Caveat: Best Sports Video Ever

I don’t really follow sports. But this was very funny.

It reminded me of some of the weird sports I used to invent with my stepson Jeffrey when he was young.

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Caveat: FORTRAN to the 2020’s and beyond

I associate the FORTRAN computer programming language with the 1980’s. It was already looking a bit long in the tooth when Michelle took a course on it at Univ of Minnesota in the mid 1990’s (and where I dipped my hand in it, because… well, Michelle and I did a lot of things together). It was still being used for business and scientific applications.

Apparently some guy has written a modern website controller in FORTRAN. So he can run his website. That’s interesting.
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Caveat: Local Bus Odyssey Across Britain

Mostly I don’t like it when people attempt “essays” or long-form journalism on twitter. It just doesn’t work, jumping from short little message to short little message. It’s a very constrained medium to develop any kind of narrative. But this morning I ran across what I felt was very good use of the medium.

Some guy in Britain decided to see how far he could go in 24 hours traveling by only city / local buses. No coaches, no trains, no anything but local bus routes. He started at Charing Cross, in the center of London, at 3 AM, and made his way, local bus by local bus, up the Island of Great Britain, tweeting all the way. Mostly it reads as a kind of “city and town bus stations of England” travelogue. I’m waiting for the coffee-table book.

He made it as far as Morecambe (a beach town just outside Lancaster) in the middle of the following night. The people following the story had been hoping he’d make it to Scotland – but he fell quite a ways short of that.

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Caveat: the clockwork programmer

The field of computer programming is not immune from the coming automation-of-everything.

In this video, some guys demonstrate the current state-of-the-art in computer programs that are able to write computer programs. Which sounds weird and tautological. But it’s kind of cool to watch.

At the end, they use their computer programming computer program to use Microsoft Word, which long ago became too complicated for humans to use effectively anyway. So now… they have made a program that can operate Microsoft Word in response to your instructions. Progress!

This quote is relevant, and I like it a lot, by one of my favorite contemporary bloggers:

“Computers are just going to get better and better at stuff, and at some point probably they’ll be as good as humans at various things, and if you ask them if they’re self-aware they’ll give some answer consistent with their programming, which for all I know is what we do too.” – Scott Alexander

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Caveat: with the psychotic handmaiden or her florence nightingale

I often receive spam comments on my blog. Mostly I simply delete them. Sometimes, though, they seem to constitute a kind of “found poetry.” Clearly the text below is generated by one of the many text-generating engines that now exist, “trained on” data from recent news and such. It’s nonsense, but with embedded fragments weirdly compelling, unexpected juxtapositions of words, perhaps.

A month ago, when a 37-year-old unimpassioned of a Singapore boarding secondary consequential teach in charge of people with mentally miserable disorders was diagnosed with a coronavirus, the authority of the structuring did not pull together a panic. Fascinating into account the specifics of the settlement, all its shillelagh and most of the fine haleness inhabitants were vaccinated against Covid-19 as being at danger subvene in February-March. However, just in shield, the boarding devotees was closed to secure quarantine, and all employees, patients and other people who recently communicated with the psychotic handmaiden or her florence nightingale were quarantined and began to be regularly tested. In excess of the next week, the virus was detected in three dozen people, including the 30-year-old sister from the libretto persist from the Philippines, as genially as four other employees of the boarding midriff group and 26 of its changeless residents. Most of those infected were fully vaccinated against Covid-19… You can imply to another article on this point at this vinculum. There’s something to it. Thank you so much for your help on this issue. I didn’t know that..

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Caveat: λP[λQ[∼∃x[P(x)∧Q(x)]]]

Two jokes.
First joke:

A: I said, λP[λQ[∼∃x[P(x)∧Q(x)]]]

B: Huh?

A: What part of “no” don’t you understand?

(This joke only works if you’ve studied formal modal logic.)

Second joke:

A: What sport do you play with a wombat?

B: Wom.


Lo que escucho ahora.

José José, “El Triste.” Me acuerda de viajes en autobuses de tercera clase en el México rural de los 80.
Letra.

