Month: August 2016

Caveat: 30 years in a moment

Banalities & Journaling / Life is a Dream

I had a very strange dream during that dawn twilight time when I often dream.

I was walking around Paris. I actually did that… about 31 years ago. It is strange how dreams dredge up old material like that. It was quite vivid.

There was a strange building (Centre Pompidou?) and I felt compelled to go inside. Inside it was like some kind of bar or nightclub, but the people were all just standing around – not drinking or eating or dancing or anything. I had this thought that they were ghosts.

I tried to leave the place, but I was unable to do it. It was like a maze, trying to get out. It became a maze – an image borrowed from some movie seen on TV, perhaps – a hedgerow maze with little gold flowers attached the leaves of the hedges. The flowers were like stars strewn across the sky. The sky whirled, as if time was moving rapidly.

I lay down, and the floor was asphalt. This has some precedent in reality, at some point in my past. I felt lost.

When I awoke, it was later than my usual wake-up time. The weather is hot, already at 7:30 am, and the sun is shining in my southeast-facing windows. The fan is blowing, and the air seems a little less humid than yesterday, but still my apartment is uncomfortably warm.

I have no idea.

[daily log: walking, ]

Caveat: 목마른 송아지 우물 들여다 보듯

한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean) / 한국어 속담 (Aphorisms & Proverbs)

I found this aphorism in my aphorism book.

목마른 송아지 우물 들여다 보듯
mok.ma.reun song.a.ji u.mul deul.yeo.da.bo.deut
thirsty-PPART calf well lookinto-LIKE
[It is] like a calf looking into a well.

The book says this means something like “sour grapes.” I could see that – seeing something that he can’t get, perhaps the calf is annoyed.
[daily log: walking, 7.5km]
 

Caveat: Nonnet #7 “Azar”

A Daily Poem / Banalities & Journaling / Book 1 / My Poetry & Fiction / Nonnet

I’ve decided to take on the challenge I suggested to myself (with encouragement from my friend Bob) a few posts back: I will make a nonnet every day. The last few days I’ve tested, to see if it’s doable, and I have done it. So I have a little stockpile, now, of half-a-dozen nonnets. And I will move forward, and try to make a nonnet every day, and post it. I guess a side-effect of this is that I’m am, tentatively, returning to my old two-posts-a-day pattern, which I abandoned around the time of my cancer diagnosis, 3 years ago.

Counting backwards among the ones posted previously, starting with one last year, I think this would be number 7.

(Poem #32 on new numbering scheme)

Living is what we do till we die.
We take on difficult questions,
or we simply live each day.
We love that children play.
We can watch the rain.
We can see trees.
Then it ends.
It's just
luck.

– a nonnet
picture

Caveat: 선생님 잘했죠

Banalities & Journaling / Kids / The Wonders of Work

20160811_basic-page-009I received some high praise from a first grade elementary student. He wrote, “선생님 잘했죠” [seonsaengnim jalhaetjyo = “teacher did well”]. My heart was warmed.
The note, appearing at the bottom of a quiz paper (at right – you can click to see a larger version of the paper), surprised me – because of his personality, since I have constantly struggled to rein him in even a little bit.
In fact, in terms of behavior, he is a “wild child” – never sitting still, constantly in the faces of other students, always demanding attention. But he’s smart, too, and can sometimes focus really well. I guess he is getting something out of the class, despite appearances.
[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: Nonnet #6 “up in the trees”

A Daily Poem / Book 1 / My Drawings & Paintings / My Poetry & Fiction / Nonnet

Now I have made an “inverted” nonnet. I have no idea if this is a thing that’s been done before. It’s the same as a nonnet, just the other way around. Below, I drew the “blue cicada in a bottle” and originally posted it some years ago.
(Poem #31 on new numbering scheme)

Blue
singing
cicadas
up in the trees
have explained to me
without using language
that summer is not so bad,
that it passes in a moment,
that the green, breeze-blown leaves caress them.

– a reverse nonnet

Blue_cicada

picture[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: Mocha Oatmeal

Banalities & Journaling

About half the time, I have been having oatmeal for breakfast. It's nice and squishy and easy to eat. 

I have some instant Brazilian-style coffee that I make, and so I boil water and add some to my oatmeal (which I then microwave for a long time on a low setting, since it's not instant oatmeal), and some to my coffee. 

This morning, I was kind of zombie-like and I began preparing my oatmeal and coffee. Instead of putting the instant coffee in a cup, and the oatmeal in a bowl, I but both the coffee and the oatmeal in the bowl. I didn't notice. 

My oatmeal was coffee flavored. Not really that bad.

[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: Nonnet #5 “This House Opposes Summer”

A Daily Poem / Banalities & Journaling / Book 1 / My Poetry & Fiction / Nonnet

One reason I like nonnets is that it’s possible to compose them entirely in my head. They are sufficiently compact and structured that I can hold the whole thing in my “working memory” as I work out each line. Thus, I can do it while walking, which is another pastime of mine that doesn’t always mix well with writing, since this latter usually requires having a keyboard or notepad in front of me.
I made this nonnet walking to work.

(Poem #30 on new numbering scheme)

I hate summer, because it's too hot.
The sun squashes me, like an ant.
The air seems thick, like asphalt.
I start missing winter.
I could stride quickly.
I could shiver.
"Ah! So cold,
like a
ghost."

– a nonnet.

