Caveat: The Shortcomings

I worked a second day today as a substitute at Craig Elementary School.

Today, I was a librarian.

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I even figured out how to check-in and check-out books, using their computer…. Even though the computer was a Mac, which I normally wouldn’t touch for questions of philosophical purity.

I had a bit of a breakthrough realization about this new work context: in terms of enrollment, Craig Elementary is actually smaller than Karma Academy (where I was teaching in Korea). They are not strictly comparable, of course – the latter being a private specialty school, not a public school. But in terms of the number of kids that I actually have to know, it’s a pertinent observation.

Being a substitute librarian is easier than the kindergarten gig I had on Monday. Well… it’s more laid back, anyway. Still, I got to see the kindergarteners again. And one of the kids said a very “Craig, Alaska” thing as part of a general review of my job qualifications: “You’re not bad as a substitute. You’re funny. But your face-hair is too short.”

That comment needs some explanation. I noticed that most men in Craig have beards. That’s one reason I made a passing effort at letting one grow on my face last fall and over Christmas. More notably, all the male teachers at Craig Elementary appear to have beards. So the child was just pointing out the obvious: though I might seem qualified to be a substitute teacher, I clearly had obvious shortcomings, because really I didn’t look quite right.

Caveat: Sub Sub

I went to work today.

It was the first time since I quit working at Karma last July that I’ve gone to work, or gone into a classroom.

The kindergarten teacher at Craig Elementary was sick. And it seemed like the normal person who does substitute teaching was also sick. She came and gave a bit of orientation, the first hour or so, and then left. And there was a teacher’s aide, who was essentially promoted to be the main teacher, and more or less knew what was going on. And I was the temporary teacher’s aide, along with some other helpers.

Spending 6 hours with kindergarteners is quite a bit of work. And I didn’t really know my way around the school – so it was orientation by fire. Typical in Korea, perhaps less typical in the US, but this is a small town, a small district… so I had actually somewhat assumed this is how it would go.

It was fun. I hope I made a good impression. Actually I feel confident I did fine with the kids – but they’re not the constituency I need to impress, rather, the other teachers. We shall see. I did manage at least to have learned the kids’ names by the end of the day. I felt positive about that. And I solved a three way power struggle between three girls who were fighting over a doll. I think the other teacher was somewhat surprised at my success, there – she had shrugged and said it seemed to be an unsolvable situation and was just intent on keeping them separate.

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Caveat: So glad I’m not in school

I like this song, sorta, but mostly I like the video. It’s cute and well-done and matches the song well.

What I’m listening to right now.

Nizlopi, “JCB Song.”

Lyrics.

Well, I'm rumblin' in this JCB
I'm 5 years old and my dad's giant sitting beside me
And the engine rattles my bum like berserk
While we're singin, "Don't forget your shovel if you want to go to work!"
My dad's totally had a bloody hard day
But he's been good fun and bubblin and jokin' away
And the procession of cars stuck behind
Are gettin all impatient and angry, but we dont mind
An' we're holdin up the bypass
Oh
Me and my dad havin a top laugh
Oh woah
Sittin on the toolbox
Oh
And I'm so glad I'm not in school, boss
So glad I'm not in school
Oh no...
And we pull over to let the cars pass
And pull off again, speedin by the summer green grass
And we're like giants up here in our big yellow digger
Like zoids, or transformers, or maybe even bigger
And I wanna transform into a Tyrannosaurus Rex!
And eat up all the bullies and the teachers and their pets
And I'll tell em I'm 8, my dad's ba barakas
Only with a JCB and Bruce Lee's nunchuckas
And we're holdin up the bypass
Oh
Me and my dad havin' a top laugh
Oh woah
Sittin' on the toolbox
Oh
And I'm so glad I'm not in school, boss
So glad I'm not in school
And we're holdin' up the bypass
Oh oh
Me and my dad havin' a top laugh
Oh woah
I'm sittin on the toolbox
Oh oh
And I'm so glad I'm not in school box
So glad I'm not in school
-
Said I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.
I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.
I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.
I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round
And we're holdin' up the bypass
Woah
Me and my dad havin' a top laugh
Oh woah
And I'm sittin' on the toolbox
Oh
And I'm so glad I'm not in school box
So glad I'm not in school
Aw, said
I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.
I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his
Aw, I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.
I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.

Caveat: My almost brother

I call Eugene my “almost” brother. He was an exchange student from Kazakhstan in the early 1990s, living with my dad and stepmother in Southern California, at the time when my brother Andrew was a teenager.

Eugene has been a member of my extended family ever since, even though I haven’t seen him much (I mean, the same could apply to many of my actual relatives, too).