Que triste fue decirnos adios
Cuando nos adorabamos mas
Hasta la golondrina emigro
Presagiando el final

Que triste luce todo sin ti
Los mares de las playas se van
Se tiñen los colores de gris
Hoy todo es soledad

No sé si vuelva a verte despues
No sé que de mi vida será
Sin el lucero azul de tu ser
Que no me alumbra ya

Hoy quiero saborear mi dolor
No pido compasíón ni piedad
La historia de este amor se escribió
Para la eternidad

Que triste todos dicen que soy
Que siempre estoy hablando de ti
No saben que pensando en tu amor
En tu amor

He podido ayudarme a vivir

He podido ayudarme a vivir
Hoy quiero saborear mi dolor
No pido compasíón ni piedad
La historia de este amor se escribió

Para la eternidad
Que triste todos dicen que soy
Que siempre estoy hablando de ti
No saben que pensando en tu amor
En tu amor
He podido ayudarme a vivir
He podido ayudarme a vivir

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Caveat: bowing before the land like heretics

If I Were Called In To Construct
    And I should raise in the east
    A glass of water
                          LARKIN
If I were called in to construct a religion
I would start with opposition.
Pick an established faith, like Larkin's Water,
and attack it as insufficiently aquatic.
I would bewail the drowned
and blame Larkin;
and gather an army and make war
upon the Larkinians,
kill them, seize their Larkwives
and their Larkine.
I would establish the Holy Romarine Empire,
crown my good with brotherhood
from land to shingly land.
Scorch my enemies and parch my friends.
After that comes expansion, missionaries,
elaborate ritual, green-and-purple robes,
High Holy Days to mark the fullest tides.
Then a long period of decline
as theologians bicker over
increasingly crumbling minutiae
and ordinary people live by
a calcified version of the once flowing spirit
(stalactites, coral, ice)
when I will walk the beach, with all the stiffness of age —
as the breakers come and keep coming
bowing before the land like heretics —
and contemplate Mystery, salt and unsustaining.
- Adam Roberts (British author and poet, b. 1965)

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Caveat: Zamza

I read a short story just now, that I enjoyed. It’s… difficult. It’s speculative fiction, of a sort. It reeks of Borges and postmodernism and pays homage to the recent developments in neural-net “artificial intelligence” (GPT-3 – not yet intelligent, but definitely something new and emergent).
Give it a try if you want. This is not a recommendation (in the spirit of the story itself). The link: Tropic of Zamza
Best quote:

Tropic of Zamza is only a book. It contains many words—92,581 of them, to be exact—but it is, mercifully, only a book. Being only a book, it lacks the capacity to physically injure you. You should remind yourself of this fact regularly, in the event that you make the horrible mistake of reading it.

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Caveat: 거울과 닮아있는 듯해

지금 듣고있는 것.

김우성, “You Make Me Back.” The title and main English-language lyric seems to be one of those bits of nonsense English that Korean beginning-level learners of English imbue with deep significance.
가사.

저문 저 하늘에
흐트러진 내가 비쳐 보인다
어쩌면 이 어둠은
거울과 닮아있는 듯해
어지럽게 차오른 호흡들과
흔들리는 모든 세상 속에서
날 부르는 듯
붉은 석양이 떠올라 오네
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
돌아갈 곳 난 없어
기대 쉴 곳 난 없어
그저 어둠 속에 나를 묻어 버릴 때
잿빛 세상을 깨고
날 불러오는
너의 목소리
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
지친 내 발걸음이 혼자 남아
갈 곳을 잃을 때
저문 하늘의 석양처럼 날
불러줘
날 깨워줘
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah
You make me back
woo woo woo woo woo yeah

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Caveat: where to be

I came across this quote.

“The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.” – Marcus Aurelius

Maybe I’ll add it to the column on the right.
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Caveat: what to have at the picnic…

There is a joke about the importance of punctuation in English. It contrasts different meanings that the same words can have with only changes to punctuation:

Let’s eat, Grandma!

Let’s eat Grandma!

