Caveat: Crash and Walk

I'm always so tired on Saturdays. It partly is just that it's the end of the long work week. But I also think having the odd schedule on Saturday makes it worse – normally I work afternoons, but Saturday I work mornings instead. So when I got home today and it was still light out, I just crashed. My brain was disoriented.

I woke up at around 8 pm, rested but now discombobulated, schedule-wise. I cleaned up my apartment a little, and at 9 I left to do my orbit around the Lake, and by going counterclockwise, I could stop at the HomePlus (Tesco) on the way home and buy some various things I've been meaning to buy – instant nurungji which they don't sell in the supermarket downstairs, some kind of non-fake-seeming cheese… etc.

Now I'm home, and trying to decipher my headache. Is it too much exercise, lately, that's leading to the headaches? The seemingly slight restoration of some of the nerve endings I thought maybe I'd lost forever in my left neck and lower cheek area? It's easy to get paranoid about symptoms, now.

What I'm listening to right now.

The Who, "Love Reign O'er Me." From the album (and movie) Quadrophenia.

[daily log: walking, 7.5 km; running, 3 km]

Caveat: Los Crazy Boys

My lowest-level elementary class is a group of 4 boys, who have earned the nickname "los crazy boys." I  think I started using this nickname because one day I started talking to them in Spanish out of frustration – I do this occasionally just to bewilder my students – and they began imitating me in a kind of "lalalala" way.

Los crazy boys are very low-level. They're not my youngest – they're 3rd and 4th graders – but they have lower ability than my little ones. But I try to have fun with them anyway, and I try to put the pressure on to learn something – the video camera is useful for putting on the pressure, so I use it pretty regularly. Here they are giving speeches about what they and their peers want to be when they grow up.

The best: James wants to be a doctor, because "knife is fun." …Not sure this is the surgeon I want.

Caveat: On Will

"Will is merely the drive to reduce dissonance between each of our active neural circuits." – An internet philosopher who goes by "Athene."

I'm really not sure what to make of this. At one level, it's pretty serious philosophy with strong grounding in the sciences. On the other hand, it seems gimicky in presentation, and I have some scepticism because of that. And what's with that voice? Something computer-generated, I think.

[daily log: walking, 7.5 km; running, 3 km]

Caveat: 절에가면 중인체 촌에가면 속인인체

This is an aphorism from my aphorism book.
절에가면           중인체           촌에가면            속인인체
jeol·e·ga·myeon   jung·in·che     cheon·e·ga·myeon   sok·in·in·che
temple-IN-go-WHEN monk-be-PRETEND village-IN-go-WHEN commoner-be-PRETEND
When in the temple, make like a monk, when in the village, make like a commoner
Essentially, this is equivalent to the English aphorism “when in Rome, do as the Romans.” I have been a fairly loyal practitioner of this style of behavior, I think – at least, to the best of my ability.

Caveat: Cactus

What an awesome story. Plus… legos – how can that go wrong?

Cactus_html_30eda82f


I was doing so well, this week, with my new, more hardcore exercise efforts. But today, leaving work with a pretty bad headache and feeling tired… I couldn't. I just didn't.

[daily log: walking, 5 km]

Caveat: Five Months Cancer-Free

I came out of surgery for tumor-removal five months ago this evening.

Quality of life, compared to 6 months ago, when the tumor in my mouth was rampant and as yet undiagnosed? Marginally improved. Less pain, overall – by quite a bit – but a lot of annoyance around the eating issues. Although slow, however, I do think there are small increments of improvement in that situation over time. So I look forward to returning more to "normal."

It was very foggy this evening when I did my circle in the park around the lake – so thick that the lights from the buildings in Ilsan were invisible from inside the park. The fog had that vaguely smoky smell that makes me wonder whether I'm inhaling toxic chemicals that have drifted across the Yellow Sea from China. Ah well.

The fog makes me think of my hometown of Arcata. Go figure.


What I'm listening to right now.

Kate Bush, "Hounds of Love." This song is old. It makes me think of cold winter days in St Paul in the mid to late 1980s.

[daily log: walking, 7.5 km; running, 3 km]

Caveat: Before Vs After Xmas Trees

2013-12-03 17.34.40Now that it's December, last night the front office staff decided we needed a Christmas tree. Koreans take their Christmas decorations seriously.

First, they decorated a potted plant next to the bookshelf (at right). The boss came down and was unimpressed. "No no no no," he said, shaking his head.

I, however, was quite pleased with it – I tried to explain the concept of a "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" but this effort at cultural elucidation was utterly lost on everyone involved.

 

So the boss put out cash for a fake Christmas tree – "real" trees are unheard of in Korea, which I don't think is a bad thing.

Then they decorated this new Christmas tree and then posed beside it when I took a picture, with student Clara hamming for the camera too.

