I waste so much food.
When I cook, I forget the change
that cancer gave me.
Month: May 2018
Caveat: the ponderous deflations of distance
The Curtains in the House of the Metaphysician
It comes about that the drifting of these curtains
Is full of long motions, as the ponderous
Deflations of distance; or as clouds
Inseparable from their afternoons;
Or the changing of light, the dropping
Of the silence, wide sleep and solitude
Of night, in which all motion
Is beyond us, as the firmament,
Up-rising and down-falling, bares
The last largeness, bold to see.
– Wallace Stevens (American poet, 1879-1955)
[daily log: walking, 7.5km]
Caveat: Poem #652
dreams
suspend
waking life's
uncertainties
replacing those with
a different set of doubts
which well up like floodwaters
murky, dark and full of bodies
to inundate the mind's furniture
[daily log: walking, 2km]
Caveat: Poem #651
My thoughts just hang like wounded beasts that yield
to nothing, struggling on instead to death.
Caveat: We all came out to Montreux
I recently learned that the famous classic rock song, "Smoke On The Water," by British rockers Deep Purple, was written about events at Montreux, Switzerland, which took place there in 1971 at the same time that the famous Russian-American author Vladimir Nabokov was resident there. It's interesting to imagine Nabokov and the members of Deep Purple interacting in a small French-Swiss town. Nabokov was of a different generation, but he might have been interested in rock music, given his fascination with other aspects of emergent pop culture.
What I'm listening to right now.
Deep Purple, "Smoke On The Water."
We all came out to Montreux
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
To make records with a mobile
We didn't have much time
Frank Zappa and the Mothers
Were at the best place around
But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound
Funky Claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
But Swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
We ended up at the Grand Hotel
It was empty cold and bare
But with the Rolling truck Stones thing just outside
Making our music there
With a few red lights and a few old beds
We make a place to sweat
No matter what we get out of this
I know, I know we'll never forget
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky
Smoke on the water
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #650 “A walk through a patch of forest”
ㅁ The bare branches gone, instead the paths are sheltered by long arches of green.
– a failed haiku (a pseudo-pseudo-haiku?).
Caveat: Getting Things Done
More busy days. So here's something I saw: a guy who makes videos of his Rube Goldberg machines.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #649 “Where the answers don’t come from”
ㅁ Often I sit, look out my window, contemplating my life's purpose, watching buildings or people. Answers don't come from the meditatively disconsolate overcast sunless sky.
– a nonnet.
Caveat: Party just for you
Childish Gambino (AKA Donald Glover) has a new song / video out. It's quite remarkable, and has received high critical praise from important media™. There is a detailed parsing of the video and song at Huffington Post, for example.
It's a rap song. It's also a dance composition. It's cinematography and poetry. It's also hefty, deep and dark social criticism. Make of it what you will. I'm impressed.
What I'm listening to right now.
Childish Gambino, "This is America." Is this America?
[Intro: Choir]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
[Bridge: Childish Gambino & Young Thug]
We just wanna party
Party just for you
We just want the money
Money just for you
I know you wanna party
Party just for me
Girl, you got me dancin' (yeah, girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame
We just wanna party (yeah)
Party just for you (yeah)
We just want the money (yeah)
Money just for you (you)
I know you wanna party (yeah)
Party just for me (yeah)
Girl, you got me dancin' (yeah, girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame (you)
[Chorus: Childish Gambino]
This is America
Don't catch you slippin' up
Don't catch you slippin' up
Look what I'm whippin' up
This is America (woo)
Don't catch you slippin' up
Don't catch you slippin' up
Look what I'm whippin' up
[Verse 1: Childish Gambino, Blocboy JB, Slim Jxmmi, Young Thug, & 21 Savage]
This is America (skrrt, skrrt, woo)
Don't catch you slippin' up (ayy)
Look at how I'm livin' now
Police be trippin' now (woo)
Yeah, this is America (woo, ayy)
Guns in my area (word, my area)
I got the strap (ayy, ayy)
I gotta carry 'em
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go into this (ugh)
Yeah, yeah, this is guerilla (woo)
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go get the bag
Yeah, yeah, or I'ma get the pad
Yeah, yeah, I'm so cold like yeah (yeah)
I'm so dope like yeah (woo)
We gon' blow like yeah (straight up, uh)
[Refrain: Choir & Childish Gambino]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (get your money)
Get your money, Black man (get your money)
Get your money, Black man (get your, Black man)
Get your money, Black man (get your, Black man)
Black man
[Chorus: Childish Gambino, Slim Jxmmi, & Young Thug]
This is America (woo, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' up (woo, woo, don't catch you slippin', now)
Don't catch you slippin' up (ayy, woah)
Look what I'm whippin' up (Slime!)