Well, Korean has a similar issue, but at the level of spacing between words, which normally is a bit of a gray area in Korean orthography – I have the impression there is a lot of variability in how individuals choose to space things like the case clitic particles – do they attach to their respective nouns or float freely?
But sometimes, spacing can change meanings. Hence this joke in Korean:

아기 다리 고기 다리 던소풍!
agi dari gogi dari deonsopung!
Baby legs, meat legs, dawn picnic!

아 기다리고 기다리던 소풍!
a gidarigo gidarideon sopung!
Ah, I’ve been waiting and waiting for a picnic!

The syllables are all the same. But depending on where you put the spaces between the words, you might or might not eat the baby.


What I’m listening to right now.

우원재, “CASH.”
가사.

Cash, my work and my benz
Now I’m guilty I’m dead
Cash makes you and my pain
But I love it. I’m dead
Cash, my love and my fams
So I love u my dad
Cash loves you and my back
But bitch I hate myself
Cash, my work and my benz
Now I’m guilty I’m dead
Cash makes you and my pain
But I love it. I’m dead
Cash, my love and my fams
So I love u my dad
Cash loves you and my back
But bitch I hate myself
돈 땜에 살어 돈 땜에 죽어
돈 땜에 울어 돈 땜에 헤매
돈 땜에 무려 돈 때론 무력
돈 빼면 무력 돈 땜에 숙여
돈, 돈, 돈, 돈 땜에 두려워
돈이면 돼요 돈 이게 사기템
돈이면 계속 멋지게 살어 damn
돈은 공평한데 때론 차별해 어때
돈을 자비롭지 근데 잔인해 어때
때 때 난 겁이나 법이나 정이나 없대 돈 앞에는
But u stop that 탓 돌리기는 돈 잘못 없대
난 익히 들어 이미 자본에 백기 들어서
여기 털어 먼지 안 나는 사람 없다라고 들었어
나는 get cash
당연히 때 탔지
Oh my god, gash
난 가끔 놀라 많이
나는 get flash
돈은 나빠 마치
우린 돈을 많이 닮아가는 거지
Cash, my work and my benz
Now I’m guilty I’m dead
Cash makes you and my pain
But I love it. I’m dead
Cash, my love and my fams
So I love u my dad
Cash loves you and my back
But bitch I hate myself
Please you be patient
오우 야, 난 참지 못해 그지
멍청한 걸 어쩌라고
Make more money make more cash ya
오우 야, 난 참지 못해 그지
돈이 최고 새꺄 돈 앞에서 부족하지 돈이 나는
오우 야, 난 참지 못해 그지
공평한 게 없다면 난 가져갈게 나의 무길 다시
오우 야, 난 막지 못해 그지
이게 나의 탓이라면 돈에 탓을 물게 대신 다시
Oh I’m bitch
돈의 노예 나는
나는 겉만 번질
속이 썩어 가지 나는
오 아버지
도와줘요 나를 제발
Go set bungy
돈 번 뒤의 모습에
난 죄책감에 절어
Hey cash, where are you from? I don’t know
Hol’up
거짓말이 돈이 되길 빌어 cause we gonna earn
So I love errbody I love it
But bitch I hate myself
Cash, my work and my benz
Now I’m guilty I’m dead
Cash makes you and my pain
But I love it. I’m dead
Cash, my love and my fams
So I love u my dad
Cash loves you and my back
But bitch I hate myself
But bitch I hate myself

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Caveat: Quechua Trap

“Trap” is a sub-genre of hiphop music. This woman in Peru is making Quechua language trap music.

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Caveat: The Blogosphere’s Etymology

A person who goes by Tanadrin posted a fanciful etymology for the word “blogosphere”:

Blogosphera is naturally 1st declension (the medieval form of blogosphaera, from the Greek βλωγοσφαῖρα), blagosphera is actually the neuter plural of the rarely-attested blagospherum, itself derived from the earlier blagospes, “to check a blog in the hopes it has updated in the last five minutes, even though it almost certainly has not.” Blagh is the Umbrian reflex of the Greek βλωγοσ, both ultimately from Indo-European *bʰleh₁-, “to blow, be vapid; to be wrong on the internet.” The oblique form of spes (sper-) was altered by analogy, and the meaning of the plural in question shifted from “checking your list of blogs repeatedly” to “the blogs being checked.” Yet blagosphera remained the subject of plural verbs until the Late Latin period, when it was treated as a singular first-declension noun by scribes with a poor knowledge of Latin.

