I was lying awake last night, overwhelmed and frustrated. Why am I taking this so hard?
I think I always tend to view my "home" (wherever it is and such as it is) as a refuge from whatever frustrations I'm dealing with in life. So having the "home" situation BE the frustrating situation that I have to cope with leaves me feeling exceptionally naked and vulnerable.
When they gave me my first apartment, and there were issues, I was angry for a little bit, but I told myself: "it looks like they had some BAD foreign teachers before me [meaning dirty, unreliable, etc.] and I can prove myself different, and earn their respect." But when, one month on, they pull that out from under me, shuffle me around like a dog to a kennel, and they put me into a temporary apartment that would make a Guatemalan Discount Hotel look hospitable, well… to put it mildly, I feel underappreciated.
And never is there clear communication. That's the Korean Communication Taboo … I've written about that before. But when applied to my living situation, it's extra frustrating. And it strikes me as deeply UNPROFESSIONAL. I'll rant more about professionalism later, in a separate post – Koreans have no monopoly on lack of professionalism in the world.
I lay awake and found myself thinking: "Can it be that working in hagwon is actually better? Have I DOWNGRADED my career? Have I moved to a third-world country?" Hmmm…. that last point is relevant. I already knew this intellectually, and now I'm coming to grips with the "facts on the ground": Korea IS a third-world country, but Seoul is a first-world city, and so it appears that I'm going to have to reduce and alter expectations in a BIG WAY, to adapt to life in the provinces away from the capital.
But honestly… I have to ask, where's the "pride of place"? Or is this particular school just exceptionally messed up, in that respect? Is it better at other schools?
My friend Chris Marsh was given a pad that was horrible with no sink and threatened to leave if the situation wasn´t rectified in two weeks. His boss was even clueless that it had no sink, but she was at least forthright to fix the problem ASAP, and she was his former boss and knew he was a good employee and wasn´t about to lose her prized goose. She is a forward thinking hagwon boss. I don´t really think there being bad foreigners before is a good excuse for a place to be filthy. An employer should have a place ready for the cash cow, the EFL instructor. Hey, I can understand why you´re pissed. Yes, it´s better at other schools. There may be a pattern of what you have dealt with, based on my experiences, but it´s not the rule, as you and I know. It´s just a high chance to get either the good or the shit, so to speak. It seems like 50-50. Whereas it´s more anomalous over here.
You are my friend, and I want you to sleep and get your rest. I don´t want you sleepless. I want you restful. I am going to send good vibes your way and hope you will have good news for us soon. Keep me posted. Think of the good times at that great cafe we used to go to. I know you are a tenacious guy. Give it a few days for things to go your way. If not, come up with plan B whatever that is in terms of getting some kind of result.