His wife and he live in Minnesota, here, and have two amazing children. I was happy to meet them. I drove out to their house for dinner this evening. We took a selfie at the dinner table. It’s not a great photo, but it managed to include all of us, despite its blurriness.

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Since Eugene speaks Russian, natively, and his wife Marisol grew up as a native Spanish-speaker in Los Angeles, they made the decision to raise their children trilingually. It’s quite spectacular to see a 4 year old switching seamlessly between English, Spanish and Russian. The fact that I’m fluent in two of those and able to at least vaguely understand the third (from my two years of college Russian), I had fun switching along with her.

All parents who can should give the gift of multilingualism to their children.

Unrelatedly, earlier, I took another long walk at the big park south of Mark and Amy’s house. I took some pictures. They seem a bit monotonous, I’m sure, but I never tire of the winter landscape here.

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I saw a frozen stream.

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I saw long shadows.

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This is Jensen Lake. A good Minnesota name.

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The lake has an island.

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I found an unexpected shrine beside the trail.

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I saw a hillside beetling into the lake.

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[daily log: walking, 5km]

Caveat: Student Goodbyes, Part 3

The last two days have been busy with various medical appointments for Arthur, my uncle, but I took some time to get the last of my "student goodbyes" organized. These are just scans of papers they made for me – unlike with the "yearbook" I posted in the last set, these were done at my request, which I felt more-or-less okay about doing with the younger students.

The youngest just made pictures. The next older cohorts made messages, often in Korean, while the oldest would sometimes write in English.

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[daily log: walking, 4km; driving, 70km]

Caveat: Student Goodbyes, Part 2

Here are some more goodbye messages I have received from students. It being currently 4 AM in Oregon, and feeling wide awake from jetlag, I decided to make this post.

Firstly, my student Jun Hui, 7th grade, gave me this painting. She painted it from a photo on my blog, here.

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My coworker Grace created this "yearbook" with her students. It's quite amazing and beautiful. Grace managed to do this without me being aware that it was being worked on – she was good at getting all the kids to keep the secret of its creation.

On the front cover is "See you later alligator" and on the back cover is "In a while crocodile." 

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There were many envelopes and other goodbyes handed to me, too. I've put these into the yearbook.

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My student Shelley created some paper flowers. Inside, was a secret note that explained how all the students were making letters for me. She had to keep the secret, see, but she had to tell, so she made a note and put it in the flowers which she would give to me.

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My heart is touched.

I have some scans of some other goodbyes papers I'll post later, in a part 3.

Caveat: Student Goodbyes, Part 1

I didn't make it an official homework assignment, but I told my students I would welcome thoughtful goodbye messages. Mostly the elementary kids wrote on paper, while the middle schoolers wrote me emails.

I will scan the handwritten messages tomorrow and maybe post them once I get to Oregon. For today, here are some of my older students' typed messages. I place them here unedited in any way. I can only say that I am deeply touched by all these messages, and I will miss these students greatly.

지은

 

My Dearest Friend Jared

Hi, Jieun – Joy – Park Daegi is writing this letter.

I sincerely cannot believe where you are going tomorrow. I’m very sorry to say good bye to you. But I also know that you have to be, you must be, should be happy despite of your living area. And you will be, too. You are the one of the best teachers I have ever met. Jared, You taught me so many valuable things including English skills. Speaking, Writing, Listening, Comprehensive Class, and all the kinds of games, – such as Mafias, Beans, Board, Taro – I will never forget what you gave me. In the moment of writing these sentences, I feel like I’m gonna cry a little, thinking about the past (with you). Maybe, …I remember when I first met you in 2012. Even though I did not know much about you, I felt comfortable and I liked you a lot. (Still I do.) You are like my father, and sometimes you are like my best friend. I really like the way you are and respect you as a great teacher. Whenever I have a talk with you, it is fresh, new, and fun. You are highly helpful person to me. You respect me as a human. So I’m gonna respect your every decision. This flight is by your own decision, and I respect it without saying a complaint. You are estimable. Except me, all of your friends would think like that. The person who made my dream is you. Jared affected me very much. From now on, I am going to learn Spanish and Latin, sometimes Japanese to realize my hopes. I would love to write stories, I love talking with ‘my’ people. When I am more than 20 years old, I want to be a writer who writes essays, novels, and plays. I want to be a linguist as I told you. I want to be counselor for young wandering children. I want to be a linguistic professor. One thing is indisputable. Even if I do not realize those dreams, I am sure I must be happy anyway.

There are still many words to convey, but I cut it out because there are also many letters to write later.

