and just like that, im free and joining coworkers for lunch at 일산칼국수 restaurant. im so elated right now. . . ill blog more later. busy day.
Day: July 24, 2013
caveat: not for claustrophobics
i went to my “practice” radiation session today. they tested their gadgets on me but also prepared my restraint system. a set of customized plastic molds were prepared shaped to my head and torso.
when strapped down inside them, i have zero freedom of movement. ZERO. i can only breathe. i cant twitch. i cant open my eyes. i cant turn my neck even a millimeter. i cant swallow or flex my tongue.
just breathe.
machines hum. the automated table moves me in and out of the ring-o-xray-zappers. doctors and technicians talk.
breathe in. breathe out. my training in meditation is the most useful skill ive ever acquired.
when they unstrapped me the doctor grinned. “you passed. you got your license.” he said i did perfect.
caveat: the amazing cancer hospital diet plan!
hospital life has many small rituals. every morning i weigh myself and record the result in the log by the scale.
since check in until now i have lost slightly over 7 kilos – thats 15 pounds in just over 3 weeks. although its a bit expensive, i can highly recommend cancer as a great, reliable way to drop those pesky extra pounds. try it today!
caveat: photo from orbit 22
always cheerful as she bustles about with her mops and bags and buckets, this is my favorite of the cleaning staff. she seemed very surprised at my desire to include her in my picture-taking mania. i tried to tell her in my bad korean that she helped a lot, cleaning floors or bathrooms or bagging up laundry. she ran away from my camera but i lingered patiently and so she came back and smiled.
caveat: last days
this nurse is named ayeong. she surprised me very much last night. we were talking about the fact that today was my last day, and unexpectedly she said “ill tell you secret. tomorrow is my last day too.” of course i was very shocked but we ended up having two very long conversations, last night and this morning.
shes been at the hospital for 3 years. i learned some things about workplace politics at elite research hospitals in korea. shes burned out – she said shes going to find an easier hospital to work at. she has been very kind and always utterly professional. i feel sorry shes leaving NCC but i was lucky to have her as a nurse on her last month here. i hope she finds an ideal job.
caveat: *dink* *dink*
i was just sitting here, after dinner, dozing, and a sudden, strange, poking sensation just above my right thumbnail manifested. like two ants doing a pair of coordinated pirouettes in that spot. *dink* *dink*
and with that, as if a switch had been flipped, feeling (touch) sensation was restored to a broad swathe of skin stretching up the inside of my thumb and along the soft part of the outside of my thumb. its not painful at all, just a bit tingly then as if completely normal.
is that how nerves work?
as an outcome of my major surgery, the extraction of flesh from my right forearm had removed or damaged some nerves leading to my thumb, so since then my entire thumb has been numb and with some limits on full movement too. this sudden development doesnt restore everything. . . a little more than half is still missing. but its interesting and weird and hopeful how a large area of sensation "pops" back like that.