Blagoblag is actually unrelated; it comes from Proto-Germanic *blakaz, from the Indo-European root *bʰleg-, “to shine”, referring to the glow of a computer screen. The word entered English via Old Norse, which retained the reduplicated form (lost in the West Germanic languages, but not the North or East) from verb class VII, *blagoblagana, “to shitpost.”

I find it entertaining.
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Caveat: Deepfake Presidents Saying Bad Raps

“Deepfake” refers to the emergent art of digitally creating completely artificial video or audio, using AI (artificially intelligent) networks, to simulate real people. The quality of computer graphical animation is at such a level that it is possible to do this, now. You can make your own audio or video of people doing things they never really did, which is indistinguishable from real audio or video recordings.
Someone recently made a rerecording of NWA’s “Fuck Tha Police,” a classic hip hop song from 1999. But instead of the original artists’ voices, they’ve used Deepfake simulations of 6 famous presidents’ voices.
I find this entertaining and eerie.

Six U.S. Presidents (Speech Synthesis), “Fuck Tha Police” (rap by N.W.A.).
Lyrics.

“Right about now, N.W.A. court is in full effect
Judge Dre presiding
In the case of N.W.A. vs. the Police Department
Prosecuting attorneys are: MC Ren, Ice Cube
And Eazy motherfuckin’ E”
“Order, order, order
Ice Cube, take the motherfuckin’ stand
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth
And nothin’ but the truth so help your black ass?”
“You god damn right!”
“Well, won’t you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?”
Fuck the police comin’ straight from the underground
A young nigga got it bad ’cause I’m brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority
Fuck that shit, ’cause I ain’t the one
For a punk motherfucker with a badge and a gun
To be beatin’ on, and thrown in jail
We can go toe to toe in the middle of a cell
Fuckin’ with me ’cause I’m a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin’ my car, lookin’ for the product
Thinkin’ every nigga is sellin’ narcotics
You’d rather see, me in the pen
Than me and Lorenzo rollin’ in a Benz-o
Beat a police out of shape
And when I’m finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the slaughter
Still gettin’ swoll off bread and water
I don’t know if they fags or what
Search a nigga down, and grabbin’ his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can’t get none
But don’t let it be a black and a white one
‘Cause they’ll slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin’ out for the white cop
Ice Cube will swarm
On any motherfucker in a blue uniform
Just ’cause I’m from the CPT
Punk police are afraid of me!
Huh, a young nigga on the warpath
And when I’m finished, it’s gonna be a bloodbath
Of cops, dyin’ in L.A.
Yo Dre, I got somethin’ to say
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the Police
“Example of scene one”
“Pull your god damn ass over right now”
“Aww shit, now what the fuck you pullin’ me over for?”
“‘Cause I feel like it!
Just sit your ass on the curb and shut the fuck up”
“Man, fuck this shit”
“Aight, smart ass, I’m takin’ your black ass to jail!”