Just remember you will do well. The road you take would be the best way for you. Take care. Will miss you a lot. Will often write a letter when I feel relaxed. God Always Blesses You, haha.

 

Thank you again for all you have done.

To. 왜 저래 쌤, Jared, Mr. Way, Jared Way, Jared Owen Way, My honorable teacher

From. 지은(2003.10.03.)

2018.07.20 on a sweltering Summer day in front of my black laptop

수민

Jared. I'm Su Min. Wow, you are leaving ? I can't beileve it. I think it was so short time for us to share our episodes. I can have so interesting informations from your class. Thank you. I always expected to get fresh stories in Toefl class. It was really fun. I wish you had feel how concentrated I am. I can remember El Nino and la nina. Of course I can't understand yet. I only know that it is the climate changes that give negetive effects when temperature is stop by 10 years … bla bla Whatever, good information. I am exactly surprised when you can explain everything about any topics and I haven't heard you are yelling. I really respect about that points.^!^ You are my role model. I love teps listening because I like your style. Thank you for making interest in teps listening even if it was hard.  In addition, I really want to thank you that you are always confident about me. Believe it or not, I felt in my heart. I wish this is true! I built confidence because of you. Thank you. I'm afraid that I can't speak with you, so I can't get awesome stories. I felt I gradually hear what you are speaking and now I can understand excatly 98.3%, because 1.7% is my vocabulary skill. See~~ I get confident in this section. My strength is listening!! Thank you for being my best teacher. Oh! you said I have to write Who I am and Why You should remember me. Okay, Don't forget me Jared. I can't forget you either. And you should remember me because I'm the student who likes your class most. I have seen many foreign teachers for 10 years. However, you are my best. You should be proud of this. ^^ I think Every students will think like me. I will work hard and of course I will get in touch with my curious questions. I will expect incredible reply. Please be healthy. And be happy. I will miss you and your greeting, Hi alligators~! Are you ready for fun English?~~ (Is that right?)  What ever, Thank you so much Jared. Thank you.

소연

Here we go

 

Um…This kind of thing is so shy….

 

When I first saw you, I wanted to go out. I mean really!! You were too scary to me. But later, when I read a book with you, I started to think that you are not scary. And the next day, I became the top student. At that time, I have never been to an academy I just studied alone so it was hard to do homework or memorize words. Bu t because it was easy for me, I started to do homework in Karma. Of course, it was a wrong choice. When I went to honors the homework was too hard for me to do it. Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going to Alaska. I'm still a little bit sad. But if you don't forget me, I won't forget you either. We really had a long time with each other. When I was in honors, a teacher came instead of you. It was really boring. I didn't have anything to eat. Oh, never mind. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I wish you to be healthy wherever you go. You were a nice teacher. It isn't 300words but I did my best. I really wish that we can keep in touch and visit Korea someday. OK, I think this is real goodbye. Bye!! -from your lovely student who wrote your last essay, soyeon-

 

은별

 

Hi, I am Olivia.🙂

I am very surprised to hear the news that you leave Korea. To be honest, I am very sad that I have to say "Good bye"to you. To tell the truth,you are the first native English teacher I have ever met. And I have studied with you in Karma since last December. First, I could not speak English very well. But after I met you, I practiced speaking more. So my speaking skill became better than that time.  Your explanations and own stories helped me very much. Oh I think also my listening skill became better. Now I can concentrate on what others are saying in English too. I think I could not became better without your help.

 

And I also feel sorry for you because,I did my best but I could not write my essay well.(This means homework..haha) But you told me how to write essay correctly. From then on, I am practicing writing essay correctly.. I think I would be better more and more if I practice many times.

 

You also helped me adapt to Karma. Your classes and games helped me to get along with my good friends. And your story and joke  always made us to have fun. (Like 'Jamesfied'..) You made classes fun!

I do not know other people's opinions, but I think your class is the most fun. So I always waited for your listening,speaking,writing class.

 

You were very good teacher for us. You have many knowledge and experience, so we could learn about culture of the world, what the tornado is, why did the water dried on some river,..more than that. So I am very sorry that you are leaving. But I will keep in touch with you after you leave Korea!!

 

From. Olivia

준희

 

Hi, Jared teacher. I'm June.

