Caveat: Christmas #50

So tired, again. I push hard but my endurance is lousy. So I put in my work day and then I'm exhausted and I have nothing left. 

I guess this gets to be a broken record, to have to see it over and over on the blog. But I feel like I should post something, and that's what I have.

As I pointed out at the beginning of the month, December is the hardest and busiest month in my experience as a hagwon teacher. This is entirely accurate. I get tomorrow off, but it's just a day, and back to work Friday. I may end up putting in more time this week than on a regular week, despite the day off. Certainly, even disregarding the time, I feel a lot of stress and I know my coworkers do too. Curt likes to criticize me about my lack of a "life" outside of work (my term, not his – he just says something like "you never do anything" or "you aren't very active"). I guess I don't have much of a life, it's true. Mostly, I don't feel up to it. Today he said I might as well be dead. Really, he did – I know he didn't mean it badly, but I felt pretty horrible after. Maybe it's true. I guess that work and doing nothing at home is all I'm up for, though. Is it really so bad? What should my life be for? I'm still alive. Doesn't that count for something?

[daily log: walking, 7.5 km]


  1. Bob

    Yes, being alive counts for a lot! Including for all your friends who haven’t seen you in years, but who are able to stay in touch via your blog; I, for one, am very glad for the opportunity. Although you sometimes post entries that include complaints about this or that, I still enjoy reading them, and the rest of your entries more than make up for the occasional flat, despondent ones. If you were dead, your blog would be much less interesting.
    Merry Christmas, humbug! –Bob

  2. Jori

    ditto what Bob said. Glad you’re alive, glad I can keep in touch with you via your blog. I also, have little “life” outside of work, so feel your listlessness there. Keep blogging please, it is a fascination to me to see how similarly we think, whether that is genetic by some route or other, or just that we are of similar age. Hope to see more of you, humbug, in the coming year.

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