2013-12-03 18.54.57

I really preferred the Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

Caveat: Aliens Obsession

Scan0001

2013-11-30 14.20.54Lately for some incomprehensible reason I've been on a kick of drawing these little alien characters. I draw them on whiteboards at work, I draw them in the margins of notes, I draw them on my sketchpad at home.

It seems as if I'm developing this idea that they are either a supplement to – or a replacement for – my currently-existing "brand" as a teacher, which is my alligator(s). Partly, I'm thinking of this because I find them easier to draw: I've long considered an ability to draw my "brand" image fast and consistently (like a cartoonist) to be an important characteristic. Also, these days I've been thinking a lot about what a series of "Jared-brand" ESL textbooks would actually look like (given my standing but currently dormant commitment to work on that as a project). In making textbooks for children, I would want something interesting and engaging for students, and these alien characters provide exactly that kind of supplemental energy.

[daily log: walking, 7.5 km; running, 3 km]

Caveat: Tuna Melt

I keep trying to think of "soft, bland" foods that can add variety to my unbearably unpleasant diet.

2013-12-02 12.46.26Yesterday I decided to try something: I made some squishy tuna salad (mostly tuna and mayo, but added some very finely chopped tomato and diced raisins – can you imagine?) and slathered it on soft sandwich bread, and added a slice of Korean pseudocheese and microwaved it. It seemed vaguely proteinicious but most importantly, it was the right combination of soft and coherent to make it eatable.

I'm trying to force myself to eat more "normal" foods. I bought a croissant at one of the wish-they-were-french bakeries that abound here and microwaved it slightly, making it kind of chewy and softer. It worked okay, though I had to "wash it down." That's my strategy with a lot of foods – I can chew things but then I can't swallow them effectively, so I wash it down with water or juice or soda. It works.

Last night I went around the Lake after work. I'm trying to start the jogging habit again, as I had been doing last year before my health started feeling like crap, which in retrospect was because of cancer. Just as I started my jog, the lights went out at the park – they always do at around 11 pm. I love jogging in the dark in the park – not the jogging part, but rather the in-the-dark part. I hate jogging, always have… and what is this "runner's high" people talk about, and why have I NEVER experienced it? But I do like being out in nature at night – even when it's cold.

A picture of the Ilsan skyline reflected in the Lake (which has no name – it's just 일산 호수 [Ilsan's lake]).2013-12-02 23.12.00

Caveat: “남자 없이 잘 살아”

This song title is interesting to me linguistically – the translation “I don’t need a man” isn’t really accurate, although it certainly captures the same spirit or attitude.
남자     없이           잘    살아
nam·ja  eops·i        jal   sar·a
man     not-have-ADV  well  live-INF
I live well not having a man.
I like how the -이 adverbial ending works here: literally, it ends up meaning, “man not havingly well [I] live.”
What I’m listening to right now.

Miss A [미쓰에이], “남자 없이 잘 살아” [I don’t need a man]
가사 (with bad sound-it-out-as-you-go-but-definitely-don’t-try-to-be-consistent romanization courtesy the internet):