You must go U.S.A. Your uncle is sick. When I was six grade, I met you.  I was nervous when my foreign teacher was not familiar. But my teacher is really good, so I think I enjoyed my class. It was good that you always teach me a lot, but I feel bad because you go to America. I had a class with you for 7 months after I came to middle school. It was so fun! I don't want you to go, but I have to go because someone like your father is sick. Teacher must be sad because uncle is sick. I don't know when you will come to America, but you can contact me! I still don't know who I'll be with if you go to the States. I wish I could be an interesting person like you. Teacher, if anything happens, I'll listen to your advice. I'll think you're going, but it's next to you. I will get along well in my school life, so I want you to get along. Take good care of your uncle, too. I will also pray so that the disease doesn't get worse. Of course, you should take care of your health. I will stay healthy, too. Let's meet in good health the next time we meet. Teacher! Then you should always be healthy. Then I'll write it down to here. Goodbye! See you later.

승훈

 

Hello, Jared teacher. I am writing this letter because you will come back to the United States of America. I met you when I was in 5th grade. And you are always seem happy. When I listened you will come back to the United States of America? I was little bit sad. You always kind to everybody. When I was in the Newton1 class? I played many games with you. It was very fun. I want to play that many games with you again and again. But you will come back to the America because you’re uncle is sick. I do not have that experience. But I empathize your situation. You said that your uncle is like second father. That means you need him and he loves you. So maybe I think your uncle is very important in your life. So if I am in your situation, I will do like you. I will pray your uncle is not sick. If you have some times in the United States of America? I believe you will check the E-mail. If I have some problems, then Can I send you E-mail? It was a very good time. Time is very fast. As I said, I met you when I was 12 years old. It is just 2 years. I want to see you everyday. I am happy to go to the Karma. Because there are many teachers like you. I think you are very kind. Lastly, If you want to come to Korea? Then come to Korea. Maybe there are a lot of memories. Bye bye teacher. I will pray for your uncle.

 

-Toby

 

지윤

 

Dear Jared

 

Hi teacher!! It's Julie. It is really sad that I can not see you anymore.

Beacause you taught me hard from when I did not know alphabet until I was in the highest class now.

I learn a lot thanks to you. Such as history and how to talk with foreign well. Also you make me love English.

Thank you. Actually I was young,  I was scared when I saw you.

That is because you were the first foreigner I saw.

It is mean you were my first foreign teacher. But now, you are my favorite teacher><

Please stay healthy and happy when you go to America.

And do not forget me. I will not forget you, either.

I want to keep communicating with you.

Will you help me even if you are in America?

Please contact me if you come Korea again.

I want to see you until I'll become adult.

Bye teacher. You are very good teacher to me.

 

재연

 

To Jared teacher

 

Teacher I'm great students James. I'm so sad when I hear the news about you have to go to USA. I'm so happy when you teach our class. I have seen you for two years. I remember the first time when we met. I was in 6 grade, and I was in newton 1 class. There was Ray,me,Toby,Harry,Eric. However, now there is only Harry,Toby, and me. I learned writing,listening, speaking from you for 2 years. and my English is more improved. I want talk about your personality. Jared teacher, you have very special personality. I envy your personality. You have very good personality, because your personality can make many friends. I think you are very funny and very kind. Also, I want ask some questions for you. I wonder why you pick Korea about your job. Maybe you like Korea, but I want your answer. If you have time, please answer me. Korea is not famous country, and I wonder how can you know Korea and why you move to the Korea. Also, I think Korea's food is spicier than other country's. How about your first Korean style spicy food? Also what's the food? Our class wants to buy you a very spicy food. That name is stir-fried Rice Cake. If you want eat that, We'll buy that. I'm so sad because I met you only two years. If I come Karma early, and I could met you for 3~5 years. I want you don't forget me, and my classmate. Our class is very noise but our class always like you, so don't forget us. I'll call you after 3 months with my classmate. So please don't forget me……

 

By great student James.

 

준서

 

Hello Jared, I am Jun Seo. I think you will be one of the best teacher in my mind. Because of you, I learned a lot of things. I had a very good time with you and I hope that the time we were together will be the best memory in your mind. I know that you will lose many things if you go to the U.S.A. The first time you said that to us. I was very sorry to heard that. After that, I am trying not to forget you forever, because you were the first teacher who made me laugh and it was very impressived. The first time we met in the Academy, I always looked you very strangely. However, oneday I realized that you are very kind to me and my classmates, so I became a person who do not look you strangely. You know, you are the best teacher that I have seen in the Karma Academy. When you teach our class, I thought that the time we had was only 20 minutes, but it was about 45 minutes. All the time you said to us, and all the time you teach us about something, and all the time you play with us were always fun for me, and I am very sad that we have only two weeks to see each other in HS-1 class. I will miss you and other students like Julie, Toby, Andy, James, Olivia, Linda, Harry, Kevin, Junes, and so on will miss you, too. I am very sorry that I have no present for you. You gave us a lot of information and a lot of present, but I have no present for you. I am really sorry for that, because I do not even know that you will leave this country in a month, and I am busy these days, so I can not give you a present. Thank you for everything, and I hope you to see me someday.

