Caveat: Gray Palm Trees

I had a dream in which I was living in a car in a parking lot of an apartment complex like Willowyck – which is the name of the apartment complex that Michelle and I shared in Lansdale, Pennsylvania (north Philadelphia suburbs) in 96~98. 

I was living in a car – it was not a Volkswagen, which is the type of car I actually lived in for a time in 1985.  The car I was living in, in the parking lot of that apartment complex, was a Kia.  That's logical, maybe.  It was a run down, beat up Kia.  It was gray colored, with patches of rust and rumpled areas of primer-paint.

In the dream, my father had a gloomy little apartment at the apartment complex.  But he was making me live in my car, because he had no space in his apartment.  I realized I was late for a flight to Korea, but I couldnt get any help from my father.  He was obsessively sorting some papers out, silently, while sitting at a table in his dark apartment.

Then, the dream shifted.  I found out that my brother had taken over living in my car.  My brother wouldn't help me either.  I went back to the car again after a time, when he wasn't around.  I was looking for my airplane ticket printout for my flight to Korea.  Instead, I found a stuffed, toy monkey in the car, and so I stole the toy monkey from my brother.  He was angry. 

Time passed.  I was walking through the streets of West LA, maybe somewhere near Macarthur Park, carrying my stuffed monkey.  I felt like a homeless man.  It was like a desert, littered with mini malls, apartment buildings, Korean dry cleaning establishments, Mexican taco trucks, Guatemalan dollar stores.  Gray palm trees waved in a bitter tasting wind.  It was beautiful.   But very desolate.  I felt lost and alone.

What issues is this dream working through?

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