It’s occurred to me I could write a nonnet every day, while walking to work. Am I so ambitious?

picture[daily log: walking, 6.5km]

Caveat: superstition

Quotable

"It is a kind of social superstition, to suppose that to be truly friendly one must be saying friendly words all the time." – Herman Melville

[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: On Neoliberalism

Banalities & Journaling / Philosophy & Cultural Criticism / Politics, Economics & Current Affairs

Recently, the term "neoliberalism" seems to be undergoing a kind of evolution. In the past half century (i.e. during my lifetime), "neoliberalism" seems to have been a negative term used by people, mostly on the left, to define an opposition they don't like. Lately, however, some people have been trying to "reclaim" the term as defining their own position. Interestingly, I find this redefinition somewhat appealing. It seems to be a kind of "liberalism with libertarian tendencies" and/or "libertarianism with liberal tendencies" which actually hoves somewhat to where I am, politically, myself. 

One recent self-identified "neoliberal" that I ran across is Sam Bowman (I don't really know who that is – some economist maybe?). For the most part I am close to that defintion. Interestingly, I think Hillary Clinton is, too. Many Bernie Sandersites have called Clinton "neoliberal" despectively, but in fact, she might call herself neoliberal if identifying with Bowman's definition. 

I think what Bowman leaves out entirely, but which is critical to my understanding of both the historical conception of "neoliberalism" as well as why I think I don't quite match the concept, is on the issue of militarism and/or interventionism. I am not a pacifist, but I am not really in favor of militarism, even the "trying to save the failed-state-du-jour" variety common nowadays.

My biggest disappointment with Obama and biggest ambivalence about Hillary Clinton is in this realm. I think that this lacuna with respect to militarism in historical neoliberalism is its overlap with what was called "neocolonialism" when I was vaguely marxist, in college. And just as then, when it comes to such things, I am very much anti-interventionist. 

If I stick only with Bowman's defnition, I could be a neoliberal. But I refuse the term because of that unmentioned neocolonial affiliation. Both traditional liberals and traditional libertarians would also be unconfortable with it, I think.

[daily log: sweating]

Caveat: byeontae!

Banalities & Journaling / The Wonders of Work

The Korean word 변태 [byeontae] is translated as "pervert" but I think the meaning is a milder word than the way "pervert" is used in English. Or maybe not. Certainly I have realized it's one of the common insults thrown around between elementary students, and although the kids seem to have some general idea of what semantic field it covers, they don't seem to have much idea as to what a "pervert" actually is. Mostly, they're pretty sheltered.

I was surprised, therefore, yesterday with my youngest cohort (1st and 2nd graders) when one of the girls, Hailey, announced (in Korean) that one of the cartoon characters projected onto the screen of the vocabulary website we were working from in class was a "변태". I don't know what her exact words were, but her meaning was, "Teacher! That man is a byeontae!"

I was surprised. "Why do you say that?" I asked, in English.

Hailey is a sharp kid – she's not fond of speaking English but she's good at guessing what I'm meaning. Confidently, she strode to the front of the class and drew a black arrow on the whiteboard upon which the cartoon was projected, using a black board marker. Here is a picture in which I provide a screenshot of the cartoon in question and have added in Hailey's arrow (a little bit hard to see – it looks like part of the cartoon).

byeontae

I was speechless. The other kids giggled. I didn't really think the kids had any awareness of that kind of thing. Anyway, I changed the subject. But it was kinda funny, too. 

[daily log: walking, 7km]

 

Caveat: 여유있는 태도를 잃어서는 안 된다

한국말을 배움 (Failing to Learn Korean) / 한국어 속담 (Aphorisms & Proverbs)

This is a Korean idiom I ran across recently.

여유있는 태도를 잃어서는 안 된다
yeoyuitneun taedoreul ilheoseoneun an doenda
relax-have-PRESENTPARTICIPLE attitude-OBJ lose-MUSTNOTDO
One shouldn’t lose one’s relaxed attitude.

That complicated ending (-서는 안 된다) was hard for me to figure out. It seems to be some kind of fixed idiom that can’t quite be got at by its parts. I was about to give up, but then I got lucky and managed to google a grammatical explanation here.
So the lesson is, don’t lose your relaxed attitude when you can’t figure out some bit of Korean grammar. Google will save you.
[daily log: walking, 7km]

Caveat: an oath to fall from grace

Background Noise

What I'm listening to right now.

And One, "Heart of Stone."

Lyrics.

They want to become one flash
The video shows the body crash
Take an oath to fall from grace
Decide it with a devils face

Drag their victim to the shack
Unobserved put on their back
With agony and fear of death
First pray to god with the last breath

"What if he doesn't survive?"

Loser means leave him alone
But leaders got a heart of stone
Out of pity with their guests
Buried alive and laid to the rest

Seems like magic light
Stars are shining bright

Holz , Schlinge
Schließe meine Augen
Süßlicher Geruch
Betört meine Sinne

Vergebung für mein Sein
Hör die Bäume schreien
Ich spür euren Atem

Loser means leave him alone
But leaders got a heart of stone
Out of pity with their guests
Buried alive and laid to the rest

Seems like magic light
Stars are shining bright

[daily log: walking, 2km]

Caveat: Reunions

Banalities & Journaling

Yesterday was a holiday. And I had an interesting experience. 

A person who had been one of my best friends when I was in high school, over 30 years ago, had reached out to me to let me know that he just happened to be in Korea. Chris is quite busy – he's here on work, and they've filled up his schedule of course. But he had a few hours free, so I took the train into Seoul, and after some confusion about where to meet, I met up with him and his wife. We talked for a few hours and went across the street from the convention center where he was for his work to visit a temple called Bongeunsa. 

20160801_153105

He is essentially unchanged, to my perception. He still seems to be the same person I knew in high school. It was interesting talking to him, after so long – the last time I had seen him was 28 years ago, when I was a guest at his wedding. After that we had lost touch.

The picture quality is poor, I know. Nevertheless, perhaps if you knew us in high school, you'd figure out who he is? 

Today there was this huge downpour, but it was rather short. It's August, now – was that the monsoon's last hurrah? 

[daily log: walking, 2km]

Back to Top