규민

Hello teacher I'm 규민

I'm sorry to hear that you will go Alaska.we will miss you so much.

Thank you for teaching us until now.You are my the best teacher.

I want you to come back to see us.We never don't forget you.

GOOD

B B B B B B B B Y Y E E E E E E E E E E EE E E E

B B Y Y E

B B Y Y E

B B Y Y E

B B Y Y E

B B Y Y E

B B B B B B B B B Y Y E

B B Y Y E

B B Y Y E E E E E E E E E E E E E E

B B Y Y E

B B Y E

B B Y E

B B Y E

B B Y E

B B B B B B B Y E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E

승민

Hello, Jared. I'm 승민 I'm sorry to hear that you will move. 🙁 I've met you since I was 12. You were a good teacher for me and your listening class was always fun. My listening skills became better thanks to you. All the moments with you were meaningful and fun. I hope you will come back.^^

ㅏ ㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷ

ㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈㅈ ㅔ ㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹ ㅏ ㄷ

ㅈ ㅔ ㄹ ㅏ ㄷ

ㅈ ㅈ ㅔㅔㅔㅔㅔ ㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹ ㅏㅏㅏ ㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷ

ㅈ ㅈ ㅔ ㄹ ㅏ

ㅈ ㅈ ㅔ ㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹㄹ ㅏ ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

민재

To. Teacher Jared Way
Hello. I'm Min Jae Kim. Thank you for teaching about listening. I hope your uncle health become healthy. Also I hope I meet you again before I quit Karma. Finally I'm so glad to meet you. If you come back Karma, I will welcome you so so so much. I'll miss you so much.
By. Min jae

 

찬희

Teacher, We will miss you so much. I will not forget you. So please don't forget us. I'm really sad when I heard about you go Alaska. I hope that sometime we see again.

소현

Hi, teacher.

I came to Karma Academy late and did not see you much. You said your uncle is very sick. When I heard that, I'm very sad.

We have a short time with each other but I will miss you. Bye.

 

성연

hello i am 성연

i entered this academy 2 months ago.

we have few classes and i"m so sad that i have to say goodbye.

but i was very happy because i had a nice class with a nice teacher.

i won't forget you if this is the last time.

appreciate to you for giving me a nice time

 

[daily log: walking, 9.0km; carrying heavy box to post office, 0.5km]

Caveat: Farewell Dinner with the Keum Clan

My friend and boss, Mr Keum (Curt) and some of his extended family invited me to dinner last night.

We went to a place we've gone before – in fact, I went there with my mom and Curt's family in 2013.

We had dinner of 칼국수 and then coffee and dessert afterward.

Here's where we went.

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Here are the 4 kids (well, 2 kids, 2 teenagers) along with the food we were eating. They are two sets of siblings: two older cousins on the right, Nayun and Dayeon, and two younger cousins on the left, Doyeon and Baegang – each pair of siblings facing each other. I have taught ALL 4 of these children for many years. They are all smart. The oldest, Nayun, in the purple tshirt, I have known since 2007 when she was 5 years old, and the youngest, the only boy, Baegang, I saw as a newborn infant.

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In this last picture – this is the entire group. Curt and his brother, each of their wives and kids. Everyone kind of mixed together.

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I will miss all of them. They have all been very generous with me.

[daily log: walking, 7.5km; carrying heavy box to post office, 0.5km]

Caveat: I’m an apostrophe

As mentioned before, we have this thing at Karma called "CC" class – a somewhat opaque name for what are essentially focused listening exercises using English-language pop songs. Mostly, these days, I can proudly say that my initiative to have the students prepare and present their own choices of songs has gone quite well, and 90% of the time, the students do their homework and they lead the class. I love sitting in a class where the students are leading, and even using English fairly successfully to manage the class.

But sometimes a student forgets his or her homework, or some miscommunication causes there not to be a prepared song for a given class. So I have some "backup" songs prepared. One of the "CC" songs that I've been using for this is "Whatever It Takes," by the group Imagine Dragons. Like many of the CC pop songs, I was fairly neutral about the song at first, but with repeated careful listenings and presentations of the song, it's grown on me.

Last Saturday, I presented the song to my HS2-T cohort, because they were returning from their month-long "naesin" hiatus and the song that the student had prepared was one it turned out we'd done before. As usual, I was deeply impressed with these students' amazing listening skills, quickly identifying missing words in the Cloze passage of the song that even I struggled to hear. So we made our way through the song.