This is America (yeah, yeah)
Don't catch you slippin' up (woah, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' up (ayy, woo)
Look what I'm whippin' up (ayy)
[Verse 2: Childish Gambino, Quavo, Young Thug, & 21 Savage]
Look how I'm geekin' out (hey)
I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo)
I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci)
I'm so pretty (yeah, yeah)
I'm gon' get it (ayy, I'm gon' get it)
Watch me move (blaow)
This a celly (ha)
That's a tool (yeah)
On my Kodak (woo, Black)
Ooh, know that (yeah, know that, hold on)
Get it (get it, get it)
Ooh, work it (21)
Hunnid bands, hunnid bands, hunnid bands (hunnid bands)
Contraband, contraband, contraband (contraband)
I got the plug in Oaxaca (woah)
They gonna find you like blocka (blaow)
[Refrain: Choir, Childish Gambino, & Young Thug]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
America, I just checked my following list and
You go tell somebody
You mothafuckas owe me
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (black man)
Get your money, Black man (black man)
Get your money, Black man (get your, Black man)
Get your money, Black man (get your, Black man)
Black man
(One, two, three, get down)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me, "Get your money"
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
Black man
[Outro: Young Thug]
You just a Black man in this world
You just a barcode, ayy
You just a Black man in this world
Drivin' expensive foreigns, ayy
You just a big dawg, yeah
I kenneled him in the backyard
No probably ain't life to a dog
For a big dog
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #648 “What I saw when I left my body behind”
ㅁ There is nothing here but silence. Trees just stand, awaiting nighttime. Dust and bones discarded lie here. Look around, the soul is listless. There is nothing here but silence.
– a pentastich of indeterminate tetrameter.
Caveat: No time for caveats
Even starting with having Monday off, this week is a brutal schedule. One of my coworkers is absent, so I'm covering some substitute classes on top of an already fuller-than-usual schedule.
So nothing much to say, here, now. I have 7 classes today, back-to-back, no breaks. I guess I'll go early and prep.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #647 “Starting to letting go”
ㅁ A strong wind tugged at the leaves of trees that hung there in the spring's night air, all fresh from growing newly, clinging to their branches, not wanting to go, but the wind pulls: a leaf shakes, wavers, flies.
– a nonnet.
Caveat: 吉降下
"Teacher, what's your name in Korean?"
…One possible answer, but not the most easily explained or accepted (though it does, by chance, conform to the two-syllable requirement), would be to look to the Biblical passage where the name "Jared" makes an appearance:
(15)마할랄렐은 육십 오세에 야렛을 낳았고(16)야렛을 낳은 후 팔백 삼십년을 지내며 자녀를 낳았으며(17)그가 팔백 구십 오세를 향수하고 죽었더라(18)야렛은 일백 육십 이세에 에녹을 낳았고(19)에녹을 낳은 후 팔백년을 지내며 자녀를 낳았으며(20)그가 구백 육십 이세를 향수하고 죽었더라 — 창세기5장15-20
The standard Korean transcription of the Hebrew trilateral YRD is 야렛 [ya.ret], while in English Bibles it's "Jared". The Hebrew trilateral has been proposed to be related to the meaning "descended" (i.e. God descends upon him [?]).
In fact, though, the use of "Biblical names" is not typical in Korea, even among the many hardcore Pentecostals. The Catholics, at least, generally baptize their kids with saints' names, but even these baptismal names are not the ones used legally or day-to-day. Instead, most everyone follows the traditional naming practices (which are essentially Chinese in origin). The use of non-hanja names (i.e. non-Chinese ones) is on the rise, but in most instances these non-Chinese names are still not Biblical in origin, but rather vaguely nationalistic "Pure Korean" names (e.g. common nouns, like the popular 이슬 [i.seul] for girls, meaning "dew").
Slightly less problematically, I generally translate my family name as simply 길 [gil]. This is an actual used family name in Korea [hanja: 吉]. I use it as translating the English common noun "way". This is not etymologically accurate in English, since my surname is in fact Welsh, not English. Nor is it etymologically accurate in Korean, since the family name "Gil" is not related to the Korean common noun "gil" = "way", but rather the term 길하다 [gil.ha.da = to be auspicious, to be fortunate]. Perhaps the double etymological inaccuracy cancels out, and it ends up being appropriate?
Hence, my "Korean name" might be: 길야렛 [gil.ya.ret]. Doesn't actually sound Korean, though.
Perhaps returning to the Hebrew trilateral, YRD [ירד], we could look for a hanja equivalent, and make that my name? There is 강하 [gang.ha, hanja 降下, meaning "fall down, descend"]. That sounds much more like a typical Korean name, 길강하 [Gil Gangha], and furthermore offers a parsable hanja form: 吉降下.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #646 “That inchoate shift in seasons”
ㅁ Dusk comes late as summer begins chewing at the cool edges of rough spring. Already many birds have things to say and the clouds begin taking on a polychrome luminosity.
– a reverse nonnet.
