Caveat: 1:20 AM

Last night, at 1:20 AM, a very loud and scary-sounding alarm began to sound in my building. I woke up, startled. My first thought: I opened a window and listened to the world outside, to see if it was part of a broader civil-defense alert (e.g. North Korea finally going off the deep end). Relieved that that didn't appear to be the case, I figured two possibilities: 99%) somebody messing around and made a mistake; 1%) an actual fire in the building. I opened my door into the corridor, and exchanged blurry glances with a neighbor guy down the hall. We shrugged. I went back in, grabbed my little "documents" box and threw it into my backpack, slipped on some shoes, grabbed my cellphone and wallet, and went down the stairs, seven floors, to the lobby of my building.

There were many people loitering around. But no evidence of fire trucks, nor was the night-watch doorman/parking-lot dude anywhere in evidence. I exchanged meaningless glances with some deeply annoyed-looking women. The night-shift man in the 24-hour convenience store off the lobby (with whom I have a "nod hello" acquaintance since he's always starting his shift when I stop in there on the way home from work to buy my bottled cold corn-tassle tea or orange juice or milk) didn't seem to be noticing the alarm at all.

The alarm stopped. I went back up the stairs, because the elevators seemed stuck on some upper floor. I stopped and peered in a few of the floors on the way back to the seventh. Nothing really going on. I went into my apartment, and put down my bag. I figured if it was a real fire, the alarm would start again, but I was also feeling stressed because it seemed likely that it could go off again, if it was the result of someone's mistake. So I stayed awake. I fired up the computer and surfed the internet, and tried to watch an episode of the Daily Show. I thought about my "emergency response" plan. I actually have one – I keep all my important documents in a plastic box which I can grab easily (as I did this time). And my laptop sleeps in my backpack, too. And I have a detachable harddrive with file backups that I can throw into it easily. I looked around my apartment, and wondered if there was anything else I'd regret hugely to lose, in an emergency. Hm… I'm kind of a pack-rat, especially with books and papers. But … I'd let go of most of it without being plunged into depression, if it had to happen. And so… whatever.

I feel like I didn't get a very good night's rest, though.

Caveat: Bots

I have been known to log on to some chat utility or another (i.e. AIM or Yahoo) to interact with some long-lost acquaintances now and then. There are lot of bots lurking out there in these nether parts of the internet. Mostly, of course, one wants to ignore such things as bots. But the other day I was inspired, I decided to see what the bot had to say for itself. I was unimpressed, except by my own strangeness. I have changed the usernames to protect the innocent and the guilty.


bogybaggle: heya.

jaredrobot: really?

bogybaggle: hey! 21/femaIe here. you?

jaredrobot: robot. indeterminate age.

bogybaggle: NO i am not a bot

jaredrobot: i know. i am.

bogybaggle: hmm….. have we ever chatted be4?

jaredrobot: yes. we are one and the same. one mind. hive mind.

bogybaggle: oh sorry…. i am reaIIy forgetfuII sometimes. but anyways whats up?

jaredrobot: i'm suffering from an epistemological crisis.

bogybaggle: hey i have some pictures of me on my profiIe on this site if you wouId Iike to see them?

jaredrobot: i don't have the ability to integrate visual data.

bogybaggle:
yeah? ok weII you wiII have to signup there to make sure that your not a
kid because i have a coupIe R rated pictures on there

bogybaggle: but dontt worry it is completly free and easy to signup. heres the signup page https://[redacted]

jaredrobot: kid robot. you're a genius.

bogybaggle: A bot? not hardly babe. Are you?

jaredrobot: yep.

bogybaggle: when u get Iogged in then search for my profiIe bogybaggle.

bogybaggle: if u want to see my R rated pics. the gaIlIery password is xxxfun

jaredrobot: yes, mistress. i'm yours to command.

bogybaggle: brb.
jaredrobot: that's what they all say.

What I'm listening to right now.



Bumblebeez 81, "I Come With Water."

[This is a back-post, written at the date shown but only saved in draft form for a very long time. I finally decided to go through and officially "post" a bunch of old draft posts lying around.]

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