisms. Anyone could say /ukla/ for UCLA, if they wanted (and, in fact, Spanish speakers generally do exactly that, for example), but people typically spell it out in English, U.C.L.A. So is it an acronym or an initialism?
What I’m listening to right now.
Cat Stevens (AKA Yusuf Islam), “My Lady d’Arbanville.” He looks so very 70’s in that video.
But I’ve been realizing, when I heard it came around on the mp3 shuffle… Cat Stevens has been more consistently a part of my “life soundtrack” than any other composer or singer in my life – he was part of my parents’ soundtrack when I was child growing up, he was a major component of my own listening, as an adolescent, and unlike other musical manias and fads I’ve had, he’s always been on the short rotation. If I had to guess a single album that I’ve listened to more times than any other, it would almost undoubtedly be Mona Bone Jakon (the disturbing origin of this album title is slightly NSFW – interestingly, this latter term is an acronym [pardon me, initialism] which was being written about by Alan Jacobs at the Atlantic wherein I first learned of this aforementioned acronym/initialism distinction – thus, full circle).
I felt some tweegret when I ran across this tweet, by someone named Dan K. Here’s what he said:
History of the universe: Hydrogen is a light, odorless gas, which, given enough time, turns into people and ends up thinking about itself.
Now that it’s June, I don’t feel different than I did yesterday. That is a pointless observation. But it’s just hydrogen, right?
What I’m listening to right now.
Woven Hand, “Dirty Blue.” Interesting video, too.
Lyrics.
This fear is only the beginning
All for the loving hand
Yes I smile and I agree
It is a good night to shiver
A good tongue might make it right
All I’ve said above a whisper
There is a sorrow to be desired
To be sorrow’s desire
There is a sorrow to be desired
To be sorrow’s desire
What they say is true
It is a dirty blue
This color around you
You’re curled up warm
In your own little corner of Sodom
Did you agree to believe
This fall has no bottom
There is a sorrow to be desired
To be sorrow’s desire
There is a sorrow to be desired
To be sorrow’s desire
All we move by the book of numbers
I’m held together by string
I hear not the voices of others
The bells of Leuven ring
Fear not the faces of brothers
And I, I’ve come apart it seems
I see not the faces are covered
And I, I’m in your amber ring
Your amber ring…
What they say is true
It is a dirty blue
This color around you
There is a sorrow to be desired
To be sorrow’s desire
There is a sorrow to be desired
To be sorrow’s desire
So after all the procrastination associated with renewing my visa, I thought I'd have a break from the procrastination-guilt after it finally got renewed.
Unfortunately, I've found a new thing to procrastinate on – I have to go get a medical check-up / drug-screening, now – it's a requirement for the provincial education office for all hagwon teachers (not just foreign ones). I have to go to a hospital and get the screening, but I keep not going to do it. This morning, I had resolved to finally go and get it done, but then I woke up, and in my blurry morning routine, immediately consumed two cups of coffee and a bowl of rice. Unfortunately, you're supposed to fast for the screening. Um. Oops. Was that a freudian avoidance-thing going on?
Today is Buddha-Came-Along-Day (부처님 오신 날). So, THAT man came around – as opposed to the other man who didn’t come around. A holiday. As is my usual behavior on most Korean holidays, I’m just going to stay home – I hate battling crowds in public transport, as everyone seems to want to go somewhere on holidays.
It matches up with U.S. Memorial Day, this year. That’s just coincidence – Buddha’s birthday follows the lunar calendar, and seems to fall kind of late, this year.
Now that I’ve renewed my contract, I’ve embarked on an apartment-improvement spree. I bought some soft mosquito-netting type stuff and I’ve rigged it over my window. The problem with this is that when the window is closed, the handle wants to push through where the netting wants to go. This has been solved because this netting is removable – it’s velcroed the window frame and when I want to close the window, I peel back the netting. It works. I’m happy – there are a lot of mosquitoes breeding in the swamp in the alley down below, and worse, there is a disgusting pigeon infestation on the side of my building somewhere, and they have a lot of flies, which fly through my open windows most discourteously. Now, problem solved – I can keep my window open without inviting in the small-brained denizens of the building’s exterior.