“MC Ren, will you please give your testimony
To the jury about this fucked up incident?”
Fuck the police and Ren said it with authority
Because the niggas on the street is a majority
A gang, is with whoever I’m steppin’
And the motherfuckin’ weapon is kept in
A stash box, for the so-called law
Wishin’ Ren was a nigga that they never saw
Lights start flashin’ behind me
But they’re scared of a nigga so they mace me to blind me
But that shit don’t work, I just laugh
Because it gives ’em a hint, not to step in my path
For police, I’m sayin, “Fuck you, punk!”
Readin’ my rights and shit, it’s all junk
Pullin’ out a silly club, so you stand
With a fake-ass badge and a gun in your hand
But take off the gun so you can see what’s up
And we’ll go at it, punk, and I’ma fuck you up!
Make you think I’ma kick your ass
But drop your gat, and Ren’s gonna blast
I’m sneaky as fuck when it comes to crime
But I’m a smoke ’em now and not next time
Smoke any motherfucker that sweats me
Or any asshole that threatens me
I’m a sniper with a hell of a scope
Takin’ out a cop or two, they can’t cope with me
The motherfuckin’ villain that’s mad
With potential to get bad as fuck
So I’ma turn it around
Put in my clip, yo, and this is the sound
Yeah, somethin’ like that
But it all depends on the size of the gat
Takin’ out a police would make my day
But a nigga like Ren don’t give a fuck to say
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the Police
“Yeah man, what you need?”
“Police, open now”
“Aww shit”
“We have a warrant for Eazy-E’s arrest
Get down and put your hands up where I can see ’em”
“What the fuck did I do, man, what did I do?”
“Just shut the fuck up
And get your motherfuckin’ ass on the floor”
“But I didn’t do shit”
“Man, just shut the fuck up!”
“Eazy-E, won’t you step up to the stand
And tell the jury how you feel about this bullshit?”
I’m tired of the motherfuckin’ jackin’
Sweatin’ my gang, while I’m chillin’ in the shack, and
Shinin’ the light in my face, and for what?
Maybe it’s because I kick so much butt
I kick ass, or maybe ’cause I blast
On a stupid-assed nigga when I’m playin’ with the trigger
Of an Uzi or an AK
‘Cause the police always got somethin’ stupid to say
They put out my picture with silence
‘Cause my identity by itself causes violence
The E with the criminal behavior
Yeah, I’m a gangsta, but still I got flavor
Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?
A sucker in a uniform waitin’ to get shot
By me or another nigga
And with a gat it don’t matter if he’s smaller or bigger
(Size ain’t shit, he’s from the old school, fool)
And as you all know, E’s here to rule
Whenever I’m rollin’, keep lookin’ in the mirror
And ears on cue, yo, so I can hear a
Dumb motherfucker with a gun
And if I’m rollin’ off the 8, he’ll be the one
That I take out, and then get away
While I’m drivin’ off laughin’, this is what I’ll say
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the Police
“The verdict
The jury has found you guilty of being a redneck
White bread, chicken shit motherfucker”
“But wait, that’s a lie!
That’s a god damn lie!”
“Get him out of here!”
“I want justice!”
“Get him the fuck out my face!”
“I want justice!”
“Out, right now!”
“Fuck you, you black motherfuckers!”
Fuck the police
Fuck the police
Fuck the police