Caveat: On the Gradual Adoption of Decadent Western Holiday Scheduling Practices
It would seem that Korea is beginning to give a try at adopting that scandalously decadent US practice of moving minor holidays to Mondays in order to give people long weekends. Honestly, except for the "bridge days" associated with major holidays like Thanksgiving (추석) and the Lunar New Year (설날), I've never seen Koreans doing that before. But this year, with the peculiar "Children's Day" holiday (May 5) falling on a Saturday, the government announced that instead the holiday would be on Monday, May 7th.
And lo, I have a day off. Right in the hellish (schedule-wise) month of May.
So I will rest. And rest some more, after that first resting is done.
[daily log: walking, 2km]
Caveat: Poem #645
In a box in South Korea
lives a man quite eremetic.
Yet each day he goes to work and
herds the children to and fro.
Caveat: It made the slovenly wilderness / Surround that hill.
Anecdote of the Jar
I placed a jar in Tennessee,
And round it was, upon a hill.
It made the slovenly wilderness
Surround that hill.
The wilderness rose up to it,
And sprawled around, no longer wild.
The jar was round upon the ground
And tall and of a port in air.
It took dominion everywhere.
The jar was gray and bare.
It did not give of bird or bush,
Like nothing else in Tennessee.
– Wallace Stevens (American poet, 1879-1955)
[daily log: walking, 1km]
Caveat: Poem #644
My houseplants are mute.
The sky gazes upon them
through a square window.
[daily log: walking, 1.5km]
Caveat: Poem #643
Clouds can be perfect
brooding gradations of gray
with contours like maps.
Caveat: Messages of comfort and succor in time of need
"Keyboard not attached. Press F5 to continue." – a certain computer, in a certain moment.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #642
A pile of bones there;
Stark mountains without feature;
The wind claws at me.
Caveat: One day when the sky is falling
Not much to report.
The Karma Talent Show is coming up. A group of elementary students selected this song to sing in the show – I made them choose the song, so that when they complained about it later, I could point back at them and say, "hey, it was your choice." That was a useful decision, which I fall back on almost daily. I'm trying to get them to practice it. My own musical skills are limited, so it's a bit like the blind leading the blind. But I guess it's going okay.
What I'm listening to right now.
Chris Brown and Justin Bieber, "Next To You." Don't pay attention to the video – I'm not sure it's relevant to the song.
Lyrics
You've got that smile
That only heaven can make
I pray to God everyday
That you keep that smile
That only heaven can make
I pray to God everyday
That you keep that smile
Yeah, you are my dream
There's not a thing I won't do
I'll give my life up for you
'Cause you are my dream
There's not a thing I won't do
I'll give my life up for you
'Cause you are my dream
And baby, everything that I have is yours
You will never go cold or hungry
I'll be there when you're insecure
Let you know that you're always lovely
Girl, 'cause you are
The only thing that I got right now
You will never go cold or hungry
I'll be there when you're insecure
Let you know that you're always lovely
Girl, 'cause you are
The only thing that I got right now
One day when the sky is falling
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
Nothing will ever come between us
'Cause I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
If you had my child
You would make my life complete
Just to have your eyes on a little me
That'd be mine forever
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
Nothing will ever come between us
'Cause I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
If you had my child
You would make my life complete
Just to have your eyes on a little me
That'd be mine forever
And baby, everything that I have is yours
You will never go cold or hungry
I'll be there when you're insecure
Let you know that you're always lovely
Girl, 'cause you are
The only thing that I got right now
You will never go cold or hungry
I'll be there when you're insecure
Let you know that you're always lovely
Girl, 'cause you are
The only thing that I got right now
One day when the sky is falling
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
Nothing will ever come between us
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
Nothing will ever come between us
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you
We're made for one another (one another)
Me and you (and you, and you, and you)
And I have no fear
I know we'll make it through
Me and you (and you, and you, and you)
And I have no fear
I know we'll make it through
One day when the sky is falling
I'll be standing right next to you
Oh oh oh oh
I'll be standing right next to you
Oh oh oh oh
One day when the sky is falling (when the sky is falling, falling)
I'll be standing right next to you (right next to you)
Right next to you (right next to you)
Nothing will ever come between us (nothing will ever)
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you (right next to you)
I'll be standing right next to you (right next to you)
Right next to you (right next to you)
Nothing will ever come between us (nothing will ever)
I'll be standing right next to you
Right next to you (right next to you)
Oh nah nah
Oh yeah
Stand by my side, side, side
When the sky falls down
I'll be there, I'll be there
Oh yeah
Stand by my side, side, side
When the sky falls down
I'll be there, I'll be there
You've got that smile
That only heaven can make
I pray to God everyday
To keep you forever
Ooh
That only heaven can make
I pray to God everyday
To keep you forever
Ooh
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #641
I don't quite know what's been the problem.
A kind of struggle, doubting purpose.
In fact that's not uncommon for me.
But still it's bothersome to deal with.
Caveat: Boorish
Teacher: What do we call a person who keeps talking even when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher.
[daily log: walking, 7km]
Caveat: Poem #640
So… morning again
the sky bemused by dull rain
my window spits wind