Some Dalits in India are making a new "Goddess of English" according to something I saw at BBC. She's not a Goddess of English people, but English as a subject of study – because Dalits (who are India's "untouchable" caste) feel they need Engish even more than other Indian people. I think, actually, she should be called GOEFL – Goddess of English as a Foreign Language. This suits our language's current affinity for acronyms.
Wouldn't it be funny if, hundreds of years from now, anthropologists were trying to figure out how, exactly, GOEFL arose? I think if there's a Goddess, there needs to be some holy literature to go with her – I mean, seriously, if there was going to be a new "religion of the Book," this is the candidate. It should be a dictionary, maybe? Or a grammar textbook. That would be awesome.
I think the GOEFL could be serious candidate for FSM-type status. (FSM stands for Flying Spaghetti Monster.) I won't try to explain – but I recall the anecdote of the Kansas science teacher who tried to get the "FSM creation myth" into the classroom, based on challenging the vague wording of a new pro-creationist education law in that retrograde state. Properly, the religion is called Pastafarianism. I do not make this comparison this to mock GOEFL – I genuinely and sincerely hope she's a successful and widely adopted goddess.
To celebrate GOEFL Advent, I met my friend Basil who was up from Gwangju visiting, and we went out to that Indian Restaurant in the LaFesta shopping center (about a block from my old apartment). Actually, we didn't know it was GOEFL Advent. But we had some Naan and I had Aloo Palak and Raita, anyway. There were thunderstorms but the rain was sparse and we mostly walked between the raindrops.
… but the song said he would. I’m referring to the Johnny Cash song based on the Book of Revelation (St John’s Apocalypsis). It’s rather dylanesque. Kind of intense in a not-sure-that’s-relevant way.
What I’m listening to right now.
Johnny Cash, “The Man Comes Around.”
Lyrics.
And I heard as it were the noise of thunder One of the four beasts saying come and see and I saw And behold a white horse
There’s a man going around taking names And he decides who to free and who to blame Everybody won’t be treated all the same There’ll be a golden ladder reaching down When the Man comes around
The hairs on your arm will stand up At the terror in each sip and in each sup Will you partake of that last offered cup? Or disappear into the potter’s ground When the Man comes around
Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers One hundred million angels singing Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum Voices calling, voices crying Some are born and some are dying It’s Alpha and Omega’s kingdom come
And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree The virgins are all trimming their wicks The whirlwind is in the thorn tree It’s hard for thee to kick against the pricks
Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom Then the father hen will call his chickens home The wise man will bow down before the throne And at His feet they’ll cast their golden crowns When the Man comes around
Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still Listen to the words long written down When the Man comes around
Hear the trumpets, hear the pipers One hundred million angels singing Multitudes are marching to the big kettledrum Voices calling and voices crying Some are born and some are dying It’s Alpha and Omega’s kingdom come
And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree The virgins are all trimming their wicks The whirlwind is in the thorn tree It’s hard for thee to kick against the pricks
In measured hundred weight and penney pound When the Man comes around.
Close (Spoken part) And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts And I looked and behold, a pale horse And his name that sat on him was Death And Hell followed with him.
I heard this as I was walking around Ilsan earlier today – I went to the HomePlus store over by Kintex – it’s actually closer than the other one that’s near my old apartment. (HomePlus is a kind Korean Target store, roughly – it’s a step up from E-Mart which is Korean Wal-Mart, and, much as I prefer Target to Wal-Mart, so I also prefer HomePlus to E-Mart.)
I walked by the Juyeop Children’s Library, which is rather cool, architecturally.
I walked by some springing flowers in front of Hansu Elementary School.
It felt like early Summer. Wait – it’s early Summer. That must be why.
Radio K is the University of Minnesota's radio station. They do things that I listen to, sometimes. The world is very interconnected these days, isn't it? I live in suburban Seoul and I listen to internet radio from Michoacan or Minnesota or Santa Monica.
What I'm listening to right now.
Fire in the Northern Firs, "Flavor Savior." The sound reminds me of something vaguely Afghan Wiggish or U2ish. Or something.
Walking home, I heard Nik Kershaw’s song “Don Quijote” come on my mp3 player’s shuffle. This made me think of Rocinante. But not the Rocinante who was Don Quijote’s horse, rather, the Rocinante that was the name of my giant M816 wrecker, US Army tow truck that I operated in Korea in 1991 as part of the 296th Support Battalion of the 2nd Infantry Division. In fact, I had nothing to do with why the truck was named Rocinante, although I approved of the name. It had simply come that way, already named.