This is for all the independent ladies
Let’s go

나는 남자 없이 잘 살아
   naneun namja obsi jal sara
그러니 자신이 없으면 내 곁에 오지를 마
   geuroni jasini obseumyon ne gyote ojireul ma
나는 함부로 날 안 팔아
   naneun hamburo naran para
왜냐면 난 I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
   wenyamyon nan I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (진짜?)
   I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jinjja?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (정말?)
   I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jongmal?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man
나는 남자 없이 잘 잘 살아
   naneun namja obsi jal jal sara
내 돈으로 방세 다 내
   ne doneuro bangse da ne
먹고 싶은 거 사 먹고 옷도 사 입고
   mokgo sipeun go sa mokgo otdo sa ipgo
충분하진 않지만 만족할 줄 알아
   chungbunhajin anchiman manjokhal jurara
그래서 난 나를 사랑해 (hey)
   geureso nan nareul saranghe (hey)
부모님의 용돈 내 돈처럼
   bumonime yongdon ne donchorom
쓰고 싶지 않아 나이가 많아
   sseugo sipji ana naiga mana
손 벌리지 않는 게 당연한 거 아냐
   son bolliji anneun ge dangyonhan go anya
그래서 난 내가 떳떳해 (hey)
   geureso nan nega ttot-ttot-he (hey)
Boy don’t say
내가 챙겨줄게 내가 아껴줄게 No No
   nega chenggyojulge nega akkyojulge No No
Boy don’t play
진지하게 올 게 아니면
   jinjihage ol ge animyon
나는 남자 없이 잘 살아
   naneun namja obsi jal sara
그러니 자신이 없으면 내 곁에 오지를 마
   geuroni jasini obseumyon ne gyote ojireul ma
나는 함부로 날 안 팔아
   naneun hamburo naran para
왜냐면 난 I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
   wenyamyon nan I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (진짜?)
   I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jinjja?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (정말?)
   I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jongmal?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man
나는 남자 없이 잘 잘 살아
   naneun namja obsi jal jal sara
잘난 체는 안돼 딴 데서는
   jallan cheneun andwe ttan desoneun
통할지 몰라도 너만큼 나도
   tonghalji mollado nomankeum nado
잘나진 않았지만 자신감은 넘쳐
jallajin anatjiman jasin-gameun nomchyo
그래서 난 나를 사랑해 (hey)
geureso nan nareul saranghe (hey)
내 힘으로 살게 딴 애처럼
ne himeuro salge ttan echorom
부모님 잘 만나 남자 잘 만나
bumonim jal manna namja jal manna
편하게 사는 거 관심이 없어
pyonhage saneun go gwansimi obso
그래서 난 내가 떳떳해 (hey)
geureso nan nega ttot-ttot-he (hey)
Boy don’t say
내가 너의 미래 나를 믿고 기대 No No
nega noye mire nareul mitgo gide No No
Boy don’t play
나를 존중할 게 아니면
nareul jonjunghal ge animyon
나는 남자 없이 잘 살아
naneun namja obsi jal sara
그러니 자신이 없으면 내 곁에 오지를 마
geuroni jasini obseumyon ne gyote ojireul ma
나는 함부로 날 안 팔아
naneun hamburo naran para
왜냐면 난 I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
wenyamyon nan I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (진짜?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jinjja?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (정말?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jongmal?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man
나는 남자 없이 잘 잘 살아
naneun namja obsi jal jal sara
매일 아침 일찍 일어나서
meirachim iljjik ironaso
하루 종일 바빠서
haru jongil bappaso
밥 한 끼 제대로 못 먹어
bap han kki jedero mot mogo
하지만 내가 좋아서 한 일이야 돈이야 작지만 다 내 땀이야
hajiman nega joaso han iriya doniya jakjiman da ne ttamiya
남자 친구가 사 준 반지 아니야
namja chingguga sa jun banji aniya
내 차 내 옷 내가 벌어서 산 거야
ne cha ne ot nega boroso san goya
적금 넣고 부모님 용돈 드리고 나서 산 거야
jokgeum noko bumonim yongdon deurigo naso san goya
남자 믿고 놀다 남자 떠나면 어떡할 거야
namja mitgo nolda namja ttonamyon ottokhal goya
이런 내가 부러워?
iron nega burowo?
부러우면 진 거야
buroumyon jin goya
나는 남자 없이 잘 살아
naneun namja obsi jal sara
그러니 자신이 없으면 내 곁에 오지를 마
geuroni jasini obseumyon ne gyote ojireul ma
나는 함부로 날 안 팔아
naneun hamburo naran para
왜냐면 난 I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
wenyamyon nan I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (진짜?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jinjja?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (정말?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (jongmal?)
I don’t need a man I don’t need a man
나는 남자 없이 잘 잘 살아
naneun namja obsi jal jal sara
[daily log: walking, 7.5 km; running, 3 km]

Caveat: 청보에 개똥

This is an aphorism from my book of aphorisms.
청보에                   개똥
cheong·bo·e             gae·ttong
blue-wrapping-paper-IN  dog-shit
[…like] dog shit in blue wrapping paper.
This is like that wonderful English aphorism about putting lipstick on a pig – the outside doesn’t match the inside: the problem of false advertising.
What’s the solution? Transparency, transparency, transparency. I guess I’m thinking about work.
IndexWant to hear something funny? Typically when I’m typing up these aphorisms, I will run a google search on them, just out of curiosity or to see if anything interesting comes up. I will do a web google search and an image google search.
Guess what the first image was that came up when I put this aphorism in to google? A picture of former president Lee Myung-bak (이명박) giving a speech, with the title “청보에 개똥을 쌀 놈, 이명박” (“guy who wraps dogshit in blue wrapping paper, Lee Myung-bak.”).

Caveat: And why they kept crawling so busily

SpoonRiverAnthology40. Theodore the Poet

AS a boy, Theodore, you sat for long hours
On the shore of the turbid Spoon
With deep-set eye staring at the door of the crawfish’s burrow,
Waiting for him to appear, pushing ahead,
First his waving antennæ, like straws of hay,
And soon his body, colored like soap-stone,
Gemmed with eyes of jet.
And you wondered in a trance of thought
What he knew, what he desired, and why he lived at all.
But later your vision watched for men and women
Hiding in burrows of fate amid great cities,
Looking for the souls of them to come out,
So that you could see
How they lived, and for what,
And why they kept crawling so busily
Along the sandy way where water fails
As the summer wanes.
– Edgar Lee Masters
(from Spoon River Anthology, 1915)
I awoke from a redundant Sunday nap to an apartment’s chill atmosphere which was redolent with uncreated or unsayable sacred texts, only to pick up and read this poem – almost at random – and some others in that book, and then I fell into a kind of reverie, imagining the reader here is like Pedro Páramo, adrift among the dead in Comala.
The imagined ghosts are the ones who become the most alive.
[daily log: walking, 3 km; running, 3 km]

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