Dateline: Los Angeles
…
Soon, I return to Korea. I went to the post office just now, to mail myself a package of the books I bought.
One thing that came up, talking last night with the various people at Fidel's get-together, was that Koreans seem "cold." Meaning, the many Koreans in Los Angeles have a sort of cultural stereotype of being cold, unfriendly, too businesslike, too serious. And this was on my mind as I went to the post office, and had all these incredibly friendly, casual interactions with the many people in the post office.
The clerk, an elderly white man, was friendly – he told me that he liked my shirt, and he told me about a neighborhood art fair the thought I would like – apparently on the basis of the artwork on my t-shirt. A middle-aged latina held the door open for me going in, and smiled. A young black man held the door open for me on the way out, and I said thank you, and he said have a great day.
All of these are "normal" in the US, at least in some neighborhoods. And it's true that Koreans aren't like that. If they don't know you, and have no reason to interact with you, it's like you don't even exist. You're invisible to them – a ghost.
But all you have to do is have the most rudimentary bit of social interaction and Koreans are actually quite friendly. There has to be some social wedge, though – a point of dialogue, something initiated. And then they begin to open up. And in my experience, it's up to us – meaning us, the outsiders – to reach out. Which how someone can live in Koreatown for 10 years and insist that none of her neighbors ever talk to her. It's true. They won't say hi in the post office, they won't hold the door open for you at the convenience store. You're invisible. But if you would just talk to them, you could forge friendships just as with any other human being. I suppose what I'm saying is that embedded in Korean culture is a sort of inherent shyness.
Perhaps this is yet another way that I fit in there, in a weird, alien sort of way. Not sure. Just speculating.