My friend Peter – one of the few regular readers of this blog – remarked to me earlier today that I was a much more optimistic person in person than as conveyed in this blog.
This was a striking observation to me, because my personal impression of my own character and situation had always actually been somewhat opposite: that I was more pessimistic in person than in the blog.
Then again, there are other times when people have observed that I seem like a fairly content and happy person, despite my protestations to the contrary. This is true, for example, of my students, who seem to almost universally perceive me to be the "happy teacher."
I guess it's good that I can can come across that way. I'm not sure what it means, nor am I sure which is more "true." I have reflected sometimes – and joked – that I am a "pessimistic optimist" meaning that I am at core an optimistic person, but that I have a thick veneer of pessimism, partly as a matter of self-defence and partly just by virtue of the "Gillidette" personality type I inherited from my mother's side.
Whatever. I am both depressed and discouraged by life in the present moment, yet I continue to live day-to-day in a fairly steadfast manner that includes a lot of play and "fun" with my students.
[daily log: walking, 8.5km]