caveat: steps forward steps back

i was ecstatic earlier this morning. first the doctor drained a bunch more goo from my neck, which feels better and less worrisome. then, preliminary to removing my c-line (a sort of iv stuck into a vein in my upper chest near the collar bone that is used in major surgeries as opposed to the more familiar iv stuck into ones arm or hand or foot), they had removed the drip line entirely and so for a brief hour i was free of external tubing entirely. with no iv cart to have to trundle around, i was practically dancing the corridors of my familiar orbit and chatting animatedly with several men about our respective cancers and possible discharge dates. the removal of the c-line presaged a good prospect, as that indicates that the doctors dont anticipate any possible need to readmit me to surgery.

but then reality took some countermeasures. a conventional iv was sunk in my left hand, much less comfortable than by my collarbone, harder to work around. with only that one functional hand, it felt exceptionally onerous. then the actual c-line removal was more difficult than i anticipated – though not painful, i was required to lie still, on my back, for more than an hour. andrew kept me company.

finally, during lunch, due to tongue failure i choked on some food item so badly that i began to vomit slightly. most people know thats umpleasant. i lost my appetite quickly. so now i just feel exhausted.

while lying still for so long for the c-line removal, i composed a new bucket list.

jareds bucket list (post cancer first draft, short version):

1. learn korean.

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