Nik Kershaw’s album, The Riddle, which included that song, was one of only a half-dozen cassettes that I had for my Walkman, during my time stationed in Korea. As a consequence, the tape was on heavy rotation. When I was off duty, I would retreat from the barracks – where I despised some of my roommates, and most of all, where I genuinely feared my squad sergeant – and I would climb the hill on base to the helipad. I would sit down in a ditch and listen to my Walkman and read Dostoyevsky or Gogol. I consumed an immense amount of Russian literature that year – because the tiny Camp Edwards battalion library had a weirdly complete collection of Russian classics in translation. Perhaps this was a by-product of being so close to the DMZ (North Korea was less than 10 miles away), and an artifact of the Cold War era.
I don’t have any pictures from that epoch in my life. But here’s a “web pic” I found of an M816 tow truck. It’s a very useful tool for flipping over Humvees that have been stranded upside-down in rice fields by hotshot sergeants.
What I’m listening to right now.
Nik Kershaw, “Don Quijote.” Lyrics:
your mind can play tricks makes you what you want to be just like superheroes you saw them on tv
coast to coast, wall to wall got to go, duty calls here i am superman, lois lane saved the world, back again here i am
in my old, red saloon i’m a knight in shining armour if i were asleep, man i couldn’t be much calmer
hit the road, on the run faster than anyone here i amone for all, all for one shake the fist, shoot the gun here i am
don quixote what do you say? are we proud? are we brave? or just crazy? don quixote what do you say? are we shooting at windmills like you?
common sense, is as good as a cafe’ on the moon when man and machinery come to their high noon
beat the clock, punch the wall fix’d in no time at all here i amradio on the blink kick the cat, hit the drink here i am
don quixote what do you say? are we proud, are be brave or just crazy? don quixote what do you say? are we shooting at windmills like you?
I have been re-reading Nietzsche’s Geneology of Morals. I first read it maybe two decades ago in Spanish, but I consider it a very important work, for me. So I go back to it occasionally.
In his third essay, he writes about the ascetic ideal. I have felt the wierdly unascetic yearning to find this idea. I recognize the hypocrisy of it, as with most “purity narratives” as I like to call them. Here, Nietzsche rejects (or seems to be on the path to rejecting) Buddha’s ascetic idea, specifically.
Every philosopher would say, as Buddha said, when the birth of a son was announced to him: “Rahoula has been born to me, a fetter has been forged for me” (Rahoula means here “a little demon”); there must come an hour of reflection to every “free spirit” (granted that he has had previously an hour of thoughtlessness), just as one came once to the same Buddha: “Narrowly cramped,” he reflected, “is life in the house; it is a place of uncleanness; freedom is found in leaving the house.” Because he thought like this, he left the house. So many bridges to independence are shown in the ascetic ideal, that the philosopher cannot refrain from exultation and clapping of hands when he hears the history of all those resolute ones, who on one day uttered a nay to all servitude and went into some desert; even granting that they were only strong asses, and the absolute opposite of strong minds. What, then, does the ascetic ideal mean in a philosopher? This is my answer—it will have been guessed long ago: when he sees this ideal the philosopher smiles because he sees therein an optimum of the conditions of the highest and boldest intellectuality; he does not thereby deny ‘”existence,” he rather affirms thereby his existence and only his existence, and this perhaps to the point of not being far off the blasphemous wish, pereat mundus, fiat philosophia, fiat philosophus, fiam!
At the opening sentence of the next section (section 8), he makes his point explicitly. “These philosophers, you see, are by no means uncorrupted witnesses and judges of the value of the ascetic ideal.”
Indeed. These philosophers are, in fact, coopted by the purity meme. What’s the alternative?
쥐구멍에도 볕들 날 있다 mouse-hole-IN-TOO sunshine day there-is Even in a mouse hole there is sunshine.
This means, “Every dog has his day,” or “Every cloud has its silver lining.” I hope so. I had a crappy day. I’m looking for the silver lining. What’s with that EP1 class, anyway?
What I’m listening to right now.
Bush, “The Chemicals Between Us.” I’m killing time before falling asleep reading the Food section of the LA Times online. Why do I do this?