As we wrapped up the class, I told the students that I'd grown to like the song. 

One of the girls asked, "Why do you like it?"

In fact, I couldn't think of a reason. But I always have to say something, right? That's what I'm known for, and that's my reputation: Jared always has some opinion on anything, and he'll present his reasons in little coherent, organized paragraphs, like a good debate teacher should, right?

So I had to think fast on my feet. Offhandedly, I said, "Because the song has lots of long words in it." This is more or less true. It does have some unexpectedly sesquipedalian vocabulary, which the singer rattles off in rock-rap style quite amazingly.

"For example," I added, spontaneously, "it has the word apostrophe.  I never heard a song with the word apostrophe in it, before." This is true, as far as it goes. But then I elaborated, "'Apostrophe' is one of my favorite words." That was pure confabulation, but it supported my argument with a subjective, emotional appeal. Anyway, it satisfied the girl's request for a reason why I liked the song. 

But then the girls started saying, "Apostrophe, apostrophe," over and over. "Is that good entertainment for you?" one asked.

Indeed. Good entertainment.


What I'm listening to right now.

Imagine Dragons, "Whatever It Takes."

Lyrics.

Falling too fast to prepare for this
Tripping in the world could be dangerous
Everybody circling, it's vulturous
Negative, nepotist
Everybody waiting for the fall of man
Everybody praying for the end of times
Everybody hoping they could be the one
I was born to run, I was born for this
Whip, whip
Run me like a racehorse
Pull me like a ripcord
Break me down and build me up
I wanna be the slip, slip
Word upon your lip, lip
Letter that you rip, rip
Break me down and build me up
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top I'm ready for
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes
Always had a fear of being typical
Looking at my body feeling miserable
Always hanging on to the visual
I wanna be invisible
Looking at my years like a martyrdom
Everybody needs to be a part of 'em
Never be enough, I'm the prodigal son
I was born to run, I was born for this
Whip, whip
Run me like a racehorse
Pull me like a ripcord
Break me down and build me up
I wanna be the slip, slip
Word upon your lip, lip
Letter that you rip, rip
Break me down and build me up
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top, I'm ready for
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes
Hypocritical, egotistical
Don't wanna be the parenthetical, hypothetical
Working onto something that I'm proud of, out of the box
An epoxy to the world and the vision we've lost
I'm an apostrophe
I'm just a symbol to remind you that there's more to see
I'm just a product of the system, a catastrophe
And yet a masterpiece, and yet I'm half-diseased
And when I am deceased
At least I go down to the grave and die happily
Leave the body and my soul to be a part of thee
I do what it takes
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top, I'm ready for
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes

[daily log: walking, 7.5km; carrying heavy box to post office, 0.5km]

Caveat: on the desirability (or not) of movement

I have a student named N__. Because the current "test prep period" for middle schoolers (colloquially called "내신") is just now ending, a lot of students are still absent, so much to N__'s dismay, she found herself stuck with me in a class where she was the only student present. I know this is unpleasant and awkward for typical teenagers of any nationality: getting stuck in an impromptu one-on-one class with a teacher.

When this happens with an advanced-level middle-schooler, I pull out my pile of randomized Type 1 and Type 2 TOEFL Speaking questions, which hinge on personal opinions and preferences, and I subject the victim to an onslaught of timed, unprepared speaking drills.

N__ was quite reluctant at first, but I shortly realized that despite her being a fairly recent arrival at Karma, she'd obviously done TOEFL style speaking drills before – she was quite competent even relative to her peers who have had to suffer my insistence on this method for several years. Further, although lacking much vocabulary and having rather poor pronunciation, she had a good instinct for making instant, logical, meaningful answers. She even introduced quite a bit of humor at several points.

One question was something along the lines of "What is your favorite season?" Without pause, she simply said:

"Argh! I hate ALL of them!" 

And then she said nothing more. That was sufficient, as far as she was concerned. She folded her arms to punctuate her point.

My favorite was with a question that went as follows:

What is your favorite way of getting around? (This question is meant to evoke responses on the topic of means of daily transportation, e.g. cars vs buses vs walking vs biking, etc.).

N__ asked me for clarification on the exact meaning of the question, nodded her head twice, and then, without missing a beat, immediately began:

"In fact, I don't much like moving at all. I would prefer to just sit at home… "

I broke out laughing, which broke her concentration, so she wasn't able to give more detail. I'm sure this pleased her.

In her several months at Karma, I'd already developed an idea of her personality as one of those laconic, can't-be-bothered teenagers, and here she was showing a full self-awareness and even some humorous intentionality to this image she projected.