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Caveat: Tensegrity

How did I not know about these fascinatingly engineered doohickeys?
They use tension on flexible pieces in balance to create an illusion of “hovering.”
This guy built a stool suspended, from below, with lengths of chain. Interesting.

And here is a video showing how you can build one with Legos.

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Caveat: Give that homework app a one-star review

Schools in Wuhan, China, have been closed due to the epidemic. According to an article at LRB, kids were being forced to use a “homework app” on their phones to complete schoolwork. They figured out that if they gave the app a one-star review, it would get removed from the app store on their phones, and they’d have an excuse not to complete homework.

Children were presumably glad to be off school – until, that is, an app called DingTalk was introduced. Students are meant to sign in and join their class for online lessons; teachers use the app to set homework. Somehow the little brats worked out that if enough users gave the app a one-star review it would get booted off the App Store. Tens of thousands of reviews flooded in, and DingTalk’s rating plummeted overnight from 4.9 to 1.4.

See? There’s always a solution to these problems.
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Caveat: Powers of Ten

Here’s an interesting thing. This guy made a gear reduction gadget – like a car’s transmission. It seems small and reasonable enough on first glance. But it’s not. Here’s his gadget.

Each gear reduces by a power of 10 from the previous gear. Since there are 100 gears, that means that the slowest gear spins 10100 slower than the first gear. (10100 is the number called googol). Just watching the gadget, it appears the fastest gear is spinning about once every 4 seconds. The slowest gear, therefore, would spin once every 4×10-100 seconds. If there are about 3.15×107 seconds per year, and approximately 1.3×1010 (13 billion) years since the beginning of the universe, the age of the universe is about 4×1017 seconds. So… there would be about 1083 “age of universe” units of time before the slowest gear makes a full turn. That’s 1093 years, i.e. 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years. Actually, I just googled “how long until heat death of universe” I got “10100 years if protons all decay”. That works out nicely: the slowest gear would almost complete one turn before the universe dies.
I had an interesting thought, though. What if we attached the motor to the other end. It would need a lot of torque: more torque than there is energy in the universe. I was thinking about how many gears would get the spin speed up to relativistic speeds. It’s very few gears. At one turn every four seconds, the rim speed is about 0.0785 m/s (7.85×10-2 m/s). Since the speed of light is about 3×109 m/s, by the 12th gear the rim speed would exceed the speed of light under classical rules. So if one could actually get a motor with a enough torque to spin the gadget from the slow end, the 12th gear would become a supermassive black hole (in the sense that relativistic speeds increase mass toward infinity) and who knows about the gears beyond that?
This gadget is interesting, because if fits the potential for all these “bigger than the universe” numbers into an analogue device that fits on a table. I like thinking about it. I’m just speculating a bit – so forgive any errors in calculation – at such astronomical scales a few orders of magnitude one way or the other don’t impact the tone of the speculation much anyway.
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Caveat: one who hamsts

I sometimes read a satirical linguistics blog called Speculative Grammarian. That blog often posts short, one-line jokes and such. Here are some that recently amused me.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the nursery? He woke up.

This paradoxical statement is false.

The cannibal became a missionary because “if you can’t eat ’em, join ’em!”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam!

hamster (n) 1. one who hamsts. Ex.: “I’m gonna hamst you up.”

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Caveat: because sledgehammers

There is a genre television show in which people have their homes remodeled by a snarky team of hosts who bring in contractors. I have only very rarely watched this type of show, but they have intrigued me the times that I’ve caught them. I suppose they appeal to my utterly unfulfilled inner architect. Or something.
I didn’t watch one of these shows recently, either. I’m just saying that I am aware of such shows, as a preamble to this interesting datum.
Apparently the popularity of these shows has driven a measurable rise in the popularity of the so-called “open floor plan,” in which living room, dining room, and kitchen are combined. I’m not opposed to such floor plans – I grew up in one that was de facto open, and of course a single-room apartment such as I had in Korea is definitionally “open” too.
But now it’s being discussed that the reason these home remodeling shows like to implement open floor plans has little to do with the desires of the people whose homes are being remodeled. The reason these TV shows do open floor plans is because the viewers like to see the contractors knocking down walls with sledgehammers. So the viewer preference for violence drives the architectural style, which in turn drives the style’s popularity. Isn’t that interesting? Here’s a link.
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Caveat: dinosaurs eating people

What I’m listening to right now.

Fenn Rosenthal, “Dinosaurs In Love.” Rosenthal is not quite 4 years old. She had help from her dad in production, but the composition is hers.
Lyrics.

dinosaurs eating people
dinosaurs in love
dinosaurs having a party
they eat fruit
and cucumber
they
fall in love
they say ‘thank you’
a big bang came
and they died
dinosaurs
dinosaurs fell in love
but they didn’t say good bye
but they didn’t
say good bye

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Caveat: MFBGA

MAGA => MFBGA
The current emperor apparently wants to use his executive power to Make Federal Buildings Great Again (link). I’m not sure this bodes well for Federal Architecture, considering the executive’s previously oft-expressed taste in design.
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Caveat: using the free wifi at Starbucks

I have in my life gone to Starbucks mostly to use the free wifi.
This was especially true before I went to Korea in 2007. Starbucks rolled out their free wifi quite early relative to other businesses, so I remember using the free wifi at Starbucks while on various trips in the mid 2000’s.
Apparently, using the free wifi at Starbucks is still a thing in 2019. And apparently the FBI does it, too.
This article (link) on the emptywheel blog describes how the FBI used the Starbucks free wifi to download leaked documents about CIA hacking. Interagency cyberwarfare conducted over the airwaves while enjoying a nice nonfat soy latte.
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