OK, I was in limbo for 4 days, and then, this: discouragement.
I always understood it wasn't a "done deal." So Curt broke the news to me last night… he can't hire me. I believe he's sincere when he says he wants to, but he just can't take on the financial burden of hiring a foreigner on an E2 visa — the financial burden in such cases isn't just the matter of my salary (which I was happily and willingly negotiating downward) but a matter of business licenses and legal compliances and such like. So, in the end, it's too much for his small, start-up hagwon to take on. Easier and cheaper to hire Korean nationals and/or F-series visa holders who are free to take whatever job they wish. Curt and I will remain friends, I hope… he has been very kind to me.
Meanwhile, I face one of those flexion points: what next? Plan B. I must plunge into the job market in earnest, because it is truly my intention to stay in Korea. It will take a lot of further disappointments before I give up and go with plan C.
I spent some time surveying the online classifieds this morning for the Korean ESL market. I don't think I need to be that worried… there seems to be an awful lot out there. Given I'm flexible on location and pay, I should find something. But of course, there's the gumption trap of getting started.
I've updated my resume, and I really should try to put together one of those "sample teaching videos" I'd been plotting last summer, but then kind of dropped. I could post it somewhere for potential employers to see.
I've rented a cellphone, finally… this business of trying to get a pre-paid phone (which is cheaper than a rental) on a lowly tourist visa is annoyingly impossible, as far as I've figured out. I'll put my phone number on resume and facebook if anyone wants to call.
Lastly, one more bit of… argh.
I was up at 5 am, this morning, which has been my wakeup time since settling down from the jet-lag. It's not going to be optimal, if I get an afternoon teaching job, but I'm very adjustable, that way — it just takes time. Anyway… this guesthouse I'm staying in is my favorite so far of the various I've sampled in Seoul. It's a bit of the atmosphere of the Casa, where I worked in Mexico City in the 80s (and have stayed there many times since). Of course, it doesn't have the same lefty-liberal bent, here, that prevails at the Casa. So you run into travelers, mostly Japanese and "westerners," and you have occasional conversations.
I had one at 5 am, with this scraggly but friendly fellow American. He was surprised to see someone else up and about. I mentioned my jetlag, briefly, and he was shocked I was "getting up" rather than ending my day. Of course, Koreans are night-owls, so anyone adapted to Korean lifestyle would find it odd, too. But as the conversation progressed, there was this weird, judgemental tone. Like somehow I was morally deficient because I was failing to stay up late and go out drinking each night. "Man, that's what everyone does, in Korea." Well, yes… and, no.
I felt annoyed. I began to feel that this guy, he's exactly the sort of ugly American that is partly why so many Koreans dislike or distrust "foreigners." And then, the icing on the cake:
The conversation had drifted to what I was doing. The job-hunt. I was mulling the fact that I wasn't being very productive. You know, voicing my guilt-feelings, I guess. And his response was quick and aggressive, locker-room toned: "Yeah, man. But that's not what we're here for, is it?" We're not here for being productive? And.. the alternatives?
No wonder so many Koreans see us Americans as lazy. Sigh.
So. 파이팅!