Welcome to my world: the unfunness.
Today, I asked for, and got, some critical feedback on my teaching. Not really a positive review. My own fault for asking, right?
Primary concern: I am unfun. Too serious…. I always have been too serious. I was too serious as a child. As a student. And certainly, I am too serious as a teacher. Still… I have trouble reconciling this with how much fun some of my classes can be, especially the younger kids, on the one hand, and the most highly motivated advanced classes, on the other. But the criticism is certainly compelling in light of those recalcitrant T2's.
Secondary: classroom management. I don't really control my classrooms. That's the uber-democratic hippy-quaker thing showing through. I'm not a disciplinarian, at heart. And I resist being urged to take more control… and have trouble reconciling the idea of being more "fun" on the one hand with being more controlling on the other, though I recognize, intellectually, that it's possible and even necessary with some groups.
Next: I speak too fast. I know this is true, and have no argument here – it's the hardest single thing to remember, as I teach – that I'm working with language learners, and even when they nod and pretend (quite convincingly) that they understand, they aren't necessarily getting much of what I'm saying.
Next: I give the kids too many choices. They're not supposed to have opinions about what they should be studying. This is, again, my countercultural background showing through. And is certainly even less popular a viewpoint, here in Korea, than it would be in the U.S., though even there it would be a less than universal approach.
No defense, no excuses. I will keep trying to improve.
Some general observations, however. I'm an introverted person – perhaps not best suited, in some ways, to being a school teacher.
But on the other hand, I am really pretty good at "teaching" – but only in the context of highly motivated learners. I am not, at least constitutionally, a motivational speaker – not by any stretch of the imagination. Thus, I do fine interacting with those who bring a desire to learn to the classroom, regardless of their level of innate intelligence or degree of preparation. But, when it comes to the motivationally challenged, I am clueless and incapable of pulling them along. Perhaps this is because that's my own internal demon? Not sure….