By the end of class, she was less sleepy-eyed and more comfortable – I think my positive feedback on her pragmatically appropriate answers, regardless of their official TOEFL quality, helped her feel more confident.


What I'm listening to right now.

Arnold Schoenberg, "String Quartet No. 4" performed by LaSalle Quartet.

[daily log: walking, 7.5km]

Caveat: well, whatever

Now that I have made my departure announcement "official" – by telling my students in my classes – and even putting it on facebook – I have to confront the ways people deal with the news.

It's interesting seeing different student reactions to the news.

Of course some students are clearly sad. And although that's sad to see, at least it also shows me that they have some attachment to me, which is gratifying for my ego, right?

In fact, the student reactions that most depress me are the reactions of shrugging indifference, often from students I have known for quite a long time. Certainly, there are cases where the student's reaction is a sort of emotional self-protection, a refusal to admit outward interest, and their actual feelings remain opaque. But there are clearly other cases where it's just simply that, for all that I was a part of a student's life for 2 or 3 or 4 years, I just don't mean that much to them. And I guess that's OK, too. Nevertheless, there can be noticeable asymmetries in these feelings – which is only to say, some of these indifferent students, I will miss a great deal.

The other day a student said to the news, simply, "well, whatever," and rolled her eyes.

[daily log: walking, 7.5km; carrying heavy box to post office, 0.5km]

Caveat: Today’s announcement

My sixth-grade student Seoeun raised her hand, yesterday, as if she had an urgent announcement.

"Yes?" I prompted.

"Today is today," she said gravely, and without hesitation. It was clearly something she'd planned out in her head, as one does when working in a foreign language.

"Um, yes," I agreed. "Why are you telling me?"

"그냥" [geunyang = just because], she offered, shrugging.

"OK, good to know," I said. And we moved on.

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: The best part of my family is…

We were doing short-speech responses to speaking questions. The question was, "Do you like your family, or not? What are the best and worst parts of your family?"

6th grader Jaehyeon, incorporating a very long pause as he groped for a possible answer, said, "The best part of my family is… me!"

"I see," I said, mildly amused. "So, what's the worst part of your family, then?" I prompted.

"The worst part is… not me. The other ones."

At that, I laughed. At least he was being consistent.


What I'm listening to right now.

Imagine Dragons, "Believer." This was a song recently chosen by one of my students for a CC class. It's grown on me, as tends to happen when I teach a song to several classes over as many days. I like how it's structured like a good debate speech: "First things first… second things second," etc. I pointed this out to the students and they just groaned. 

Lyrics.

First things first
I'ma say all the words inside my head
I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh ooh
The way that things have been, oh ooh
Second thing second
Don't you tell me what you think that I can be
I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh ooh
The master of my sea, oh ooh
I was broken from a young age
Taking my sulking to the masses
Write down my poems for the few
That looked at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heartache from the pain
Taking my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through the … pain
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Third things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you've heard has turned your spirit to a dove, oh ooh
Your spirit up above, oh ooh
I was choking in the crowd
Building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
'Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like … pain
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins, oh ooh
The blood in my veins, oh ooh
But they never did, ever lived, ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
'Til it broke up and it rained down
It rained down, like … pain
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
(Pain, pain)
You break me down, you built me up, believer, believer
(Pain)
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life, my love, my drive, it came from
(Pain)
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer

[daily log: walking, 7.5km]

Caveat: A man who wears many hats

Today is the big show. It'll be a long day, but the end is in sight. The results will be what they are, and there's not much left to be done except just do the show.

Last night my student Gary, a third grader in one of the lower level classes, was putting in extra time preparing his role. He's kind of the main character for the particular little play that we're doing in that group, and as all the teachers have complained to me, the play is a bit difficult for their level. So he has a lot of English to memorize, and it's quite a bit beyond his level. In my defense, the students did choose the skit themselves, after having read through it and several easier choices several times. So they had some idea what they were getting into.

Gary was feeling pleased with himself because he'd managed to get it pretty well mastered. So he took ALL the animal hats that we are using as costumes for the skit and put them ALL on his head. 

I asked him if that meant he intended to memorize all the other roles, too. He quickly removed the hats, but not before I took a picture.

picture

Wish us luck.

[daily log: walking, 8km]

Caveat: not such tall tales

"You know, it's just not right." – Yeoeun said, looking over at me wryly and shaking her head disconsolately. She put her hands on her hips, for emphasis. She's an 8th grade girl, who was standing and looking up at several 5th grade boys who towered over her in the hallway.

