wendy came with me to the hospital so i didnt walk – i walk too fast as part of my normal routine to expect her to keep up.
im feeling discouraged after my five day break for the following reason: i had hoped that after five days i would have begun feeling "better" but in fact i feel just as bad if not worse. this is discouraging because it means once i finish the radiation series this thursday, its still not really finished, as the slog to full health will remain a long one.
this is worrying because i had made the optimistic promise to resume a regular teaching schedule on october first, but under the present conditions that os hard to imagine. im going to have to have a depressing conversation with curt, as a consequence. and of course, each month of not working full time is expensive, too – more so than the actual treatment. i continue to shovel through my retirement savings at an alarming rate.
i visualize scrouge mcduck, emptying one of his money-swimming vaults with a shovel or a bulldozer.