[daily log: walking, 5km]

Caveat: 웃음조절장애

Sometimes my middle school students talk to me in Korean, even though they’re perfectly capable of expressing themselves in English. Partly, this is to indicate a different pragmatics: it shifts control of the discourse from me to them, since I’m the one with limited Korean ability. I think they derive some satisfaction from that. So, especially during times of just chatting or joking around, they’ll start talking in Korean, but still talking to me. This is remarkable, because half the time I don’t understand them, but I fake it pretty well, and I guess they enjoy the notion that they’re “teaching” me, too.

On Friday night, some girls in my HS2M cohort had the giggles. Well, certain types of 8th grade girls often have the giggles. I said, somewhat jokingly, “Are you going to stop laughing? Ever?”

One girl, Gayeong, said, painting a serious face for just a very short time, “But, Teacher! I have 웃음조절장애!”.

I laughed pretty hard. “웃음조절장애” means, roughly, “Laughter control disability” – with the same formal or vaguely medicalized discourse level. It’s the way a Korean child psychologist might talk about it, if it were considered an actual disability. So it was a joke.

I’ll have to remember the experession.

[daily log: walking, 1km]

Caveat: What about alcohol?

Here is the Korean zeitgeist, as revealed in an offhanded comment by a sixth-grade girl who goes by Mindy:

Sometimes alcohol is necessary.

She said it in a chipper voice, as if conversationally stating the obvious. That would sum up the Korean perspective, easily enough.

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: Thealligu +or wins

My 5th grade student John recently started at Karma. He has never studied English before, so in the context of Korean English education, he's a rather "late starter." It's hard to place him at a place like Karma, because classes at his grade level don't really have "beginner status". Still, I was very proud when he produced the following comic during an exercise in class. He carefully asked (in Korean) how to say each thing in English, and I wrote the translations on the board. Then he copied the letters (he hasn't even mastered the alphabet) into his comic. I thought his characters (an imitation of my alligator character, along with some lion character he created), while quite rudimentary, were cute, too. He might have some artistic talent, anyway.

picture

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: passing the buck

A 5th grade boy in a low-level class with other 5th grade boys managed a rather sophisticated exchange with me the other day.

The exchange began when I asked, "Are you ready, Mark?"

"Teacher, sorry. No," Mark complained.

I said, "You were supposed to memorize it. It's your turn."

Mark said, "Not ready." Gesturing with exaggerated politeness across the classroom at a classmate, he added, obsequiously, "John memorized very well."

John, being shy, made a look of alarm and grim consternation.

"Nice try, Mark," I laughed. "Close your book. Three, two, one… go! Start talking."

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: the evolution of feeling

Soyeon spoke to me today, after class ended. It had been one of the "CC" classes where I make the advanced middle-schoolers "teach" the class after preparing the materials, and I'd complimented her on having done a good job. She had. She's a natural teacher, maybe. And her spoken English, despite her twisted morass of underlying grammar problems, comes off as well-accented and mostly quite idiomatic.

She announced, somewhat proudly, "A boy asked me out yesterday."

Soyeon's in the seventh grade. I don't quite know what the typical "growing up" trajectory of a Korean teenager is like, but Soyeon far from typical. She is the most "American" Korean child I have ever known. I don't know how she got that way – she's never lived abroad and in fact has never visited an English-speaking country as far as I know. The closest she's gotten, I think, have been a few short trips to Thailand and Malaysia. I only mention that by way of saying that for all I know she's not particularly typical among her peers, but rather seems to be following a more Western route through adolescence, in which dating in middle school, if not universal, is certainly not viewed as unprecedented. I expect the more traditional Korean household would have none of this. But this is a society in rapid cultural transition, as usual, and individual families occupy quite distinct subcultures despite the broader homogeneity. Some families are utterly westernized, while others hove to a more traditionalist, even Confucian line.

Anyway, that's just background. I felt flattered that she offered this piece of news to me. It's demonstrative of a kind of trust. I've been her teacher for 4 years now, so I guess it's somewhat to be expected.

I said to her, "That's great. Do you like him?"

She nodded, and added, "He liked me."

"Liked you? Why do you say it in past tense? What happened?"

I was, pragmatically, wondering if this was grammatical mistake. Hence my question. But I was quite wrong. She demonstrated this, after a disproportionate delay in answering.

She looked at me slyly, and said, "Nothing happened. He liked me…." Another too-long pause. "Now he loves me." And an emphatic shrug, for punctuation.

Ah. It was a joke.

"Well that's fast," I said, as neutrally as possible.

"Uh huh," she said, with a near native-English-speaking teenage tonality. And walked away, playing some game on her smartphone.

[daily log: walking, 7.5km]